back to indexRPF0501-Protect_From_Sexual_Scandal
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and meaningful life now while building a plan 00:00:33.400 |
I had not intended to record a show this week at all. 00:00:36.840 |
I've been working on delivering the beta version 00:00:45.440 |
And so after episode 500, I was planning to take a break, 00:00:52.120 |
And so I'm doing it, but it's gonna be a difficult one 00:00:57.840 |
Basically, my goal today is to share with you 00:01:01.040 |
some thoughts and ideas about how to protect yourself 00:01:07.840 |
your entire financial life from being destroyed 00:01:18.000 |
Now, two quick upfront warnings as I begin today's show. 00:01:33.480 |
So I would consider a show like this mandatory listening 00:01:37.520 |
for any person of perhaps double digit age and older, 00:01:55.000 |
I recommend that you skip to a different show 00:02:02.600 |
Number two, if you are one who prefers your discussion 00:02:05.760 |
of financial matters to be completely sanitized 00:02:09.280 |
of religion, references to God and scripture, 00:02:16.260 |
this will be a show that you will want to skip 00:02:23.060 |
to accurately deal with matters of sexual conduct 00:02:36.560 |
and we'll continue with the adults in the room. 00:02:40.280 |
I guess a third comment would be that in my mind, 00:02:43.320 |
I frankly don't often know how to speak to these things 00:02:59.560 |
to speak to an audience of women about these issues. 00:03:05.800 |
of Radical Personal Finance is primarily male 00:03:28.680 |
Probably the first episode in 500 in which I have done that, 00:03:40.200 |
I've been focusing on other projects, but I feel I must. 00:04:06.600 |
it's Friday afternoon, November 10, 2017 at 3.17 PM. 00:04:15.600 |
from the front page editor of the Huffington Post 00:04:25.400 |
of sexual misconduct towards well-known people. 00:04:51.000 |
I don't know, has it been a week, month, a month or so? 00:05:12.480 |
And so there's been tremendous financial hardship. 00:05:14.400 |
So of course, me being the host of "Rumor, the Daily," 00:05:30.320 |
is because most of the people who have been exposed, 00:05:33.960 |
most of the people who are receiving allegations 00:05:40.240 |
have been people that I just don't have much in common with. 00:05:48.200 |
And I have often felt like it would be wrong for me to come 00:05:52.160 |
and if it's just somebody like Harvey Weinstein, 00:05:54.920 |
a very liberal person involved in an industry 00:06:21.520 |
I don't wanna be rejoicing when my enemy falls. 00:06:25.120 |
I don't wanna let my heart be glad when somebody stumbles. 00:06:30.120 |
And I'm deeply concerned with our current conversation 00:06:34.800 |
because it seems as though that's the first inclination, 00:06:40.360 |
of the way people speak publicly in their Twitter feeds 00:06:44.760 |
it's almost like we rejoice when our political enemies fall. 00:07:12.960 |
when an explosive Washington Post article was published 00:07:22.400 |
a man who is running for Senate in the state of Alabama, 00:07:46.680 |
twice thrown out of office under ethics obligations 00:07:57.660 |
and then an absolutely explosive article yesterday. 00:08:06.620 |
we should deal with the things that are near us. 00:08:15.200 |
We have no right to go across town, as an example. 00:08:20.840 |
and try to point out all of the problems in somebody else 00:08:26.640 |
that are in our own life, in our own families, 00:08:29.060 |
in our own local church, in our own community, 00:08:37.360 |
"in your neighbor's eye until you deal with the log 00:08:50.020 |
"You know what, I think that we should always be the first 00:08:59.940 |
I need to be the one who's dealing with the misconduct 00:09:26.100 |
constantly just trying to find fault in other people. 00:09:34.860 |
let's not be so blind to the problems that are near us. 00:09:47.380 |
then I should be one to stand up and not be silent 00:09:54.380 |
I have a responsibility to speak clearly to the subject. 00:10:28.380 |
Unfortunately, I've lost significant confidence 00:10:45.020 |
And I believe that one of the things we should do 00:10:53.160 |
that people are innocent until they're proven guilty. 00:10:57.300 |
So I don't know if Moore or any of these people are guilty. 00:11:04.940 |
And if they are guilty, I want to see justice brought. 00:11:08.700 |
And if they're innocent, I want to see justice brought. 00:11:14.320 |
because we need to make sure that we listen carefully 00:11:17.360 |
to the victims of crimes and the victims of immorality. 00:11:30.360 |
we should stop everything and listen very, very carefully. 00:11:34.700 |
But I don't think we should believe every victim's story. 00:11:40.620 |
We should look for evidence, and we should look for proof, 00:11:46.660 |
we must follow through consistently with that guilt. 00:11:52.180 |
"The one who states his case first seems right 00:12:00.740 |
is for us to hear fully facts and not jump to conclusions. 00:12:05.740 |
We should hear fully facts, we should hear fully evidence, 00:12:40.620 |
We wanna make sure that there's good evidence, 00:12:42.460 |
and we wanna make sure that we don't just jump in 00:12:46.660 |
that we don't defend somebody without hearing facts, 00:12:49.680 |
nor that we automatically come against somebody 00:12:56.180 |
because we're separating into these tribal groupings, 00:13:00.180 |
and things that we would find utterly abhorrent 00:13:07.020 |
we jump to it when it gives us a place for power, 00:13:09.380 |
and vice versa, and I think we're all guilty of that. 00:13:15.740 |
it says you shall not fall in with the many to do evil. 00:13:23.420 |
Siding with the many so as to pervert justice. 00:13:25.980 |
Even if you're one person standing against thousands, 00:13:44.220 |
and the victims, restitution brought to victims 00:13:59.340 |
And so, I ask you, if you are a conservative person, 00:14:15.300 |
a leading Democrat donor, and behind the scenes guy, 00:14:25.500 |
and these allegations come against him publicly, 00:14:32.120 |
and have a tendency towards a liberal perspective, 00:14:36.320 |
did you celebrate when you heard that Judge Roy Moore, 00:14:41.320 |
an open, loud mouth bigot, according to some, 00:14:54.320 |
In fact, if you're listening to Radical Personal Finance, 00:14:57.480 |
I don't know how you could listen to this show 00:14:58.680 |
and celebrate, but I know a whole lot of people did, 00:15:03.520 |
We need to be those who seek for justice and for truth, 00:15:11.980 |
but not celebrate, don't rejoice when your enemy falls, 00:15:16.200 |
and don't let your heart be glad when he stumbles. 00:15:21.740 |
and I didn't know any other way to start the show, 00:15:34.160 |
just to talk about how you can protect yourself. 00:15:36.300 |
For the sake of clarity, here is my position, my worldview, 00:15:47.500 |
between any people except one husband and one wife is wrong. 00:16:17.220 |
just about the very confusing situation that we face, 00:16:24.260 |
the confusing situation that we face in our modern era 00:16:30.940 |
This is what is so strange to me about Hollywood. 00:16:34.340 |
Seems like, I don't know, I don't watch many movies, 00:16:46.380 |
But it sure seems to me like anything goes in Hollywood, 00:16:50.060 |
or at least based upon what's recounted to me 00:16:54.460 |
it seems as though you can do just about anything, 00:16:58.540 |
And it seems like it's, whether it's in Hollywood movies 00:17:13.460 |
And yet it also seems to be one of the most popular shows. 00:17:17.280 |
I don't know how an industry that puts out that 00:17:28.600 |
when abuse, especially sexual abuse is pictured, 00:17:32.080 |
it's not pictured as something that's abhorrent, 00:17:43.640 |
And the art of the movie should come against it 00:17:49.160 |
with a clear moral understanding, not an ambiguity. 00:17:54.400 |
And I'm constantly, I'm amazed at how this industry 00:18:02.080 |
words fail me, 'cause very strong ones come to mind, 00:18:06.480 |
all of these people who are alleged of sexual abuse. 00:18:21.680 |
And I don't know, I'm just amazed at how an industry 00:18:35.200 |
And yet that's the industry that has been using 00:18:40.680 |
I don't care who brings justice or righteousness. 00:18:51.280 |
So my concern for you is how can you protect yourself? 00:19:04.760 |
the higher you go in your place of prominence, 00:19:11.740 |
You know what, there are a whole lot of victims 00:19:33.580 |
That's your job and my job to be diligent where we are. 00:19:44.140 |
You say, well, Joshua, I'm not in a place of notoriety. 00:20:04.500 |
As we see in the allegations against Judge Roy Moore, 00:20:12.600 |
All of a sudden, allegations from 30 or 40 years prior 00:20:18.780 |
You better make sure that doesn't happen to you. 00:20:26.340 |
and some of them will be very specific and tactical. 00:20:29.360 |
Perhaps the biggest thing that you should consider 00:20:34.660 |
is if you have the opportunity, you should marry 00:20:42.380 |
One of my biggest concerns about our current society, 00:20:51.580 |
within the kind of the modern evangelical Christian society, 00:20:58.260 |
by allowing marriage to be painted and set up 00:21:02.780 |
as a form of bondage rather than as a form of joy 00:21:11.160 |
I've been wanting to do an episode for a while 00:21:15.600 |
for me to do lightly and so I need to be very prepared for it. 00:21:18.780 |
We want to do a series on marriage and money. 00:21:20.540 |
I've had requests for it and it's so important 00:21:24.580 |
the number one thing that you can do to get wealthy 00:21:29.180 |
The data on this, the sociological data on this subject 00:21:40.220 |
whether it's purely financial, income-wise, wealth-wise, 00:22:06.960 |
and what was remarkable to me was the difference in classes. 00:22:14.700 |
people have this idea, there's this cultural perception, 00:22:31.060 |
anything is right, however you wanna live is appropriate. 00:22:39.740 |
they gotta stay married and people get married quick 00:22:50.740 |
this very permissive attitude among the elite 00:23:00.260 |
The facts are among the lower class in the United States, 00:23:12.220 |
although the upper class preaches the most vociferously 00:23:22.220 |
it doesn't really make that big of a difference. 00:23:27.160 |
They marry at pretty much the historical rates 00:23:42.660 |
but one of the best things you can do for your wealth 00:23:47.580 |
and one of the big reasons for marriage is sex. 00:23:59.160 |
but one of the big reasons for marriage is sex. 00:24:04.160 |
Marriage is a gift from God to allow you to enjoy sex 00:24:16.680 |
is get married so that you can enjoy sex morally, 00:24:30.260 |
and unfortunately, I'm ashamed, utterly ashamed 00:24:37.400 |
who hem and haw about the fact that marriage is for sex 00:24:45.960 |
with everyone else and not recognize just the value of sex. 00:24:59.160 |
There are two in the New Testament in the Christian Bible, 00:25:12.920 |
but they're listed in the Bible as two different letters 00:25:17.100 |
and the Corinthian church is probably the example 00:25:20.680 |
that we have in the Bible of the most dysfunctional, 00:25:28.360 |
I think most of us, at least me and many of you that I know, 00:25:33.940 |
you think about saying the words Corinthian church 00:25:38.560 |
because they're just so utterly dysfunctional and immoral. 00:25:50.060 |
a seaside town filled with every bit of immorality 00:25:54.520 |
And so the letter is written by a man named Paul 00:26:00.220 |
It's many of his letters that make up the New Testament. 00:26:05.540 |
and has a lot of careful, practical instruction 00:26:11.140 |
So read from 1 Corinthians chapter seven, Paul says this, 00:26:14.300 |
"Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, 00:26:16.740 |
"it is good for a man not to have sexual relations 00:26:25.820 |
when the Bible uses the term sexual immorality, 00:26:30.220 |
outside of marriage relationship with a husband and wife. 00:26:34.500 |
And there are a couple different words that are often used, 00:26:39.060 |
and the words adultery, sex with somebody who is married. 00:26:47.140 |
between a husband and a wife within the context of marriage. 00:26:50.180 |
"But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, 00:26:56.420 |
"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, 00:27:01.880 |
"For the wife does not have authority over her own body, 00:27:05.920 |
"Likewise, the husband does not have authority 00:27:14.800 |
"except perhaps by agreement for a limited time 00:27:29.200 |
to kind of preach and pull that whole passage of heart 00:27:36.160 |
But the basic message that I wanna emphasize here 00:28:01.880 |
but it's definitely not an ancillary benefit. 00:28:09.720 |
there's nothing, it's not more righteous to be celibate. 00:28:15.920 |
It's righteous to be married and to enjoy sex. 00:28:24.080 |
Solomon says, teaching to his son, he says this, 00:28:41.300 |
"Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight. 00:28:51.920 |
I should tell her she's a lovely doe and see what it says. 00:28:54.900 |
It's a little bit of cultural appropriateness 00:29:06.380 |
"Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight. 00:29:20.800 |
"For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord 00:29:28.220 |
"and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. 00:29:34.260 |
"and because of his great folly he is led astray." 00:29:37.420 |
I don't want you to die for lack of discipline 00:29:41.100 |
and I don't wanna die for lack of discipline. 00:29:48.340 |
to protect ourselves from committing sexual immorality. 00:29:53.340 |
I was gonna say, and I forgot at the beginning, 00:29:56.300 |
but the way that you protect yourself from sexual scandal 00:30:11.660 |
Now, unfortunately, that's not enough anymore. 00:30:15.260 |
You have to avoid even the appearance of evil, 00:30:19.140 |
as the King James Bible says in one translation 00:30:24.900 |
So every other translation, I need to look this up, 00:30:31.340 |
So it's not enough just to not do bad things to people. 00:30:34.500 |
It's not enough just to not commit sexual sin, 00:30:37.340 |
but you have to avoid even the appearance of it. 00:30:43.580 |
walls of discipline so that you can stay faithful 00:30:57.460 |
and the temptations for those of you who are not married. 00:31:02.500 |
Now, if you're also not married and you're courting, 00:31:09.020 |
Put walls and fences around yourself to protect yourself. 00:31:12.340 |
One thing my wife and I learned that we had to do 00:31:24.900 |
where the passions of the flesh would lead to sin. 00:31:28.120 |
Once you start down that road, it is impossible to stop. 00:31:34.060 |
And your only point of defense is don't put yourself 00:31:45.780 |
Chaperones are a good idea, and it shouldn't be foisted 00:31:52.540 |
It's something that you should put upon yourself 00:31:59.180 |
If you're gonna protect yourself from sexual scandal, 00:32:06.860 |
you have to be careful what appetites you feed. 00:32:10.940 |
If you feed the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh, 00:32:29.240 |
Feed your appetite for a fulfilling sexual relationship 00:32:34.020 |
with your wife and give yourself fully to her. 00:32:45.120 |
People often have this impression and this idea 00:32:48.560 |
that erotic fulfillment is easy and it's natural, 00:32:55.520 |
And these, I struggle so much, these cretins, 00:33:11.120 |
and it obviously has the same corrosive effect 00:33:15.440 |
And then they have the gall to say that somehow 00:33:17.700 |
those of us who say, no, what you're doing is destructive 00:33:24.800 |
'cause you're lifting up lust and things that are evil 00:33:27.960 |
and putting them as good and painting them with good levels. 00:33:36.320 |
If you feed on the lust of those cretins in Hollywood, 00:33:42.380 |
you're gonna wind up acting like those cretins in Hollywood. 00:33:50.080 |
So feed your appetite for a fulfilling sexual relationship 00:33:56.200 |
Cut off as many external sources of temptation as you can. 00:33:59.740 |
It's always hard 'cause you sound a little bit, 00:34:17.400 |
I don't know, I guess a Game of Thrones earlier, 00:34:29.320 |
so why would I parade that stuff before my eyes? 00:34:38.200 |
James, for those of you who aren't big Bible readers, 00:35:02.320 |
It's the only book that we have in the Bible, 00:35:16.440 |
and it's actually my favorite book in the Bible, 00:35:26.220 |
James says this, "Let no one say when he is tempted, 00:35:57.780 |
"when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 00:36:09.720 |
but you've gotta make sure that you channel your desire 00:36:29.460 |
and I think there is sufficient evidence on all sides 00:36:32.540 |
to demonstrate as to why that is so important. 00:36:43.740 |
and you've gotta make sure that you give no place 00:36:50.180 |
Now, you can't control if somebody accuses you, 00:36:52.740 |
but you can control if there's any evidence whatsoever 00:37:19.860 |
with someone of the opposite sex to whom you're not married, 00:37:33.220 |
you can generally do this without ever anyone knowing it. 00:37:45.840 |
you're gonna be forced constantly to be in situations 00:37:49.280 |
in which you're going to be together and alone 00:37:54.520 |
But make sure that you don't get put in a place 00:37:57.120 |
where you're alone in a private, concealed place 00:38:00.480 |
with someone of the opposite sex to whom you're not married. 00:38:06.640 |
if anybody finds out that you practice this habit. 00:38:10.280 |
But those same people who mock you mercilessly today 00:38:14.240 |
are the ones who will tear you limb from limb 00:38:18.080 |
if there's an accusation of any kind against you. 00:38:28.560 |
You know, I think we all would like sometimes 00:38:35.480 |
You've never been able to control what other people say. 00:38:37.800 |
And I'll tell you what, if you wanna be humbled, 00:38:40.260 |
just go on the internet and read what they say about you. 00:38:43.840 |
Don't do it if you're not ready to be humbled. 00:38:49.280 |
You have no control whatsoever over what other people say, 00:38:56.860 |
The only thing you can control is what you do. 00:39:00.800 |
And what happens is that there are always people 00:39:10.340 |
You can always find somebody telling lies about you. 00:39:18.220 |
and they'll appreciate the things that you actually do. 00:39:24.360 |
to be criticized, if you're going to face mocking, 00:39:39.720 |
And again, for those of you who aren't Bible readers, 00:39:54.000 |
of the 12 disciples of Jesus when Jesus was walking around 00:39:58.220 |
and followed by his disciples and teaching publicly 00:40:07.020 |
And he was very, very, very, well, he wrote two letters, 00:40:12.660 |
He also basically was responsible for the content 00:40:23.900 |
But one of these two letters, in the book of 1 Peter, 00:40:42.560 |
"Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles 00:40:49.180 |
"Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, 00:40:52.680 |
"so that when they speak against you as evildoers, 00:40:55.360 |
"they may see your good deeds and glorify God 00:40:59.480 |
And then a few verses later, Peter writes this. 00:41:01.400 |
He says, "For what credit is it if when you sin 00:41:08.140 |
"But if when you do good and suffer for it, you endure. 00:41:11.800 |
"This is a gracious thing in the sight of God. 00:41:21.300 |
"He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 00:41:25.060 |
"When he was reviled, he did not revile in return. 00:41:30.760 |
"but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly." 00:42:01.820 |
Now, here are some things that you need to be aware of. 00:42:05.360 |
Just number one, you think it's a small thing. 00:42:08.960 |
A classic blackmail scheme against powerful men 00:42:34.580 |
thus setting up an opportunity for blackmail. 00:42:37.620 |
This has been a consistent, consistent thing. 00:42:42.780 |
and you'll find that's a classic blackmail scheme. 00:42:48.940 |
the more important that it is that you be careful. 00:42:59.960 |
and then it's gonna be, well, what's your reputation? 00:43:02.560 |
And back to, just a moment, so this kind of practice, 00:43:09.040 |
It's important for you and it's important to protect 00:43:11.440 |
those with whom you interact, is to be careful. 00:43:17.120 |
with someone of the opposite sex to whom you're not married. 00:43:24.960 |
although frankly, you can't control yourself. 00:43:29.580 |
when they allow themselves to walk down that path, 00:43:33.520 |
just halfway, better men than you and I have fallen. 00:43:43.600 |
So I was amazed, this created the big news of, 00:43:48.280 |
when Mike Pence, it's called the Billy Graham rule, 00:43:58.120 |
And so Mike Pence became known a few months ago 00:44:07.800 |
Vice President Mike Pence, he was destroyed in the press 00:44:14.560 |
this is the same kind of constant male patriarchy 00:44:22.980 |
because they're not gonna be there in the inside deals. 00:44:25.980 |
And I was amazed after the Harvey Weinstein account 00:44:42.640 |
David Schwimmer was such a good man that they were, 00:44:44.760 |
she was, journalist, she was doing an interview over dinner 00:44:53.280 |
would you like to go up to my room to finish the interview 00:44:55.560 |
and I'll make sure that somebody else is there. 00:44:57.760 |
And she just thought that was so sweet and so thoughtful. 00:45:00.560 |
It was sweet and it was thoughtful and it was important. 00:45:08.760 |
If they like you, they'll stick up and say, hey, it's great. 00:45:19.080 |
What you can do is, what you can do is protect yourself. 00:45:28.280 |
that you put the habits into place around the office. 00:45:31.040 |
Make sure that you have a window on your office 00:45:36.840 |
Make sure that if you're gonna meet with somebody, 00:45:45.680 |
If you need to meet with somebody in private, 00:45:47.560 |
bring a trusted compatriot with you, a trusted confidant. 00:46:01.120 |
Anyway, I don't need to go into more and more, 00:46:11.680 |
If you're a person of prominence, personally, 00:46:19.560 |
But it's really hard to see how it's possible to do that. 00:46:25.520 |
I'm very much looking forward for when my oldest child 00:46:34.260 |
Now, obviously, that fits into my goal of benefits for him, 00:46:37.440 |
my oldest son, or my daughter when she's old enough. 00:46:39.800 |
I want them to be with me in adult situations 00:46:42.040 |
so that they can have perspective on the world 00:46:48.280 |
It's good protection for me to have my children with me. 00:46:51.200 |
And if you are a person of public prominence, 00:47:00.240 |
you should spend the extra money not to travel alone. 00:47:09.120 |
But make sure there's somebody there with you 00:47:29.400 |
and probably many women, I don't know, but for men, 00:47:32.260 |
is the place where they indulge the lust of the flesh 00:47:43.160 |
So when traveling, avoid difficult situations 00:48:06.600 |
It's worth it when you can walk in the front door 00:48:18.760 |
One thing that helps me is I always look at my daughter. 00:48:24.840 |
And it's funny, actually, as I wrote these notes, 00:48:29.160 |
she woke up from her nap a little earlier today. 00:48:31.200 |
She woke up from her nap, and she was sitting in my lap, 00:48:34.240 |
and I always look at my daughter, and I just think, 00:48:44.840 |
sweet, innocent little girls, never known anything wrong. 00:48:51.000 |
was once somebody's little girl, and probably still is. 00:49:02.600 |
the way that these men are treating this woman right now? 00:49:20.480 |
It's another thing to see them as somebody's little girl. 00:49:23.280 |
I don't want my little girl in that situation, 00:49:26.520 |
so why should I treat somebody else's little girl like that? 00:49:31.520 |
If you don't have a daughter, consider a niece, 00:49:36.680 |
and look at the innocence of a beautiful little baby girl, 00:49:48.680 |
So whatever you've got to do to protect yourself 00:49:54.140 |
Spend the extra money to meet someone at a restaurant. 00:49:57.540 |
In today's world, especially in the modern business climate, 00:50:00.640 |
I think it's best for you to keep your mouth shut 00:50:12.880 |
for why you want to meet them in a public place 00:50:45.360 |
I guess I've ruined it with recording a show, 00:50:51.440 |
with a female business companion or coworker, 00:50:58.800 |
but just, you can be the loner if you need to. 00:51:03.600 |
But spend the extra money, do whatever's necessary, 00:51:14.240 |
Alcohol leads to poor decision-making and poor judgment. 00:51:17.800 |
And don't risk it, especially when you're vulnerable 00:51:23.280 |
You spend enough time in business hotels and business bars, 00:51:26.360 |
and you will see this cycle again and again and again. 00:51:37.760 |
Well, when he's on his trip, he can hang out and be alone. 00:51:41.440 |
He can be with the guys and have a good time. 00:51:44.000 |
He's got beautiful coworkers that he can hang out with 00:51:46.120 |
who are fun, who are smart, who are intelligent. 00:52:12.540 |
and don't destroy your financial life with your infidelity. 00:52:16.180 |
You cannot say no when you're 50% down that road. 00:52:22.320 |
You've got to say no when you're 0% down that road. 00:52:33.600 |
you're the one, different business situations are difficult, 00:52:36.880 |
but if abstaining totally is problematic, have one drink. 00:52:48.400 |
then go to the restroom, stop at the bar on your way back, 00:52:51.400 |
and get yourself a Coke, put a lime in it from the bar, 00:52:54.320 |
and keep that drink topped off from the bar directly. 00:52:57.560 |
Gives you an easy excuse to avoid more drinks, 00:53:07.280 |
Whatever you got to do, put those things in place. 00:53:17.360 |
so that you're able to stand when you're tempted 00:53:21.520 |
I was deeply addicted to pornography during my teenage years 00:53:24.280 |
and it has caused me years, years of problems, 00:53:32.880 |
it's the number one addiction in our modern world today, 00:53:39.760 |
Pornography at use and the associated masturbation 00:53:45.640 |
pleasure pathways that are reliably associated 00:53:48.900 |
with a perfect release at the end of the process, 00:54:06.560 |
I'm gonna skip the three-hour talk on this subject, 00:54:21.440 |
Pornography destroys good sex between husbands and wives. 00:54:44.700 |
that's been done about sexual practice among teenagers. 00:54:49.700 |
There's so much research that's been done on this subject 00:55:03.660 |
because their teenage boyfriends want them to do 00:55:15.780 |
is devoted to the sexual pleasure of a woman. 00:55:22.540 |
to the sexual titillation of a man with imagery, 00:55:27.420 |
and it causes men to have these just utterly, 00:55:38.220 |
and you wanna talk about the financial impact 00:56:02.180 |
that that is not the way that men treat women, 00:56:15.980 |
I've been there, I know, and I'm so thankful. 00:56:20.700 |
I'm so thankful that God delivered me from it, 00:56:40.420 |
and it says, "Joshua, you're taking the stand," 00:56:41.980 |
and I fear, I fear being put back into that place 00:56:54.300 |
that allows me to even talk on this stuff publicly, 00:56:57.820 |
but don't let it happen, and so, men, get help. 00:57:08.900 |
and the other thing that's just so utterly destructive, 00:57:13.620 |
If you wanna cry, look at your little daughter, 00:57:15.980 |
and then go and start reading about the women 00:57:23.900 |
and you wanna portray yourself as somebody upright, 00:57:29.420 |
somebody who desires for justice and righteousness, 00:57:33.460 |
and you wanna destroy lives with your consumption, 00:57:38.100 |
'cause I have to constantly preach to myself. 00:57:56.740 |
is very, very tough, so build fences around yourself. 00:58:08.580 |
I can't imagine, if you think I'm laboring too long 00:58:27.820 |
so you're not sitting in a hotel room bored silly. 00:58:40.500 |
or walk in the room and unplug the TV first thing 00:58:53.620 |
their phone or another phone, an iPad or an iPod Touch 00:58:56.740 |
or something to the Wi-Fi, and immediately set up 00:59:00.700 |
Think about how that, if you wanna talk about 00:59:05.140 |
just let her know you care, and that you're putting 00:59:12.540 |
and your children, and gives you greater accountability. 00:59:17.340 |
If the phone's a problem, take a backup phone. 00:59:19.780 |
Leave your smartphone and your computer locked in the car. 00:59:25.820 |
Whatever you've gotta do, put software on your phone, 00:59:27.780 |
your computer, whatever you've gotta do, protect yourself. 00:59:31.260 |
And the higher you go, the more you must protect yourself. 00:59:41.700 |
and you come to a place of prominence, of effectiveness, 00:59:45.460 |
you will attract to yourself a retinue of enemies, 00:59:48.700 |
and you must not give your enemies even a shred of ammo. 01:00:02.420 |
one of the most troubling questions to me in today's world 01:00:13.180 |
'cause it seems like the normal, natural things 01:00:24.980 |
and I look at the men and I don't see any father figures 01:00:27.680 |
in their life, and I wanna, to bring them along, 01:00:31.100 |
and I wanna help them, and I wanna do things with them 01:00:35.700 |
And I constantly face this question of what do I do? 01:00:49.460 |
who have probably never been on a camping trip, 01:00:58.360 |
who've probably never, how do I do things for these boys? 01:01:05.440 |
where everyone's looking for the homosexual predator. 01:01:08.220 |
And I don't know the answers, I really don't. 01:01:12.340 |
I talk with my wife about it, and I just say, 01:01:14.180 |
how do we, it's tough because on the one hand, 01:01:23.980 |
and on the other hand, if you even open your mouth 01:01:26.360 |
and talk about the fact that you're trying to do this, 01:01:28.220 |
and everybody says, well, you're a prude, and what? 01:01:40.360 |
and now the next thing you know, you're being destroyed. 01:01:45.740 |
and I don't know the right answers from some of that. 01:02:13.720 |
I will not let that become something that turns, 01:02:27.160 |
I will not let that whole thing be sexualized 01:02:34.320 |
that anybody cares about is ultimate erotic freedom 01:02:36.980 |
until all of a sudden they turn on you and say, 01:02:43.940 |
and the important things of life be destroyed by that, 01:03:03.360 |
There was a neighbor of mine who was this older guy. 01:03:32.800 |
He was the old-fashioned kind of just good guy. 01:03:57.520 |
I'd hang out and work in his garden with him. 01:03:59.360 |
He was the guy who taught me to raise rabbits, 01:04:06.120 |
and he taught me all kinds of interesting things. 01:04:11.520 |
did he try to teach me about anything inappropriate. 01:04:38.160 |
but I guess the show has just been personal enough 01:04:53.080 |
the allegation, proven or not, evidence or not, 01:05:20.120 |
but let me just read for you from Ephesians 5. 01:05:23.720 |
this is another letter written by the Apostle Paul, 01:05:28.800 |
"Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children, 01:05:41.440 |
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness 01:05:51.520 |
Let there be no filthiness, nor foolish talk, 01:06:01.880 |
that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure 01:06:06.720 |
has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 01:06:13.160 |
the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 01:06:32.360 |
And try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 01:06:35.080 |
Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, 01:06:41.400 |
For it is shameful even to speak of the things 01:06:52.000 |
"and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." 01:07:16.280 |
singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 01:07:18.960 |
giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father 01:07:23.360 |
submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 01:07:43.100 |
is just so many of these women have come forward. 01:07:47.340 |
where are the men who are gonna stand up and act like men? 01:08:02.220 |
How do those fathers look at themselves in their face 01:08:06.160 |
when they send their daughter in that situation 01:08:09.200 |
and then she becomes a victim of a great evil 01:08:31.700 |
but we had better not fail the women that we care about. 01:08:48.980 |
I don't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing, 01:08:59.740 |
There was a day when a father would go and deal with that, 01:09:18.620 |
or a desire and indicate your desire to protect her. 01:09:25.660 |
Now, I'm not saying that you should go and get a shotgun, 01:09:32.140 |
and make sure that if there's a woman in your life 01:09:40.420 |
and that you're gonna deal with whatever needs to be done 01:09:55.340 |
I hope it's been clear that allegations are important, 01:10:00.340 |
and my job, especially for somebody who's a politician, 01:10:11.460 |
if he's close to me, but I'm not gonna go out 01:10:14.340 |
but I will be the first to roast someone like Roy Moore 01:10:19.340 |
and hold him accountable 'cause that's my job 01:10:24.100 |
is to hold those accountable who are near me, 01:10:31.460 |
in the sense that the allegations, if they're true, 01:10:36.460 |
those allegations against him were a long time ago. 01:10:46.020 |
because I don't wanna see you become successful 01:10:47.820 |
in the future and then have a skeleton from your past, 01:10:50.740 |
a sin from your past come out and destroy you. 01:10:53.220 |
What do you do if you've committed sin in the past? 01:10:56.700 |
What do you do if there's something in your life 01:11:31.820 |
If you've wronged somebody, you need to go back 01:11:34.500 |
and you need to apologize to the people that you've wronged, 01:11:36.980 |
ask for their forgiveness, and you need to go back 01:11:39.580 |
and do anything you can to restore what's right. 01:11:43.820 |
If you stole money, you can go back and make restitution 01:11:48.700 |
If you took a life, you can't bring life back. 01:11:53.660 |
If there's crime, you need to go and submit yourself 01:11:57.180 |
to the governing authorities and confess your crime 01:12:08.900 |
I wanna say publicly, but not always necessarily publicly, 01:12:14.260 |
One of the biggest issues that I have with modern, 01:12:24.540 |
is we've adopted this myth that somehow repentance 01:12:29.020 |
well, I'm sorry, God, and that absolves everything. 01:12:36.500 |
from any sin before God that you committed in the past, 01:12:50.100 |
and it's impossible for you to ever fully repent 01:12:53.140 |
of every single sin, but if there's something 01:12:56.620 |
that's on your conscience, go and repent and make it right. 01:13:03.660 |
to make restitution lest you stand before God 01:13:09.720 |
The foremost foundation of Christian conversion 01:13:32.060 |
and that failure is reflected into my own shame 01:13:49.780 |
and preach from a pulpit, and all of a sudden, 01:13:51.740 |
it turned out to be engaging in sexual immorality 01:13:55.580 |
with whomever, trying to be careful with my language. 01:14:09.740 |
the consequences of it in coming generations. 01:14:23.020 |
has somehow decided that repentance is optional 01:14:28.580 |
that doesn't violate the fact that repentance 01:14:43.420 |
but if there's sin in your life from the past 01:14:52.740 |
if there's infidelity, if there's those things, 01:14:57.860 |
Otherwise, I guarantee you, your sin will find you out. 01:15:08.420 |
or getting ready to go and release your great new movie, 01:15:21.380 |
so that you can somehow get more money and be richer. 01:15:28.540 |
Though it cost you everything, every dollar you have, 01:15:36.240 |
If you used a corporation and you abused people, 01:15:46.220 |
because it's far better to be completely penniless 01:15:55.960 |
and stand before God with a clear conscience, 01:16:10.140 |
In 500 episodes of "Radical Personal Finance," 01:16:24.260 |
I'm seeking to speak intensely because it's that important. 01:16:28.240 |
And if you want proof of it, open up your newspaper. 01:16:38.620 |
and though God may judge the modern Christian church 01:17:02.640 |
If Judge Roy Moore is guilty of what is alleged against him, 01:17:09.080 |
just watch how God's using a staff of reporters 01:17:20.460 |
which if, maybe there's a believer somewhere in that group, 01:17:24.740 |
but if there is, I don't know how they keep their job. 01:17:28.180 |
Look at how God is using the non-believing secular people 01:17:35.780 |
to expose the sin of the professing Christian, 01:17:43.980 |
with my judgments I've said all the way through. 01:18:00.060 |
the shame that the church members and the friends 01:18:12.000 |
God will use just about anybody to accomplish his purposes. 01:18:20.780 |
but if you don't stand up, he'll go use someone else, 01:18:25.580 |
and if you don't fix it, if you don't confess it 01:18:41.580 |
and turn towards God and ask him for his forgiveness. 01:19:07.880 |
are proven to be true, think about the destruction 01:19:10.560 |
on his family, his wife, his children, his grandchildren. 01:20:21.200 |
If there's something in your past, I beg you, repent. 01:20:26.800 |
Confess to your wife, confess to your husband, 01:20:41.360 |
I hope, I pray that these allegations against Moore are wrong. 01:20:47.840 |
'Cause it's just such a deep shame if they're proven right. 01:20:54.160 |
to find out when somebody is out preaching publicly 01:21:00.640 |
It's hard to think of a deeper shame than hypocrisy. 01:21:11.960 |
I don't wanna see Harvey Weinstein's marriage 01:21:37.160 |
I think every generation before us has felt that. 01:21:49.960 |
by what standard modern sexual activity is judged. 01:21:56.800 |
I pretend, I say, okay, pretend I'm an atheist, 01:21:59.960 |
pretend I'm a progressive, pretend I'm a feminist, 01:22:03.160 |
pretend I'm these things and I just think and I study. 01:22:06.200 |
And you know what, there are a lot of criticisms 01:22:13.040 |
but then I go back and I say, by what standard? 01:22:17.560 |
And the only standard that I can come up with today 01:22:20.960 |
Like that seems to be, in terms of the religious doctrine 01:22:35.280 |
consenting adults who are engaged in the sexual activity, 01:22:49.520 |
So it seems to me that you're supposed to be able 01:23:05.560 |
I read an article by a guy, I guess he was a cook, 01:23:12.480 |
And I guess he's a celebrity in the world of cooking. 01:23:15.680 |
And this article, he was talking about a sexual assault 01:23:24.000 |
he went on a trip with a Baptist church group. 01:23:31.040 |
were in their room, in like the camp room one night, 01:23:38.800 |
and took a shower, came out of the shower naked 01:23:47.400 |
stood at the end of their bed for 15 minutes naked 01:23:50.920 |
with an erect penis reading the Bible to them. 01:23:55.360 |
and I don't see any reason to doubt his account, 01:24:00.720 |
perishing and shameful that that would happen. 01:24:14.080 |
that that would happen on a Baptist church group 01:24:23.640 |
who was just coming along 'cause a friend said, 01:24:25.520 |
"You can come along on this fun church group. 01:24:28.360 |
They'll pressure you a little bit to believe." 01:24:31.000 |
So it's so shameful, but I thought about that. 01:24:37.240 |
Now, it's entirely improper and it shouldn't happen. 01:24:43.200 |
It's entirely immodest, but is it sexual assault? 01:25:04.760 |
if I'm walking down Bourbon Street in New Orleans 01:25:11.520 |
because hold on, it's genitalia sexual assault. 01:25:18.200 |
but displaying breasts, that's a matter of feminism, right? 01:25:27.000 |
then women should be able to take their shirt off too 01:25:31.100 |
the flashing of breasts is not sexual assault 01:25:42.160 |
but I don't even know how to figure out this stuff. 01:25:47.160 |
And after all, if that makes that person happy 01:25:56.920 |
of their happiness and their erotic fulfillment, right? 01:26:00.560 |
And I thought about this in regards to the age of consent, 01:26:04.960 |
right, 'cause the allegations against Judge Moore 01:26:08.240 |
are about, the allegations are that he pressed himself, 01:26:17.260 |
but he fondled a girl who was 14 and pressed himself on her. 01:26:26.140 |
or is the problem the consent or is the problem the age? 01:26:41.400 |
in our modern culture, modern secular culture, 01:26:45.400 |
This was a 14-year-old and allegedly with an older man. 01:26:52.280 |
An older man should not, there should be no sex. 01:27:12.660 |
but that's a little simpler way to figure it out. 01:27:15.540 |
So I thought about age of consent and I thought, 01:27:19.460 |
'cause a 32-year-old man and a 14-year-old girl, 01:27:23.720 |
and so can a 14-year-old girl accurately give herself, 01:27:27.240 |
give up control, accurately give herself up sexually 01:27:43.820 |
about their ability to give consent is questionable, 01:27:47.180 |
then why are we giving explicit sex education 01:28:02.660 |
if she actually wants to be with a 32-year-old man? 01:28:05.140 |
And if it's not right, then why is it not right? 01:28:07.380 |
But if her judgment is questionable about consent, 01:28:13.460 |
when I was 13 years old, I was a pretty big guy. 01:28:20.500 |
So if the age of consent is about fear and intimidation 01:28:24.460 |
then it shouldn't be based on size and coercion. 01:28:27.020 |
I never had sex when I was 13 years old, thank God. 01:28:30.100 |
But if I had, then the modern culture would say, 01:28:33.580 |
well, that's okay if you're with a 13-year-old girl. 01:28:39.700 |
I'm getting mixed up on my age, but you get the idea. 01:28:46.060 |
And why are we teaching children to have sex, 01:28:59.540 |
the number one biggest driver that I can discern 01:29:02.380 |
from the modern philosophy that is preached to me 01:29:05.380 |
is that whatever I wanna do in consent is fine. 01:29:08.460 |
Okay, then why would it be wrong for an older man 01:29:14.180 |
to have sexual contact if they're giving consent? 01:29:18.220 |
And especially if we consider that a 13-year-old boy 01:29:26.740 |
Anyway, no doubt I've backed myself into a corner here 01:29:50.180 |
So my plea for you, forgive me if I went off rambling, 01:30:01.180 |
And you'll enjoy the benefits of being protected 01:30:07.740 |
from having your career destroyed with sexual scandal. 01:30:16.380 |
expose it to the light so that it can be dealt with. 01:30:37.060 |
'Cause it will come out, and it will come out 01:30:47.780 |
I hope that, I've demonstrated that this does have 01:31:19.220 |
it seems like when I wind up reading Bible passages to you, 01:31:28.880 |
Because one of the things that is so important 01:31:32.980 |
is that the Bible talks about different sins. 01:31:47.780 |
with regard to the importance of things like greed 01:31:54.080 |
Bible says, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous 01:31:58.180 |
"Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral, 01:32:15.920 |
"And such were some of you, but you were washed, 01:32:24.760 |
in our modern kind of like super sexualized culture, 01:32:32.240 |
and I received an email filled with people saying, 01:32:35.040 |
"Joshua, how could you say that about homosexuals, 01:33:09.000 |
and condemn thievery and greediness and swindlers. 01:33:14.000 |
Our laws reflect it, our society reflects it as well. 01:33:21.860 |
That has been some hard work by people that came before 01:33:31.040 |
upright standards of righteousness and justice 01:33:33.920 |
as related to swindling and thieves and greedy people. 01:33:38.440 |
But today, our discussion somehow seems to be 01:33:44.480 |
related to sex and homosexuality and sexual immorality 01:33:56.840 |
is going to be an email filled with angry listeners. 01:34:29.920 |
and just focus on my wife and my children and my own life. 01:34:40.200 |
if you wonder why, and we often get the questions, 01:34:43.960 |
Christians, why do you Christians talk about sex so much? 01:34:47.560 |
I didn't put sex on the front page of the newspaper. 01:34:56.080 |
But I didn't put it on the front page of the newspaper. 01:35:04.640 |
I hope that you've sensed, just my heart for you, 01:35:08.840 |
my desire to, together, see justice accomplished, 01:35:25.400 |
and to see, collectively, to see us move forward 01:35:28.600 |
into lives filled with justice and with peace on all sides, 01:35:48.840 |
because it's the only thing that connects these things. 01:35:51.520 |
I wanna see you honored as an image-bearer of God. 01:35:57.720 |
And I wanna see your worth protected and respected, 01:36:02.200 |
and to see you honored and lifted up in dignity. 01:36:12.840 |
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