back to indexRPF0619-Empathy_and_Personal_Responsibility_When_Living_Paycheck-to-Paycheck
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Welcome to Radical Personal Finance, a show dedicated to providing you with the knowledge, 00:00:18.400 |
skills, insight, and encouragement you need to live a rich and meaningful life now, 00:00:22.400 |
while building a plan for financial freedom in 10 years or less. 00:00:26.000 |
Last week I released a show titled "If Missing One Paycheck Is a Problem for You, 00:00:31.360 |
You Are Behaving Stupidly." It was episode 616 of the podcast. I encourage you to go back and 00:00:36.720 |
listen to it if you have not yet listened to it. But today on the show I have a guest who 00:00:41.760 |
listened to that show and took Umbridge with me. She wrote to me on Twitter saying, 00:00:45.760 |
"This content, this meaning this content, this show is unbelievably shamey and tone deaf." 00:00:51.520 |
And she followed up with a series of arguments in a Twitter thread, which I'll share those 00:00:54.640 |
arguments with you and then we'll bring her on the line. I thought this would be 00:00:57.760 |
a great discussion for us to have to talk about practical personal finance, 00:01:02.240 |
especially as it relates to people in our current environment, especially our current 00:01:08.800 |
political environment. So here are my guest's comments. She writes this, she says, "If I see 00:01:12.800 |
one more personal finance thought leader shaming federal employees or anyone who lives paycheck to 00:01:18.320 |
paycheck, I swear, look out, y'all have made me mad on a Saturday. Now if you'll excuse me, 00:01:23.440 |
I have to go to my side gig and work so I can pay my gas bill, but I'll be back." 00:01:27.040 |
She wrote to me and wrote specifically about me and my content. She says, "First off, 00:01:32.400 |
if your first thought is to use this historic moment of the government shutdown to weaponize 00:01:37.360 |
the financial independence philosophy to promote your shady podcast with some clickbait headline, 00:01:43.360 |
re-examine your priorities. Secondly, way to show us who you are, making a name for yourself on the 00:01:48.240 |
backs of people caught off guard by the behavior of a sociopath who happens to be in the White 00:01:52.400 |
House. But anyway, you're not the only one," referring to me. "I wish you were, but you're not." 00:01:56.480 |
She references a tweet by another man. "Hmm, what do these two guys have in common? Could it be, 00:02:01.600 |
just making a guess here, honestly?" With a link to an article titled "Unpacking Privilege, 00:02:08.480 |
Straight White Male Is the Lowest Difficulty Setting in the Game of Life." Anywho, you're 00:02:14.160 |
both numbers guys, you math a lot, you got that awesome emergency fund set aside, so let's math. 00:02:19.280 |
800,000 federal employees are furloughed right now. 4 million government contractors are also 00:02:25.280 |
affected. And a significant number of those government contractors, they're janitors, 00:02:29.280 |
security guards, maintenance workers, not exactly moneybags positions. Here's the GS schedule. This 00:02:34.720 |
dictates pay levels for federal employees. You'll see there's a base and then regional variations. 00:02:39.600 |
She links to a data table showing the salary tables for government employees. Here's another 00:02:45.440 |
view. It doesn't reflect the higher and somewhat rarer senior executive service levels. Most 00:02:50.080 |
working federal stiffs are GS 1 through 15. Links to another article on the federal government pay 00:02:55.600 |
scale. So if you're not a super duper extra special SES type, the most you will ever earn 00:03:02.160 |
in the federal government right now is $122,000 per year. And that's after years of service and 00:03:08.480 |
making it to the top or coming in from the private sector. The bottom third of tiers of federal 00:03:14.320 |
government employees are making less than $40,000 per year, often in our most expensive cities. 00:03:20.960 |
And she links to a chart of how much each federal employee makes and continues with this commentary. 00:03:26.560 |
You know that whole drain the swamp thing and the general hatred of federal workers that a 00:03:31.440 |
certain element likes to encourage? Here's where federal employees work. Gives a listing, 00:03:35.840 |
a link to an article showing where federal employees work. No one's getting rich in the 00:03:39.680 |
federal government. Well, maybe some are, but Congress isn't furloughed. A few of them are 00:03:44.000 |
doing the right thing. Links to an article from CNN indicating that more than 70 members of Congress 00:03:48.960 |
are choosing to reject their paychecks during the government shutdown. Oh and hey, federal 00:03:53.440 |
government workforce is 35% people of color, half of them black, 43% women. So yeah, let's pick on 00:04:00.080 |
people who demonstrably earn less in equivalent positions with equivalent education to their 00:04:04.560 |
white male counterparts. Links to an article indicating the demographics of the federal 00:04:08.880 |
workforce summarized. I have more to say but cannot even. Main takeaway, if you are carving 00:04:15.520 |
out a little brand for yourself in the financial independence, fire, or personal finance space, 00:04:20.560 |
remember this. You don't know someone else's life. So offer real help or sit down. If you do want to 00:04:30.800 |
help, a food bank is a good place to start and links to some information on food banks there in 00:04:35.840 |
the Washington DC area. Lisa, welcome to Radical Personal Finance. I'm glad you're here today. 00:04:40.400 |
Thank you. You do such a good job of channeling me. 00:04:43.760 |
Great. And bonus, you clean up my potty mouth. So that's like really good. 00:04:50.560 |
I did choose to censor a few of your adjectives there in that tweet. So I want to skip past all 00:04:56.800 |
the stuff at the beginning. If there's time, we'll get back to it. But the basic argument 00:05:00.960 |
that I hear you saying is essentially this. If I were summarizing, your basic argument is that 00:05:08.400 |
many federal employees don't have very much money because they aren't paid very well. You link to 00:05:14.400 |
various articles on the federal pay scale showing that it starts at relatively low numbers. You 00:05:19.040 |
allege that many employees earn less than $40,000 and live in expensive cities. And then you're 00:05:23.760 |
further frustrated that many of these people are black or brown or red or yellow in their skin 00:05:28.880 |
color, which you believe means that they earn less than white people. Is that a good summary of your 00:05:33.680 |
basic argument as you put it to me in that series of tweets? No, those are all supporting points in 00:05:40.000 |
a bigger argument. They're important points. I think that I've lived in Washington DC. I didn't 00:05:48.000 |
grow up here, but I've lived here for 30 plus years. And I have learned a lot about what kind 00:05:57.040 |
of the vast majority of the country perceives as federal workers and what federal workers really 00:06:03.920 |
do as people. And so I wouldn't say, I think those are all extraordinarily important points 00:06:10.880 |
in terms of really understanding who works in the federal government. I'd also link that, however, 00:06:17.040 |
to a much bigger point about shaming anyone who is living paycheck to paycheck. I think, first of 00:06:23.760 |
all, a lot of people in the United States don't realize that many federal workers really are 00:06:30.000 |
living paycheck to paycheck, not because they're irresponsible, but because they're making poverty 00:06:35.760 |
wages. About a third, I actually looked up that to figure it out, about 600,000 federal workers 00:06:43.280 |
make $50,000 or less per year. And that's not a poverty wage in a lot of parts of the country. 00:06:48.880 |
But if it's the only wage for a family of four, it might be. So just to know that. But the second 00:06:56.000 |
and bigger point that I was making, just as you made a point beyond the federal worker picture, 00:07:01.600 |
for those of us who don't work in the federal government, I don't, I assume you don't, is that 00:07:07.280 |
if you're living paycheck to paycheck, it's actually quite possible, especially right now, 00:07:13.920 |
even in the richest country in the world, for a high level of personal responsibility, 00:07:21.040 |
intelligence, sharpness, to actually coexist with financial trauma and financial difficulty, 00:07:28.720 |
and longstanding financial difficulty. So I think that's, you and I are on the same page with regard 00:07:34.240 |
to the importance of personal responsibility and how you literally can't get out of poverty or get 00:07:40.160 |
out of debt without that. But I think where we part ways, and my biggest argument is, I believe 00:07:45.920 |
there's a significant portion of people in this country who are not able to get out of debt, 00:07:51.360 |
are not able to get out of poverty, whatever the color of their skin, whatever their gender. 00:07:57.120 |
And they are highly responsible people. It's not because they're being stupid with their cable 00:08:03.440 |
bill. There's a way bigger, slow-moving debt crisis happening in our country right now. 00:08:10.560 |
But it has nothing to do with personal responsibility. It has a lot to do 00:08:15.200 |
just with the way that our economy runs, to be honest. We run on debt. 00:08:22.640 |
So then when I published a podcast episode with the title, the thesis of the show was 00:08:31.040 |
encapsulated in the title, "If missing one paycheck is a problem for you, you're behaving stupidly," 00:08:36.960 |
it sounds like what you're saying is that's very frustrating because for somebody who is 00:08:42.800 |
working hard, they feel as though they're expressing personal responsibility, but they're 00:08:47.200 |
still going to be very much pinched financially if they miss a paycheck. Then it sounds like 00:08:52.400 |
that's very frustrating to you because you believe that's exactly the wrong thing to say to someone 00:08:57.520 |
who's in that situation. Is that what you're saying? >> Yes, exactly. I would amplify that by 00:09:04.000 |
saying I don't object to it just because like, "Oh, it's a mean thing to say," but because if 00:09:10.080 |
you're being very pragmatic and very hard-headed about how you want to reach people who are in 00:09:14.800 |
trouble, if you start with that, I think their shame is going to prevent them from learning. 00:09:22.000 |
Their shame is going to prevent them from getting anywhere, particularly where, 00:09:26.240 |
as has been the case for people that I've known, they're doing all the right things already. 00:09:35.840 |
You can imagine how frustrating it is for one of the people profiled in the NPR piece that you were 00:09:42.880 |
looking at, the single mother whose kid is in college who's been working for TSA for 16 years. 00:09:48.320 |
And your response was, "Hey, if you've been working there for 16 years, you've had time 00:09:52.880 |
to figure this out." I'm here to tell you it's not that easy for a single mother. I was a single 00:09:59.360 |
mother. I actually do have a kid in college. I'm no longer a single mother. But for over 10 years, 00:10:06.160 |
I was widowed. I was working, but I wasn't in a great place for career advancement. I didn't 00:10:12.560 |
have a lot of energy to get my act together. It just happens. It wasn't because I was having 00:10:18.240 |
steak dinners or running up my cable bill. It was a little bit more basic than that. 00:10:23.440 |
So you can imagine how frustrating it is to have someone come along and say, "Well, 00:10:26.720 |
you've just been stupid for 16 years." It's like way to negate my entire existence. Do you have 00:10:33.920 |
any idea? It's not as simple as take the bus. I'm already taking the bus. It's not as simple as 00:10:39.520 |
stockpile insulin. My drug, my pharmacy won't give me more insulin than we need for a month. 00:10:47.680 |
And I can't afford to buy it from Mexico. So these are the very real concerns people, 00:10:53.440 |
I think, have when they're told, "You've just been stupid." 00:10:58.080 |
Right? So let's assume the fact. Let's talk about the mother that was reported in the NPR story. I 00:11:04.320 |
forget her name. But let's assume that you're speaking to somebody. And so if you were given 00:11:09.680 |
the same platform that I have, and you feel like my shaming that mother and using strong and 00:11:17.200 |
emphatic language, things like that, is inappropriate, what would you say if given the 00:11:22.960 |
chance to speak to that mother? Yeah. Well, it's very... Gosh. I mean, I think the first thing is 00:11:29.440 |
I would relate my own experience to hers. And so I don't want to pry, Joshua, but I always love 00:11:34.800 |
people's life stories. And so I'm imagining you have some really difficult things that have 00:11:38.960 |
happened to you in your life. In fact, I would hazard to say most of us who are doing personal 00:11:43.360 |
finance work, it's partly because we haven't liked that feeling of being helpless. And we want to 00:11:49.440 |
help other people feel less helpless. And so I would probably, though, come at it from a 00:11:55.360 |
"Not only have I been there, but I'm still there" point of view. I don't know how much you've 00:12:01.760 |
followed. I'm not a new blogger, but I'm very new at the project that I'm working on now, 00:12:06.800 |
because I've been in chronic debt for about 20 years. And I'm just being a very, very, very 00:12:12.480 |
and I'm just being transparent about that. And I'm saying, I've learned a ton of good stuff about 00:12:18.240 |
managing money, and I'm on a path to become debt free. But don't come to me for advice about how 00:12:25.520 |
to get out of debt. Do come to me for advice about how to just live your life and keep going and not 00:12:30.240 |
get in trouble and eventually find your way out. So I think I would never paint myself as having 00:12:38.720 |
the expertise to tell that woman how to live her life, but just show her my life and see if there 00:12:46.320 |
are things from my life that she can adapt that she would be interested in, if that makes sense. 00:12:51.120 |
It's a very interesting question, because I think I do perceive some parallels with her. 00:12:57.920 |
I definitely felt like, what if that were me? What would I do? 00:13:03.760 |
One thing that I have done, I'll just add this because it is advice. I've had to shift gears 00:13:08.560 |
lately. I now have one full-time job and some gigs. But for about 20 years, I was self-employed, 00:13:15.760 |
and I never felt comfortable having just one job. And a lot of us who work in this world talk about 00:13:22.240 |
stackable income. I think it's crucial. It's really crucial. But that's not the same as saying 00:13:27.360 |
to her like, what were you thinking not having a second job? If that makes sense. 00:13:32.960 |
Yes. So one of our questions here is basically communication methodology, 00:13:39.440 |
displays of empathy. How do you show somebody that you care about them? When do you be direct 00:13:45.600 |
and metaphorically slap someone across the face? When do you come alongside and sit and cry with 00:13:51.200 |
somebody? That's basically a communications methodology. And I was going to go on to 00:13:57.440 |
another point. Let me go ahead and respond to that briefly. So I wholeheartedly agree with you 00:14:03.520 |
in terms of moderating one's tone when communicating with people. I think any of us 00:14:11.360 |
who've sought to work with people have learned that one particular tack is not effective in all 00:14:18.560 |
circumstances. I think there are times in which you metaphorically want to slap somebody across 00:14:25.680 |
the face. There are times in which that can be an effective communication tactic. 00:14:29.440 |
There are times in which that's exactly the worst thing that you could possibly do. 00:14:33.200 |
And if you do that in that circumstance, then you can really cause all kinds of problems and really 00:14:41.520 |
hurt somebody. And so in general, when you create content for a public audience, it's very difficult 00:14:48.000 |
to know who the person who is listening to that content will be. So I'll concede here fully and 00:14:54.720 |
clearly that I took in that podcast an extremely blunt and perhaps intentionally inflammatory tone 00:15:02.640 |
in an intense effort to trigger somebody to confront somebody with a very clear and specific 00:15:12.880 |
argument. And I did that intentionally. And I have a graphic designer who prepares all of my artwork 00:15:20.400 |
for my shows, and I send her over my titles, and she got that title. She's like, "Wow, that doesn't 00:15:24.880 |
sound very nice." And I said, "Well, I don't know." And I would say specifically, this is definitely 00:15:31.200 |
one thing where men are very different than women. And in general, my bias, if I'm speaking to a 00:15:36.160 |
woman, if I'm speaking to the single mom in that story, I would generally be much more soft, much 00:15:42.880 |
more empathetic in my approach. If I were speaking to a man, I would also seek to be empathetic, 00:15:48.960 |
but I would default more quickly to a direct confrontation, because a lot of times that's 00:15:57.360 |
more effective with men. So we never know. And so my hope in creating a show like that, my hope is 00:16:05.440 |
that it would be effective at breaking through. And sometimes, when I think back to many of the 00:16:12.320 |
stupid things that I have done and the times when I have behaved stupidly, sometimes you don't see it 00:16:18.240 |
until you get very emotionally intense about it. And so I wholeheartedly concede that that 00:16:24.800 |
particular tone was recorded – sorry, that particular show was intended to be inflammatory, 00:16:31.760 |
it was intended to be confrontational, it was intended to make somebody think in a very 00:16:38.080 |
kind of loud and direct way. So I concede that point. I'll give you a chance to comment, 00:16:44.720 |
and I want to move on from there. Any comment on that? Yeah, a couple things maybe that we'll come 00:16:50.080 |
back to. I agree with you totally about the methodology. I think a lot about how we all have 00:16:57.840 |
to build personas for ourselves, whether you're a blogger or not, even just an ordinary person with 00:17:04.480 |
a Twitter. Build a little bit of a persona for who they represent themselves to be in those social 00:17:10.400 |
settings versus like – we're all much more complex than that, obviously. But I think related 00:17:15.920 |
to that, and if we can come back to this if we have time, it would be great, is yes, methodology, 00:17:20.880 |
it's sort of different approaches, and I think gender differences sometimes, intentional 00:17:26.480 |
differences, but then also there's a sort of set of assumptions. I singled you out, but really it 00:17:33.920 |
was part of a bigger pattern that has been centuries in the making in the United States, 00:17:38.800 |
which has to do with being only about personal responsibility and losing a lot of the nuance 00:17:46.320 |
about what happens in larger contexts. That's a huge thing to unpack, so we can come back to it. 00:17:53.520 |
Maybe it's even its own other conversation. I don't know. But glad to just kind of put a marker 00:18:00.480 |
on that. It's like the assumptions we're making about personal responsibility and then come back 00:18:04.400 |
to it later. Well, I think that fits into where I'd like to go from here because any long-term 00:18:10.640 |
listener of radical personal finance would know and be familiar with how I seek to keep things 00:18:18.880 |
quite varied. So sometimes I do very light, fluffy content. Sometimes I do very heavy content. I try 00:18:25.200 |
to keep the show interesting, and as a broadcaster, of course, that's always a challenge to know. 00:18:31.120 |
So I think we can agree that I was extremely blunt. But this is where I do want to go on 00:18:36.640 |
and speak to specifically what I said and also specifically to kind of the broader impact of 00:18:45.680 |
that. So the premise of my show, the argument that I advanced, was very specific, and it was 00:18:51.200 |
summed up in the title. Quote, "If missing one paycheck is a problem for you, you're behaving 00:19:00.320 |
stupidly." And of course, that wouldn't be true 100% of the time. I tried to provide at least one 00:19:07.600 |
or two very simple examples of caveats. If somebody has newly employed, for example, and they haven't 00:19:14.000 |
had a chance to – this is their very first paycheck, right? They just got hired, 00:19:19.680 |
and all of a sudden their job shuts down, and they were desperate for that paycheck. I think most of 00:19:24.800 |
us have been there where you're asking your boss and you're saying, "Please, can I have just a 00:19:28.080 |
short advance on my paycheck?" Certainly. Then the lack of being able to make it through one paycheck 00:19:34.080 |
is not a measure of stupidity. It's a measure of – sorry – of behaving stupidly. I want to be 00:19:39.680 |
careful because I'm using "stupidly" as an adverb, just simply describing behavior, not people. 00:19:47.040 |
But certainly in those situations, it's extremely understandable. But that argument is very, 00:19:54.720 |
very clear. So do you agree or disagree or how much do you agree with my argument that if you 00:20:02.800 |
have been in a situation where you've been earning income, you've been working in a government job, 00:20:06.720 |
etc., that if missing one paycheck is a problem for you, you are doing it incorrectly, and you 00:20:13.920 |
can't expect anything but problems because you're living so close to the line? What are your 00:20:18.240 |
thoughts in terms of do you agree with the argument? >> I would love to say that I do, 00:20:24.240 |
because as I mentioned, I really am a huge fan of personal responsibility and of planning and 00:20:30.720 |
of saving and all of those things. So I wish that I could say that. But as we're talking, 00:20:35.840 |
I'm sitting here looking at something called the Housing Plus Transportation Index. This is 00:20:40.720 |
an incredible instrument. I highly recommend if you love to geek out and play with numbers, 00:20:46.400 |
it's htaindex.c as in cat, n as in neighborhood, t as in tragedy.org. And I'll send you the link 00:20:56.560 |
for your readers after this. What you can do here is you can plug in any city you'd like, 00:21:01.600 |
and it will tell you what housing plus transportation costs on average for people 00:21:07.600 |
living in that city. So I'm looking at San Francisco, and most people living in San Francisco 00:21:12.480 |
are spending 41% of their income. So that's an average, right? So some people are spending a 00:21:18.880 |
lot more, some people less. 41% of their take-home income is going only to housing and transportation. 00:21:26.240 |
In Dallas, it's 44%. In Cleveland, it's 39%. I can put in any city you'd like. We can find out. 00:21:34.240 |
It gets kind of addictive to look at this. But you kind of get the gist of my point, which is 00:21:39.040 |
for most people in America, I don't know, 50 years ago, maybe 15% or 20% of their paycheck was spent 00:21:50.240 |
on these things. Now, and don't quote me on that one, because I haven't looked that up, but it's 00:21:54.960 |
just sort of general rule of thumb. It was a lot less to live and travel in America about 50 years 00:22:03.200 |
ago. Now people are spending sometimes close to half what they're bringing home just on that. 00:22:09.600 |
So that's one among several reasons why I would tend to disagree with you. The other being that 00:22:18.720 |
there's a dimension of this that disproportionately hits women, single parents, people of color who 00:22:27.920 |
are already earning less, not because of educational attainment, but just because of 00:22:33.920 |
discriminatory practices. There are people with disabilities, people whose gender is not either 00:22:42.320 |
man or woman, people who identify as gay or lesbian. They may be in and out of work, but if 00:22:51.200 |
they are holding down jobs, they may not have access to all the terrific jobs that other people 00:22:55.760 |
have. And they're spending about 40 to 50% sometimes before they even get home. So in that 00:23:05.760 |
scenario, it becomes really difficult. And mind you, if you have one setback, 40% of Americans, 00:23:12.240 |
this is a much quoted cited figure, 40% of Americans are about $400 away from disaster if 00:23:21.040 |
they have an emergency. When you have that level of people in America who are not saving, I don't 00:23:26.960 |
think we can anymore blame like, "Oh, everybody's lost the saving habit." There's actually some 00:23:32.800 |
functional things that are happening. One of them being that it no longer pays well to have a little 00:23:38.960 |
bit of savings in a passbook account, which is what my parents raised me to do. It's like, "Put 00:23:43.680 |
aside a little bit in a passbook account. You'll get 4% interest." Well, if you're lucky and you're 00:23:48.480 |
really smart, you'll get 2% interest now. And most people don't have enough money. I wouldn't say 00:23:54.560 |
most, but many, many people don't have enough money to invest in a mutual fund. You usually 00:23:59.360 |
have to have... This isn't always true, but often you have to have about $1,000 to get into a mutual 00:24:05.440 |
fund. Thankfully, places like Acorns and others are changing that. I know I'm rambling a bit and 00:24:12.880 |
bringing in a lot of different factors. I hope you can edit me to sound really super smart, but 00:24:18.320 |
my main takeaway is when I started... I come at this from a place of deep shame myself because 00:24:24.560 |
I've had a lot of advantages and yet I was just in a lot of debt, partly because of personal 00:24:30.080 |
situations and partly, I think, because of some bad decisions. When I really began to look at how 00:24:36.320 |
hard it is to save every month, that is number one when I started to get really interested in 00:24:43.600 |
personal finance and started to teach myself things. But it's also when I think I developed 00:24:48.640 |
a real... I no longer could say it was just stupidity. I couldn't in good conscience say 00:24:56.560 |
people are living paycheck to paycheck because they're just not planning well. 00:25:00.160 |
I think good planning can help. If I didn't think that, I wouldn't be participating in the personal 00:25:07.440 |
finance community. But I do think the way to approach it is not to presume that the individual 00:25:13.840 |
is at fault. So that's a very long way of saying, "I wish I could agree with you and I don't agree." 00:25:20.960 |
>> Andrew: Understood. So that's entirely fine. So let me share a few thoughts for you to consider 00:25:25.920 |
and we'll see if we wind up in any common solutions or if we're very far apart. So first, 00:25:35.920 |
I concede, without question, I concede that the United States of 2019 is different, very different, 00:25:45.200 |
than the United States of 1919 or of 1989 or any year that you want to face. I concede that point. 00:25:51.840 |
I concede the point that costs are extremely high. As far as I can tell, the housing and 00:25:59.360 |
transportation index affordability scale is entirely accurate. I concede the point that 00:26:06.560 |
different people have different advantages in life. Some people have more advantages than others. 00:26:11.600 |
I concede that point. I concede the point that many people have experienced intense trauma that 00:26:17.760 |
makes them psychologically unequipped or poorly equipped to deal with the challenges of the modern 00:26:23.920 |
world. I concede all of those points. And yet, once we go through that, you still have to come 00:26:31.360 |
to a point of saying, "Well, what do I do?" And I also happily concede that personal responsibility 00:26:39.280 |
is not a panacea. It's not something that just simply solves everything. You can take personal 00:26:47.680 |
responsibility. I could take personal responsibility for everything in my life and still be diagnosed 00:26:54.640 |
with cancer. It happens all the time. I could take personal responsibility for everything that 00:26:59.280 |
happens in my life, be hit by a drunk driver, and become a quadriplegic. So we all have to concede, 00:27:06.000 |
as is in some ways obvious, but of course useful to acknowledge, that things happen that we're not 00:27:14.560 |
in control of. And yet, we have to choose to respond. And so what I'm trying to do is to incite 00:27:23.520 |
somebody, to shock somebody, to say, "You know what? Even when my circumstances stink, even when 00:27:33.600 |
I live in an expensive place, I am choosing to live here." Because with the exception of somebody 00:27:40.240 |
who is a physical slave, somebody who's a sex slave, or who's physically locked up, or who's 00:27:46.800 |
jailed in San Francisco, in the San Francisco County Jail, everybody who lives in San Francisco 00:27:52.560 |
chooses to live in San Francisco. Now, they choose for different reasons. Some people live there 00:27:56.880 |
because they like it. Some people live there because that's the only place they can think 00:28:00.080 |
they can find a job. But that is a conscious choice. And so in choosing to live there, 00:28:05.840 |
every person who lives in San Francisco is making the choice to accept this extreme 00:28:11.520 |
unaffordability. Every person who chooses to live in Des Moines, Iowa, or in, I don't know, 00:28:18.160 |
you pick the city, we all choose to live there. Every one of us who chooses to live in the United 00:28:21.760 |
States of America, we choose to live there. And so even if everything is against us, even if we 00:28:28.480 |
are complete victims, the only rational response is to say, "What choice can I make?" And I'm happy— 00:28:37.200 |
- Yes, I would interrupt and say, "Choice says," because if you can't make that one, 00:28:42.400 |
you might make another one. - Fair enough. Fair enough. 00:28:44.480 |
So what choices can I make given my constraints? And what I find very frustrating, 00:28:53.200 |
and I'm perceiving this, and so feel free to correct me if I'm projecting something onto you 00:28:59.360 |
and to something similar to the arguments. What I find deeply frustrating is if you don't offer 00:29:06.320 |
somebody something that they can actually do, then nothing ever gets better. Now, I have not 00:29:12.960 |
reviewed your work on budgeting, et cetera, but what I mean is it's fine to begin with empathy. 00:29:18.480 |
Great, we need that. It's fine to begin with understanding. We need that. It's fine to begin 00:29:23.760 |
with acknowledgments of trauma. That's great. But at the end of the day, nothing about any of those 00:29:30.480 |
things is going to change the actual circumstance that somebody is in. Maybe there's a small 00:29:36.320 |
argument you could say if somebody feels validated and affirmed and psychologically 00:29:41.120 |
in a better state, then maybe they'll be able to get up and go to work better the next day. 00:29:46.640 |
True. But all of those things basically lead to a continuing, a constant and perpetual continuing 00:29:53.920 |
of a culture of victimhood, where instead of saying, "What small choice can I make 00:29:59.040 |
in this circumstance?" Because for every single person in a brutal situation, for every single 00:30:06.480 |
mother who just doesn't earn a lot of money and is discriminated against by everyone and is 00:30:12.320 |
handicapped and doesn't have money and they can't save money and they're completely behind there, 00:30:17.520 |
we can point to somebody else who has those exact same situations and they're scrimping and 00:30:22.720 |
scrapping and some little bit is getting tucked aside. If we're talking about money, the point I 00:30:27.520 |
made, they're setting something aside. They're doing something so that they're not at the risk 00:30:33.120 |
of one single paycheck. And at the end of the day, that has to be acknowledged if we're ever 00:30:38.560 |
going to make any progress. Go ahead. I don't think you and I disagree very much 00:30:45.520 |
at all. I think it really is semantics or a little bit of a different worldview, but 00:30:51.280 |
we arrive at similar places. Thank you for admitting you haven't yet read my work at the 00:31:00.080 |
traumatized budget, which is currently in beta. It's on medium. And eventually I'll shift to a 00:31:08.880 |
website if it feels like enough people really want to hear things the way I'm doing them. But I 00:31:14.960 |
definitely don't groove out on victimhood. Nor do a lot of the people that I really resilient people 00:31:23.680 |
that I've come in contact with who have been living paycheck to paycheck, have been dealing 00:31:28.000 |
with debt. I sometimes say, you actually, if you want to know how to like hack your grocery list 00:31:33.760 |
and make things work, ask a poor person. If you, you know, sort of one of the pieces of advice you 00:31:39.600 |
gave in your podcast was, you know, you could go to your neighbor and say, my children are hungry 00:31:43.920 |
and they'll feed you. And I'm like, yes, a poor person already knows that. Like they've done that 00:31:49.120 |
many times over. So there's, I think the difference is to not that you're doing this, but the 00:31:56.400 |
assumption that it's either or. Either it's all about, like, if I bring up someone's disadvantages, 00:32:02.240 |
especially if I do it in my intersectional feminist way, and we're talking about race, 00:32:07.920 |
we're talking about gender, and we're talking about sexual preference. I think a lot of people 00:32:12.000 |
will hear that and they'll be like, you're just making excuses. You're just, you know, 00:32:16.000 |
coming from this, like, you know, safe space culture, like, you know, sit down and grow a spine. 00:32:23.040 |
I don't think that having a spine is necessarily the opposite of what I talk about when I talk 00:32:31.440 |
about some people have had some different difficulties getting to where some of us start. 00:32:37.680 |
You know, some of us start out at a place we take for granted that there was a little wealth in our 00:32:42.880 |
family. We were able to go to dad for, you know, to loan us a thousand bucks for something. And 00:32:48.320 |
some people don't have that. I think you can have both understandings coexist. In other words, 00:32:57.520 |
you can acknowledge someone's difficulties and that they didn't start at the same spot in the race, 00:33:02.000 |
and you can inspire them. What choices do you have? Make those choices. You can do both. And that's 00:33:09.920 |
what I'm hoping to do. So what I actually, since you asked about my work, what I do with the little 00:33:18.080 |
posts that I've been putting up is I try always to have really pragmatic, immediate advice, like, 00:33:25.760 |
do this and do this. And it's hard because I'm also not painting myself as a great expert. I'm 00:33:32.960 |
just a fellow traveler, but there's some things I've learned how to do. But I always try to focus 00:33:38.000 |
on what can I give this person right now who's drowning? They don't need my sympathy. They need 00:33:44.000 |
a rope. You know, like, they need to get out of the drowning. So I don't know if that makes sense 00:33:50.000 |
to you. But, you know, and you've alluded to kind of sort of the current sociopolitical moment. I 00:33:56.560 |
think like you, there are many times that I'm just wringing my hands because I feel like people are 00:34:01.440 |
not talking with one another. And so often we share values. We share a lot of values. And so 00:34:07.280 |
I'm really excited to be able to talk with someone who's really focused on the personal 00:34:14.400 |
responsibility end of the spectrum, where I'm really focused on the, you know, kind of big 00:34:21.200 |
picture context that individuals have to operate in. Because I think you and I can learn so much 00:34:28.960 |
from one another. I've learned so much already from this conversation. Yeah. So one comment on 00:34:35.600 |
kind of solutions. One thing that you haven't done, which I expected, is you haven't thus far 00:34:42.960 |
taken on an overt political tone in any of the comments that you've made, 00:34:48.320 |
which is what I expected. Because most of the time when I receive feedback such as yours, 00:34:53.520 |
usually people generally are seeking to say, "Well, you should advocate for a political position. You 00:35:00.880 |
should advocate for, you know, after all, if President Trump would just make a different 00:35:05.520 |
choice, then he could open up the government and then that would alleviate the suffering of these 00:35:08.880 |
people. Or if you come from the other end of the political spectrum, if Senator Schumer or Speaker 00:35:15.440 |
Pelosi would just, you know, open up the government, then that would solve a solution." Basically, 00:35:20.800 |
so I want to first, you're welcome to comment on it, but I'll tell you why I think almost any kind 00:35:28.640 |
of conversation or anything that paints, you know, so-called sympathy or, I didn't mean to say so- 00:35:36.560 |
called sympathy, anything that just focuses on the victimhood or the alleged victimhood of people who 00:35:42.960 |
are working for their federal government is because it's an impossibility in terms of changing the 00:35:48.400 |
political system is an impossibility. In some ways, the people who are working for the federal 00:35:56.640 |
government and to find their lives disrupted probably ought to be thankful because usually 00:36:00.720 |
when people are political pawns, they're usually marched off to war and sent off to some, you know, 00:36:05.680 |
forgotten corner of the world to die for the political ambitions of the politicians in charge. 00:36:10.400 |
So, not getting paid is probably better than being sent off to war. So, we can be thankful 00:36:15.120 |
that this is the way that this particular TIF is being worked out. But at the end of the day, 00:36:20.640 |
when you cut through all that stuff, it just, it seems to me that, and I concede it's important, 00:36:26.720 |
especially in interpersonal communication, it's very important to just acknowledge 00:36:31.520 |
where somebody's coming from because it certainly can feel extremely raw to not acknowledge where 00:36:42.080 |
somebody is coming from in terms of the challenge that they're facing in interpersonal communication. 00:36:47.840 |
At the end of the day, the only solution is for each person to recognize, and that's why I tried 00:36:51.360 |
to focus on, if you are working for the federal government and you're expecting to be paid long 00:36:58.000 |
term, it's hard for me to imagine what you're thinking. Now, you may have your own reasons 00:37:03.920 |
for doing it, but to expecting to be paid long term, expecting your pension to be paid out long 00:37:08.800 |
term, this is, it's not reality. And so, I don't mind bearing a little bit of the burden of being 00:37:18.800 |
somebody who is speaking bluntly to try to say, "You gotta face reality. If you didn't see this 00:37:25.360 |
coming, it's not because you weren't affirmed, it was because you weren't paying attention." 00:37:30.720 |
And how can we not pay attention to one of the most important things of our life, 00:37:35.280 |
which is our income stream? Yeah, I listened to, and probably will listen again to that portion of 00:37:42.800 |
the podcast. As you can imagine, living here where, even though I've never worked in the 00:37:48.480 |
government, it's sort of all around me. I'm aware of the relationship between this particular 00:37:56.400 |
metropolitan region and the federal government. And it really gave me pause. And it's funny, 00:38:01.760 |
I've been thinking about it since because this is going to make you laugh, but it actually has not 00:38:06.800 |
ever dawned on me, even knowing that the federal government has been in some crisis. It's never 00:38:13.840 |
dawned on me that a federal job is now not a secure job anymore because of the many shutdowns 00:38:21.440 |
and the political maneuvering, what have you. I chalk that sort of ignorance of mine up to age 00:38:27.920 |
a little bit. And by ignorance, I don't say that I necessarily agree with you, but I definitely 00:38:33.120 |
am giving it a lot of thought. So I was born actually the same year that John F. Kennedy was 00:38:41.360 |
killed. So I've been around for a while, and I actually have a memory of a government, federal 00:38:46.480 |
government that worked better than this one did. I was doing a fellowship, I was in my 20s, when 00:38:53.760 |
Newt Gingrich led the charge for the first really significant shutdown that the government had had 00:39:00.240 |
for a very long time. And it was really the first time that it was used in such a highly political, 00:39:05.360 |
kind of as a bargaining tool. It didn't work, but they keep trying it, you know. And I've lost count 00:39:12.960 |
of how many shutdowns there have been since then. I guess there's a part of me that's like feeling 00:39:17.760 |
hopeful that perhaps we'll renew that commitment to politics across the aisle and to people, 00:39:25.360 |
co-sponsors from different parties, good heavens, if that could ever happen again, passing bills and 00:39:32.000 |
kind of like making things work. Maybe I was naive even then, you know what I mean? Maybe I was 00:39:38.720 |
even then sort of over-believing in federal government. But I do feel, you know, I feel 00:39:46.880 |
that you have a point, and I'm just, I'm sitting with it, you know, because I don't 00:39:55.680 |
kind of know what would come next or how we would, how things would work. We're really 00:40:03.360 |
relearning how federal, state, and local government can or should work with one another. 00:40:09.760 |
You know, cities now are taking on the majority of the work around climate adaptation, and nobody 00:40:17.520 |
could have foreseen that. But that's what's happening because the federal government's 00:40:21.200 |
not doing a whole lot. So. - Well, I appreciate you're considering it. And I think we all, 00:40:27.200 |
especially those of us who have a political bone, I think most of us would desire for there to be 00:40:34.960 |
an ability for people to talk, which is why I invited you on the show today. I don't, 00:40:41.360 |
I've argued with plenty of people on Twitter, but I don't find it to be particularly productive, 00:40:45.120 |
because it tends to be an echo chamber where we go and try to find who we can. And, you know, 00:40:50.720 |
I thought about, in responding to your tweet thread, I thought about responding point by point 00:40:57.120 |
and, pardon the hubris in the statement, but point by point trying to tear you to shreds, 00:41:06.960 |
you know, because I wrote down each of, you know, I wrote down each of the logical fallacies in your 00:41:15.360 |
comments and blah, blah, blah. And I could do that, but I don't see that as being particularly 00:41:18.560 |
productive. And I thought this would be a more interesting way to discuss it. So, I think most 00:41:23.280 |
of us do look for it. But unfortunately, I would say what I try to do is look at the hard facts. 00:41:30.720 |
And my concern is that we, that seems to be difficult to do. And I haven't gotten to it yet, 00:41:39.600 |
but my first, it was supposed to be before Christmas, I was going to do yet another show, 00:41:43.600 |
which is a common theme in radical personal finance, yet another show on the federal debt. 00:41:48.160 |
You know, we are in an incredible territory for the last year. In 2018, the federal deficit was 00:41:54.720 |
almost a trillion dollars, and it is on track for that in 2019. And yet, you know, we're arguing 00:42:00.960 |
about 5.7 billion dollars over funding for a border wall and ignoring a trillion dollar deficit. 00:42:09.200 |
And unfortunately, basically, we have two political parties, those who want to spend 00:42:15.040 |
all the money times three and those that want to spend all the money times two. And there's really 00:42:19.600 |
no functional difference between those because at the end of the day, we're past all the money, 00:42:23.600 |
the money's gone, the money's run out. And even the federal budget shutdown, one of the things 00:42:28.640 |
that's happened in the last 50 years, and the difference between JFK is if you, versus an 00:42:33.920 |
administration like JFK versus today, it used to be that a US president in his executive power to 00:42:41.120 |
be able to direct things and the Congress and their budget allocations, they had a huge amount 00:42:45.360 |
of control over the money. In turn, what I mean is specifically the percentage of federal spending 00:42:52.000 |
that was discretionary was very large, whereas today, the total discretionary spending is 00:42:57.520 |
something like, I don't have the charts in front of me, but this is directionally accurate, 00:43:00.960 |
something like 25 or 30% of the federal budget. So that means that instead of having large, 00:43:06.960 |
grand sweeping political agendas, I'm going to run on this particular thing, I'm going to get 00:43:11.360 |
elected into office, and we're going to radically divert the federal budget. At this point, 00:43:16.560 |
the federal budget is so constrained by the entitlement programs and by defense spending, 00:43:21.840 |
that the most that a US president can affect or the most a US congressman can decide about 00:43:26.640 |
is really only a small piece of the pie, it's 25 or 30%. And so it is absurd that we have these 00:43:34.720 |
arguments. It's absurd that we are engaging in a $5.7 billion argument, which is, 00:43:41.280 |
I don't know what metaphor to draw, what analogy to use to show how meaningless that is and the 00:43:49.280 |
trillions of dollars that is the federal budget, but that is the moment that we're in, unfortunately. 00:43:54.640 |
And I guess to close this particular thought stream out, I would just say, 00:44:02.000 |
I don't see any possible way that it improves. I don't see any change. I don't see any solution. 00:44:08.640 |
I see no possible way that it improves. So my pragmatic solution is, assume as we live in the 00:44:16.160 |
sunset of the American empire, and as we face the decline and collapse of the American empire, 00:44:22.080 |
now, how do you and I as individuals succeed in the face of collapse? And how do we help 00:44:30.000 |
those around us who we can affect succeed in the face of collapse? And that's my question. 00:44:34.320 |
I assume at this point that it's a fact that the American empire will die and is dying, 00:44:40.960 |
and it will take several decades until it ultimately dies. Now, how do I help individual 00:44:45.680 |
people prosper in the face of that? Because at the end of the day, when somebody is disabled 00:44:53.760 |
and they're depending on that social security disability paycheck for everything that they have, 00:44:58.800 |
and they can't work, at the end of the day, that person's life is still important when the federal 00:45:04.480 |
government runs out of money. So I've still got to figure out how to help care for them when the 00:45:09.040 |
federal government runs out of money. I can't fix the federal government, but I can work on trying 00:45:15.000 |
Is this, I'm taking it all in, but I'm assuming it's a rhetorical statement. I'm not sure you 00:45:22.720 |
need anything from me on this just now, do you? - No, yeah, correct. I just was giving you an 00:45:27.840 |
opportunity to, if you have any response, I was just giving you an opportunity to respond. 00:45:32.240 |
- I do have some thoughts. They're not especially well-formulated, so I don't spend very much of my 00:45:39.440 |
time. Interestingly, I do spend a lot of my time on the macro forces that have brought us to this 00:45:47.920 |
moment. So that could be a productive, interesting conversation for us one day. I haven't spent as 00:45:54.400 |
much time thinking about what's next or how that's going to play out at a really big picture level, 00:46:01.920 |
the way you're thinking about it. So it's interesting. I think you and I are kind of 00:46:05.520 |
meeting at the fork of the road, and I've given a lot of thought, not nearly enough yet, but a lot 00:46:12.160 |
of thought actually to the concept of American empire and how deeply flawed and messed up that 00:46:20.480 |
was to begin with, and what it was based on was economically and humanely unsustainable. 00:46:27.440 |
And no empire can go on forever because they're always based on some essential, 00:46:36.480 |
there's a word just at the tip of my tongue, but just some essential 00:46:45.600 |
taking advantage of, there are haves and have-nots in every empire, right? A lot of have-nots 00:46:53.360 |
working, passing up the wealth to the haves, that's my feeling. And because that's gotten us 00:47:01.520 |
to where we are, other forces have gotten us to what you're talking about, but here we are, 00:47:06.800 |
we're about to lose it all, and I think you are probably right that we are about to lose it all. 00:47:11.840 |
My hope would be, could we possibly get ourselves to more of a collaborative model of all the 00:47:20.320 |
things in your podcast, the one that really sticks with me right now is, if you're out of food, 00:47:25.920 |
you live in a wealthy country and you can go to a neighbor and you can ask that neighbor to take 00:47:30.400 |
you to the store. I don't think that's true for every single person, but it's true for enough of 00:47:35.520 |
us that I could go to my neighbor and she could say, "I have extra potatoes." Maybe, just maybe, 00:47:44.080 |
we have a shot at being that kind of America, I don't know. I would hope that we would, 00:47:51.600 |
when everything fell apart in 2008, I was looking at how frugal people were becoming and how 00:47:57.600 |
collaborative they were becoming, and it was like the first blush of the sharing economy, 00:48:02.240 |
and it really did feel like it was sharing at that point. It wasn't just driven by money. 00:48:06.560 |
I was like, "Wow, could we become those people, the people who share? That could be really amazing." 00:48:16.800 |
I certainly do hope it, and I would say, in general, when neighbors talk to neighbors 00:48:24.640 |
and work with neighbors and don't just yell at one another, in general, the solutions are common, 00:48:32.480 |
and it does exist. And one of the just the basic, my diagnosis of, of course, 00:48:41.600 |
it would be foolish to think that any one thing is what causes the problems, just like it would 00:48:48.560 |
be foolish just in any kind of physical ailment. I think one of the aspects of myopia in the modern 00:48:54.960 |
kind of Western system of medicine is we try to identify one thing and say, "Well, this one 00:49:00.240 |
particular thing is causing this other one specific problem," but the body is a whole organism, 00:49:04.720 |
and so there may be a multitude of factors and symptoms are expressed in different ways, 00:49:09.040 |
and they might have common causes or they might not. In the same way, when I analyze a society, 00:49:16.400 |
I see that there are, well, I identify multiple things, but I do think one of the aspects of it, 00:49:25.040 |
and this is where you get the political arguments between classical conservative arguments and 00:49:30.400 |
classical liberal arguments and the place of the state, etc., which is certainly in today's 00:49:37.200 |
political climate, this is not particularly a common argument, but I look at it down to 00:49:45.040 |
– I look and think about the doctrine of subsidiarity, which is basically the idea that 00:49:53.600 |
if something can be handled on a small and local level, that's the best place for it. And I would 00:49:59.600 |
say many of these pains that we are facing are – or can be caused by the fact that we're trying 00:50:07.520 |
to handle things on too large of a level. For example, this is why I'm opposed to all entitlement 00:50:13.520 |
programs. I'm opposed – personally, I'm opposed to all welfare programs, and the reason is that a 00:50:19.280 |
large government bureaucracy doesn't have the capacity to identify if somebody is in truly 00:50:25.920 |
in need and they're in need of charity or if somebody is choosing to go without – sorry, 00:50:33.200 |
somebody is choosing because of personal laziness or lack of personal responsibility, etc. So you 00:50:39.120 |
and I as individuals, if we go and interact with our neighbors, we can go and we can see and we 00:50:43.520 |
can say, "Man, this person is in a rough spot," and we can open up our storehouses and dispense 00:50:50.320 |
copious charity without any reservation, recognizing that they simply need help. 00:50:55.680 |
But on the other hand, we can go to our neighbor and the neighbor is asking us for help and we 00:50:59.440 |
can identify, "Wait a second. This person doesn't actually need help. What they actually need is to 00:51:03.600 |
get a job. They need to get to work. They're lazy, and I'm not going to facilitate this behavior." 00:51:07.600 |
And so individuals can make that kind of choice, whereas a government bureaucrat, 00:51:11.920 |
it doesn't have the – number one, it's not possible for them to either gather the data 00:51:16.400 |
because they have to have a standardized process and a set of intake forms, etc., 00:51:20.080 |
but they have to have a standardized process, and they're not allowed to make those kinds 00:51:25.200 |
of decisions because government is supposed to serve all. And so, I mean, we all have different 00:51:30.240 |
– >> Well, I think there's a partnership that needs to develop because I actually think there's 00:51:37.040 |
a role for a larger government to figure out, in collaboration with local and state governments, 00:51:45.360 |
some standards, and certainly the federal government has to enforce the Constitution. 00:51:49.760 |
And I made a very similar argument not too long ago and was brought to heel 00:51:59.840 |
by some considerations around, for example, we see that, again, it goes back to who you are in 00:52:11.120 |
your body, what risks you might run. A person like me feels perfectly at home in my neighborhood, 00:52:20.000 |
and I'm just doing great, and local government's good for me. But in other situations where you 00:52:27.120 |
have local governments that have been corrupt, that have had brutal policing strategies, that 00:52:35.360 |
have done stop-and-frisk type things at will, and they don't feel like they have any oversight, 00:52:40.800 |
they don't have to answer to anyone, suddenly it does become important to have a feeling of 00:52:48.160 |
accountability, and I think that's where a better federal government could play a better role, 00:52:54.640 |
is in exerting some accountability, some common standards, some shared standards. 00:52:59.120 |
And I know that's very controversial and super liberal, and I'll own it, but I will say, 00:53:04.160 |
I work in a field where local decision-making is the most important thing, and I love what you're 00:53:13.600 |
saying so completely, but also there's this delicate partnership that has to do with local 00:53:21.120 |
accountability that I think we should keep in mind as well, if that makes sense. 00:53:26.720 |
>> JF: Well, I have no – trust me, I get along well with liberals, I have no problem. I get along 00:53:33.120 |
well with most people from just about any perspective. So I don't mind a good liberal 00:53:40.400 |
argument. The concern to me is when – I would rather deal – me personally, I would rather deal 00:53:51.200 |
with the local thugs who may or may not have badges than ever deal with the federal thugs 00:54:03.040 |
who control everything. And that's the problem, is that if you have a virtuous people, of course, 00:54:07.920 |
it sounds great, but if you don't have a virtuous people, then you essentially go on a constant 00:54:16.800 |
pendulum. President Trump is certainly a very different person than President Obama, and 00:54:21.920 |
President Obama is a different person than President Bush before him, who was a different 00:54:25.600 |
person, etc., back on down the line. And my concern is always anything that – I guess we can't go on 00:54:37.840 |
and on, otherwise we wind up just talking for hours about political theory, but I'm always very 00:54:42.320 |
concerned about the power that any person or entity or political party has, because I always 00:54:48.880 |
think, "What if I'm in the minority position, and I'm automatically in this situation?" 00:54:53.520 |
- Well, thank a career federal worker, because they are the backbone who keep things consistent 00:54:59.920 |
when these politicians come and go. That's actually the secret, right? 00:55:04.960 |
- Well, don't assume too much about my niceness. I don't have many nice things to say about most of 00:55:13.920 |
those. I would be happy if they just eliminated the TSA, but that would be better than paying 00:55:18.080 |
them. Lisa, anything else that you'd like to say as we kind of wrap up today's show? 00:55:22.080 |
- No, no, no. I'm looking forward to our continued deepening disagreements over the years, Joshua. 00:55:30.960 |
It's really great to meet you. - I like that attitude, Lisa. And I thank you for listening 00:55:36.400 |
to the show and for being willing to share your thoughts. And I would just simply – I would say 00:55:41.120 |
to you this. Each of us – and this is one of my goals with my listening audience – each of us has 00:55:49.120 |
an opportunity where we can make a difference. And each of us has a unique voice where I think that 00:55:56.960 |
difference is most importantly applied. And so I think there's a place for, again, strong and 00:56:06.160 |
offensive public arguments. I think there's an important place for those arguments. I also think 00:56:12.240 |
that there is an important place for individuals to come along and to work with individuals very 00:56:20.320 |
empathetically. And only the people who are involved in that circumstance and in those details 00:56:28.800 |
will actually know the difference. And I think of it like this. If you walk into a friend's house 00:56:36.640 |
and we have that ability of someone we know to instantly discern their emotional state, 00:56:41.680 |
and you should be able to discern if you know somebody, does this person need a sharp and clear 00:56:46.080 |
word or does this person need a loving hug? That's the place of us as individuals. Now, the 00:56:50.720 |
place of being in a public space where you're speaking in public I think is very different, 00:56:55.440 |
and it's important to convey messages clearly. And my hope is that there are enough kind of soft, 00:57:02.560 |
thoughtful shows in the archives to help people who are in that emotional state. And I hope that 00:57:08.000 |
my blunt and clear words about – and the message I wanted to share was simply this. 00:57:13.840 |
No matter the circumstances you're in, you always have a choice and you have to choose to do the 00:57:19.440 |
thing that's best going to be for you. So Lisa, thank you for doing your work and I'll continue 00:57:23.680 |
doing my work and hopefully one by one we will be able to help our neighbors. Tell us your website 00:57:29.440 |
and I'll point your Twitter handle Lisa, but go ahead and tell us your website in case any of my 00:57:33.040 |
listeners are interested in reading more of your work. >>LISA Thank you. So I should have an actual 00:57:38.240 |
website this fall, but for the moment you can find me on Medium. If you go to Medium, look for 00:57:46.800 |
the Traumatized Budget or look for me on Twitter @CheapBohemian and I'll get you there. 00:57:55.200 |
>>SAM Thank you for coming on Lisa. >>LISA Thank you so much, 00:57:58.400 |
Joshua. It's really a pleasure to talk with you. 00:58:01.360 |
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