Jen Glantz: Multiple Streams of Income and Finding Your Side Hustles

00:00:00.000 | I've literally tried to monetize everything I love in this life.

00:00:02.880 | And while that might sound like really creepy or cheesy, it works for me.

00:00:06.360 | But I think it's like, what are the things that you enjoy?

00:00:09.320 | What are the things that people consider you an unofficial expert in?

00:00:12.520 | And what are the businesses or side hustles

00:00:14.600 | that you would want to spend all day Saturday and Sunday doing?

00:00:18.880 | Once you start to think about that, you might come closer to an idea.

00:00:22.120 | The other thing to think about that I love to do is start tracking problems

00:00:25.960 | that you have every single day.

00:00:27.440 | What are the many problems you have from the second you wake up

00:00:30.160 | till the time you go to sleep?

00:00:32.080 | Businesses are created because of problems need to be solved.

00:00:34.960 | And if you start monitoring and figuring out what the common problems

00:00:38.280 | you or your friends have,

00:00:39.800 | you might find yourself a really cool, untapped business idea.

00:00:43.480 | Hello and welcome to another episode of All The Hacks,

00:00:51.720 | a show about upgrading your life, money and travel.

00:00:54.640 | Now, so many business leaders say that you should just focus on one thing

00:00:58.680 | and not spread yourself too thin on so many different projects

00:01:01.800 | and that the way to success is to laser focus on one goal, one product,

00:01:06.240 | one business idea and tune everything else out.

00:01:08.520 | But our guest today, Jen Glantz, throws all that advice out the window

00:01:13.040 | because she's an entrepreneur with multiple businesses,

00:01:16.000 | multiple streams of income, and she thrives at doing it.

00:01:19.280 | She started her first business, Bridesmaid for Hire,

00:01:22.360 | after an ad she placed in Craigslist went viral.

00:01:24.800 | But she's also written three books, over 1,500 articles for publications

00:01:29.000 | from Forbes to The Today Show to The Washington Post.

00:01:31.560 | She hosts a podcast, You're Not Getting Any Younger,

00:01:34.360 | which I had the pleasure of being a guest on a few weeks ago.

00:01:36.920 | And if that's not enough, she has three newsletters, sells digital courses,

00:01:41.280 | does professional coaching and speaking.

00:01:43.440 | And oh, she has her own game called the Newlywed Card Game.

00:01:47.440 | I have no idea how she does it all.

00:01:50.000 | So let's jump in and find out.

00:01:52.200 | Jen, thank you for being here.

00:01:54.120 | Well, Chris, thank you for having me.

00:01:55.520 | I honestly forget all that I do until you just read that intro.

00:01:59.040 | And then I was like, wow, that is a lot.

00:02:00.800 | That is a lot. But I'm really proud of it all.

00:02:02.760 | My first question is just did you always think you would be someone

00:02:05.400 | that had all of these projects and businesses going on?

00:02:08.520 | In all honesty, I was that person at my full time job that couldn't just do my job.

00:02:13.120 | I was working at a startup as a copywriter and I couldn't just write.

00:02:16.960 | I had to know how the sales team was doing.

00:02:19.240 | I wanted to know what a project manager was like.

00:02:21.360 | I was always so curious about other things.

00:02:23.840 | I was also the person at my full time job that did the whole job

00:02:27.040 | within like a couple of hours and had the rest of the day to do nothing.

00:02:30.320 | And that's when I started writing a blog and started doing my all my own work

00:02:33.800 | while I was getting paid at my full time job.

00:02:35.920 | So I always knew that I was never a person who wanted to do just one thing,

00:02:40.400 | but I never knew what I was going to ultimately do.

00:02:43.840 | You know, I majored in poetry in college,

00:02:45.880 | so I feel like I set myself up for a life of question marks.

00:02:49.520 | And when I graduated, I just knew I didn't want to live a standard life.

00:02:53.320 | I didn't I knew I didn't want to be someone else's employee.

00:02:56.120 | I knew I wanted so much more from myself,

00:02:58.720 | but I didn't necessarily know where that journey would take me.

00:03:01.760 | The first side hustle was Bridesmaid for Hire, right?

00:03:05.240 | Well, actually, I would say my first side hustle was a blog

00:03:08.160 | I started in 2011 called The Things I Learned From.

00:03:11.160 | And I wrote that blog.

00:03:12.800 | I had no readers that grew and grew and grew.

00:03:15.280 | And eventually that led to me getting a book deal.

00:03:18.120 | And that led to me becoming a freelance writer.

00:03:20.320 | So while I didn't necessarily make money off of the blog when I first started it,

00:03:23.960 | it led to all of these different opportunities that propelled my journey.

00:03:27.640 | And I started the blog because I was working a really bad job

00:03:32.000 | and nobody would publish my writing and I wanted to be a writer.

00:03:35.400 | So I started this blog on WordPress.

00:03:37.560 | And that was a game changer that set me up for so much more to come.

00:03:40.960 | So I think one takeaway there is it doesn't have to be a business

00:03:44.320 | to necessarily become a business.

00:03:46.680 | So if you're listening and you're thinking, "Oh, I have this thing.

00:03:49.240 | I don't know how to make money from it."

00:03:50.800 | Your example here is you did this thing that made no money.

00:03:53.080 | And now you have, I don't know, seven, eight different businesses

00:03:56.440 | and streams of income that kind of all came from that.

00:03:59.240 | Yeah.

00:04:00.560 | How did you know when to spend more time on the blog

00:04:04.120 | or any other project versus you had a day job?

00:04:06.840 | When I was working full time, I realized, "OK, you know,

00:04:10.400 | I don't necessarily need the income from other projects.

00:04:13.280 | So let me throw some things out there and see what sticks,

00:04:16.280 | see what's going well."

00:04:17.640 | I've always been a person who likes to work on multiple things.

00:04:21.120 | So I would wake up before work at 4 a.m., work on one project,

00:04:24.560 | go to work and work on other projects at work, come home and do even more.

00:04:28.520 | So I would literally take if I was working on three side hustles

00:04:31.200 | and I would split my day to give each the same amount of time.

00:04:34.200 | Now, there were some points when some blew up a little bit more

00:04:37.000 | and then I would spend weekends

00:04:38.160 | working on those and let the other ones fall behind.

00:04:41.000 | But one thing I've always vowed to myself is that if I created something

00:04:44.920 | that had an audience, whether a podcast, a blog, a newsletter,

00:04:48.000 | that I would not let them down.

00:04:49.720 | And what I mean by that is I would never miss a day when I owed them content.

00:04:54.240 | So my podcast comes out every Friday, my newsletter every Monday,

00:04:57.840 | and my blog used to come out every Tuesday.

00:04:59.560 | I would never, ever, ever miss a day.

00:05:01.800 | So if I had something with an audience, I always showed up for them

00:05:05.360 | no matter what, and I'm still that way.

00:05:07.840 | And I think when you're building and growing, you need consistency.

00:05:11.240 | That's everything in branding.

00:05:12.720 | And as a content creator, that's what gives you your credibility,

00:05:15.760 | especially early on.

00:05:17.160 | I have a newsletter and it comes out every two weeks.

00:05:19.480 | And I think I've only missed one.

00:05:21.600 | And there were there's at least a good reason behind the one that missed.

00:05:25.160 | But, you know, it forces me to not give it up because whether

00:05:29.280 | even if it's your passion, right, everyone always says, you know, for me,

00:05:32.120 | this podcast is a passion of mine, this newsletter is.

00:05:34.680 | That doesn't mean that there are days where you're like, gosh, I just you know,

00:05:37.560 | I just need a break.

00:05:38.800 | And I think the consistency forces you to keep going.

00:05:42.440 | Otherwise, the break you take could go longer than you want.

00:05:45.520 | And, you know, I think even fulfilling things can be hard.

00:05:48.800 | Yeah. And also when you're creating content, you want some sort of validation.

00:05:53.000 | And I've learned early on as a writer, you're not going to get people

00:05:55.480 | who email you every week and say, good job, I love the show.

00:05:58.160 | Like, that's a bonus.

00:05:59.920 | But I think if you still really want to take this seriously,

00:06:02.360 | you need validation in some sort of way.

00:06:04.320 | And I have always found that in accountability and being my own

00:06:07.160 | accountability buddy.

00:06:08.520 | So if I set deadlines, especially as an entrepreneur or a content creator,

00:06:12.400 | if I miss those deadlines, that's me failing myself.

00:06:15.480 | And if I make those deadlines, that's validation, that's accountability.

00:06:19.280 | And I've always been so firm on that, that me showing up

00:06:23.040 | is the only ticket I have to my own success.

00:06:26.120 | Whether or not people are going to praise me for my content,

00:06:29.160 | it allows me to know that I'm doing the work I need to do.

00:06:31.680 | That makes sense.

00:06:33.000 | And I'll give a shout out to a listener here named Darshan, who sent me an email.

00:06:36.720 | It was like, hey, I know most people write in and complain or ask questions.

00:06:39.240 | I'm just writing in to say thank you.

00:06:41.000 | And I was like, oh, man, feels really good to get those emails

00:06:43.800 | because, you know, a lot of mediums, podcasting, especially.

00:06:46.840 | It's not really easily a two way street.

00:06:49.280 | But now let's go back to this first first big, big break.

00:06:53.640 | I guess you call it. Yeah.

00:06:55.120 | You put this ad in Craigslist.

00:06:57.440 | What led to you even posting the ad?

00:06:59.480 | Because it's not like there was a bridesmaids for hire business

00:07:02.760 | that you, you know, lots of people were doing

00:07:04.480 | and you just wanted to throw your hat in the ring.

00:07:06.320 | The truth is, I had a really bad Friday night

00:07:09.000 | and I was rejected from an opportunity and I was feeling down about myself.

00:07:13.520 | And before that, I had all of these friends

00:07:16.000 | getting married in my early 20s and I was always a bridesmaid.

00:07:19.000 | And that same night that I was feeling down about myself, I had two friends

00:07:23.200 | I hardly spoke to who ironically lived down the street.

00:07:26.920 | Two of those people on that same Friday night called me up and said,

00:07:30.280 | hey, will you be my bridesmaid?

00:07:32.400 | It was so random.

00:07:33.520 | I was feeling so down about myself.

00:07:35.440 | I was venting to my roommate and I said, Carrie, like what is going on?

00:07:39.280 | And she said, Jen, come on, it's obvious these people are asking you

00:07:42.480 | because you're good at it.

00:07:43.760 | You're like some sort of professional.

00:07:46.040 | And I went home after she had gone out.

00:07:48.360 | My roommate had gone out and I just sat there and I was like, you know what?

00:07:51.720 | I'm so sick of where I am in my life.

00:07:54.480 | I'm so sick of feeling stuck.

00:07:56.560 | I'm so fed up also about being a bridesmaid.

00:07:59.120 | Let me do something about it.

00:08:00.680 | If I'm good at this skill and I have distant friends asking me,

00:08:03.760 | why not allow strangers to hire me?

00:08:06.120 | I didn't know a thing about business.

00:08:08.160 | I didn't know if this was going to work, but I said to myself, let me try it.

00:08:11.600 | So I went to craigslist.com, which is a website my mom told me

00:08:14.760 | growing up, never, ever, ever go to.

00:08:17.200 | And I posted the anonymous ad basically saying, hey, if you need help

00:08:20.760 | at your wedding as a bridesmaid, I'll be there.

00:08:22.640 | I'll show up in the dress.

00:08:23.760 | I'll walk down the aisle.

00:08:24.720 | I'll dance with your weird uncle.

00:08:26.280 | I'll give the speech.

00:08:27.440 | I'll help you pee in your wedding dress, which is like actually a hard thing to do.

00:08:32.080 | And I posted the ad.

00:08:33.120 | I went to sleep.

00:08:34.040 | I lived my life.

00:08:35.120 | I didn't even check my email over the weekend.

00:08:37.600 | I just figured, whatever.

00:08:38.680 | Nobody saw this craigslist ad.

00:08:40.880 | I go to work Monday morning and I see in my inbox.

00:08:43.640 | I have hundreds of emails from people all over the world that wanted to hire me.

00:08:48.480 | Let alone somebody in my office chatted me a link to a BuzzFeed

00:08:52.400 | news article about the ad saying, oh, my God, Jen, like this is you.

00:08:57.080 | Like you're in BuzzFeed.

00:08:58.360 | And my life literally changed over the course of a weekend

00:09:01.840 | without me even knowing it.

00:09:03.960 | I have so many questions.

00:09:05.120 | So I want to dig into both the business side of this.

00:09:07.920 | But because I think very, very

00:09:10.280 | because I think most people don't understand this business,

00:09:14.120 | you know, you gave a bunch of great examples.

00:09:16.600 | What can you just share a little bit about the role?

00:09:19.160 | Why people actually end up hiring you?

00:09:21.640 | Some surprising things you've learned.

00:09:24.760 | You know, people hear this and they're like, this is so weird.

00:09:27.200 | Who would want to hire you?

00:09:28.280 | And I'm like, OK, just give me a couple of seconds and I'll convince you.

00:09:30.880 | Number one, it's not a wedding planner.

00:09:32.920 | I don't help you pick your flowers or your dress or your venue.

00:09:35.840 | I don't do any of that.

00:09:37.560 | I am strictly your hired bridesmaid.

00:09:40.000 | I'm there as the personal assistant running to CVS because you don't have tissues.

00:09:44.000 | I'm the social director who plans the bachelorette party and makes it fun.

00:09:47.800 | I'm the person who is the peacekeeper when the mother in law and you are fighting.

00:09:52.280 | I come between that and break that off.

00:09:54.360 | And I'm the on-call therapist.

00:09:55.840 | I'm the one you can call at two in the morning and vent about how stressed

00:09:58.680 | you are about your wedding.

00:10:00.040 | I am there for the people.

00:10:01.840 | I'd say there's two types of people who hire me.

00:10:04.160 | Type number one are people who have friends, but they need that professional

00:10:08.320 | embedded in their wedding party because their friends are a disaster

00:10:12.000 | and they want someone who's going to keep the peace,

00:10:14.000 | but also make sure they feel supported.

00:10:16.080 | And on the flip side, I have the person who hires me

00:10:18.480 | because they don't have any friends.

00:10:20.280 | And I know that sounds bizarre, but the truth is a lot of people out there

00:10:23.520 | don't have close, solid relationships.

00:10:26.080 | And when you get married, you need that support system.

00:10:29.640 | You need that person who's going to be there for you emotionally,

00:10:33.000 | mentally and physically before your wedding and on the day of.

00:10:36.560 | I am your bridesmaid.

00:10:38.120 | So what does that mean?

00:10:39.240 | While I wear the dress, I walk down the aisle, I dance on the dance floor.

00:10:42.600 | But aside from that, I also pretend to be a part of your life.

00:10:46.520 | So oftentimes I have a fake name, a fake backstory,

00:10:49.800 | and nobody in your life knows I'm hired.

00:10:52.320 | Sometimes not even the person you are marrying.

00:10:54.600 | So I take on that role as your friend.

00:10:57.040 | And I've been doing this for seven years.

00:10:59.120 | People called it crazy.

00:11:00.440 | Some people called it brilliant.

00:11:02.040 | I always called it a must need.

00:11:04.160 | And I remember doing my first wedding ever

00:11:06.720 | for for a woman named Ashley from Maple Grove, Minnesota.

00:11:10.240 | I remember flying there, getting off the plane, thinking,

00:11:13.800 | what are you about to do?

00:11:14.880 | You're about to show up at a stranger's wedding. Are you crazy?

00:11:18.080 | And when I got back on the plane to go back to New York,

00:11:21.080 | I remember thinking, Jen, this is something and this is something

00:11:24.200 | that's going to be incredibly important to so many people's lives.

00:11:27.960 | And that's sort of why I started it and why I keep doing it till this day.

00:11:31.840 | I want to go two directions here.

00:11:33.640 | So I'll ask first, what are some of the kind of fun,

00:11:37.280 | surprising things you've seen or learned?

00:11:39.520 | I always say that I'm a person who never liked weddings.

00:11:42.920 | I was never a person who planned a dream wedding.

00:11:45.200 | I could never care about my own wedding.

00:11:47.120 | I still don't like weddings.

00:11:48.680 | I think why I do this job is because I love helping strangers

00:11:51.800 | in chaotic situations, and that's what weddings are.

00:11:54.600 | I've learned so much about humans and love and relationship on this job

00:12:01.200 | that has completely reshaped how I think about humanity

00:12:04.440 | in both good ways and not so good ways.

00:12:06.720 | You know, one thing I like to talk about that nobody really will mention

00:12:10.640 | is that cold feet is an absolute real thing

00:12:13.680 | that happens to very many people on their wedding day.

00:12:17.080 | I call it the diving board effect,

00:12:18.880 | where right before they're about to walk down the aisle,

00:12:21.320 | they know whether or not they're making a mistake.

00:12:23.920 | And these are people who might not have known before,

00:12:26.400 | but in that moment, they know if you ask a lot of people

00:12:29.320 | who got divorced within the first year or so after their wedding,

00:12:32.240 | they will tell you they knew in that moment they were making a mistake.

00:12:35.960 | And this is something so fascinating because a big part of my job

00:12:39.560 | is helping people when they have cold feet,

00:12:41.520 | whether a week before, a month before or five minutes before.

00:12:45.280 | So watching cold feet, something that you only see on TV,

00:12:48.560 | actually be real was incredibly fascinating to me

00:12:52.280 | and difficult to handle at first.

00:12:54.320 | The other thing that I've learned, too,

00:12:56.200 | which is a little different and difficult to mention

00:12:59.200 | is that a lot of people don't get married for love.

00:13:01.400 | A lot of people get married for love and something else.

00:13:05.440 | Pretty much all of us get married for love and something else.

00:13:08.840 | Some people don't get married for love at all,

00:13:11.400 | but some people get married for the and part,

00:13:13.320 | which might be financial security or might be because that person

00:13:16.920 | is going to provide them with a certain lifestyle

00:13:19.000 | or because they're at a certain age.

00:13:20.920 | And this is just what they want to do.

00:13:22.520 | And I have heard a lot of people admit to me candidly what that and is.

00:13:27.240 | And that was fascinating to me as well.

00:13:29.240 | I always thought people just had like fairy tale romances.

00:13:32.040 | And when I met my future husband back in the day,

00:13:34.840 | I started to realize that this was true.

00:13:37.520 | You fall in love.

00:13:39.000 | But what gets you to that finished line of marriage is always the end.

00:13:42.800 | Whatever that part is, whether positive or negative.

00:13:45.360 | And you said some people don't even have the love part.

00:13:48.120 | How does that work out?

00:13:49.800 | You know, now you've been doing this long enough that you can see the end result.

00:13:53.280 | You know, it's crazy because a lot of people will say

00:13:56.240 | you must be so good at knowing if a couple is going to make it.

00:13:59.200 | But the truth is, you could never, ever, ever judge anybody else's relationship

00:14:03.000 | because people stay in relationships just like they enter relationships

00:14:07.200 | for different reasons.

00:14:08.240 | So just because you think your friends out there are not going to make it,

00:14:11.600 | whatever type of relationship

00:14:12.920 | they have might be exactly what they're looking for and what they want.

00:14:15.960 | And it might be something so different than what you want.

00:14:18.560 | So a lot of people who are getting married because they want that person's money

00:14:21.920 | or because of whatever that reason is, they end up do staying together.

00:14:26.160 | And it's because they got what they wanted

00:14:27.760 | and the other person got what they wanted as well.

00:14:29.960 | And while it might be very different than what I want, it works for them.

00:14:33.640 | So I think it is so hard to know if a couple is going to make it.

00:14:37.800 | When I played this game at weddings, the couples, I was like,

00:14:40.760 | oh, they're going to be together forever.

00:14:42.960 | Two years in are divorced.

00:14:44.360 | So you don't really know.

00:14:46.400 | And I mean, it's fascinating because I have some of those thoughts

00:14:50.080 | in my head when, you know, that couple, you know, they argue a lot

00:14:53.400 | or all this stuff.

00:14:54.440 | And, you know, so far, I'm not anywhere close

00:14:58.200 | to being predictive of that behavior.

00:15:00.360 | Yeah, it might be their communication style.

00:15:02.160 | Like, I can't tell you the amount of couples that right before

00:15:04.680 | they walked down the aisle, they're screaming at each other, they're cursing.

00:15:08.040 | And while that's like not healthy and not good, that's their communication style.

00:15:12.360 | That's how they work.

00:15:13.480 | And for some odd reason, it just works for them.

00:15:16.040 | Cold feet is one thing and then calling it off as another.

00:15:19.160 | Has that ever happened?

00:15:20.360 | Many times.

00:15:21.040 | I've actually been hired a couple of times to end engagements

00:15:24.320 | where the person had nobody in their life they could ask for that help from.

00:15:27.400 | So they'll call me up and we'll talk about the steps

00:15:29.720 | they need to take to get out of the engagement

00:15:31.400 | because they're scared to tell their parents or they're scared

00:15:33.680 | to tell their friends and they need that unbiased support system.

00:15:37.000 | But I've also been at weddings where they don't want to do it,

00:15:39.320 | where the bride tells me that she hates the groom and she wants out right now.

00:15:43.000 | And my perspective, which is different than a friend or a family member,

00:15:46.800 | is I really want what's best for you.

00:15:48.880 | Yeah, your friends and family want that, too.

00:15:50.600 | But in the moment when the spotlight is on, they just don't want you to be embarrassed.

00:15:54.320 | They just want you to, you know, do whatever you can do

00:15:56.520 | to just get this moment over with.

00:15:58.000 | So I've had a lot of people who we've had to end the wedding.

00:16:00.800 | I've had people who go through with the wedding,

00:16:02.520 | but they don't legally get married.

00:16:04.320 | But that's happened a lot.

00:16:05.360 | And that is not something

00:16:06.560 | I thought I'd have to deal with when I started the business.

00:16:08.760 | This is wild.

00:16:09.920 | And what you said, you've learned a lot about relationships.

00:16:12.080 | Obviously, you haven't learned how to predict divorce.

00:16:14.560 | But what are things that, you know, you've learned about relationships

00:16:17.960 | that people listening could apply to their own relationship?

00:16:20.480 | I always thought because of this job, I would never want to get married anymore

00:16:24.480 | just because I've seen so much.

00:16:26.160 | And when I started dating my now husband, I said to him after he proposed,

00:16:30.320 | we're going to do things differently.

00:16:31.880 | And I wasn't talking about the wedding.

00:16:33.400 | I was talking about what we had to do before we got married.

00:16:36.480 | I wanted to make sure we had all the checks and balances in place

00:16:39.760 | so that I knew that this was the right move for my life.

00:16:42.480 | So I made us meet with a divorce lawyer to talk about prenups

00:16:45.560 | and what that would look like.

00:16:46.640 | And if we want one, we didn't end up getting one.

00:16:49.240 | But I can absolutely see why that's so important.

00:16:51.680 | And you can get a postnum, which I never knew about.

00:16:54.320 | We talked to a financial advisor to talk about what we should do

00:16:57.320 | with our finances, and we didn't end up combining finances.

00:17:00.160 | But we went through the process of understanding that.

00:17:02.680 | We went to a marriage counselor to talk about why marriages fail.

00:17:06.000 | I literally was like, if you want to marry me,

00:17:08.120 | we are meeting with all of these professionals that people meet with

00:17:11.080 | once the marriage starts to go downhill before we get married.

00:17:14.840 | And I wanted us to have education on what marriages and what changes

00:17:18.600 | and all of these things.

00:17:19.520 | And while he was like so freaked out and was just like,

00:17:22.360 | can't you be normal and enjoy our engagement?

00:17:24.560 | It helped me feel prepared.

00:17:27.080 | And I think a lot of couples have conversations,

00:17:30.520 | but they don't really go through these motions before they get married

00:17:33.560 | because nobody tells you it's OK to or that you should.

00:17:36.400 | Everybody in life sets you up to find love.

00:17:39.360 | They teach you how to date.

00:17:40.800 | Everyone helps you plan a wedding, but nobody helps you once you get married.

00:17:45.000 | You're just supposed to figure it out.

00:17:46.880 | And I didn't want us to figure it out.

00:17:48.960 | And that was something I've learned from the job is before you get married,

00:17:52.480 | go through a lot of these really tough conversations.

00:17:55.440 | And then once you get married, things might be a little easier for you.

00:17:58.880 | Even if you are married and haven't haven't gotten into them, right?

00:18:01.760 | Let's say you're thinking about having kids.

00:18:03.320 | You could go talk to a marriage counselor and say, hey,

00:18:05.680 | what are the problems that we're going to face when this happens?

00:18:08.280 | What do you see?

00:18:09.040 | And what can we do now to find out how we would handle them

00:18:12.120 | and how we could do better?

00:18:13.320 | You know, we're proactive with so many things in our life that matter,

00:18:16.120 | like our health or sometimes our careers.

00:18:18.160 | But we're not always so proactive with relationships.

00:18:20.440 | And that's what I've really tried to be with.

00:18:22.080 | My partner is we don't really have a ton of big problems now.

00:18:25.600 | We have our standard problems.

00:18:26.960 | But what can we know so that when we start to get into those problem areas,

00:18:31.120 | we know the tools that we can turn to and we know what to do.

00:18:33.720 | We're by no means perfect.

00:18:35.080 | But I think a combination of therapy and curiosity and meeting

00:18:38.160 | with a lot of these professionals has really helped us

00:18:40.480 | at least have these conversations in a neutral playing field

00:18:44.720 | rather than an awkward, hey, things are getting a little bad between us.

00:18:48.280 | What should we do now?

00:18:49.200 | Because it's very hard to rise to the occasion

00:18:51.200 | when your relationship is starting to go downhill.

00:18:53.120 | So getting back to the business side of this,

00:18:57.440 | what advice do you have for someone trying to figure out

00:19:00.120 | what could be their side hustle?

00:19:01.760 | I think the important thing is think about what you're getting asked

00:19:05.240 | to do constantly in your life.

00:19:06.920 | What are your friends asking you for help with?

00:19:09.200 | What are the things that you're spending your quality time doing?

00:19:12.280 | And if that's just reading different Reddit boards or reading certain books

00:19:15.640 | or watching certain TV shows or caring about certain hobbies,

00:19:18.640 | what are those things and can you monetize them?

00:19:20.720 | I've literally tried to monetize everything I love in this life.

00:19:23.880 | And while that might sound like really creepy or cheesy,

00:19:26.240 | it works for me, but I think it's like, what are the things that you enjoy?

00:19:30.320 | What are the things that people consider you an unofficial expert in?

00:19:33.520 | And what are the businesses or side hustles that you would want to spend

00:19:37.080 | all day, Saturday and Sunday doing?

00:19:39.880 | Once you start to think about that, you might come closer to an idea.

00:19:43.120 | The other thing to think about that I love to do is start tracking problems

00:19:46.960 | that you have every single day.

00:19:48.440 | What are the many problems you have from the second you wake up

00:19:51.160 | till the time you go to sleep?

00:19:53.040 | Businesses are created because of problems need to be solved.

00:19:55.960 | And if you start monitoring and figuring out what the common problems

00:19:59.280 | you or your friends have,

00:20:00.840 | you might find yourself a really cool, untapped business idea.

00:20:04.560 | And where are you tracking these?

00:20:05.920 | Are you writing business ideas and problems down in a notebook?

00:20:08.920 | What's your method?

00:20:09.840 | I'm a paper and pencil kind of person.

00:20:11.960 | I don't really like a lot of technology and apps.

00:20:14.200 | If you saw my desk right now, I have a stack of papers and I use that.

00:20:18.080 | There's also a great website called Notepad, Notepad.pd, I think.

00:20:23.840 | It started by James Alcantara.

00:20:25.000 | It's notepad.com, where you can write 10 ideas a day and people.

00:20:29.320 | It's like a community.

00:20:30.160 | They can comment on it and it's free and people can add to your idea list.

00:20:33.800 | You can scan a site like that or read it or other places

00:20:37.160 | and write down a list of so many business ideas

00:20:39.880 | just on what people are venting about.

00:20:41.920 | When I think about how to expand Bridesmaid for Hire,

00:20:44.480 | I often go on wedding forums or in wedding Facebook groups,

00:20:47.440 | and I just read what problems people have and how they're trying to solve them.

00:20:51.320 | And then I think of a digital product

00:20:52.960 | or something that I could offer that taps into that.

00:20:55.120 | How did you first decide how much to charge someone to be their bridesmaid?

00:21:00.200 | And there wasn't a market for it.

00:21:01.840 | I'm going to be so honest with you.

00:21:03.120 | I was a poetry major. I was working at a startup.

00:21:05.280 | I had no idea.

00:21:06.400 | I literally, when the ad went viral, I went on national TV, live TV,

00:21:11.040 | and they asked me how much this cost.

00:21:12.880 | And I said, "Cost? This is a free service.

00:21:15.360 | I want to do this for free."

00:21:17.200 | And my brother, who's like in the business world, was like,

00:21:20.160 | "What did you just do? And this is not going to be free."

00:21:23.120 | And to be honest with you, I didn't know how much to charge,

00:21:25.760 | but I found a different type of vendor in the wedding industry

00:21:28.960 | that I was closest to.

00:21:30.120 | So I looked at wedding planners and day of coordinators and were very different.

00:21:33.240 | But I looked at their pricing model.

00:21:34.960 | I saw how much they charged, how they structured their packages.

00:21:38.120 | And I modeled it off of that.

00:21:39.960 | Even then, my pricing was far too low.

00:21:42.480 | And after I worked a ton of weddings, I would come home and raise my prices

00:21:46.320 | by five dollars, ten dollars just because I was exhausted.

00:21:50.080 | So I think pricing is something that will take time to figure out.

00:21:53.680 | But you can do research.

00:21:55.080 | Look at any other competitors that you have.

00:21:57.280 | Figure out who your target audience is so you can match a price

00:22:00.280 | to your target audience and how much disposable income

00:22:02.880 | they might have to spend on your product or your service.

00:22:05.640 | And the other thing to start to figure out is your operating costs.

00:22:08.560 | You know, a lot of my operating costs are my time spent on these phone calls

00:22:12.560 | or me getting to the wedding or my downtime when I'm not working in the wedding

00:22:16.160 | or also, you know, being out on my own.

00:22:18.240 | I have to pay health insurance and all of these things can factor into your pricing.

00:22:21.880 | But I was the one that, you know, never had any business training,

00:22:24.840 | any advice on what to do.

00:22:26.280 | I have learned and all of my success that I have had

00:22:29.360 | is because of all of the mistakes that I have made on my own costly mistakes.

00:22:34.160 | And if you went back in time,

00:22:36.240 | where would you start setting your price now if you could do it all over again?

00:22:39.160 | If I could go back in time, I would say to myself, Jen,

00:22:42.040 | even though you don't think you are worth this price, let me tell you,

00:22:46.160 | you don't know your worth because you are too deep in the business to know better.

00:22:49.920 | So I want you to double, if not triple what you were charging.

00:22:53.440 | I think I first started off in 2014, charging under a thousand dollars

00:22:57.240 | for this service, which is ludicrous because of the amount of time

00:23:01.200 | and energy and resources that go into this.

00:23:04.000 | And now I'm closer to the three thousand dollar mark,

00:23:06.520 | which I think for the baseline package, which I think is a really good price

00:23:10.640 | for the service.

00:23:11.320 | So I wish I would have tripled my price and said, you know what, Jen,

00:23:14.200 | you might not feel like this is what you should charge,

00:23:17.400 | but the value you're giving is extraordinary and people will pay it.

00:23:21.680 | We're always so scared that if we raise our prices

00:23:24.200 | or we price something higher than competitors, nobody will come to us.

00:23:27.640 | But that's where branding and marketing and sales tools come into play.

00:23:31.520 | And I wish I had the confidence to do that.

00:23:34.560 | And I'll be honest with you, even now, I'm so scared to raise my prices.

00:23:38.400 | I had a client, I do made of honor speech writing,

00:23:40.880 | and I had a client say at the end of working with me,

00:23:43.680 | I just want to let you know you are completely under charging.

00:23:46.600 | You should triple your prices.

00:23:48.560 | And I said to her, wow, I appreciate that feedback.

00:23:50.800 | But inside, I'm a bit of a scaredy cat because that price point's working for me.

00:23:54.840 | I'm getting business.

00:23:55.720 | If I raise it, I might lose business.

00:23:57.760 | So even till this day, it's a confidence issue more than anything else.

00:24:02.160 | And so do you think you're going to raise your prices

00:24:04.560 | now that you've had that feedback?

00:24:06.240 | Absolutely, because not only did a client have to tell me,

00:24:09.240 | but I've had business mentors and just friends tell me that I'm charging too little.

00:24:12.960 | And I think it took the words of a client to make me think, you know what?

00:24:16.440 | I asked her, OK, how much would you pay?

00:24:18.840 | So I think that's good feedback is once you've worked with clients

00:24:21.840 | or you've had people buy your product is to send out a survey and say, hey,

00:24:25.080 | how much would you have paid for this and get their honest advice?

00:24:28.200 | And have you changed your price since?

00:24:31.720 | That's to be honest with you, this phone call was two days ago

00:24:34.800 | and I haven't changed it since, but I'm working on it.

00:24:38.440 | I'm working on it. OK.

00:24:41.000 | That's a good question. I like it.

00:24:42.360 | I need this accountability, Chris. This is good.

00:24:44.600 | Well, why don't you just commit to change the price before the end of the weekend?

00:24:48.720 | I'm going to because I'm launching a new website for Bridesmaid for Hire.

00:24:51.600 | And I'm going to go. I'm going to go do it.

00:24:52.920 | I'm not going to triple it.

00:24:54.120 | I'll be honest with you.

00:24:54.680 | I'm not going to triple it, but I will tack on a couple hundred.

00:24:57.200 | When it comes to marketing,

00:24:58.440 | not everyone will launch a crazy side hustle and go on national television

00:25:02.160 | in a matter of days.

00:25:03.280 | So let's shelve that tactic.

00:25:05.400 | But you've launched a lot of other lines of business side hustles, sources of income.

00:25:11.320 | What advice do you have for people who to just get them out there?

00:25:14.600 | I think number one is you have to think about how to be different.

00:25:17.800 | There's so many people out there who are starting another podcast,

00:25:21.000 | another wedding business, another this, another that.

00:25:23.160 | Your branding, your voice, everything has to be different.

00:25:26.920 | You have to differentiate yourself from all of the noise.

00:25:29.880 | If not, the marketing is going to feel impossible.

00:25:33.120 | So think about how you can do things differently,

00:25:35.440 | how you can do things like nobody else has done them before.

00:25:38.400 | Number two, tap into any resources that are currently

00:25:42.000 | where your audience are spending a ton of time.

00:25:44.800 | There's so many people right now who are so against TikTok

00:25:47.520 | because they think it's for the young people or whatever.

00:25:49.800 | But the truth is, everyone's on TikTok.

00:25:51.760 | TikTok is the fastest growing way that you can blow up right now for free.

00:25:56.160 | Not even spending a penny.

00:25:58.000 | Tap into that.

00:25:59.600 | When we're doing marketing, we all look for a downloadable plan

00:26:03.760 | off the Internet of what we can do to market ourselves.

00:26:06.280 | And that downloadable plan will tell you Instagram, Facebook ads.

00:26:09.920 | None of that is going to work because it's oversaturated

00:26:12.960 | and your growth rate will be very, very low.

00:26:15.360 | Go to the places that are new, that are fresh,

00:26:18.720 | that your audience is spending a lot of time on.

00:26:20.680 | Number two, press is great because it gets the word out there for you for free.

00:26:24.920 | So it's like advertising, but you don't have to pay for it.

00:26:27.440 | How do you do your own press?

00:26:29.040 | There's two free websites that everybody should sign up for

00:26:33.080 | because they're absolutely free and the press comes to you.

00:26:36.280 | What I mean by that is every day

00:26:37.800 | you'll get a list of sources that news reporters need to talk to.

00:26:41.720 | And if you are a source, you'll end up in these articles for free.

00:26:45.480 | One of those websites is called Help A Reporter Out dot com,

00:26:49.200 | and the other is called Quoted, Q-W-O-T-E-D.

00:26:53.120 | The press is coming to you.

00:26:55.280 | So get on those two websites as a source.

00:26:57.960 | Press is great again because it spreads your name.

00:27:00.760 | You don't have to pay for it.

00:27:01.800 | So that's a good marketing channel.

00:27:03.200 | Social media is good

00:27:04.360 | as long as you're not doing social media like everybody else,

00:27:07.320 | because most people are doing it wrong.

00:27:09.200 | And the third way is to create some sort of free value content stream

00:27:13.360 | rather than just be a business, be a brand.

00:27:15.720 | You also have to be a content creator.

00:27:17.720 | So consider a newsletter, consider a podcast, consider a video series,

00:27:21.720 | but make it fresh, make it interesting, make it something

00:27:24.760 | where after the person reads it, watches it or listens to it,

00:27:27.600 | they walk away and go, whoa, I cannot stop thinking about that.

00:27:31.920 | How do you find that idea?

00:27:33.040 | Because I think it's easy to say,

00:27:35.320 | write something that people stop in their tracks when they see.

00:27:38.640 | But, you know, you're a writer.

00:27:40.200 | What what tips do you have for someone who's like, I don't know what that is?

00:27:43.640 | You need to wear the shoes of your audience

00:27:47.240 | because a lot of times we start businesses and brands for people who aren't us

00:27:50.760 | or who were just one of that audience.

00:27:53.080 | So you need to embed yourself with that audience.

00:27:55.280 | Number one, join Facebook groups, Slack channels, Discord groups

00:27:59.080 | where your audience hangs out and virtually stalk them.

00:28:02.160 | Read what they're talking about.

00:28:03.720 | Read how they're saying things.

00:28:05.160 | Read what problems they have.

00:28:06.680 | Get to know them from that level.

00:28:08.520 | And that will really help you feel like you start to understand

00:28:12.040 | who you're marketing to and who you're talking to.

00:28:14.080 | Next, look at all your competitors and what they're doing.

00:28:17.040 | Find the similarities in what they're doing and try to do the opposite,

00:28:20.320 | because you will be surprised how doing the opposite of what they're doing

00:28:24.320 | might give you traction and might impress your audience

00:28:26.880 | in a really unique kind of way.

00:28:29.000 | The third thing to think about is what can you put out there

00:28:33.080 | that is going to let people feel smarter, more inspired and entertained?

00:28:38.240 | All good content has that in there.

00:28:40.720 | So if you're not sure, think number one.

00:28:42.560 | OK, what will my audience need to hear or read

00:28:45.600 | that would let them feel smarter about this topic?

00:28:48.240 | So if you're selling mattresses, OK, what would your audience

00:28:51.440 | need to know about mattresses that would make them feel that way?

00:28:54.080 | What would they need to know that would make them entertained and inspired?

00:28:57.400 | And if we can start to answer these questions, what we're putting out there

00:29:00.320 | will attract the people we want to attract.

00:29:02.640 | That's fantastic.

00:29:03.880 | How did you end up making the decision to take this thing

00:29:07.400 | that you started on a whim on a Friday afternoon and say, OK, I've done this.

00:29:12.360 | I used to think I should do it for free. I'm getting paid.

00:29:14.480 | Now this is my full time business.

00:29:16.480 | This is this is me.

00:29:18.200 | I'm not going to look for a day job.

00:29:19.880 | I'm not going to look for, you know, steady W2 income.

00:29:22.680 | I'm going all in on myself.

00:29:24.520 | I was a bit of a coward, I guess, because I really didn't.

00:29:27.200 | I waited till I was laid off from my full time job.

00:29:29.640 | I'll never forget my boss calling me in and said, we're having a massive layoff

00:29:33.720 | and I'm letting you go first because I don't think you should be here anymore.

00:29:37.200 | And I remember being devastated by that because I love the steady stream of income.

00:29:42.480 | Again, I did my job so quick.

00:29:44.160 | I did it really well.

00:29:45.120 | And I had all the free time in the world and I was getting paid like,

00:29:47.640 | I don't know, $70,000 to do it back then.

00:29:50.080 | So I was so devastated.

00:29:52.120 | And I remember packing my bags and exiting the door.

00:29:54.640 | And as the front door hit me in the behind, I said to myself, Jen,

00:29:58.720 | you are never going to work for somebody else ever again, ever again.

00:30:04.000 | And to make that happen, we will figure out what we have to do to pay our bills.

00:30:08.560 | And I went home and I devised a plan that said, OK,

00:30:12.600 | we're going to take Bridesmaid for Hire to the next level.

00:30:14.760 | We'll figure out what that means.

00:30:16.360 | We're also going to tap into the other little side

00:30:18.680 | hustles that you had sort of done when you worked full time,

00:30:21.640 | like freelance writing and book writing and all of these things.

00:30:25.120 | And we're going to make it work.

00:30:26.400 | We're going to figure it out.

00:30:28.160 | But that was the moment where I said, I can't work for somebody else

00:30:31.240 | because you know what? I'm not a good employee.

00:30:33.080 | I don't want to just do my job. I want to do other things.

00:30:35.480 | And I will never be happy in a corporate environment.

00:30:38.760 | And I made that decision.

00:30:39.960 | And honestly, in full honesty and transparency, it is not easy

00:30:43.440 | because every month I have a certain income goal of what I want to make.

00:30:46.320 | And sometimes you don't hit that and sometimes you do.

00:30:48.960 | And it's very inconsistent and it's hard.

00:30:50.960 | One month, you know, one side hustle or one business is taking off

00:30:54.440 | and the rest are failing.

00:30:55.440 | And during the pandemic, all of them are failing and you start to panic.

00:30:58.320 | So it's definitely a lifestyle where you are on your toes.

00:31:01.440 | And some days you find yourself thinking, huh,

00:31:03.520 | would it be easier just to collect a paycheck?

00:31:05.640 | And I do think that sometimes.

00:31:07.040 | But I just know that my happiness lies in me

00:31:09.640 | being able to run wild and free with these crazy ideas.

00:31:13.120 | When you were deciding Bridesmaids for Hire, let's let's make this a thing.

00:31:17.320 | You mentioned you also looked at, OK, well, let's what about writing?

00:31:20.960 | And books did a part of you say, what if Bridesmaids for Hire

00:31:24.320 | could just be the one thing?

00:31:26.320 | I always thought that Bridesmaids for Hire would never be the only thing

00:31:29.520 | because that would make me happy.

00:31:31.360 | I am somebody who has known from a very early age

00:31:33.800 | that there's two categories of things that I am meant to do.

00:31:36.600 | One of them is right in any capacity.

00:31:38.720 | I've known since I was four years old, I wanted to be a writer.

00:31:41.240 | And the other is speak to inspire.

00:31:43.840 | I've always wanted to be this inspirational speaker.

00:31:46.200 | So when I started Bridesmaids for Hire, I sort of turned

00:31:48.840 | both of those things into the gig.

00:31:50.720 | I wrote made of honor speeches and I spoke and I inspired and I helped people.

00:31:54.320 | But I always knew I had to do other things with those passions.

00:31:57.680 | My other passion was always being able to support people in a way

00:32:01.200 | that they were when they were going through really challenging situations.

00:32:03.920 | That's always been my target.

00:32:05.080 | Audience are people who are not feeling great about their lives

00:32:08.400 | and me being that person that could hopefully pick them up.

00:32:11.240 | So knowing that those are my passions always led me to figure out other things.

00:32:14.960 | But no, I never thought Bridesmaids for Hire would be my only thing

00:32:17.600 | because it wouldn't make me happy.

00:32:19.480 | Two of the side hustles you spun up, probably because of the passions

00:32:22.520 | you just talked about were coaching and speaking.

00:32:24.600 | And I hear a lot of people talk about, you know, I like advising people.

00:32:28.800 | Coaching would be fun.

00:32:30.080 | Some people turn that into a full time gig.

00:32:31.920 | But how did you even get started in those two areas?

00:32:34.840 | And what advice do you have for people who are interested in them?

00:32:37.760 | I remember graduating college with a poetry degree

00:32:41.000 | and people would ask me what I wanted to do next.

00:32:43.040 | And I said, I want to be a motivational speaker.

00:32:45.560 | And so many mentors and people older than me were like, cool,

00:32:49.480 | but you have nothing to speak about.

00:32:50.880 | You're 22. You haven't lived a life.

00:32:53.800 | And I was offended by that because I thought I had lived a life at 22.

00:32:57.680 | But perhaps they were right.

00:32:59.280 | But as I built my career, as I got laid off, as I built Bridesmaids for Hire,

00:33:03.480 | as I wrote books, as I did all of these things,

00:33:05.680 | I felt like I had more life experiences.

00:33:07.840 | And that led to a lot of people knocking on my door and asking for help

00:33:11.480 | and asking for advice and asking how to launch this or that.

00:33:15.200 | And I decided rather than doing these one off free chats

00:33:19.040 | or rather than, you know, speaking and teaching at a school,

00:33:22.280 | why not offer coaching so it can be more personalized?

00:33:25.040 | So I think I got the confidence to offer coaching as a service

00:33:28.720 | once I started to get a steady stream of maybe ten plus people a month

00:33:32.640 | reaching out for some sort of help.

00:33:34.800 | And I got to do more speaking just by figuring out, OK, what was my keynote?

00:33:38.640 | What was I going to bring to the table at all of these conferences?

00:33:41.960 | And a lot of what I spoke about was how to take a crazy idea

00:33:44.960 | and turn it into a side hustle or how to market using no money

00:33:48.120 | or how to do your own PR.

00:33:49.760 | I tapped into all of these skills

00:33:51.520 | that I figured out by starting Bridesmaid for Hire and running with it.

00:33:55.040 | So I guess that person at 22 was right.

00:33:57.360 | I really didn't know what to speak about or coach back then.

00:34:00.160 | But through these experiences, I built the confidence to sort of launch that.

00:34:03.680 | And these are things I still do till the till this day.

00:34:07.280 | And some seasons are busier and some seasons aren't.

00:34:10.280 | And that's the cool thing about juggling multiple streams of income,

00:34:13.320 | multiple side hustles, is that some seasons you'll run with three

00:34:16.720 | out of seven of them and then the other season that will change.

00:34:19.440 | That's both stressful and exciting.

00:34:22.000 | And that summarizes, I really believe, my personal life and journey

00:34:25.560 | as an entrepreneur.

00:34:26.520 | Before I do any interview, I like to go find an episode of a podcast

00:34:30.680 | where someone's been interviewed and just kind of get a sense of their vibe.

00:34:34.240 | And I saw a bunch of you on one show and I was like, gosh,

00:34:37.560 | why is she going on the James Altucher show so many times?

00:34:40.720 | And so I looked and you started this coaching series

00:34:43.560 | where you kind of publicly were being coached.

00:34:46.200 | And it was called Make You a Millionaire.

00:34:47.880 | And in the first episode, I only listen to the first one so far.

00:34:50.840 | You know, the goal was in six to 12 months, you were going to go through

00:34:54.200 | this coaching series and, you know, build your business up.

00:34:57.760 | How has that gone? What have you learned?

00:34:59.960 | I've been a fan of James Altucher for so many years.

00:35:04.480 | I've loved his style.

00:35:06.200 | I saw somewhere that he had posted he was taking on these mentorees

00:35:10.000 | for his podcast, and I wrote an email, I reached out.

00:35:12.440 | I never thought I'd hear back from him.

00:35:14.080 | I got an email within a couple of minutes being accepted to the show.

00:35:17.080 | We filmed the next day.

00:35:19.160 | I opened up my entire life on that episode.

00:35:21.400 | And I remember thinking, what did I just do?

00:35:24.320 | I was so nervous because I figured a huge audience of people would hear it.

00:35:28.800 | I was so vulnerable in a way I had never been before.

00:35:31.680 | And frankly, I was quite terrified.

00:35:33.800 | Not only that, but if you know James, you know that he has a lot of ideas,

00:35:37.680 | big ideas, scary ideas, things I've never done before.

00:35:40.520 | And I wanted to do everything that he said because I really did view him

00:35:44.640 | as that mentor.

00:35:46.000 | So he threw me into a world where I was already doing so much.

00:35:49.680 | And now he gave me five other things to start to do.

00:35:52.640 | He had me start two newsletters, a product, all of these things.

00:35:56.880 | And it was a complete game changer.

00:35:59.760 | Did I make a million dollars from any of it?

00:36:02.320 | No. Am I close to that? No.

00:36:04.600 | But what it did help me figure out is other places and other things

00:36:09.760 | to tap into that I normally never, ever would have thought to do

00:36:13.240 | or would have thought about.

00:36:15.440 | I'm somebody who for the past seven years, I've been my own boss.

00:36:18.600 | I'm a team of one.

00:36:19.960 | I am the brainpower of everything I do.

00:36:22.480 | And sometimes that's not enough or that's stale.

00:36:25.240 | But listening to somebody say, hey, do this, do this, do this, do this

00:36:28.920 | got me out of a funk and forced me into all of these different worlds

00:36:32.360 | that taught me something new.

00:36:33.720 | I learned how to use Substack.

00:36:35.200 | I launched a product on Kickstarter.

00:36:37.560 | I created a card game, something I'd wanted to do, but had no idea what to do.

00:36:41.440 | I created a website where people can be human billboards.

00:36:44.360 | Like I just did everything.

00:36:46.400 | And I felt like I had no risk because I almost felt like

00:36:49.320 | I was doing these things to show him.

00:36:51.720 | And it was almost like a fun experiment.

00:36:53.560 | So I felt risk free.

00:36:55.160 | Whereas in my own life, taking those risks is harder

00:36:57.960 | because I'm always so worried about making money.

00:36:59.800 | So I start to sort of put those risks aside

00:37:02.960 | and focus on things that are going to make me money.

00:37:05.040 | But working with him on this podcast and this experiment

00:37:07.840 | forced me to try new things that I hadn't done in a while.

00:37:10.840 | I want to ask about a few of them, because, you know, Kickstart

00:37:14.800 | is a great example.

00:37:16.280 | You know, everyone listening has probably found some interesting project there.

00:37:19.680 | What would you say about that experience?

00:37:21.600 | If someone has an interesting idea of something to build, would you?

00:37:24.760 | Was that a good, positive experience?

00:37:27.000 | I really liked the Kickstarter platform in the sense of

00:37:30.000 | it gives you a great landing page.

00:37:31.640 | You can film a video about your product.

00:37:33.480 | You could offer different tiers.

00:37:35.000 | And it's a great place to send people to to hopefully invest in your product.

00:37:39.120 | And if you reach the goal, you have the product will get made

00:37:42.120 | and they'll get the product they bought.

00:37:44.040 | And if you don't, they get their money back.

00:37:45.560 | So it's a little bit risk free for your audience.

00:37:47.840 | However, what I am learning about everything in life

00:37:51.480 | is just because you're on a website like Kickstarter or you're on a website,

00:37:55.080 | you know, like another type of website like that,

00:37:57.360 | it doesn't mean you're going to get organic traffic.

00:37:59.680 | So you still have to market no matter what you start in this world,

00:38:03.760 | whether you release a podcast, a book, a product, a business.

00:38:06.400 | Having a marketing, having marketing skills is so essential.

00:38:10.800 | So the Kickstarter was great for a lot of those resources.

00:38:13.840 | But I still had to do a ton of hands on marketing.

00:38:17.080 | I still had to think about how am I going to make this go viral?

00:38:19.520 | I still had to figure out how to post this on Instagram

00:38:22.160 | or talk about on the podcast or get people to share it in order to get people

00:38:26.040 | to that page that was all me and not so much Kickstarter.

00:38:28.920 | And I think a lot of people think if you have a Kickstarter page,

00:38:31.760 | that Kickstarter will send you traffic.

00:38:33.800 | And that could be true, especially if you have a very viral idea

00:38:36.760 | or a really awesome video that could happen.

00:38:38.880 | But for me, it required a lot of marketing.

00:38:41.640 | I liked it because it gave me the confidence to produce a product

00:38:45.200 | that I was very, very scared to release.

00:38:47.520 | It also gave me the funds to go off

00:38:49.560 | and release it without having to tap into my own money.

00:38:52.200 | So there were a lot of benefits to releasing something on Kickstarter.

00:38:55.360 | Also, all I needed was a proof of concept as I got the Kickstarter up and running.

00:38:59.880 | That's when I designed the card deck.

00:39:01.560 | That's when I wrote the cards.

00:39:02.840 | That's when I figured out how to produce it.

00:39:04.440 | So it gave me some lead time to actually put it out there in the world.

00:39:07.640 | And it's out there like you hit your goal and that people can buy the cards.

00:39:11.920 | I doubled the goal.

00:39:13.200 | I funded it 200 percent, which was cool.

00:39:16.480 | And I've released the card game.

00:39:17.960 | I'm practically sold out with the first release of it.

00:39:20.800 | I'm reordering it right now.

00:39:23.000 | It's been an amazing, amazing thing to do

00:39:25.400 | because I've always wanted to create a physical product.

00:39:28.560 | My entire career has been services or books or nothing like a product of my own.

00:39:33.920 | And creating this card deck was the first one that I've done.

00:39:36.640 | And it's a cool learning experience.

00:39:38.240 | I'm learning how to sell on Amazon.

00:39:39.640 | I'm learning how to talk to retailers and get it there.

00:39:42.880 | I'm learning about e-commerce.

00:39:44.280 | Like I'm learning about all of these things that I've always wanted to learn,

00:39:47.200 | but I didn't have an excuse to.

00:39:48.600 | And that was the cool part about working with James is he gave me an excuse

00:39:51.440 | to learn different softwares and platforms and put out different ideas out there

00:39:55.920 | that I think I would have been too scared to do.

00:39:57.640 | You know, if you're a person who wants to start a side hustle

00:40:00.240 | or you want to go out on your own and be an entrepreneur,

00:40:02.680 | people always talk about the importance of having mentors and people to turn to.

00:40:06.920 | And I never really had any of that.

00:40:09.200 | But you get to points in your career where it's so essential

00:40:12.800 | because your brain can only take you so far

00:40:15.840 | and feeding off of the ideas of people you trust,

00:40:18.560 | whether they're in your industry or not, can really help

00:40:21.760 | you get out of a certain place where your brain is locked.

00:40:24.600 | I've been fortunate to have mentors throughout my career,

00:40:28.880 | but oftentimes they're not necessarily people that you might think are mentors.

00:40:32.720 | Like one of my closest friends is a mentor for a certain area of my life.

00:40:37.520 | And I would say don't always write off who could be a mentor,

00:40:41.320 | because sometimes what you need is just someone with a different perspective.

00:40:44.120 | And that doesn't need to always be someone who's done it a thousand times.

00:40:47.600 | You know, it could just be someone you whose opinion you respect.

00:40:51.280 | And oftentimes, I personally think the most valuable

00:40:55.160 | trait of a mentor is that you respect their opinion,

00:40:58.120 | because if you don't respect their opinion, a lot of their feedback

00:41:01.720 | isn't going to be taken to heart.

00:41:03.280 | And if you're not going to take the feedback,

00:41:05.240 | then the relationship doesn't always work.

00:41:07.600 | I like how you said for you have a mentor for a certain part of your life.

00:41:11.120 | And I find that to be true.

00:41:12.360 | My first my true first ever mentor, and I write about this in my book,

00:41:15.600 | was an 86 year old man that I met on the Internet

00:41:19.160 | because I Googled free business help and I found this guy met him at a library.

00:41:23.480 | He's an 86 year old man.

00:41:24.680 | He didn't even know what a bridesmaid was.

00:41:27.040 | And I realized I went back to him every single Saturday for two years.

00:41:32.080 | I realized I wasn't going to him for business advice

00:41:34.720 | because frankly, he wasn't giving me that.

00:41:37.160 | But he was mentoring me and had to be tough.

00:41:39.440 | And he was mentoring me and how to have mental strength and resilience

00:41:42.520 | and how to stand up for myself

00:41:43.800 | and how to have really tough conversations in the business world.

00:41:46.800 | And I was going to him for different reasons.

00:41:49.400 | I thought I was going to him for how to scale a business and write a business plan.

00:41:52.800 | But truthfully, what I got out of him was something I never knew I needed.

00:41:56.600 | But during that time got me through that.

00:41:58.640 | And I think it's the same thing with James.

00:42:00.560 | Like I started the podcast with him because I needed business advice.

00:42:03.360 | But really, what he taught me is how to have fun, how to have experiments,

00:42:06.600 | how to think outside of the box, like things I was greatly missing in my life.

00:42:10.280 | So you're right.

00:42:11.560 | Don't write off people.

00:42:12.520 | And sometimes find a mentor who knows nothing about your industry,

00:42:16.120 | nothing about what you're doing, because you might take so much from them

00:42:20.240 | that somebody who's a seasoned vet and what you're doing

00:42:23.000 | might pass over and not even know to tell you.

00:42:25.280 | So what were the lessons

00:42:28.080 | from this man about grit and resilience that made that possible?

00:42:31.200 | I found that, you know, early on when I started Bridesmaid for Hire,

00:42:35.360 | I was in all of these different negotiations and business contract meetings.

00:42:39.480 | And I was trying to pitch a TV show.

00:42:41.160 | And I was so scared to stand up for what I wanted.

00:42:44.000 | And I remember we would do a lot of role playing.

00:42:46.880 | And one time he got out his keys and he said to me,

00:42:51.000 | if you're ever in a negotiation

00:42:52.840 | and they don't like what you're bringing to the table or they say no to you,

00:42:56.360 | you just drop your keys and you say to them basically like, that's my final offer.

00:43:00.360 | If you decline it, I'm picking up these keys and I'm never speaking to you again.

00:43:03.920 | I mean, this was a really tough guy, and maybe some of his advice

00:43:06.560 | wasn't like so perfect, but it really toughened me up.

00:43:10.320 | And it showed me that I need to figure out how to push my scaredness away

00:43:15.600 | and my fear away and step up to these conversations like I've been there before.

00:43:20.080 | And like I know how much value I'm bringing.

00:43:22.840 | I'm somebody who you might not realize this from hearing me on podcasts,

00:43:26.760 | but I'm really shy, like in real life.

00:43:29.040 | I'm really, really shy.

00:43:30.760 | So when I found myself in a lot of these business conversations,

00:43:33.440 | I had imposter syndrome.

00:43:34.800 | I was just shy.

00:43:35.880 | I didn't think I was good enough.

00:43:37.240 | And this guy, I think, really toughened me up.

00:43:40.280 | And through role playing, he would fix my language.

00:43:42.960 | He would fix my body language.

00:43:44.480 | And he would really just teach me how to bring myself there

00:43:47.760 | in a room, sometimes the people who scared me like crazy.

00:43:51.520 | And it's really made me, I swear to you, till this day,

00:43:54.200 | I could walk in a room of anybody, the most famous person in the world.

00:43:57.840 | And I won't let it faze me.

00:43:59.000 | You would never know that I'm scared.

00:44:01.080 | He's taught me how to not be intimidated, which is something really

00:44:03.840 | that was really hard for me to learn as a person who's just naturally really shy.

00:44:07.440 | Everybody intimidates me always.

00:44:09.600 | So what would you do if you were walking in to a room to meet the president?

00:44:14.520 | Is there something you would do in advance to prepare

00:44:17.080 | to kind of prepare? Yeah.

00:44:20.680 | I always do my body language warm up.

00:44:22.600 | So I always make sure that I drink a lot of water.

00:44:25.160 | But I also remember I always tell myself, OK, keep your shoulders back

00:44:28.040 | because the more your shoulders are back, the more you open your chest up,

00:44:30.880 | the more you can breathe and the more you show confidence.

00:44:33.160 | I always remember to keep my hands controlled

00:44:35.600 | because that shows that you are controlled.

00:44:37.720 | So I'll keep my hands either at my belly button or by my waist.

00:44:41.040 | And sometimes I'll hold my hands together.

00:44:43.400 | And then the final thing is because you can learn about how anybody feels about you

00:44:46.960 | based on where their chin is.

00:44:48.480 | If someone's chin is down, they're completely terrified by you.

00:44:51.200 | They're intimidated by you.

00:44:52.520 | If their chin is up, you find this air of confidence.

00:44:55.640 | So I'll walk in the room, shoulders back, my chin up, my hands controlled.

00:44:59.200 | I won't be shaking my body side to side.

00:45:01.280 | I'll be relatively still.

00:45:02.760 | I'll look the person in the eye and I won't show any kind of extreme emotion.

00:45:07.960 | I'm somebody in real life where I'm very enthusiastic.

00:45:11.360 | But when I meet somebody who I'm intimidated by, I'll tone that down.

00:45:14.760 | And and I won't show that enthusiasm.

00:45:17.160 | And why that is, is because I want them to know that I came there

00:45:20.600 | with a serious reason or I came there for a serious type of conversation.

00:45:24.800 | So I'll really play into that, too.

00:45:26.840 | So I'm going to take a little bit of a turn.

00:45:28.600 | I saw on Instagram you applied to be a host on QVC,

00:45:32.120 | which is wildly different than everything else you've done.

00:45:35.680 | Other than maybe sell, you know, you were selling your your card game online.

00:45:39.160 | What what's the story behind that?

00:45:41.640 | My whole life, people have told me I should be a QVC host,

00:45:46.040 | and I know this goes against everything I just said about being shy,

00:45:49.040 | but I'm also really good when the camera turns on.

00:45:51.240 | So I've done a lot of TV thanks to Bridesmaids for Hire.

00:45:53.840 | And when that camera goes on, I'm a different person.

00:45:56.080 | My mom will say to you, she doesn't recognize me because I completely light up.

00:46:00.080 | I love TV. I love that spotlight. I love it.

00:46:03.600 | So my whole life, people have told me that I would do really well on QVC

00:46:07.440 | because if I genuinely like something,

00:46:10.680 | I am so passionate about it and convincing.

00:46:13.640 | If I genuinely liked this water that I'm drinking,

00:46:17.400 | I would bring such passion to it that you would say, you know what, Jen,

00:46:20.440 | I'm going to give it a try because you really do seem to adore it.

00:46:23.960 | I've always been that way. I'm so passionate.

00:46:26.000 | So my whole life, people have mentioned QVC, mentioned that I should be a host.

00:46:30.200 | And I was on Instagram one day and I saw this casting director post about it.

00:46:34.080 | And I was like, you know what?

00:46:35.440 | What will it take for me to try out?

00:46:37.680 | Literally five minutes, record a five minute video.

00:46:40.480 | So I did my hair. I put on some makeup.

00:46:42.280 | I recorded a five minute video on my camera, on my phone camera,

00:46:46.160 | and I sent it to them and they liked it.

00:46:48.720 | I moved to the next round.

00:46:49.960 | I ended up doing like a Zoom live interview with them.

00:46:53.200 | And that was all it took to try out for QVC.

00:46:56.760 | Now, ultimately, spoiler alert, I did not get hired,

00:47:00.640 | but it was something that I always wanted to try.

00:47:03.600 | And it took me nothing, five minutes of my life to initially try out

00:47:08.040 | rather than sitting there and thinking about, should I, should I, should I?

00:47:11.600 | If I get it, my whole life would have to change.

00:47:13.760 | I have to move to Pennsylvania. I have to do all these things.

00:47:16.480 | I'm the kind of person who has always treated life, business, relationships,

00:47:20.680 | anything like this, don't overthink it, just try, just start.

00:47:24.200 | And then after you start, after you have a little bit of skin in the game,

00:47:27.680 | then figure out what the heck is going on.

00:47:29.640 | With Bridesmaid for Hire, I didn't have a business plan.

00:47:31.840 | I didn't have anything.

00:47:33.000 | I put the ad out there. I figured it out.

00:47:35.000 | And that's how I am with every single thing I do.

00:47:38.200 | I do not overthink it.

00:47:39.560 | I just put it out there and then I figure it out.

00:47:42.560 | And what would you tell someone if you were coaching them who's like,

00:47:46.280 | I'm not good at that, like I'm sitting here overthinking everything.

00:47:50.640 | Is there is there a trick?

00:47:53.040 | I would pick one thing tomorrow.

00:47:54.520 | What's one decision?

00:47:55.520 | What's one thing you have to do tomorrow and give yourself five seconds,

00:47:58.440 | seconds, give yourself five seconds to make a decision and go.

00:48:01.360 | If you're somebody who is overthinking what color shirt to wear,

00:48:04.160 | count one, two, three, four, five, grab something and wear it.

00:48:06.720 | And then you deal with the consequences of that for the day.

00:48:09.880 | And if you start to become a person like that, you'll start to realize, OK,

00:48:13.160 | I'm not going to overthink decisions.

00:48:14.600 | I'm going to make one and then deal with the consequences.

00:48:17.400 | I do this with everything in life.

00:48:19.280 | And let me tell you, 90% of the things are not successful.

00:48:22.080 | You haven't heard about them because they haven't taken off. Right.

00:48:24.640 | But there's occasional thing here and there that ends up working out for you.

00:48:27.920 | And I think that's how it has to be how I met my husband.

00:48:30.880 | I like sharing this story because, again, it was a weird experiment.

00:48:34.040 | It wasn't something I overthought.

00:48:35.680 | I was horrible at dating. I was so awkward. I'm so shy.

00:48:38.520 | I said, you know what, for the whole month of February,

00:48:40.800 | you're going to go on 14 dates that month.

00:48:42.720 | I would go on four dates a day.

00:48:44.280 | I didn't overthink it. Anybody who asked me out, I said, sure.

00:48:47.760 | Well, me, what's what's the big deal?

00:48:49.480 | I didn't overthink it.

00:48:50.440 | I became so good at dating.

00:48:52.440 | I met nobody I wanted to ever see again.

00:48:54.920 | I go to delete the dating app and he was my final message.

00:48:57.960 | He was date 15.

00:48:59.360 | Now, I could have overthought that experiment or I could have just said,

00:49:02.320 | you know what, I'm going to go on these 14 dates and we'll see what happens.

00:49:05.560 | So I've tried to really be this kind of person with everything in life.

00:49:09.040 | And if you're not that kind of person, that's OK.

00:49:10.840 | You're not going to wake up tomorrow and do something drastic,

00:49:12.960 | but try it with a tiny, tiny, tiny, small decision

00:49:16.600 | and then see how you feel after.

00:49:18.640 | Before we wrap, I want to come back to the topic of weddings

00:49:21.760 | because we're on the we're almost on the other side of this pandemic, right?

00:49:25.880 | People have canceled weddings.

00:49:28.160 | What advice do you have for anyone planning a wedding coming up?

00:49:31.040 | Or maybe better said, what do you think, having gone to so many?

00:49:34.800 | There's three things that people care about at your wedding,

00:49:37.200 | and they don't care about anything but the three things.

00:49:39.440 | Number one is the music.

00:49:41.400 | It doesn't matter if you have a DJ or live music,

00:49:43.880 | but you want to have music that gets people up and dancing.

00:49:47.560 | You really want to make sure that the music is good

00:49:49.840 | because that makes people have a good time and they'll never, ever forget that.

00:49:53.720 | You could always remember the weddings where you found yourself smiling

00:49:57.200 | and laughing and just having a good time.

00:49:58.840 | And usually music helps make that happen.

00:50:01.120 | Number two, people love food.

00:50:03.600 | So good food will make your wedding phenomenal.

00:50:06.720 | And here's the thing.

00:50:07.640 | You don't have to go with a traditional wedding caterer.

00:50:09.640 | You don't have to have steak and fish and chicken.

00:50:12.080 | You can have whatever kind of foods you want, make it unique, make it about you.

00:50:15.680 | Go to local restaurants, have food trucks, have food there

00:50:19.400 | that you genuinely would be excited to eat,

00:50:22.040 | because usually that wedding food goes in the trash.

00:50:24.560 | You don't even want to eat it.

00:50:25.920 | And number three is some sort of open bar or alcohol.

00:50:29.120 | People love their drinks and having that just makes them happy.

00:50:31.960 | I don't personally care about number three at weddings.

00:50:34.240 | So I'll give you one more thing that really matters is the weather.

00:50:37.400 | You know, the weather can really affect your wedding.

00:50:39.680 | So if you're having some sort of outdoor experience or wedding,

00:50:42.400 | make sure you always have an indoor rain backup plan

00:50:45.080 | because your guests don't want to feel uncomfortable in any sort of way.

00:50:48.600 | My number one tip for people getting married,

00:50:51.160 | and I beg you to listen to me on this, is please do not go into debt

00:50:55.760 | with your wedding.

00:50:56.800 | Yes, it's a big celebration and it's super important,

00:50:59.160 | but it is never worth going into debt.

00:51:01.360 | If you don't have the cash to pay for your wedding,

00:51:03.480 | try to plan a wedding where it fits the cash that you have.

00:51:06.360 | Try not to go into credit card debt or any type of debt for your wedding.

00:51:09.640 | The best way to do that is to set a budget before you start planning.

00:51:13.600 | Come up with an overall number for how much you can spend.

00:51:16.400 | It doesn't matter if it's 5000, 15 or 100000, pick the number first

00:51:21.080 | and then break down how much you can spend per vendor.

00:51:24.080 | The best way to figure that out is to pick the top three things

00:51:27.560 | you care about for your wedding and then spend the most money there.

00:51:30.760 | And everything else you'll find budgeted ways to pay for.

00:51:33.920 | But please, your wedding is special.

00:51:35.960 | It's important. It is great.

00:51:37.520 | But you will never meet a couple who says, Yeah, I'm glad I went into a ton

00:51:40.720 | of debt and started the marriage off in debt because of the wedding.

00:51:44.080 | Most people, after they get married, say it was great.

00:51:47.520 | But if I could do it again, I wouldn't spend that much money.

00:51:51.000 | I'm going to push back on all three music.

00:51:54.240 | Do you have no, no, no, not not push back.

00:51:56.920 | But sorry, let me say that again.

00:51:58.680 | I'm going to drill down on all three and try to get more out of you.

00:52:02.000 | Good music.

00:52:04.440 | Do you publish your playlist like you?

00:52:05.840 | I'm sure you've had to be the one that picks the playlist.

00:52:07.840 | Is there a Spotify playlist of what you think makes for a good dancing

00:52:11.520 | or a good vibe that you share?

00:52:13.880 | It's hard because no one ever wants to listen to my music.

00:52:16.840 | But I would play Kesha and Chainsmokers, and I would play like these like hits

00:52:21.720 | that if you were in like a Vegas nightclub, you would play right

00:52:24.760 | because you want people to have fun and get up and dance.

00:52:27.200 | What I think doesn't work well at weddings are the standard playlist.

00:52:31.400 | Don't play Bruno Mars.

00:52:33.200 | Don't play Ed Sheeran.

00:52:34.960 | Don't play these songs that you hear again and again and again

00:52:37.880 | because people are so bored.

00:52:39.640 | We just went to a wedding this weekend and the music was so slow

00:52:44.320 | that people were on the dance floor and they were like,

00:52:46.520 | wait, what do we do with our bodies to this music?

00:52:48.840 | So I know that you want to have like your favorite songs and stuff,

00:52:51.440 | but also have things that like put people in good moods.

00:52:53.880 | And I can tell you all day what to play.

00:52:56.760 | But of course, you know, pick songs that you also like

00:52:59.400 | and you enjoy because it is your wedding, but you want to have some good hits as well.

00:53:03.400 | What about finding something that works with, you know,

00:53:06.680 | the old people in the room as well?

00:53:08.720 | I think, yeah, you want to throw in some songs that they would like.

00:53:11.480 | But truthfully, they are the kind of people who are so happy to be at your wedding

00:53:15.000 | that they're going to dance to Kesha or the Chainsmokers,

00:53:17.160 | even if they don't know the song, they're going to have a good time.

00:53:19.480 | I think we're always like, oh, I got to play some hits that like my aunt,

00:53:22.480 | my great aunt's going to like.

00:53:23.960 | But truthfully, your great aunt is going to like anything you play

00:53:26.640 | and is going to be so happy to dance.

00:53:28.760 | We spend so much time and money accommodating everyone that's coming to our wedding.

00:53:33.600 | But the truth is, we cannot make everybody happy.

00:53:35.680 | So in general, try to think about how you can make everyone happy as a whole.

00:53:39.320 | OK, on food, what are some of the most memorable food options you've had?

00:53:44.640 | I'll share mine because it was my own wedding, so that was easy.

00:53:47.280 | But we decided we didn't want a seated, plated meals.

00:53:51.000 | So we just picked three countries we'd been to where we love the food.

00:53:54.400 | And then we just served like in paper little baskets.

00:53:58.120 | I think one was like sliders and and sweet potato fries.

00:54:02.400 | One was Thai curry.

00:54:03.880 | And then we had like some sushi rolls or like we did chocolate chip cookies

00:54:07.800 | for dessert because we didn't really care about cake.

00:54:09.920 | So we tried to do small plates that represent countries we'd been to.

00:54:13.400 | But I'm curious what stood out in a memorable food way.

00:54:17.400 | And that's epic because you know what?

00:54:19.560 | People are never going to forget that.

00:54:21.040 | And it meant something to you.

00:54:22.320 | It was good food, obviously.

00:54:25.120 | And we talked about this before.

00:54:26.320 | I love pizza and I just went to a wedding that was all pizza.

00:54:30.600 | And not only that, but at the end of the wedding,

00:54:33.240 | all of the leftover pizza that nobody ate, they had on a table with to go boxes

00:54:37.760 | that you can take home with you.

00:54:39.440 | I was like, this is the best wedding ever.

00:54:41.880 | But if you don't like pizza, that's OK.

00:54:43.920 | But you know exactly what you did, Chris, like normal food

00:54:46.320 | that people would be excited to eat any other time.

00:54:48.680 | I think we're also we're also forced to think

00:54:52.000 | that we need to have this traditional wedding with all this fancy food.

00:54:55.080 | But the truth is, most of your guests just want the Thai food

00:54:57.880 | or the hamburger sliders or they want slices of pizza

00:55:00.880 | or they want macaroni and cheese.

00:55:02.720 | And especially if it's because it means something to you, they'll be happy as well.

00:55:06.640 | I love a wedding where the food is different, but also the food

00:55:10.840 | is something that means something to the couple.

00:55:12.720 | And I especially love a wedding where they go heavy on the desserts

00:55:16.600 | because I'm a big dessert person personally.

00:55:19.040 | So I love a good dessert at a wedding that's not wedding cake.

00:55:22.040 | OK, and then the last this is something we struggled with.

00:55:25.000 | So for drinks, do you think open bar?

00:55:28.360 | Do you think just pick two cocktails?

00:55:30.280 | What what do you think works best?

00:55:31.960 | It's funny because I'm not a drinker at all.

00:55:33.800 | I am like a water, seltzer, root beer, float drinker.

00:55:36.440 | But I know a lot of people at weddings will say this, that if possible,

00:55:41.640 | and if this works for your budget and your finances, a type of open bar

00:55:45.120 | is usually best.

00:55:46.120 | And even if that means, by the way, it's open bar for an hour, that's OK.

00:55:49.240 | But if that is something you can afford, that might be something to lean into

00:55:52.880 | because a lot of people do enjoy drinking.

00:55:55.160 | But you're absolutely right.

00:55:56.520 | It doesn't need to be this extravagant open bar.

00:55:58.960 | You can do just a couple of beers or wines or you can do,

00:56:02.520 | you know, liquor that's not top shelf, like you can do a signature cocktail

00:56:06.120 | and then have like just beer and wine.

00:56:07.680 | So you don't have to have an extensive open bar.

00:56:11.040 | But I do think offering alcohol for your guests is something

00:56:15.040 | that they do appreciate if they have to pay for it, they will.

00:56:18.120 | But if that's something you can budget for, I think that's a good gift

00:56:21.320 | that a lot of your guests appreciate, which is hard for me to say

00:56:23.800 | because I'm not a drinker, but I know a lot of people do care about that.

00:56:27.040 | And from the perspective of the couple, since you have the inside

00:56:31.800 | ear to the bride, usually what is something that someone going to a wedding

00:56:36.040 | can do to, you know, be a memorable guest in a non embarrassing way?

00:56:41.280 | I think going along for the party and being enthusiastic

00:56:46.680 | during the ceremony, not having your phone out, recording everything,

00:56:49.960 | and instead just making eye contact with the couple or with the officiant.

00:56:53.640 | And when they walk down the aisle, you know, smiling at them

00:56:56.240 | and just being supportive with your body language.

00:56:58.600 | And during the wedding, you know, most couples who have a dance floor,

00:57:01.640 | they really want their guests to be on it.

00:57:04.040 | So even if you're not a big dancer or you're a little bit shy,

00:57:06.760 | just crowding around the dance floor, at least having your conversations

00:57:09.680 | on the dance floor.

00:57:10.440 | A lot of people are so stressed about is this going to be fun?

00:57:13.320 | Are people going to dance?

00:57:14.320 | So if you can sort of get near the dance floor, you make a lot of people happy.

00:57:18.080 | Try to also if you can be like a superstar guest,

00:57:21.680 | try to be that guest that sits down at their table

00:57:24.160 | and makes genuine connections with everybody there.

00:57:26.840 | Tables at weddings are really awkward.

00:57:28.920 | You're sitting with people you don't know.

00:57:30.640 | And if you could be that person that bridges that gap, that relationship,

00:57:33.680 | you make the couple happy because then they feel like everyone at their wedding

00:57:36.960 | had a good time, met new people, and it wasn't awkward.

00:57:40.200 | Yeah, I can't remember the exact person, but I remember after our wedding,

00:57:43.880 | there was one person that all of like my aunts and uncles

00:57:47.160 | and grandparents were like, "Oh, they were such a great person."

00:57:50.080 | It was like, you know, that guest.

00:57:51.400 | So maybe I'm both saying it was memorable and not because I can't remember

00:57:54.800 | who it was. Yeah.

00:57:57.320 | But be that guest, be that person. Be that guest.

00:57:59.720 | What about last one is I know you help people write a lot of speeches.

00:58:04.240 | So obviously, if you're stuck, you have a service for it.

00:58:06.920 | But what advice do you have to someone delivering a speech

00:58:09.960 | at a wedding to kind of nail it?

00:58:12.360 | Practice public speaking beforehand.

00:58:14.960 | But really, what I mean by that is break down your speech in such a way

00:58:18.760 | where every three sentences you are forcing a two second pause.

00:58:22.320 | So the three two rule, every three seconds, pause for two seconds.

00:58:25.880 | That will slow you down.

00:58:27.280 | That will allow your audience to hear what you're saying.

00:58:29.800 | And that will let your jokes land and make them funny.

00:58:32.560 | Oftentimes, when people are nervous as speakers, they go too fast

00:58:35.760 | and nobody can hear what they have to say.

00:58:37.880 | The best length for a speech is about the three to four minute mark.

00:58:41.160 | You don't need to go over that.

00:58:42.480 | If you want to share more, write it down and hand it to the couple to read later.

00:58:46.080 | But they will really respect a three to four minute speech.

00:58:49.120 | And when you're writing the speech, remember, you're not writing it

00:58:52.560 | for the couple.

00:58:53.320 | This is something that I think people don't realize.

00:58:55.320 | You're actually writing the speech for the entire wedding.

00:58:58.320 | So what you're really trying to do is prove the relationship

00:59:01.600 | you have with that person who you're good friends with

00:59:04.040 | and the person they're marrying to the entire audience.

00:59:06.720 | So skip out on inside jokes or these long, detailed stories

00:59:10.640 | that will take an audience forever to understand and write the speech

00:59:14.280 | for the audience who is learning about the relationships that you have.

00:59:17.800 | That's what makes for such a good speech.

00:59:20.320 | Anything else I miss the advice for anyone going to or planning a wedding?

00:59:24.760 | If you're a bridesmaid or a groomsman in a wedding,

00:59:28.040 | the only thing I'll tell you is, please, please, please understand

00:59:31.160 | that you're allowed to say no.

00:59:33.080 | We often think that if we take on that role, we have to say yes to everything.

00:59:36.560 | But if there's something you can't afford, you don't want to do

00:59:39.040 | or you don't have time for it, make sure you say no.

00:59:42.120 | How do you say no?

00:59:43.520 | You simply say, hey, thanks so much for asking me to do that.

00:59:46.120 | But at this time, that's just not something that I can swing.

00:59:48.520 | Happy to help in other ways.

00:59:50.240 | Keep it easy. Keep it friendly.

00:59:52.240 | But make sure you stand up for yourself and say no.

00:59:54.360 | Last area I'd like to ask everyone is to pick a city often where they live,

01:00:00.280 | but sometimes your favorite city to visit and tell anyone coming to that city

01:00:05.080 | where they should have a meal, grab a drink and something unusual to do.

01:00:09.200 | I would love for you to come visit us in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York.

01:00:13.280 | It's a small town, a small neighborhood in Brooklyn, right outside of Manhattan.

01:00:16.960 | When you get here, you're going to get off the subway on Bedford Avenue.

01:00:20.240 | You're going to walk to Joe's Pizza.

01:00:22.520 | It's a famous pizza place all over New York.

01:00:24.520 | You're going to get a slice of cheese pizza and you're going to get it

01:00:28.200 | on a paper plate and you are going to walk with that pizza to the East River.

01:00:32.600 | Once you get to the park down there, you're going to be able

01:00:34.600 | to see the Manhattan skyline.

01:00:36.120 | There's lots of places you can sit and drink and eat right there

01:00:38.960 | and have a really, really good time.

01:00:41.240 | One of the cool parts about this neighborhood is all of the fun vintage shops,

01:00:44.640 | but you can shop all day bookstores you can go to.

01:00:47.560 | And there's tons of music venues.

01:00:49.960 | I think that there's lots of cities in the world with great music,

01:00:52.960 | but there is something so cool about the music in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

01:00:56.560 | I'm proud to live here.

01:00:58.240 | Awesome. Thank you so much for being here.

01:01:00.560 | This has been great.

01:01:01.560 | Where can people find everything you're doing online?

01:01:04.960 | Because there is a lot.

01:01:05.840 | You can check out my website, Jen Glantz dot com.

01:01:09.040 | You can follow me on Instagram at Jen Glantz, where I share personal stories,

01:01:12.960 | secrets of behind the scenes of my life or because you're listening

01:01:16.400 | to a podcast right now, you can search for you're not getting any younger.

01:01:19.680 | It's my podcast where I share how you can disrupt your life,

01:01:22.360 | whether it's health, business relationships.

01:01:24.400 | And you can check out Chris because I just interviewed him.

01:01:27.800 | The episode is live.

01:01:29.080 | Chris shares stories he has never shared before,

01:01:31.640 | and he gives you his favorite top three hacks on the show.

01:01:35.160 | So check it out.

01:01:35.920 | Totally. That episode was great.

01:01:38.400 | Thank you so much for being here.

01:01:40.400 | Thanks for having me.

01:01:41.400 | [MUSIC]

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