How Do I Fight Same-Sex Desires?
00:00:00.000 | A podcast listener named Matthew writes in to ask about same-sex attraction.
00:00:09.000 | He asks, "If so-called same-sex marriage is unbiblical, a truth which I, as a man struggling
00:00:14.100 | with same-sex desires, affirm, what am I to do with 1 Corinthians 7 verses 8 and 9 if
00:00:19.380 | I burn with homosexual passion?
00:00:21.920 | Am I misunderstanding that passion?
00:00:23.640 | I find these lusts even more difficult to battle in light of this passage because I
00:00:28.600 | feel stuck."
00:00:31.240 | I am deeply thankful that Matthew is honest about his same-sex attraction.
00:00:36.600 | And I'm thankful that he embraces the biblical truth that acting out that attraction in homosexual
00:00:45.200 | practices would be sinful.
00:00:49.600 | And therefore, as he says, he's struggling to be faithful to that conviction.
00:00:59.320 | That's a great and a noble and God-pleasing thing, that struggle.
00:01:06.480 | So he asks about 1 Corinthians 7 and 9 where Paul says, "If they cannot exercise self-control,
00:01:15.280 | they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
00:01:21.000 | Well, yes, that's true.
00:01:24.120 | Marriage is one possible means of governing our sexual passions.
00:01:31.600 | But there are two things to remember here, relevant for people who are heterosexual and
00:01:38.400 | people who struggle with homosexual desires.
00:01:43.920 | Marriage is not a foolproof solution to a man's passions.
00:01:48.200 | We know this because of how much adultery and how much pornography there is among married
00:01:52.640 | men.
00:01:53.880 | So if marriage is not an option for you, heterosexual or homosexual, you are not being denied the
00:02:02.920 | solution to your passions.
00:02:05.320 | It's not the solution.
00:02:07.140 | Marriage is not the solution.
00:02:09.240 | Here's the other thing to remember.
00:02:12.040 | Paul explicitly addresses men who have same-sex attraction and how they are to manage their
00:02:19.600 | passions.
00:02:20.600 | It's found in the chapter before chapter 7, not chapter 7.
00:02:27.880 | We often read it just to establish that homosexual behavior is sin, and we fail to see the glory
00:02:33.720 | of the help that's in the text.
00:02:35.680 | Let me read 1 Corinthians 6, 9, and 10.
00:02:39.240 | "Do you not know that the righteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?
00:02:45.560 | Do not be deceived.
00:02:47.000 | Neither sexually immoral," that is fornication, "nor idolaters," that's probably greed or
00:02:52.280 | covetousness, "nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor greedy,
00:03:00.320 | nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God."
00:03:06.080 | In other words, if you say, "I'm a greedy person, and that's the way I was born, and
00:03:11.540 | I will embrace greediness as a good thing," you will perish.
00:03:16.400 | So don't think that any particular sin is being picked on here.
00:03:19.920 | These are sins which if you love them, cherish them, pursue them, live in them, they will
00:03:26.640 | destroy you, not just homosexuality or fornication.
00:03:31.600 | Now here's the next verse.
00:03:33.080 | This is the crucial one.
00:03:34.640 | "Such were some of you, practicers of homosexuality, such were some of you, but you were washed,
00:03:43.960 | you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the
00:03:51.360 | Spirit of our God."
00:03:54.880 | That is massively important for those who struggle with same-sex attraction and aim
00:03:59.780 | to be pure and holy in their lives.
00:04:02.480 | You were a practicer of homosexuality.
00:04:06.520 | You were that, and you are no longer.
00:04:09.560 | What happened?
00:04:10.600 | You embraced the name of Jesus as the banner over your life.
00:04:15.120 | You submitted to him.
00:04:17.060 | You put your faith in him, and his blood cleansed you from all sins.
00:04:21.480 | You're washed.
00:04:22.480 | You're declared righteous.
00:04:23.840 | You are sanctified.
00:04:26.040 | And then specifically, Paul says this sanctifying, powerful influence was by the Spirit of our
00:04:35.680 | God.
00:04:37.240 | So there's the practical daily key.
00:04:40.600 | The power is the Holy Spirit.
00:04:43.600 | First you know you are accepted and declared forgiven and cleansed and righteous, clean.
00:04:51.200 | And then day by day, you trust God's promise to help you.
00:04:57.560 | And by this promise, the Holy Spirit comes in power and helps you resist temptation.
00:05:05.640 | You put to death the deeds of the body, as it says in Romans 8, 13, by the Spirit, relying
00:05:12.620 | on the Spirit, calling upon the Spirit, living in the Spirit.
00:05:15.840 | It's not in you.
00:05:17.200 | It's in him.
00:05:18.920 | God supplies the Spirit to you, it says in Galatians 3, 5.
00:05:23.320 | God supplies the Spirit to work these miracles by hearing with faith.
00:05:29.400 | That is, you hear the promise.
00:05:32.160 | You hear the gospel promise, and you believe it, and you bank on it.
00:05:40.040 | And in and through that promise and that faith, the Holy Spirit comes.
00:05:44.120 | And the way he comes is by making the promise of God's person and God's help and God's reward
00:05:51.920 | more precious to you than the power of the temptation you are facing, and thus you are
00:05:57.480 | able to kill it.
00:05:59.520 | So my answer is, until marriage is God's call on your life, and don't assume it couldn't
00:06:09.080 | be.
00:06:10.080 | I'm talking to a person with same-sex attraction.
00:06:13.880 | Until marriage to a woman, or if you're struggling with lesbian issues, a man, until marriage
00:06:21.000 | to the opposite sex is your calling, bank on the precious work of Christ to secure every
00:06:29.280 | promise for you and to supply the mighty Holy Spirit to help you live a pure and useful
00:06:38.360 | life without sexual sin.
00:06:42.120 | Amen.
00:06:43.480 | Thank you for that, Pastor John.
00:06:45.480 | And the sounds of the Phillips neighborhood filling the background as you, Pastor John,
00:06:49.400 | record from your home office.
00:06:51.760 | And well, as many of you know, Victoria Osteen recently tried to explain how human happiness
00:06:56.640 | and God's glory interact, and it caused quite a firestorm online, and many of you wrote
00:07:01.520 | in.
00:07:02.520 | Tomorrow, we will hear from Pastor John.
00:07:04.400 | I'm your host, Tony Reinke.
00:07:05.400 | Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast.
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