I Sought a Prostitute — Am I Doomed?
00:00:00.000 | (upbeat music)
00:00:02.580 | - Hello everyone, welcome back to the podcast.
00:00:06.880 | I know many of you listen through the car radio
00:00:10.200 | or through a podcast app on your car speakers
00:00:12.560 | with young kids in tow,
00:00:14.840 | and you're not always able to see the episode titles.
00:00:17.860 | Just wanna give you a little heads up
00:00:18.900 | that today's episode is sensitive.
00:00:21.960 | Today's question comes from
00:00:23.620 | an international listener named David.
00:00:25.920 | Hello, Pastor John, my thoughts keep returning
00:00:28.920 | to Proverbs 2.19.
00:00:31.160 | It says, "None who go to her come back,
00:00:34.960 | "nor do they regain the paths of life."
00:00:38.400 | Please, I need a deeper clarification on this verse
00:00:41.400 | because I'm frightened due to a recent experience.
00:00:44.160 | I'm a teenage Christian boy, 17 years old.
00:00:46.880 | Recently, I was carried away by my lust
00:00:49.560 | and foolishly decided to look for a temporary sexual partner
00:00:53.440 | through a hookup site online.
00:00:55.760 | I made contact with two women and they made promises
00:00:58.160 | saying that they would give their bodies to me
00:00:59.640 | in exchange for money.
00:01:01.000 | I paid them the money online,
00:01:02.720 | but they scammed me and never showed up.
00:01:04.960 | When this happened, I felt really stupid
00:01:07.160 | and angry with myself.
00:01:08.520 | I lost about $100.
00:01:10.580 | Later, I was able to reflect and see that what I did
00:01:12.880 | was wrong and that I deserved the loss.
00:01:15.560 | I'm really grateful to God because I feel
00:01:17.880 | that he allowed the scam to come my way
00:01:20.680 | because he was preventing me from losing my virginity.
00:01:25.080 | But I feel scared that I even went this far in the process.
00:01:28.840 | Even in seeking out a prostitute,
00:01:30.520 | I feel like I've crossed a line I cannot return from.
00:01:35.120 | Pastor John, have I?
00:01:37.920 | - My answer very simply is I do not know
00:01:41.920 | if David has crossed a line.
00:01:45.780 | I don't know whether he's crossed a line
00:01:49.280 | that cannot, from which he cannot return.
00:01:52.560 | But I can say to him that having sex
00:01:57.560 | with a prostitute or intending to and paying for it
00:02:03.880 | is not beyond God's forgiveness
00:02:09.160 | if there is genuine repentance.
00:02:11.440 | That is an authentic repudiation of the ugliness
00:02:15.980 | of that sin and a turning to Christ for mercy
00:02:21.160 | and for the power of reformation
00:02:23.400 | and for the enjoyment of Christ himself
00:02:26.580 | as a superior pleasure to all such sins.
00:02:31.300 | The reason I say that I don't know
00:02:36.140 | whether David has crossed the line
00:02:39.160 | is because I do believe there is such a thing
00:02:42.960 | as crossing the line from which
00:02:45.560 | we will never be able to return.
00:02:48.720 | Now, I know that's very frightening.
00:02:50.880 | It's intended to be very frightening.
00:02:54.260 | But the very text that teaches that
00:02:58.360 | also teaches that genuine repentance, if it happens,
00:03:03.360 | does always bring God's forgiveness.
00:03:07.100 | Here's the text, Hebrews 12, 15 to 17.
00:03:12.400 | "See to it that no one is sexually immoral
00:03:18.320 | "or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright
00:03:23.320 | "for a single meal.
00:03:26.100 | "For you know that afterward,
00:03:28.240 | "when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected,
00:03:33.240 | "for he found no place of repentance,
00:03:38.880 | "though he sought it with tears."
00:03:42.880 | Now, notice, it does not say that he genuinely repented
00:03:48.720 | and sought forgiveness, but couldn't find it.
00:03:52.760 | Though he repented, that's not what it says.
00:03:56.880 | What it says is that he was not able to repent.
00:04:01.880 | That's the line that you can cross.
00:04:05.340 | His sin had brought such bondage and deception
00:04:10.340 | and distortion on his soul.
00:04:13.040 | This is what happens in sexual sin.
00:04:15.120 | Oh my goodness, it's horrific how insane
00:04:18.640 | sexual sin makes people.
00:04:20.460 | It can distort the soul and decrease the soul's capacity
00:04:25.460 | so much that it is impossible then to authentically repent.
00:04:30.480 | That's the frightening thing.
00:04:32.520 | And the implication is, if he had repented,
00:04:36.720 | he would have received the blessing of the inheritance.
00:04:40.520 | He would have been forgiven.
00:04:42.560 | That is the standing invitation of New Testament gospel.
00:04:47.560 | First John 1, 9.
00:04:50.520 | If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
00:04:55.520 | to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us
00:04:59.960 | from all unrighteousness.
00:05:01.560 | That's a glorious, glorious, precious promise.
00:05:05.640 | And it does not say, well, except for prostitution
00:05:10.720 | or except for adultery or except for rape
00:05:12.760 | or except for really outrageous sins.
00:05:16.240 | No, it does not say that.
00:05:18.800 | If we confess our sins, if we agree with God
00:05:23.180 | all the way down, that we are hopeless
00:05:26.240 | and he is merciful and powerful and worthy
00:05:29.000 | and that Christ is enough in his death and resurrection
00:05:32.440 | and as a treasure for our lives,
00:05:34.280 | if we confess, he forgives all of it.
00:05:39.520 | So when I say there is a line that we can cross
00:05:44.520 | after which God will not grant us repentance,
00:05:48.520 | I do not have in mind a kind of sinning,
00:05:53.520 | a kind of really gross sin.
00:05:55.640 | So if you do that, then you've crossed the line.
00:05:58.280 | That's not the line.
00:06:00.240 | It's not the kind of sin that is unforgivable.
00:06:04.040 | It's the kind of hardness that one reaches in sinning
00:06:09.120 | from which he cannot repent.
00:06:10.880 | You can't bring yourself to be set free
00:06:13.960 | from your love of sin.
00:06:16.840 | And the Bible tells us nothing definite
00:06:20.600 | about which sins or what duration of sinning
00:06:25.600 | or what frequency of sinning crosses that line.
00:06:31.160 | It simply says, there's a line after which
00:06:35.760 | we may seek repentance with tears
00:06:38.520 | and not be able to find it.
00:06:41.520 | That's a strong warning to flee every temptation.
00:06:46.320 | Let no one think they can say,
00:06:48.880 | well, I'm about 10 temptations away from that line.
00:06:51.760 | You have no idea how close you may be to that line.
00:06:56.760 | So on what basis then do I say to David
00:07:01.240 | that having sex with a prostitute
00:07:05.700 | or intending to and paying for it
00:07:08.560 | is not beyond God's forgiveness
00:07:12.880 | if there's genuine repentance?
00:07:14.360 | How can I say that?
00:07:15.200 | Because he's pointing to Proverbs 2.19,
00:07:18.220 | which seems to say the opposite.
00:07:20.440 | She, namely this forbidden woman, the prostitute,
00:07:24.200 | forsakes the companion of her youth,
00:07:26.360 | forgets the covenant of her God,
00:07:28.400 | for her house sinks down to death.
00:07:30.520 | Her paths are to the departed.
00:07:32.640 | None who go to her come back,
00:07:37.640 | nor do they regain the paths of life.
00:07:43.560 | That's the sentence that is scaring David to death
00:07:48.540 | and it ought to.
00:07:51.020 | That's very strong language.
00:07:53.200 | None come back from her bed to the paths of life.
00:07:57.900 | It's a very strong warning
00:07:59.980 | that there is a deadly drug in the embrace of a prostitute
00:08:04.420 | and the experience of thousands is that there's no escape.
00:08:08.920 | But it's the nature of Proverbs
00:08:15.160 | to generalize in terms like this.
00:08:19.080 | Very often Proverbs state things in absolute terms
00:08:24.080 | when we know and they imply
00:08:27.300 | that the absoluteness is not absolute.
00:08:32.080 | They are generalizations rather than absolutes
00:08:35.700 | with no exceptions.
00:08:37.100 | Now here's the way we know this,
00:08:39.180 | that this is the nature of Proverbs.
00:08:41.020 | In Proverbs 26, four, it says,
00:08:44.380 | answer not a fool according to his folly,
00:08:49.300 | lest you be like him yourself.
00:08:51.900 | Now, if you just took that verse by itself,
00:08:54.360 | you'd say that's absolute.
00:08:55.820 | Never do that. Never, never, never.
00:08:57.780 | It says answer not a fool according to his folly.
00:09:02.020 | But the next verse, verse five says,
00:09:06.020 | answer a fool according to his folly,
00:09:09.620 | lest he be wise in his own eyes.
00:09:11.980 | And that one sounds absolute.
00:09:14.220 | It's the nature of a proverb to state general wisdom
00:09:19.220 | without calling attention each time to the exceptions.
00:09:24.820 | So when Proverbs 2, 19 says,
00:09:26.920 | no one who goes to her comes back.
00:09:31.900 | The point is be that fearful of the insanity
00:09:36.900 | of uniting your body to a prostitute.
00:09:39.860 | People don't come back.
00:09:41.700 | They go over the cliff.
00:09:43.460 | That's what happens.
00:09:45.740 | And he doesn't bother to say almost always.
00:09:50.340 | But here's the evidence from the New Testament
00:09:53.500 | that prostitution is not always unforgivable.
00:09:58.500 | It's not beyond forgiveness.
00:10:00.740 | First Corinthians 5, 1 goes like this.
00:10:03.140 | This is Paul confronting an immorality
00:10:06.660 | in the church in Corinth worse than prostitution.
00:10:11.100 | He says this, it is actually reported
00:10:16.100 | that there is sexual immorality among you
00:10:19.580 | of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans
00:10:24.580 | for a man has his father's wife.
00:10:30.920 | And you are arrogant, ought you not rather to mourn?
00:10:35.900 | Let him who has done this be removed from among you.
00:10:39.160 | You are to deliver this man to Satan
00:10:41.180 | for the destruction of his flesh
00:10:42.700 | so that, here it comes, his spirit may be saved.
00:10:48.700 | In the day of the Lord.
00:10:51.580 | So there it is.
00:10:53.060 | So that his spirit may be saved.
00:10:55.900 | He can be saved, he can be forgiven
00:10:58.020 | for this outrageous offense against secular
00:11:03.020 | and Christian morality.
00:11:06.020 | If he will be saved, he was forgiven.
00:11:09.360 | Evidently the hope is that in delivering him to Satan,
00:11:13.180 | something terrible will happen to him
00:11:15.620 | to destroy his flesh and lead his soul
00:11:19.640 | to genuine repentance.
00:11:21.960 | Because if there's repentance,
00:11:24.740 | there will be forgiveness and salvation
00:11:27.140 | even for sexual sin that is so outrageous
00:11:30.620 | the pagan world thinks it's reprehensible.
00:11:33.200 | So it is right for David to tremble because of his sin
00:11:38.200 | and to hear the warnings of scripture with fear.
00:11:43.820 | But it is also right for David to take heart
00:11:47.980 | from the gospel offer that if we will repent
00:11:51.480 | and confess our sins, God is faithful
00:11:55.340 | and will forgive our sins
00:11:57.300 | and cleanse us from all unrighteousness,
00:12:00.380 | even the unrighteousness of unspeakable sexual sin.
00:12:04.420 | - That's a good word of warning and of hope.
00:12:08.420 | Thank you, Pastor John.
00:12:09.780 | And thank you for listening to the podcast.
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00:12:19.540 | And to find other episodes in our archive
00:12:20.980 | or to submit a question to us of your own,
00:12:22.340 | do that online at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.
00:12:27.340 | Well, in Romans 1:5, the Apostle Paul talks about
00:12:32.580 | the obedience of faith, as the ESV puts it,
00:12:37.120 | or more clearly, the obedience that comes from faith,
00:12:41.220 | as the NIV puts it.
00:12:43.020 | We obey God only by faith in God.
00:12:46.740 | Faithless obedience is a fiction.
00:12:50.540 | And Pastor John's gonna explain why on Wednesday.
00:12:53.700 | I'm Tony Reinke.
00:12:54.820 | We'll see you then.
00:12:55.780 | (upbeat music)
00:12:58.360 | (upbeat music)
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