RPF0203-Caring_for_Older

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00:00:30.000 | - Do you find yourself in a situation

00:00:33.000 | of starting to think about and care

00:00:36.000 | for your parents' financial futures?

00:00:39.000 | If so, I've got some ideas in today's show

00:00:42.000 | that may be useful to you.

00:00:44.000 | This is a situation that many people all over the world

00:00:47.000 | are finding themselves in with increasing frequency.

00:00:50.000 | And I'm gonna share with you some tools and tips

00:00:53.000 | and tactics that I think will be helpful to you

00:00:56.000 | to be able to guide them through

00:00:59.000 | their own ideal financial future.

00:01:02.000 | (upbeat music)

00:01:05.000 | Welcome to the Radical Personal Finance Podcast.

00:01:20.000 | My name is Joshua Sheets, I'm your host.

00:01:22.000 | This is episode 203 of the show.

00:01:24.000 | An episode by special request today.

00:01:27.000 | One of the benefits that some of the patrons of the show get

00:01:30.000 | at the highest levels of patronage

00:01:32.000 | is the opportunity to have me create an entire show

00:01:35.000 | around a specific question, that's what today is.

00:01:38.000 | One of the patrons of the show has some parents

00:01:40.000 | who are aging and asked me for some input

00:01:43.000 | on things that they can do to help.

00:01:46.000 | (upbeat music)

00:01:49.000 | So today's show is an output of a show

00:01:53.000 | is an output of that question.

00:01:55.000 | Trying to put together some ideas in general

00:01:57.000 | that I think will be helpful to this particular listener

00:02:00.000 | and also to the audience in general.

00:02:02.000 | Which by the way, that is one of the benefits of patronage

00:02:04.000 | is some of the higher levels.

00:02:05.000 | If you would like to get access to that benefit,

00:02:07.000 | it comes in at the $200 a month level.

00:02:09.000 | You can find details at radicalpersonalfinance.com/patron.

00:02:13.000 | So if you'd like me to create a show,

00:02:16.000 | an entire show on a topic of your choice,

00:02:18.000 | check out that highest level of patronage.

00:02:21.000 | There's one slot still remaining in that level of patronage,

00:02:24.000 | radicalpersonalfinance.com/patron.

00:02:27.000 | I'm not going to be able to cover every technical detail

00:02:31.000 | about what to do in order to help your parents

00:02:35.000 | as they age with their financial plans.

00:02:37.000 | If I were to do that, I'd basically be saying

00:02:39.000 | here's the job of a financial planner

00:02:40.000 | and here's everything you need to know,

00:02:41.000 | which is every other day on the show.

00:02:43.000 | (laughs)

00:02:44.000 | It's just simply not possible.

00:02:45.000 | But I do want to give a broad overview

00:02:48.000 | of a number of different things for you to consider

00:02:51.000 | and some ideas that I think will be helpful for you.

00:02:54.000 | But we need to start with talking a little bit about the culture.

00:02:59.000 | Some cultures of the world, this topic is easy.

00:03:02.000 | Well, I don't know if it's easy, but it's at least more normal.

00:03:05.000 | Many cultures of the world,

00:03:06.000 | the relationship between children and parents

00:03:09.000 | is very established as far as the functioning of that relationship.

00:03:12.000 | The ordering of that relationship is culturally established.

00:03:17.000 | It works out in different ways in different cultures.

00:03:20.000 | In many cultures, it's expected that parents

00:03:23.000 | will be fully dependent upon children.

00:03:25.000 | In many cultures, one of the highest goals

00:03:29.000 | and priorities and financial priorities of many children

00:03:33.000 | is to provide and care for their parents in abundance,

00:03:36.000 | even to the sacrificing of their own personal financial goals.

00:03:40.000 | That's built into the fabric of certain cultures.

00:03:43.000 | I really admire a lot of that system

00:03:45.000 | and a lot of those ideas.

00:03:47.000 | At some point, I've had a show title on my list of show ideas

00:03:50.000 | called "Invest in Your Children."

00:03:52.000 | It's the best investment you'll make.

00:03:54.000 | We'll leave that for another day.

00:03:56.000 | But I really admire that.

00:03:57.000 | But it also doesn't necessarily make things easy.

00:04:00.000 | There are certain challenges that will come in

00:04:03.000 | with that sort of cultural understanding.

00:04:05.000 | In the United States, our culture is a little bit different

00:04:08.000 | where we have more of a respectful relationship

00:04:12.000 | with our parents in general.

00:04:14.000 | I'm grossly generalizing.

00:04:17.000 | But oftentimes, we have a little bit of a disconnected relationship.

00:04:21.000 | In the U.S. American culture, what tends to happen is that

00:04:25.000 | we as children are expected to care for ourselves.

00:04:29.000 | We're expected to hit a magic age, whether it's 18 or 21 or something.

00:04:33.000 | We're expected to get out.

00:04:35.000 | I was just speaking with somebody yesterday

00:04:37.000 | who was doing some work at my house.

00:04:39.000 | They were saying that he was saying to me

00:04:41.000 | that on his 18th birthday, his parents said, "Out."

00:04:43.000 | "You're done."

00:04:45.000 | They literally kicked him out on his 18th birthday.

00:04:47.000 | So maybe that's happened to some of you.

00:04:49.000 | Maybe for some of you, it was at 15, or maybe some of you, it was at 25.

00:04:52.000 | But that's one aspect of our culture.

00:04:55.000 | Then on the flip side, however, that tends to come back the other way.

00:04:58.000 | We figure out, well, how do we connect with our parents

00:05:01.000 | and how do we help them without being overbearing?

00:05:07.000 | How do we open up this dialogue surrounding finance?

00:05:11.000 | This is a very challenging question, extremely challenging.

00:05:18.000 | Each of us, I think, has to work it out in our own individual, unique way.

00:05:23.000 | I want to start with emphasizing on relationships,

00:05:26.000 | but I'm not going to give much input here

00:05:28.000 | because frankly I don't really know how to help

00:05:30.000 | if there are difficult relationships other than to encourage you,

00:05:34.000 | whether you find yourself as a parent or as a child,

00:05:37.000 | to do everything you can to find some help

00:05:40.000 | and whatever that looks like, I don't really know.

00:05:43.000 | One of the interesting questions when I put this show topic out on the Patreon page,

00:05:47.000 | mentioning that I was going to be doing it,

00:05:49.000 | one of the pieces of input from a different patron

00:05:52.000 | was asking a question of what would I do if I had parents

00:05:56.000 | who were fiscally irresponsible and just focused on living a paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle.

00:06:01.000 | What are the boundaries between helping them

00:06:04.000 | versus just facilitating and enabling their – we'll call it irresponsible behavior.

00:06:11.000 | Frankly, I don't know what to do with that situation.

00:06:14.000 | In my mind, I guess how I would probably handle it –

00:06:17.000 | and I haven't been there, but I guess how I'd probably handle it is

00:06:20.000 | try to make sure that the basic needs of the person are met,

00:06:26.000 | their basic living needs,

00:06:28.000 | without necessarily getting involved in supporting a lifestyle

00:06:33.000 | that I couldn't support with a clear conscience.

00:06:36.000 | But beyond that, I don't know.

00:06:38.000 | It's challenging, very challenging.

00:06:41.000 | It's important if you're in that situation to spend a lot of time there,

00:06:46.000 | spending a lot of time on figuring out how to deal with the relationship dynamics,

00:06:50.000 | because without that, you're not going to be able to implement many of these practical ideas.

00:06:56.000 | So this show is intended to be more of the practical ideas,

00:06:59.000 | which I think will probably only be able to be expressed

00:07:02.000 | in the context of a healthy, clear relationship.

00:07:05.000 | It'll only be able to be expressed in the context of decent communication skills

00:07:10.000 | where parents and children are willing to sit down and talk to one another.

00:07:17.000 | That brings me to my major point to start with is the importance of communication,

00:07:25.000 | the importance of talking.

00:07:27.000 | One of the problems, I believe, in the US-American culture

00:07:30.000 | is that we have a phobia and a social perception that we shouldn't talk about money,

00:07:37.000 | especially with those that we're close to.

00:07:40.000 | I see very few benefits to this approach and a lot of drawbacks.

00:07:47.000 | Maybe there are some benefits that I don't see,

00:07:49.000 | but I just can't come up with them as far as the actual benefits.

00:07:52.000 | Why shouldn't we talk about money?

00:07:55.000 | The cultural norm is that it's impolite to talk about money

00:07:58.000 | because I may be doing very well and earning a high income

00:08:01.000 | and you may not be doing very well and may not be earning a high income or vice versa,

00:08:05.000 | in which case you don't want to make me feel embarrassed about my low income

00:08:10.000 | or my inability to spend a lot of money.

00:08:13.000 | Those things I think are appropriate.

00:08:15.000 | But within the context of a family, we need to be talking about these things.

00:08:20.000 | So many of us have had to learn all the hard lessons ourselves,

00:08:25.000 | and many of those lessons may have been delivered a little bit more effectively

00:08:29.000 | if we had spent more time with our parents teaching us from an early age.

00:08:33.000 | So I'm very much in favor of a lot of communication about money.

00:08:38.000 | But that doesn't make it easy.

00:08:41.000 | Especially it doesn't make it easy to talk with parents about money.

00:08:46.000 | I think it was Dave Ramsey who popularized his little saying about the powdered butt syndrome

00:08:53.000 | that as he puts it in a joking way, if somebody has powdered your butt,

00:08:58.000 | they don't want your opinion about money.

00:09:00.000 | I think he says they don't want your opinion on sex or on money.

00:09:03.000 | And it's probably true.

00:09:05.000 | Thankfully it's not true in my family.

00:09:08.000 | My parents are financial advisors, but I do have probably a few advantages of actually working in that field.

00:09:15.000 | I know plenty of financial advisors who their parents don't even –

00:09:18.000 | even in that situation aren't interested in what their kids have to say about money.

00:09:22.000 | They're not.

00:09:23.000 | But it starts there.

00:09:25.000 | Start with a relationship.

00:09:27.000 | Because if you don't have accurate data, if you don't know what's actually going on,

00:09:32.000 | you can't really do anything.

00:09:35.000 | You're not going to be able to give your parents good advice.

00:09:41.000 | That's about all I've got for you as far as encouragement there on a relationship perspective.

00:09:45.000 | But it's hard for me to overemphasize how important that is.

00:09:49.000 | I do think that – and I'm assuming that most of you listening are children because the question is how do we care for older parents.

00:09:55.000 | I do think you have to take responsibility and force the issue just a little bit.

00:10:01.000 | One of the most difficult things to do is get the first conversation going.

00:10:06.000 | And I think you have a responsibility as a child to force the issue at least in the direction of conversation.

00:10:13.000 | By force the issue, I don't mean sit your parents down and say, "Here's what you're going to do, one, two, three, four,"

00:10:18.000 | but force the issue and be willing to talk about it and really try.

00:10:23.000 | Because what many families seem to do is just simply avoid it.

00:10:25.000 | In order to avoid the potential conflict, they just avoid the conversation.

00:10:30.000 | But the idea that we're going to find out what's going on in your parents' life at the reading of their will, this is a stupid idea.

00:10:39.000 | That's a dumb way to find out what's going on in your parents' life.

00:10:42.000 | It's especially stupid if they have money and if they're rich.

00:10:46.000 | And I'm using that word stupid.

00:10:48.000 | It's a provocative word, but I really mean it.

00:10:53.000 | Whether your parents are in need, whether your parents are in moderate abundance, or whether your parents are in extreme abundance,

00:11:04.000 | they do have the right to privacy over their affairs just as we all do.

00:11:09.000 | But to just lackadaisically go into the end of life, the latter third of life, say, as an example, without any discussion of what's actually going on is dumb.

00:11:22.000 | And even at the highest levels of wealth, I've worked with some people, read a few books, and talked with some people who specialize in working with the very wealthy families that are here in the Palm Beach community.

00:11:33.000 | And basically all they do is financial counseling for wealthy families.

00:11:37.000 | That's their entire business.

00:11:39.000 | The number one thing they have to do is work to get parents and children talking, talking soon, talking consistently over time so they can work together instead of being at odds.

00:11:53.000 | Now, you might be able to do this personally or you might be simply to the limit where you can perhaps encourage your parents to bring in a professional.

00:12:03.000 | So it may be that your parents are uncomfortable talking with you about their finances.

00:12:09.000 | Well, in that case, at least get them to go to a professional.

00:12:12.000 | You might pay for them to have a financial planning consultation or to sit with somebody who's an expert and talk through the different scenarios.

00:12:19.000 | But do something to try to force the issue a little bit.

00:12:23.000 | I've been there in my own family and I've been there in other families where you find out what was going on only when you read the will.

00:12:34.000 | And it is often a disaster.

00:12:38.000 | That is the most financially expensive way to do it and that is the most emotionally expensive way to do it.

00:12:46.000 | Don't wait for the reading of the will to find out what's going on in your parents' life.

00:12:52.000 | Press the issue as far as you can within the context of a loving, respectful relationship.

00:12:58.000 | It's worth the temporary emotional discomfort.

00:13:03.000 | So press it just a little bit.

00:13:06.000 | There are three primary aspects of this type of planning, at least the way they come out in my mind.

00:13:13.000 | The first two are with regards to life and the last one is with regards to death.

00:13:19.000 | The first one is how do I help my parents or how do they plan for just a great life?

00:13:26.000 | If we're talking about parents who are in their – let's call it their retirement years, the third half of their life, say 60 to 100 type of that range is kind of what I'm thinking.

00:13:38.000 | It would be different at 60 versus 80 versus 90 versus 100.

00:13:43.000 | These are all different scenarios.

00:13:45.000 | Just planning for a great life and helping your parents to enjoy the final third of their life in my mind is a very important aspect of planning.

00:13:55.000 | That's the first thing that we'll cover.

00:13:58.000 | Number two is statistically the highest likelihood is that at some point in time, our parents will need some type of care, physical care to help them meet their daily needs of life.

00:14:13.000 | We need to plan for that and that's the second category.

00:14:16.000 | How do we plan for a life where our parents need ongoing care?

00:14:22.000 | Then the third thing is how do we plan for what happens when our parents die?

00:14:28.000 | Because the more you plan now, the simpler and smoother that transition will be.

00:14:37.000 | When the financial road is paved, when the financial – when everything financially is buttoned up, then you're able instead of stressing out about the financial disaster potentially that was left behind, you're able to think just about the person and go through those feelings, the loss, the grieving, the mourning, and just enjoy thinking about the first person instead of dealing with a bunch of financial clutter.

00:15:06.000 | And financial problems.

00:15:09.000 | So that's what we'll be walking through in this show.

00:15:12.000 | Let's start with number one.

00:15:13.000 | How do we live a great life?

00:15:14.000 | This is self-evident, but – to me it's self-evident, but many people don't think about it.

00:15:20.000 | But in my mind, this should be the primary consideration and I know that for most of us it is.

00:15:26.000 | How do we help our parents to live an incredible life?

00:15:31.000 | And if your parents are open to your input, if they're willing to consider the things that you have to say, I think you could help them in really great ways, especially or even if you use some type of radical approach.

00:15:47.000 | Historically, at least in the past few decades, it's generally been assumed that there's a well-worn path toward retirement.

00:15:55.000 | And so people are going to set money aside.

00:15:57.000 | They're going to have a pension.

00:15:59.000 | Then your parents are going to retire into their golden years in comfort.

00:16:04.000 | Well, we've talked a little bit about the history of that.

00:16:06.000 | I'm not sure that it's ever been that way, but that's at least the cultural idea of how it was supposed to be.

00:16:12.000 | But the facts and the actual financial situation that many people face is woefully different than that.

00:16:21.000 | So very few of you are going to have parents who've saved $2 million for retirement and they're going to go out and they're going to buy the brand new RV and spend the months that are coming traveling the country visiting grandkids, kind of on the perpetual – what does Todd Tressler say?

00:16:36.000 | The perpetual leisure circuit.

00:16:39.000 | Does it happen?

00:16:40.000 | Absolutely.

00:16:42.000 | Is it common?

00:16:43.000 | Absolutely not.

00:16:45.000 | Don't let Kiplinger's personal finance advertisements or Money Magazine advertisements or the advertisement on the TV of the couple with white hair, beautifully fit 68-year-old man and woman wandering down the Florida beach in the surf fool you.

00:17:01.000 | That is not the norm.

00:17:03.000 | It's simply not.

00:17:05.000 | Statistically speaking, the average retired couple maybe has a little bit of equity in their house, a few tens of thousands of dollars saved in different places, and that's about it.

00:17:14.000 | Social security is a primary source of income for many retiring families.

00:17:19.000 | And the idea that everybody is going to retire in comfort on a large lump sum of money is – it's out of touch with the actual financial realities.

00:17:31.000 | Even the AARP, the Association of Retired Persons, they have revamped their entire image.

00:17:39.000 | They have an entire program which is worth checking out.

00:17:42.000 | It's interesting to look at called the Life Reimagined Program.

00:17:46.000 | So you've got the AARP focused on helping retired people supposedly and their switch is talking about life reimagined.

00:17:55.000 | What does life reimagined encompass?

00:17:57.000 | Well, they put it into four categories.

00:18:01.000 | The place – I'll read right off their website.

00:18:03.000 | Place – finding the right place is finding where you belong.

00:18:05.000 | It's where you're truly comfortable in your own skin.

00:18:08.000 | So the idea is figure out where you want to be.

00:18:11.000 | Work – what we do is a huge part of who we are.

00:18:15.000 | It's not just a paycheck.

00:18:16.000 | What we do needs to matter.

00:18:18.000 | People – spending time with the people you love and respect is what it's all about.

00:18:23.000 | We can't take that for granted.

00:18:25.000 | Purpose – why do you get up every morning?

00:18:27.000 | It's different for everyone, but we're all looking to be fulfilled.

00:18:30.000 | Now, I have to point out, do you notice the eerie similarity between their four categories right on the AARP website and what I talk about every day?

00:18:40.000 | Are not those the primary components of life that will lead to creating the ideal lifestyle?

00:18:48.000 | If you're living in a place you want to live, doing work that's important to you with people that you love and care about because you have a purpose and something that's important to you, isn't that at least part of the makeup of the so-called good life?

00:19:06.000 | Here's the cool thing. You don't have to wait to be 74 years old to do that, but they're helping people who are 60 years old, 70 years old, or 90 years old build that type of life for themselves in the same way that every day I'm here trying to help you, whether you're 60 or 90 or 30, build that type of life for yourself.

00:19:28.000 | What's interesting to me, there's a picture right on the front page of their website of a couple with a truck camper, a pickup truck camper, one of these things where you have a pickup truck and the little slide-in camper goes in the bed just parked out in the desert sitting there looking up at the stars.

00:19:45.000 | You don't need to be 80 years old to go and do that.

00:19:48.000 | It's the same thing you can do today.

00:19:51.000 | If you'll help your parents sit down and kind of imagine their best life, imagine their ideal life, I think you can really help them to engage.

00:20:03.000 | My observation has been that people tend to go in a couple of directions.

00:20:09.000 | Some people disengage, kind of disengage from life.

00:20:13.000 | And to use, I guess, probably a bit of a cliche, they sit around and watch TV all the time and they're not engaged.

00:20:20.000 | Well, in that case, my observation has been that people that do that tend to quickly get old and quickly die.

00:20:25.000 | They quickly get old, quickly get sick and quickly die.

00:20:28.000 | But then on the flip side, there are others who just re-engage.

00:20:32.000 | And for them, retirement is not about getting out.

00:20:36.000 | That's about re-imagining.

00:20:38.000 | It's about their life re-imagined.

00:20:40.000 | And they engage either with a brand new business, a brand new job, a brand new hobby, something that they're really engaged with.

00:20:49.000 | And then that leads to fulfilled, satisfied, hardworking years.

00:20:54.000 | But it's different because they care.

00:20:57.000 | So help your parents to build an ideal life for themselves.

00:21:02.000 | If nothing else, maybe consider turning them on to the AARP materials, their Life Reimagined program.

00:21:08.000 | Now, there will be a big difference obviously in how they actually accomplish this goal depending on if your parents are rich, middle class, middle wealth, or if they're poor.

00:21:21.000 | But even if they're poor, poverty isn't the end of the world.

00:21:24.000 | Help them, if possible, rework their life into something better.

00:21:29.000 | I'd encourage you to think about integrating them into your lifestyle in some way if you can, especially if they're poor.

00:21:36.000 | Plan a family life together.

00:21:39.000 | Consider hiring them into your family to help you, to help you with your children.

00:21:44.000 | One of the major benefits that I read years ago, I read some books on longevity.

00:21:50.000 | And the one that I most remember was a book called Healthy at 100 and it was a profile of some of the healthiest long-lived cultures in the world.

00:21:59.000 | And there were some different bits of recommendations that the author pulled from their research, some of them involving diet, some of them involving lifestyle.

00:22:13.000 | But one of the ones that really stood out to me had to do with connection.

00:22:18.000 | And in many of the longest-lived cultures in the world, there's a very different cultural perception surrounding aging.

00:22:27.000 | And I think this is a big deal.

00:22:30.000 | In our culture, in the US American culture, many families tend to view old people as kind of a nuisance.

00:22:38.000 | We have a cultural perception where we just don't like anybody who's old.

00:22:44.000 | Our ideal perception seems to be some 24-year-old muscle-bound guy and some – about 18-year-old surgically enhanced woman.

00:22:54.000 | And this is personally – I can't stand this as far as the pressure that people face and feel to be young.

00:23:01.000 | Talk about setting yourself up for a lifestyle of disaster when you have a goal set for yourself that's ultimately unattainable, completely unattainable.

00:23:09.000 | The fact is all of us are going to age and yet we somehow expect 60-year-old people to look like 30-year-old people.

00:23:18.000 | And the surgical industry and the cosmetic industry and the weight loss industry and every one of these industries seem to have this as their number one focus.

00:23:28.000 | It's a losing battle and it affects a lot of people deeply.

00:23:31.000 | Well, this means that in the US American culture, many people dread getting old.

00:23:37.000 | Many people don't look forward to it.

00:23:41.000 | Talk about how tough it's going to be.

00:23:43.000 | I'm the older I get.

00:23:45.000 | I understand more and more and I still have some of the blinders of youth.

00:23:50.000 | But if you look at other cultures and this was what Healthy at 100, the author profiled extensively was in other cultures, people look forward to getting old because they steadily, incrementally gain a place of greater honor.

00:24:08.000 | In our culture, we despise old people.

00:24:10.000 | We despise children and we despise old people.

00:24:12.000 | You've got about 10 years where you're going to be honored by culture it seems like.

00:24:15.000 | I'm exaggerating a little bit but just look around and notice these influences in society.

00:24:20.000 | But in other cultures, age is a badge of honor and the older you get, the more privileges you get.

00:24:27.000 | Well, that will make a dramatic difference in how much you look forward to getting older if you know that increasingly over time, you're going to gain a place of honor.

00:24:37.000 | People are going to come to you because of your wisdom.

00:24:42.000 | I think if we could incorporate at least a little bit of that into our own culture, it might help.

00:24:51.000 | Is there a way that you can help your parents to feel important?

00:24:56.000 | Think about the incredible benefits that my grandmother, the one grandparent I have who's still alive, she's 100.

00:25:03.000 | She's almost 101.

00:25:05.000 | Think about what she's seen in her lifetime.

00:25:08.000 | It's 2015.

00:25:10.000 | She was born in – I think it was 1914 or 1915, 100 years ago.

00:25:16.000 | Think about what she's seen.

00:25:18.000 | Think about her perspective on life.

00:25:21.000 | Think about her wisdom.

00:25:23.000 | One of the fears – not fear but one of the wishes I guess that I have is that my children are unlikely to be able to gain from her wisdom directly.

00:25:38.000 | She's likely to be dead before they're at an age where they can really assimilate and understand and grasp what she's saying.

00:25:46.000 | But how valuable to take input and insight from someone who's older?

00:25:52.000 | How valuable for your children or my children to spend time there?

00:25:58.000 | Consider is there some way that you can integrate in a way that will help to maintain the proper boundaries in your family.

00:26:08.000 | But is there some way that you can integrate your parents into your lifestyle that you can help your children benefit from your parents?

00:26:16.000 | This is across cultures a major trend actually and specifically some of the specific housing decisions we make.

00:26:22.000 | I remember listening to some reports on home builders and one of the larger growing segments is the type of home that has either an integrated apartment that's suitable for perhaps an adult child or older parents

00:26:36.000 | or a mother-in-law house out back, something like that.

00:26:40.000 | You can see that trend.

00:26:42.000 | Now, there are a couple of specific financial planning ideas and kind of tips that you might be able to integrate and implement.

00:26:48.000 | Again, these are primarily if maybe your parents have financial need.

00:26:53.000 | They're not millionaires sitting around with plenty of money.

00:26:58.000 | But you can integrate your parents into your life and you might be able to do two things.

00:27:02.000 | One, you might be able to claim a dependent care expense credit for their help.

00:27:08.000 | This is the credit where you are able to take a deduction on your tax return for a certain amount of expenses for dependency.

00:27:18.000 | To keep it concise, I'll read two paragraphs from one of my textbooks here on this idea.

00:27:23.000 | The child care credit whether for married, divorced, or separated parents provides a significant opportunity for effective tax planning.

00:27:30.000 | For example, if you have an elderly parent whom you wish to help support, money that you give for food may result in a gift tax liability for you.

00:27:40.000 | That's if it's in excess of the current gift tax limits which is about $14,000 per year.

00:27:45.000 | But if you have this parent babysit for your children so that you can work, not only will you avoid a potential gift tax penalty on the money you pay that parent, but you will also receive an income tax credit.

00:27:57.000 | Furthermore, if that parent eats at your home while providing child care services, you will receive a tax credit for the value of the food eaten.

00:28:05.000 | And the value of that food will not be taxable income to your parent.

00:28:10.000 | For example, assume you have your mother provide child care to your son so that you may work and your mother eats $100 worth of food per week.

00:28:18.000 | Even if you pay her nothing in dollars, her income tax is unaffected.

00:28:23.000 | Your gift tax is unaffected, but your income tax will be reduced by a $20 to $35 credit for each week she qualifies.

00:28:32.000 | So if you are hiring your parent to help you with child care so that you can work, make sure that you're using this.

00:28:40.000 | And if your parent is helping you with child care so that you can work, make sure that you actually hire him or her in order – in a way that it will allow you to take the tax credit.

00:28:51.000 | Another credit that you might be entitled to, especially if your parents are poor and you're helping them financially, is the dependency exemption.

00:29:01.000 | For 2014, your dependency exemption was $3,950 for each person who meets all the exemption tests.

00:29:13.000 | Now, there are a number of different tests that must be met.

00:29:17.000 | There are different tests if you're claiming the dependency exemption for a qualifying child or for a qualifying relative.

00:29:24.000 | Qualifying relative will include your parents and other family relatives.

00:29:29.000 | If you are claiming the dependency exemption for a qualifying relative, then here are the tests that you need to meet.

00:29:36.000 | You need to meet the dependent taxpayer test.

00:29:39.000 | You need to meet the joint return test, the citizenship test, the not a qualifying child test,

00:29:45.000 | the member of a household or relationship test, the gross income test, and the support test.

00:29:51.000 | Now, the two ones that are key for this discussion are the support test and the dependent's gross income test.

00:29:58.000 | Those are the ones that you'll have questions on. The other ones are fairly straightforward.

00:30:02.000 | But with regard to the support test, here's what needs to happen in order for you to claim a dependency exemption and, in this case, claiming your parent as a dependent.

00:30:12.000 | Support, you must furnish over one half of the total support of the person in the calendar year in which your tax year begins.

00:30:18.000 | Support includes amounts spent for food, shelter, clothing, medical and dental care, education, church contributions, child care expenses, wedding apparel and receptions, capital items, a car or a TV set, and the like.

00:30:35.000 | It does not include the value of services performed for a dependent or scholarships received by a dependent student.

00:30:42.000 | Also, support is what is spent, not what is available.

00:30:48.000 | This means that even if your child earns $10,000 and banks $5,000 of it, as long as you contribute $5,001 in support, you have contributed more than one half.

00:30:58.000 | Several tax-saving strategies present themselves in this area.

00:31:02.000 | A year-end budgeting of support expenditures can produce substantial tax benefits and thus reduce the out-of-pocket costs of supporting a dependent.

00:31:11.000 | For example, assume that you are unmarried and live with your mother.

00:31:14.000 | By December 1, your mother has spent $4,000 of her non-taxable Social Security payments for her own support, and you have contributed $2,000 for her support.

00:31:25.000 | During the rest of the year, you provide for all of your mother's support at a cost of $800 and give her a $1,400 television set for her exclusive use in her room.

00:31:36.000 | Consequently, you provide more than 50% of your mother's total support, that is $4,200 out of a total of $8,200 for this year.

00:31:45.000 | Thus, you can claim the $3,950 dependency exemption for your mother.

00:31:51.000 | So that's the support test.

00:31:53.000 | The other key thing is the dependence gross income, and this is important because if you have a parent who's just living on Social Security income, then they should be able to qualify for this type of benefit if they have a low income as just Social Security income.

00:32:08.000 | Dependence gross income test.

00:32:10.000 | Your dependence gross income for the calendar year in which your tax year begins must be less than $3,950.

00:32:18.000 | Interrupting the reading here, this test is only for the qualifying relative test.

00:32:23.000 | If you're focusing on the dependency exemption for a qualifying child, they do not have to pass this gross income test.

00:32:29.000 | So your income must be less than – the income of the dependent must be less than $3,950.

00:32:35.000 | This does not apply to children who are students under age 24 or non-students under age 19 and certain income earned by those permanently and totally disabled.

00:32:45.000 | A child is a student if during each of any five months of the calendar year in which your tax year begins, he or she, A, is in full-time attendance at an educational institution or B, is taking a full-time course of institutional or farm training.

00:33:00.000 | In figuring your dependence gross income, you exclude any type of exempt income.

00:33:05.000 | This includes Social Security benefits, tax-exempt interest, et cetera.

00:33:11.000 | Remember though that if your dependent has used these tax-exempt benefits for support, generally the benefits will be considered in determining whether the support test has been met.

00:33:21.000 | So in summary, look for the opportunity if you are supporting your family, your family members, your parents financially.

00:33:30.000 | Track those expenses. Try to find out what their data is and look for an opportunity to at least claim those two potential benefits.

00:33:37.000 | Consider hiring them in your family to care for your children. That allows you to pay them money.

00:33:42.000 | It allows you to claim a dependent care expense credit on your taxes for something that they need.

00:33:47.000 | Even if it's as simple as just simply tracking the amount of food that they're eating, that means you don't have to transfer money directly to them.

00:33:53.000 | But they're able to have food to eat without needing to pay income tax on the money first.

00:34:00.000 | And then secondly, if you qualify, then consider claiming a dependency exemption.

00:34:05.000 | Those are two strategies primarily intended where if you are finding yourself in a situation of supporting your parent.

00:34:12.000 | I'm not going to spend a lot more time on talking about how to plan for a great life for your parents if they are impoverished as far as the tax benefits.

00:34:24.000 | But there are some other things that you can do especially if they start to have a little bit higher income.

00:34:29.000 | Help them create the ideal income plan that will last for their entire lifetime.

00:34:35.000 | This is important because statistically if your parents are over the age of 65, there's a very high likelihood that at least one of them will live to about 95.

00:34:42.000 | Many of your parents don't believe that statistic.

00:34:46.000 | But that's the fact. There's a high likelihood that at least one of them will live to 95.

00:34:51.000 | So sort through their financial plan with an eye on longevity and help them optimize it in every possible way.

00:35:00.000 | There are obviously many different approaches.

00:35:03.000 | There are different financial products that you could utilize.

00:35:05.000 | There are different strategies.

00:35:07.000 | A couple of the key ones that I like to see is number one, helping your parents not to have too conservative of an asset allocation where the majority of their money is shifted to bonds.

00:35:16.000 | This is very difficult because there is a high bias in favor of safety of principle.

00:35:23.000 | But there are two major risks.

00:35:26.000 | One risk is safety of principle and another risk is safety of standard of living.

00:35:34.000 | Both are important to plan for.

00:35:37.000 | But the blind spot that many people have is planning for the safety of standard of living, meaning having a portfolio that's going to keep pace with inflation.

00:35:46.000 | There may be some intelligent ways for you to optimize their portfolio, optimize their lifestyle.

00:35:52.000 | We'll talk about those in the future when we cover retirement distribution strategies separately.

00:35:57.000 | But look for those ideas.

00:36:00.000 | Another major approach is simply help your parents not retire.

00:36:04.000 | One of the biggest things that you can do to help families is not retire too soon.

00:36:11.000 | The average American retires, I think, at about the age of 63.

00:36:13.000 | This is a problem on multiple fronts.

00:36:16.000 | Number one, when somebody pulls out of the job market at that age, it's unlikely and more difficult.

00:36:25.000 | It's unlikely that they will return to the job market.

00:36:28.000 | It's much more difficult if they do.

00:36:30.000 | But if you can help them to stay in the job market just a little bit longer, stay until 70 or 75, that makes a substantial difference in the time that their assets have to grow.

00:36:40.000 | That makes a substantial difference in their need to pull so many assets.

00:36:45.000 | When you pull off 10 years of income, just staying from 63 to 73, you don't have to pull 10 years of income off of a portfolio.

00:36:51.000 | That will help.

00:36:53.000 | Also, it will make a big difference with their social security distributions.

00:36:57.000 | Very few people optimize their social security distributions.

00:37:01.000 | One of the best investments, so-called, that somebody in that situation has is to work a little bit longer and get a higher social security payment.

00:37:09.000 | If you look at the difference between taking social security at 62 and taking it at 70, there is a massive difference.

00:37:17.000 | Just helping somebody to stay in the labor force for that eight years will make a huge difference in their quality of life later on.

00:37:24.000 | So help them to work longer if possible.

00:37:29.000 | Switching to expenses, help your parents live a great life by cutting their expenses.

00:37:34.000 | Many times I've observed this, that if you'll help them kind of get with the times a little bit, you'll be able to cut costs substantially.

00:37:41.000 | There's been so many benefits that have come from reduced costs and expenses associated with certain things that if you, in the same way that I talk often about how easy it is to live a great life,

00:37:53.000 | how easy it is to live a great life now for not much money, it's the same thing there.

00:37:58.000 | It's easier to live a great life now as an older person for not much money.

00:38:02.000 | The problem is that there's often a technological barrier.

00:38:06.000 | So my input of saying it's easy to live a great life now assumes that you know how to work an iPhone or a tablet or something similar to that.

00:38:16.000 | You need to be technologically proficient.

00:38:19.000 | But look and help and see if you can help your parents become and use some of the technology that's available to cut their expenses.

00:38:27.000 | Help them – some simple stuff.

00:38:29.000 | Help them cut their phone bill.

00:38:31.000 | Help them cut their cable bill and replace it with a Netflix subscription.

00:38:35.000 | And something as simple as getting rid of cable, setting up a free broadcast TV signal so that they can – a free broadcast TV signal so they can just simply get the news on a daily basis and a Netflix subscription to watch everything else, that can sometimes save – even with the cost of an internet connection, that can sometimes save something like $50 a month.

00:38:57.000 | If you think about the fact that $50 a month would require essentially $15,000 in a portfolio to produce that at a 4% withdrawal rate, that's a massive savings of money that they don't need.

00:39:09.000 | Help them cut housing expenses.

00:39:12.000 | A lot of ways to do that, but consider that.

00:39:14.000 | Help them if possible become comfortable with using some of the tools of the internet.

00:39:19.000 | Simple example.

00:39:20.000 | Recently I was – been thinking about working with an elderly person that I know, and this person needs transportation.

00:39:26.000 | Well, Uber is an incredible innovation for older people, and it's just going to get better because in the future what's going to happen is whether or not Uber survives as a company remains to be seen.

00:39:38.000 | They're facing a lot of litigation and who knows.

00:39:44.000 | There are some places they're very hostile to the free market competition, and there are problems in the Uber business model.

00:39:49.000 | But the cat's out of the bag as far as the value of that technology.

00:39:53.000 | I've never in my life ridden a taxi in West Palm Beach, Florida.

00:39:58.000 | It's just a hassle.

00:39:59.000 | I've ridden them obviously in New York or Boston or wherever, but taxis are just a hassle.

00:40:03.000 | But I've taken Uber, and Uber even locally is a nice backup plan.

00:40:07.000 | It can allow you to just simply do something like have one car knowing that a couple times a month you have Uber as an option.

00:40:14.000 | This is the future of technology.

00:40:16.000 | In the future, how it will be is there will be a network of self-driving cars that are essentially the taxi fleet, and they'll be coordinated through something like a mobile application.

00:40:27.000 | So instead of it being an individual driver driving their own personal automobile, there will be a taxi fleet, and these things will be going 24 hours a day going around and completely autonomous, picking people up and taking them and dropping them off.

00:40:39.000 | I think it will be a decade.

00:40:41.000 | Maybe I'm wrong and it's two.

00:40:42.000 | I have a few listeners that have written to me and told me I'm wrong with my timeline.

00:40:46.000 | I could be.

00:40:47.000 | I don't know, but I think it will be a decade.

00:40:48.000 | That will be normal.

00:40:50.000 | The only thing stopping it right now is legislative barriers.

00:40:53.000 | But if you think about being an older person, one of the most biggest challenges that older people face is the loss of autonomy, the loss of driving privileges.

00:41:03.000 | Well, if you can help your parents to be able to operate a cell phone and if you can get them access to Uber, their world just opened up.

00:41:15.000 | But you have to help them be able to operate a cell phone.

00:41:18.000 | The good thing is this.

00:41:20.000 | Cell phones are a lot easier to use than computers in sense of intuitive feedback.

00:41:25.000 | I noticed this when helping people in my life with another grandmother, not the 100-year-old one but my other grandmother.

00:41:33.000 | She wanted to learn to use the computer in her 80s.

00:41:36.000 | So we tried several times using computers, but she never could quite get the hang of clicking and using the mouse and navigating around in a Windows environment.

00:41:45.000 | But we didn't ever get her an iPad, but we got her a Kindle.

00:41:49.000 | And she was able to use the Kindle and that Kindle device made a massive difference for her.

00:41:55.000 | She couldn't see very well, but she could use the Kindle reading function where it would read the story to you, have access to all of these tons of public domain books that are available for the Kindle for free.

00:42:07.000 | And she would have access to those things, but you have to be able to get there through the technology.

00:42:12.000 | So start working on it now.

00:42:15.000 | Make sure that your parents are at a younger age.

00:42:18.000 | If your parents are 60 or 70, I don't know.

00:42:21.000 | Work to make sure they're getting comfortable with the technology because without it, a lot of the great services are not available without the ability to get there through technology.

00:42:32.000 | And there's bunches of examples of that.

00:42:35.000 | Most people are spending far more than they need to to get the same level of service simply because they're not consistent and diligent about searching out the best solutions that are available in the market.

00:42:47.000 | Next, housing.

00:42:50.000 | Think about getting rid of the house early if the house is ultimately going to be dumped.

00:42:55.000 | This is one of the biggest challenges that retirees face is what do I do with the house?

00:43:01.000 | Sometimes it's a house that's been lived in for many decades and there are a lot of memories that are associated with it.

00:43:06.000 | But ultimately, the same house that you use to raise a family is probably not ideal for a house of an independent couple.

00:43:15.000 | Now, there's different ways to approach it.

00:43:17.000 | If your parents are wealthy, they're probably going to upgrade and house.

00:43:19.000 | I've seen a lot of people that I've worked with have done this.

00:43:22.000 | They move into the retirement dream home.

00:43:24.000 | No longer do they have the same issues of, "Okay, it's got to be in a certain school district.

00:43:29.000 | Now we can just live where we want to live."

00:43:30.000 | If your parents are not wealthy, though, you've got the flip side.

00:43:33.000 | One of the challenges is often what do I do with housing?

00:43:39.000 | Recognize a few things.

00:43:41.000 | Recognize, number one, that the family probably doesn't want the house at all.

00:43:46.000 | If you don't want the house, tell your parents and hopefully they can help them get past the emotional hangup of it.

00:43:51.000 | Because if you can deal with the house with less emotion, when possible, you can make better financial decisions.

00:44:01.000 | If your parents are going to move out of their house at some point, have them move out of the house as quickly as possible in order to cut expenses.

00:44:11.000 | It's probably too big.

00:44:12.000 | It's probably too expensive.

00:44:14.000 | It's probably requiring a lot of care and a lot of hassle.

00:44:18.000 | So don't hang on to the house too long.

00:44:21.000 | If you're going to downsize, downsize quickly.

00:44:26.000 | Now, if you want to keep the house, look for a way to use it more efficiently.

00:44:31.000 | Look for a way to put those extra bedrooms to use.

00:44:33.000 | Start a home-based business.

00:44:35.000 | Look for a way to bring on a board or a tenant of some kind.

00:44:39.000 | It's not up to me to prescribe how people should live and the housing decisions they should make.

00:44:45.000 | My observation is simply that people who are in a certain phase of life often tend to be emotionally connected to the house and it's damaging over time to their financial plan.

00:44:55.000 | And I've seen many times we're trying to get them to make a change with the house.

00:44:58.000 | We're trying to get mom and dad to make a change with the house.

00:45:00.000 | Meanwhile, the house is draining mom and dad's budget.

00:45:02.000 | And finally, out of compulsion, they have to make a change.

00:45:09.000 | Well, don't get there.

00:45:11.000 | Make the decision soon.

00:45:13.000 | Keep your money and you'll be able to make a big difference.

00:45:19.000 | You'll have a lot more money and then you'll have a better solution down the road.

00:45:23.000 | Sometimes making a change in the housing situation, for example, maybe your parents keep their existing house but they just move to another living location and you help them rent that out.

00:45:35.000 | Hire a property manager to handle it.

00:45:37.000 | Sometimes that can be a much better situation where your net cash flow is much higher.

00:45:41.000 | Don't forget about the opportunity of selling the house and getting the money tax-free due to the deferral on gain from the sale of a personal residence.

00:45:49.000 | For a married couple, you can defer the gain of up to $500,000.

00:45:53.000 | So in that situation, maybe the best idea is for your parents, if they have a lot of gain, they lived in a house for many years, sell the house, recognize the gain tax-free, and then go ahead and buy another house, put a mortgage on that, take some of the tax-free money and do something else with it or invest the house, invest that money in a new house.

00:46:10.000 | Invest that money into rental properties and move into a mobile home.

00:46:14.000 | Be creative with the actual living situation and look for a way to help your parents realize the benefit from their assets, all of them.

00:46:26.000 | The ability to sell the personal residence, then to be able to recognize all of that income and have it come in as tax-free can be helpful, can be very helpful.

00:46:35.000 | What about the idea of being debt-free in retirement?

00:46:38.000 | This is one where different people have very strong perspectives, but especially as being mortgage-free.

00:46:45.000 | My perspective on this that I consider you to think about is maybe.

00:46:50.000 | If there's lots of other money, for example, I could see myself, if I live in the house that I'm living in for the next 50 years and then I'm at retirement age and I'm going to go ahead and retire and I've got lots of other money and lots of other investments and I don't have a mortgage on my personal house, there's no point in going out and getting a mortgage.

00:47:09.000 | So if there's lots of other money, then I would just keep the house mortgage-free.

00:47:13.000 | It's nice.

00:47:14.000 | There's no hassle associated with it.

00:47:16.000 | But that's if I've got lots of money.

00:47:18.000 | Now, usually the way that being mortgage-free is talked about is that it's especially important if you don't have a lot of money.

00:47:28.000 | I don't see that point anymore.

00:47:31.000 | I really don't.

00:47:32.000 | Because if you don't have a lot of money, what do you need?

00:47:36.000 | Money.

00:47:37.000 | You need income.

00:47:39.000 | And the challenge is all the money that you have in your house, if you don't have a lot of other assets, that money is tied up in an unproductive consumption item.

00:47:51.000 | It's not tied up in a productive investment.

00:47:55.000 | Additionally, if you look at the cash flow situation that a retiree faces, by definition, retirees are financially independent.

00:48:05.000 | They're financially independent of a job.

00:48:07.000 | So in this situation, having to make consistent mortgage payments is not really that big of a deal because by definition, if you're retiring, you have income.

00:48:16.000 | So I actually go the other way, and I don't see much point of retirees having debt-free houses.

00:48:24.000 | Obviously, you have to take into careful consideration the goals of the individual person.

00:48:30.000 | But usually the house that someone's living in is too big for their needs.

00:48:34.000 | It has a lot of emotional attachment because of the family history.

00:48:38.000 | None of the kids want to inherit the house when mom and dad die.

00:48:43.000 | Or if they do inherit the house, they'll immediately sell it.

00:48:47.000 | So it's better to go ahead, get rid of the property now, take the tax-free income, invest that money in an alternative investment, and figure out a different, more manageable, more cost-effective living situation.

00:48:59.000 | If I owned my house that I own right now at retirement, I'd rather sell it, buy two cheap rental houses, move into an apartment or move into a mobile home or move into an RV, something like that, and enjoy the income from the house.

00:49:16.000 | And that'll lead to a higher lifestyle down the road.

00:49:19.000 | Now, we'll see if I feel that same way at 65.

00:49:22.000 | I may or may not.

00:49:23.000 | But in the planning situations I've done with clients and we've talked about this, if a client or your parents are short of money, look and find money and put everything to productive use.

00:49:34.000 | If they're going to keep the house, put it to productive use.

00:49:38.000 | Make sure that your adult brother or sister is moving in with them and paying them rent so you're actually using the big old house.

00:49:45.000 | What about reverse mortgages?

00:49:47.000 | We're going to save reverse mortgages for another day.

00:49:50.000 | I'll short circuit it with simply this.

00:49:53.000 | I have in my career – wasn't with thousands of people but with a number of people – I have only in one situation had a client convince me that a reverse mortgage was the right solution for them.

00:50:04.000 | I don't have a problem with the fundamental idea, and I think these will grow over time.

00:50:12.000 | The problem that I have with reverse mortgages is usually the fees are high.

00:50:18.000 | That's a big deal.

00:50:20.000 | Additionally, it continues and exacerbates the major problem that I outlined, which is the house is a large consumption item and we have a minimum of investments.

00:50:30.000 | Taking the money out of the house and spending it on lifestyle means that we take one consumption item, take the value that we have from that, and we consume it on lifestyle.

00:50:39.000 | Rather than taking that money and putting it to use productively to invest for income and then being able to experience lifestyle.

00:50:48.000 | The situation that I described with regard to the reverse mortgage, the one client that I felt it was a good situation for was this client.

00:50:56.000 | He and his wife, no children.

00:50:57.000 | They were planning for their own retirement.

00:50:59.000 | They had a number of funds, but they had a house that they had built exactly the way that they wanted it.

00:51:03.000 | They'd lived there for a very long time.

00:51:05.000 | Their primary pride and joy was being on that property.

00:51:09.000 | They were gardeners.

00:51:10.000 | They loved to be on that property.

00:51:13.000 | They did not ever want to move anywhere for any reason.

00:51:17.000 | They had no children that were going to inherit the house.

00:51:20.000 | It was very important to them that they stay in the house.

00:51:23.000 | By staying in the house, they were content with being able to spend less money in other places.

00:51:28.000 | They weren't trying to own a house and trot around Europe.

00:51:31.000 | They just wanted to be at home in their house.

00:51:34.000 | In that situation, we went through it and a reverse mortgage was the best way for them to do that because it allowed them to access the equity from the house while living in it without having to pay any of the money back.

00:51:44.000 | Then at their death, then the bank would get the house.

00:51:48.000 | It was an efficient way to do it.

00:51:50.000 | The key factor there was they did not ever want to move to any other house.

00:51:56.000 | That was their number one priority.

00:51:58.000 | I said reverse mortgage was the way to go.

00:52:00.000 | But most of the other situations, the reverse mortgages don't solve the problem.

00:52:05.000 | We'll talk about reverse mortgages more another day.

00:52:09.000 | I'm sure there are many other ideas that you can integrate.

00:52:13.000 | But the key idea to wrap up this first section is just simply look and try to help your parents do exactly the same thing that you're doing and that you're trying to help your friends do, which is put together a life that they're proud of.

00:52:28.000 | A life that has meaning.

00:52:30.000 | A life that's run efficiently.

00:52:32.000 | A friend of mine calls it a low drag lifestyle.

00:52:35.000 | I think that you will be able to really enhance things.

00:52:43.000 | Now let's transition to area number two.

00:52:46.000 | What about the need for care?

00:52:48.000 | How do you help your parents plan for a life where they need care?

00:52:53.000 | This is a major financial planning consideration.

00:52:59.000 | You've got to think about the likelihood of this, which it's very likely, and then think about what are mom and dad's ideal scenarios.

00:53:11.000 | Most people will be needing some sort of care.

00:53:15.000 | So the question is how will it be provided?

00:53:17.000 | Here I think that you have a responsibility as a child to force the conversation and make the plan.

00:53:27.000 | Very few people have the guts to force this conversation, but it needs to be had at a young age while your parents are able to think about it and express their wishes.

00:53:39.000 | Because you may find yourself in the situation of trying to help them do something that they need to do and you don't know what their wishes actually are.

00:53:50.000 | Make sure that you know what their issues are and start the conversation early.

00:53:54.000 | The majority of people who need care, in my experience, will want to stay in their own home.

00:53:59.000 | That takes a lot of planning.

00:54:01.000 | And the reason it takes planning is because it takes a normal situation and adds more money for the cost of care to it.

00:54:09.000 | Consider this.

00:54:10.000 | Most people don't have enough money to retire.

00:54:12.000 | If they do have enough money to retire, chances are they have just enough money to retire.

00:54:17.000 | And if they have more than enough money to retire, chances are they're spending more of their money, intelligently so, to try to say,

00:54:26.000 | "I'm going to spend off this higher excess income and enjoy my retirement years with higher spending."

00:54:33.000 | There are some people who will be the glittering rich where they're so wealthy that this is not a planning event.

00:54:40.000 | But the majority of you listening will be in one of those situations.

00:54:42.000 | Not enough money to retire, just enough money to retire, or slightly more than enough money to retire so we're spending a higher income.

00:54:50.000 | Consider this.

00:54:51.000 | There's a set current lifestyle, but then you have to add on to that the cost of care.

00:54:58.000 | Private nurses to come into the home to help out, someone to come in and help out with cleaning the house, things like that.

00:55:05.000 | How does the financial plan sustain that additional cost?

00:55:09.000 | For most people, it doesn't.

00:55:12.000 | So, likely, your parents, if they need care, will want to stay in their own home, but how are they going to pay for it?

00:55:19.000 | That's the major problem.

00:55:22.000 | It's the major financial problem around solving for the cost of care.

00:55:27.000 | So what can you do?

00:55:28.000 | Well, number one, help your parents to stay healthy if possible.

00:55:32.000 | I know this is something that I'm constantly encouraging my parents.

00:55:35.000 | They do a great job of it, but staying healthy is key, number one.

00:55:39.000 | Staying active.

00:55:41.000 | The research that I have read surrounding aging, it basically comes down to movement, exercise.

00:55:49.000 | It comes down to physical movement, quality of nutrition to a certain degree, and mental engagement.

00:55:56.000 | So help your parents stay active.

00:55:58.000 | Help them stay engaged, which is why I labored that point so much in the beginning.

00:56:02.000 | If you help your parents stay engaged, it will help at every single part of life.

00:56:09.000 | Help them to stay active and healthy.

00:56:12.000 | Weight training at every age does the body good, even if your parents are starting at the age of 80.

00:56:16.000 | My grandparents, I remember they didn't work out as younger people, but then sometime in what would have been their 80s, they started working out.

00:56:23.000 | 70s, I think they would have been probably.

00:56:25.000 | They started working out.

00:56:26.000 | And then into their late 80s, still going to the gym, and my grandmother was 95 years old, but every day do her exercises.

00:56:33.000 | Made a huge difference in her quality of life where she didn't need care until the last few weeks of her life.

00:56:40.000 | So help them stay healthy.

00:56:42.000 | Now let's talk about money and stay focused on that.

00:56:45.000 | Where do we get the money for care?

00:56:47.000 | Well, long-term care insurance is an ideal solution to this problem.

00:56:52.000 | But for many of you, if you're planning for an elderly parent, it's simply too late.

00:56:57.000 | Long-term care insurance is tough for older people to buy and it's tough for them to be able to afford.

00:57:05.000 | Older people are often denied coverage and the cost of coverage is simply too high.

00:57:11.000 | It's a sweet deal for younger people.

00:57:16.000 | One of my big beefs with mainstream personal finance is this recommendation that people buy long-term care insurance when they're 65.

00:57:24.000 | The average 65-year-old I found can't afford it, and especially recently, policy prices have increased substantially over the last four or five years.

00:57:31.000 | And if you're at 65, it's too expensive.

00:57:35.000 | If you're over 70, it's almost certainly too expensive and too late.

00:57:39.000 | So you got to get the stuff young, and that market is changing.

00:57:43.000 | I actually own a policy.

00:57:44.000 | My wife owns a policy that I got, which was the last of the lifetime benefit period.

00:57:48.000 | So I have a policy with unlimited benefits.

00:57:51.000 | These policies used to be the norm, but the insurance companies started pooling them, and I went ahead and bought a small policy just because it was so cheap.

00:57:58.000 | So cheap, I could put the premiums through my business, fully deductible premiums and potentially a massive benefit, and it dovetails nicely with my disability insurance program.

00:58:09.000 | But if you're over 70, your parents are over 70, it's probably too expensive and probably too late.

00:58:15.000 | Now, if they have a policy, hopefully they do, read it. Review the policy and understand the benefits.

00:58:23.000 | For example, are the benefits capped at a certain dollar amount or a certain length of time?

00:58:28.000 | Some policies have unlimited benefits.

00:58:30.000 | My policy does.

00:58:32.000 | Some policies have limited benefits.

00:58:35.000 | Nothing wrong with either approach, but it's going to result in a different perspective than – depending on which of these choices that you use.

00:58:44.000 | The nice thing about unlimited benefits, if your policy has that, is you will use the care immediately instead of focusing on trying to figure out how do I save these benefits for when they're really needed.

00:58:55.000 | It's one of the reasons why when I was selling long-term care insurance and it was available, I was so passionate about unlimited benefits because I believe the primary purpose of a long-term care insurance policy is to get care.

00:59:07.000 | I always felt that my clients would be best served with unlimited benefits because then if they needed care, they were more likely to use the benefits at an early age to get the appropriate care, which resulted in a higher standard of living instead of always saving benefits.

00:59:22.000 | "Well, I don't know if I'm going to need a lot more care and I've only got $400,000 in this policy, so when should I use these benefits?"

00:59:29.000 | So I really loved unlimited benefits.

00:59:31.000 | Unfortunately, in today's market, they're gone.

00:59:33.000 | You can't get them anymore.

00:59:34.000 | But you want to read the policy and understand because you're going to manage that policy and those benefits for your parents.

00:59:41.000 | Are the policies companion policies?

00:59:44.000 | Understand the plan.

00:59:45.000 | Understand what it will cover.

00:59:47.000 | For example, if it's limited benefits, one of the things that the way that almost all policies – I'm not aware of any policy that doesn't work like this, but there might be, which is why I'm hedging my statement just a little bit.

00:59:57.000 | But one of the things to be aware of is if your policy provides a certain amount of daily benefit for a certain period of time, let's say that it provides $200 a day or $6,000 a month for a period of time and then it's capped at say $200,000 of coverage.

01:00:13.000 | Then in that situation, you will want to know that that's simply the maximum that it will cover.

01:00:22.000 | If it covers $6,000 a month of cost of care but your actual expenses are only $1,000 a month, the $5,000 will still be there in the account value for the policy that you can use at a later date.

01:00:36.000 | So get care early and get part-time care just here and there if your parents need that.

01:00:43.000 | Look to see if your policy has any useful features.

01:00:47.000 | For example, is it a companion policy?

01:00:50.000 | Many states' Medicaid programs have passed this concept in order to encourage people to buy long-term care insurance policies.

01:00:57.000 | They've passed legislation that they call companion policies.

01:01:01.000 | So the idea here is if you bought a policy with $300,000 benefit, then you can exempt up to $300,000 of your assets from needing to be spent in order to qualify for Medicaid.

01:01:13.000 | So it allows you to keep a certain level of assets on hand and still get Medicaid if or when your policy benefits run out.

01:01:19.000 | That's important to know.

01:01:21.000 | So if there's long-term care insurance, manage the policy carefully.

01:01:25.000 | If there isn't long-term care insurance, then you need to think with them and talk about what the plan would be and what do they want.

01:01:31.000 | In-home health care is expensive.

01:01:34.000 | Can they afford it?

01:01:36.000 | Can you afford it?

01:01:38.000 | Can you split it among siblings?

01:01:41.000 | If they needed care, where would they live?

01:01:43.000 | Would they live in their home?

01:01:44.000 | Would they move in with you or with other family members?

01:01:46.000 | You have to plan ahead.

01:01:48.000 | Think very soberly about the statistics regarding care.

01:01:52.000 | The big one that shocked me when I learned it and really made a difference for me is the impact on the spouse who is doing the caregiving.

01:01:59.000 | The impact on the health and life expectancy of a spouse who is providing care for their spouse is incredible, very high incidence of disease and a shortened lifespan.

01:02:12.000 | But the impact of giving care affects everyone.

01:02:16.000 | Just think about it and talk about what the plan is going to be.

01:02:22.000 | If your parents would like some sort of institutional care, shop around early.

01:02:27.000 | For example, there's a type of institutional care called continuing care retirement communities, CCRCs.

01:02:32.000 | Those have – the way they work is there's a certain buy-in cost and then if you buy in, you get a certain amount of care and you get – excuse me.

01:02:40.000 | You get care throughout your lifetime based upon your buy-in cost.

01:02:43.000 | Things like that, you need to do it at a young age because the way they work is it's a form of insurance without actually having insurance without being administered through an insurance policy and you want to get in at a young age.

01:02:54.000 | So talking about what the plans are for your parents, talking about what they would like, figuring out what their benefits are – excuse me, what their ability is financially and then researching what's available locally to you as far as options and doing it early will make a massive difference.

01:03:12.000 | And by doing it early, you'll probably be able to avoid the negative effects of it and be able to avoid maybe even ever needing or using the care.

01:03:21.000 | Consider that.

01:03:24.000 | Consider doing some Medicaid planning and the idea here is how do I make sure that my parents are well qualified for Medicaid if they ever need it with a maximum amount of protection?

01:03:34.000 | Medicaid is a state-administered program and you will need to research the laws in your state.

01:03:39.000 | But if possible, one of your planning considerations would be to maximize the Medicaid-exempt assets so that if one of your parents needed care, they wouldn't have to spend all of their money before qualifying for Medicaid.

01:03:59.000 | Medicaid is broke and it's going to get broker and broker and broker and benefits in Medicaid have been continually cut back and continually curtailed and I expect that to continue.

01:04:12.000 | But at least in the meantime, work to get everything that you can out of it.

01:04:30.000 | Medicaid now at this point has a five-year look-back period, which means that if you were to make any transfers or make any arrangements, they can go back five years and they look and look for transfers of assets.

01:04:42.000 | For example, you can't get to the point of saying, "Okay, my parents have hundreds of thousands of dollars of property.

01:04:47.000 | We're just going to transfer all that property from my parents to me and then now we'll apply for Medicaid."

01:04:52.000 | Well, Medicaid will look back and they will either undo that transfer or they won't provide the benefits until that amount of money has been spent on their care.

01:05:00.000 | That's how they actually handle it.

01:05:02.000 | So you've got to do planning in advance.

01:05:05.000 | But one of the hats – one point that you want to sit down and look at is say, "Okay, with regard to Medicaid planning, how would I make my parent's situation ideal if we were going to use Medicaid as a resource to pay for the cost of their care?"

01:05:20.000 | This might go against some of my earlier advice.

01:05:22.000 | For example, if you're doing Medicaid planning, depending on what your state allows for the value of a primary residence, you might actually maximize the value of a primary residence and keep the assets in that.

01:05:33.000 | It's a fairly specialized field, but it's worth doing and worth thinking about.

01:05:38.000 | Figure out what assets are included.

01:05:40.000 | Figure out which assets are excluded for the purposes of Medicaid.

01:05:43.000 | If there's going to be any transfer of assets, you've got to do it long before your parents ever need care because of that five-year look-back period.

01:05:53.000 | Finally, let's turn to the topic of estate planning.

01:05:56.000 | This is the third major category.

01:05:59.000 | We know that we're all going to die.

01:06:02.000 | Some of us live like we know that and some of us live like we don't.

01:06:05.000 | But realistically, we're all going to die.

01:06:08.000 | If you are 80 years old, you're more likely to die in the next 30 years than if you're 20.

01:06:14.000 | It's as simple as that.

01:06:16.000 | Since all of us are going to die, we should all be planning for what would happen in that situation.

01:06:21.000 | We should be planning for that in the way that we live our life so that we know what happens after death.

01:06:26.000 | We should also be planning for that with what happens with our family members and our loved ones and our affairs and our estates in case of death.

01:06:35.000 | This is a huge massive subject with many aspects.

01:06:40.000 | But put simply, do the same planning and make sure your parents have sat down and done some simple planning and created a planner.

01:06:49.000 | Create lists of instructions.

01:06:52.000 | There are various books you can look up of how to do it.

01:06:54.000 | There are kits that you can buy.

01:06:56.000 | But the key is to be organized, as organized as possible.

01:06:59.000 | Focus first on legacy.

01:07:01.000 | What is the legacy that your parents want to leave behind to their family?

01:07:06.000 | Maybe they want to shoot a video.

01:07:09.000 | You can do this as a birthday present.

01:07:11.000 | You can hire a professional videographer to have them kind of give a speech, a way that they want to be remembered for their grandkids.

01:07:18.000 | Or maybe they can – some other kind of legacy project.

01:07:21.000 | There's all kinds of interesting ideas that people have on this.

01:07:26.000 | But that stuff matters.

01:07:28.000 | But there are some more practical things.

01:07:31.000 | Make sure that if they own any businesses that you are aware of what the plan is for their business disposition.

01:07:37.000 | Do they have buy/sell agreements in their businesses?

01:07:39.000 | Have they located buyers for their businesses?

01:07:41.000 | Many people die with businesses and they have never found a buyer.

01:07:45.000 | They've never arranged a presale.

01:07:47.000 | And the business has relatively little value because it's being fire-sold and the owner of the business was the primary driver of the business.

01:07:55.000 | So it's more applicable for younger people than for older people.

01:07:58.000 | But make sure you've helped them figure that out.

01:08:01.000 | Make sure that all of their basic documents are squared away.

01:08:04.000 | They need to make sure that they have health care directives established.

01:08:07.000 | They need to have their written instructions for what they want to happen in case of their health care.

01:08:13.000 | Recognize this is probably going to happen and they need to have these documents squared away.

01:08:18.000 | Go ahead and set up the appropriate powers of attorney for financial management.

01:08:22.000 | And there are a few different types of powers of attorney.

01:08:24.000 | We'll probably do a standalone show in the future but research it.

01:08:27.000 | Set up the appropriate either durable power of attorney or a springing power of attorney, something that comes into force upon a certain event such as the incapacity of your parents.

01:08:37.000 | Make sure that they have properly established their wills.

01:08:41.000 | Make sure that they've been updated.

01:08:43.000 | This happened in our family.

01:08:44.000 | One of my grandparents died with a very old will and it was a major problem.

01:08:49.000 | And it was – I can't take all of the blame but I feel a little bit of blame for not getting involved.

01:08:56.000 | He died when I was a few years into the financial planning business.

01:08:59.000 | But when you become a financial planner, the biggest challenge that you face often is having the guts to talk to people about this stuff.

01:09:05.000 | And I didn't have the guts to talk to my grandparents and review their estate planning.

01:09:10.000 | I wish I had.

01:09:11.000 | I wish I had because it would have saved a lot of money and a lot of hassle.

01:09:15.000 | But make sure that your wills and trusts are squared away.

01:09:19.000 | It's important that you go through and review all of the insurance policies.

01:09:24.000 | Number one, to make sure the insurance policies are healthy.

01:09:27.000 | Here I'm thinking of life insurance, long-term care insurance.

01:09:29.000 | Number two, making sure that the insurance policies' premiums are going to be paid.

01:09:35.000 | Also, to review beneficiary designations.

01:09:40.000 | You need to make sure that the entire estate plan of what's going to happen for all of the assets is set in advance and it's appropriate.

01:09:48.000 | If your parents are planning to provide for the college education of your children and they have a life insurance policy, don't have the money come directly to you.

01:09:58.000 | Have the money go directly to your kids so that they can use the money for their college education.

01:10:03.000 | Now, you'll need to establish an appropriate custodial account.

01:10:06.000 | You'll need to make sure that there are proper safeguards on it.

01:10:09.000 | But the point is make sure the money goes to the right person.

01:10:11.000 | So review all of the insurance documents.

01:10:13.000 | Review all of the bank and brokerage accounts and make sure that every single account has the appropriate beneficiary designations or the appropriate account ownership structure.

01:10:26.000 | Go through every single one because there's always one or two that are missed.

01:10:32.000 | And you got to make this a project.

01:10:35.000 | Verify the primary beneficiary and the contingent beneficiary for each and every account.

01:10:41.000 | If the account doesn't have a beneficiary designation, make sure it's a transfer on death account.

01:10:46.000 | For example, your bank accounts, they don't have beneficiary designations.

01:10:49.000 | But if you'll go ahead and establish that as a transfer on death account, then that money doesn't need to have to go through the probate process because it already has the instructions on the account.

01:10:58.000 | Or make sure it's a joint ownership account of some kind if that's appropriate so as to avoid probate.

01:11:05.000 | Go through all of the pensions.

01:11:07.000 | Big one, review their beneficiary designations as far as even their pension choices.

01:11:13.000 | Since this show is aimed at older parents, it's probably too late to make a decision.

01:11:17.000 | But if you have younger parents, make sure that you're involved.

01:11:20.000 | If your mom is going to take the pension, make sure that you've reviewed the survivor benefits.

01:11:26.000 | And has she chosen the single life income or the joint life income?

01:11:30.000 | Make sure that there are comprehensive listings of all accounts, all credit cards, all bank accounts, all debt payments with account numbers, with information, with balances, all of that.

01:11:47.000 | Make sure that you have access and your parents have created a system of passwords, that you have access to their entire list of passwords.

01:11:56.000 | Get one of the books that helps you plan these things and make sure there's a comprehensive list.

01:12:02.000 | It'll be a lot easier if you know, "Okay, dad died. Mom died.

01:12:08.000 | We've gone ahead and we've had the funeral and now I'm going to go in."

01:12:12.000 | You sit down at their desk and you pull open the drawer on the right and there is a little letter there and a little packet and it opens up.

01:12:18.000 | And it's a carefully written letter from your father or your mother saying, "Son, daughter, I love you.

01:12:24.000 | I just want to tell you how proud I am of you. I'm sorry I'm not going to be here for this, this, this."

01:12:29.000 | But it's a heartfelt letter of a kind of a final communication.

01:12:32.000 | That'd be a nice place to start.

01:12:35.000 | Then you open it up and there are instructions on where the safety deposit box is located.

01:12:39.000 | And you go to the safety deposit box and you pull out the packet.

01:12:42.000 | And there's a carefully organized plan that says, "Here's every account. Here's everything listed out.

01:12:48.000 | Here are all the account numbers. Here are the passwords. Here's the online access.

01:12:52.000 | Here's what I want to happen with all of these things. Here's the copy of the will.

01:12:55.000 | Here's the copy of all the legal documents."

01:12:58.000 | And everything is organized and smooth and simple.

01:13:04.000 | Do it now and help your parents do it now.

01:13:09.000 | This is the most neglected thing that we often do in finance.

01:13:13.000 | I've even neglected it in my own life. I've got to make some changes and update my own plan.

01:13:17.000 | And what happens is we get busy.

01:13:20.000 | I'm busy starting a new business, busy with just life and so many things.

01:13:24.000 | And this is always one of those things that's important but it's not urgent.

01:13:28.000 | So we don't necessarily make it happen.

01:13:32.000 | But make it happen and help them to make it happen.

01:13:37.000 | We'll do more shows on things like estate taxes, etc., estate taxes, income taxes.

01:13:44.000 | Estate planning is a massive subject and I just mentioned there kind of the cursory overview.

01:13:51.000 | But I think if you'll help in conclusion, if you think if you'll help your parents simply get organized

01:13:58.000 | and if you can find a way to help them with the tools, connect them with a professional planner,

01:14:02.000 | help them set up the appointment with an attorney to get their documents squared away,

01:14:06.000 | help them establish a planner and start to fill it in.

01:14:09.000 | You can get these things.

01:14:11.000 | They're simple.

01:14:12.000 | You can go to a local funeral home and the funeral home will have a planner

01:14:16.000 | or your local estate attorney will have a planner for you and they'll say, "Here.

01:14:19.000 | Here's a planner to start with."

01:14:20.000 | This is kind of a promotional item for a lot of financial people and they're good.

01:14:23.000 | They're a good place to start.

01:14:24.000 | It's writing things down and it forces the thought conversation.

01:14:28.000 | Then start to work with them.

01:14:31.000 | If you work with them just by focus, you'll improve things.

01:14:35.000 | In essence, this show is intended to say here's how I help my older parents.

01:14:40.000 | But the reality is it's no different helping older parents than it is helping you and me.

01:14:46.000 | That's what – it's funny.

01:14:48.000 | I often think about how I express things on the show.

01:14:51.000 | There are a few unique things.

01:14:53.000 | But the only thing that's different about being 75 years old and being 35 years old

01:14:57.000 | is that you've got fewer years expected in your plan.

01:15:02.000 | But sitting down and saying what are the goals, what do we have,

01:15:05.000 | what are the things that we need to do and just one of the goals the 75-year-old often has is

01:15:09.000 | I need to make sure things are squared away because more likely I'm going to die in the next 30 years

01:15:13.000 | than the 35-year-old.

01:15:15.000 | But we still have to do exactly the same planning for the 35-year-old.

01:15:18.000 | In reality, there's almost – there's very little difference but there's a lot of difference.

01:15:22.000 | I hope that you'll be able just to apply not only some of the checklist ideas in today's show

01:15:27.000 | but also some of the ideas in so many other shows to helping your parents.

01:15:33.000 | I believe that my hope is that by educating all of you who are listening,

01:15:37.000 | you'll be able to go and you'll help other people.

01:15:40.000 | You'll help educate other people.

01:15:42.000 | You'll help your parents. You'll help your kids. You'll help your friends.

01:15:44.000 | You'll help your coworkers.

01:15:45.000 | You've got to be careful with boundaries.

01:15:47.000 | It's important to keep appropriate boundaries.

01:15:49.000 | But you'll be able to educate other people and then that will continue.

01:15:53.000 | Then over time, you're going to change the nation, change the community, change the culture,

01:15:57.000 | and change the world a little bit at a time.

01:16:01.000 | Thank you so much for listening.

01:16:02.000 | I hope this is helpful to you.

01:16:06.000 | I'm doing my best to create a useful product for you, a useful podcast here for you.

01:16:11.000 | At some point, I'd actually like to create a standalone product on this,

01:16:15.000 | kind of one of the fancy binders and information on each of these subjects in detail.

01:16:22.000 | There are some good books out there but I haven't seen many multimedia presentations.

01:16:26.000 | So at some point, I'd like to do that.

01:16:28.000 | I'm interested if you would buy something like that.

01:16:30.000 | I'm thinking of an expensive info product.

01:16:32.000 | I don't know how expensive, a few hundred dollars,

01:16:34.000 | but it would be fancy with a binder and with a book and with instructions and explanations

01:16:40.000 | so that you can kind of be your own planner.

01:16:41.000 | I'd love to know.

01:16:42.000 | Shoot me an email, Josh, at RadicalPersonalFinance.com and let me know if you'd buy anything like that.

01:16:46.000 | It's a lower priority product idea I have but maybe someday I'll do it.

01:16:49.000 | If you'd like to support the show, please do so at RadicalPersonalFinance.com/patron.

01:16:53.000 | The show is listener-supported, 100%, RadicalPersonalFinance.com/patron.

01:16:58.000 | Thank you for your support.

01:16:59.000 | Thank you for listening to today's show.

01:17:01.000 | Please subscribe to the podcast with our free mobile app so you don't miss a single episode.

01:17:06.000 | Just search the App Store on your device for Radical Personal Finance and you'll find our free app.

01:17:12.000 | If you have received value from the content of this show, please consider becoming a patron.

01:17:17.000 | Your financial support is how I pay the bills for the show and how I plan to grow our content.

01:17:22.000 | You can support the show with as little as a dollar a month or as much as you feel the content is worth.

01:17:27.000 | Details are at RadicalPersonalFinance.com/patron.

01:17:31.000 | If you'd like to contact me personally, my email address is Joshua@RadicalPersonalFinance.com

01:17:37.000 | or connect with the show on Twitter @RadicalPF and at Facebook.com/RadicalPersonalFinance.

01:17:43.000 | This show is intended to provide entertainment, education, and financial enlightenment,

01:17:49.000 | but your situation is unique and I cannot deliver any actionable advice without knowing anything about you.

01:17:56.000 | Please, develop a team of professional advisors who you find to be caring, competent, and trustworthy

01:18:03.000 | and consult them because they are the ones who can understand your specific needs,

01:18:08.000 | your specific goals, and provide specific answers to your questions.

01:18:13.000 | I've done my absolute best to be clear and accurate in today's show, but I'm one person and I make mistakes.

01:18:19.000 | If you spot a mistake in something I've said, please come by the show page and comment so we can all learn together.

01:18:25.000 | Until tomorrow, thanks for being here.

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01:18:55.400 | [music]

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