RPF0457-Celebrating_a_New_Baby
00:00:00.000 | Welcome to Radical Personal Finance, the show dedicated to providing you with the knowledge,
00:00:04.760 | skills, insight, and encouragement you need to live a rich and meaningful life now while
00:00:08.880 | building a plan for financial freedom in ten years or less.
00:00:11.960 | Today I probably should just skip that intro and say hello, my friends, because I don't
00:00:17.080 | have a show here, just a couple of minutes of me chatting.
00:00:20.520 | I don't have an outline.
00:00:21.520 | I don't have a script.
00:00:22.520 | Just simply wanted to get on here and explain myself of where I've been the last few days
00:00:27.360 | and also update you, my listening friends and listening family here at the Radical Personal
00:00:32.280 | Finance community, to say that my wife and I invite you to rejoice with us in the birth
00:00:38.920 | of our new baby.
00:00:40.520 | We've been celebrating here the birth of a brand new baby boy.
00:00:43.520 | A mama is doing well.
00:00:45.260 | Our son is doing very well.
00:00:47.520 | And so we have been rejoicing here in the Sheets household and also adjusting.
00:00:52.000 | Those two things come together.
00:00:53.560 | Anytime you have the birth of a new child, it takes a period of adjustment.
00:00:57.360 | So that's the basic announcement for you to know.
00:01:00.720 | And I want to just again invite you to rejoice with us.
00:01:03.420 | Everyone is doing well.
00:01:05.240 | And it's also the explanation for a little bit of my – after a period of a lot of consistency
00:01:13.700 | here in the show.
00:01:14.700 | It's also a reason for kind of the ups and downs.
00:01:18.120 | Frankly, I have various show outlines that have been swirling around in my head that
00:01:23.000 | I thought about trying to integrate today.
00:01:24.960 | I've had show outlines called What I Love About Working From Home and What I Hate About
00:01:29.200 | Working From Home.
00:01:30.200 | I've wanted to get that show done for a while.
00:01:33.440 | Another show has been All the Ways to Save Money on Birthing Without Endangering the
00:01:38.400 | Life of Your Spouse or Your Baby and various other things like that.
00:01:44.640 | But I'm just not prepared to go through those right now.
00:01:47.400 | I don't have the mental clarity to do a good job on those shows.
00:01:51.140 | But I will say this, that one of the favorite things that I have – one of my favorite
00:01:56.280 | things about the lifestyle that my wife and I have chosen with my ability to work from
00:02:00.840 | home and to be near home really comes out in times like this where as we've worked
00:02:08.040 | towards the birth and those last few weeks of pregnancy which are the most difficult
00:02:12.520 | – often the most difficult weeks of pregnancy and then also the birth and then the first
00:02:18.480 | few weeks after birth, I really appreciate the opportunity that I have to be with my
00:02:25.560 | family, to be near to my family and to have a pretty flexible schedule.
00:02:30.280 | I know that when I don't publish a show, I know that I leave some of you hanging and
00:02:34.700 | with a boring commute.
00:02:36.280 | I appreciate that.
00:02:37.280 | I'm sorry about that.
00:02:38.880 | But I also know that you're probably not going to come and beat my front door down
00:02:42.000 | with pitchforks and torches.
00:02:43.720 | I know that I can be flexible and free to focus on my family which is a very high priority
00:02:50.480 | for me and I really, really appreciate about that.
00:02:52.520 | I do just want to say thank you because I couldn't do it without your listening.
00:02:55.640 | I couldn't do it without your support.
00:02:57.240 | I wouldn't have the opportunity for that.
00:03:00.720 | This time around, I've tried to be very available here in my family partly because
00:03:06.600 | it's one of my regrets about the birth of our last child.
00:03:10.160 | Our last child was born a couple of years ago and during that period of time, I had
00:03:14.400 | just launched Radical Personal Finance on a full-time basis.
00:03:18.320 | I was thick in the middle of working and doing the show and a whole bunch of other things
00:03:23.680 | going on.
00:03:24.680 | So, it was that time I took very little time after the birth for any kind of special family
00:03:31.320 | bonding, family adventures, etc.
00:03:33.000 | So, this time, I've been trying to take a little bit more time and really build some
00:03:36.760 | memories and love and support my wife and children during this period.
00:03:41.480 | So that explains a little bit of my absence.
00:03:43.880 | Birth went well and I probably should do an entire episode on some of the things relating
00:03:53.480 | to finances and birth.
00:03:55.840 | Not ready to do that today but if you would like, go back and listen to episode 212 of
00:04:01.000 | Radical Personal Finance.
00:04:02.520 | That was a joint episode that my wife and I did together after the birth of our second
00:04:07.360 | child.
00:04:08.360 | We talked about – that episode was titled "Comments We Had a Baby Girl, Comments on
00:04:12.600 | Preparing for Childbirth with Mrs. RPF Herself."
00:04:15.920 | So if you're interested in hearing my wife and her voice and some of the things relating
00:04:19.700 | to that second birth, that episode is out there, episode 212 of Radical Personal Finance.
00:04:25.800 | We had a home birth this time.
00:04:27.520 | We recommend that to you not just as a money-saving technique, obviously, before the emails start
00:04:33.440 | flooding in.
00:04:34.440 | Obviously, saving money is not a primary goal during birthing.
00:04:40.160 | The safety and health and well-being of my wife and our children is the primary goal.
00:04:45.800 | But as a nice benefit, one great thing is that home birthing is very economically viable
00:04:51.600 | and probably much more important because I would pay extra to do it the way that we've
00:04:56.320 | done it and we've been blessed to have low-risk pregnancies, which is a real benefit.
00:05:00.400 | Not everybody can effectively and safely plan for home birth.
00:05:05.200 | But one of the benefits of it is just a much better experience.
00:05:07.560 | My wife and I, after every baby, we have looked at each other and just thought, "Man, this
00:05:13.680 | was such a great experience to be able to be together, she and I fully involved in the
00:05:21.080 | childbirth process, to be able to be at home in our comfortable surroundings where you
00:05:26.120 | can make the environment the way that you want it to be, to be able to have full control
00:05:31.480 | and full authority over how you want to birth, not to have a bunch of people in uniforms
00:05:40.880 | bustling in and out and disrupting things and telling you, "Sit here, stand there, do
00:05:45.840 | this, do that."
00:05:46.840 | We've worked with a midwife who helps out with some of the helpful medical things to
00:05:52.400 | make sure that baby's doing okay and that mom is doing okay.
00:05:55.020 | But other than that, midwives generally don't operate with the same authoritarian mindset
00:05:59.700 | that a physician staff and nurse staff does in a hospital.
00:06:04.560 | So we've just thoroughly loved the experience of having our babies at home, would highly
00:06:09.320 | recommend it to you if you have any interest or have done any research.
00:06:13.640 | We've found the process to be extremely, extremely rewarding.
00:06:20.080 | And this third child was absolutely that way.
00:06:24.160 | And I tell you what, for all of you men and dads, for women I know that bearing a child
00:06:29.560 | can be an extremely empowering thing.
00:06:33.320 | It's one of those major things that separates the girls from the boys, to be able to have
00:06:37.600 | a baby and to hold life in your hand and to recognize the fact that your body created
00:06:42.500 | that is extraordinarily beautiful and empowering and precious.
00:06:46.640 | And as a husband and as a father, I'll tell you this, for those of you aspiring husbands
00:06:51.880 | or aspiring fathers or who will face that in the future, if you want to feel like a
00:06:57.040 | man, deliver your own child.
00:06:58.840 | Work with your wife and deliver your own child.
00:07:01.160 | Having done it three times now, I found it to be a very just empowering thing.
00:07:05.720 | And my wife and I really treasure the memories of the births of our children.
00:07:14.600 | After this was our third baby, we feel like we're – at least I do feel like I'm getting
00:07:18.680 | a little bit more of the groove.
00:07:20.320 | Every childbirth is different.
00:07:22.040 | But with this one, I was much more relaxed, was able to really – third time around makes
00:07:27.200 | it a lot easier than the first time.
00:07:28.400 | I tell people I'm practically a midwife now.
00:07:30.200 | A little backup career if I ever have a problem.
00:07:32.840 | Male midwives are not common in the United States but you never know.
00:07:35.840 | I know that in Europe they seem to be more common than they are here.
00:07:38.640 | So maybe there's a new market for me, the big hairy bearded male midwife as a backup
00:07:45.840 | retirement plan.
00:07:46.840 | Not a bad financial independence business.
00:07:50.080 | You can come and go with some freedom.
00:07:53.480 | Obviously, when you're on call, you're just like an obstetrician.
00:07:57.120 | When mama's having the baby, you got to go.
00:07:59.320 | But you have some freedom and flexibility with your daily schedule.
00:08:02.880 | It's a very diverse experience.
00:08:05.600 | I'm primarily kidding.
00:08:07.920 | It's not quite for me.
00:08:09.280 | But it was a great birth.
00:08:10.880 | We're really rejoicing.
00:08:11.880 | The baby is doing very well.
00:08:13.520 | Healthy nine-pound baby boy, he's doing very well and we're very thrilled.
00:08:19.400 | We've been praying and praying and praying for a happy baby.
00:08:22.400 | Our first two babies were just miserable as babies, absolutely miserable.
00:08:27.000 | The second one, even more so than the first one we thought was bad and the second one
00:08:30.480 | was awful.
00:08:31.480 | Just very, very sick for months and months.
00:08:36.400 | She had colic and she had, what was it?
00:08:41.680 | Forgive me.
00:08:42.680 | I can't remember the medical name.
00:08:44.200 | GERD.
00:08:45.200 | GERD and colic.
00:08:46.200 | It basically just means her digestive system didn't work and the stomach acid would come
00:08:51.240 | up out of her stomach and burn her esophagus.
00:08:55.640 | There was very little that the pediatrician could do.
00:08:57.960 | Very little.
00:08:58.960 | You just basically had to wait until they grow out of it.
00:09:00.560 | But it made for an extremely difficult and very trying first few months.
00:09:05.960 | We are rejoicing that this baby is happy and contented and we are thrilled with his arrival.
00:09:13.340 | Just working on his integration into the family.
00:09:16.080 | Another tip for those of you who are new parents.
00:09:18.640 | We took the baby to the chiropractor.
00:09:20.680 | We were talking with her.
00:09:22.000 | She had just recently had a baby.
00:09:24.040 | And I'll affirm this.
00:09:26.480 | My wife and I, we've developed our standard little speech to give to prospective parents
00:09:31.560 | about all the things that they need to know.
00:09:34.320 | And I'll give it to you here as my listening friends and family.
00:09:38.060 | Just simply to say, one of the most important things is to recognize that it's important
00:09:43.400 | to prepare for the birth.
00:09:44.400 | If you're preparing for your first child or beyond your first child, preparing for
00:09:49.280 | the birth is very important.
00:09:50.520 | But nobody stumbles into that.
00:09:52.000 | You've got nine months to think about it.
00:09:54.680 | You've got a lot of time.
00:09:55.960 | There are plenty of people that want to tell you stories and give you advice.
00:09:59.200 | There's lots of things out there that you can study.
00:10:01.960 | But I'll tell you this.
00:10:02.960 | The thing that caught my wife and me blindsided, that blindsided us on the birth of our first
00:10:07.920 | baby and even as we were talking with our chiropractor on the birth of her baby, the
00:10:14.080 | thing that really blindsided us was recognizing how difficult it can be in the first days
00:10:20.320 | and weeks after the birth.
00:10:23.240 | Breastfeeding is very difficult.
00:10:24.240 | I know I talked about that with the physician that I interviewed last week.
00:10:30.680 | And breastfeeding is, Marilyn, I forget her last name, breastfeeding can be very difficult
00:10:36.160 | making the transition.
00:10:38.080 | Babies, for those of you who are not parents, the common joke to make to new parents is,
00:10:42.640 | "Well, how's the sleep?
00:10:43.640 | You're not getting any sleep."
00:10:45.960 | It's rather a silly joke.
00:10:47.480 | Most people make it with the best of intentions because they mean the best.
00:10:53.080 | They don't know what else to say.
00:10:54.480 | People who aren't parents don't know what else to say to parents and so they talk about
00:10:58.000 | and make a joke about the sleep.
00:10:59.320 | It's the standard thing.
00:11:00.320 | But the reason that new parents' sleep schedules get mixed up is very simple.
00:11:05.480 | Babies' tummies are really small and babies can't go more than a few hours or they shouldn't
00:11:10.400 | go more than a few hours without eating.
00:11:14.400 | Some people, if your baby is not waking up in the night to eat, that's a problem.
00:11:19.440 | You need to set a timer and get yourself up and wake the baby up.
00:11:24.000 | It's very important in the first few days and weeks of a new baby's life to do that
00:11:27.840 | intentionally.
00:11:28.840 | If your baby doesn't want to wake up, you need to wake them up to make sure that they
00:11:32.360 | eat.
00:11:33.360 | So that just leads to disrupted sleep schedules where instead of getting a full night, you
00:11:38.240 | wind up getting snatches of sleep here and there.
00:11:41.200 | And it's just very challenging in those first few weeks.
00:11:44.400 | So far so great.
00:11:45.780 | We are enjoying the process and really enjoying the addition of this new baby but still focusing
00:11:51.840 | on doing very little work and trying to spend all of my time maintaining and building back
00:11:59.440 | and getting the family back on schedule and back into a really workable routine.
00:12:06.160 | In other news, I'll go ahead and just make this a stream of consciousness report related
00:12:12.840 | to children.
00:12:13.840 | My oldest child, my son, has successfully made his first investment.
00:12:20.560 | So of course being Mr. Radical Personal Finance, I'm very proud of him.
00:12:24.320 | In short, and at some point, I've got a book outline written on this.
00:12:28.880 | We'll see if I can get the project finished at some point.
00:12:31.840 | But in short, he has been accumulating his money steadily.
00:12:37.760 | He is three years, three and a half years old at this point.
00:12:41.200 | And I've struggled with a lot of different approaches as far as should you give a child
00:12:46.400 | an allowance or not.
00:12:47.960 | In general, I'm opposed to the giving of an allowance primarily because it sounds a lot
00:12:54.980 | like welfare.
00:12:55.980 | It sounds a lot like an entitlement mentality.
00:12:58.520 | That said, I have chosen up till now to go ahead and to give my son an allowance.
00:13:05.240 | I give him a weekly allowance at this point.
00:13:06.840 | I intend to cut it off as soon as he is able to work and earn money reliably by the sweat
00:13:14.000 | of his brow.
00:13:15.060 | So I'm picturing that being around six or seven years old, something like that.
00:13:19.800 | And the theory that I have behind this at the moment is that I want him to become accustomed
00:13:25.880 | to handling money so that it's a natural and normal thing.
00:13:30.760 | And I just can't come up with any way for him to handle money on his own unless it comes
00:13:38.920 | from me.
00:13:39.920 | And I want him to have practice of handling money from a very early age.
00:13:44.200 | So what I've done up till now is, I think I started when he turned three, is I have
00:13:49.400 | given him a three-quarter per week allowance, so 75 cents a week.
00:13:53.480 | Yes, I know I'm overly generous with my child, but hey, it adds up quick if you have it in
00:14:03.080 | time.
00:14:04.080 | So I give him 75 cents a week.
00:14:06.520 | And then what he does is he has three – well, they're Ziploc bags is what we use.
00:14:12.480 | One is for saving, one is for investing and one is – sorry.
00:14:15.240 | One is for spending, one is for investing and one is for giving.
00:14:19.120 | And so each week, he puts a quarter into each of those bags.
00:14:23.080 | And of course, it's important.
00:14:25.040 | If he's going to have money, no money should come into or out of his hands that's not
00:14:29.160 | tracked, right?
00:14:30.160 | Fundamental rule of radical personal finance is that every dollar coming in and every dollar
00:14:33.800 | going out should be tracked.
00:14:35.220 | So we have little ledgers on the cards and of course I write it for him.
00:14:38.360 | But I explain to him and we keep a running tally of each bag.
00:14:41.560 | And as he finds money on the street, I encourage him to find money and to put that money in
00:14:48.400 | there and we divide it up, I change it out.
00:14:50.720 | And so every time he receives money, we divide it into three.
00:14:54.120 | And I found this to be – so far, I'm really happy with the decision I've made to pursue
00:14:58.320 | this.
00:14:59.440 | It helps a lot for – I have found as a young father, it helps a lot for your child to have
00:15:05.280 | a spending budget.
00:15:07.500 | That way, it gives you a good way to divert some of the requests for things.
00:15:14.520 | A lot of the things that he sees that he'd like to buy, the monster truck or the things
00:15:19.400 | in the stores then allows me to go back to, "Oh, well, do you have enough money saved
00:15:24.640 | for that in your spending bag yet?"
00:15:27.520 | And allows him to do that.
00:15:28.520 | And he's accumulated his money.
00:15:29.800 | I remember some months ago, he was very excited.
00:15:32.800 | He went and bought his first Hot Wheels car all with his own dollar.
00:15:37.480 | That was a very exciting day for him.
00:15:38.960 | So he's been doing some purchases on the spending category.
00:15:43.160 | But we were struggling with the investing category.
00:15:45.280 | It's a real challenge.
00:15:46.680 | How do you teach an almost four-year-old to invest their money in such a way that they'll
00:15:53.400 | understand and gain the concept of investing but to do it with a couple or $3 budget?
00:16:00.840 | It's not an easy nut to crack.
00:16:05.240 | How do you profitably invest $3 or $4 in a way that's useful?
00:16:09.480 | You can't go and buy a stock for a four-year-old.
00:16:11.960 | That's meaningless to them.
00:16:13.160 | They can't do complex mathematics and work a compound interest chart at this point in
00:16:18.120 | time.
00:16:19.120 | So I've kept my eyes open and I posted this question in the Radical Personal Finance Facebook
00:16:22.600 | group at some point in the past.
00:16:24.000 | And some listeners had some great suggestions.
00:16:26.300 | But this last week, he had the opportunity to buy some honey.
00:16:32.740 | So he bought some honey from some family members who were in the honey business.
00:16:36.360 | And he bought it at wholesale, little mini bears.
00:16:39.480 | He'd saved up $6 in his investing money.
00:16:42.880 | And so he bought five little honey bears from his family members at wholesale.
00:16:48.360 | And he turned around and as people have been coming to our house to rejoice with us and
00:16:53.040 | bring us food after the birth of our baby and see the new baby and everything, he has
00:16:57.040 | been selling them honey, which warms my little heart to see a little salesman going out there
00:17:03.760 | and in complete innocence say, "I'm here to try to sell you some honey.
00:17:07.560 | Would you like to buy my honey?"
00:17:09.160 | So success.
00:17:10.800 | He sold all five of his honey bears, doubled up his money, and he's rolling in the dough.
00:17:15.560 | So we made a little ledger for the investment, showed him his profit, put the seed capital
00:17:22.120 | back in, split the profit out into the three categories.
00:17:25.680 | And so I'm really happy with the lesson.
00:17:27.480 | I was just enjoying the fact that he – and he enjoyed the process.
00:17:33.800 | It's just very rewarding as a father to see just the innocence of a child.
00:17:39.360 | And yet I know the lessons that he's learning, the lessons of selling.
00:17:42.600 | Not everybody said yes, which is good.
00:17:45.000 | Learned to take rejection at an early age, learning to have success.
00:17:50.240 | He doesn't quite – can't work all the math on the quarters and the dollar bills
00:17:53.720 | and the profit and a lot of it is over his head.
00:17:56.200 | But I'm really happy with the progress that he's making.
00:17:59.160 | So I've really been enjoying that the last few days.
00:18:02.720 | And it has also amply demonstrated to me once again that profits are better than wages.
00:18:08.480 | I intend to teach my children to earn wages.
00:18:11.600 | I think it's very important for children to earn wages, not to be exclusively focused
00:18:16.760 | on profits.
00:18:17.760 | I think that if a child doesn't master the skill of work, hard work, diligent work, work
00:18:23.800 | for other people, it's my opinion that they miss out on some very important lessons.
00:18:30.000 | That said, profits are better than wages as Jim Rohn used to remind us so consistently.
00:18:35.740 | Profits are better than wages and just seeing how he's been able to turn his quarter a
00:18:40.080 | week income into – and a $5 investment where he doubled up in one day, doubled up to $10
00:18:49.360 | was pretty good.
00:18:51.520 | I was refreshed on some of my own lessons on finance just in watching that.
00:18:57.640 | And we have lots more lessons planned for him.
00:18:59.480 | Of course, I'm taking good notes so that I can pass along.
00:19:02.520 | And here, for free, here, for free, I'll finish out my kind of economic theory on children
00:19:07.700 | since I talked about allowances and then with that, I'll wrap up this ramble.
00:19:13.340 | My theory is at this stage, I want to give him money so that he has practice handling
00:19:19.220 | it.
00:19:20.220 | There's so much value in every week taking these quarters, setting them aside, putting
00:19:23.280 | them in the investing, putting them in the spending, putting them in the giving.
00:19:27.400 | It gives him opportunities to look for how can he give money away.
00:19:30.100 | It's a challenge.
00:19:31.100 | How do you give away meaningfully $5 in a way that a child is going to understand what
00:19:35.780 | they're doing?
00:19:36.780 | But I think that's very beneficial.
00:19:40.660 | The accumulating – we don't call it saving.
00:19:42.380 | We call it spending.
00:19:43.640 | But over time, naturally, the slow accumulation of money is delayed gratification.
00:19:49.140 | So he's learning the skill of delaying gratification for things he wants.
00:19:53.820 | He's learning to understand how much things cost.
00:19:57.040 | For example, we go to Costco and he has his eyes on the $200 drive-around cars.
00:20:01.560 | Well, if he gets one of those, it's going to come out of dad's pocketbook or grandparent's
00:20:07.760 | pocketbook obviously.
00:20:09.680 | But it helps him to see the scale of how much money different things cost.
00:20:16.040 | And so I'm really pleased with that and then the investing as well.
00:20:20.360 | I've got lots of plans for the investing.
00:20:23.120 | But my theory is that by giving him an allowance until he can work and earn wages, then that
00:20:29.960 | will help him to build the skills of money management so that it will be second nature.
00:20:35.240 | I want to start young so that it's second nature to him.
00:20:38.500 | Then when he's able to work, I don't know the age.
00:20:41.160 | I haven't been there as a father.
00:20:42.560 | But my guess is seven, eight, nine, ten years old where he'll start to be more of a help
00:20:47.360 | and not a hindrance and we can arrange little jobs whether it's cutting grandma's yard
00:20:51.880 | or whether it's cleaning the toilets for the man next door or whatever those circumstances
00:20:56.640 | are that we can find for him to earn wages.
00:20:59.400 | Then at that point, my plan is to discontinue the allowance or change its character because
00:21:08.960 | the third phase, or at least keep the allowance so small that it's relatively meaningless
00:21:13.880 | compared to what he can earn from working to find out that working is how you earn money.
00:21:20.800 | That's the most effective way.
00:21:22.320 | Money doesn't just come and flow to you in checks that show up for your existing.
00:21:26.560 | Money comes from work.
00:21:28.360 | But then the third phase, of course, is my hope is that a lot of the expenses that I
00:21:34.680 | as a parent owe to my child just simply for my parental duty for their care, that I'll
00:21:40.800 | be able to transition those over to him.
00:21:43.840 | For example, I think that there's no reason why a 12-year-old shouldn't be responsible
00:21:48.920 | for their own clothing purchases.
00:21:51.560 | My intention is to figure out what is an appropriate budget at that point in time for a child to
00:21:58.800 | spend on a child's clothing, to lay out the appropriate standards for the child's clothing
00:22:02.960 | and say, "Here are the standards.
00:22:04.280 | Here are our parental standards for the type of clothing we wear."
00:22:07.480 | Then hopefully by that time, we'll have taught him how to shop.
00:22:11.600 | Here's what you get if you shop in this manner.
00:22:13.320 | Here's what you get if you do this other thing, et cetera, and to transition the budget over.
00:22:17.480 | He will still have income coming in from me, but it'll be income that's responsible to
00:22:22.040 | provide for those maintenance items.
00:22:24.980 | That's my hope.
00:22:25.980 | So I'll expand on all this in the future, but spend a lot of time thinking about it,
00:22:30.360 | reading what other parents have done, learning from what has gone well, et cetera, and that's
00:22:34.040 | where I'm at at the moment, subject to change.
00:22:36.360 | So that's a little insight into Joshua's week.
00:22:41.120 | That's what's going on around here.
00:22:42.480 | I'll be back with you as soon as I can, but number one priority right now is my wife and
00:22:48.400 | our family.
00:22:49.400 | So with that, I'm going to end today's show and get back to it.
00:22:52.720 | Talk with you soon.
00:22:54.960 | This show is part of the Radical Life Media network of podcasts and resources.
00:23:00.580 | Find out more at RadicalLifeMedia.com.
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