I Have Chronic Fatigue — How Do I Not Waste My Life?

00:00:00.000 | How can a Christian live with a debilitating disability and not waste their lives?

00:00:09.880 | It's an important question from a listener named Sarah.

00:00:13.120 | "Hello Pastor John, I've enjoyed listening to your podcast for several years.

00:00:16.800 | My husband and I actually started our dating relationship by listening to and discussing

00:00:21.080 | Ask Pastor John episodes together."

00:00:23.600 | I mean, that is how you start a relationship, right?

00:00:26.480 | "I was very encouraged by your episode, God's Sovereign Plans Behind Your Most Unproductive

00:00:31.680 | Days.

00:00:32.680 | And my question is related.

00:00:33.680 | I have had chronic illness for several years and am struggling to understand God's purpose

00:00:38.160 | in it.

00:00:39.160 | Five years ago I left my job to serve as an intern on the mission field in Haiti.

00:00:44.080 | After the internship I started to pursue a longer term on the mission field, but doors

00:00:48.740 | clearly closed and my health problems began.

00:00:51.960 | I settled into my church, became involved there and met my husband.

00:00:54.840 | I was working at a job I loved and often invited co-workers to church, but my health continued

00:00:59.520 | to worsen and last year I had to quit my job altogether.

00:01:03.080 | I've also had to drop out of serving at church and frequently cannot even attend on Sunday.

00:01:08.320 | I've spent thousands of dollars I would gladly give to missions on medication and treatments.

00:01:13.720 | Time I would gladly serve the Lord with or invest in others is eaten up by doctor's appointments

00:01:18.160 | too.

00:01:19.160 | My energy is very limited and sometimes I can't even focus well enough to pray.

00:01:23.080 | I'm desperate to not waste my life, but the days, weeks and months consumed with illness

00:01:27.960 | are slipping through my fingers like sand.

00:01:31.200 | Five years ago I had so much to give and now I feel that I have so little to offer.

00:01:35.960 | Can weeks and months of sickness spent in bed count as much for eternity and God's glory

00:01:41.400 | as weeks and months spent serving on the mission field?

00:01:45.280 | How can I be a faithful servant to the Lord on the days when I can do nothing?

00:01:51.280 | The best thing I can do for Sarah, perhaps, is point her, if she isn't already familiar

00:01:58.860 | with it, to a sonnet by John Milton, the author of the greatest poem in English, namely Paradise

00:02:09.680 | Lost, and help her see herself with him in what he says in this poem, because he wrote

00:02:17.540 | it after he had gone totally blind in the midst of his writing career.

00:02:26.920 | And then put this in a biblical context.

00:02:29.920 | God changed Milton's heart, gave him an astonishing resilience, but in this poem you hear his

00:02:41.000 | sense of great loss at his blindness, just like Sarah feels great loss in what she's

00:02:49.820 | able to give and do for the sake of the kingdom.

00:02:54.180 | And I hope she'll find encouragement.

00:02:55.340 | Let me read the sonnet and then make some comments on it from a biblical standpoint.

00:03:02.440 | When I consider how my light is spent ere half my days in this dark world and wide,

00:03:10.400 | And that the one talent which is death to hide

00:03:14.820 | Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent

00:03:19.180 | To serve there with my Maker, and present my true account,

00:03:23.620 | Lest he returning chide, doth God exact day labor

00:03:27.720 | Light denied, I fondly ask?

00:03:30.760 | But patience, to prevent that murmur, soon replies,

00:03:36.060 | God doth not need either man's work or his gifts.

00:03:40.480 | Who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best.

00:03:45.580 | His state is kingly, thousands at his bidding speed,

00:03:51.220 | And post or land and ocean without rest, They also serve, who only stand and wait.

00:04:00.500 | Now, that's a beautiful poem from one who felt, at least at first, like God had taken

00:04:08.920 | away the gift and the strength to do the one thing he felt called to do.

00:04:16.840 | And I think it is biblical, the way he works it through.

00:04:21.360 | So let's think from Scripture about what it means to lose one's capacity to do what we

00:04:28.460 | would love to do, what we have loved doing for Christ and his kingdom.

00:04:35.720 | In August 1992, during the Summer Olympics, I preached two messages on what I called "Olympic

00:04:45.280 | spirituality," just to connect the sermons with what everybody was watching.

00:04:52.500 | And I built the messages around those several parts of Scripture that compared athletic

00:04:57.200 | efforts to the Christian life, like running the race and boxing, fighting sin.

00:05:04.220 | And as I preached those messages, I was aware that Elsie Viren, one of the oldest ladies

00:05:11.680 | in our church, was recovering from a broken hip in Augustana Home a couple of blocks away.

00:05:19.460 | And I knew that Elsie would never run again, just like Milton would never see again.

00:05:28.140 | Not in this life.

00:05:29.900 | So I wrote an article for the church newsletter, "How Can Elsie Run?"

00:05:38.340 | She doesn't look like an Olympic marathoner.

00:05:40.780 | She's in her late 80s, and she's got a broken hip and she can barely move.

00:05:46.100 | She doesn't look like an Olympic boxer.

00:05:50.540 | Can Elsie be an Olympian spiritually?

00:05:56.420 | And the answer is not that she doesn't have to run.

00:06:01.720 | The answer is that we all must run, whether old or young, whether sick or healthy, whether

00:06:08.280 | blind or seeing.

00:06:10.700 | And this is possible for the sick and senile because the race is a race against unbelief,

00:06:18.580 | not against sickness or senility.

00:06:21.340 | They may come, and we still win.

00:06:26.060 | Sickness may come, senility may come, and we still win.

00:06:29.380 | It is possible for the unhealthy to win the fight against unbelief because the fight is

00:06:40.780 | against lost hope, lost faith, not against lost health.

00:06:47.420 | Here's the biblical evidence for this.

00:06:49.500 | First Timothy 6.12, Paul says, "Fight the good fight of faith.

00:06:55.940 | Take hold of eternal life to which you were called when you made the good confession."

00:07:01.540 | So the fight is a fight of faith.

00:07:04.300 | It's not a fight to get out of bed.

00:07:07.620 | It's a fight to rest in God.

00:07:10.960 | It's not a fight to keep all the powers of youth, but to trust in the power of God.

00:07:16.940 | The race is run against doubt in God's goodness and love for us.

00:07:24.620 | It's a fight to stay satisfied in God in spite of broken hips and lost sight and failed memory

00:07:30.860 | and inexplicable fatigue.

00:07:34.900 | The race can and may be run flat out on your back.

00:07:41.140 | Paul said in 2 Timothy 4.7, "I have fought the good fight.

00:07:44.940 | I have finished the race.

00:07:47.140 | Namely, I have kept the faith."

00:07:51.740 | Keeping the race means keeping faith.

00:07:56.420 | It's a race against unbelief, not against aging or physical deterioration.

00:08:01.780 | Those are real temptations.

00:08:04.820 | But the great enemy is unbelief and lost hope.

00:08:10.140 | What gets us across the finish line with the saints cheering and the crown of life is not

00:08:15.980 | legs.

00:08:16.980 | It's not hands.

00:08:18.860 | It's faith and hope.

00:08:21.340 | When we cheer on the diseased or aging runners who run their final laps in hospital beds,

00:08:29.380 | what we are really saying is, "Don't throw away your confidence in Christ.

00:08:35.580 | It has great reward," Hebrews 10.35.

00:08:39.360 | The finishing line is crossed in the end, not by a burst of human energy, but by collapsing

00:08:49.660 | into the arms of God.

00:08:53.060 | And by all means, let those of us who have any energy left remember that we are called

00:09:01.760 | upon to, Paul says, "encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak, be patient with them all,"

00:09:10.980 | 1 Thessalonians 5.14.

00:09:13.900 | Finishing the race for all of us is a community effort.

00:09:20.620 | And this is especially true of those who are losing the ability they once had to use the

00:09:25.580 | means of grace.

00:09:28.300 | So my conclusion is, may God give us the grace to help every Elsie and every Sarah finish

00:09:40.020 | the race, namely the fight of faith.

00:09:43.700 | Amen.

00:09:44.700 | That's a beautiful word to Sarah and to all of us in various ways.

00:09:48.420 | Pastor John, thank you.

00:09:49.900 | And thanks for joining us today over at our online home.

00:09:52.220 | You can explore all 1,250 of our episodes.

00:09:54.860 | You can scan a list of our most popular ones, read full transcripts, even send us a question

00:09:58.900 | of your own.

00:09:59.900 | Go to DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn.

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00:10:06.420 | John podcast in your favorite podcast app.

00:10:09.200 | Be in the week with a question that blesses my heart, because it's a question to Pastor

00:10:13.400 | John on how a family should design a starter library of the most valuable books they can

00:10:18.900 | find.

00:10:19.900 | We'll talk biography, theology, missions, even works of literature, too.

00:10:24.060 | Don't miss this one next time on Friday when we talk about how to start a library and how

00:10:28.460 | to discern books.

00:10:29.460 | I'm your host, Tony Reinke.

00:10:30.460 | We'll see you then.

00:10:30.780 | [end]

00:10:31.280 | then.

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I Have Chronic Fatigue — How Do I Not Waste My Life?

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