Childless Missionaries by Design?
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00:00:05.400 | Brianna writes in and says this, "I'm a 20 year old woman who by God's leading wants to live among
00:00:10.700 | unreached people groups in India or the Middle East. I've never had the desire to have my own kids,
00:00:15.400 | even though I love kids, and the guy I'm currently dating doesn't either. If we get married, we see
00:00:20.200 | ourselves living as Paul-type missionaries. Practically speaking, it makes sense to not have
00:00:25.480 | kids. I've heard so many different opinions, but I want to know if biblically it is a sin to not
00:00:30.800 | want to have kids if you're able to."
00:00:34.800 | First, I'm assuming that this couple is in a totally different category than the modern secular couple
00:00:45.200 | who have their personal dreams and consider children an inconvenience on the way to self-realization.
00:00:56.120 | That, it seems to me, is very common and is sinful because God and his word are not the plumb line in
00:01:04.520 | those choices, but rather self-absorption is. I don't hear that in this question, so I'm not treating
00:01:12.820 | that issue. That's another issue. It seems to me this couple has a question much more like 1 Corinthians 7
00:01:21.520 | when Paul ponders whether singleness is advisable for himself and others. So let me draw out the
00:01:29.720 | implications of Paul's words about spouselessness for the question of childlessness. Because I think
00:01:39.720 | the principles relating to spouselessness and childlessness are the same. So here's what Paul says,
00:01:46.920 | 1 Corinthians 7, "I wish all were as I myself am, namely single, but each has his own gift from God,
00:01:55.020 | one of one kind, one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to
00:01:59.920 | remain single as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry."
00:02:06.220 | And then he gives this reason down in verse 32, "I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man
00:02:13.020 | is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord, but the married man is anxious
00:02:19.420 | about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried
00:02:25.120 | betrothed or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and
00:02:30.020 | spirit, but the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. And I say
00:02:36.820 | this for your benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure
00:02:43.120 | your undivided devotion to the Lord." Now, the reasons this is important is that Genesis 2.18
00:02:53.020 | says it's not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper fit for him. And Genesis 2.24, "Man
00:03:00.220 | shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife." So marriage is normal and good and
00:03:06.920 | expected. And here comes Paul and he says, "Well, there are circumstances since the fall," because
00:03:17.120 | all those instructions were given before the fall, "there are circumstances since the fall in this
00:03:23.420 | redemptive era of people needing to come to Christ and much sin abounding in the world, there are
00:03:29.520 | circumstances after the fall where devotion to the Lord's work of redemption may demand unusual
00:03:37.420 | steps of devotion and singular focus." In other words, he warrants his own singleness that way,
00:03:45.620 | and he says others might take that step as well, but it's not a sin to marry. Now, I think the
00:03:51.620 | same principle applies to having children. In the beginning, before the fall, God said, "Be fruitful,
00:03:57.220 | multiply, fill the earth." That's normal, it's needed, it's the way God's purpose to fill the
00:04:03.820 | earth with worshippers is going to be fulfilled. You don't have babies, you won't fill the earth
00:04:08.520 | with the knowledge of the Lord like the waters cover the sea. But now, may we not infer, because
00:04:16.620 | of the analogy with marriage, that there are circumstances after the fall where devotion to
00:04:23.120 | the Lord's work of filling the earth with worshippers, the work of redemption, may demand
00:04:28.820 | unusual steps of devotion and singular focus. So my counsel would be this. Yes, for the Lord's sake,
00:04:37.920 | and for his unusual purposes in your life, you are free to forego the normal, wonderful blessing
00:04:47.820 | of children. That's number one. Number two, don't make this a lifelong commitment. God may change
00:04:57.420 | the situation, and he may change your mind. You may find yourself ten years into a missionary
00:05:05.580 | situation where you thought childlessness was crucial, and discover, "No, having babies here
00:05:14.320 | would be a great help, because it would give me the kind of normal fellowship with these women,"
00:05:21.320 | for example. I mean, that's just one possible example. So whichever way you do it, for the
00:05:28.380 | name of Christ, gather children for the name of Christ. So as a single person, as a married person,
00:05:35.220 | couple without children, gather children. Fill the earth with worshippers by winning worshippers,
00:05:42.420 | if not by begetting worshippers.
00:05:45.120 | Yes, thank you, Pastor John, and thank you, Brianna, for the question. If you find yourself
00:05:50.620 | drawn to international missions, but you don't know where to begin the process, we recorded an
00:05:54.220 | episode, number 236, to address this. That episode can be found in the free Ask Pastor John
00:05:59.720 | apps for the iPhone and the Android. That's episode number 236. And be sure you've updated
00:06:05.220 | your app in the last month to get all the new features that make it really easy to search and
00:06:09.020 | browse all of the almost 300 episodes that are now available in the archive. Well, it seems a
00:06:15.320 | few prominent Christians like Donald Miller have given up on the local church or find themselves
00:06:19.520 | on the verge of it. Tomorrow, I'll ask Pastor John for his thoughts. Until then, I'm your host,
00:06:24.320 | Tony Reinke. We'll see you tomorrow.
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