ACBC Counseling Exam 1 - The Importance of the First Session

00:00:00.000 | a great joy to see each of you on this class in this online format,

00:00:05.580 | and we're looking forward to a great number of weeks studying the word of God together.

00:00:11.640 | I just want to thank you for joining us tonight,

00:00:15.420 | and we're just so glad that you're able to be part of this training.

00:00:19.320 | We want to give a welcome to those of you who are continuing students.

00:00:26.700 | Many of you in this class were with me last year,

00:00:30.340 | and you were working through the 24 theology exam questions,

00:00:35.240 | and we were able to complete that study in December,

00:00:38.700 | and now you are joining us for the 20 counseling sessions,

00:00:42.860 | the counseling exam questions this January,

00:00:46.300 | and so I want to welcome those of you who are continuing.

00:00:50.180 | I also want to welcome new students to this class.

00:00:54.380 | Many of you were with me in year 1 biblical counseling last year,

00:00:59.340 | and completed that training in December,

00:01:02.760 | and you're jumping into year 2,

00:01:04.700 | and so this is your first time in the intermediate biblical counseling class,

00:01:09.980 | and you'll be jumping right into the 20 counseling exam

00:01:14.320 | questions as part of the phase 2 ACBC training,

00:01:18.780 | and we want to give a warm welcome to you who are starting phase 2 of

00:01:24.120 | ACBC's training, this is going to be a wonderful study,

00:01:28.420 | and one that I trust will be a blessing and encouragement to you.

00:01:32.020 | Wherever you are in the training,

00:01:33.900 | just want to give you a welcome.

00:01:36.620 | Thank you for joining us,

00:01:38.260 | and as we work through the 20 counseling exam questions,

00:01:42.480 | which are part of ACBC's phase 2 training,

00:01:46.980 | I do hope and pray that we will be able to grow both in our understanding of

00:01:52.140 | counseling methods but also in just our own lives,

00:01:57.060 | in our own interactions with others in the church,

00:02:01.140 | our own relational skills.

00:02:02.580 | This is an opportunity for each of us to think through how we are

00:02:06.980 | conducting ourselves in relational ministry and to grow in

00:02:11.860 | the practical skills that are necessary for an effective biblical counseling ministry.

00:02:18.820 | We do look forward to a wonderful time together.

00:02:24.380 | As we look at counseling exam number 1,

00:02:28.940 | we're going to be starting with that topic tonight,

00:02:32.780 | the introductory session,

00:02:34.820 | and I think this will be a wonderful study.

00:02:37.340 | Let me pray for us and devote our time to the Lord,

00:02:39.880 | and ask the Lord to bless our time together. Let's pray.

00:02:43.700 | Holy Father, thank you so much for your amazing grace and mercy,

00:02:50.260 | and just thank you for the wonders of our salvation,

00:02:55.340 | for the joy of knowing Christ.

00:02:58.320 | Thank you for the blood of our Savior,

00:03:02.460 | which cleanses us from all of our sins.

00:03:04.780 | We thank you that we are accepted and beloved in Christ,

00:03:09.700 | and through the work that he has done for us on the cross,

00:03:13.740 | through his glorious resurrection from the grave.

00:03:15.940 | We thank you that we do not fear death,

00:03:20.620 | that death is merely the gateway through which we go home and be with the Lord.

00:03:31.460 | We thank you, Father, that you've given to us the hope of eternal life,

00:03:35.220 | and we thank you that Lord,

00:03:38.780 | because of the assurances of the promises of your word,

00:03:42.980 | that we have hope and that we can have joy in every season of life.

00:03:49.020 | We thank you for the ministry of your spirit who lives in us,

00:03:52.140 | and who bears his sweet fruit in us.

00:03:55.460 | We pray that your spirit would take your word tonight and change us,

00:04:02.460 | make us and mold us into more of what you want us to be.

00:04:05.720 | Bless each student as we continue our training.

00:04:10.100 | Father, as we put pen to paper,

00:04:13.060 | as we put our thoughts down in a format where others can evaluate it objectively,

00:04:20.420 | Father, I pray that this would be a clarifying,

00:04:23.200 | refining process for each of us in this training program,

00:04:27.460 | and that the result of our study would be

00:04:30.780 | effective counseling ministry that would be used by you to change lives for your glory.

00:04:37.460 | We dedicate this class to you,

00:04:40.060 | and we give to you this hour of study.

00:04:42.300 | We pray that you would bless it in Jesus' name.

00:04:44.820 | Amen. Amen.

00:04:48.660 | Well, if you look at the first page of your class handout,

00:04:52.460 | I want to jump right in to counseling exam number 1 tonight,

00:04:59.020 | which is the topic of the importance of the first session.

00:05:02.860 | So we're going to be looking at a very practical subject tonight.

00:05:07.300 | We're looking at how do we conduct a first session with a counselee.

00:05:14.660 | Perhaps in a potential counseling scenario,

00:05:18.580 | you will be meeting with a counselee that you have never met before.

00:05:23.540 | Perhaps you'll be ministering in your local church as part of the counseling ministry,

00:05:28.860 | and you will be asked to meet with someone

00:05:32.660 | who doesn't even attend the church,

00:05:35.780 | who possibly lives in the community,

00:05:37.460 | or maybe has some marginal involvement with the local church.

00:05:43.340 | And you'll be asked to do a first session with a counselee.

00:05:49.780 | And then there are the counseling situations where you do know this person.

00:05:54.500 | Perhaps this person is a faithful member of your local church.

00:05:58.900 | Perhaps there are relational connections between you and the counselee already formed.

00:06:05.660 | Perhaps you already have a relationship that has gone on through years.

00:06:11.020 | And yet in a formal counseling session,

00:06:14.340 | you'll be asked to conduct a first session with a counselee.

00:06:18.260 | So this essay topic really is dealing with a very practical issue.

00:06:24.900 | How do you structure and organize and plan for the first session with your counselee?

00:06:32.220 | And you are asked to write one essay of about a page to a page and a half on this subject.

00:06:41.780 | So this is a practical essay,

00:06:45.940 | and we do want to think through how do we practically plan for a first session?

00:06:52.940 | My prayer and my desire for each of you is that you will have many good first sessions with counselees,

00:07:01.820 | and that these good first sessions will lead to further sessions.

00:07:06.820 | And as you have good first sessions,

00:07:09.700 | which set the tone and the agenda and the goal for the counseling sessions,

00:07:16.100 | that that will lead to effective ministry in your counseling ministry.

00:07:24.580 | I have had my share of first sessions with counselees,

00:07:28.820 | which have honestly not gone well.

00:07:31.380 | I've had my share of poorly conducted first sessions,

00:07:37.140 | and I've tried to learn from my mistakes.

00:07:39.340 | And some of this session will be some of the things not to do in a first session.

00:07:45.140 | And I've also had, by the grace of God, my share of good first sessions,

00:07:50.140 | which have gone well and have led to further counseling meetings.

00:07:55.860 | And I've tried to learn from both the good and the bad.

00:07:59.140 | I've also learned to talk to my fellow counselors in the counseling ministry,

00:08:04.900 | who are also conducting their first sessions.

00:08:08.380 | And I have just learned, quite honestly, to beg, borrow, and steal whatever works,

00:08:14.260 | the practices, and even the organizations,

00:08:20.180 | the schedules that seem to work in first sessions,

00:08:23.340 | and to use that in my own counseling ministry.

00:08:26.260 | There's nothing new under the sun.

00:08:27.780 | If it works in counseling ministry, then I do try to use it.

00:08:31.340 | And just try to learn from other counselors,

00:08:33.500 | as well as learning from my own mistakes and the things that have gone well.

00:08:39.460 | So I am teaching this session tonight with that prayer

00:08:44.100 | that some of these best practices will be passed on to you,

00:08:48.740 | and that you will take them, and that you won't be afraid of conducting

00:08:53.380 | first sessions that go poorly.

00:08:56.620 | I always say counseling is like riding a bike.

00:08:59.100 | The only way to learn to ride the bike is to fall off and get back on the bike.

00:09:03.900 | And so to do good counseling, you do have to do some bad counseling.

00:09:10.140 | That's just the nature of the training process.

00:09:13.860 | But I do pray that you will have many good first sessions.

00:09:18.340 | When a first session with a counselee goes well,

00:09:21.700 | it just really sets the tone and the expectations for future meetings

00:09:26.460 | and it is a means by which a relationship is built.

00:09:31.020 | And I pray that God will give you many good first sessions

00:09:34.700 | in a counseling ministry.

00:09:38.620 | You can, by the way, recover from poor first sessions.

00:09:42.620 | You can do-- if you have a poor first session,

00:09:45.260 | you can do a good second and third session and recover.

00:09:48.020 | So there's hope for all of us in counseling ministry.

00:09:53.340 | So on your handout there, I've listed a few helpful resources

00:09:57.340 | that I would highly recommend, especially the first resource there

00:10:02.340 | by Jeremy Pierre and Deepak Raju.

00:10:05.020 | That's a book that's entitled The Pastor and Counseling.

00:10:09.060 | And it's not just for pastors.

00:10:10.620 | It really is an introductory book that contains the basic principles

00:10:16.700 | of biblical counseling.

00:10:17.740 | It's a very, very helpful work, very condensed.

00:10:22.780 | It packs a lot of helpful material in a short amount of space.

00:10:27.540 | And basically, this book is a one-stop resource

00:10:31.220 | that a pastor who needs to do counseling but doesn't really

00:10:35.740 | have time to go through an entire three-year ACBC training course.

00:10:41.020 | What is one book that would really summarize

00:10:45.060 | the essential components of biblical counseling for a busy pastor?

00:10:49.900 | And Jeremy Pierre and Deepak Raju have done a phenomenal job

00:10:53.460 | in condensing very helpful material in one small book.

00:10:59.060 | And if there's one book I would recommend

00:11:01.060 | on just the practical issues that arise in counseling,

00:11:05.380 | it would be Pierre and Raju's book, The Pastor and Counseling.

00:11:09.580 | In that book, there's a very helpful chapter

00:11:12.420 | that's called The Initial Meeting on Chapter 4.

00:11:15.940 | It's a very helpful summary of many of the principles

00:11:20.700 | you will want to cover in this essay exam.

00:11:23.620 | And I would just recommend that book to you.

00:11:27.820 | Some other resources that we've already mentioned in the year one

00:11:31.220 | training, Jay Adams, The Christian Counselor's Manual,

00:11:34.580 | chapter 20 of that resource has a section on getting started.

00:11:39.820 | And Adams talks about the importance of a first session

00:11:45.140 | in counseling ministry.

00:11:47.020 | And then the two books that I signed as part of the year one training,

00:11:50.420 | we have John MacArthur's book, How to Counsel Biblically,

00:11:54.340 | and Paul Tripp's book, Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands.

00:11:59.340 | You will recall from our year one training materials

00:12:02.580 | that we covered the six key elements of biblical counseling,

00:12:07.020 | otherwise known as the six I's of biblical counseling.

00:12:10.580 | And we'll do a brief review of that tonight.

00:12:13.940 | And I'm going to suggest in our session tonight that your essay

00:12:18.780 | for counseling exam number one should be a summary of about four

00:12:25.220 | of the six I's of biblical counseling.

00:12:28.700 | If you cover four key elements of biblical counseling,

00:12:33.420 | and then briefly discuss them, articulate them,

00:12:38.020 | and then apply them to the first session,

00:12:40.260 | how would you apply this key element in a first session with a counselee,

00:12:46.340 | you would write a very good essay.

00:12:49.060 | And so I'll talk through some of that as we go along.

00:12:52.300 | But for the purposes of the resource, I just want to mention

00:12:56.140 | that the key elements are covered in these chapters

00:13:00.540 | on your first page of your course notes.

00:13:05.500 | Wayne Mack has some really good material in how to counsel biblically

00:13:11.100 | on the six I's of biblical counseling.

00:13:13.500 | And then Paul Tripp as well has some very good material there.

00:13:17.020 | So if you want to review the six I's, review the six key elements

00:13:20.940 | of biblical counseling, those are some places that you can find

00:13:25.100 | some really good discussion on this topic.

00:13:30.180 | And then three blogs that I would recommend to you.

00:13:33.580 | Ken Long has a good blog that's entitled

00:13:37.380 | "Plan to Get Hope During the First Counseling Session."

00:13:41.100 | Michael Hines has a good blog on "That First Counseling Session."

00:13:46.220 | And then Paul Toczkis has a good blog on

00:13:49.460 | "Basic Guidance for the First Counseling Session."

00:13:53.260 | Now, you're going to find, and I'm going to make an argument tonight,

00:13:56.740 | that basically the three blogs are saying the same thing in different ways.

00:14:04.060 | They're going to the six key elements of biblical counseling.

00:14:08.500 | They're highlighting three to four of those key elements,

00:14:12.340 | and they're showing you how you would express or apply those key elements

00:14:16.660 | in a first counseling session.

00:14:19.540 | They do it in a little bit different way.

00:14:21.620 | They don't all call them the six I's.

00:14:23.820 | They use different language for that.

00:14:25.380 | But you'll find that the material is very similar.

00:14:29.220 | They're essentially taking the key elements of biblical counseling

00:14:32.940 | and then applying them to a first session.

00:14:35.740 | And I would suggest that that is a very good approach for you

00:14:39.140 | to write this essay, taking the key elements

00:14:42.540 | and then summarizing them and showing them

00:14:45.060 | how you would personally apply those key elements in a first counseling session.

00:14:50.980 | That's a very good way to talk through or walk through this essay topic.

00:14:58.460 | And so let me just read the question for us.

00:15:02.020 | Counseling exam number one is, "What issue should be covered

00:15:06.420 | in an introductory session with a counselee,

00:15:09.660 | regardless of the counseling issue, and then explain

00:15:12.740 | the importance of each issue?"

00:15:17.100 | As you think through the importance of the first session in counseling,

00:15:23.060 | let me for a moment ask you to place yourself in the shoes of a counselee.

00:15:31.500 | And let's just say that you are a believer who is struggling with maybe

00:15:38.660 | a particular sin issue that you've lost hope in overcoming.

00:15:42.660 | Maybe it is a season of suffering.

00:15:46.140 | Maybe you have experienced a personal loss.

00:15:49.660 | Maybe you just need help in making a decision, a major decision that

00:15:54.980 | has come up in your life that's going to affect the rest of your life.

00:15:58.780 | And place yourself in the position of a counselee

00:16:03.380 | who is coming to a counseling ministry of a church and asking for counseling.

00:16:11.020 | If you were a counselee who was coming to a biblical counselor--

00:16:16.460 | and let's just say in this example that you haven't met this biblical counselor

00:16:21.860 | before, you don't have a previous relationship,

00:16:24.780 | and you are coming to see an ACBC certified biblical counselor.

00:16:31.460 | If you were in the shoes of a counselee, what

00:16:34.380 | would you want to see in your biblical counselor that

00:16:38.420 | would help you to be open to the ministry of God's word?

00:16:44.500 | Now, if you place yourself in the position of a counselee coming

00:16:47.660 | for counseling, I think you would agree that in some ways

00:16:51.740 | you will be feeling quite vulnerable, perhaps.

00:16:55.140 | You're not in the strongest position in life.

00:16:58.580 | You're not walking through a season where you feel self-sufficient.

00:17:02.780 | You're coming and sharing with a counselor

00:17:06.260 | some very personal issues.

00:17:09.180 | And so you are being placed in a vulnerable position.

00:17:14.580 | What would you want to see happen in that first session

00:17:18.980 | with a counselor that you haven't met before that

00:17:22.460 | would motivate you to move forward in counseling ministry?

00:17:29.260 | If you think through that question and you place yourself

00:17:32.660 | in the position of a counselee, then I

00:17:36.820 | think you would agree that many of the things

00:17:40.500 | that we talked about as far as the key elements

00:17:43.500 | of biblical counseling would be very helpful for you

00:17:48.780 | to be motivated to make a second appointment and a third

00:17:54.300 | appointment, and then to follow through with the counseling

00:17:59.180 | ministry.

00:18:00.420 | I think that in the first session,

00:18:02.500 | if you were to meet with a counselor

00:18:04.900 | and you just found that this counselor was compassionate,

00:18:10.380 | this counselor really did care about you and the Lord,

00:18:13.660 | that there was a mercy and a kindness

00:18:16.460 | and a patience in the demeanor of this counselor,

00:18:20.580 | I think that would motivate you to make

00:18:23.260 | a second and a third appointment.

00:18:26.420 | I think if you found a counselor who understood God's Word, who

00:18:31.580 | knew the Scriptures thoroughly, who knew not only

00:18:34.940 | the contents of Scripture, but knew

00:18:36.700 | how to apply the Scriptures to life,

00:18:39.180 | I think that would motivate you to make another appointment

00:18:43.980 | and to continue to be ministered to by that counselor.

00:18:49.740 | I think if you were to find a counselor who

00:18:51.500 | was filled with hope, who not only had hope for himself

00:18:56.540 | or herself, but who had hope for you,

00:18:58.380 | I think if you were to find a counselor who said to you

00:19:00.780 | in the counseling session that, I have hope

00:19:03.060 | that God is going to do a wonderful work in your life

00:19:06.860 | for His glory, and then not only share that

00:19:10.060 | as some kind of pie-in-the-sky sentiment,

00:19:12.220 | but actually follow through with,

00:19:13.860 | here are some practical ways that we

00:19:17.620 | can pursue life change for the glory of God,

00:19:20.140 | I think you'd be encouraged to move forward

00:19:22.300 | in counseling ministry.

00:19:25.220 | And I think if you were to find a counselor who

00:19:27.940 | was disciplined in his or her listening skills, who really

00:19:33.540 | wanted to hear you out, who wasn't quick to make snap

00:19:37.300 | judgments, but really took the time

00:19:40.020 | to understand your situation, who asked good questions, who

00:19:43.700 | was focused, and who seemed to understand

00:19:47.020 | what you were saying, I think that would motivate

00:19:49.740 | you to continue with the counseling ministry.

00:19:53.660 | I think you get the point.

00:19:54.740 | If you were in the shoes of a counselee feeling

00:19:58.620 | vulnerable, and weak, and weighed down, and just maybe

00:20:02.700 | confused about the issues of life,

00:20:04.420 | and you were to sit with a biblical counselor who gave

00:20:08.820 | hope, and who was empathetic, and was filled with God's word,

00:20:12.620 | filled with the Spirit, I think that first session would

00:20:17.340 | motivate you to make a second and third appointment

00:20:21.620 | and to continue in the counseling ministry.

00:20:24.380 | And so that is really what this essay is about.

00:20:27.940 | And if it helps you to be motivated to write this essay,

00:20:32.180 | place yourself in the shoes of a counselee

00:20:35.260 | as you write this essay, and think through,

00:20:38.100 | how would a counselee feel if you

00:20:42.140 | were able to bring some of these key elements

00:20:44.860 | into a first session?

00:20:48.740 | And so that's just a basic way to think through this essay

00:20:53.700 | topic.

00:20:54.700 | Let me move to page 2 of your course handout.

00:21:01.460 | And I've just noted some helpful comments on first sessions

00:21:06.420 | there by some trusted biblical counselors.

00:21:08.980 | You have Jay Adams, who has made this observation,

00:21:15.100 | that the first session is particularly important.

00:21:18.700 | Basic trends are set.

00:21:20.100 | Initial attitudes and decisions, as well as relationships,

00:21:23.940 | are formed by both the counselor and his counselees.

00:21:30.700 | I found that to be true, both in my own counseling ministry

00:21:34.140 | and in the counselors that we have trained

00:21:37.900 | as part of the Counseling Center here at the church,

00:21:41.780 | that especially when that first session,

00:21:45.500 | the counselee is assured that you care about that person,

00:21:51.100 | that you really desire that person to grow in the Lord.

00:21:55.900 | And just that basic trust is built in a first session.

00:22:00.340 | It goes a long way into setting up future sessions.

00:22:04.740 | Ken Long has a good blog on conducting a good first session.

00:22:09.140 | And he writes, when starting with a new counselee,

00:22:12.580 | the first session is a most important one

00:22:14.900 | for both counselor and counselee.

00:22:18.780 | A wise counselor once said, when you start,

00:22:21.460 | have in mind how you want to finish.

00:22:24.300 | For us as biblical counselors, we

00:22:25.980 | desire that there will be God-like change

00:22:29.140 | in the heart of our counselee.

00:22:31.740 | This kind of change points to the glory of our God

00:22:34.980 | and is good for the counselee.

00:22:37.220 | From the first session, we should clearly

00:22:38.980 | have in mind the end goal that we desire for the counseling.

00:22:44.580 | So it has been said, if you aim at nothing,

00:22:47.700 | you will hit it every time.

00:22:50.540 | We should have an end goal for our first session.

00:22:53.660 | And then I like Ken Long's observations about planning.

00:22:59.180 | He writes, with this goal in mind,

00:23:01.620 | we should plan our first session and follow through

00:23:04.740 | with our plan.

00:23:06.540 | Another wise counselor regularly says,

00:23:08.740 | proper planning prevents problems.

00:23:12.500 | In like manner, proper planning promotes progress.

00:23:15.260 | And progress refers to growth in Christ-likeness.

00:23:19.860 | Since the first session can be emotionally

00:23:21.740 | charged for all present, having a proposed plan

00:23:25.060 | will help us stay on track with what we

00:23:27.060 | believe God wants us to cover.

00:23:29.820 | However, if it becomes evident that God

00:23:31.700 | has something different planned as the session unfolds,

00:23:36.380 | we can then flex to adjust our proposed plan

00:23:39.260 | in accordance with his plan.

00:23:42.260 | So we always encourage our counselors

00:23:44.700 | to have a plan for their sessions,

00:23:46.740 | to think through what is the best usage of that time,

00:23:51.420 | and then not to be enslaved to your plan.

00:23:54.340 | Allow your plan to serve you.

00:23:57.700 | You will need to deviate from your plan at times.

00:24:01.620 | And really, you should be deviating

00:24:04.060 | from your plan in many cases, as counseling

00:24:08.460 | is an ongoing dialogue.

00:24:10.380 | But it's good to have a plan.

00:24:12.220 | It's good to have a map through the forest, if you will.

00:24:18.140 | And if your counseling session takes you

00:24:19.900 | on a detour that goes into the forest,

00:24:23.380 | that you know your way back to the path that you have laid out

00:24:26.580 | and that you don't just keep marching further

00:24:29.020 | into the forest until you don't know where you are.

00:24:32.980 | And so having a plan for a counseling session

00:24:35.820 | is helpful, although we do encourage our counselors

00:24:39.580 | to be flexible with that plan.

00:24:44.900 | Robert Jones has some good comments

00:24:48.620 | on a first session in counseling.

00:24:50.860 | He says he has five goals in his first session on counseling.

00:24:57.100 | He says, number one, to warmly welcome,

00:24:59.220 | to initiate a warm, welcoming, and caring relationship.

00:25:04.460 | I want the person to know that I care about him,

00:25:07.100 | and I want him to experience that care

00:25:10.220 | throughout the session.

00:25:13.620 | By the way, I have noticed this in our counseling ministry

00:25:16.540 | that a few of our counselors who are ACBC certified

00:25:21.620 | also serve with the welcoming ministry of our church.

00:25:26.860 | And I don't think that's a requirement

00:25:29.940 | to become an ACBC certified biblical counselor,

00:25:36.020 | but I do see how the two ministries

00:25:39.380 | do complement one another because these counselors serve

00:25:44.220 | on the welcoming team of our church.

00:25:46.220 | They have learned how to talk with strangers.

00:25:50.380 | They know how to make small talk.

00:25:52.820 | They know how to break the ice with someone

00:25:56.060 | that they have just met.

00:25:57.420 | They know how to smile, even when the other person is not

00:26:02.500 | smiling back.

00:26:04.380 | They just have learned these skills in welcoming ministry,

00:26:07.260 | and it does translate into counseling ministry as well.

00:26:11.620 | And so if your church has a welcoming ministry,

00:26:14.740 | you might want to ask the leader of that ministry

00:26:18.580 | if you can do an internship or just get some experience

00:26:22.380 | in that because it does serve you well in counseling

00:26:25.420 | to be able to have that conversation with strangers,

00:26:29.140 | with someone that you haven't met before,

00:26:31.340 | and just to have the practical skills

00:26:33.820 | to minister to that person.

00:26:38.060 | Warm welcome.

00:26:39.460 | You know, you don't want to be a counselor who

00:26:41.380 | says kind of a caricature, but you walk

00:26:45.180 | into a counseling room, you sit down with the counselee,

00:26:49.980 | and you kind of say, OK, we're starting our session.

00:26:53.580 | What's the problem?

00:26:55.260 | Why don't you come in for counseling?

00:26:57.260 | And then here's the Bible solution to that problem,

00:27:01.540 | and come make another appointment to see me again.

00:27:05.660 | That's not really how we want to conduct our counseling

00:27:08.380 | ministry.

00:27:08.860 | So much of counseling ministry is just relational.

00:27:12.220 | It's expressing that warmth and that love for others,

00:27:17.260 | and giving a warm welcome is very helpful.

00:27:24.020 | Just even some practical things such as, you know,

00:27:29.500 | would you like a cup of coffee?

00:27:31.340 | Can I show you around the counseling offices

00:27:33.820 | so you feel familiar?

00:27:34.860 | We want you to feel at home here.

00:27:37.300 | We want you to feel like this is a place of ministry

00:27:41.100 | where Christ is going to meet you and minister to you.

00:27:44.460 | Just some practical things to think through

00:27:47.100 | in making someone feel welcome.

00:27:51.420 | Number two, he says, a goal is to know the person,

00:27:55.540 | to get to know the person by gathering information about him

00:27:59.020 | and to help him to begin interpreting his life

00:28:01.420 | biblically.

00:28:03.020 | I want the person to believe that I have listened to him

00:28:06.180 | well and that I can bring hope-filled perspectives

00:28:10.020 | on his life.

00:28:11.220 | We'll talk more about that in just a moment.

00:28:14.780 | Number three, to give hope in Jesus.

00:28:18.260 | Jones writes that his goal is to present Jesus Christ

00:28:22.340 | and the hope he offers through his word and spirit.

00:28:26.020 | I want the person to hear from the Bible

00:28:28.780 | that Jesus offers hope.

00:28:31.940 | So as Adams has emphasized in his writings

00:28:35.460 | on biblical counseling, the first session

00:28:38.180 | is really a time where you want to give hope.

00:28:42.060 | You want to make sure that the counselee understands

00:28:45.860 | that you have hope for this person.

00:28:48.580 | You have hope for this situation.

00:28:51.300 | You believe that God can do a good work.

00:28:54.420 | You believe that, especially if you are sure

00:28:56.660 | that this counselee is a believer in Christ,

00:28:59.700 | that you have the resources of God's word.

00:29:01.780 | You have the resources of the Holy Spirit.

00:29:04.580 | You have all the promises of God that you

00:29:06.500 | can bring to bear upon this situation in life.

00:29:11.540 | And so you want to be filled with hope

00:29:13.740 | and communicate that hope to the counselee.

00:29:18.900 | Jones says that his fourth goal is

00:29:21.540 | to present a plan to propose a tentative basic counseling

00:29:26.100 | agenda and explain the counseling process.

00:29:29.700 | I want the person to be confident

00:29:31.580 | that I can wisely lead him out of his present confusion

00:29:35.740 | to a clearer sense of his life and to understand

00:29:39.780 | that the process will not be eerie or frightening.

00:29:44.220 | And then number five, he says that his goal

00:29:47.780 | in the first session is to encourage commitment,

00:29:51.220 | to invite the person and secure his commitment to counseling,

00:29:55.180 | including his desire to complete assignments

00:29:58.460 | and to schedule the next appointment.

00:30:00.460 | I want the person to want to meet again

00:30:03.460 | and to have a desire to work on some homework that

00:30:06.180 | will help him.

00:30:09.060 | And so that's a seasoned biblical counselor

00:30:11.620 | in just the way that he thinks through the first session.

00:30:15.060 | You don't need to incorporate all of that

00:30:18.380 | in right away in your first sessions in counseling

00:30:22.180 | ministry, but just it's helpful to be encouraged

00:30:25.300 | by those who have done this ministry for years

00:30:28.140 | and to learn from them of how they think through the first

00:30:32.300 | counseling session.

00:30:35.460 | I kind of reduce that to two things

00:30:38.780 | that I ask our counselors to evaluate

00:30:41.140 | in the first year of counseling.

00:30:44.060 | And they are very simple.

00:30:45.580 | My criteria are much more simplified

00:30:47.860 | than seasoned biblical counselors

00:30:50.820 | like Dr. Robert Jones.

00:30:52.780 | But I do ask our counselors to evaluate two things

00:30:55.300 | after each counseling session.

00:30:57.220 | Number one, did you love this person

00:30:59.940 | to the best of your ability?

00:31:02.700 | Did you have a heart that this person grow in Christ?

00:31:07.420 | Did you communicate that love in Christ for this person

00:31:13.700 | to the best of your ability?

00:31:15.780 | And then number two, I ask our counselors to evaluate,

00:31:18.580 | did you open and communicate the truth of scripture?

00:31:23.100 | And I know that's really simple, but I

00:31:26.140 | think that's 80%, 90% of the ballgame

00:31:29.060 | that if you loved this person to the best of your ability,

00:31:32.660 | if you opened and communicated the truth of scripture,

00:31:36.500 | then to me, at least as a pastor who's overseeing your ministry,

00:31:41.980 | that is a successful counseling session.

00:31:44.540 | You can always do better.

00:31:46.180 | You can always improve upon that.

00:31:48.100 | But those two basic building blocks need to be in place.

00:31:52.460 | Did you love this person?

00:31:54.700 | And did you open the Bible?

00:31:58.060 | And we have just found that people

00:31:59.660 | respond to those two basic building blocks

00:32:04.900 | of biblical counseling.

00:32:06.420 | If a counselee is a believer, they

00:32:08.820 | do respond to genuine Christian love.

00:32:11.540 | That's just universal, that a believer

00:32:14.500 | is going to respond to other Christians who

00:32:17.620 | love him in the Lord and who want to see this person grow.

00:32:22.580 | And then a believer will always respond

00:32:25.420 | to the ministry of God's word, maybe not immediately

00:32:28.420 | in terms of immediate repentance and obedience,

00:32:31.540 | but there will always be, deep down in a believer's heart,

00:32:35.140 | the desire to hear God's word and to grow in God's word.

00:32:40.100 | And so those two basic building blocks are very important.

00:32:44.820 | And we find that counselees are motivated to come back

00:32:49.060 | if we love them well and if we open God's word.

00:32:55.140 | So those are just some perspectives

00:32:56.820 | from some good authors on the importance of this first

00:33:01.220 | counseling session.

00:33:04.700 | Now, let me move to page 3 of your course notes

00:33:07.660 | and just talk through how should you

00:33:11.460 | think through the contents of this essay.

00:33:15.580 | As I mentioned at the outset, I believe

00:33:19.500 | that the strategy for writing this essay

00:33:22.900 | is to go back to the material we covered in year 1,

00:33:27.180 | the six key elements of biblical counseling,

00:33:31.060 | and then to summarize three or four of these key elements

00:33:36.420 | and show how you would practically

00:33:40.300 | apply those key elements in a first counseling session.

00:33:44.860 | I think that's each of the blog posts

00:33:47.020 | that I have recommended to you.

00:33:49.540 | That's basically their approach.

00:33:51.500 | They're going back to the key elements of biblical counseling,

00:33:54.620 | and then they are applying it to the first session.

00:33:59.020 | And I would encourage you to think along these lines.

00:34:03.340 | The key elements of biblical counseling

00:34:05.820 | were the practical skills that we discussed in some detail

00:34:11.540 | in year 1 training.

00:34:13.540 | I'll do a brief review here just to bring

00:34:17.020 | this to freshen your memory.

00:34:19.860 | They are in no particular order.

00:34:21.380 | Involvement, number one, you'll remember this

00:34:23.580 | as the first I of biblical counseling, which

00:34:26.780 | is the skill set or the practice of demonstrating

00:34:32.820 | Christ-like compassion.

00:34:35.260 | This is really the relational aspect of counseling ministry.

00:34:40.940 | Compassion has been called your pain in my heart.

00:34:45.180 | Compassion is disarming.

00:34:48.300 | The qualities of mercy and kindness

00:34:50.980 | really are rare in this world.

00:34:53.380 | And so when you do find a counselor who

00:34:55.860 | exhibits these characteristics, it is a wonderful thing,

00:35:00.380 | and it does help to build that relationship and trust.

00:35:05.500 | The second key element we looked at

00:35:07.100 | was inventory, which is the ministry

00:35:09.660 | of active, intentional listening.

00:35:12.460 | So as to minister to a person with knowledge

00:35:14.940 | and understanding, we discussed that good inventory requires

00:35:19.620 | good listening skills.

00:35:22.500 | It's asking good questions.

00:35:24.940 | It is seeking to understand.

00:35:27.540 | It is learning to conduct a conversation where

00:35:32.020 | you are moving from the external circumstances

00:35:35.620 | that a counselee is facing to the internal issues

00:35:39.860 | of the heart and just taking the time to focus on the counselee

00:35:46.260 | and understanding the situation that this person is in.

00:35:52.420 | The third key element is interpretation,

00:35:55.100 | which is discerning the problems biblically

00:35:57.900 | so that a plan for life change can be produced.

00:36:01.340 | This involves asking questions such as,

00:36:04.260 | is this person a believer or unbeliever?

00:36:07.660 | Is this person a mature believer or an immature believer?

00:36:13.780 | How much of the problem is sin, and how much of it

00:36:16.420 | is suffering?

00:36:17.820 | What are the heart issues that need to be addressed?

00:36:21.540 | So this is the issue of applying God's word

00:36:25.700 | to the counselee's situation.

00:36:29.060 | Number four is inspiration, imparting biblical hope

00:36:31.900 | so that the counselee is motivated to pursue change.

00:36:37.300 | Counselees are motivated to continue with counseling

00:36:40.700 | when they have hope for themselves.

00:36:43.140 | And in order to impart that hope,

00:36:45.260 | we need to have hope for them as well.

00:36:50.620 | The sixth key element was instruction,

00:36:53.340 | communicating the truths of God's word,

00:36:55.300 | and then dialoguing through personal application.

00:36:59.060 | 2 Timothy 3.16 says, "All scripture

00:37:01.740 | is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching,

00:37:04.380 | for proof, for correction, and for training in righteousness

00:37:08.140 | that the man of God may be complete, equipped

00:37:11.300 | for every good work."

00:37:14.500 | We believe that the scripture is directive.

00:37:17.860 | The scripture encourages, exhorts, rebukes, corrects,

00:37:23.700 | admonishes.

00:37:26.180 | In other words, our counseling sessions

00:37:28.740 | should not merely be a time for the counselee

00:37:31.620 | to vent about life's problems.

00:37:34.260 | But the word of God, at some point, needs to be opened.

00:37:38.100 | And the truth of scripture needs to be

00:37:40.060 | brought to bear upon the situation

00:37:43.900 | that the counselee is facing.

00:37:46.900 | And so that is the key element of instruction.

00:37:50.700 | And then number six, the key element of implementation.

00:37:56.620 | This is the method of assigning good homework

00:37:59.900 | so that the counselee applies the truth of God's word

00:38:03.620 | in between the counseling sessions.

00:38:06.300 | We emphasize that in year one, that the majority of life

00:38:10.620 | change does not take place in the counseling session,

00:38:14.540 | but actually in the space between counseling sessions.

00:38:18.140 | That is when the majority of life change

00:38:21.620 | will take place in the life of your counselee.

00:38:24.780 | And so assigning good homework is a very necessary skill set.

00:38:30.460 | Homework that gets the counselee into the word of God

00:38:34.660 | on a daily basis.

00:38:35.820 | Homework that exposes the counselee

00:38:39.060 | to other avenues of the ministry of God's word,

00:38:43.060 | such as sermons, or lectures, or even good praise songs,

00:38:47.700 | or hymns, or other means of grace in the local church.

00:38:53.260 | We assign as homework, very specifically,

00:38:55.820 | even things like church attendance,

00:38:58.580 | that we want you to be in Sunday morning worship

00:39:01.740 | service each and every Sunday.

00:39:03.580 | We want you to be in a small group

00:39:05.300 | so that you can build relationships

00:39:07.180 | and so that others can pray for you.

00:39:09.580 | We want you to be reading God's word every day.

00:39:13.140 | If you're not sure of the counselee's spiritual situation

00:39:17.500 | or their spiritual status before the Lord,

00:39:19.820 | you can assign as homework a written salvation testimony

00:39:25.700 | to be brought to the second session

00:39:27.420 | so that you can evaluate their salvation testimony.

00:39:32.020 | It's such a wonderful skill set to be

00:39:36.180 | able to assign good homework.

00:39:37.820 | It's a skill set I am admittedly weak in

00:39:40.980 | and trying to grow in.

00:39:42.300 | My wife happens to be much more skilled in assigning

00:39:45.420 | good homework than I am.

00:39:47.940 | But it is a very good skill set that

00:39:50.380 | will help your counselee to grow in between the counseling

00:39:56.300 | sessions.

00:39:58.500 | And so these were the six key elements

00:40:00.500 | of biblical counseling.

00:40:01.500 | This should be the review from year one.

00:40:04.020 | We call them the key elements because we

00:40:07.460 | would ask the question, what would your counseling ministry

00:40:11.260 | be like if one of these six key elements were missing?

00:40:17.140 | And you could have great instruction

00:40:20.900 | and be filled with God's word.

00:40:23.100 | But what if you had zero involvement?

00:40:26.020 | You just were a counselor who didn't care about people.

00:40:29.900 | Would you be a counselor that people want to see?

00:40:34.940 | Or you could look at key element number two.

00:40:37.100 | What if you cared about people and you knew God's word,

00:40:41.380 | but you never took time to really listen to them?

00:40:45.780 | The whole entire counseling session

00:40:47.700 | was you talking about things that possibly didn't even

00:40:51.940 | relate to what the counselee is going through.

00:40:55.340 | Would that counselee want to come see you again?

00:41:00.220 | Or what if number four, you just had no hope for people

00:41:04.500 | and you knew the Bible and you knew how to listen,

00:41:08.660 | but at the end of listening to a counselee's problems,

00:41:12.380 | you just were so discouraged.

00:41:14.140 | And at the end of a counseling session,

00:41:15.780 | you were just saying, yeah, this is hopeless.

00:41:17.980 | I don't see any hope for this situation.

00:41:20.780 | Would a counselee want to come see you again?

00:41:25.460 | So we call them the key elements because if one

00:41:29.140 | of the key elements are missing, then really

00:41:32.460 | your counseling ministry is going to be deficient.

00:41:37.740 | Now, what I want you to do for the purposes of this essay

00:41:41.340 | is to think through the key elements.

00:41:44.060 | And I'll highlight four of them.

00:41:47.340 | But I would like you to think through the key elements

00:41:51.100 | and apply them to a first counseling session.

00:41:56.340 | I'm going to encourage you to look at four, at least four,

00:42:00.980 | or at least three, but most likely four

00:42:03.860 | of the six key elements would be a good essay.

00:42:07.340 | And then talk through what would it

00:42:10.540 | look like for you personally.

00:42:13.500 | So we would like you to, in some sense, all of us

00:42:18.020 | are going to write similar things on this first essay.

00:42:20.860 | We're going to have similar contents because we're not

00:42:23.100 | really deviating from the six key elements.

00:42:25.580 | Even the three blogs that I gave to you,

00:42:27.500 | they're essentially summarizing the key elements

00:42:30.540 | of biblical counseling.

00:42:32.220 | And so in some sense, we're going

00:42:34.340 | to have a lot in common in this first counseling exam.

00:42:38.980 | But in another sense, each of your essays

00:42:41.140 | should be completely different in terms of we

00:42:45.860 | want you to think through how you personally

00:42:48.300 | would apply these key elements in a first session.

00:42:53.420 | So thinking through, for example,

00:42:56.620 | an approach to writing this essay

00:42:58.740 | would be to write a paragraph on involvement,

00:43:01.700 | that in a first session, I would want

00:43:04.260 | to make sure that I am demonstrating

00:43:07.060 | Christ-like compassion.

00:43:10.100 | But then going from that principle

00:43:12.340 | to here's how or some ways, practically,

00:43:15.740 | that I as a counselor would seek to express compassion

00:43:22.420 | and mercy to my counselee.

00:43:25.300 | And just thinking that through and writing a paragraph

00:43:27.500 | about that, that would be a good paragraph.

00:43:29.780 | And if you take four of these key elements

00:43:31.620 | and follow the same approach, you

00:43:33.500 | would have a basic approach to a good essay.

00:43:36.900 | And each of your essays should be unique in the sense

00:43:40.140 | that each of you are going to think

00:43:41.620 | through that in a little bit of a different fashion,

00:43:44.860 | although the principles generally will be the same.

00:43:50.140 | And so each of your essays should have something in common.

00:43:54.260 | But also, each of your essays should be distinct and unique.

00:44:00.740 | So the four that I would suggest that you think through

00:44:03.340 | in terms of a first counseling session

00:44:06.140 | would be, number one, involvement.

00:44:11.220 | So what would you do in a first session that

00:44:14.860 | would demonstrate Christ-like compassion and warmth?

00:44:20.380 | Now, remember, the question is, what

00:44:22.540 | should be covered in an introductory session

00:44:25.140 | regardless of the counseling issue?

00:44:27.460 | So no matter what the counseling issue is,

00:44:30.100 | whether it is a marital issue or whether it's

00:44:32.660 | an issue of anxiety or whether this person is

00:44:35.940 | facing a difficult decision, how would you show compassion

00:44:41.740 | in a first counseling meeting?

00:44:45.620 | The second issue I would encourage you to think

00:44:47.580 | through is inventory.

00:44:50.340 | How would you do good inventory in a first session?

00:44:54.620 | What questions would you ask?

00:44:56.660 | How would you express good listening

00:44:58.780 | skills in that first meeting?

00:45:01.820 | Just thinking that through in terms of a first session.

00:45:07.900 | A third element would be instruction.

00:45:11.500 | You want to open God's word.

00:45:13.380 | You want to establish in the first session

00:45:16.900 | that the counseling sessions will be focused on God's word.

00:45:21.820 | Talking to our counselors, they have given me this feedback

00:45:26.660 | that sometimes turning to God's word is really just--

00:45:31.900 | it's awkward.

00:45:33.100 | There's really no easy way to do it.

00:45:35.260 | But at some point in the counseling session,

00:45:37.980 | you need to open God's word.

00:45:39.300 | You need to just say, it's time now to open God's word together

00:45:42.340 | and allow God to speak into the situation.

00:45:45.580 | And thinking through instruction in terms of a first session.

00:45:54.420 | I would encourage you to possibly combine

00:45:58.380 | the idea of instruction with the key element of inspiration.

00:46:03.940 | In a first session, typically, the instruction

00:46:07.540 | that I'm trying to give, the passage

00:46:09.740 | that I'm turning to in a first session

00:46:11.740 | is a passage that will communicate biblical hope.

00:46:15.620 | So although there are two different key elements,

00:46:18.500 | they can be combined in some way as you

00:46:22.060 | think through a first session.

00:46:24.940 | Usually, I am turning to in a first session

00:46:28.180 | a great promise of God.

00:46:30.060 | I'm turning to some kind of scripture

00:46:33.180 | that will give the counselee hope that God

00:46:36.660 | is with them in this situation and that God

00:46:39.060 | is going to grow them.

00:46:40.820 | And usually in a first session, I'm

00:46:42.580 | not going to a passage that is heavily rebuking or heavily

00:46:48.780 | corrective.

00:46:49.860 | I'm going to a passage that shows

00:46:53.740 | that God is present to bless in this believer's life.

00:46:59.780 | And then a fourth element I would

00:47:02.660 | ask you to think through in terms of a first session

00:47:06.220 | will be implementation.

00:47:07.620 | What kind of homework assignments

00:47:09.780 | would you want to give in a first session?

00:47:13.780 | Now, going back to the three blogs that I mentioned,

00:47:19.020 | I'd encourage you to read those blogs

00:47:21.140 | as I've given them to you as resource.

00:47:23.860 | Ken Long, Michael Hines, and Paul Toczkas

00:47:27.380 | read their blogs as they talk through their first sessions.

00:47:32.860 | And then just note that generally,

00:47:35.380 | although each of the blogs say it a little bit differently,

00:47:39.700 | they're each summarizing basically these four key

00:47:44.740 | elements in a different way.

00:47:47.100 | So they're using different language,

00:47:49.540 | like Ken Long uses the language of get hope, gather data,

00:47:54.500 | give help, give projects for growth.

00:47:57.940 | So he summarizes it under four Gs.

00:48:00.860 | But essentially, the concepts, what he's doing

00:48:03.700 | is he's taking these four key elements

00:48:05.780 | and he's packaging them in a different way.

00:48:09.300 | Michael Hines has the language of ask questions, give hope,

00:48:14.740 | and then assign homework.

00:48:17.140 | Again, it's essentially the same material,

00:48:20.180 | but just stated in a different way.

00:48:22.620 | And then Paul Toczkas has the language of listen much,

00:48:26.820 | speak little, ask questions, apply appropriate questions,

00:48:32.340 | give biblical hope through homework,

00:48:34.740 | and then take them to the throne of grace in prayer.

00:48:38.900 | Again, he's stating it in a very unique way,

00:48:43.340 | as is reflective of his own personal counseling ministry.

00:48:47.940 | But essentially, it's the same basic material,

00:48:51.820 | taking the four key elements here

00:48:54.500 | and applying them to a first session.

00:48:56.580 | So we essentially want you to do something along that lines

00:49:01.140 | and taking these elements and then

00:49:04.060 | showing how you would apply them to a first session

00:49:08.060 | with a counselee.

00:49:11.420 | So with that said, and the remaining pages

00:49:14.060 | of your handout, pages three to six,

00:49:17.980 | I have basically a summary of those four key elements--

00:49:22.300 | involvement, inventory, instruction, implementation.

00:49:25.820 | I'm not going to take the time to go

00:49:27.340 | through all of that material tonight with the time remaining.

00:49:31.020 | But I do want to just ask you to read that through.

00:49:34.740 | Some of that will be a review from year one.

00:49:38.140 | But then on each page, I also have some thoughts

00:49:41.300 | on how possibly that might apply to a first session.

00:49:45.380 | And please think that through on your own.

00:49:47.180 | Come up with your own personal applications.

00:49:49.940 | But for example, at the bottom of page three,

00:49:54.220 | I've suggested some practical ways

00:49:56.500 | to establish involvement in a first session.

00:50:00.300 | And just to encourage you along these lines,

00:50:04.180 | as I was challenged this week in studying through this,

00:50:07.700 | just to improve upon my own preparation in counseling.

00:50:11.700 | But I would encourage you that one

00:50:13.620 | of the ways to show involvement, respect,

00:50:18.580 | to establish a relationship with a counselee

00:50:22.340 | is really relates to being prepared for the first session.

00:50:28.580 | And I'm just going to be real practical here.

00:50:30.820 | I was talking to one of our counselors this week.

00:50:33.380 | And she was this dear sister in Christ.

00:50:40.100 | She just walks with the Lord.

00:50:41.620 | I mean, she has a living, ongoing relationship with Christ.

00:50:45.740 | She spends vibrant time in prayer

00:50:50.420 | and in the study of God's word, just personally for herself

00:50:52.940 | each and every morning.

00:50:53.900 | And she was just expressing to me

00:50:56.100 | that it's amazing how so much of just what she's

00:50:59.940 | going through in her personal life,

00:51:01.780 | in her own walk with the Lord, and what

00:51:03.700 | she's doing in her own personal devotions

00:51:06.260 | just naturally overflows and spills

00:51:09.540 | into the counseling session.

00:51:12.060 | And I just rejoice to hear that, because it

00:51:15.020 | does point to the place of personal preparation.

00:51:19.420 | Just preparing your own heart to walk,

00:51:23.500 | as you were walking with Christ, just

00:51:25.340 | repenting of sin in your own life,

00:51:27.740 | seeking the Lord in your own life,

00:51:29.540 | being encouraged in your own spirit and in your own soul,

00:51:33.620 | feeding your own soul with the word of God,

00:51:37.140 | making sure that you are in a spiritually healthy place.

00:51:42.220 | That is one of the best ways to show respect

00:51:46.180 | for your counselee.

00:51:47.300 | Because if you bring that type of walk with the Lord

00:51:51.020 | into a counseling meeting, then it

00:51:54.020 | doesn't matter what the counseling issue is.

00:51:56.660 | That is going to communicate something to the counselee,

00:52:00.820 | where the counselee will be encouraged to trust you.

00:52:05.540 | And then preparing for the counselee.

00:52:09.660 | This particular counselor always asked

00:52:11.660 | me to get the consent to counsel form and the PDI form

00:52:16.900 | to her well ahead of time, because she

00:52:18.620 | wants to read and study and reflect and reflect

00:52:22.660 | upon the counseling issue and pray for the counselee

00:52:25.900 | before the meeting and just to prepare for the counselee.

00:52:30.660 | I think that's a great way just to show respect for that time

00:52:34.540 | and to show respect for the counselee.

00:52:37.860 | And then practical preparation.

00:52:40.740 | I encourage our counselors just arriving early,

00:52:44.140 | 30 minutes before your appointment,

00:52:45.820 | so you have time to set up the room.

00:52:47.620 | And even real practical things, like setting

00:52:51.500 | the right temperature for the room

00:52:53.140 | is very helpful when you're going through an hour

00:52:56.860 | to 90 minutes of a counseling meeting

00:52:59.380 | and the room gets to be very stuffy or hot.

00:53:03.700 | It's not conducive to a good counseling session.

00:53:07.940 | And so just having the tissues in the right place

00:53:10.860 | and a Bible handy and pens and resources

00:53:14.700 | and just arriving with enough time

00:53:17.500 | so that you're able to greet the counselee

00:53:19.300 | without a hurried spirit.

00:53:21.740 | Those are just some practical ways

00:53:23.340 | to think through showing respect in a first session.

00:53:29.100 | I want to highlight also on just real practically,

00:53:33.020 | one way to be welcoming under the heading of involvement

00:53:36.620 | is to learn small talk with the counselee.

00:53:40.940 | I have had counselors in phase 3 of our training,

00:53:44.540 | and you do record, I think, five of your sessions for audio

00:53:51.060 | and for your supervisor to review.

00:53:54.220 | And I have reviewed some of these sessions

00:53:56.540 | and talked with our counselors about just small talk

00:54:03.340 | can be a good means of showing respect for your counselee.

00:54:08.380 | It's a little bit jarring if your first statement

00:54:13.820 | as you sit down in a counseling meeting is to say,

00:54:17.260 | well, tell me about your problems.

00:54:20.380 | All of us would feel a little bit like we're jumping

00:54:24.780 | right into something that maybe we're not prepared for,

00:54:27.740 | especially if we have not met this counselor before.

00:54:30.980 | And so just learning the skill of small talk,

00:54:36.820 | where are you from?

00:54:38.460 | Oh, you're from New York.

00:54:40.460 | Tell me about New York.

00:54:41.260 | Do you like the weather there?

00:54:42.820 | And so you're a Knicks fan, and just so forth and so on.

00:54:47.980 | You don't want to spend 30 minutes on small talk.

00:54:50.780 | The counselee has come to discuss the issues of life.

00:54:55.820 | But a good five minutes in small talk

00:54:58.780 | is helpful just in making the counselee comfortable

00:55:02.900 | and then leading that conversation into a segue.

00:55:07.140 | So finding a good break in the conversation

00:55:10.260 | and then saying, Joe or John or whoever you're meeting with,

00:55:16.580 | I'm so glad you're here.

00:55:18.420 | We're so thankful for our time together.

00:55:21.180 | We're going to seek God's word together.

00:55:23.660 | And then what brings you in for counseling?

00:55:26.900 | How can we be of help to you?

00:55:28.740 | And then leading the conversation in that way,

00:55:30.820 | learning to do a good segue, is very helpful.

00:55:36.940 | So just thinking through just practically

00:55:39.700 | how to show involvement.

00:55:41.700 | On page four, you have the discipline of inventory.

00:55:47.780 | You can work through some of that.

00:55:49.660 | A lot of that's going to be a review from year one.

00:55:53.180 | But just on a practical level, learning

00:55:58.860 | to ask open-ended questions is a really good skill

00:56:02.460 | in a first session.

00:56:04.180 | We talked a little bit about this in year one,

00:56:06.140 | that you can ask the question, do you want to get married?

00:56:11.580 | And the counselee says, yes.

00:56:15.260 | And that's not conducive to allowing the conversation

00:56:21.660 | to flow.

00:56:23.340 | That's a closed-ended question.

00:56:24.900 | An open-ended question would be, what

00:56:27.780 | do you think about marriage?

00:56:29.900 | What do you think are the blessings of marriage?

00:56:33.060 | What are your greatest fears about marriage?

00:56:36.820 | Those are open-ended questions that

00:56:38.300 | help the conversation to flow.

00:56:40.620 | And so thinking through inventory with a first session.

00:56:45.980 | If you move to page five quickly,

00:56:47.940 | giving appropriate instruction.

00:56:49.780 | I've noted there that this point can

00:56:51.860 | be combined with the discipline of inspiration

00:56:55.540 | or imparting hope, having an arsenal of scriptures

00:57:02.900 | that really impart hope.

00:57:04.980 | You ought to have a go-to five to 10 scripture passages that

00:57:11.380 | impart hope to the counselee.

00:57:13.220 | If you're a member here at Kindred Church,

00:57:16.900 | any of the sermons that Pastor Philip

00:57:18.980 | has preached over the last five weeks

00:57:21.460 | are passages that you should have as your go-to passages.

00:57:25.180 | Hebrews 13, 5 to 6, the Lord is our helper.

00:57:29.300 | Romans 8, verse 28, that all things

00:57:31.540 | work together for good to those who love God,

00:57:34.860 | and so forth and so on.

00:57:36.180 | Those are passages that communicate hope

00:57:38.420 | to the counselee.

00:57:39.500 | And it's one thing to hear it preached.

00:57:41.140 | It's another thing to minister that to a counselee

00:57:44.220 | in such a way where you're saying that the Lord is

00:57:48.580 | your helper, Joe.

00:57:51.260 | Joe, God has promised never to leave you or forsake you

00:57:55.300 | in this trial.

00:57:56.100 | There's a powerful ministry there

00:57:59.820 | when those truths are communicated one-on-one

00:58:02.860 | from a counselor to a counselee.

00:58:07.180 | And then on the last page, assigning good homework,

00:58:13.260 | let me just--

00:58:14.300 | and I'll draw our thoughts to a close by saying this.

00:58:18.260 | Really, practically, in our counseling ministry,

00:58:20.980 | we have found that there are three things that

00:58:28.860 | are just so basic.

00:58:30.180 | They apply to every counseling situation.

00:58:32.580 | You don't even need to get into all

00:58:34.380 | of the biblical counseling resources

00:58:36.580 | and all the specific issues.

00:58:38.740 | But we have found that our counselees grow

00:58:43.580 | when they do three things.

00:58:45.020 | And this is not going to be any surprise.

00:58:48.580 | I'm not going to sell anything new here.

00:58:51.020 | But three things is, number one, if they read the Bible every day,

00:58:57.340 | then they will grow.

00:58:59.660 | Number two, if they attend Sunday morning worship

00:59:04.780 | every Sunday and hear the preached word,

00:59:08.060 | then they will grow.

00:59:09.940 | And then number three, if they are

00:59:12.340 | in some type of small group fellowship

00:59:14.900 | where they're building relationships

00:59:16.780 | and they're having people pray for them,

00:59:19.340 | and they're not anonymous, but they are known

00:59:22.820 | and they have relationships in the local church,

00:59:25.860 | then they will grow.

00:59:26.700 | Those three things, reading the Bible every day,

00:59:30.300 | attending Sunday morning worship every Sunday,

00:59:32.700 | and then being part of some type of small group fellowship

00:59:36.100 | where they have relationships in the local church, those three

00:59:38.620 | things, we have found they just work.

00:59:43.300 | Believers grow when they do those three things.

00:59:45.940 | And we also found that most of our counselees

00:59:48.420 | are not regularly doing those three things.

00:59:53.260 | That usually they're reading the Bible once or twice a week,

00:59:58.060 | maybe, or just sporadically, but they're not

01:00:01.580 | engaged in daily Bible reading.

01:00:04.260 | They're not coming to church every Sunday.

01:00:06.500 | They might come two times a month,

01:00:09.580 | or they might sporadically check in,

01:00:12.380 | but they're not regularly sitting in Sunday morning

01:00:16.340 | worship service each and every Sunday.

01:00:18.100 | And if it's in a marital situation,

01:00:19.900 | then they're not sitting with their spouse in the worship

01:00:22.620 | service.

01:00:23.940 | And that's key.

01:00:24.820 | There's something that happens, many beneficial effects

01:00:29.340 | that happen in a marriage when husband and wife sit

01:00:33.180 | in worship service together each and every Sunday.

01:00:37.340 | And then thirdly, generally, they're

01:00:39.980 | anonymous in the local church.

01:00:41.420 | They don't really have relationships.

01:00:43.340 | People don't know them.

01:00:44.380 | They don't know people.

01:00:45.420 | No one's praying for them.

01:00:46.940 | They're not praying for anyone.

01:00:48.700 | They may attend and slip in and out,

01:00:50.580 | but they don't have real relationships

01:00:52.180 | in the local church.

01:00:53.060 | And so we just have started assigning as homework,

01:00:56.420 | as an initial meeting, we've just

01:01:01.380 | started assigning those three things.

01:01:03.220 | And I've worked with our counselors

01:01:04.700 | to make sure before you get into all the specifics about panic

01:01:09.300 | attacks or anger issues or conflict resolution,

01:01:12.820 | there is a place to get very specific with those things.

01:01:15.780 | But before you get in too deep, make

01:01:18.540 | sure those three basic things are in place

01:01:20.700 | in your counselee's life.

01:01:21.900 | Make sure they're reading the Bible every day.

01:01:23.780 | Doesn't matter.

01:01:25.380 | It doesn't have to be only the passages dealing

01:01:28.180 | with their counseling issue.

01:01:29.340 | It could really just be reading through the Bible,

01:01:31.660 | reading a chapter a day in scripture,

01:01:34.540 | but making sure it's every day.

01:01:36.060 | Make sure that they're going to church every Sunday

01:01:38.660 | and hearing the preached word, and make sure

01:01:40.460 | that they have relationships in the local church.

01:01:42.580 | And we found that when we assign those three things as homework,

01:01:46.940 | and the beauty of it is, you can assign them as homework.

01:01:50.660 | You say, here's your homework.

01:01:53.380 | We want you to read the Bible every day,

01:01:55.140 | go to church on Sunday, and join a small group.

01:01:57.420 | And then you can check with them in the second and third meeting

01:02:00.140 | to see if they follow through.

01:02:01.860 | When believers do those three things,

01:02:04.420 | they tend to get healthier just in general.

01:02:08.700 | They just tend to grow, because those

01:02:11.460 | are the means of grace God has put in His word.

01:02:13.460 | There's no secret magic sauce to it.

01:02:16.740 | People grow when they're in God's word,

01:02:19.220 | when they're worshiping on Sundays,

01:02:20.620 | and when they have relationships in the local church.

01:02:24.340 | When they grow generally, then it

01:02:28.140 | seems to be that their specific counseling issue also

01:02:32.500 | gets addressed in some way.

01:02:35.020 | Now, you will need to get more specific,

01:02:37.220 | but if they're generally getting more healthy,

01:02:41.100 | then their counseling issue also tends to get

01:02:43.940 | addressed in a general fashion.

01:02:46.300 | And then you have the platform and the foundation

01:02:48.380 | to go more specific.

01:02:50.180 | So just think through that in terms of homework.

01:02:53.580 | I've encouraged our counselors, assign those things

01:02:56.300 | as homework.

01:02:57.020 | You can tell them, your homework is to join this small group.

01:03:00.940 | You can even get specific as if a counselee really

01:03:05.940 | is kind of reluctant to get into fellowship,

01:03:09.420 | that I want you to get into a small group,

01:03:11.340 | and then I want you, when the small group ends,

01:03:14.620 | to talk to three people during the snack time,

01:03:19.660 | learn their names, and ask them their prayer requests.

01:03:22.060 | I mean, you can get that specific with homework.

01:03:25.260 | Or even just, I want you to attend on Sunday morning

01:03:27.980 | worship.

01:03:29.300 | I want you, after service, to talk to one person that you

01:03:32.780 | know and one person that you don't know,

01:03:34.860 | just to get them into fellowship.

01:03:36.580 | Because oftentimes, they're isolated.

01:03:39.380 | You can assign those things as homework,

01:03:41.580 | and those are the basic building blocks that help people grow.

01:03:46.460 | And so think through those four key elements,

01:03:51.900 | apply them to a first session.

01:03:54.460 | And I trust that you'll write a great essay,

01:03:56.300 | and it'll be a helpful resource for you in the years to come.

01:04:01.460 | Well, what I'm going to do at this point,

01:04:03.420 | I'm going to close in prayer.

01:04:05.420 | But I'm going to hang out for 10 minutes

01:04:10.380 | after class for new students, for those of you

01:04:13.820 | who are joining in year two.

01:04:15.420 | And this is your first session that

01:04:18.180 | is dealing with phase two of ACBC training.

01:04:21.060 | And if you have any questions about how to write an essay

01:04:25.380 | or any questions about the essay writing process,

01:04:28.980 | I'd be happy to hang out for 10 minutes or so,

01:04:31.900 | or as long as you have questions and if I could be helpful.

01:04:35.780 | I'd love to just be able to orient you to the essay writing

01:04:39.220 | process itself.

01:04:40.980 | If you're a continuing student, you can be excused.

01:04:43.540 | I mean, you're welcome to hang out,

01:04:45.260 | but I'll probably be repeating some material

01:04:47.460 | that you've already heard.

01:04:48.900 | But if you're a new student and this is the first time

01:04:51.500 | that you're writing an essay, I'd

01:04:53.820 | encourage you to stay with me after I close in prayer.

01:04:57.780 | I'll mention a few things in the syllabus

01:04:59.980 | and then open it up for questions

01:05:01.940 | if you have questions about writing the essays.

01:05:04.100 | But Lord bless you.

01:05:04.900 | We pray that this material will serve you well

01:05:07.500 | and that you will have great first sessions that

01:05:10.260 | lead to future sessions that will be used for God's glory.

01:05:14.620 | So let me pray for us and we'll close our official teaching

01:05:19.220 | time together.

01:05:19.940 | Father, thank you for our time in your word

01:05:23.900 | and our time to think through just very practically what

01:05:27.980 | a first session looks like in counseling ministry.

01:05:31.620 | Thank you for these key elements that

01:05:34.420 | have been derived from your word and articulated

01:05:37.980 | by many men and women who have been

01:05:41.580 | effective in biblical counseling.

01:05:44.060 | And we thank you that these elements have shown themselves

01:05:48.460 | to be fruitful.

01:05:50.340 | And we pray that you would help us

01:05:51.740 | to think through our own counseling

01:05:53.580 | ministry along these lines.

01:05:56.500 | Help us, Lord, to grow in these things,

01:05:59.220 | to grow in our listening skills, our compassionate demeanor,

01:06:05.020 | our relational skills, to grow in our ability

01:06:07.660 | to communicate your word, to give hope, and also, Lord,

01:06:12.020 | to assign good practical homework.

01:06:14.900 | And we just pray that you would train us

01:06:18.180 | to be effective counselors for your glory.

01:06:20.340 | Pray that each of the students here

01:06:22.140 | would write a great essay for your glory.

01:06:25.220 | And we thank you for this time.

01:06:26.620 | In Jesus' name, amen.

01:06:28.300 | Amen.

01:06:31.420 | Well, I am going to hang out here for 10 minutes.

01:06:35.660 | If you are a new student, I'm going

01:06:38.020 | to go through just a couple points on your syllabus.

01:06:41.780 | And then if you have any questions on essay writing,

01:06:45.820 | I'd be happy to answer that.

01:06:47.500 | There's a Q&A panel there and also a chat function

01:06:50.980 | that feel free to ask any questions that you might have.

01:06:55.980 | But the syllabus is basically--

01:07:00.300 | I think it's 10 pages here that I've given you

01:07:03.380 | some of the material that I've given to students

01:07:07.660 | as we've walked through the essays together in the past.

01:07:13.420 | And I've just put some practical suggestions

01:07:16.740 | on how to schedule your week, how to write a good essay.

01:07:21.580 | We would encourage you to get Microsoft Word.

01:07:25.580 | And the essays need to be in a DOC or DOCX format.

01:07:33.020 | And so we have had very little success

01:07:36.740 | in using other word processing platforms.

01:07:40.780 | So we just encourage you to get Microsoft Word

01:07:44.020 | and put it in a format where ACBC can read and grade

01:07:48.900 | these essays.

01:07:50.380 | We did send you a template of the counseling exams.

01:07:55.100 | And I encourage you to use that for the right formatting.

01:07:58.700 | And that should be in a Microsoft Word document.

01:08:01.900 | So we're looking for a page to a page and a half.

01:08:06.940 | Any essay that's less than a page long,

01:08:10.220 | you're probably not writing enough material.

01:08:15.900 | Anything that is coming to close to two pages

01:08:19.660 | is probably too much.

01:08:20.780 | And you're going to need to edit your material.

01:08:23.380 | And so we're looking for about a page and a half.

01:08:26.300 | I'm very comfortable with a page and a half

01:08:28.780 | when the student turns in their essay

01:08:31.660 | and it's about a page and a half.

01:08:33.980 | That's a good essay typically.

01:08:36.940 | And there's a prescribed formatting of 1.5 spacing

01:08:42.980 | and 12 point font times New Roman.

01:08:45.580 | So we're looking at about the same material for each person.

01:08:51.980 | We just encourage you to--

01:08:56.660 | on page four of your syllabus, I'll

01:09:00.940 | highlight a couple of points here.

01:09:04.820 | They ask you to write the answers

01:09:06.820 | as though you are explaining them to a counselee,

01:09:10.420 | defining all terms clearly and precisely

01:09:12.940 | with scriptural support for your answer.

01:09:15.540 | So the idea here is you're sitting down with a counselee.

01:09:18.180 | How would you communicate some of these things

01:09:21.580 | in your own language to another person?

01:09:26.580 | We encourage you to footnote any quotes or any sources that

01:09:32.300 | are used.

01:09:32.820 | I encourage my students, please do not footnote my notes

01:09:41.180 | because my notes are not published material.

01:09:43.460 | We're asking you to footnote published material that

01:09:48.060 | is from a reputable source.

01:09:49.820 | So anything that can be sold on Amazon

01:09:54.020 | is usually a published resource that you

01:09:57.100 | can footnote and quote from.

01:09:59.260 | But my notes, if you're going to use any material from my notes,

01:10:02.540 | you will want to put that in your own language

01:10:05.100 | as how would you communicate that material to a counselee

01:10:09.420 | in your own language.

01:10:11.340 | And so just a note about footnotes there.

01:10:15.980 | ACBC isn't really crazy strict about the format of footnotes.

01:10:21.180 | I encourage students--

01:10:23.380 | and I'll send you a link to go ahead

01:10:25.620 | and why not use the Terabian format.

01:10:30.700 | It'll make your footnotes look nice.

01:10:32.860 | And it'll just put a nice little shine to your essay.

01:10:37.060 | And so I encourage our students to go ahead and use

01:10:40.460 | the Terabian format for footnotes.

01:10:42.780 | And I'll send you a link that shows you

01:10:44.460 | how to do all of that.

01:10:48.180 | Exams are graded on a pass, rewrite, or fatal error basis.

01:10:52.100 | I've yet to have a student in fatal error.

01:10:54.460 | I hope not to have one yet.

01:10:57.700 | We usually have our students turn in their essays to ACBC.

01:11:03.540 | And they generally have to rewrite two to three essays.

01:11:08.260 | So don't be discouraged if you get to that point

01:11:10.580 | and you have to rewrite an essay.

01:11:12.780 | That's kind of par for the course.

01:11:16.380 | But we do encourage you to stay out

01:11:21.620 | of the fatal error category.

01:11:24.180 | I don't think I've had a student do that.

01:11:27.300 | So please don't be the first.

01:11:28.940 | I think you have to say some kind of crazy things

01:11:31.420 | to get into the fatal error category.

01:11:34.740 | So I trust you won't--

01:11:35.860 | that none of my students will do that.

01:11:41.100 | A couple notes on just on page 5.

01:11:46.580 | I just have some practical notes there.

01:11:48.220 | You can read that on your own.

01:11:49.540 | But generally, simple sentences are

01:11:55.060 | better than complicated ones.

01:11:58.660 | Much of the work I think that I've

01:12:00.220 | done with students in this class is

01:12:02.300 | helping them to write simple sentences, a subject predicate

01:12:06.820 | period.

01:12:08.500 | And people tend to write very long, complicated sentences

01:12:13.380 | that really should be broken up into three separate sentences.

01:12:17.380 | And so I just encourage you to just be

01:12:20.820 | very simple in your writing.

01:12:22.300 | You don't have to do a long, complicated sentence.

01:12:25.980 | Subject, predicate, period, subject, predicate, period

01:12:29.660 | will get you through.

01:12:31.100 | And just simpler is better in terms of your writing.

01:12:39.020 | I'd encourage you to download the Grammarly.

01:12:44.580 | I think it's a software that's available online that's free.

01:12:47.580 | I've downloaded that.

01:12:48.900 | And I haven't paid a cent for that.

01:12:52.140 | If you're struggling with grammar

01:12:54.820 | or you want someone to look over your grammar,

01:12:58.820 | we do have one of the counselors in our ministry

01:13:02.820 | who is a certified counselor who is also a professional editor.

01:13:08.140 | And she's available to read through one to two

01:13:12.140 | of your essays to let you know if you're on the right track.

01:13:15.980 | But generally speaking, Grammarly, the software

01:13:22.100 | will catch almost all of your grammar errors.

01:13:25.980 | And so anything that a professional editor will catch,

01:13:30.500 | Grammarly will catch before you have to send it to someone.

01:13:34.260 | So I encourage you to get Grammarly.

01:13:36.580 | And I think I'll send you a link on that.

01:13:40.180 | And it'll catch all of your errors

01:13:43.400 | and make you look like you have perfect English.

01:13:47.140 | So good resources there.

01:13:54.180 | And then on your handout, I have a capitalization checklist.

01:13:59.620 | Some common errors we see with capitalization

01:14:03.300 | is biblical, is not capitalized.

01:14:08.900 | You have some other gospel, as in the gospel of Jesus Christ

01:14:14.300 | is not capitalized.

01:14:16.380 | The gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John is capitalized.

01:14:19.520 | There's just some things there that you

01:14:21.180 | need to check in terms of capitalization that is found

01:14:25.740 | on that capitalization checklist.

01:14:28.700 | And then for abbreviations for Bible books,

01:14:32.160 | I would encourage you to use the resource there

01:14:35.780 | that has abbreviations from both Old Testament and New

01:14:39.220 | Testament.

01:14:40.700 | OK, much more can be said about the essays,

01:14:42.780 | but just some brief orientation comments on them.

01:14:47.340 | And then I will take some questions, I think,

01:14:49.780 | on the chat if you have questions here.

01:14:53.660 | OK, first question is, when is the first essay due?

01:14:56.920 | So the essays really can be written at your own pace.

01:15:00.660 | I have had students complete them very quickly.

01:15:06.100 | I had some students last year take year one and year two

01:15:12.180 | concurrently and finish their essays by the end of the year.

01:15:14.980 | And I also have students who they take three years

01:15:18.620 | to complete their essays, but they do get done.

01:15:21.820 | So what I'm going to be doing is teaching one essay a week.

01:15:26.540 | And so if you want to use that as a schedule,

01:15:31.740 | that you'll write one essay a week,

01:15:33.220 | that'll get you through the 44 essays in the space of a year.

01:15:38.500 | But you're not turning your essays into me every week.

01:15:43.380 | What I'm going to be doing is taking--

01:15:46.020 | once you have finished all of your essay exams,

01:15:51.840 | at that point, you'll turn into me the full 44 essays.

01:15:57.440 | And then at that point, I'll do a final review.

01:16:01.020 | Once again, if you want a weekly feedback on your essays,

01:16:05.100 | I'd encourage you to get an accountability

01:16:06.820 | partner in the class.

01:16:08.700 | And also, we have a counselor who

01:16:10.660 | will do a review of one to two of your essays in this course.

01:16:16.060 | Unfortunately, because of the number of students

01:16:18.060 | in the course, I'm not able to do a weekly review

01:16:20.420 | of each student's essays.

01:16:23.540 | But if you want to send one to two of your essays,

01:16:27.380 | typically, we'll check that.

01:16:30.460 | And we'll say, hey, you're doing great.

01:16:32.180 | You're on the right track.

01:16:33.340 | This is good material.

01:16:34.380 | And just encourage you to keep going there.

01:16:38.140 | Great question.

01:16:38.900 | So a second question is, will the recording be available?

01:16:41.700 | The answer is yes.

01:16:42.780 | Every recording will be made available the following week.

01:16:48.340 | And so if you can't make a Sunday night class

01:16:50.180 | and you want to watch that the following week,

01:16:52.060 | we will make that available on YouTube every week.

01:16:56.020 | A question is, page four of the syllabus,

01:17:01.260 | are there two-word documents for two exams?

01:17:03.900 | So the answer is yes.

01:17:05.940 | Great, that's a great observation.

01:17:08.220 | So at the end of this entire process, what you're going

01:17:10.860 | to have is two Microsoft Word documents.

01:17:14.540 | You'll have one document that has 24 theology exam essays.

01:17:20.780 | And that should run about 30 to 35 pages.

01:17:24.860 | And then you will have a second document

01:17:26.940 | that has the 20 counseling exam essays, which will probably

01:17:31.740 | run 25 to 30 pages as well.

01:17:36.020 | So those two documents, you're going

01:17:38.300 | to turn those in to me at that point.

01:17:41.220 | And I'll do a final review.

01:17:42.620 | And then you'll turn them into ACBC.

01:17:45.540 | And that'll be the marker of completion of phase two

01:17:50.100 | training.

01:17:51.060 | And that'll get you into phase three of ACBC training.

01:17:55.740 | The 44 essays, they're tough.

01:18:02.100 | It's not an issue of so much that each essay is so complex.

01:18:08.420 | But it's tough to do an essay a week for 44 weeks.

01:18:14.180 | That's really the challenge, is to persevere

01:18:16.900 | and to keep going in that study.

01:18:19.540 | And so I don't know any other way to say that,

01:18:22.860 | except that's a challenge.

01:18:24.620 | And at the same time, I've had people come to me and say,

01:18:28.980 | you know, Dan, I haven't written anything in 20 years

01:18:33.060 | since high school.

01:18:34.700 | I haven't written an essay.

01:18:36.260 | And yet, they're faithful every week to get their essay done.

01:18:39.500 | And they finish their 44 essays.

01:18:42.540 | And other people who may have more experience or more

01:18:46.260 | education that they are not able to finish

01:18:49.740 | for whatever reasons, it really is a matter of plotting

01:18:54.460 | and getting the next essay done and persevering

01:18:57.220 | through that process.

01:18:59.100 | And so we do try to motivate you and keep you going

01:19:01.780 | and keep you excited about it.

01:19:03.780 | But that is the process in phase two of ACBC training.

01:19:08.180 | One question is the name of the editor who offered

01:19:15.300 | to look over one of the essays.

01:19:16.980 | So Joan Shim is a professional editor.

01:19:21.860 | She's also an ACBC counselor.

01:19:24.820 | And she works with us here in the counseling ministry.

01:19:28.900 | I'm going to check with her real quick before I send you

01:19:31.620 | all her email, just to make sure that she's

01:19:34.700 | ready to review your essays.

01:19:37.820 | But she is-- she's a tough editor.

01:19:40.620 | I mean, very fair.

01:19:41.500 | She catches every mistake and knows her work well.

01:19:45.740 | And so she is going to--

01:19:49.700 | she has offered to look over one to two examples.

01:19:53.020 | So she's not going to look over all 44 of your essays,

01:19:55.380 | but she'll look over one to two of your essays

01:19:57.740 | to make sure you're on the right track.

01:19:59.660 | But again, I would encourage you that--

01:20:04.540 | please don't send anything to Joan

01:20:06.620 | if you haven't run that through your own spellcheck

01:20:09.540 | and if you haven't run that through Grammarly.

01:20:11.860 | Because Grammarly will catch almost everything, 98%

01:20:15.100 | of the things that we deal with.

01:20:17.660 | Grammarly will catch that and help

01:20:19.220 | you make the right adjustments.

01:20:22.500 | Great question.

01:20:23.100 | Where to submit exams.

01:20:27.900 | So once you're done with the 44 essays,

01:20:31.140 | you're going to submit those exams to ACBC,

01:20:33.900 | and they have a grading process.

01:20:35.820 | I think they have a grading fee of $100 or so.

01:20:38.940 | And they do have graders who work on your exams.

01:20:44.500 | And generally, they send those back for two to three rewrites.

01:20:51.620 | They have some real sharp people grading those exams.

01:20:54.540 | I think one of the graders I have learned is very--

01:21:01.220 | I would have been intimidated to send my essays to him

01:21:03.580 | because I think he has some very high level

01:21:07.060 | theological education.

01:21:10.540 | But just to encourage you that the graders want you to pass,

01:21:14.420 | but they're going to be fair.

01:21:15.820 | They're not grading in order to--

01:21:20.740 | they're not your friend.

01:21:21.740 | Can I say it that way?

01:21:23.820 | They're looking objectively as, do your essays make sense?

01:21:27.660 | And I think that's the value of this training,

01:21:29.620 | is you want someone who's not your friend

01:21:31.820 | to be able to look at your essays

01:21:33.980 | and to be able to say, either this makes sense

01:21:37.180 | or this doesn't make sense, and not

01:21:39.100 | to be afraid to hurt your feelings if what you're writing

01:21:42.060 | does not make sense.

01:21:44.780 | So that's a whole process.

01:21:46.300 | And it's a good process.

01:21:49.100 | It really clarifies.

01:21:51.220 | It's one thing to hear teaching and to say you agree with that.

01:21:54.140 | It's another thing to write your own essay about that subject

01:21:58.100 | and to put it in your own words.

01:21:59.460 | And it just is a great process to be

01:22:02.060 | able to own the things that you have been learning.

01:22:07.300 | So the question is--

01:22:08.420 | an additional question is, will you

01:22:09.980 | be doing another course for the theology questions?

01:22:14.220 | So we did complete the 24 theology exam questions.

01:22:20.780 | And all of that is available on YouTube.

01:22:24.540 | And I'm still evaluating whether another live course will

01:22:28.460 | be necessary or if we can use those videos

01:22:31.540 | and do some discussion around those videos.

01:22:35.500 | I'm still thinking through the right format

01:22:38.340 | for the next phase of the theology exam class.

01:22:41.940 | But those videos are all available on the 24 theology

01:22:46.620 | exams.

01:22:47.980 | If you're a motivated student and you

01:22:49.660 | want to double time and write the theology exam questions

01:22:52.860 | as well, all that material is available online.

01:22:56.260 | But there will be some format of the theology questions

01:23:02.820 | offered in the future.

01:23:05.020 | So great question.

01:23:08.700 | On the Q&A, I have a question that I've read.

01:23:12.580 | Is it better to do the theology exams first

01:23:15.620 | to have a better understanding to counsel from?

01:23:17.780 | Is it OK to do the counseling exams first?

01:23:21.380 | It really-- I've heard different things on that subject.

01:23:24.980 | Great question.

01:23:26.500 | I have heard-- some people love the counseling exams

01:23:30.980 | and they really hate writing the theology exams.

01:23:33.140 | And other people are the exact opposite.

01:23:37.820 | Some people love the theology exams

01:23:39.660 | and they really struggle with the counseling exams.

01:23:41.740 | So it really depends on the person.

01:23:46.660 | I've heard both arguments.

01:23:48.020 | I've heard some people say it's better

01:23:50.420 | to do the counseling exams first because you

01:23:52.180 | get in the groove of writing.

01:23:55.260 | And it's not as theologically intense,

01:23:58.580 | but you get in the routine of knowing

01:24:01.020 | how to write a page and a half essay

01:24:02.700 | and doing that every week.

01:24:04.060 | And so that sort of helps you lead up to the theology exam

01:24:07.500 | questions.

01:24:08.540 | I've heard the other argument of it's

01:24:11.540 | better to tackle the theology exams first

01:24:13.540 | because they're tough.

01:24:16.300 | And so get the harder part over with.

01:24:20.660 | And then everything else is downhill.

01:24:23.020 | It really can be approached either way.

01:24:26.220 | I just encourage you to--

01:24:28.100 | our students to jump in wherever you can.

01:24:30.340 | And it really depends on the person.

01:24:33.900 | But it's a great question.

01:24:36.380 | I don't know if there's a definitive answer.

01:24:38.540 | I think there's good arguments either way.

01:24:44.460 | Another question is the essay directions

01:24:46.540 | say write a paragraph or two on each part

01:24:48.980 | and identify each part.

01:24:50.220 | That sounds like section headings.

01:24:52.820 | Should those be on every essay or just

01:24:55.900 | on ones like today's with four clear parts?

01:25:01.700 | I'm trying to understand the section headings.

01:25:04.700 | It's a good question.

01:25:05.660 | I think what we're asking you to do is to write--

01:25:09.900 | this essay would probably be a good five paragraph essay.

01:25:13.420 | The first paragraph would deal with just an introduction

01:25:17.100 | to why first sessions are important.

01:25:19.740 | And then you have four paragraphs dealing

01:25:21.660 | with four of the key elements.

01:25:24.300 | I don't think you need a new section

01:25:26.340 | heading on each paragraph.

01:25:28.420 | I think you can have just five paragraphs for that essay.

01:25:34.340 | And that would be fine.

01:25:36.940 | And so I would encourage you to use the template that we sent

01:25:41.500 | out, the ACBC Counseling Exam template,

01:25:44.020 | and just where the text is to use that same formatting

01:25:49.100 | that they have in the template.

01:25:52.180 | And that would serve you well.

01:25:53.460 | So that's a great question as well.

01:25:57.060 | Thank you.

01:26:00.780 | One question is a suggested weekly schedule notes.

01:26:03.980 | Mondays are for scripture.

01:26:05.460 | Do you mean general reading or specific

01:26:07.380 | targeted scriptural searching for the topic?

01:26:09.820 | We are doing that week.

01:26:12.940 | So great question.

01:26:14.100 | I think that schedule that I put there probably

01:26:17.540 | pertains more to the theological essays, which

01:26:22.660 | each of the theology exam essays have about 10 to 15 key

01:26:28.220 | passages that students needed to think through.

01:26:31.980 | And so I just put that as a suggested schedule

01:26:35.100 | to think through the scriptures on Monday

01:26:37.380 | and then read the theology works on Tuesday.

01:26:40.780 | For the counseling exams, it's a little bit different

01:26:43.360 | because I don't think it's as heavy on reading

01:26:48.740 | the text of scripture.

01:26:50.340 | I think you're going to be, for example, with this essay,

01:26:53.580 | looking at much of the material that we covered already

01:26:57.420 | in year one.

01:26:58.900 | So feel free to follow a schedule that works for you.

01:27:02.780 | That's just a suggested schedule of how

01:27:05.220 | you might be able to break down the writing

01:27:08.420 | process into six days.

01:27:11.380 | And I've had my share of writer's block,

01:27:13.460 | believe me, staring at a blank screen for hours and despairing

01:27:19.260 | of your life.

01:27:19.900 | And so it's helped me to try to break down the writing

01:27:24.860 | process into manageable, bite-sized pieces

01:27:28.100 | that you can follow each day.

01:27:29.640 | Sometimes when you sit down and you're saying,

01:27:31.480 | oh, I have to write a page and a half essay today,

01:27:34.020 | and it just seems so insurmountable that you just

01:27:36.780 | don't know where to start, I just

01:27:38.980 | try to always find ways of how do you break that down

01:27:41.660 | into bite-sized pieces.

01:27:42.900 | So one day, you might want to read the suggested readings

01:27:47.580 | that were on page one of your handout.

01:27:50.060 | The second day, you might want to take notes.

01:27:52.020 | The third day, you might want to do a free write that's

01:27:54.740 | not your essay, but just a free write is usually--

01:27:59.940 | you're not paying attention to grammar.

01:28:01.540 | You're not paying attention to punctuation.

01:28:03.620 | You're just putting thoughts on a page.

01:28:06.940 | And you're just trying to get words.

01:28:09.240 | And then the next day, you're putting that into paragraphs.

01:28:11.660 | And the next-- I'm always just trying to think through,

01:28:13.860 | how do you break that down into the next task?

01:28:18.540 | Because like many of you and like many writers,

01:28:24.100 | writer's block is one of the greatest struggles

01:28:29.540 | in writing an essay.

01:28:31.060 | And sometimes, you just have to--

01:28:35.860 | when all else fails, and maybe it

01:28:37.500 | shouldn't be when all else fails.

01:28:38.900 | It should be the first thing we do, but I have--

01:28:41.940 | I'm in a small group where I share--

01:28:43.340 | I have shared with my small group,

01:28:45.660 | I've got to write this thing for my certification

01:28:49.740 | or for my program.

01:28:51.180 | I have writer's block.

01:28:52.380 | Can you please pray me through this

01:28:54.140 | and pray me through the next page of my project?

01:28:58.180 | And just getting people to pray for you for the next page

01:29:00.780 | or the next paragraph sometimes is how you get through it.

01:29:04.420 | And so that material there is just kind of my attempt

01:29:08.900 | to try to help you think through,

01:29:12.500 | how do you break down this process

01:29:14.500 | into manageable bite-sized pieces

01:29:16.580 | so that you're not overwhelmed?

01:29:17.880 | You're not just sitting down on a Monday saying,

01:29:20.300 | I got to write a page and a half,

01:29:21.860 | and it just seems like too much of a task to do.

01:29:25.660 | So great question.

01:29:28.580 | Think through your own process and your own scheduling,

01:29:34.540 | but do think through, how do you break that down

01:29:36.940 | into bite-sized pieces?

01:29:39.900 | Great question.

01:29:42.540 | The question is, are the template examples supposed

01:29:46.060 | to be in a foreign language?

01:29:49.100 | So yes, they have a really just kind of a--

01:29:52.880 | I don't know what it is.

01:29:53.820 | It's some kind of gibberish, or I

01:29:56.060 | don't know if it's Latin or something.

01:29:57.860 | That's just supposed to be a placeholder for text.

01:30:00.660 | And you're supposed to go in and take that text

01:30:03.780 | and put your own wonderful language into that essay.

01:30:09.660 | So go ahead, and you can delete that foreign language

01:30:12.860 | and put your own essay writing in.

01:30:15.140 | But yeah, that's a good question.

01:30:17.940 | I think they just put that in there just

01:30:19.820 | to have filler text to show you what the text should look like.

01:30:25.480 | And then a question, would you be

01:30:26.820 | willing to share the link for the handouts that correlate

01:30:29.340 | to your theology presentations?

01:30:31.180 | Great question.

01:30:32.460 | Thank you for that.

01:30:33.460 | I will send that out.

01:30:35.780 | I have a Dropbox link that has all of the theology exam

01:30:40.740 | questions, and we can send that out and also send you

01:30:43.740 | the YouTube links if you want to access that.

01:30:47.300 | I think the first four essay topics,

01:30:50.940 | we still need to rerecord because we

01:30:53.060 | have technical issues.

01:30:54.060 | But I think 20 of the essay exams for the theology exam

01:30:58.660 | should be available on YouTube.

01:31:01.780 | So thank you for that question as well.

01:31:04.900 | OK, wonderful.

01:31:08.420 | Any additional questions on the essay exams?

01:31:11.300 | I hope that's a good overview and orientation.

01:31:15.580 | And I do hope that you'll read through that.

01:31:18.660 | We are available.

01:31:20.420 | Jacqueline Hernandez works with me in the church office,

01:31:22.940 | and her email is counseling@kinderchurch.org.

01:31:26.420 | And feel free to email her about any logistical or administrative

01:31:31.180 | issues.

01:31:31.700 | You can email me at dan@kinderchurch.org.

01:31:34.540 | If you have questions on content or questions

01:31:38.460 | on any of the issues related to essay writing,

01:31:44.660 | Jacqueline will help you with any of--

01:31:47.260 | if you need resources or anything like that,

01:31:49.780 | she is a very trusted resource.

01:31:54.140 | She does a great job here in the church office,

01:31:56.380 | and she's available to help you with any questions as well.

01:32:01.580 | So wonderful.

01:32:03.860 | Well, may the Lord bless you.

01:32:06.460 | Thank you for joining us tonight.

01:32:07.900 | I think it was a great start to the new year.

01:32:10.540 | And we look forward to seeing you next Sunday

01:32:12.580 | at 5 o'clock Pacific time.

01:32:14.660 | We'll be doing counseling exam number 2,

01:32:17.780 | which is dealing with the issue of involvement.

01:32:21.620 | And we hope to see you next Sunday.

01:32:23.060 | So until then, God bless, and have a--

ACBC Counseling Exam 1 - The Importance of the First Session

Chapters