back to index

RPF0501-Protect_From_Sexual_Scandal


Whisper Transcript | Transcript Only Page

00:00:00.000 | Struggling with your electric bill?
00:00:02.560 | Get an energy assist from SDG&E and SAFE.
00:00:05.840 | You may qualify for an 18% discount.
00:00:09.320 | Visit SDGE.com/FERA to find out more.
00:00:14.320 | - Welcome to Radical Personal Finance,
00:00:17.200 | the show dedicated to providing you
00:00:18.480 | with the knowledge, skills, insight,
00:00:20.280 | and encouragement you need to live a rich
00:00:22.440 | and meaningful life now while building a plan
00:00:24.800 | for financial freedom in 10 years or less.
00:00:26.840 | My name is Joshua and I am your host.
00:00:29.560 | Today's episode of the show is going
00:00:30.800 | to be quite a challenging one.
00:00:33.400 | I had not intended to record a show this week at all.
00:00:36.840 | I've been working on delivering the beta version
00:00:39.320 | of the career and income guide
00:00:40.560 | that I'm working my way through.
00:00:41.840 | And I've been entirely focused on that
00:00:44.080 | and some of my end of the year plans.
00:00:45.440 | And so after episode 500, I was planning to take a break,
00:00:49.280 | but I feel I must record this show today.
00:00:52.120 | And so I'm doing it, but it's gonna be a difficult one
00:00:55.680 | and a very challenging one.
00:00:57.840 | Basically, my goal today is to share with you
00:01:01.040 | some thoughts and ideas about how to protect yourself
00:01:04.880 | and to protect your career from being,
00:01:07.840 | your entire financial life from being destroyed
00:01:10.960 | because of allegations of sexual misconduct,
00:01:14.920 | sexual scandal, sexual sin.
00:01:16.760 | That is my goal.
00:01:18.000 | Now, two quick upfront warnings as I begin today's show.
00:01:21.320 | Number one, most of Radical Personal Finance
00:01:25.120 | is consumable by the entire family.
00:01:28.240 | Today's episode is obviously related
00:01:31.240 | to adult topics and adult themes.
00:01:33.480 | So I would consider a show like this mandatory listening
00:01:37.520 | for any person of perhaps double digit age and older,
00:01:42.520 | but below double digits,
00:01:45.320 | this may be one that you should screen first
00:01:48.200 | and consider carefully whether or not
00:01:50.480 | this will be helpful to your children.
00:01:52.160 | So if you're accustomed to living
00:01:53.480 | or listening to the show with your children,
00:01:55.000 | I recommend that you skip to a different show
00:01:57.360 | and enjoy that one today
00:02:00.040 | and then screen this one privately.
00:02:02.600 | Number two, if you are one who prefers your discussion
00:02:05.760 | of financial matters to be completely sanitized
00:02:09.280 | of religion, references to God and scripture,
00:02:14.200 | any reading of any kind from the Bible,
00:02:16.260 | this will be a show that you will want to skip
00:02:18.400 | and move on to a different show
00:02:20.400 | because there is no possible way
00:02:23.060 | to accurately deal with matters of sexual conduct
00:02:26.800 | without recognizing the source of moral law.
00:02:30.580 | So if you are in one of those two audiences,
00:02:34.600 | I'll pause for a moment so you can leave
00:02:36.560 | and we'll continue with the adults in the room.
00:02:40.280 | I guess a third comment would be that in my mind,
00:02:43.320 | I frankly don't often know how to speak to these things
00:02:48.320 | in a mixed audience of men and women.
00:02:52.080 | So for today's audience, my concern is men,
00:02:55.200 | not so much women.
00:02:56.840 | I'll allow someone else who feels the grace
00:02:59.560 | to speak to an audience of women about these issues.
00:03:02.120 | I am not capable of that.
00:03:03.920 | So for today, I know that the main audience
00:03:05.800 | of Radical Personal Finance is primarily male
00:03:08.240 | and I do feel qualified to speak to men.
00:03:09.960 | I don't feel qualified to speak to women.
00:03:11.680 | So if you're listening in,
00:03:13.360 | just know that you're listening in
00:03:15.080 | and for the purpose of today's show,
00:03:16.880 | I can't accurately deal with these things
00:03:21.000 | in a mixed sex company.
00:03:22.960 | So feel free to listen in,
00:03:24.720 | but just recognize that from here forward,
00:03:26.400 | I'm intentionally speaking to men.
00:03:28.680 | Probably the first episode in 500 in which I have done that,
00:03:32.240 | but in today's episode, I believe I must.
00:03:35.260 | I did not intend, as I said, I think I said,
00:03:38.240 | I didn't intend to record a show today.
00:03:40.200 | I've been focusing on other projects, but I feel I must.
00:03:43.280 | And let me explain a little bit why.
00:03:45.800 | No doubt over the last few weeks,
00:03:47.040 | you have observed that
00:03:50.040 | people are crumbling,
00:03:51.840 | that careers have been crumbling,
00:03:54.600 | and it seems to be a tsunami
00:03:57.640 | of new allegations every day,
00:04:00.280 | of sexual misconduct, sexual abuse,
00:04:03.200 | just new allegations every single day.
00:04:05.360 | I saw a tweet as I'm recording this,
00:04:06.600 | it's Friday afternoon, November 10, 2017 at 3.17 PM.
00:04:11.600 | How's that for a timestamp?
00:04:13.520 | And I noticed a tweet yesterday
00:04:15.600 | from the front page editor of the Huffington Post
00:04:17.720 | who said that nine of the front page stories
00:04:20.960 | were with regard to explosive allegations
00:04:25.400 | of sexual misconduct towards well-known people.
00:04:28.640 | And in fact, they had 10 stories,
00:04:30.040 | but they had to bump one of those stories
00:04:33.360 | off of the front page
00:04:35.160 | because there were others of a bigger one.
00:04:38.200 | And what's been fascinating to me
00:04:40.320 | has been to watch these things develop
00:04:43.560 | in the media context.
00:04:46.920 | And I have watched this now, of course,
00:04:48.640 | with you, I'm sure, for the last,
00:04:51.000 | I don't know, has it been a week, month, a month or so?
00:04:54.320 | Been watching these things happening.
00:04:56.240 | And amazingly, there's been tremendous
00:05:00.480 | financial repercussions for the people
00:05:02.320 | who are experiencing these allegations
00:05:06.000 | and who are being,
00:05:07.320 | or is being alleged that they've
00:05:08.840 | engaged in sexual misconduct.
00:05:12.480 | And so there's been tremendous financial hardship.
00:05:14.400 | So of course, me being the host of "Rumor, the Daily,"
00:05:16.800 | I'm the host of "Radical Personal Finance,"
00:05:17.880 | I watch these things and I notice and I say,
00:05:19.160 | "Oh, I could do a show about that."
00:05:20.680 | And I've stayed away from it.
00:05:22.080 | I've really stayed away from it.
00:05:23.320 | And I've thought about the show.
00:05:25.280 | I've built the whole thing in my head,
00:05:27.120 | but I haven't wanted to do it.
00:05:29.080 | And the reason I haven't wanted to do it
00:05:30.320 | is because most of the people who have been exposed,
00:05:33.960 | most of the people who are receiving allegations
00:05:37.720 | from people that they've allegedly abused
00:05:40.240 | have been people that I just don't have much in common with.
00:05:43.880 | I don't have any significant scenario.
00:05:48.200 | And I have often felt like it would be wrong for me to come
00:05:52.160 | and if it's just somebody like Harvey Weinstein,
00:05:54.920 | a very liberal person involved in an industry
00:05:59.360 | that I don't think much of,
00:06:00.920 | that it would be wrong for me to just come
00:06:02.320 | and use him as an example.
00:06:04.960 | The Bible teaches in the book of Proverbs,
00:06:07.220 | it says, "Do not rejoice," where is it?
00:06:10.500 | "Do not rejoice when your enemy falls.
00:06:12.560 | Let not your heart be glad when he stumbles.
00:06:15.120 | Lest the Lord see it and be displeased
00:06:16.840 | and turn away his anger from him."
00:06:19.440 | So I think it's very important.
00:06:20.520 | And I always try to make sure,
00:06:21.520 | I don't wanna be rejoicing when my enemy falls.
00:06:25.120 | I don't wanna let my heart be glad when somebody stumbles.
00:06:30.120 | And I'm deeply concerned with our current conversation
00:06:34.800 | because it seems as though that's the first inclination,
00:06:38.400 | or at least when you do a survey
00:06:40.360 | of the way people speak publicly in their Twitter feeds
00:06:43.400 | or in their Facebook feeds,
00:06:44.760 | it's almost like we rejoice when our political enemies fall.
00:06:48.080 | And I think this is such a destructive,
00:06:50.000 | it's just such a destructive standard.
00:06:55.280 | And I don't wanna be participating in it.
00:06:58.360 | I really don't.
00:06:59.200 | And so as these people have come out
00:07:01.720 | and these allegations have come out,
00:07:03.120 | I just felt like it would be in poor taste
00:07:05.180 | and wrong of me to attach it,
00:07:09.280 | to attack this subject.
00:07:11.440 | That is until yesterday
00:07:12.960 | when an explosive Washington Post article was published
00:07:17.440 | with allegations of sexual misconduct
00:07:20.320 | on behalf of Judge Roy Moore,
00:07:22.400 | a man who is running for Senate in the state of Alabama,
00:07:25.640 | a man who is widely touted as a Christian,
00:07:29.320 | a man who has been very vocal
00:07:31.840 | in his defense of his interpretation
00:07:37.000 | of biblical Christianity,
00:07:38.620 | specifically on moral issues.
00:07:40.960 | That has been a hallmark of his career.
00:07:43.440 | He was a judge in the state of Alabama,
00:07:46.680 | twice thrown out of office under ethics obligations
00:07:51.580 | because he stood up for what he believed
00:07:53.440 | is a moral situation,
00:07:56.040 | just a firebrand of a figure,
00:07:57.660 | and then an absolutely explosive article yesterday.
00:08:02.160 | And so I felt like one of the things
00:08:04.440 | that's very important to me is
00:08:06.620 | we should deal with the things that are near us.
00:08:10.780 | We should be the ones who deal with the sin
00:08:13.840 | that is in our circles.
00:08:15.200 | We have no right to go across town, as an example.
00:08:18.800 | We have no right to go across town
00:08:20.840 | and try to point out all of the problems in somebody else
00:08:24.280 | until we've dealt with the problems
00:08:26.640 | that are in our own life, in our own families,
00:08:29.060 | in our own local church, in our own community,
00:08:30.940 | in our own city.
00:08:32.320 | And I build this on Jesus' teaching.
00:08:34.560 | He said, "Don't go and point out the speck
00:08:37.360 | "in your neighbor's eye until you deal with the log
00:08:39.840 | "that's in your own eye."
00:08:41.100 | The idea is we can all see things
00:08:42.580 | that are wrong with other people,
00:08:43.880 | but let's not be those who just start
00:08:45.680 | with things that are over there.
00:08:47.420 | And so it was on that basis that I said,
00:08:50.020 | "You know what, I think that we should always be the first
00:08:54.060 | "to deal with the community that's near us."
00:08:56.460 | I've tried to approach it in this way.
00:08:57.780 | If I'm a financial advisor,
00:08:59.940 | I need to be the one who's dealing with the misconduct
00:09:02.780 | in the community of financial advice
00:09:04.600 | and bringing justice to that community
00:09:07.360 | to the extent that I can.
00:09:08.860 | It's not my job to go and solve Hollywood.
00:09:11.420 | I don't have any contact with Hollywood,
00:09:14.060 | but I need to deal with what's in
00:09:15.740 | the financial advice industry,
00:09:17.540 | or I need to deal with what's near at hand.
00:09:19.920 | And I think often, so often, we miss this,
00:09:22.160 | and it leads to just our aimlessly
00:09:24.180 | whacking about with our ideas,
00:09:26.100 | constantly just trying to find fault in other people.
00:09:29.700 | Yes, it's good to see those things.
00:09:31.720 | That's fine, but let's spend some time,
00:09:34.860 | let's not be so blind to the problems that are near us.
00:09:38.560 | And so if I expect the Hollywood community
00:09:43.560 | to deal with Harvey Weinstein,
00:09:47.380 | then I should be one to stand up and not be silent
00:09:50.660 | when there are allegations against somebody
00:09:52.860 | like Judge Roy Moore.
00:09:54.380 | I have a responsibility to speak clearly to the subject.
00:10:01.020 | Now, my concern is I don't know if, frankly,
00:10:04.420 | any of these people are guilty.
00:10:06.140 | I don't know if Judge Roy Moore is guilty
00:10:09.660 | of what is alleged against him.
00:10:12.120 | I don't know if Harvey Weinstein is guilty
00:10:14.940 | of what's alleged against him.
00:10:16.560 | I don't know if Bill O'Reilly is guilty
00:10:18.700 | of what's alleged against him.
00:10:19.920 | I don't know if Kevin Spacey is guilty
00:10:21.960 | of what's alleged against him.
00:10:23.040 | How would I know?
00:10:23.900 | How could I possibly know?
00:10:25.840 | All I know is what's reported.
00:10:28.380 | Unfortunately, I've lost significant confidence
00:10:31.260 | over the last five years
00:10:32.340 | in the way that things are reported.
00:10:34.540 | And I can judge based upon what's reported,
00:10:37.580 | and I can think, is this accurate?
00:10:39.200 | Is this thoughtful?
00:10:40.040 | Is this accurate?
00:10:40.880 | But I don't actually know what's happened.
00:10:45.020 | And I believe that one of the things we should do
00:10:48.160 | is continue our practice of believing
00:10:53.160 | that people are innocent until they're proven guilty.
00:10:57.300 | So I don't know if Moore or any of these people are guilty.
00:11:00.740 | It's impossible for me to discern.
00:11:03.100 | But I do want to see justice brought.
00:11:04.940 | And if they are guilty, I want to see justice brought.
00:11:08.700 | And if they're innocent, I want to see justice brought.
00:11:11.860 | And this is very challenging,
00:11:14.320 | because we need to make sure that we listen carefully
00:11:17.360 | to the victims of crimes and the victims of immorality.
00:11:22.260 | Unfortunately, I think most of us,
00:11:24.100 | we've been guilty in the past
00:11:25.980 | of not listening carefully to victims.
00:11:28.220 | When somebody says, "I've been victimized,"
00:11:30.360 | we should stop everything and listen very, very carefully.
00:11:34.700 | But I don't think we should believe every victim's story.
00:11:40.620 | We should look for evidence, and we should look for proof,
00:11:43.820 | and we should be open.
00:11:45.300 | And if there is guilt,
00:11:46.660 | we must follow through consistently with that guilt.
00:11:50.380 | Bible says in Proverbs 18,
00:11:52.180 | "The one who states his case first seems right
00:11:55.380 | until the other one comes and examines him."
00:11:58.860 | And so one of the things that's important
00:12:00.740 | is for us to hear fully facts and not jump to conclusions.
00:12:05.740 | We should hear fully facts, we should hear fully evidence,
00:12:08.860 | and then we should allow those
00:12:10.060 | who are close enough to the situation
00:12:11.920 | to seek to bring justice.
00:12:14.000 | No matter the cost, justice must be brought.
00:12:19.020 | Criminals, no matter whether we like them,
00:12:21.820 | whether we don't, I like Judge Moore.
00:12:24.180 | Doesn't matter.
00:12:25.300 | If he's guilty of that, I'll be the first,
00:12:28.060 | and I should be the first.
00:12:29.580 | I'll be the first to stand up and condemn
00:12:32.100 | and say justice needs to be brought.
00:12:35.160 | But we should also be careful.
00:12:37.480 | We wanna make sure that we have
00:12:38.660 | multiple witnesses of something.
00:12:40.620 | We wanna make sure that there's good evidence,
00:12:42.460 | and we wanna make sure that we don't just jump in
00:12:44.720 | with what's politically expedient,
00:12:46.660 | that we don't defend somebody without hearing facts,
00:12:49.680 | nor that we automatically come against somebody
00:12:52.620 | without hearing facts.
00:12:53.620 | And I fear so much for the coming decades
00:12:56.180 | because we're separating into these tribal groupings,
00:13:00.180 | and things that we would find utterly abhorrent
00:13:04.340 | if our political opponent did it,
00:13:07.020 | we jump to it when it gives us a place for power,
00:13:09.380 | and vice versa, and I think we're all guilty of that.
00:13:13.100 | And I don't wanna do that.
00:13:14.500 | The Bible teaches in the book of Exodus,
00:13:15.740 | it says you shall not fall in with the many to do evil.
00:13:19.820 | Do not fall in with the many to evil,
00:13:21.540 | nor shall you bear witness in a lawsuit.
00:13:23.420 | Siding with the many so as to pervert justice.
00:13:25.980 | Even if you're one person standing against thousands,
00:13:29.900 | stand for what's right, no matter the cost.
00:13:32.920 | So, that's my heart to start with,
00:13:38.260 | is I wanna see justice brought,
00:13:41.460 | and I wanna see righteousness done,
00:13:44.220 | and the victims, restitution brought to victims
00:13:49.220 | if there are victims,
00:13:50.660 | but also I don't wanna see justice perverted
00:13:52.580 | for political expediency,
00:13:53.900 | and I think that's the danger that we face.
00:13:56.220 | So, let's be the first to check ourselves.
00:13:59.340 | And so, I ask you, if you are a conservative person,
00:14:03.940 | let's use this, I hate these words,
00:14:05.220 | conservative and liberal,
00:14:06.500 | but they're effective enough for now.
00:14:08.400 | If you're a conservative person,
00:14:10.300 | if you're on the political right,
00:14:12.060 | did you celebrate when Harvey Weinstein,
00:14:15.300 | a leading Democrat donor, and behind the scenes guy,
00:14:21.040 | on the left was found out and exposed,
00:14:25.500 | and these allegations come against him publicly,
00:14:27.420 | did you rejoice, did you celebrate?
00:14:29.580 | And if you're on the left,
00:14:32.120 | and have a tendency towards a liberal perspective,
00:14:36.320 | did you celebrate when you heard that Judge Roy Moore,
00:14:41.320 | an open, loud mouth bigot, according to some,
00:14:46.400 | was accused of assault?
00:14:48.100 | Did you celebrate when you said,
00:14:49.160 | "Ha ha, we finally got him?"
00:14:50.720 | I hope you didn't.
00:14:54.320 | In fact, if you're listening to Radical Personal Finance,
00:14:56.040 | I bet you didn't.
00:14:57.480 | I don't know how you could listen to this show
00:14:58.680 | and celebrate, but I know a whole lot of people did,
00:15:01.440 | and we need to be those who don't do that.
00:15:03.520 | We need to be those who seek for justice and for truth,
00:15:07.680 | no matter the cost, justice and truth,
00:15:11.980 | but not celebrate, don't rejoice when your enemy falls,
00:15:16.200 | and don't let your heart be glad when he stumbles.
00:15:19.700 | Now, that's a bit of preamble,
00:15:21.740 | and I didn't know any other way to start the show,
00:15:23.700 | but my major focus in today's show
00:15:25.780 | is just to talk about you and me,
00:15:27.820 | to talk about how you can protect yourself.
00:15:31.620 | And I guess I should, well,
00:15:34.160 | just to talk about how you can protect yourself.
00:15:36.300 | For the sake of clarity, here is my position, my worldview,
00:15:40.260 | and I'll state it very, very clearly.
00:15:42.160 | Sexual contact of any kind,
00:15:47.500 | between any people except one husband and one wife is wrong.
00:15:52.500 | That's the position that I hold.
00:15:57.580 | Sexual contact between any people
00:16:01.380 | except one husband and one wife is wrong.
00:16:05.280 | That's it.
00:16:07.740 | That is my entire outlook on human sexuality
00:16:11.820 | and what's appropriate.
00:16:12.920 | Now, I'll talk briefly at the end
00:16:17.220 | just about the very confusing situation that we face,
00:16:20.660 | but my hope is to help you avoid, excuse me,
00:16:24.260 | the confusing situation that we face in our modern era
00:16:27.020 | with very strange public sexual ethics.
00:16:30.940 | This is what is so strange to me about Hollywood.
00:16:34.340 | Seems like, I don't know, I don't watch many movies,
00:16:37.860 | I'm not that involved in that world.
00:16:39.580 | I watch it from a peripheral perspective
00:16:42.660 | and read the newspaper articles about it,
00:16:44.780 | but I'm not involved in Hollywood.
00:16:46.380 | But it sure seems to me like anything goes in Hollywood,
00:16:50.060 | or at least based upon what's recounted to me
00:16:52.380 | of modern popular Hollywood culture,
00:16:54.460 | it seems as though you can do just about anything,
00:16:56.780 | you can depict just about anything.
00:16:58.540 | And it seems like it's, whether it's in Hollywood movies
00:17:02.820 | or whether it's on HBO, I mean,
00:17:05.140 | from what I'm told, "Game of Thrones"
00:17:07.280 | is one of the most abusive, sexually charged
00:17:11.180 | and abusive shows on television.
00:17:13.460 | And yet it also seems to be one of the most popular shows.
00:17:17.280 | I don't know how an industry that puts out that
00:17:20.920 | as a product, selling that as attractive.
00:17:24.660 | From my understanding, it's not,
00:17:28.600 | when abuse, especially sexual abuse is pictured,
00:17:32.080 | it's not pictured as something that's abhorrent,
00:17:36.000 | which it should be.
00:17:37.200 | Should be, if there's going to be something
00:17:39.480 | that is questionable, it should be pictured
00:17:41.920 | as the evil that it is.
00:17:43.640 | And the art of the movie should come against it
00:17:46.040 | so powerfully that you walk away from it
00:17:49.160 | with a clear moral understanding, not an ambiguity.
00:17:52.040 | There should be no ambiguity whatsoever.
00:17:54.400 | And I'm constantly, I'm amazed at how this industry
00:17:57.000 | is stands up and is opposing all of these,
00:18:02.080 | words fail me, 'cause very strong ones come to mind,
00:18:06.480 | all of these people who are alleged of sexual abuse.
00:18:11.480 | I'm constantly, I'm amazed at that.
00:18:14.100 | It's just incredible.
00:18:15.720 | It proves out what the Bible says
00:18:18.200 | when it says in the book of Numbers,
00:18:19.520 | "Be sure your sins will find you out."
00:18:21.680 | And I don't know, I'm just amazed at how an industry
00:18:25.520 | that glorifies sexuality of every form
00:18:28.180 | and of every type with seemingly no limit.
00:18:30.720 | In Hollywood films, there's no limit,
00:18:33.080 | no limit whatsoever to what is glorified.
00:18:35.200 | And yet that's the industry that has been using
00:18:37.740 | to be blown wide open.
00:18:39.160 | And I'm so thankful for it.
00:18:40.680 | I don't care who brings justice or righteousness.
00:18:44.160 | I don't care who brings it or how it comes.
00:18:46.640 | I just want it to be brought.
00:18:47.840 | Anyway, forgive me.
00:18:48.840 | That's how I feel about it.
00:18:51.280 | So my concern for you is how can you protect yourself?
00:18:55.320 | What can you do?
00:18:56.600 | And I think this is very important
00:18:58.080 | because the higher you go in your career,
00:19:02.080 | the higher you go in your earnings,
00:19:04.760 | the higher you go in your place of prominence,
00:19:07.480 | the greater the danger for you.
00:19:11.740 | You know what, there are a whole lot of victims
00:19:14.540 | of a whole lot of abusers that would love
00:19:18.460 | to see their abuser exposed publicly,
00:19:20.580 | but because the abuser is not important,
00:19:23.380 | they don't have any notoriety,
00:19:25.440 | that abuser just goes on abusing.
00:19:30.260 | And it ought not to be so.
00:19:33.580 | That's your job and my job to be diligent where we are.
00:19:37.640 | But if you rise to a place of prominence
00:19:40.540 | and there's a place of public notoriety,
00:19:42.900 | then everything changes.
00:19:44.140 | You say, well, Joshua, I'm not in a place of notoriety.
00:19:47.220 | I'm not in a place of prominence.
00:19:49.740 | Well, guess what?
00:19:51.140 | This is the time to be careful.
00:19:55.280 | This is the time to be circumspect
00:19:57.300 | in your actions and your behavior.
00:19:59.100 | This is the time to protect yourself.
00:20:01.960 | This is the time to be careful.
00:20:04.500 | As we see in the allegations against Judge Roy Moore,
00:20:08.620 | who knows, you may go on for 30 years.
00:20:12.600 | All of a sudden, allegations from 30 or 40 years prior
00:20:16.820 | come up.
00:20:18.780 | You better make sure that doesn't happen to you.
00:20:22.380 | Now, I want to give you some suggestions.
00:20:25.060 | Some of these will be big picture
00:20:26.340 | and some of them will be very specific and tactical.
00:20:29.360 | Perhaps the biggest thing that you should consider
00:20:34.660 | is if you have the opportunity, you should marry
00:20:38.940 | and you should marry early.
00:20:42.380 | One of my biggest concerns about our current society,
00:20:45.260 | and this is true in every aspect of society,
00:20:48.540 | broader, secular society, it's very true
00:20:51.580 | within the kind of the modern evangelical Christian society,
00:20:55.740 | we've done ourselves a great disservice
00:20:58.260 | by allowing marriage to be painted and set up
00:21:02.780 | as a form of bondage rather than as a form of joy
00:21:06.980 | and something tremendous and wonderful.
00:21:11.160 | I've been wanting to do an episode for a while
00:21:13.780 | and I just felt like it was too important
00:21:15.600 | for me to do lightly and so I need to be very prepared for it.
00:21:18.780 | We want to do a series on marriage and money.
00:21:20.540 | I've had requests for it and it's so important
00:21:22.580 | because if you were gonna say, you know,
00:21:24.580 | the number one thing that you can do to get wealthy
00:21:27.240 | is frankly get married.
00:21:29.180 | The data on this, the sociological data on this subject
00:21:31.860 | is so crystal clear that marriage
00:21:35.140 | on every single metric of success,
00:21:38.860 | no matter how you look at it,
00:21:40.220 | whether it's purely financial, income-wise, wealth-wise,
00:21:43.040 | whether it's with regard to your children,
00:21:45.580 | on every single metric of success,
00:21:48.600 | marriage is the key.
00:21:51.620 | I call it the success sequence, right?
00:21:53.140 | Marriage is the key and one of the books
00:21:54.700 | that I read in January this year
00:21:56.080 | that just really blew me over
00:21:58.380 | 'cause it was ignorant of the data,
00:22:01.060 | I read Charles Murray's book, "Coming Apart,
00:22:04.020 | "The State of White America, 1960 to 2010"
00:22:06.960 | and what was remarkable to me was the difference in classes.
00:22:11.740 | I couldn't believe it how the lower class,
00:22:14.700 | people have this idea, there's this cultural perception,
00:22:20.280 | if you follow modern culture,
00:22:22.340 | that among the upper class,
00:22:24.640 | marriage is the thing that is not in style.
00:22:28.420 | You can come and go very morally,
00:22:31.060 | anything is right, however you wanna live is appropriate.
00:22:34.540 | You can just do this as you like
00:22:35.940 | but among the lower class,
00:22:36.980 | well, a bunch of usually religious zealots,
00:22:39.740 | they gotta stay married and people get married quick
00:22:41.620 | and get married at 16
00:22:42.980 | and start pumping out those children, right?
00:22:44.460 | There's this cultural idea about this,
00:22:48.020 | especially among the elite.
00:22:49.900 | They have this idea,
00:22:50.740 | this very permissive attitude among the elite
00:22:52.500 | and those uneducated lower class,
00:22:54.460 | they just get married.
00:22:58.280 | That's the exact opposite of the facts.
00:23:00.260 | The facts are among the lower class in the United States,
00:23:05.120 | marriage has collapsed
00:23:06.580 | and has led to absolute poverty of all kinds
00:23:11.180 | and among the upper class,
00:23:12.220 | although the upper class preaches the most vociferously
00:23:14.940 | about the immateriality of marriage,
00:23:19.620 | about how it's not all that important,
00:23:22.220 | it doesn't really make that big of a difference.
00:23:27.160 | They marry at pretty much the historical rates
00:23:30.820 | and they experience great success.
00:23:34.020 | Now, someday I'll deal with that one,
00:23:35.820 | I'll cite data,
00:23:37.020 | I feel like I should do that one
00:23:38.520 | with good support right now.
00:23:39.940 | Go and research it if you disbelieve me
00:23:42.660 | but one of the best things you can do for your wealth
00:23:44.580 | is marry and frankly, marry early
00:23:47.580 | and one of the big reasons for marriage is sex.
00:23:54.300 | Sure, there's more to it than that
00:23:59.160 | but one of the big reasons for marriage is sex.
00:24:04.160 | Marriage is a gift from God to allow you to enjoy sex
00:24:12.020 | and one of the best ways
00:24:14.520 | if you're experiencing sexual attraction
00:24:16.680 | is get married so that you can enjoy sex morally,
00:24:21.280 | uprightly with your spouse.
00:24:24.940 | The Bible in 1 Corinthians chapter seven
00:24:26.940 | says this so crystal clear
00:24:30.260 | and unfortunately, I'm ashamed, utterly ashamed
00:24:35.260 | of many modern Christian preachers
00:24:37.400 | who hem and haw about the fact that marriage is for sex
00:24:41.000 | and they sit back and play this prudish game
00:24:44.080 | or this thing where they just wanna go along
00:24:45.960 | with everyone else and not recognize just the value of sex.
00:24:49.700 | Let me just read the Bible to you.
00:24:51.040 | 1 Corinthians chapter seven says this,
00:24:52.460 | now Paul is speaking to a Corinthian church.
00:24:54.920 | For context, if you're not a Bible reader,
00:24:56.720 | just a quick little bit of context.
00:24:59.160 | There are two in the New Testament in the Christian Bible,
00:25:03.480 | there are two letters that are collected.
00:25:05.200 | One is called 1 Corinthians
00:25:06.360 | and one is called 2 Corinthians.
00:25:08.640 | Now, some scholars believe
00:25:10.160 | that it's actually a total of four letters
00:25:12.920 | but they're listed in the Bible as two different letters
00:25:17.100 | and the Corinthian church is probably the example
00:25:20.680 | that we have in the Bible of the most dysfunctional,
00:25:24.440 | utterly awful church.
00:25:28.360 | I think most of us, at least me and many of you that I know,
00:25:33.940 | you think about saying the words Corinthian church
00:25:36.200 | and you hardly wanna call them a church
00:25:38.560 | because they're just so utterly dysfunctional and immoral.
00:25:43.560 | The town, and it's natural and normal,
00:25:46.860 | the town of Corinth was, as I understand it,
00:25:50.060 | a seaside town filled with every bit of immorality
00:25:52.660 | that a seaside town is filled with.
00:25:54.520 | And so the letter is written by a man named Paul
00:25:57.420 | who is one of the early Christian preachers
00:25:59.260 | and very influential.
00:26:00.220 | It's many of his letters that make up the New Testament.
00:26:03.420 | And so this letter is very, very practical
00:26:05.540 | and has a lot of careful, practical instruction
00:26:08.540 | about specific issues.
00:26:11.140 | So read from 1 Corinthians chapter seven, Paul says this,
00:26:14.300 | "Now concerning the matters about which you wrote,
00:26:16.740 | "it is good for a man not to have sexual relations
00:26:20.120 | "with a woman, but because of the temptation
00:26:22.980 | "to sexual immorality," and side note here,
00:26:25.820 | when the Bible uses the term sexual immorality,
00:26:27.940 | it refers to any kind of sexual activity
00:26:30.220 | outside of marriage relationship with a husband and wife.
00:26:34.500 | And there are a couple different words that are often used,
00:26:37.060 | the word fornication, sex before marriage,
00:26:39.060 | and the words adultery, sex with somebody who is married.
00:26:42.340 | But sexual immorality is an inclusive term
00:26:44.400 | of any kind of sexual contact outside of,
00:26:47.140 | between a husband and a wife within the context of marriage.
00:26:50.180 | "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality,
00:26:52.540 | "each man should have his own wife,
00:26:54.380 | "and each woman her own husband.
00:26:56.420 | "The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights,
00:26:59.500 | "and likewise the wife to her husband.
00:27:01.880 | "For the wife does not have authority over her own body,
00:27:04.540 | "but the husband does.
00:27:05.920 | "Likewise, the husband does not have authority
00:27:09.040 | "over his own body, but the wife does."
00:27:12.140 | And it says, "Do not deprive one another,
00:27:14.800 | "except perhaps by agreement for a limited time
00:27:17.160 | "that you may devote yourselves to prayer,
00:27:18.980 | "but then come together again,
00:27:20.800 | "so that Satan may not tempt you
00:27:22.640 | "because of your lack of self-control."
00:27:25.360 | So that's the scripture,
00:27:26.820 | and I'm gonna avoid some of the temptations
00:27:29.200 | to kind of preach and pull that whole passage of heart
00:27:31.560 | and show some of the important things.
00:27:32.900 | That's for context for a different show
00:27:35.280 | or a different occasion.
00:27:36.160 | But the basic message that I wanna emphasize here
00:27:39.000 | is that the basic purpose of marriage
00:27:41.320 | is to avoid sexual immorality.
00:27:43.320 | That's one of the basic things,
00:27:44.680 | that a husband and a wife within marriage
00:27:47.000 | can enjoy all of the pleasure of marriage
00:27:49.840 | and thus avoid sexual immorality,
00:27:52.800 | have a satisfying sexual relationship
00:27:55.520 | within the context of marriage.
00:27:57.440 | That's the point.
00:27:58.280 | That's one of the major benefits.
00:28:00.400 | Now, it's not the only benefit,
00:28:01.880 | but it's definitely not an ancillary benefit.
00:28:05.280 | It's definitely not a secondary benefit.
00:28:07.720 | And for Christians, there is nothing,
00:28:09.720 | there's nothing, it's not more righteous to be celibate.
00:28:15.920 | It's righteous to be married and to enjoy sex.
00:28:21.320 | One of the things in Proverbs chapter five,
00:28:24.080 | Solomon says, teaching to his son, he says this,
00:28:27.560 | I'll just read it in the original language,
00:28:28.720 | but it says, "Let your fountain be blessed
00:28:34.260 | "and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
00:28:38.260 | "a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
00:28:41.300 | "Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.
00:28:44.780 | "Be intoxicated always in her love."
00:28:49.100 | I haven't called my wife a deer in a while.
00:28:50.980 | I should try that.
00:28:51.920 | I should tell her she's a lovely doe and see what it says.
00:28:54.900 | It's a little bit of cultural appropriateness
00:28:57.580 | to certain types of language.
00:28:59.620 | But again, I'll just read it.
00:29:01.060 | "Let your fountain be blessed
00:29:02.300 | "and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
00:29:03.980 | "a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
00:29:06.380 | "Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.
00:29:09.580 | "Be intoxicated always in her love.
00:29:12.140 | "Why should you be intoxicated, my son,
00:29:13.960 | "with a forbidden woman
00:29:15.220 | "and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?"
00:29:17.940 | Now listen carefully.
00:29:20.800 | "For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord
00:29:23.140 | "and he ponders all his paths.
00:29:25.320 | "The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him
00:29:28.220 | "and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
00:29:31.420 | "He dies for lack of discipline
00:29:34.260 | "and because of his great folly he is led astray."
00:29:37.420 | I don't want you to die for lack of discipline
00:29:41.100 | and I don't wanna die for lack of discipline.
00:29:44.260 | And it's very important
00:29:46.220 | that we put discipline around ourselves
00:29:48.340 | to protect ourselves from committing sexual immorality.
00:29:53.340 | I was gonna say, and I forgot at the beginning,
00:29:56.300 | but the way that you protect yourself from sexual scandal
00:29:59.420 | and the way that you protect your career
00:30:00.820 | from being torpedoed due to sexual scandal
00:30:03.820 | is don't engage in sexual scandal.
00:30:07.540 | That's how you protect yourself.
00:30:11.660 | Now, unfortunately, that's not enough anymore.
00:30:15.260 | You have to avoid even the appearance of evil,
00:30:19.140 | as the King James Bible says in one translation
00:30:22.180 | from 1 Thessalonians 5.
00:30:24.900 | So every other translation, I need to look this up,
00:30:27.180 | but abstain from every form of evil.
00:30:28.500 | But the King James Version says
00:30:29.500 | abstain from the appearance of evil.
00:30:31.340 | So it's not enough just to not do bad things to people.
00:30:34.500 | It's not enough just to not commit sexual sin,
00:30:37.340 | but you have to avoid even the appearance of it.
00:30:39.040 | But it's a good starting place.
00:30:41.260 | And so you've gotta build around yourself
00:30:43.580 | walls of discipline so that you can stay faithful
00:30:46.900 | to your spouse.
00:30:48.420 | Now, if you're not married, be very careful
00:30:53.700 | and listen to some of what I have to say.
00:30:55.580 | And I'll talk in a moment about pornography
00:30:57.460 | and the temptations for those of you who are not married.
00:31:00.020 | But if you're not married, be careful.
00:31:02.500 | Now, if you're also not married and you're courting,
00:31:06.420 | court carefully, be careful.
00:31:09.020 | Put walls and fences around yourself to protect yourself.
00:31:12.340 | One thing my wife and I learned that we had to do
00:31:15.940 | during the time of our engagement,
00:31:17.980 | we had to be very, very careful
00:31:21.820 | not to put ourselves into relationships
00:31:24.900 | where the passions of the flesh would lead to sin.
00:31:28.120 | Once you start down that road, it is impossible to stop.
00:31:34.060 | And your only point of defense is don't put yourself
00:31:39.060 | in a situation where you're not protected.
00:31:42.960 | Be careful.
00:31:45.780 | Chaperones are a good idea, and it shouldn't be foisted
00:31:50.840 | upon you by someone else.
00:31:52.540 | It's something that you should put upon yourself
00:31:54.720 | to protect yourself.
00:31:55.880 | Be careful what appetites you feed.
00:31:59.180 | If you're gonna protect yourself from sexual scandal,
00:32:03.140 | you have to avoid sexual sin.
00:32:05.240 | If you're going to avoid sexual sin,
00:32:06.860 | you have to be careful what appetites you feed.
00:32:10.940 | If you feed the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh,
00:32:14.380 | your desire and your lust will grow.
00:32:17.680 | So focus not on feeding the lust of the eyes
00:32:22.580 | and the lust of the flesh for other people.
00:32:25.580 | Fill your appetite with your spouse.
00:32:29.240 | Feed your appetite for a fulfilling sexual relationship
00:32:34.020 | with your wife and give yourself fully to her.
00:32:36.440 | That takes work.
00:32:40.040 | It is hard, but it's worth it.
00:32:45.120 | People often have this impression and this idea
00:32:48.560 | that erotic fulfillment is easy and it's natural,
00:32:52.160 | and that's what's taught.
00:32:53.440 | That's what's taught by Hollywood.
00:32:55.520 | And these, I struggle so much, these cretins,
00:33:00.520 | these cretins are the ones who put forth
00:33:07.640 | the stuff that destroys people's lives,
00:33:11.120 | and it obviously has the same corrosive effect
00:33:13.680 | on their own life.
00:33:15.440 | And then they have the gall to say that somehow
00:33:17.700 | those of us who say, no, what you're doing is destructive
00:33:21.400 | because you're putting forth something
00:33:22.880 | that is destroying people's lives
00:33:24.800 | 'cause you're lifting up lust and things that are evil
00:33:27.960 | and putting them as good and painting them with good levels.
00:33:30.200 | Well, we're the prudes.
00:33:31.640 | Uh-huh, that is a bunch of nonsense.
00:33:34.120 | It's poppycock, it's stupid.
00:33:36.320 | If you feed on the lust of those cretins in Hollywood,
00:33:42.380 | you're gonna wind up acting like those cretins in Hollywood.
00:33:50.080 | So feed your appetite for a fulfilling sexual relationship
00:33:53.600 | with your wife and give yourself to her.
00:33:56.200 | Cut off as many external sources of temptation as you can.
00:33:59.740 | It's always hard 'cause you sound a little bit,
00:34:04.440 | what's the word?
00:34:08.400 | I don't know, overly zealous and whatnot,
00:34:10.900 | but I don't see how it is possible
00:34:12.860 | to consume much of modern entertainment
00:34:15.360 | and not feed those lusts.
00:34:17.400 | I don't know, I guess a Game of Thrones earlier,
00:34:19.760 | I don't know how it's, I hear, hey,
00:34:21.240 | lots of people like Game of Thrones,
00:34:23.120 | but I'm sorry, I don't want to model
00:34:25.400 | what I hear is modeled in that life.
00:34:27.440 | I don't wanna become an abusive adulterer,
00:34:29.320 | so why would I parade that stuff before my eyes?
00:34:32.960 | In the book of James,
00:34:38.200 | James, for those of you who aren't big Bible readers,
00:34:43.880 | the book of James is another book
00:34:47.900 | that's collected in the New Testament.
00:34:49.880 | It's written by a man named James,
00:34:54.880 | who is the half-brother of Jesus,
00:34:58.480 | the son of Mary and Joseph,
00:35:00.520 | and so he's the half-brother of Jesus.
00:35:02.320 | It's the only book that we have in the Bible,
00:35:05.160 | it's the only kind of record that we have
00:35:06.880 | of the brothers or even sisters,
00:35:10.120 | brothers and sisters of Jesus.
00:35:11.920 | So book of James, half-brother of Jesus,
00:35:13.960 | and he was not one of the 12 disciples,
00:35:15.600 | but he wrote this book,
00:35:16.440 | and it's actually my favorite book in the Bible,
00:35:21.440 | the one that I most enjoy.
00:35:22.620 | But in the book of James, chapter one,
00:35:26.220 | James says this, "Let no one say when he is tempted,
00:35:29.660 | "I am being tempted by God,
00:35:32.140 | "for God cannot be tempted with evil,
00:35:34.560 | "and He Himself tempts no one.
00:35:37.220 | "But each person is tempted when he is lured
00:35:40.740 | "and enticed by his own desire.
00:35:44.620 | "Then desire, when it has conceived,
00:35:47.380 | "gives birth to sin,
00:35:49.220 | "and sin, when it is fully grown,
00:35:51.080 | "brings forth death."
00:35:52.600 | Again, "Each person is tempted
00:35:57.780 | "when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.
00:36:01.340 | "Then desire, when it has conceived,
00:36:03.620 | "gives birth to sin,
00:36:04.960 | "and sin, when it is fully grown,
00:36:06.520 | "brings forth death."
00:36:08.020 | There's nothing wrong with desire,
00:36:09.720 | but you've gotta make sure that you channel your desire
00:36:14.300 | in the right direction.
00:36:17.320 | Channel it towards your wife.
00:36:18.820 | Now, a little bit ago I said,
00:36:24.260 | that's not enough just to avoid evil.
00:36:27.380 | And in today's world, I believe that firmly,
00:36:29.460 | and I think there is sufficient evidence on all sides
00:36:32.540 | to demonstrate as to why that is so important.
00:36:35.640 | You've got to not only avoid evil,
00:36:42.020 | you've gotta avoid the appearance of evil,
00:36:43.740 | and you've gotta make sure that you give no place
00:36:47.060 | that any accusation can come against you.
00:36:50.180 | Now, you can't control if somebody accuses you,
00:36:52.740 | but you can control if there's any evidence whatsoever
00:36:58.560 | that could be questionable.
00:36:59.900 | My recommendation, don't allow yourself
00:37:06.180 | to be alone in a private, concealed place
00:37:11.180 | with someone of the opposite sex
00:37:12.760 | to whom you're not married.
00:37:14.100 | Don't allow yourself to be alone
00:37:18.100 | in a private, concealed place
00:37:19.860 | with someone of the opposite sex to whom you're not married,
00:37:22.460 | or I guess I should say,
00:37:23.540 | who's not your mother or your sister.
00:37:25.380 | Don't give place for it.
00:37:28.440 | Now, I was amazed.
00:37:30.740 | If you do this, and if you follow this,
00:37:33.220 | you can generally do this without ever anyone knowing it.
00:37:37.060 | And notice how carefully I qualified that.
00:37:43.000 | There's a place where you need to make sure,
00:37:45.840 | you're gonna be forced constantly to be in situations
00:37:49.280 | in which you're going to be together and alone
00:37:52.560 | with someone of the opposite sex.
00:37:54.520 | But make sure that you don't get put in a place
00:37:57.120 | where you're alone in a private, concealed place
00:38:00.480 | with someone of the opposite sex to whom you're not married.
00:38:03.140 | You'll stick out like a sore thumb
00:38:04.520 | and you'll be mocked mercilessly
00:38:06.640 | if anybody finds out that you practice this habit.
00:38:10.280 | But those same people who mock you mercilessly today
00:38:14.240 | are the ones who will tear you limb from limb
00:38:18.080 | if there's an accusation of any kind against you.
00:38:21.980 | So you're gonna be mocked either way.
00:38:24.240 | So you might as well be mocked
00:38:26.920 | for doing something that is good.
00:38:28.560 | You know, I think we all would like sometimes
00:38:33.200 | to be able to control what other people say.
00:38:35.480 | You've never been able to control what other people say.
00:38:37.800 | And I'll tell you what, if you wanna be humbled,
00:38:40.260 | just go on the internet and read what they say about you.
00:38:43.840 | Don't do it if you're not ready to be humbled.
00:38:47.240 | But you can't control what people say.
00:38:49.280 | You have no control whatsoever over what other people say,
00:38:53.520 | whether they say good things or bad things.
00:38:55.440 | You can't do that.
00:38:56.860 | The only thing you can control is what you do.
00:39:00.800 | And what happens is that there are always people
00:39:03.520 | who sit around and who all they do
00:39:06.240 | is consistently jab and tell lies.
00:39:10.340 | You can always find somebody telling lies about you.
00:39:14.140 | But the people who are serious,
00:39:16.260 | they'll look to see what you actually do,
00:39:18.220 | and they'll appreciate the things that you actually do.
00:39:22.340 | And it's very important that if you're going
00:39:24.360 | to be criticized, if you're going to face mocking,
00:39:28.380 | at least make sure that your actions
00:39:30.340 | and your reputation are with you.
00:39:35.620 | Again, reading from, this time I read
00:39:38.200 | from the book of 1 Peter.
00:39:39.720 | And again, for those of you who aren't Bible readers,
00:39:42.380 | there are two letters that we have
00:39:43.560 | that are written by the hand of Peter,
00:39:45.320 | or written in those days, most of the time,
00:39:48.100 | they dictated them.
00:39:49.480 | So Peter was probably the most prominent
00:39:54.000 | of the 12 disciples of Jesus when Jesus was walking around
00:39:58.220 | and followed by his disciples and teaching publicly
00:40:00.760 | there in the land of Israel.
00:40:01.880 | And Peter was one of his 12 disciples.
00:40:03.640 | And he was the one who, they say,
00:40:05.900 | oh, he's putting his foot in his mouth.
00:40:07.020 | And he was very, very, very, well, he wrote two letters,
00:40:10.220 | which are recorded in the back of the Bible,
00:40:11.460 | 1 Peter and 2 Peter.
00:40:12.660 | He also basically was responsible for the content
00:40:15.580 | of the book of Mark in the Bible.
00:40:17.940 | So I always think of the book of Mark
00:40:19.500 | as the gospel of Peter.
00:40:21.340 | But there's a little story behind that
00:40:22.780 | that you can research on your own.
00:40:23.900 | But one of these two letters, in the book of 1 Peter,
00:40:26.740 | this passage to me has been of great comfort
00:40:31.340 | over the years as I've learned how to deal
00:40:33.540 | with the fact that people are gonna mock me
00:40:36.000 | no matter what I do.
00:40:37.040 | And so how should I approach it?
00:40:39.480 | In the book of 1 Peter, chapter two,
00:40:41.720 | Peter writes this, he says,
00:40:42.560 | "Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles
00:40:45.120 | "to abstain from the passions of the flesh
00:40:47.120 | "which wage war against your soul.
00:40:49.180 | "Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable,
00:40:52.680 | "so that when they speak against you as evildoers,
00:40:55.360 | "they may see your good deeds and glorify God
00:40:57.760 | "on the day of visitation."
00:40:59.480 | And then a few verses later, Peter writes this.
00:41:01.400 | He says, "For what credit is it if when you sin
00:41:05.900 | "and are beaten for it, you endure?
00:41:08.140 | "But if when you do good and suffer for it, you endure.
00:41:11.800 | "This is a gracious thing in the sight of God.
00:41:14.400 | "For to this you have been called,
00:41:15.700 | "because Christ also suffered for you,
00:41:17.640 | "leaving you an example so that you might
00:41:19.860 | "follow in his steps.
00:41:21.300 | "He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.
00:41:25.060 | "When he was reviled, he did not revile in return.
00:41:28.480 | "When he suffered, he did not threaten,
00:41:30.760 | "but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly."
00:41:35.760 | You can't control what people say about you,
00:41:42.160 | but what you can do is live honorably
00:41:45.160 | and conduct yourself honorably.
00:41:48.400 | So be careful.
00:41:50.160 | And most importantly, since today's show
00:41:52.320 | is addressed to men, protect the woman
00:41:56.580 | that you're interacting with for her safety
00:41:59.100 | and for her good name, protect her.
00:42:01.820 | Now, here are some things that you need to be aware of.
00:42:05.360 | Just number one, you think it's a small thing.
00:42:07.840 | It's not a small thing.
00:42:08.960 | A classic blackmail scheme against powerful men
00:42:15.000 | has been to send a beautiful woman
00:42:17.640 | to that powerful man to seduce him,
00:42:21.360 | to put him into a compromising situation
00:42:23.520 | that is either actually compromising
00:42:26.920 | or just simply looks compromising,
00:42:29.980 | and then to collect evidence,
00:42:31.740 | maybe a picture taken by somebody else,
00:42:34.580 | thus setting up an opportunity for blackmail.
00:42:37.620 | This has been a consistent, consistent thing.
00:42:40.540 | You go study a little bit of spy history
00:42:42.780 | and you'll find that's a classic blackmail scheme.
00:42:45.480 | So the more you come to prominence,
00:42:48.940 | the more important that it is that you be careful.
00:42:53.060 | You never know, someday you might wind up,
00:42:55.820 | I hope not, someday you might wind up
00:42:57.800 | as President of the United States,
00:42:59.960 | and then it's gonna be, well, what's your reputation?
00:43:02.560 | And back to, just a moment, so this kind of practice,
00:43:07.560 | I think it's a very healthy practice.
00:43:09.040 | It's important for you and it's important to protect
00:43:11.440 | those with whom you interact, is to be careful.
00:43:13.880 | And don't allow yourself to be alone
00:43:15.640 | in a private, concealed place
00:43:17.120 | with someone of the opposite sex to whom you're not married.
00:43:19.080 | And it's not because you're somehow,
00:43:22.280 | you can't control yourself,
00:43:24.960 | although frankly, you can't control yourself.
00:43:26.800 | Better men than you and better men than I,
00:43:29.580 | when they allow themselves to walk down that path,
00:43:33.520 | just halfway, better men than you and I have fallen.
00:43:38.200 | It's not that, it's a matter of reputation.
00:43:42.160 | Protect yourself.
00:43:43.600 | So I was amazed, this created the big news of,
00:43:48.280 | when Mike Pence, it's called the Billy Graham rule,
00:43:53.160 | I guess in modern vernacular,
00:43:54.960 | 'cause Billy Graham would always
00:43:56.640 | kind of follow this practice.
00:43:58.120 | And so Mike Pence became known a few months ago
00:44:00.980 | that he followed this practice.
00:44:03.240 | And he was excoriated and destroyed,
00:44:07.800 | Vice President Mike Pence, he was destroyed in the press
00:44:12.280 | by those who say, this is despicable,
00:44:14.560 | this is the same kind of constant male patriarchy
00:44:19.200 | that women have to face and that women
00:44:21.280 | don't ever get an opportunity to get ahead
00:44:22.980 | because they're not gonna be there in the inside deals.
00:44:25.980 | And I was amazed after the Harvey Weinstein account
00:44:32.160 | to read a story about David Schwimmer,
00:44:35.280 | one of the leading actors on "Friends,"
00:44:37.240 | who some, a journalist wrote about how,
00:44:40.200 | or an actress, I guess, wrote about how
00:44:42.640 | David Schwimmer was such a good man that they were,
00:44:44.760 | she was, journalist, she was doing an interview over dinner
00:44:48.520 | and with David Schwimmer and he said,
00:44:50.280 | it was loud and they were having a hard time
00:44:51.840 | finishing their interview and he said,
00:44:53.280 | would you like to go up to my room to finish the interview
00:44:55.560 | and I'll make sure that somebody else is there.
00:44:57.760 | And she just thought that was so sweet and so thoughtful.
00:45:00.560 | It was sweet and it was thoughtful and it was important.
00:45:04.000 | We should honor David Schwimmer for that.
00:45:06.840 | But that's what these people will do.
00:45:08.760 | If they like you, they'll stick up and say, hey, it's great.
00:45:12.200 | If they don't like you, they'll say
00:45:14.080 | it's the worst thing ever.
00:45:15.600 | You can't change that.
00:45:19.080 | What you can do is, what you can do is protect yourself.
00:45:24.080 | So it's very, very simple, but make sure
00:45:28.280 | that you put the habits into place around the office.
00:45:31.040 | Make sure that you have a window on your office
00:45:33.080 | so you don't have a private office.
00:45:34.920 | Make sure that you leave the door open.
00:45:36.840 | Make sure that if you're gonna meet with somebody,
00:45:38.480 | meet with them in a public place.
00:45:41.280 | Make sure that you are open and up front.
00:45:44.580 | Bring somebody with you.
00:45:45.680 | If you need to meet with somebody in private,
00:45:47.560 | bring a trusted compatriot with you, a trusted confidant.
00:45:51.680 | There's always somebody available.
00:45:53.800 | There's always somebody available.
00:45:56.560 | And if not, if you need to talk privately,
00:45:58.560 | then figure it out.
00:46:01.120 | Anyway, I don't need to go into more and more,
00:46:02.640 | but figure it out.
00:46:03.640 | Be careful when traveling.
00:46:06.320 | One of the biggest challenges,
00:46:08.900 | especially for us as men, is traveling.
00:46:11.680 | If you're a person of prominence, personally,
00:46:14.440 | I don't think you should travel alone.
00:46:16.800 | Frankly, I wish that most of us
00:46:18.320 | didn't have to travel alone.
00:46:19.560 | But it's really hard to see how it's possible to do that.
00:46:21.840 | I still travel alone.
00:46:23.240 | But I hope to stop that pretty soon.
00:46:25.520 | I'm very much looking forward for when my oldest child
00:46:28.900 | is able to be quiet and controlled
00:46:31.080 | for extended periods of time
00:46:32.460 | so that I can take my children with me.
00:46:34.260 | Now, obviously, that fits into my goal of benefits for him,
00:46:37.440 | my oldest son, or my daughter when she's old enough.
00:46:39.800 | I want them to be with me in adult situations
00:46:42.040 | so that they can have perspective on the world
00:46:44.840 | that starts from an early age.
00:46:46.040 | But part of that's also for me.
00:46:48.280 | It's good protection for me to have my children with me.
00:46:51.200 | And if you are a person of public prominence,
00:46:54.240 | here would be one where I think
00:46:55.400 | you need to assess your situation.
00:46:58.560 | But if you're a person of public prominence,
00:47:00.240 | you should spend the extra money not to travel alone.
00:47:03.120 | Travel with your staff.
00:47:04.600 | Travel with a business partner.
00:47:06.220 | Travel with your children.
00:47:07.600 | Travel with your spouse.
00:47:09.120 | But make sure there's somebody there with you
00:47:10.680 | because traveling is tough.
00:47:13.000 | And it's really, really tough
00:47:15.840 | to maintain your faithfulness to your wife
00:47:21.840 | when you're on the road.
00:47:23.040 | Business travel, especially for many men,
00:47:27.840 | is the place where they indulge,
00:47:29.400 | and probably many women, I don't know, but for men,
00:47:32.260 | is the place where they indulge the lust of the flesh
00:47:36.960 | because they have a level of safety.
00:47:38.760 | You've got to avoid that.
00:47:43.160 | So when traveling, avoid difficult situations
00:47:45.640 | whenever possible.
00:47:46.720 | It's pretty lonely to be the killjoy,
00:47:51.600 | but it's worth it.
00:47:54.020 | It's pretty lonely to go home
00:47:57.740 | or to go back to your hotel room all alone
00:48:00.240 | when the boys are headed to the strip club
00:48:01.880 | for an evening of client entertainment,
00:48:04.480 | but go home anyway.
00:48:06.600 | It's worth it when you can walk in the front door
00:48:10.720 | and greet your wife with a clear conscience.
00:48:13.040 | It's worth it.
00:48:18.760 | One thing that helps me is I always look at my daughter.
00:48:22.680 | I have a beautiful little baby girl.
00:48:24.840 | And it's funny, actually, as I wrote these notes,
00:48:29.160 | she woke up from her nap a little earlier today.
00:48:31.200 | She woke up from her nap, and she was sitting in my lap,
00:48:34.240 | and I always look at my daughter, and I just think,
00:48:37.960 | every woman that's out there was once
00:48:40.720 | a daddy's little daughter, just like mine.
00:48:43.040 | Cute little pigtails in her hair,
00:48:44.840 | sweet, innocent little girls, never known anything wrong.
00:48:47.740 | That woman
00:48:51.000 | was once somebody's little girl, and probably still is.
00:48:57.160 | Somebody's little girl.
00:48:58.440 | Do I want my daughter being treated
00:49:02.600 | the way that these men are treating this woman right now?
00:49:07.320 | I find that's a very helpful
00:49:08.480 | and anchoring situation to be in.
00:49:10.600 | It's one thing to look at somebody
00:49:14.720 | playing the harlot in the street
00:49:17.920 | and be filled with lust for them.
00:49:20.480 | It's another thing to see them as somebody's little girl.
00:49:23.280 | I don't want my little girl in that situation,
00:49:26.520 | so why should I treat somebody else's little girl like that?
00:49:31.520 | If you don't have a daughter, consider a niece,
00:49:34.760 | or find somebody with a beautiful baby girl,
00:49:36.680 | and look at the innocence of a beautiful little baby girl,
00:49:40.400 | and recognize that those women
00:49:43.080 | that you're destroying with your action
00:49:45.400 | are somebody's baby girl.
00:49:48.680 | So whatever you've got to do to protect yourself
00:49:53.080 | when traveling, do it.
00:49:54.140 | Spend the extra money to meet someone at a restaurant.
00:49:57.540 | In today's world, especially in the modern business climate,
00:50:00.640 | I think it's best for you to keep your mouth shut
00:50:03.880 | about your reasons.
00:50:05.600 | Many women, especially many businesswomen,
00:50:07.880 | would be deeply insulted
00:50:10.120 | if you talk about your reasoning
00:50:12.880 | for why you want to meet them in a public place
00:50:15.960 | or something like that.
00:50:17.160 | Or many women, especially businesswomen,
00:50:20.400 | if you're going on a business trip
00:50:21.560 | and you have a female coworker with you,
00:50:24.380 | they will be deeply insulted
00:50:26.720 | if you open your mouth and say a word
00:50:29.760 | about why you prefer to go back to your room
00:50:33.920 | and dine alone in the evening.
00:50:35.520 | I try not to insult people,
00:50:39.120 | and I try not to make people feel insulted.
00:50:41.520 | So I think it's best for you to be reserved
00:50:43.840 | in telling them why you do something.
00:50:45.360 | I guess I've ruined it with recording a show,
00:50:48.120 | but I would never tell from traveling
00:50:51.440 | with a female business companion or coworker,
00:50:55.040 | I wouldn't tell her why I'm doing something,
00:50:55.880 | I'm just gonna do it.
00:50:57.360 | If you gotta be weird, fine, be weird,
00:50:58.800 | but just, you can be the loner if you need to.
00:51:03.600 | But spend the extra money, do whatever's necessary,
00:51:06.080 | and make sure that you protect yourself,
00:51:08.120 | protect your wife, and protect the people
00:51:09.680 | that you're working with.
00:51:10.920 | Avoid alcohol when you're traveling.
00:51:14.240 | Alcohol leads to poor decision-making and poor judgment.
00:51:17.800 | And don't risk it, especially when you're vulnerable
00:51:20.560 | when you're on the road.
00:51:21.920 | There's this constant cycle.
00:51:23.280 | You spend enough time in business hotels and business bars,
00:51:26.360 | and you will see this cycle again and again and again.
00:51:30.280 | Businessman, hard time at home,
00:51:32.600 | screaming kids, clamoring for his attention,
00:51:34.960 | tired wife, he's having a hard time at home.
00:51:37.760 | Well, when he's on his trip, he can hang out and be alone.
00:51:41.440 | He can be with the guys and have a good time.
00:51:44.000 | He's got beautiful coworkers that he can hang out with
00:51:46.120 | who are fun, who are smart, who are intelligent.
00:51:48.560 | And his wife is busy with the children,
00:51:51.040 | and she doesn't have fun things to say,
00:51:53.660 | but the person, the coworker at work
00:51:55.640 | has lots of fun things to say.
00:51:57.160 | And so we'll start having a few drinks,
00:52:01.080 | and we'll be having a great time,
00:52:02.640 | and one thing leads to another.
00:52:04.800 | And all of a sudden, you're in a situation
00:52:07.040 | that you didn't want to be in.
00:52:08.540 | Don't destroy your marriage,
00:52:12.540 | and don't destroy your financial life with your infidelity.
00:52:16.180 | You cannot say no when you're 50% down that road.
00:52:22.320 | You've got to say no when you're 0% down that road.
00:52:26.920 | So avoid alcohol.
00:52:28.720 | If you're with a bunch of people
00:52:29.960 | and abstaining totally is problematic,
00:52:32.160 | maybe you're the one entertaining,
00:52:33.600 | you're the one, different business situations are difficult,
00:52:36.880 | but if abstaining totally is problematic, have one drink.
00:52:40.160 | Here's a little tip.
00:52:42.720 | Have one drink with everybody.
00:52:44.720 | If you're in a situation that's problematic,
00:52:46.720 | have one drink with everyone,
00:52:48.400 | then go to the restroom, stop at the bar on your way back,
00:52:51.400 | and get yourself a Coke, put a lime in it from the bar,
00:52:54.320 | and keep that drink topped off from the bar directly.
00:52:57.560 | Gives you an easy excuse to avoid more drinks,
00:52:59.500 | looks like you're drinking a rum and Coke,
00:53:01.040 | and all the drunk people will never know.
00:53:03.080 | Drunk people are pretty stupid, so avoid it.
00:53:07.280 | Whatever you got to do, put those things in place.
00:53:10.200 | Avoid pornography of all kinds at all costs,
00:53:15.760 | and put fences around yourself
00:53:17.360 | so that you're able to stand when you're tempted
00:53:19.720 | and when you're alone.
00:53:21.520 | I was deeply addicted to pornography during my teenage years
00:53:24.280 | and it has caused me years, years of problems,
00:53:28.240 | and years of tears because of it.
00:53:31.560 | And it's probably, I'm convinced,
00:53:32.880 | it's the number one addiction in our modern world today,
00:53:35.760 | and it has deep, deep impact.
00:53:39.760 | Pornography at use and the associated masturbation
00:53:42.400 | with pornography puts grooves in your brain,
00:53:45.640 | pleasure pathways that are reliably associated
00:53:48.900 | with a perfect release at the end of the process,
00:53:53.100 | and those grooves go deep.
00:53:56.700 | Now they can be undone in actually
00:53:59.500 | a really short period of time,
00:54:01.780 | but pornography is so deeply destructive.
00:54:06.560 | I'm gonna skip the three-hour talk on this subject,
00:54:13.580 | but it's probably the number one destroyer
00:54:16.100 | of men and women today.
00:54:17.720 | It destroys everything good.
00:54:21.440 | Pornography destroys good sex between husbands and wives.
00:54:25.060 | It puts this picture of sex as the way
00:54:30.060 | that God designed it to be,
00:54:32.020 | a beautiful and intimate and caring,
00:54:34.620 | and it causes it to be,
00:54:36.460 | it gives men and women these weird ideas
00:54:41.740 | about what's normal.
00:54:43.180 | It's interesting, there's so much research
00:54:44.700 | that's been done about sexual practice among teenagers.
00:54:49.700 | There's so much research that's been done on this subject
00:54:52.780 | about sexual practice among teenagers,
00:54:54.300 | and there's all these teenage girls
00:54:58.580 | who are going and studying pornography
00:55:01.580 | to learn sexual technique
00:55:03.660 | because their teenage boyfriends want them to do
00:55:07.820 | what they're doing in the porn,
00:55:10.220 | and nothing, nothing in pornography
00:55:15.780 | is devoted to the sexual pleasure of a woman.
00:55:19.380 | Everything in pornography is devoted
00:55:22.540 | to the sexual titillation of a man with imagery,
00:55:27.420 | and it causes men to have these just utterly,
00:55:30.500 | just destroyed ideas about good sex.
00:55:34.660 | Now, you wanna rip your marriage apart,
00:55:38.220 | and you wanna talk about the financial impact
00:55:40.000 | of divorce on your life?
00:55:42.580 | Well, start feeding yourself pornography,
00:55:44.660 | or continue feeding yourself pornography,
00:55:46.860 | and then start treating your wife
00:55:50.860 | the way that you see a male porn actor
00:55:55.020 | treat a female porn actor.
00:55:56.840 | Your marriage will not last
00:56:00.060 | because your wife is smart enough to know
00:56:02.180 | that that is not the way that men treat women,
00:56:05.060 | or men should treat women.
00:56:06.980 | You wanna grow her love cold for you?
00:56:08.940 | Start treating her that way.
00:56:11.560 | Pornography will destroy your life.
00:56:15.980 | I've been there, I know, and I'm so thankful.
00:56:20.700 | I'm so thankful that God delivered me from it,
00:56:23.780 | but frankly, the impact is brutal to escape,
00:56:28.780 | brutal to escape, and even today,
00:56:35.660 | it's hard for me to do a show like this
00:56:37.900 | because it kinda puts me out there,
00:56:40.420 | and it says, "Joshua, you're taking the stand,"
00:56:41.980 | and I fear, I fear being put back into that place
00:56:49.300 | of fallenness, and it's only faith
00:56:54.300 | that allows me to even talk on this stuff publicly,
00:56:57.820 | but don't let it happen, and so, men, get help.
00:57:02.820 | Talk to other men.
00:57:05.100 | Talk, talk, get help.
00:57:06.520 | There are resources, get help,
00:57:08.900 | and the other thing that's just so utterly destructive,
00:57:11.020 | pornography destroys women.
00:57:13.620 | If you wanna cry, look at your little daughter,
00:57:15.980 | and then go and start reading about the women
00:57:18.180 | who are involved in pornography
00:57:19.380 | and how their lives are destroyed,
00:57:21.740 | and you call yourself a man,
00:57:23.900 | and you wanna portray yourself as somebody upright,
00:57:29.420 | somebody who desires for justice and righteousness,
00:57:33.460 | and you wanna destroy lives with your consumption,
00:57:36.900 | I'm preaching to myself
00:57:38.100 | 'cause I have to constantly preach to myself.
00:57:41.040 | Those old grooves in the brain,
00:57:43.220 | they can be relatively quickly, actually.
00:57:46.900 | They can be very quickly wiped out.
00:57:50.420 | They can be, but to wipe them out completely
00:57:56.740 | is very, very tough, so build fences around yourself.
00:58:01.460 | Don't stay gone from home long,
00:58:03.700 | and I'm focusing on traveling.
00:58:05.100 | If you think I'm overdoing this, either,
00:58:08.580 | I can't imagine, if you think I'm laboring too long
00:58:11.540 | on this travel thing, I would submit to you
00:58:16.100 | you might not have much experience
00:58:17.580 | in the world of business travel.
00:58:19.420 | But don't stay gone from home long.
00:58:20.980 | Schedule your itinerary so that you're home
00:58:23.580 | as quickly as you can be if you're alone.
00:58:26.060 | Schedule activities in your itinerary
00:58:27.820 | so you're not sitting in a hotel room bored silly.
00:58:30.460 | Don't give place to the devil.
00:58:32.260 | Don't give place to the flesh.
00:58:33.540 | Develop a routine for your hotel room.
00:58:35.780 | When you're checking in the lobby,
00:58:37.060 | cancel the adult channels in the lobby
00:58:38.740 | when you're checking in on the hotel,
00:58:40.500 | or walk in the room and unplug the TV first thing
00:58:43.220 | and lock the TV remote in the safe
00:58:45.060 | so you're not even tempted to turn it on.
00:58:47.580 | I've heard of some men who make a practice
00:58:51.300 | of walk in the room and immediately connect
00:58:53.620 | their phone or another phone, an iPad or an iPod Touch
00:58:56.740 | or something to the Wi-Fi, and immediately set up
00:58:58.980 | a video link with their home.
00:59:00.700 | Think about how that, if you wanna talk about
00:59:03.100 | your building love with your wife,
00:59:05.140 | just let her know you care, and that you're putting
00:59:07.140 | the things in place to protect yourself.
00:59:09.500 | So setting up a video link with home
00:59:11.020 | so it feels like you're there with your wife
00:59:12.540 | and your children, and gives you greater accountability.
00:59:17.340 | If the phone's a problem, take a backup phone.
00:59:19.780 | Leave your smartphone and your computer locked in the car.
00:59:22.900 | Take a dumb phone without internet access
00:59:24.860 | with you into your room.
00:59:25.820 | Whatever you've gotta do, put software on your phone,
00:59:27.780 | your computer, whatever you've gotta do, protect yourself.
00:59:31.260 | And the higher you go, the more you must protect yourself.
00:59:36.260 | You will develop, if you go on for success,
00:59:41.700 | and you come to a place of prominence, of effectiveness,
00:59:45.460 | you will attract to yourself a retinue of enemies,
00:59:48.700 | and you must not give your enemies even a shred of ammo.
00:59:53.360 | Now there's a lot more to it, I know,
00:59:59.540 | but one of the most, other things,
01:00:02.420 | one of the most troubling questions to me in today's world
01:00:05.980 | has even been how do you protect yourself
01:00:08.060 | from allegations of child abuse?
01:00:11.820 | This one's really just troubling to me
01:00:13.180 | 'cause it seems like the normal, natural things
01:00:15.820 | of life are kinda taken away.
01:00:20.380 | I care about some of the young boys
01:00:23.040 | and young men in my neighborhood,
01:00:24.980 | and I look at the men and I don't see any father figures
01:00:27.680 | in their life, and I wanna, to bring them along,
01:00:31.100 | and I wanna help them, and I wanna do things with them
01:00:33.940 | and to help them and to encourage them.
01:00:35.700 | And I constantly face this question of what do I do?
01:00:39.820 | We've become such a society
01:00:41.380 | that's so fractured just with allegations
01:00:44.020 | that it's hard for me to say even,
01:00:46.220 | okay, here are some boys in my neighborhood
01:00:49.460 | who have probably never been on a camping trip,
01:00:51.460 | have probably never been in the woods,
01:00:52.700 | have probably never gone hunting,
01:00:54.460 | have probably never shot a bow and arrow,
01:00:56.820 | who've probably never shot a gun,
01:00:58.360 | who've probably never, how do I do things for these boys?
01:01:01.280 | But yet there's such a destructive idea
01:01:05.440 | where everyone's looking for the homosexual predator.
01:01:08.220 | And I don't know the answers, I really don't.
01:01:12.340 | I talk with my wife about it, and I just say,
01:01:14.180 | how do we, it's tough because on the one hand,
01:01:18.620 | there's this total bondage
01:01:21.740 | where you try to walk up rightly,
01:01:23.980 | and on the other hand, if you even open your mouth
01:01:26.360 | and talk about the fact that you're trying to do this,
01:01:28.220 | and everybody says, well, you're a prude, and what?
01:01:29.700 | You can't control yourself?
01:01:30.700 | And they behave as though,
01:01:34.260 | they behave as though it doesn't matter,
01:01:36.240 | and you can just do whatever you want
01:01:37.720 | and live however you want,
01:01:38.720 | but then all of a sudden it turns on you,
01:01:40.360 | and now the next thing you know, you're being destroyed.
01:01:43.240 | It's deeply frustrating to me,
01:01:45.740 | and I don't know the right answers from some of that.
01:01:48.280 | I will not let the fear or the threat
01:01:53.260 | of these people who destroy everything,
01:01:56.120 | I will not let those people destroy
01:01:58.740 | how important it is that we sow
01:02:00.820 | into the lives of other people.
01:02:03.640 | I will not let my fatherly love and care
01:02:08.640 | for the well-being of a disadvantaged boy
01:02:12.600 | in my neighborhood,
01:02:13.720 | I will not let that become something that turns,
01:02:19.960 | and the whole normal cycle of life
01:02:22.680 | of elder people sowing into the lives
01:02:25.960 | of young boys and girls,
01:02:27.160 | I will not let that whole thing be sexualized
01:02:29.160 | by our culture that worships at the altar
01:02:31.160 | of erotic control.
01:02:32.480 | The number one most powerful thing
01:02:34.320 | that anybody cares about is ultimate erotic freedom
01:02:36.980 | until all of a sudden they turn on you and say,
01:02:38.480 | "Ah, it's not about erotic freedom."
01:02:40.720 | I will not let the normal things of life
01:02:43.940 | and the important things of life be destroyed by that,
01:02:46.560 | but I also don't know how to do it.
01:02:48.360 | I gotta figure out how do we deal with it?
01:02:52.720 | How do we deal with it?
01:02:53.920 | You know, when I was younger,
01:02:58.320 | there was a neighbor of mine,
01:02:59.800 | and I was talking about this the other day
01:03:02.360 | with my wife.
01:03:03.360 | There was a neighbor of mine who was this older guy.
01:03:05.960 | He was disabled from work,
01:03:07.480 | and just this older guy, country guy,
01:03:09.840 | and he was really kind to me,
01:03:13.440 | and he was the kind of guy,
01:03:15.360 | he was kind of foul-mouthed.
01:03:16.720 | He was a country guy, kind of foul-mouthed,
01:03:19.520 | smoked a lot, drank a little here and there.
01:03:23.040 | He's the kind of guy who I would probably
01:03:25.280 | never let my children be with him today,
01:03:28.080 | but my parents let me be with him,
01:03:29.560 | and of course they knew what was going on,
01:03:31.280 | but he was a good guy.
01:03:32.800 | He was the old-fashioned kind of just good guy.
01:03:37.040 | He wasn't a Christian,
01:03:40.920 | but he was just an old-fashioned good guy,
01:03:42.760 | kind of that moral, upright,
01:03:45.320 | but very country, foul-mouthed guy,
01:03:48.760 | and he was an older man,
01:03:49.640 | and I used to hang out with him for hours,
01:03:52.040 | and I would,
01:03:53.000 | I went fishing with him.
01:03:57.520 | I'd hang out and work in his garden with him.
01:03:59.360 | He was the guy who taught me to raise rabbits,
01:04:01.600 | and we'd work on rabbits.
01:04:03.400 | We'd butcher rabbits together.
01:04:04.880 | He was just this old country guy,
01:04:06.120 | and he taught me all kinds of interesting things.
01:04:09.640 | Never once
01:04:11.520 | did he try to teach me about anything inappropriate.
01:04:17.240 | Never once did he try to
01:04:19.200 | to do anything that was wrong in any way,
01:04:24.440 | and yet today,
01:04:25.600 | I don't think I would let my son hang out
01:04:29.160 | with someone like that,
01:04:30.000 | and I hate that.
01:04:31.080 | I hate that.
01:04:33.880 | I don't know what to do.
01:04:34.720 | I don't know how to solve these problems.
01:04:35.760 | Forgive me if a little bit of rambling here,
01:04:38.160 | but I guess the show has just been personal enough
01:04:42.640 | that I figured I would share that pain,
01:04:46.080 | so just protect yourself.
01:04:48.320 | Today, just to the allegation,
01:04:50.520 | proven or not, unfortunately,
01:04:53.080 | the allegation, proven or not, evidence or not,
01:04:55.600 | that allegation is enough to destroy you,
01:04:58.280 | and we've gotta figure out how to deal
01:05:00.480 | with this new reality that we face.
01:05:03.200 | Let me just kind of wrap this up to a close.
01:05:07.160 | One of the most important,
01:05:08.240 | I've done a lot of Bible reading here,
01:05:09.520 | one of the most important passages
01:05:12.560 | would come from Ephesians 5,
01:05:15.280 | and I think it gives us a clear place
01:05:16.920 | to put this subject to rest,
01:05:20.120 | but let me just read for you from Ephesians 5.
01:05:22.840 | If you're not a Bible reader,
01:05:23.720 | this is another letter written by the Apostle Paul,
01:05:27.880 | and he says this.
01:05:28.800 | "Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children,
01:05:33.360 | and walk in love, as Christ loved us
01:05:36.080 | and gave himself up for us,
01:05:38.160 | a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
01:05:41.440 | But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness
01:05:46.400 | must not even be named among you,
01:05:49.080 | as is proper among saints.
01:05:51.520 | Let there be no filthiness, nor foolish talk,
01:05:54.960 | nor crude joking which are out of place,
01:05:57.800 | but instead let there be thanksgiving.
01:06:00.680 | For you may be sure of this,
01:06:01.880 | that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure
01:06:04.160 | or who is covetous, that is an idolater,
01:06:06.720 | has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
01:06:10.160 | Let no one deceive you with empty words,
01:06:12.000 | for because of these things,
01:06:13.160 | the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
01:06:16.760 | Therefore, do not become partners with them,
01:06:20.040 | for at one time you were darkness,
01:06:22.680 | but now you are light in the Lord.
01:06:25.760 | Walk as children of light,
01:06:28.080 | for the fruit of light is found in all
01:06:29.680 | that is good and right and true.
01:06:32.360 | And try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
01:06:35.080 | Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness,
01:06:38.640 | but instead expose them.
01:06:41.400 | For it is shameful even to speak of the things
01:06:43.360 | that they do in secret,
01:06:44.840 | but when anything is exposed by the light,
01:06:46.520 | it becomes visible.
01:06:47.880 | For anything that becomes visible is light.
01:06:50.520 | Therefore it says, "Awake, O sleeper,
01:06:52.000 | "and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
01:06:55.060 | Look carefully then how you walk,
01:06:58.560 | not as unwise, but as wise,
01:07:02.240 | making the best use of the time,
01:07:03.840 | because the days are evil.
01:07:05.600 | Therefore do not be foolish,
01:07:07.240 | but understand what the will of the Lord is.
01:07:09.600 | And do not get drunk with wine,
01:07:10.960 | for that is debauchery,
01:07:11.960 | but be filled with the Spirit,
01:07:13.560 | addressing one another in psalms and hymns
01:07:15.320 | and spiritual songs,
01:07:16.280 | singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,
01:07:18.960 | giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father
01:07:21.440 | in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
01:07:23.360 | submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
01:07:26.060 | I don't need to add much to that.
01:07:31.420 | But I would just say, men, we start with us.
01:07:36.220 | We start with us,
01:07:39.260 | and then we start with those who are nearby.
01:07:41.680 | One of the questions that I have
01:07:43.100 | is just so many of these women have come forward.
01:07:46.260 | The thing that angers me,
01:07:47.340 | where are the men who are gonna stand up and act like men?
01:07:50.540 | What are the husbands of these women doing?
01:07:52.300 | What are their fathers doing?
01:07:54.200 | Sending their daughters off into a place
01:07:55.920 | where they're gonna be preyed on by,
01:07:57.720 | where they're gonna be preyed on.
01:08:02.220 | How do those fathers look at themselves in their face
01:08:06.160 | when they send their daughter in that situation
01:08:07.720 | where she's defenseless,
01:08:09.200 | and then she becomes a victim of a great evil
01:08:11.880 | and she can't tell anyone?
01:08:14.200 | What kind of environment has been created?
01:08:16.460 | What kind of love and trust is there
01:08:18.440 | where this woman is put into this situation?
01:08:23.440 | What are the husbands of these women doing?
01:08:27.500 | You and I can't do anything about those men,
01:08:31.700 | but we had better not fail the women that we care about.
01:08:36.780 | We had better not fail our wives
01:08:38.660 | and our mothers and our daughters.
01:08:42.340 | We better be the ones to stand up for them.
01:08:48.140 | There was a day,
01:08:48.980 | I don't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing,
01:08:50.580 | but it certainly indicates something.
01:08:52.060 | There was a day when the brother
01:08:55.660 | of a woman whose honor was besmirched
01:08:58.460 | would go and deal with the man.
01:08:59.740 | There was a day when a father would go and deal with that,
01:09:02.180 | and today, we as men kinda say,
01:09:03.940 | oh, well, she's her own,
01:09:04.860 | she's gotta stand her own two feet.
01:09:06.340 | Yes, women have to bear the responsibility
01:09:09.140 | of what they have wanted to do,
01:09:11.340 | and a lot of women are pretty offended
01:09:13.620 | if you take on any kind of even just a tone
01:09:18.620 | or a desire and indicate your desire to protect her.
01:09:22.020 | That doesn't matter.
01:09:23.500 | You gotta do it anyway because it's right.
01:09:25.660 | Now, I'm not saying that you should go and get a shotgun,
01:09:30.000 | but probably in some cases, you should,
01:09:32.140 | and make sure that if there's a woman in your life
01:09:35.100 | who's victimized, you better make sure
01:09:38.700 | that she feels safe to come
01:09:40.420 | and that you're gonna deal with whatever needs to be done
01:09:42.940 | to deal with it.
01:09:43.900 | Now, one final area of importance for you,
01:09:49.060 | and I think this is very, very important,
01:09:52.260 | especially in light of the allegations
01:09:53.980 | against Judge Roy Moore.
01:09:55.340 | I hope it's been clear that allegations are important,
01:10:00.340 | and my job, especially for somebody who's a politician,
01:10:05.860 | it's not my job to jump on Harvey Weinstein.
01:10:08.060 | It's not my deal, I mean, in the sense that
01:10:11.460 | if he's close to me, but I'm not gonna go out
01:10:12.900 | and pick fights with people,
01:10:14.340 | but I will be the first to roast someone like Roy Moore
01:10:19.340 | and hold him accountable 'cause that's my job
01:10:24.100 | is to hold those accountable who are near me,
01:10:25.860 | myself and those who are near me.
01:10:28.500 | So, but in the scenario that he's in,
01:10:31.460 | in the sense that the allegations, if they're true,
01:10:36.460 | those allegations against him were a long time ago.
01:10:42.300 | So, I wanna speak straight to you, men,
01:10:46.020 | because I don't wanna see you become successful
01:10:47.820 | in the future and then have a skeleton from your past,
01:10:50.740 | a sin from your past come out and destroy you.
01:10:53.220 | What do you do if you've committed sin in the past?
01:10:56.700 | What do you do if there's something in your life
01:10:59.460 | from the past?
01:11:00.580 | You repent.
01:11:04.780 | Today, now, you repent of your sin
01:11:08.700 | and you go and you make the situation right.
01:11:10.420 | You repent first and foremost to God
01:11:12.860 | because he's the one that you've wronged
01:11:14.740 | and then you go and you repent
01:11:16.260 | before the person that you've wronged.
01:11:18.140 | And you may seek to make the situation right
01:11:22.740 | in every way possible.
01:11:25.180 | If you've stolen, you need to go back
01:11:27.740 | and you need to make restitution
01:11:29.140 | to the person that you've stolen from.
01:11:31.820 | If you've wronged somebody, you need to go back
01:11:34.500 | and you need to apologize to the people that you've wronged,
01:11:36.980 | ask for their forgiveness, and you need to go back
01:11:39.580 | and do anything you can to restore what's right.
01:11:42.380 | Some things can be restored.
01:11:43.820 | If you stole money, you can go back and make restitution
01:11:46.300 | and pay the debt that you owe.
01:11:48.700 | If you took a life, you can't bring life back.
01:11:53.660 | If there's crime, you need to go and submit yourself
01:11:57.180 | to the governing authorities and confess your crime
01:11:59.700 | and face it.
01:12:00.900 | You need to go back and repent and face it.
01:12:05.500 | And you need to repent.
01:12:08.900 | I wanna say publicly, but not always necessarily publicly,
01:12:12.020 | but at least to the people involved.
01:12:14.260 | One of the biggest issues that I have with modern,
01:12:18.220 | and it's just speaking theologically,
01:12:19.780 | one of the biggest issues that I have
01:12:21.660 | with modern mainstream popular Christianity
01:12:24.540 | is we've adopted this myth that somehow repentance
01:12:27.780 | is this thing where you kinda say,
01:12:29.020 | well, I'm sorry, God, and that absolves everything.
01:12:33.060 | Repentance needs to go much deeper.
01:12:34.500 | You need to repent from anything,
01:12:36.500 | from any sin before God that you committed in the past,
01:12:40.260 | and then go and make those things right
01:12:41.980 | and demonstrate deeds of repentance.
01:12:44.020 | Now, there's no possibility.
01:12:45.940 | It is utterly impossible for you to ever
01:12:48.700 | fully make everything right,
01:12:50.100 | and it's impossible for you to ever fully repent
01:12:53.140 | of every single sin, but if there's something
01:12:55.300 | that's on your mind or there's something
01:12:56.620 | that's on your conscience, go and repent and make it right.
01:13:01.100 | Make it right now while you have the chance
01:13:03.660 | to make restitution lest you stand before God
01:13:06.860 | and experience His wrath for that sin.
01:13:09.720 | The foremost foundation of Christian conversion
01:13:13.820 | is repentance, repentance, and it's a word
01:13:18.820 | that unfortunately, and I apologize to you
01:13:21.260 | on behalf of, if you're not a believer,
01:13:24.940 | I apologize to you on behalf
01:13:26.540 | of my fellow Christian believers.
01:13:28.980 | We have failed this generation,
01:13:32.060 | and that failure is reflected into my own shame
01:13:35.620 | frequently on the front page of newspapers
01:13:40.780 | when so-called Christian leaders
01:13:45.420 | who want to put themselves forward
01:13:49.780 | and preach from a pulpit, and all of a sudden,
01:13:51.740 | it turned out to be engaging in sexual immorality
01:13:55.580 | with whomever, trying to be careful with my language.
01:14:00.980 | It's so deeply shameful,
01:14:03.180 | and it destroys the testimony of God,
01:14:07.060 | and it's to our own fault, and we will bear
01:14:09.740 | the consequences of it in coming generations.
01:14:12.940 | We already are, but that doesn't make it,
01:14:17.820 | that doesn't make repentance optional.
01:14:20.860 | Just because the modern Christian church
01:14:23.020 | has somehow decided that repentance is optional
01:14:25.580 | and it's just a matter of come to Jesus
01:14:27.020 | 'cause He's gonna make you feel good,
01:14:28.580 | that doesn't violate the fact that repentance
01:14:32.500 | is the very first step of turning from sin.
01:14:36.780 | Now, I'm not recording this show
01:14:41.180 | as a get-rich-quick plan for you,
01:14:43.420 | but if there's sin in your life from the past
01:14:46.900 | that you have not made right,
01:14:48.980 | or have not sought to make right,
01:14:50.860 | if there's crime, if there's evil,
01:14:52.740 | if there's infidelity, if there's those things,
01:14:55.060 | that needs to be dealt with today.
01:14:57.860 | Otherwise, I guarantee you, your sin will find you out.
01:15:02.860 | You may go and build a career for 40 years,
01:15:06.460 | and be running for high political office,
01:15:08.420 | or getting ready to go and release your great new movie,
01:15:11.980 | and on the night of your release,
01:15:14.080 | the director may look and say, "Guess what?
01:15:16.500 | "This person's just become a liability."
01:15:18.660 | And my hope is not to persuade you of that
01:15:21.380 | so that you can somehow get more money and be richer.
01:15:25.020 | My hope is to persuade you of that
01:15:26.380 | because it's the right thing to do.
01:15:28.540 | Though it cost you everything, every dollar you have,
01:15:33.140 | to go and make right those you've wronged.
01:15:36.240 | If you used a corporation and you abused people,
01:15:38.660 | go and make it right.
01:15:39.540 | Though it cost you your entire fortune,
01:15:41.580 | go and make it as right as you can,
01:15:46.220 | because it's far better to be completely penniless
01:15:54.540 | and morally upright,
01:15:55.960 | and stand before God with a clear conscience,
01:15:59.500 | than to enjoy the pleasures of sinful,
01:16:03.380 | ill-begotten wealth for a season,
01:16:05.600 | and face your eternal damnation in hell.
01:16:10.140 | In 500 episodes of "Radical Personal Finance,"
01:16:18.180 | I can't remember a show
01:16:20.380 | in which I've been perhaps this intense.
01:16:24.260 | I'm seeking to speak intensely because it's that important.
01:16:28.240 | And if you want proof of it, open up your newspaper.
01:16:32.660 | Though I may die and disappear,
01:16:38.620 | and though God may judge the modern Christian church
01:16:40.940 | for our unfaithfulness in our modern era,
01:16:44.260 | you will still be exposed.
01:16:47.100 | These men and women in Hollywood,
01:16:50.380 | I hear very little Christian testimony.
01:16:54.480 | Just watch how God's using them
01:16:57.480 | to expose the evil and the sin
01:17:00.800 | that is pervasive in that community.
01:17:02.640 | If Judge Roy Moore is guilty of what is alleged against him,
01:17:09.080 | just watch how God's using a staff of reporters
01:17:14.360 | on a Washington Post news reporting team,
01:17:20.460 | which if, maybe there's a believer somewhere in that group,
01:17:24.740 | but if there is, I don't know how they keep their job.
01:17:28.180 | Look at how God is using the non-believing secular people
01:17:33.180 | that run the Washington Post
01:17:35.780 | to expose the sin of the professing Christian,
01:17:39.860 | if that is true.
01:17:42.440 | I don't know, and I want to be careful
01:17:43.980 | with my judgments I've said all the way through.
01:17:46.340 | I'm not close.
01:17:47.220 | I don't know if I'll ever know.
01:17:48.860 | Doesn't matter.
01:17:50.700 | Look at the shame.
01:17:53.380 | If those allegations against Judge Roy Moore
01:17:56.340 | are proven to be true, look at the shame,
01:18:00.060 | the shame that the church members and the friends
01:18:03.460 | and the Christians around Moore will face
01:18:07.520 | for their lack of movement and activity.
01:18:12.000 | God will use just about anybody to accomplish his purposes.
01:18:18.220 | It's a privilege to be involved in that,
01:18:20.780 | but if you don't stand up, he'll go use someone else,
01:18:25.580 | and if you don't fix it, if you don't confess it
01:18:28.580 | while you have time, the Bible says today
01:18:31.540 | is the day of salvation.
01:18:32.820 | If you do not harden your hearts,
01:18:34.760 | today is the day of salvation.
01:18:36.780 | Today is the day that you can go back
01:18:39.660 | and repent of your sins in the past
01:18:41.580 | and turn towards God and ask him for his forgiveness.
01:18:44.200 | Today is the day.
01:18:45.520 | (sniffling)
01:18:48.360 | Today.
01:18:49.200 | The longer you wait, the harder it is.
01:18:57.920 | The longer you wait, the harder it is.
01:19:02.320 | Just think about this.
01:19:05.800 | If those allegations against Judge Moore
01:19:07.880 | are proven to be true, think about the destruction
01:19:10.560 | on his family, his wife, his children, his grandchildren.
01:19:14.140 | (sniffling)
01:19:16.480 | The longer you wait, the harder it is.
01:19:23.020 | (sniffling)
01:19:26.680 | Hope you'll forgive me.
01:19:32.500 | I'm not doing this for effect.
01:19:33.740 | I didn't plan this.
01:19:38.420 | I'm just, this is.
01:19:39.340 | (sniffling)
01:19:43.040 | (crying)
01:19:45.120 | I didn't set out to preach to you.
01:20:05.000 | My friend, today is the day
01:20:11.600 | we face.
01:20:12.440 | Today is the day.
01:20:18.000 | Don't let another day pass.
01:20:21.200 | If there's something in your past, I beg you, repent.
01:20:24.640 | Don't.
01:20:26.800 | Confess to your wife, confess to your husband,
01:20:29.500 | confess to those that you've wronged.
01:20:31.120 | Make the situation right.
01:20:32.400 | It'll never get better.
01:20:34.080 | Just get, we'll get worse and worse.
01:20:35.880 | And someday, you may watch, I hope not.
01:20:41.360 | I hope, I pray that these allegations against Moore are wrong.
01:20:45.520 | I hope, I pray that they're proven wrong.
01:20:47.840 | 'Cause it's just such a deep shame if they're proven right.
01:20:51.280 | It's so deeply shameful
01:20:54.160 | to find out when somebody is out preaching publicly
01:20:58.920 | and yet they're a hypocrite.
01:21:00.640 | It's hard to think of a deeper shame than hypocrisy.
01:21:08.520 | I don't wanna see anybody's life destroyed.
01:21:11.960 | I don't wanna see Harvey Weinstein's marriage
01:21:13.920 | and his children hurt.
01:21:14.960 | I don't wanna see Judge Moore's marriage
01:21:17.000 | and his children and grandchildren hurt.
01:21:19.040 | But friends, the wages of sin is death.
01:21:24.080 | And this behavior, this sin, brings death
01:21:27.960 | and it will destroy everything.
01:21:29.700 | We live in strange times.
01:21:37.160 | I think every generation before us has felt that.
01:21:40.720 | My friend, we live in strange times.
01:21:47.440 | I cannot for the life of me figure out
01:21:49.960 | by what standard modern sexual activity is judged.
01:21:53.920 | I cannot figure it out.
01:21:55.560 | I study it and I try to think.
01:21:56.800 | I pretend, I say, okay, pretend I'm an atheist,
01:21:59.960 | pretend I'm a progressive, pretend I'm a feminist,
01:22:03.160 | pretend I'm these things and I just think and I study.
01:22:06.200 | And you know what, there are a lot of criticisms
01:22:08.320 | that are just and that are right.
01:22:10.520 | There are a lot of criticisms
01:22:11.680 | and I can see those criticisms,
01:22:13.040 | but then I go back and I say, by what standard?
01:22:15.500 | By what standard do we judge?
01:22:17.560 | And the only standard that I can come up with today
01:22:19.960 | is consent.
01:22:20.960 | Like that seems to be, in terms of the religious doctrine
01:22:25.800 | that is taught today about the appropriate
01:22:27.800 | sexual activity for men and women,
01:22:29.880 | the standard seems to be consent.
01:22:32.040 | That's it.
01:22:32.920 | As long as there are consenting people,
01:22:35.280 | consenting adults who are engaged in the sexual activity,
01:22:39.000 | everything else is possible.
01:22:40.840 | And nothing else is to be disparaged
01:22:45.000 | or come against in any way.
01:22:49.520 | So it seems to me that you're supposed to be able
01:22:52.120 | to do anything you want except consent,
01:22:53.880 | but I can't even figure out,
01:22:55.820 | I can't figure out even what consent means.
01:23:02.220 | In this sense, I read an article yesterday
01:23:04.600 | as I was reading about this.
01:23:05.560 | I read an article by a guy, I guess he was a cook,
01:23:08.400 | 'cause he was Eddie Hwang, I think it was.
01:23:12.480 | And I guess he's a celebrity in the world of cooking.
01:23:15.680 | And this article, he was talking about a sexual assault
01:23:19.000 | that he received when he was a kid,
01:23:24.000 | he went on a trip with a Baptist church group.
01:23:27.880 | And while he and a roommate of his
01:23:31.040 | were in their room, in like the camp room one night,
01:23:34.960 | a male camp counselor who was older came in
01:23:38.800 | and took a shower, came out of the shower naked
01:23:43.800 | and stood at the end of their bed,
01:23:46.480 | according to his account,
01:23:47.400 | stood at the end of their bed for 15 minutes naked
01:23:50.920 | with an erect penis reading the Bible to them.
01:23:54.100 | Now, if that's true,
01:23:55.360 | and I don't see any reason to doubt his account,
01:23:58.440 | number one, that is so utterly
01:24:00.720 | perishing and shameful that that would happen.
01:24:07.000 | And unfortunately, it's not hard to believe
01:24:09.520 | because it does happen, but it's so shameful
01:24:14.080 | that that would happen on a Baptist church group
01:24:18.640 | to a boy who doesn't even go to church,
01:24:23.640 | who was just coming along 'cause a friend said,
01:24:25.520 | "You can come along on this fun church group.
01:24:27.040 | You don't have to believe anything.
01:24:28.360 | They'll pressure you a little bit to believe."
01:24:31.000 | So it's so shameful, but I thought about that.
01:24:33.160 | And I was just thinking about his story
01:24:35.080 | and I asked myself, is that sexual assault?
01:24:37.240 | Now, it's entirely improper and it shouldn't happen.
01:24:43.200 | It's entirely immodest, but is it sexual assault?
01:24:47.080 | 'Cause he's coming out with his Me Too story
01:24:49.160 | and talking about how I was assaulted
01:24:53.000 | and I pushed the memory back
01:24:54.680 | and it's caused me fear and trauma.
01:24:56.400 | I believe that to be the case,
01:24:57.980 | but is that sexual assault?
01:25:00.280 | Well, if that's sexual assault,
01:25:01.560 | then am I not being sexually assaulted
01:25:04.760 | if I'm walking down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
01:25:07.800 | and a woman flashes me?
01:25:09.680 | Or is it that, wait a second though,
01:25:11.520 | because hold on, it's genitalia sexual assault.
01:25:15.960 | Somebody displaying genitalia,
01:25:18.200 | but displaying breasts, that's a matter of feminism, right?
01:25:23.200 | Because if men can take their shirt off,
01:25:27.000 | then women should be able to take their shirt off too
01:25:29.440 | in public and so therefore,
01:25:31.100 | the flashing of breasts is not sexual assault
01:25:33.180 | because of it's above.
01:25:34.020 | But what about the women who do body paint
01:25:36.640 | and walk down the street in body paint?
01:25:38.420 | Is that sexual assault?
01:25:39.480 | Because I can, am I being assaulted?
01:25:41.160 | Well, I don't think so,
01:25:42.160 | but I don't even know how to figure out this stuff.
01:25:47.160 | And after all, if that makes that person happy
01:25:51.480 | to expose themselves to me,
01:25:54.280 | then on what basis do I wanna deprive them
01:25:56.920 | of their happiness and their erotic fulfillment, right?
01:26:00.560 | And I thought about this in regards to the age of consent,
01:26:04.960 | right, 'cause the allegations against Judge Moore
01:26:08.240 | are about, the allegations are that he pressed himself,
01:26:13.240 | he didn't engage in sexual intercourse,
01:26:17.260 | but he fondled a girl who was 14 and pressed himself on her.
01:26:21.180 | Now, okay, so the problem there,
01:26:23.780 | is the problem the fondling
01:26:26.140 | or is the problem the consent or is the problem the age?
01:26:29.000 | I can't figure it out.
01:26:30.900 | So now I'm opposed to all of it.
01:26:32.800 | I've been clear with that,
01:26:33.900 | but let's just walk this reasoning through
01:26:36.440 | and see where this ends.
01:26:37.640 | So the basic allegation,
01:26:39.200 | the basic horror that I see expressed
01:26:41.400 | in our modern culture, modern secular culture,
01:26:43.480 | is that it's about the age of consent.
01:26:45.400 | This was a 14-year-old and allegedly with an older man.
01:26:50.400 | Okay, I agree.
01:26:52.280 | An older man should not, there should be no sex.
01:26:57.100 | That's the thing.
01:26:57.940 | My way is much simpler.
01:26:58.860 | By the way, if I can ever convert you
01:27:00.420 | to come and think like I do,
01:27:01.380 | it's much simpler when you just say,
01:27:02.940 | man, woman, married, great, enjoy sex.
01:27:07.100 | Man, woman, not married, no sex.
01:27:10.180 | It's very simple.
01:27:11.220 | I don't believe it just 'cause it's simple,
01:27:12.660 | but that's a little simpler way to figure it out.
01:27:15.540 | So I thought about age of consent and I thought,
01:27:17.500 | well, we all agree, right,
01:27:19.460 | 'cause a 32-year-old man and a 14-year-old girl,
01:27:22.280 | there's a power imbalance,
01:27:23.720 | and so can a 14-year-old girl accurately give herself,
01:27:27.240 | give up control, accurately give herself up sexually
01:27:31.180 | to somebody who's 32 years old?
01:27:32.820 | Okay, well, I'm with you on that.
01:27:34.820 | But then the question is,
01:27:36.220 | is a 14-year-old's judgment questionable?
01:27:41.220 | Well, if a 14-year-old's judgment
01:27:43.820 | about their ability to give consent is questionable,
01:27:47.180 | then why are we giving explicit sex education
01:27:51.060 | and passing out condoms
01:27:53.380 | to children younger than 14 years old?
01:27:55.560 | If a 14-year-old's judgment is questionable
01:27:58.800 | when confronted with a 32-year-old man,
01:28:01.540 | does it make it right
01:28:02.660 | if she actually wants to be with a 32-year-old man?
01:28:05.140 | And if it's not right, then why is it not right?
01:28:07.380 | But if her judgment is questionable about consent,
01:28:10.100 | then what about some of the other,
01:28:13.460 | when I was 13 years old, I was a pretty big guy.
01:28:16.380 | I was a lot bigger than a lot of the girls
01:28:18.340 | that I interacted with, I always have been.
01:28:20.500 | So if the age of consent is about fear and intimidation
01:28:23.620 | from an older person,
01:28:24.460 | then it shouldn't be based on size and coercion.
01:28:27.020 | I never had sex when I was 13 years old, thank God.
01:28:30.100 | But if I had, then the modern culture would say,
01:28:33.580 | well, that's okay if you're with a 13-year-old girl.
01:28:36.980 | But is it really okay if the 14-year,
01:28:39.700 | I'm getting mixed up on my age, but you get the idea.
01:28:42.980 | What does it matter, age of consent?
01:28:44.940 | Does it matter among children?
01:28:46.060 | And why are we teaching children to have sex,
01:28:47.940 | but use a condom and have safe sex?
01:28:49.620 | And here's how you have anal sex.
01:28:51.460 | So it's just, it's weird.
01:28:54.060 | It doesn't make any sense.
01:28:55.700 | Or is the standard desire,
01:28:59.540 | the number one biggest driver that I can discern
01:29:02.380 | from the modern philosophy that is preached to me
01:29:05.380 | is that whatever I wanna do in consent is fine.
01:29:08.460 | Okay, then why would it be wrong for an older man
01:29:10.980 | who desires a younger girl,
01:29:12.340 | and a younger girl who desires an older man
01:29:14.180 | to have sexual contact if they're giving consent?
01:29:18.220 | And especially if we consider that a 13-year-old boy
01:29:21.020 | or girl is at an age with sexual,
01:29:24.620 | like they're sexually mature, and yet...
01:29:26.740 | Anyway, no doubt I've backed myself into a corner here
01:29:32.580 | with this final little words.
01:29:35.140 | But it just, this is so utterly destructive.
01:29:38.980 | And we're gonna bear the pain of this
01:29:41.700 | for an ongoing period of time.
01:29:43.060 | We already are, we've already borne the pain
01:29:45.820 | of these things so far.
01:29:50.180 | So my plea for you, forgive me if I went off rambling,
01:29:55.180 | my plea for you is this.
01:29:56.820 | Protect yourself because it's morally right.
01:30:01.180 | And you'll enjoy the benefits of being protected
01:30:07.740 | from having your career destroyed with sexual scandal.
01:30:12.340 | Number two, if you see evil around you,
01:30:16.380 | expose it to the light so that it can be dealt with.
01:30:20.340 | Number three, if there is sin in your past,
01:30:25.380 | repent from your sin and make it right.
01:30:27.860 | Go and make it right, repent towards God,
01:30:31.620 | and go and perform deeds of repentance
01:30:34.580 | towards the people that you have wronged.
01:30:37.060 | 'Cause it will come out, and it will come out
01:30:38.980 | at the most inconvenient time
01:30:41.620 | if you don't deal with it now.
01:30:43.260 | I hope that this has been helpful to you.
01:30:47.780 | I hope that, I've demonstrated that this does have
01:30:52.780 | deep financial impact,
01:30:55.680 | and which is why I'm placing it here
01:31:01.420 | on Radical Personal Finance for you.
01:31:03.220 | And one comment I had recently,
01:31:07.180 | and this'll be my closing thought.
01:31:10.580 | Probably pretty frequently,
01:31:11.980 | I set out just to create the show for you,
01:31:17.220 | and sometimes, a lot of times,
01:31:19.220 | it seems like when I wind up reading Bible passages to you,
01:31:23.020 | I'm dealing with sexuality.
01:31:26.420 | I'm gonna change that in the future.
01:31:28.880 | Because one of the things that is so important
01:31:32.980 | is that the Bible talks about different sins.
01:31:38.120 | But as an example, in 1 Corinthians 6,
01:31:43.120 | let me just read this to you.
01:31:44.600 | And I've read this before,
01:31:46.000 | but I just wanna make one point here
01:31:47.780 | with regard to the importance of things like greed
01:31:50.920 | and covetousness, which deeply impact money.
01:31:54.080 | Bible says, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous
01:31:56.040 | "will not inherit the kingdom of God?
01:31:58.180 | "Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral,
01:32:01.760 | "nor idolaters, nor adulterers,
01:32:04.940 | "nor men who practice homosexuality,
01:32:07.520 | "nor thieves, nor the greedy,
01:32:10.040 | "nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers,
01:32:13.680 | "will inherit the kingdom of God.
01:32:15.920 | "And such were some of you, but you were washed,
01:32:18.320 | "you were sanctified, you were justified
01:32:20.060 | "in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ
01:32:21.560 | "and by the Spirit of our God."
01:32:23.240 | My point with reading that is,
01:32:24.760 | in our modern kind of like super sexualized culture,
01:32:28.100 | every time, when I've read that scripture
01:32:30.680 | in the past one time about drunkenness,
01:32:32.240 | and I received an email filled with people saying,
01:32:35.040 | "Joshua, how could you say that about homosexuals,
01:32:37.780 | "men who practice homosexuality?"
01:32:40.480 | I just thought, like, I just read the verse.
01:32:42.680 | But you know what I never hear?
01:32:45.640 | I never hear someone that says, "Joshua,
01:32:47.680 | "how could you say that about thieves?
01:32:49.340 | "How could you say that about the greedy?
01:32:51.300 | "How could you say that about swindlers?"
01:32:54.860 | The reason why is because those battles
01:32:58.360 | have been fought in past cultures.
01:33:01.200 | In the modern United States of America,
01:33:03.080 | because of our Christian heritage,
01:33:05.440 | every single one of us will rightly stand up
01:33:09.000 | and condemn thievery and greediness and swindlers.
01:33:14.000 | Our laws reflect it, our society reflects it as well.
01:33:19.720 | It was not always that way.
01:33:21.860 | That has been some hard work by people that came before
01:33:27.560 | to convert past cultures and to establish
01:33:31.040 | upright standards of righteousness and justice
01:33:33.920 | as related to swindling and thieves and greedy people.
01:33:38.440 | But today, our discussion somehow seems to be
01:33:44.480 | related to sex and homosexuality and sexual immorality
01:33:49.480 | and all of this stuff.
01:33:52.000 | Now, my price for sharing this show with you
01:33:56.840 | is going to be an email filled with angry listeners.
01:34:01.080 | I feel I've satisfied my conscience
01:34:03.120 | by giving you a fair warning up front.
01:34:04.760 | You're voluntarily choosing to listen to
01:34:06.760 | a freely offered audio file.
01:34:11.100 | But I want to just make one comment to you.
01:34:14.080 | I don't actually think much, personally,
01:34:20.080 | about sexual matters.
01:34:22.120 | I'm married, I have a beautiful wife,
01:34:23.800 | I enjoy sex with my wife, and I'm happy
01:34:28.100 | to basically ignore everything else
01:34:29.920 | and just focus on my wife and my children and my own life.
01:34:33.160 | Pretty happy to do that.
01:34:34.660 | I'm not the one bringing this stuff up.
01:34:38.800 | And I think I'm just speaking here,
01:34:40.200 | if you wonder why, and we often get the questions,
01:34:43.960 | Christians, why do you Christians talk about sex so much?
01:34:47.560 | I didn't put sex on the front page of the newspaper.
01:34:49.720 | I am putting it here, obviously.
01:34:51.840 | It was one episode out of 500 or whatever
01:34:54.260 | on Radical Personal Finance.
01:34:56.080 | But I didn't put it on the front page of the newspaper.
01:34:59.160 | But whatever's there, we gotta deal with.
01:35:01.200 | Thank you very much for listening.
01:35:04.640 | I hope that you've sensed, just my heart for you,
01:35:08.840 | my desire to, together, see justice accomplished,
01:35:13.080 | see victims exonerated, to see the immoral
01:35:18.080 | and the sinners and the criminals face
01:35:22.300 | the proper judgment for their behavior,
01:35:25.400 | and to see, collectively, to see us move forward
01:35:28.600 | into lives filled with justice and with peace on all sides,
01:35:33.080 | where people are protected from predators
01:35:37.320 | and where people are honored for the,
01:35:41.160 | I can't do anything but use the language,
01:35:47.080 | the Christian language, the Bible language,
01:35:48.840 | because it's the only thing that connects these things.
01:35:51.520 | I wanna see you honored as an image-bearer of God.
01:35:57.720 | And I wanna see your worth protected and respected,
01:36:02.200 | and to see you honored and lifted up in dignity.
01:36:04.960 | That's what I wanna see.
01:36:08.880 | Thank you for listening.
01:36:12.840 | - [Announcer] Struggling with your electric bill?
01:36:15.120 | Get an energy assist from SDG&E and save.
01:36:18.400 | You may qualify for an 18% discount.
01:36:21.880 | Visit sdge.com/fera to find out more.