Is Sex During Menstruation Sinful?

00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)

00:00:02.580 | - Today we have a mature question for married couples.

00:00:07.160 | It's an answer to a question we most recently got

00:00:11.120 | from an anonymous woman,

00:00:12.280 | but one I've seen pop up in the inbox over the years.

00:00:14.880 | And I know it's not an isolated question, here it is.

00:00:17.280 | Hello and thank you, Pastor John,

00:00:18.600 | for answering biblical questions

00:00:21.360 | and for being one of the few willing to address

00:00:23.240 | so many awkward intimacy questions

00:00:25.340 | on the podcast over the years.

00:00:27.640 | Well, that's very true.

00:00:29.480 | Nothing is too awkward on the APJ podcast.

00:00:32.920 | We've proven that definitively over the years.

00:00:35.680 | Back to the email.

00:00:36.560 | It's also a Bible question,

00:00:38.280 | and I doubt I'm the only woman who wants to know this

00:00:40.600 | and who is too uncomfortable to ask her pastors.

00:00:44.040 | Here it is.

00:00:45.120 | In Leviticus 18, verses one to 30,

00:00:47.680 | and Leviticus 20, verses 10 to 21,

00:00:49.640 | we find lists of sexual sins.

00:00:51.560 | It appears that these sins were forbidden universally,

00:00:54.300 | not just for Jews of the Old Testament era,

00:00:56.020 | because Leviticus 18, 24,

00:00:57.980 | and chapter 20, verses 22 to 23,

00:01:00.620 | mention that the non-Jewish nations

00:01:02.620 | would be cast out of their land

00:01:04.460 | for committing these sins too.

00:01:06.580 | Most of the sins on this list

00:01:07.780 | are discussed again in the New Testament,

00:01:09.780 | so I understand that they remain sins today,

00:01:12.500 | things like adultery, incest, and homosexuality.

00:01:15.400 | However, there's one Old Testament sexual sin

00:01:19.380 | mentioned three times in Leviticus,

00:01:21.100 | in Leviticus 15, 24, 18, 19, and 20, 18.

00:01:25.980 | But it is never mentioned anywhere in the New Testament,

00:01:29.540 | and nobody seems to address it anywhere.

00:01:32.740 | It's about sexual relations with a spouse

00:01:34.900 | during the woman's menstruation.

00:01:37.020 | My question is this,

00:01:39.020 | within a marriage, is this still a sin today?

00:01:43.020 | (laughs)

00:01:43.860 | - Well, if nobody addresses it, here we go.

00:01:46.300 | (laughs)

00:01:48.340 | I think the New Testament has something very practical,

00:01:55.160 | precious, profound to say about this issue,

00:01:58.700 | and that's why I'm willing to venture a few thoughts.

00:02:01.980 | Of course, this is part of a huge issue,

00:02:05.500 | namely, are Christians who are justified

00:02:08.500 | by faith in Christ the Messiah,

00:02:11.540 | and are participants in the new covenant

00:02:14.960 | that has made the old covenant old and gone,

00:02:19.900 | are we obliged to keep the Old Testament law?

00:02:23.900 | That's the bigger question

00:02:25.400 | that's behind this very specific one.

00:02:28.820 | So let me say a word about that first.

00:02:31.940 | The New Testament teaches in Hebrews 8,

00:02:34.460 | 2 Corinthians 3, Romans 7, and elsewhere,

00:02:38.400 | that the Mosaic law,

00:02:40.580 | from which these commands in Leviticus are coming,

00:02:44.060 | the old covenant has been supplanted

00:02:47.420 | for believers in Christ with a new covenant

00:02:50.580 | secured by the blood of Messiah Jesus.

00:02:55.580 | In a profound sense then,

00:02:57.780 | Christians are set free from the Mosaic law.

00:03:02.060 | Paul put it like this in Romans 7, 4, and 6,

00:03:06.020 | "My brothers, you have died to the law

00:03:10.500 | through the body of Christ.

00:03:12.720 | Now we are released from the law,

00:03:16.140 | having died to that which held us captive,

00:03:19.300 | so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit,

00:03:23.460 | and not the old way of the written code."

00:03:26.940 | Now, that does not mean

00:03:29.300 | that the commandments of the Old Testament

00:03:32.620 | have no place in the Christian life.

00:03:36.420 | We have to take into account, from this same author, Paul,

00:03:40.640 | passages like 1 Corinthians 7, 19.

00:03:44.500 | He says, "Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision

00:03:48.560 | counts for anything but keeping the commandments of God."

00:03:53.560 | Well, that's puzzling,

00:03:55.580 | because circumcision was a commandment of God.

00:03:59.820 | And he says, "You don't have to worry about that one,

00:04:03.580 | but keep the commandments."

00:04:05.500 | So he's clearly making some kind of distinction

00:04:09.860 | between some kind of commandments

00:04:12.460 | that we're supposed to be concerned with

00:04:14.940 | and others that are not to be followed.

00:04:19.640 | So what is the basis for making that distinction?

00:04:23.400 | How are we supposed to understand that

00:04:26.120 | when our lives are on a new footing?

00:04:28.640 | Law-keeping is not the basis of our right-standing with God.

00:04:32.760 | So does the New Testament give us some help

00:04:35.840 | in how to use the Old Testament commandments,

00:04:37.980 | even if they don't have the same role in our lives

00:04:42.600 | that they did for Israel?

00:04:45.080 | Yes, it does.

00:04:47.180 | Number one, I'm just gonna give a few examples.

00:04:50.960 | This is a huge topic,

00:04:52.320 | and whole books have been written about it,

00:04:55.200 | and here I am dealing with it in 10 minutes.

00:04:58.120 | Number one, for example, it says that if you love God

00:05:02.320 | and love your neighbor, you have fulfilled the law.

00:05:05.440 | All the law and the commandments, Jesus said,

00:05:07.520 | hang on these two commandments.

00:05:10.720 | Second, another example is the relationship

00:05:14.280 | between the gospel and the way of life

00:05:18.440 | that accords with the doctrine

00:05:21.480 | that follows from the gospel.

00:05:24.080 | I'm thinking 1 Timothy 1, 8, where it says,

00:05:27.080 | "We know that the law is good if one uses it lawfully."

00:05:32.080 | Well, the gospel has the death of Christ as its center,

00:05:38.980 | and so all the Old Testament commandments

00:05:42.260 | about the sacrifices and the priestly ministrations

00:05:45.460 | are fulfilled in Christ, our priest, our sacrifice,

00:05:49.200 | so those laws are not required

00:05:51.940 | because the gospel has replaced that entire system

00:05:56.600 | as the way our sins are forgiven,

00:05:59.060 | and we have this priestly connection

00:06:01.260 | with God through Jesus Christ.

00:06:03.780 | One more help from the New Testament,

00:06:06.300 | the third illustration, and there are more.

00:06:09.200 | Laws are to be appropriated which were rooted in nature

00:06:14.200 | as God created it.

00:06:17.940 | For example, Paul argues in Romans 1

00:06:20.680 | that homosexuality is not just wrong

00:06:24.220 | because it's forbidden in Leviticus,

00:06:26.620 | it's wrong because that prohibition is rooted in nature,

00:06:33.300 | abiding nature that doesn't change as God created it.

00:06:38.300 | Now, there are other criteria

00:06:41.260 | for how to properly use the Mosaic law,

00:06:43.940 | but these three point the way.

00:06:46.960 | Does it express the command

00:06:50.060 | that we're trying to decide whether to obey?

00:06:52.460 | Does it express the love of God and the love of man?

00:06:55.500 | Does it accord with the gospel of Christ?

00:06:57.700 | Is it rooted in nature?

00:07:00.300 | Those would be three criteria.

00:07:02.580 | Now, in view of all of that,

00:07:04.460 | I would say that the prohibition

00:07:06.740 | of sexual relations during menstruation

00:07:11.020 | in Leviticus 18, 19, 20, 18,

00:07:14.900 | Ezekiel 18, 6, Ezekiel 22, 10,

00:07:18.900 | are not demanded of us as Christians.

00:07:23.900 | I think that's the implication of Romans 7, 4, and 6

00:07:28.060 | that I quoted a minute ago.

00:07:29.940 | So the question becomes,

00:07:31.260 | okay, if we don't have an absolute prohibition,

00:07:36.260 | what should guide us in this matter?

00:07:40.120 | And I'll suggest two considerations

00:07:43.300 | for a husband and a wife to think and pray about.

00:07:47.060 | One is the roots of the prohibition in the Old Testament,

00:07:52.060 | and the other is the path of love

00:07:56.420 | between a husband and wife.

00:07:58.560 | Now, think with me about the roots

00:08:01.340 | of this Old Testament prohibition

00:08:05.020 | of sex during menstruation.

00:08:07.740 | Here's two verses.

00:08:08.820 | Here's Leviticus 18, 19.

00:08:10.700 | You shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness

00:08:14.780 | while she is in her menstrual uncleanness.

00:08:18.100 | Mark the word uncleanness.

00:08:20.260 | Second text, Leviticus 20, 18.

00:08:23.260 | If a man lies with a woman during her menstrual period

00:08:28.180 | and uncovers her nakedness,

00:08:30.580 | he has made naked her fountain,

00:08:35.100 | and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood.

00:08:40.100 | Now, two issues, it seems, then,

00:08:44.480 | lie behind the prohibition.

00:08:46.320 | One, uncleanness, and two,

00:08:49.800 | the exposure of the fountain of blood,

00:08:53.460 | whatever that means.

00:08:54.800 | Now, the term uncleanness, very importantly,

00:08:58.320 | does not refer to sinful impurity

00:09:02.680 | because, we know this because,

00:09:05.360 | no sacrifice was required in Leviticus because of this,

00:09:10.360 | but only washing with water.

00:09:14.560 | In other words, there's no sin involved

00:09:16.880 | in her menstrual flow.

00:09:20.040 | That's not what the uncleanness refers to.

00:09:22.360 | It's not sexual or sinful impurity.

00:09:26.520 | The issue was ritual purity

00:09:29.840 | rooted in real cleanliness.

00:09:33.820 | Before the more modern ways

00:09:36.640 | of dealing with the menstrual flow,

00:09:39.880 | countless of generations of menstrual bleeding

00:09:44.880 | was a perennial problem for women,

00:09:48.160 | indeed for men, of cleanliness.

00:09:51.720 | Menstrual rags were metaphorical in the Bible

00:09:56.080 | for filthiness.

00:09:57.720 | This was the word used in Isaiah 64, six.

00:10:01.520 | All our righteousness have become

00:10:04.160 | like filthy menstrual rags.

00:10:07.840 | It was a tremendous burden for women to have to deal with,

00:10:12.840 | and very likely, the issue of sexual relations

00:10:18.720 | was simply considered extremely unsanitary

00:10:23.720 | and made the whole challenge of a woman's cleanliness

00:10:27.680 | even more difficult

00:10:29.760 | if there was sexual intercourse involved.

00:10:34.080 | So that's my reckoning with that first word, unclean,

00:10:38.320 | and the roots.

00:10:39.320 | It's the roots of the simple burden

00:10:42.100 | of how do we maintain appropriate cleanliness

00:10:45.560 | in the community.

00:10:47.080 | Now, here's the second one.

00:10:48.560 | Uncovering her fountain.

00:10:50.600 | This is something different than the problem of cleanliness.

00:10:55.240 | This is probably a reference

00:10:57.440 | to something sacred and profound.

00:11:01.440 | The woman's monthly cycle is a constant testimony

00:11:06.440 | of a woman's glory of bearing and nurturing life

00:11:11.520 | in her womb.

00:11:12.360 | She has that potential.

00:11:14.520 | It shows up and manifests itself every month.

00:11:19.520 | Every month, she is reminded

00:11:22.280 | that she has the incredible potential.

00:11:25.760 | The welcome of life is signified every month

00:11:29.720 | by the building up of blood,

00:11:33.020 | and life is in the blood, Leviticus 17, 11.

00:11:37.560 | Life is in the blood.

00:11:39.600 | It is a life-giving spring or fountain.

00:11:44.600 | And during the menstrual flow of blood,

00:11:47.800 | there is the reminder that a life did not happen this month,

00:11:52.800 | though it might have.

00:11:55.120 | That's how much potential resides in that fountain.

00:11:59.760 | And my guess is that this entire process

00:12:03.860 | with all of its profound potential

00:12:06.380 | as the fountain of life was simply

00:12:08.560 | not to be casually observed.

00:12:11.780 | It was not to be intruded upon.

00:12:14.900 | It was to be concealed.

00:12:16.760 | It was an indictment when Leviticus 20, 18 says,

00:12:21.600 | "He has made naked her fountain."

00:12:26.160 | This is not a matter of cleanliness.

00:12:28.200 | This is a matter of sacrilege in the Old Testament.

00:12:32.040 | A fountain in its sacred flow is to be protected.

00:12:37.040 | That's my effort to understand those two roots

00:12:41.420 | in the Old Testament of why it was forbidden.

00:12:45.220 | And I can imagine a Christian married couple today

00:12:49.180 | thinking this through along both of those lines

00:12:54.020 | and choosing freely as Christians to refrain briefly

00:12:59.900 | because the Bible says husbands and wives

00:13:02.040 | shouldn't abstain from sexual relations for long,

00:13:05.800 | but briefly abstain from sexual relations

00:13:08.660 | not because they have to, but because they choose to

00:13:12.200 | for reasons that they themselves agree on.

00:13:16.120 | But since I don't think that the prohibition of sex

00:13:21.040 | during menstruation is an absolute requirement,

00:13:24.520 | how shall a couple settle the issue

00:13:27.200 | when one of them feels one way

00:13:30.760 | and the other feels the other way?

00:13:33.320 | And I use the word feels rather than theologically thinks

00:13:37.720 | because that, my guess, is really the issue.

00:13:40.780 | It's not doctrine here, it's desire, right?

00:13:43.360 | That's what's driving the issue here.

00:13:46.340 | Desire either for sex or desire not to have sex.

00:13:51.340 | Two desires that are competing.

00:13:54.980 | This is where the principle of love that I mentioned

00:13:57.480 | a moment ago is going to work its miracle.

00:14:00.600 | Here's the guideline from 1 Corinthians 7.

00:14:03.200 | The wife does not have authority over her own body,

00:14:05.920 | but the husband does.

00:14:07.400 | Likewise, the husband does not have authority

00:14:10.520 | over his own body, but the wife does,

00:14:13.860 | which means that he has authority to have sexual intercourse

00:14:18.760 | with his wife during menstruation,

00:14:21.360 | and she has authority not to have sexual intercourse

00:14:25.300 | with her husband during menstruation,

00:14:27.780 | which means this issue's not gonna be resolved by authority.

00:14:32.240 | It's a draw.

00:14:33.360 | It's going to be resolved by love,

00:14:36.580 | and love will discern the deep things

00:14:40.940 | of the heart and the body.

00:14:43.900 | And if she finds sexual relations

00:14:46.420 | during menstruation offensive, or he does,

00:14:50.060 | his inclination will be to exercise self-control

00:14:55.060 | and love for her, sacrificially, like Christ,

00:14:59.080 | for her sake and really thus for his.

00:15:02.220 | And if she finds his desire for her to be very strong,

00:15:07.220 | she may give him that gift,

00:15:09.900 | or she may surprise him with some other pleasure.

00:15:13.660 | But I would say, especially to husbands, as the leader,

00:15:18.800 | you should take the lead in exercising self-control,

00:15:23.800 | which is a fruit of the Spirit, and so bless her

00:15:28.020 | and win her affections, which I don't doubt

00:15:32.140 | will pay dividends in the rest of the month.

00:15:36.340 | - Awkward but helpful.

00:15:37.180 | Thank you, Pastor John.

00:15:38.000 | And man, can you imagine being a priest in the Old Testament,

00:15:42.020 | an expert in all body fluids?

00:15:44.060 | - Oh my goodness.

00:15:44.900 | - Well, let's keep it awkward.

00:15:45.860 | Send us your awkward Bible questions.

00:15:47.700 | Email us, askpastorjohn@desiringgod.org.

00:15:50.240 | That's our email address, askpastorjohn@desiringgod.org.

00:15:53.680 | Thank you for your emails.

00:15:55.720 | We've addressed several intimacy questions now,

00:15:58.000 | and you can find those all in the podcast archive online

00:16:01.160 | at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.

00:16:05.240 | That's an online URL, desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.

00:16:09.600 | We break for the weekend.

00:16:11.320 | On Monday, we will look at the place of holiness

00:16:13.800 | in the Christian life.

00:16:14.800 | If we are fully justified in Christ,

00:16:16.800 | why is personal holiness that big of a deal anyways?

00:16:20.260 | Well, it is a big deal,

00:16:21.480 | and Pastor John will be back with us to explain on Monday.

00:16:24.540 | I'm your host, Tony Reiki.

00:16:25.480 | We'll see you then.

00:16:26.320 | Thanks for listening.

00:16:27.320 | (upbeat music)

00:16:29.900 | (upbeat music)

00:16:32.480 | [BLANK_AUDIO]

Is Sex During Menstruation Sinful?

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