Invest_in_Your_Marriage_-_Ready_for_Upload
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00:00:30.100 | Welcome to the Radical Personal Finance Podcast. I appreciate your being here.
00:00:33.500 | My name is Joshua Sheets, and I'm your host.
00:00:35.900 | This is a special edition of the show, pre-recorded while I am traveling here during the last two weeks of September.
00:00:43.300 | I wanted to make sure I left you with a show, but I wasn't able to prepare prior to my trip
00:00:49.100 | the normal shows that I would have liked to have left for you.
00:00:52.800 | If this is your first time listening to the show, I'd encourage you, I hope you enjoy today's content.
00:00:57.300 | However, go back and check in the archives prior to the middle of September,
00:01:02.300 | or come back after, you know, the first of October,
00:01:05.800 | and you'll be able to see and experience the more normal flow of the show.
00:01:10.600 | Or at least you'll find out what has so far become normal, which I'm sure it'll change in the future.
00:01:15.600 | Today I'd like to share with you just a few thoughts that I have on alternative forms of investment.
00:01:22.900 | And what I want to talk with you about today is investing in your marriage,
00:01:29.800 | or if you're not currently married, investing in your relationships.
00:01:34.500 | One of the things that bugs me a little bit is that when people hear the word investment,
00:01:39.200 | they often think only of financial investments.
00:01:43.800 | And I really feel this is short-sighted for us to do.
00:01:48.700 | I'm married, and one of the things that I constantly think about is how can I invest in my marriage?
00:01:55.100 | Now, with marriage I can clearly justify this from a financial perspective.
00:02:00.400 | If you are married, and if you divorce,
00:02:03.500 | that will be the most expensive thing that will ever happen to you, period.
00:02:08.700 | Consider that.
00:02:10.300 | I've worked with some divorced clients, and every one of them has confirmed it.
00:02:14.300 | Maybe there's a couple out there that would disagree,
00:02:16.000 | but most of the people who have been divorced would tell me that,
00:02:19.200 | "Yeah, Joshua, that's pretty accurate, actually."
00:02:21.900 | So I would encourage you, if you don't invest in your marriage,
00:02:25.900 | it will be the most expensive mistake that you can make.
00:02:30.300 | So if you are choosing to spend all of your time optimizing something that's very important, by the way,
00:02:39.400 | optimizing the expense ratios on your mutual funds,
00:02:44.300 | or optimizing the cost of insurance on your home,
00:02:48.300 | if you're spending all your time there,
00:02:50.300 | and that has you locked away in front of a computer,
00:02:54.400 | and not investing in your relationship with your spouse,
00:02:56.700 | how much is that ultimately going to cost you?
00:02:59.900 | It costs you a lot.
00:03:05.000 | Maybe it would be wise to spend some time considering how you can invest in your marriage.
00:03:14.000 | Now, there are a number of different ways that this could go,
00:03:17.100 | and I don't know which way would speak to you.
00:03:20.700 | I don't necessarily feel that it's my place to tell anybody else
00:03:24.400 | what they should do with their marriage or with their life, even.
00:03:27.400 | It's really not.
00:03:28.900 | I'm responsible for mine.
00:03:30.700 | I'm not responsible for yours.
00:03:32.500 | I'm responsible for my marriage.
00:03:33.800 | I'm not responsible for yours.
00:03:36.100 | But what I would encourage you is to spend some time thinking about this.
00:03:40.500 | For everything that we do, there is a cost,
00:03:43.700 | and that cost is the opportunity cost for the things that we do not do.
00:03:49.000 | So you may look and say, "Well, I am investing in my family by working a lot of overtime to earn a lot of extra money."
00:03:59.900 | That may be true,
00:04:01.300 | and that may be appropriate at this stage in your life.
00:04:05.900 | But if you are investing in a lot of overtime,
00:04:10.500 | that means that you are not investing in—
00:04:13.500 | let me not be so black and white—
00:04:17.000 | that could mean that you are also not investing in time with your family.
00:04:23.300 | Now, it's important to me that I not be one or the other,
00:04:28.400 | that I not present a false dichotomy.
00:04:30.900 | Prior to now, at some point in the historical period,
00:04:37.500 | the average work week was a 60-hour work week.
00:04:42.000 | In my grandfather's day, I spoke with him when he was alive,
00:04:44.700 | and when he was growing up, and when he was a young man,
00:04:48.300 | the normal work week for everybody was 60 hours.
00:04:52.400 | Ten hours per day, six days per week.
00:04:54.400 | That was the standard.
00:04:56.300 | So I would not be one to set an arbitrary limit on this.
00:05:00.300 | I'm not saying that 60 hours is overwork,
00:05:03.300 | and therefore you're neglecting your family.
00:05:06.900 | I don't know if you are or not.
00:05:08.800 | I'm just saying that consider whether you're working in a way
00:05:14.800 | that is going to ultimately be counterproductive.
00:05:19.500 | So consider, are you investing in your family in the way that you would like to be?
00:05:27.000 | So that may be, again, working overtime.
00:05:29.100 | That may also be some thoughts such as,
00:05:31.900 | are you choosing to work when you don't need to work?
00:05:35.100 | You've heard me on the show talk about,
00:05:36.900 | doesn't make any sense to me,
00:05:38.600 | why young fathers and mothers would spend the golden years of their kids' life
00:05:45.200 | working to build their careers so that they can retire when their kids are dead,
00:05:48.500 | you know, out of the house and gone.
00:05:49.700 | Hopefully not dead.
00:05:51.500 | When the kids are out of the house and gone.
00:05:53.900 | Why not spend that time pulled back to just about normal time,
00:05:59.500 | or the minimum possible,
00:06:01.100 | or be free of work completely because of,
00:06:06.700 | you know, in order to invest in your family.
00:06:08.800 | My wife and I choose, my wife is home with the kids full time,
00:06:12.300 | and I'm working to be home with the kids full time.
00:06:14.000 | I'm home full time.
00:06:14.800 | I work from home.
00:06:16.300 | I just am not, you know, I still have to put in my time at work.
00:06:20.600 | But we're making lifestyle choices to invest in our family and in our relationship.
00:06:26.100 | The money's dead and gone when you're dead and gone.
00:06:28.600 | Doesn't do you any good.
00:06:31.000 | But you can use the money and do something good with it.
00:06:34.000 | Consider is there a way that you can invest in your relationship with your spouse.
00:06:41.200 | Consider is there a way that you can invest in,
00:06:43.700 | maybe it's instituting a date night routine,
00:06:46.400 | if that's something that speaks to you.
00:06:48.500 | If it's investing in a marriage seminar,
00:06:50.800 | if that's something that speaks to you.
00:06:52.400 | If it's investing in a babysitter and a three-day weekend away.
00:06:56.000 | If it's investing in sending the kids to grandma and grandpa's
00:06:59.300 | and having a staycation at home,
00:07:00.900 | where you have a couple days at home.
00:07:03.000 | These things do not have to be either money or relationship.
00:07:05.900 | They can all be done inexpensively and enjoyably.
00:07:09.400 | But you have to choose to be proactive.
00:07:12.000 | And then consider if you're investing appropriately.
00:07:15.400 | I get a bad rap I think in personal finance communities
00:07:18.900 | because I don't hammer on a lot of the things
00:07:21.600 | that a lot of people hammer on with finance.
00:07:24.500 | And the reason why is because in my experience
00:07:26.300 | working as a financial planner, a lot of stuff just doesn't matter.
00:07:28.500 | Again, the expense ratio on your mutual funds
00:07:30.900 | does not matter if you get divorced.
00:07:33.600 | I mean it does matter, but it's like in comparison
00:07:35.600 | to the cost of the divorce versus the other, it doesn't matter.
00:07:39.300 | Now, can you enhance a good marriage
00:07:41.400 | and keep your mutual funds at a low expense ratio?
00:07:43.600 | A hundred percent you can, so that matters.
00:07:45.500 | But let's start with the majors and focus on those
00:07:50.400 | instead of hammering on the minors.
00:07:52.200 | That's my perspective.
00:07:55.300 | Consider how can you invest now in your family and in your marriage?
00:08:01.500 | Because if you can keep your marriage together,
00:08:04.400 | that will make a dramatic difference.
00:08:06.700 | Don't make the mistake that so many have made
00:08:09.500 | of sacrificing their marriage on the altar of financial success
00:08:13.800 | and then destroying their altar of financial success
00:08:17.300 | because their marriage fell apart.
00:08:22.500 | Don't make that mistake.
00:08:25.700 | What can you do today to invest in your marriage?
00:08:34.200 | It will be different for every one of us at different stages of our life.
00:08:40.800 | It'll look different, it'll sound different,
00:08:42.900 | the answers will be different.
00:08:46.700 | But that should be a question very high on our priority list.
00:08:55.500 | You know what? Investing in your marriage
00:08:57.500 | is probably one of the best things you could do
00:08:59.200 | for your financial security.
00:09:02.200 | Frankly, if you've got a good marriage,
00:09:04.700 | your spouse will support you.
00:09:06.900 | The wedding vows say in sickness and in health,
00:09:08.900 | in poverty and in riches.
00:09:11.600 | So if you're going through poverty,
00:09:14.600 | your spouse is there to support you.
00:09:16.600 | If you're going through riches, your spouse is there for you.
00:09:19.700 | If you get sick and you get disabled
00:09:21.300 | and you don't have disability insurance,
00:09:22.900 | if you've got a spouse, you've got a plan.
00:09:25.700 | Now, it may not be an ideal plan.
00:09:27.100 | I'd still love you to get some disability insurance,
00:09:29.900 | but at least it's something.
00:09:31.900 | I just want to encourage you with that.
00:09:33.800 | What can you do to invest in marriage?
00:09:35.300 | And I hope, with this I'll close,
00:09:38.600 | I hope it doesn't sound crass
00:09:40.300 | when I talk about examples like that.
00:09:41.900 | I fear that it may sound a little crass
00:09:44.000 | to compare a spouse to an insurance policy.
00:09:47.600 | I'm doing it intentionally just simply to drive home the point
00:09:50.300 | that there are financial ramifications to relationships.
00:09:54.300 | The reason that we buy life insurance on our spouse's life
00:09:58.400 | is because our spouse has a financial benefit to us.
00:10:01.800 | That's why you can buy life insurance on a spouse's life,
00:10:04.900 | because there is a financial benefit.
00:10:07.900 | So let's recognize the financial benefit
00:10:10.200 | and let's expand our concept of finance and investing
00:10:20.900 | and let's include those things.
00:10:23.400 | If you need to support your spouse
00:10:26.700 | and healthier eating habits,
00:10:27.900 | you might not need the insurance benefit
00:10:31.400 | because he or she died of a heart attack.
00:10:35.600 | I think that's enough for today on this subject.
00:10:37.900 | I just leave you with that.
00:10:38.900 | What can you do to invest in your marriage
00:10:41.200 | and to really ensure that you not only have a marriage that lasts,
00:10:47.300 | but that you have a marriage that lasts,
00:10:50.200 | that's filled with joy?
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