back to indexRPF0457-Celebrating_a_New_Baby
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Welcome to Radical Personal Finance, the show dedicated to providing you with the knowledge, 00:00:04.760 |
skills, insight, and encouragement you need to live a rich and meaningful life now while 00:00:08.880 |
building a plan for financial freedom in ten years or less. 00:00:11.960 |
Today I probably should just skip that intro and say hello, my friends, because I don't 00:00:17.080 |
have a show here, just a couple of minutes of me chatting. 00:00:22.520 |
Just simply wanted to get on here and explain myself of where I've been the last few days 00:00:27.360 |
and also update you, my listening friends and listening family here at the Radical Personal 00:00:32.280 |
Finance community, to say that my wife and I invite you to rejoice with us in the birth 00:00:40.520 |
We've been celebrating here the birth of a brand new baby boy. 00:00:47.520 |
And so we have been rejoicing here in the Sheets household and also adjusting. 00:00:53.560 |
Anytime you have the birth of a new child, it takes a period of adjustment. 00:00:57.360 |
So that's the basic announcement for you to know. 00:01:00.720 |
And I want to just again invite you to rejoice with us. 00:01:05.240 |
And it's also the explanation for a little bit of my – after a period of a lot of consistency 00:01:14.700 |
It's also a reason for kind of the ups and downs. 00:01:18.120 |
Frankly, I have various show outlines that have been swirling around in my head that 00:01:24.960 |
I've had show outlines called What I Love About Working From Home and What I Hate About 00:01:30.200 |
I've wanted to get that show done for a while. 00:01:33.440 |
Another show has been All the Ways to Save Money on Birthing Without Endangering the 00:01:38.400 |
Life of Your Spouse or Your Baby and various other things like that. 00:01:44.640 |
But I'm just not prepared to go through those right now. 00:01:47.400 |
I don't have the mental clarity to do a good job on those shows. 00:01:51.140 |
But I will say this, that one of the favorite things that I have – one of my favorite 00:01:56.280 |
things about the lifestyle that my wife and I have chosen with my ability to work from 00:02:00.840 |
home and to be near home really comes out in times like this where as we've worked 00:02:08.040 |
towards the birth and those last few weeks of pregnancy which are the most difficult 00:02:12.520 |
– often the most difficult weeks of pregnancy and then also the birth and then the first 00:02:18.480 |
few weeks after birth, I really appreciate the opportunity that I have to be with my 00:02:25.560 |
family, to be near to my family and to have a pretty flexible schedule. 00:02:30.280 |
I know that when I don't publish a show, I know that I leave some of you hanging and 00:02:38.880 |
But I also know that you're probably not going to come and beat my front door down 00:02:43.720 |
I know that I can be flexible and free to focus on my family which is a very high priority 00:02:50.480 |
for me and I really, really appreciate about that. 00:02:52.520 |
I do just want to say thank you because I couldn't do it without your listening. 00:03:00.720 |
This time around, I've tried to be very available here in my family partly because 00:03:06.600 |
it's one of my regrets about the birth of our last child. 00:03:10.160 |
Our last child was born a couple of years ago and during that period of time, I had 00:03:14.400 |
just launched Radical Personal Finance on a full-time basis. 00:03:18.320 |
I was thick in the middle of working and doing the show and a whole bunch of other things 00:03:24.680 |
So, it was that time I took very little time after the birth for any kind of special family 00:03:33.000 |
So, this time, I've been trying to take a little bit more time and really build some 00:03:36.760 |
memories and love and support my wife and children during this period. 00:03:43.880 |
Birth went well and I probably should do an entire episode on some of the things relating 00:03:55.840 |
Not ready to do that today but if you would like, go back and listen to episode 212 of 00:04:02.520 |
That was a joint episode that my wife and I did together after the birth of our second 00:04:08.360 |
We talked about – that episode was titled "Comments We Had a Baby Girl, Comments on 00:04:12.600 |
Preparing for Childbirth with Mrs. RPF Herself." 00:04:15.920 |
So if you're interested in hearing my wife and her voice and some of the things relating 00:04:19.700 |
to that second birth, that episode is out there, episode 212 of Radical Personal Finance. 00:04:27.520 |
We recommend that to you not just as a money-saving technique, obviously, before the emails start 00:04:34.440 |
Obviously, saving money is not a primary goal during birthing. 00:04:40.160 |
The safety and health and well-being of my wife and our children is the primary goal. 00:04:45.800 |
But as a nice benefit, one great thing is that home birthing is very economically viable 00:04:51.600 |
and probably much more important because I would pay extra to do it the way that we've 00:04:56.320 |
done it and we've been blessed to have low-risk pregnancies, which is a real benefit. 00:05:00.400 |
Not everybody can effectively and safely plan for home birth. 00:05:05.200 |
But one of the benefits of it is just a much better experience. 00:05:07.560 |
My wife and I, after every baby, we have looked at each other and just thought, "Man, this 00:05:13.680 |
was such a great experience to be able to be together, she and I fully involved in the 00:05:21.080 |
childbirth process, to be able to be at home in our comfortable surroundings where you 00:05:26.120 |
can make the environment the way that you want it to be, to be able to have full control 00:05:31.480 |
and full authority over how you want to birth, not to have a bunch of people in uniforms 00:05:40.880 |
bustling in and out and disrupting things and telling you, "Sit here, stand there, do 00:05:46.840 |
We've worked with a midwife who helps out with some of the helpful medical things to 00:05:52.400 |
make sure that baby's doing okay and that mom is doing okay. 00:05:55.020 |
But other than that, midwives generally don't operate with the same authoritarian mindset 00:05:59.700 |
that a physician staff and nurse staff does in a hospital. 00:06:04.560 |
So we've just thoroughly loved the experience of having our babies at home, would highly 00:06:09.320 |
recommend it to you if you have any interest or have done any research. 00:06:13.640 |
We've found the process to be extremely, extremely rewarding. 00:06:20.080 |
And this third child was absolutely that way. 00:06:24.160 |
And I tell you what, for all of you men and dads, for women I know that bearing a child 00:06:33.320 |
It's one of those major things that separates the girls from the boys, to be able to have 00:06:37.600 |
a baby and to hold life in your hand and to recognize the fact that your body created 00:06:42.500 |
that is extraordinarily beautiful and empowering and precious. 00:06:46.640 |
And as a husband and as a father, I'll tell you this, for those of you aspiring husbands 00:06:51.880 |
or aspiring fathers or who will face that in the future, if you want to feel like a 00:06:58.840 |
Work with your wife and deliver your own child. 00:07:01.160 |
Having done it three times now, I found it to be a very just empowering thing. 00:07:05.720 |
And my wife and I really treasure the memories of the births of our children. 00:07:14.600 |
After this was our third baby, we feel like we're – at least I do feel like I'm getting 00:07:22.040 |
But with this one, I was much more relaxed, was able to really – third time around makes 00:07:30.200 |
A little backup career if I ever have a problem. 00:07:32.840 |
Male midwives are not common in the United States but you never know. 00:07:35.840 |
I know that in Europe they seem to be more common than they are here. 00:07:38.640 |
So maybe there's a new market for me, the big hairy bearded male midwife as a backup 00:07:53.480 |
Obviously, when you're on call, you're just like an obstetrician. 00:07:59.320 |
But you have some freedom and flexibility with your daily schedule. 00:08:13.520 |
Healthy nine-pound baby boy, he's doing very well and we're very thrilled. 00:08:19.400 |
We've been praying and praying and praying for a happy baby. 00:08:22.400 |
Our first two babies were just miserable as babies, absolutely miserable. 00:08:27.000 |
The second one, even more so than the first one we thought was bad and the second one 00:08:46.200 |
It basically just means her digestive system didn't work and the stomach acid would come 00:08:51.240 |
up out of her stomach and burn her esophagus. 00:08:55.640 |
There was very little that the pediatrician could do. 00:08:58.960 |
You just basically had to wait until they grow out of it. 00:09:00.560 |
But it made for an extremely difficult and very trying first few months. 00:09:05.960 |
We are rejoicing that this baby is happy and contented and we are thrilled with his arrival. 00:09:13.340 |
Just working on his integration into the family. 00:09:16.080 |
Another tip for those of you who are new parents. 00:09:26.480 |
My wife and I, we've developed our standard little speech to give to prospective parents 00:09:34.320 |
And I'll give it to you here as my listening friends and family. 00:09:38.060 |
Just simply to say, one of the most important things is to recognize that it's important 00:09:44.400 |
If you're preparing for your first child or beyond your first child, preparing for 00:09:55.960 |
There are plenty of people that want to tell you stories and give you advice. 00:09:59.200 |
There's lots of things out there that you can study. 00:10:02.960 |
The thing that caught my wife and me blindsided, that blindsided us on the birth of our first 00:10:07.920 |
baby and even as we were talking with our chiropractor on the birth of her baby, the 00:10:14.080 |
thing that really blindsided us was recognizing how difficult it can be in the first days 00:10:24.240 |
I know I talked about that with the physician that I interviewed last week. 00:10:30.680 |
And breastfeeding is, Marilyn, I forget her last name, breastfeeding can be very difficult 00:10:38.080 |
Babies, for those of you who are not parents, the common joke to make to new parents is, 00:10:47.480 |
Most people make it with the best of intentions because they mean the best. 00:10:54.480 |
People who aren't parents don't know what else to say to parents and so they talk about 00:11:00.320 |
But the reason that new parents' sleep schedules get mixed up is very simple. 00:11:05.480 |
Babies' tummies are really small and babies can't go more than a few hours or they shouldn't 00:11:14.400 |
Some people, if your baby is not waking up in the night to eat, that's a problem. 00:11:19.440 |
You need to set a timer and get yourself up and wake the baby up. 00:11:24.000 |
It's very important in the first few days and weeks of a new baby's life to do that 00:11:28.840 |
If your baby doesn't want to wake up, you need to wake them up to make sure that they 00:11:33.360 |
So that just leads to disrupted sleep schedules where instead of getting a full night, you 00:11:38.240 |
wind up getting snatches of sleep here and there. 00:11:41.200 |
And it's just very challenging in those first few weeks. 00:11:45.780 |
We are enjoying the process and really enjoying the addition of this new baby but still focusing 00:11:51.840 |
on doing very little work and trying to spend all of my time maintaining and building back 00:11:59.440 |
and getting the family back on schedule and back into a really workable routine. 00:12:06.160 |
In other news, I'll go ahead and just make this a stream of consciousness report related 00:12:13.840 |
My oldest child, my son, has successfully made his first investment. 00:12:20.560 |
So of course being Mr. Radical Personal Finance, I'm very proud of him. 00:12:24.320 |
In short, and at some point, I've got a book outline written on this. 00:12:28.880 |
We'll see if I can get the project finished at some point. 00:12:31.840 |
But in short, he has been accumulating his money steadily. 00:12:37.760 |
He is three years, three and a half years old at this point. 00:12:41.200 |
And I've struggled with a lot of different approaches as far as should you give a child 00:12:47.960 |
In general, I'm opposed to the giving of an allowance primarily because it sounds a lot 00:12:55.980 |
It sounds a lot like an entitlement mentality. 00:12:58.520 |
That said, I have chosen up till now to go ahead and to give my son an allowance. 00:13:06.840 |
I intend to cut it off as soon as he is able to work and earn money reliably by the sweat 00:13:15.060 |
So I'm picturing that being around six or seven years old, something like that. 00:13:19.800 |
And the theory that I have behind this at the moment is that I want him to become accustomed 00:13:25.880 |
to handling money so that it's a natural and normal thing. 00:13:30.760 |
And I just can't come up with any way for him to handle money on his own unless it comes 00:13:39.920 |
And I want him to have practice of handling money from a very early age. 00:13:44.200 |
So what I've done up till now is, I think I started when he turned three, is I have 00:13:49.400 |
given him a three-quarter per week allowance, so 75 cents a week. 00:13:53.480 |
Yes, I know I'm overly generous with my child, but hey, it adds up quick if you have it in 00:14:06.520 |
And then what he does is he has three – well, they're Ziploc bags is what we use. 00:14:12.480 |
One is for saving, one is for investing and one is – sorry. 00:14:15.240 |
One is for spending, one is for investing and one is for giving. 00:14:19.120 |
And so each week, he puts a quarter into each of those bags. 00:14:25.040 |
If he's going to have money, no money should come into or out of his hands that's not 00:14:30.160 |
Fundamental rule of radical personal finance is that every dollar coming in and every dollar 00:14:35.220 |
So we have little ledgers on the cards and of course I write it for him. 00:14:38.360 |
But I explain to him and we keep a running tally of each bag. 00:14:41.560 |
And as he finds money on the street, I encourage him to find money and to put that money in 00:14:50.720 |
And so every time he receives money, we divide it into three. 00:14:54.120 |
And I found this to be – so far, I'm really happy with the decision I've made to pursue 00:14:59.440 |
It helps a lot for – I have found as a young father, it helps a lot for your child to have 00:15:07.500 |
That way, it gives you a good way to divert some of the requests for things. 00:15:14.520 |
A lot of the things that he sees that he'd like to buy, the monster truck or the things 00:15:19.400 |
in the stores then allows me to go back to, "Oh, well, do you have enough money saved 00:15:29.800 |
I remember some months ago, he was very excited. 00:15:32.800 |
He went and bought his first Hot Wheels car all with his own dollar. 00:15:38.960 |
So he's been doing some purchases on the spending category. 00:15:43.160 |
But we were struggling with the investing category. 00:15:46.680 |
How do you teach an almost four-year-old to invest their money in such a way that they'll 00:15:53.400 |
understand and gain the concept of investing but to do it with a couple or $3 budget? 00:16:05.240 |
How do you profitably invest $3 or $4 in a way that's useful? 00:16:09.480 |
You can't go and buy a stock for a four-year-old. 00:16:13.160 |
They can't do complex mathematics and work a compound interest chart at this point in 00:16:19.120 |
So I've kept my eyes open and I posted this question in the Radical Personal Finance Facebook 00:16:24.000 |
And some listeners had some great suggestions. 00:16:26.300 |
But this last week, he had the opportunity to buy some honey. 00:16:32.740 |
So he bought some honey from some family members who were in the honey business. 00:16:36.360 |
And he bought it at wholesale, little mini bears. 00:16:42.880 |
And so he bought five little honey bears from his family members at wholesale. 00:16:48.360 |
And he turned around and as people have been coming to our house to rejoice with us and 00:16:53.040 |
bring us food after the birth of our baby and see the new baby and everything, he has 00:16:57.040 |
been selling them honey, which warms my little heart to see a little salesman going out there 00:17:03.760 |
and in complete innocence say, "I'm here to try to sell you some honey. 00:17:10.800 |
He sold all five of his honey bears, doubled up his money, and he's rolling in the dough. 00:17:15.560 |
So we made a little ledger for the investment, showed him his profit, put the seed capital 00:17:22.120 |
back in, split the profit out into the three categories. 00:17:27.480 |
I was just enjoying the fact that he – and he enjoyed the process. 00:17:33.800 |
It's just very rewarding as a father to see just the innocence of a child. 00:17:39.360 |
And yet I know the lessons that he's learning, the lessons of selling. 00:17:45.000 |
Learned to take rejection at an early age, learning to have success. 00:17:50.240 |
He doesn't quite – can't work all the math on the quarters and the dollar bills 00:17:53.720 |
and the profit and a lot of it is over his head. 00:17:56.200 |
But I'm really happy with the progress that he's making. 00:17:59.160 |
So I've really been enjoying that the last few days. 00:18:02.720 |
And it has also amply demonstrated to me once again that profits are better than wages. 00:18:11.600 |
I think it's very important for children to earn wages, not to be exclusively focused 00:18:17.760 |
I think that if a child doesn't master the skill of work, hard work, diligent work, work 00:18:23.800 |
for other people, it's my opinion that they miss out on some very important lessons. 00:18:30.000 |
That said, profits are better than wages as Jim Rohn used to remind us so consistently. 00:18:35.740 |
Profits are better than wages and just seeing how he's been able to turn his quarter a 00:18:40.080 |
week income into – and a $5 investment where he doubled up in one day, doubled up to $10 00:18:51.520 |
I was refreshed on some of my own lessons on finance just in watching that. 00:18:57.640 |
And we have lots more lessons planned for him. 00:18:59.480 |
Of course, I'm taking good notes so that I can pass along. 00:19:02.520 |
And here, for free, here, for free, I'll finish out my kind of economic theory on children 00:19:07.700 |
since I talked about allowances and then with that, I'll wrap up this ramble. 00:19:13.340 |
My theory is at this stage, I want to give him money so that he has practice handling 00:19:20.220 |
There's so much value in every week taking these quarters, setting them aside, putting 00:19:23.280 |
them in the investing, putting them in the spending, putting them in the giving. 00:19:27.400 |
It gives him opportunities to look for how can he give money away. 00:19:31.100 |
How do you give away meaningfully $5 in a way that a child is going to understand what 00:19:43.640 |
But over time, naturally, the slow accumulation of money is delayed gratification. 00:19:49.140 |
So he's learning the skill of delaying gratification for things he wants. 00:19:53.820 |
He's learning to understand how much things cost. 00:19:57.040 |
For example, we go to Costco and he has his eyes on the $200 drive-around cars. 00:20:01.560 |
Well, if he gets one of those, it's going to come out of dad's pocketbook or grandparent's 00:20:09.680 |
But it helps him to see the scale of how much money different things cost. 00:20:16.040 |
And so I'm really pleased with that and then the investing as well. 00:20:23.120 |
But my theory is that by giving him an allowance until he can work and earn wages, then that 00:20:29.960 |
will help him to build the skills of money management so that it will be second nature. 00:20:35.240 |
I want to start young so that it's second nature to him. 00:20:38.500 |
Then when he's able to work, I don't know the age. 00:20:42.560 |
But my guess is seven, eight, nine, ten years old where he'll start to be more of a help 00:20:47.360 |
and not a hindrance and we can arrange little jobs whether it's cutting grandma's yard 00:20:51.880 |
or whether it's cleaning the toilets for the man next door or whatever those circumstances 00:20:59.400 |
Then at that point, my plan is to discontinue the allowance or change its character because 00:21:08.960 |
the third phase, or at least keep the allowance so small that it's relatively meaningless 00:21:13.880 |
compared to what he can earn from working to find out that working is how you earn money. 00:21:22.320 |
Money doesn't just come and flow to you in checks that show up for your existing. 00:21:28.360 |
But then the third phase, of course, is my hope is that a lot of the expenses that I 00:21:34.680 |
as a parent owe to my child just simply for my parental duty for their care, that I'll 00:21:43.840 |
For example, I think that there's no reason why a 12-year-old shouldn't be responsible 00:21:51.560 |
My intention is to figure out what is an appropriate budget at that point in time for a child to 00:21:58.800 |
spend on a child's clothing, to lay out the appropriate standards for the child's clothing 00:22:04.280 |
Here are our parental standards for the type of clothing we wear." 00:22:07.480 |
Then hopefully by that time, we'll have taught him how to shop. 00:22:11.600 |
Here's what you get if you shop in this manner. 00:22:13.320 |
Here's what you get if you do this other thing, et cetera, and to transition the budget over. 00:22:17.480 |
He will still have income coming in from me, but it'll be income that's responsible to 00:22:25.980 |
So I'll expand on all this in the future, but spend a lot of time thinking about it, 00:22:30.360 |
reading what other parents have done, learning from what has gone well, et cetera, and that's 00:22:34.040 |
where I'm at at the moment, subject to change. 00:22:36.360 |
So that's a little insight into Joshua's week. 00:22:42.480 |
I'll be back with you as soon as I can, but number one priority right now is my wife and 00:22:49.400 |
So with that, I'm going to end today's show and get back to it. 00:22:54.960 |
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