ATHLLC3008335102

00:00:00.000 | A quick word from our sponsor today.

00:00:01.700 | I love helping you answer all the toughest questions about life, money, and so much

00:00:08.040 | more, but sometimes it's helpful to talk to other people in your situation, which

00:00:12.880 | actually gets harder as you build your wealth.

00:00:14.940 | So I want to introduce you to today's sponsor, Longangle.

00:00:18.200 | Longangle is a community of high net worth individuals with backgrounds in

00:00:22.240 | everything from technology, finance, medicine, to real estate, law,

00:00:26.060 | manufacturing, and more.

00:00:27.620 | I'm a member of Longangle.

00:00:29.480 | I've loved being a part of the community, and I've even had one of the founders,

00:00:33.040 | Tad Fallows, join me on All The Hacks in episode 87 to talk about alternative

00:00:37.200 | investments.

00:00:37.920 | Now, the majority of Longangle members are first generation wealth, young, highly

00:00:42.660 | successful individuals who join the community to share knowledge and learn

00:00:46.400 | from each other in a confidential, unbiased setting.

00:00:49.600 | On top of that, members also get access to some unique private market investment

00:00:54.400 | opportunities.

00:00:55.200 | Like I said, I'm a member and I've gotten so much value from the community

00:00:59.120 | because you're getting advice and feedback from people in a similar

00:01:02.300 | situation to you on everything from your investment portfolio, to your

00:01:06.280 | children's education, to finding a concierge doctor.

00:01:09.240 | So many of these conversations aren't happening anywhere else online.

00:01:13.160 | So if you have more than 2.2 million in investable assets, which is their

00:01:17.440 | minimum for membership, I encourage you to check out Longangle and it's totally

00:01:21.980 | free to join.

00:01:22.760 | Just go to longangle.com to learn more.

00:01:26.400 | And if you choose to apply, be sure to let them know you heard about it here.

00:01:30.000 | Again, that's longangle.com.

00:01:34.640 | Hello, and welcome to another episode of All The Hacks, a show about upgrading

00:01:41.520 | your life, money, and travel.

00:01:43.160 | If you're new here, I'm your host, Chris Hutchins, and I'm a diehard optimizer

00:01:46.760 | who loves doing all the research to get the best experience in life without an

00:01:50.680 | expensive price tag.

00:01:51.800 | So to make this happen, I sit down with the best experts each week, and I learned

00:01:56.080 | all their strategies, tactics, and frameworks that shape their success.

00:01:59.400 | So if you hear the phrase cocktail party, you might think like me, 1960s, dressed up

00:02:05.800 | couples, sipping martinis on a Mad Men set.

00:02:08.160 | But that's not exactly what my guest, Nick Gray, means when he says that almost

00:02:12.200 | everyone should be hosting cocktail parties.

00:02:14.160 | Nick's the author of a new book called The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, How to Build Big

00:02:18.400 | Relationships with Small Gatherings.

00:02:20.280 | And he's on a mission to get people to have more parties, to make connections,

00:02:24.040 | build friendships, and live a richer life.

00:02:26.520 | Now, between kids and COVID, I haven't hosted many gatherings in a while, but

00:02:30.920 | when Nick told me he wrote his book for people like me and not for people who

00:02:34.320 | already host events all the time, I was really excited.

00:02:37.560 | So we're going to get tactical in this conversation.

00:02:39.840 | I want to hear why a cocktail party is a better way to get to know people than

00:02:43.800 | just having dinner, why Nick thinks name tags and icebreakers are non-negotiable

00:02:48.160 | for parties, and I want to get a complete run through of everything you need to do

00:02:52.920 | to make an event easy and effortless from invites to food and drink to

00:02:56.760 | getting to leave on time.

00:02:57.920 | But that's not all because Nick also founded a company called Museum Hacks to

00:03:03.640 | lead these renegade tours of museums like the Met in New York and others around the

00:03:07.800 | country.

00:03:08.320 | It's been featured in all kinds of media from the Wall Street Journal to the New

00:03:11.560 | York Times.

00:03:12.320 | And after a little research, I'm hoping I can take one of these tours soon.

00:03:15.600 | But in the meantime, I will make sure we also get all his museum hacks today too.

00:03:20.440 | And on top of that, Nick is an avid traveler and a fellow optimizer.

00:03:24.400 | So I'm certain we'll uncover some other hidden gems in this conversation.

00:03:27.840 | So let's get started.

00:03:29.200 | Nick, welcome to the show.

00:03:32.480 | I'm happy to be here.

00:03:33.880 | We're going to get real tactical today.

00:03:35.520 | That's fantastic.

00:03:36.960 | So I'm going to jump right in and just ask why cocktail parties?

00:03:40.880 | You can get 80% of the benefits of hosting a dinner party with 20% of the work by

00:03:48.560 | hosting a cocktail party.

00:03:50.120 | Now, anybody can write a book to teach you how to host one dinner party, but the

00:03:54.440 | reality is, is that most people will never do it again.

00:03:57.800 | And dinner parties are too hard.

00:04:00.240 | They're too complicated.

00:04:01.360 | A lot of people give entrepreneurs this advice, like host a dinner party or host a

00:04:05.520 | mastermind.

00:04:06.440 | And I think that's actually terrible advice for most people.

00:04:09.160 | You get most of the benefits from hosting when you can actually make it a habit and

00:04:14.000 | something where you always have your next party on the calendar.

00:04:18.040 | To do that, I built the easiest possible framework and formula for hosting events.

00:04:22.560 | Okay, so I've looked at that formula and I know you have all these things, name tags,

00:04:27.400 | icebreakers, firm stopping times.

00:04:29.400 | Why are they important and how do you actually get people to play along and agree

00:04:33.080 | to them?

00:04:33.440 | Well, one of the first things is that the best day to host an event might not be the

00:04:38.280 | one that you think.

00:04:39.200 | For example, I highly suggest that everybody hosts their parties on Monday, Tuesday, or

00:04:45.200 | Wednesday nights.

00:04:46.840 | Why those?

00:04:47.440 | We can go into that if you want, basically because they're non-competitive social

00:04:51.720 | nights.

00:04:52.120 | Most people don't have things going on.

00:04:53.760 | Second of all is I always give a stop time to my parties.

00:04:57.120 | Two hours, there's a start time, there's an end time.

00:04:59.680 | And there's hidden benefits in having a stop time, one of which is that it gets all

00:05:04.080 | your guests to show up on time, right?

00:05:06.240 | When you're a host, that beginning hour when nobody really shows up, it's slow.

00:05:10.640 | When you have a tight two-hour thing, then folks show up on time and you end the

00:05:16.560 | party when things are going well, so that your friends, guests, your colleagues, they

00:05:20.280 | want to come back the next time that you host.

00:05:22.320 | And when you host regularly, is it always the same people or do people feel left out

00:05:27.040 | or how does that work?

00:05:27.840 | Great question.

00:05:28.680 | I usually mix it up.

00:05:29.600 | I'll do half repeat guests, half new guests.

00:05:32.320 | You really get the best benefits when you're going through life.

00:05:36.080 | Let's say that you're hosting a cocktail party once every six weeks.

00:05:39.320 | Between those parties, you're meeting all these random people.

00:05:43.360 | Here's why I did this, why I can change your listener's life.

00:05:46.360 | We meet all these interesting people that we never do anything with, like you meet

00:05:52.760 | them, they're cool and you're like, oh, that person was interesting, but I'm not

00:05:56.360 | going to go out of my way to schedule a dinner with them.

00:05:58.600 | I'm not going to go out of my way to schedule a one-on-one meeting or a hangout

00:06:04.000 | with them because life's busy and things happen.

00:06:06.480 | When you have a cocktail party, you get to kind of collect all of those interesting

00:06:11.560 | people that you meet through life and bring them back in and then almost audition them

00:06:17.560 | to see if you want to be friends with them or build a relationship, almost something

00:06:21.000 | like that.

00:06:21.480 | I hope that doesn't sound bad.

00:06:23.120 | No, no, it's funny.

00:06:24.920 | We went to a birthday party for a kid named Jackson.

00:06:28.600 | I'd never met Jackson my whole life.

00:06:30.560 | My daughter has met him at the park with our au pair and we got this kind of invite

00:06:36.080 | through the nanny group to us.

00:06:38.440 | And so we go to this party, we don't know a single person.

00:06:40.520 | And now we just met, I don't know, 10 couples with our kid's age.

00:06:44.600 | And I will share this because we didn't know what to do with them.

00:06:47.920 | We're like, "You seem cool.

00:06:48.960 | We've got kids the same age, but do we really want to orchestrate 10 playdates or

00:06:53.080 | group play?"

00:06:53.600 | It just seemed like we met these interesting parents and we didn't know what to do.

00:06:56.880 | So you've sold me on the fact that dinner is not going to happen.

00:06:59.960 | I'm not going to schedule 10 dinners because that's going to take me the next, I

00:07:03.560 | don't know, it feels like 10 months of dinners straight.

00:07:06.120 | Yeah.

00:07:06.440 | I get why I should do it, but it seems like a lot of work.

00:07:09.760 | So I'd love to just dial in like, how do you make this, you said 20% of the work of

00:07:14.840 | a dinner party.

00:07:15.560 | Yeah.

00:07:15.800 | How is that possible?

00:07:16.680 | Okay.

00:07:17.520 | I found when I was scheduling dinners that first of all, you have to stress about all

00:07:21.160 | the food.

00:07:21.640 | By the way, it's not about the food.

00:07:23.400 | The hack is that if you are insistent on hosting a dinner party, just order out.

00:07:27.960 | Don't try to cook the food yourself.

00:07:29.760 | Nobody cares about the food.

00:07:31.040 | They're coming for the people and for the conversation.

00:07:33.760 | When you order out, it allows you to be a little less stressed about that.

00:07:37.640 | But how is it more efficient?

00:07:39.640 | How can you get 80% of the benefits with 20% of the work?

00:07:42.640 | Well, 80% of the benefits at a dinner party.

00:07:45.520 | Have you read the book, the art of gathering by Priya Parker?

00:07:49.560 | I have not.

00:07:50.840 | Absolutely fantastic book.

00:07:52.800 | And in there, she says one thing that when you have a dinner party with more than six

00:07:57.440 | people, the conversation will naturally split into two smaller groups.

00:08:02.080 | So if you have a dinner party with eight or dinner party with 10, the conversation will

00:08:05.760 | split unless you're doing Jeffersonian single track with a very skilled facilitator,

00:08:10.480 | moderator, the conversation naturally will split into smaller groups.

00:08:14.400 | And so I generally would have a dinner party.

00:08:16.280 | It's about six because that's easy to host.

00:08:18.520 | I find that by hosting a cocktail party and by the way, the sweet spot, the number of

00:08:22.840 | people that you want to have attend is 15 to 20.

00:08:26.360 | Why is that?

00:08:27.520 | Because less than 15, there's not enough energy.

00:08:31.200 | There's not enough dynamic, new connections and possibilities.

00:08:35.200 | If you have a group of 10 people over two hours, you can survey the room visually.

00:08:40.480 | And generally you'll talk to pretty much everybody with 15 people with 20 people,

00:08:45.480 | you probably won't get a chance to talk to everybody.

00:08:48.480 | And it leaves this excitement and energy for all of your guests, especially in the

00:08:52.840 | room as well.

00:08:53.680 | That is a little known fact that the more people you have, the easier it is for you

00:08:59.760 | as a host.

00:09:00.520 | If you are hosting seven people, six people, there's a lot of work.

00:09:04.600 | You're kind of always on.

00:09:06.560 | You are the host at all the time.

00:09:08.800 | When you're 15 to 20 people, you get to step back into the role of facilitator a

00:09:13.600 | little bit more.

00:09:14.360 | And my book speaks a lot about that.

00:09:15.920 | I can share those facilitation tips and tricks for you.

00:09:19.320 | But that's why for me, it's so much less work and I can connect with so many more

00:09:24.360 | people in the time it takes to watch a Netflix movie.

00:09:27.000 | Okay.

00:09:28.840 | So I've got the number of people, I've got the day of the week.

00:09:31.880 | Is this send an evite or how do you get the people to the place and where do you do

00:09:37.360 | it?

00:09:37.440 | Just at your home?

00:09:38.200 | Do you rent a venue?

00:09:39.280 | I'm just going to go through all the questions I have because in my mind, I'm

00:09:42.760 | already starting to plan the next one.

00:09:44.320 | Well, if you're open to it, can we just plan yours?

00:09:47.880 | Can we just do that?

00:09:49.240 | And then I'll tell you step by step.

00:09:51.080 | Okay.

00:09:51.400 | So first step is you need to pick a day and you need to give yourself three to four

00:09:55.680 | weeks minimum in advance.

00:09:57.880 | That's what I call the party runway.

00:10:00.400 | It's so that you can fill up your guest list, have plenty of time to plan and

00:10:03.560 | prepare.

00:10:04.040 | And so to do that, then you need to pick a date, a Monday or Tuesday, Wednesday.

00:10:08.680 | That's minimum three weeks in advance.

00:10:10.760 | Do you have a date that would work for you?

00:10:12.800 | First time here.

00:10:15.680 | Should I go like on the short end, four weeks?

00:10:18.040 | I got a date for you that works in August, about a month out.

00:10:21.640 | Yes.

00:10:22.240 | I probably have a date that works in September, like two months out.

00:10:25.440 | August is it.

00:10:27.040 | Let's do it sooner rather than later, because what a lot of people will say when

00:10:30.920 | they host this past, Oh yeah, that makes sense.

00:10:32.640 | I'll do it.

00:10:33.520 | And so I want to do it when it's perfect.

00:10:35.120 | No hosting is something that we're going to do naturally and regularly.

00:10:39.960 | We're not going to wait for it to be perfect.

00:10:41.760 | And so I would even rather you do this first one sooner, just so you can see how

00:10:46.120 | easy it's going to be.

00:10:47.120 | And then you can do one that'll be even better later in September.

00:10:50.200 | So if you have that date, what day of the week is it?

00:10:52.920 | Is it a Monday, a Tuesday?

00:10:54.040 | Okay, great.

00:10:55.360 | Now you need to pick a two hour time block.

00:10:58.240 | What two hours for me when I was in New York City, I would choose seven to nine

00:11:03.360 | p.m., eight to 10 p.m.

00:11:05.240 | even because I'm single, because in New York people stay up later.

00:11:09.200 | Now I'm in Austin, Texas, and people do things earlier.

00:11:11.960 | So here it's more like five to seven p.m., six to eight.

00:11:14.480 | What two hour time block would be good for you?

00:11:17.240 | We have kids.

00:11:18.760 | There's a whole question I have about how does this whole scenario change with

00:11:21.880 | children, because our kids eat dinner and go to bed.

00:11:25.520 | Like, do you invite them?

00:11:26.520 | Let's talk about that right now.

00:11:27.680 | So what time do your kids go to sleep?

00:11:29.560 | We well, one is only a month.

00:11:32.560 | So it's just kind of on demand whenever.

00:11:34.160 | But but the two year old, we usually do dinner around six, six thirty, do bedtime

00:11:39.120 | routine, seven, seven thirty.

00:11:40.840 | And from seven thirty on, she might not be asleep, but she's kind of in her room

00:11:44.440 | doing her own thing, hopefully falling asleep.

00:11:46.240 | Great. So you have a one month old and you have a two month old, right?

00:11:49.040 | Or sorry, a two year old.

00:11:51.080 | Yeah, one month old and a two year old.

00:11:52.480 | So five to seven could work.

00:11:54.280 | We would just maybe need someone to help get her some food so that when the party

00:11:58.040 | wraps at seven, we'll go put her down.

00:11:59.440 | Yes. So I love that idea for five to seven p.m.

00:12:02.720 | And you're speaking a lot about what do you do?

00:12:05.200 | How do you have a party with kids?

00:12:06.520 | And the advice that I've gotten and I've worked and I've trained a lot of people

00:12:10.280 | to host their first party is they say that you have to have the child care

00:12:14.800 | handled, not just for your kids, but for any of the other people who you might

00:12:18.880 | invite to make it easy for them to say yes and to swing by.

00:12:22.440 | And so to that extent, can you have child care that's available,

00:12:26.680 | whether it's your au pair or hiring another babysitter as well?

00:12:30.640 | Even if you have to spend an extra, I don't know how much babysitters cost.

00:12:34.760 | Fifty hundred dollars.

00:12:36.120 | Even if you had to spend a little bit extra to have one extra person

00:12:40.360 | that was on hand, the concept or the idea would be to have like a simultaneous

00:12:45.880 | children's party in your home, in another room separate from the adults.

00:12:50.320 | How does that sound or how does that hit for you?

00:12:52.960 | I think that can work.

00:12:54.560 | We could ask around. It's in the summer.

00:12:56.360 | There's a lot of kids in our neighborhood that are home from college.

00:12:59.280 | We could probably find a couple of people to help entertain kids.

00:13:02.200 | Or I'm less worried about that and more worried.

00:13:04.440 | Are the parents going to want to let their kids go hang out with a random person?

00:13:07.520 | Are they going to want them to like hang out a second half of the backyard?

00:13:10.600 | Yes. Maybe have the kids in the backyard

00:13:12.680 | where they're kind of in eyeshot, but doing their own thing.

00:13:15.440 | So we could do that. Yes.

00:13:16.720 | Both of those things.

00:13:17.720 | But just having the extra set of hands available during the party

00:13:21.800 | will let you figure out and feel the vibe.

00:13:24.200 | Do you feel that your questions or concerns of managing the kids

00:13:28.000 | during the party are now handled doing it on a Wednesday night from five to 7 p.m.?

00:13:32.640 | We'll find out if anyone shows up or they're all like, no, I've got kids.

00:13:36.080 | I can't do five to seven.

00:13:37.120 | I think the biggest question is if everybody feeds their kids five to six o'clock.

00:13:41.200 | Yeah. How are the kids going to get fed?

00:13:42.800 | So you might not need parent food, but yes, kids might need food.

00:13:46.800 | Well, I'm so glad that you mentioned that, because if one of your listeners

00:13:49.280 | is saying, why are they talking about kids so much?

00:13:50.760 | I don't have kids.

00:13:51.720 | Well, the next step is going to apply both to you and to somebody without kids.

00:13:55.560 | Now that you've picked your proposed date and time Wednesday from.

00:14:00.240 | What time was it again from five to seven?

00:14:03.120 | OK, you're now going to think about what I call your core group.

00:14:07.320 | Your core group will be your closest friends, neighbors

00:14:10.640 | or colleagues who you would invite to this party.

00:14:13.640 | And you need a minimum of five of them who would say yes.

00:14:18.440 | So to get to five, you may need to invite eight to ten even.

00:14:22.400 | So can you think or can you write down right now

00:14:25.120 | the names of five to ten of those people

00:14:29.560 | that you would invite first that would be part of what's called your core group?

00:14:33.680 | Yes, I don't think I'd have to write it down

00:14:36.240 | because we've done everything from baby showers to stuff like that.

00:14:39.880 | So like, I think I have that list prepared somewhere,

00:14:42.000 | but we don't have to go through it all right here.

00:14:44.320 | Good. Well, you know who that is and you know how to message them.

00:14:47.960 | Your next step is going to be to send them a text message, a DM,

00:14:52.600 | however you communicate most casually saying, hey, my wife and I are thinking

00:14:57.200 | about hosting a casual cocktail party on Wednesday night from five to 7 p.m.

00:15:04.040 | Would that work for you?

00:15:06.080 | And if we do it, would you come?

00:15:09.320 | By getting those five first people to say, yes,

00:15:12.640 | that's what you're looking for is five yeses.

00:15:14.640 | You've done a little bit of a survey to know that more or less

00:15:17.880 | this will work for them, and now your party is going to happen.

00:15:20.800 | You're not going to make an event page.

00:15:22.600 | You're not going to share it with anybody else until you get those five yeses.

00:15:26.000 | And so since you've set your date out about four weeks,

00:15:29.680 | you're going to give yourself the next one to three days

00:15:33.160 | to try to collect those five yeses.

00:15:35.680 | If you cannot get the five yeses because people are saying,

00:15:39.160 | no way we can do that.

00:15:40.680 | The kids are going to go down.

00:15:42.320 | I can't work that with our schedule.

00:15:44.200 | Then you're going to modify based on your environmental situation.

00:15:48.200 | You'll say, you know what?

00:15:49.360 | It's actually impossible for us to do this during the weeknight

00:15:52.160 | because the kids were going to rejigger this.

00:15:54.240 | I know that Nick said on a Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday,

00:15:57.040 | let's actually try this on a Sunday afternoon.

00:15:59.440 | OK, yeah, you can do that once you've done the first sample.

00:16:03.920 | But once you get those five yeses, now your party is happening

00:16:07.240 | and it's off to the races.

00:16:08.840 | Do you think that you would be able to get those five yeses?

00:16:12.240 | I think we can get five yeses, though.

00:16:14.640 | When you said Sunday afternoon, my gears went, oh, man, Sunday afternoon

00:16:17.600 | feels like such a family friendly time after the nap, before dinner.

00:16:21.240 | You could do like four to six for the sake of this conversation.

00:16:24.240 | I assume everything else will apply the same.

00:16:26.600 | OK, good. So now you've gotten those five yeses.

00:16:29.880 | Your next immediate step is to create an RSVP page

00:16:34.560 | to collect the confirmations from people.

00:16:37.880 | What do we do by collecting the RSVPs?

00:16:39.920 | Have you used any of these like social platforms?

00:16:42.680 | Paperless Post, Evite, Eventbrite. Which one do you guys use?

00:16:45.480 | Or what have you used recently?

00:16:46.720 | I think we did Paperless Post for a baby shower,

00:16:48.680 | but I'm very curious to know, like, what's your go to?

00:16:51.400 | Because Paperless Post, you can get lost in like, oh, which design do I want?

00:16:56.160 | And they charge you.

00:16:58.600 | Somebody just told me that in order for you to download a CSV of the emails

00:17:02.560 | or something, they charge you, which is sneaky.

00:17:05.160 | I understand. But sometimes for my friends, they're like,

00:17:09.200 | I'm not signing up for a subscription service.

00:17:11.200 | The platform that I like the best, most that I recommend

00:17:13.800 | is a service called Mixily, M-I-X-I-L-Y.

00:17:18.240 | The youth love a service called Partyful, P-A-R-T-I-F-U-L.

00:17:25.880 | I like Mixily, and that is what I use.

00:17:28.800 | I'm hosting a party tonight. It's the service that I use.

00:17:31.400 | There's no charge. There is no fees. They don't spam your guests.

00:17:35.720 | There's no ads. You don't need to download special software.

00:17:39.160 | We're looking for the easiest way for someone to simply RSVP to your party.

00:17:45.120 | And why do we do that?

00:17:46.320 | Because they make a social contract and they say, I'm going to show up.

00:17:50.840 | And a lot of the work that I'm going to give you advice

00:17:53.360 | is just going to be making sure that people will attend.

00:17:56.240 | And one of the ways we do that is by getting them to RSVP.

00:17:59.360 | Not just saying, yes, they'll come on text, but to further their commitment by RSVP.

00:18:04.120 | So all those five who have said yes, you're now going to text them back.

00:18:06.920 | Perfect. Let me make an event page.

00:18:08.960 | I'll follow up in a day or two.

00:18:10.560 | You make the event page, you send them the link and you say,

00:18:13.040 | will you please RSVP here just so we can get a head count?

00:18:15.920 | You will now have a landing page for your party

00:18:21.240 | that lists five or more people who are coming,

00:18:25.200 | showing social proof to everybody else you invite

00:18:28.480 | that people are actually going to come to this party.

00:18:32.080 | Have you ever been invited to an event?

00:18:34.680 | And you've clearly been spam the invitation.

00:18:36.920 | It's 93 invited and two attending.

00:18:39.800 | That's bad.

00:18:40.520 | And we're never going to do that because we're always going to ask people,

00:18:43.200 | can you come before you send the invitation?

00:18:45.320 | So you get your five yeses.

00:18:47.960 | You make the event page.

00:18:48.960 | You get them all to sign up on RSVP.

00:18:51.000 | Now you can invite a wider group that I call your great guests.

00:18:55.280 | These are your acquaintances.

00:18:57.600 | These are where you're going to fill up the rest of the guest list

00:19:00.200 | to get from 15 to 20 attendees, not including the kids.

00:19:03.840 | I'll take a pause to see what type of questions you have or thoughts or feedback.

00:19:07.480 | No, that makes sense.

00:19:09.000 | I assume a guest, if you're inviting mostly couples, is each couple is two people.

00:19:14.440 | If you're having 15 to 20, you're having eight to 10 couples.

00:19:17.680 | Yes. If that's mostly the demographic.

00:19:19.760 | Yes, yes, yes, that makes sense.

00:19:21.600 | It's so funny because when I would host my dinner parties,

00:19:24.600 | I would finally curate the guest list

00:19:27.800 | and I would try to invite all these entrepreneurs and other people.

00:19:30.720 | And they'd ask, oh, can I bring my girlfriend?

00:19:32.400 | Can I bring so and so?

00:19:33.840 | And I would say no, because I'm curating a specific group of people there.

00:19:38.960 | And that is blasphemy.

00:19:41.280 | If you tell somebody that they cannot bring their partner,

00:19:44.320 | unless it's a very strictly business event, if it's a social event,

00:19:47.800 | they can't bring your partner. It's very sketchy.

00:19:49.920 | So I now no longer suggest that people limit their guest list.

00:19:54.720 | And oftentimes for people hosting their first party, you just want warm bodies.

00:19:59.520 | You just want as many people to say yes.

00:20:02.840 | And so for your first party, I really need to encourage you, Chris.

00:20:07.360 | Do not try to finally curate it.

00:20:09.680 | Do not try to invite VIPs to this.

00:20:13.120 | Simply invite people that you feel comfortable with

00:20:16.160 | to run through the pieces of this party formula that I'm going to share.

00:20:21.640 | Great. So I've got this page set up.

00:20:24.680 | What do I put on it?

00:20:26.280 | So the important thing about the page is you have to set the expectations

00:20:29.920 | of what is going to happen at this party.

00:20:32.000 | And there's two unique things at one of my parties.

00:20:35.440 | Number one, is there are name tags?

00:20:38.400 | And number two, there's icebreakers.

00:20:41.760 | I can talk about why those are important, but I can tell you

00:20:44.680 | that by listing them in the invitation,

00:20:47.880 | it will remove 95% of concerns that people that have on the event

00:20:53.400 | that they're going to sign up to an RSVP, by the way,

00:20:55.680 | you're also going to list not only the start time, but the end time.

00:20:59.880 | Many people are like, how do I get people to leave my party?

00:21:03.160 | And by letting them know that there is an end time

00:21:07.240 | by clearly listing that, then it helps people to know.

00:21:11.000 | And it also encourages them to show up on time, like we talked about.

00:21:14.200 | So letting them know that there will be name tags and icebreakers.

00:21:17.840 | I usually say something simple like.

00:21:20.560 | Hey, I'm getting some friends together

00:21:23.800 | to have cocktails and a round of icebreakers.

00:21:27.280 | There will be name tags because I'm bad with names, lol.

00:21:30.640 | This is super casual.

00:21:32.440 | You don't have to dress up.

00:21:34.120 | You don't have to bring anything.

00:21:35.960 | We'll have mixers, drinks, alcohol and seltzer.

00:21:39.880 | And maybe you'll meet some new friends.

00:21:42.040 | That's the general gist of what the invitation page will say.

00:21:45.720 | And by giving people knowing what to expect,

00:21:48.960 | it not only helps them have a successful event,

00:21:52.440 | but it also encourages people that are kind of shy or like introverted.

00:21:56.200 | Many times we don't think about those types of people.

00:21:58.720 | You're a podcast host, so you're probably pretty outgoing.

00:22:01.440 | I probably sound pretty extroverted and outgoing.

00:22:04.360 | But a lot of my work in my book works to help people

00:22:08.240 | make their parties feel safe and comfortable for those

00:22:10.520 | that might be a little socially awkward even after COVID too.

00:22:13.520 | OK, so you didn't mention anything about food.

00:22:17.240 | Is that because there's no food at this party?

00:22:18.880 | There's no food. There's only the most basic snacks.

00:22:21.120 | If you had to think of a simple way to think about my parties,

00:22:25.280 | you would think about the NIC party formula.

00:22:28.480 | N-I-C-K. N stands for name tags.

00:22:32.160 | I stands for icebreakers.

00:22:35.120 | C stands for cocktails only, no food.

00:22:38.240 | And K stands for kick them out at the end.

00:22:41.680 | The party is only two hours.

00:22:43.760 | Now, why is there no food?

00:22:45.320 | I have a pretty hard rule that there's no food,

00:22:47.600 | because in the event that you say, well,

00:22:51.000 | maybe we'll just do some past appetizers.

00:22:53.400 | It completely changes the level of stress that's involved.

00:22:57.120 | You can add food later on.

00:22:59.480 | And in fact, my book goes through and I can just tell you what to have now.

00:23:02.680 | You can have baby carrots.

00:23:03.760 | You can have salted nuts.

00:23:05.080 | You can have prepared easy food like snacks, chips, dip.

00:23:09.120 | People love guacamole.

00:23:10.720 | Those things are simple that take minimal preparation.

00:23:13.760 | But the whole purpose of this is to show you how easy

00:23:17.760 | hosting an event can be and that it's not about the food.

00:23:21.080 | It's about the people.

00:23:22.680 | OK, so no food.

00:23:24.800 | Name tags make sense.

00:23:25.840 | Kick them out makes sense, though.

00:23:26.880 | I do want to know, what's the way to kick people out?

00:23:28.920 | Like, let's say it's five to seven.

00:23:30.720 | It's seven rolls around.

00:23:32.280 | Yeah, I'm guessing most people there aren't like, oh, looking at the time.

00:23:35.520 | What do you say to people?

00:23:36.960 | So you as the host will make a last call

00:23:39.760 | about 15 minutes before the party is scheduled to end.

00:23:43.800 | You would turn down the music and make a little announcement.

00:23:46.920 | And so I'll say something like, all right, everybody, thank you so much for coming.

00:23:50.360 | It's seven forty five.

00:23:51.640 | I said this party would go till eight.

00:23:53.160 | I know it's a school night, so I'm going to let you home.

00:23:55.320 | Grab a last drink.

00:23:56.560 | Say hello to somebody new if you hadn't had a chance yet.

00:23:58.960 | And we'll start to wrap up in about 15 minutes.

00:24:01.920 | And then I'll turn the music back up at the time the party is scheduled to end.

00:24:05.760 | I will turn all the lights up.

00:24:07.520 | I'll turn the music down.

00:24:09.240 | I'll thank everybody for coming.

00:24:11.240 | Maybe I'll do a group photo.

00:24:13.520 | I do something else that I hesitate to say

00:24:16.600 | because it'll make the party sound very weird, but at my parties,

00:24:19.440 | I do a little cheer.

00:24:20.840 | I've had people have very success with doing this,

00:24:23.600 | but it does feel like a kid's summer camp.

00:24:25.560 | But it adds a finality or sort of an end to it.

00:24:29.480 | And as silly and ridiculous as my formula sounds,

00:24:32.360 | I promise you that it really does work.

00:24:35.080 | I love it. OK, OK.

00:24:37.680 | I have a couple of fobs.

00:24:38.760 | You said music is there like a go to playlist.

00:24:41.840 | I feel like that could be a stressful thing for a lot of people.

00:24:44.520 | Try to curate what's playing.

00:24:45.880 | Oh, my gosh. Never, never try to preprogram a playlist.

00:24:50.680 | You want easy, happy music that is not too loud.

00:24:54.200 | I will play the Beach Boys channel on a streaming service.

00:24:58.520 | It's easy. It's non-controversial.

00:25:00.320 | It's upbeat. It's generally positive.

00:25:02.520 | I'm looking for stuff like that.

00:25:04.360 | I have collected a list of playlists,

00:25:06.680 | www.party.pro/playlists of party playlists

00:25:12.520 | that my friends and readers and other hosts have used.

00:25:15.160 | But generally, you just want something very easy.

00:25:18.000 | That's background music that's upbeat and happy.

00:25:20.720 | I feel like I've nailed most of these follow ups, but.

00:25:23.160 | Cocktails, you brushed over quickly.

00:25:26.240 | Yeah, it can be a lot of work to make a mixed drink.

00:25:28.720 | Is this really just like only cocktails or is this beer, wine?

00:25:33.960 | And if you want a cocktail, you can make it a first controversial thing.

00:25:37.200 | There's no beer.

00:25:37.880 | And I'll tell you why there's no beer.

00:25:39.320 | Second thing, I wrote a book called The Two Hour Cocktail Party,

00:25:42.560 | and I don't even drink alcohol.

00:25:44.240 | So that's ironic.

00:25:45.440 | There's not a single mixed drink recipe that's in the book.

00:25:48.120 | But we use that phrase cocktail party because it encapsulates

00:25:53.080 | a social construct of an easy event that is lightweight

00:25:58.120 | and acceptable to pop into.

00:26:00.840 | When I say the phrase cocktail party, what do you think of?

00:26:04.240 | What sort of comes to mind to you, Chris?

00:26:06.400 | I said in the intro, it feels very like, you know, walk in,

00:26:10.400 | grab a martini kind of thing.

00:26:11.920 | When it comes out of your mouth, it obviously doesn't feel that way.

00:26:14.520 | It feels a bit more casual.

00:26:16.120 | Well, the reality is, is what drinks are you going to have at your party?

00:26:19.240 | You're going to have a do it yourself, serve yourself bar.

00:26:22.160 | And so that can be a couple bottles of alcohol.

00:26:24.480 | You can have vodka or tequila or whiskey or bourbon or whatever.

00:26:28.560 | You're going to have some basic mixers.

00:26:31.200 | You'll have a bowl filled with ice.

00:26:32.920 | You'll have maybe some juice and plenty of non-alcoholic options

00:26:35.840 | like seltzer, seltzer water or hard seltzer.

00:26:38.480 | Now, I do not include beer for my list.

00:26:41.320 | Are you a beer drinker?

00:26:42.880 | I'm a casual beer drinker.

00:26:44.400 | Like, I enjoy beer, but I wouldn't say it's always my go to.

00:26:47.440 | Do you have friends that are beer drinkers that are beer drinkers?

00:26:51.520 | Yeah, I would be shocked if anyone ever says no to that question.

00:26:54.120 | So generally, what I find with beer drinkers is that they are highly brand loyal.

00:27:00.040 | Beer drinkers are very specific in their beer preferences.

00:27:04.280 | They're highly brand loyal.

00:27:05.960 | And beer just creates a lot of party shrapnel.

00:27:09.480 | What do I mean by that?

00:27:10.600 | I mean, like there's extra beer bottles, there's beer cans.

00:27:13.640 | It's just like all this extra stuff.

00:27:15.680 | What type of beer?

00:27:16.560 | Well, if I'm going to buy this beer, then you need another type of beer for somebody else.

00:27:20.040 | If you want to serve beer at your party, you absolutely can.

00:27:23.200 | But I want to tell all your listeners I've hosted hundreds of parties

00:27:26.880 | never serving beer, and it's just another thing to remove the stress for me.

00:27:31.200 | And I've never had a complaint.

00:27:32.760 | So there's all these little hacks that I'm doing,

00:27:35.040 | which is just trying to make it as easy as possible to teach you

00:27:38.760 | that you can host and you can make hosting easy.

00:27:42.400 | And then it can absolutely change your life if you become someone who hosts.

00:27:46.160 | OK, so I've got the drinks that you didn't mention wine.

00:27:49.640 | Is there wine there?

00:27:50.400 | Wine, some white wine, some red wine in the summertime, a rosé.

00:27:53.720 | Just get two bottles of each. OK.

00:27:56.040 | So I am quite comfortable right now, which is actually true almost every day.

00:28:01.880 | And that's thanks to Viore.

00:28:03.240 | And I'm excited to be partnering with them for this episode.

00:28:05.880 | They make performance apparel that's incredibly versatile.

00:28:09.160 | Everything is designed to work out in, but it doesn't look or feel like it at all.

00:28:13.520 | And it's so freaking comfortable.

00:28:15.320 | You will want to wear it all the time.

00:28:17.120 | Seriously, I am pretty sure it's more comfortable than whatever

00:28:20.000 | you're wearing right now, unless you're wearing Viore,

00:28:22.440 | in which case you already know what I mean.

00:28:24.240 | And it's not just for men.

00:28:26.000 | My wife is as obsessed with Viore as I am.

00:28:28.680 | My favorite is the Sunday Performance Joggers.

00:28:31.320 | I think I have three pairs and they are probably the most comfortable pants

00:28:35.040 | I've ever owned.

00:28:36.080 | Their products can be used for just about any activity,

00:28:38.880 | whether it's running, training or yoga.

00:28:41.160 | They're also great for lounging, running around town,

00:28:43.840 | or their meta pants can even work for a night out.

00:28:46.840 | Honestly, I think Viore is an investment in your happiness.

00:28:49.760 | And for all the Hacks listeners, they are offering 20% off

00:28:52.960 | your first purchase, as well as free shipping and returns on U.S.

00:28:56.920 | orders over $75.

00:28:59.000 | So you should definitely check them out at all the hacks dot com slash Viore

00:29:04.080 | or in the link in the show notes.

00:29:06.200 | Again, go to all the hacks dot com slash V U O R I

00:29:12.160 | and get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet.

00:29:17.480 | Getting the crew together isn't as easy as it used to be.

00:29:21.280 | I get it.

00:29:22.080 | Life comes at you fast.

00:29:23.800 | But trust me, your friends are probably desperate for a good hang.

00:29:27.600 | So kick 2024 off right by finally hosting that event.

00:29:31.640 | Just make sure you do it the easy way and let our sponsor Drizzly,

00:29:35.600 | the go to app for drink delivery, take care of the supplies.

00:29:39.040 | All you need to come up with is the excuse to get together.

00:29:42.120 | It doesn't even have to be a good one.

00:29:44.200 | It could be your dog's birthday, that the sun finally came out,

00:29:47.360 | or maybe you just want to celebrate that you got through another week.

00:29:50.840 | With Drizzly, you can make hosting easy by taking the drink run off your to do list,

00:29:55.520 | which means you can entice your friends to leave their houses without ever leaving yours.

00:30:00.400 | And since I know you like a good deal, Drizzly compares prices

00:30:03.640 | on their massive selection of beer, wine and spirits across multiple stores.

00:30:07.560 | So when I really wanted to make a few cocktails while we were hosting family

00:30:10.960 | last week, not only could I get an Italian Amaro delivered in less than an hour,

00:30:15.240 | but I found it for $15 less than my local liquor store.

00:30:18.600 | So whatever the occasion, download the Drizzly app or go to Drizzly dot com.

00:30:23.600 | That's D-R-I-Z-L-Y dot com today.

00:30:27.520 | Must be 21 plus not available in all locations.

00:30:30.880 | That hit everything except this looming topic of icebreakers,

00:30:35.160 | and I think anyone listening right now is kind of wondering, oh, gosh,

00:30:37.800 | what does Nick mean when he says icebreakers?

00:30:40.920 | Yeah. And why do icebreakers?

00:30:42.200 | Aren't those silly? Aren't those childish?

00:30:43.640 | Well, we do icebreakers because it's a short survey of the room.

00:30:48.760 | And icebreakers also not only give your guests excuses to go meet new people,

00:30:54.280 | which, by the way, that's why your party is going to be very successful.

00:30:58.440 | And that's why your friends will love you for hosting this,

00:31:01.120 | because you are going to help them meet new people.

00:31:04.240 | Most adults haven't made a new friend in the last three years.

00:31:07.920 | And yet, as we get older, we need friends more than ever, right?

00:31:11.320 | Friends become like a game of attrition.

00:31:13.480 | They have kids. They move. Things happen.

00:31:15.520 | We don't see people as often.

00:31:17.400 | Your party will be successful because all of your guests

00:31:20.400 | are going to talk to a lot of new people.

00:31:22.520 | How do we encourage that?

00:31:23.920 | By using these icebreakers.

00:31:25.840 | Icebreakers are a short survey of the room.

00:31:28.960 | Generally, you'll go around the circle.

00:31:30.760 | You say your name, you'll say what you do for work.

00:31:32.880 | If you don't want to say for work, you say something you're excited about.

00:31:35.960 | And then the third one, which is the icebreaker question.

00:31:38.440 | OK, so each icebreaker has three parts name, what you do for work,

00:31:42.280 | and then the icebreaker question, right?

00:31:44.600 | You'll do three rounds of icebreakers.

00:31:46.640 | I think of icebreakers as a green, yellow, red scaffolding

00:31:50.960 | where you would want to start your party with a green level icebreaker.

00:31:54.840 | A green level icebreaker.

00:31:57.000 | The one that I use that I suggest everybody use for the first one

00:32:00.120 | is what is one of your favorite things to eat for breakfast?

00:32:04.600 | So first, how does that hit with you?

00:32:08.560 | What are your thoughts?

00:32:09.240 | I'm ready for it.

00:32:09.880 | If you hate it, then tell me and I'll tell you why it's great.

00:32:12.400 | But I just want to hear your thoughts.

00:32:14.200 | I don't actually eat breakfast that often.

00:32:15.920 | So because because why not?

00:32:18.160 | Why don't you choose to eat breakfast?

00:32:19.520 | I don't know.

00:32:22.640 | You just skip. It's not for health reasons.

00:32:24.400 | You're not intermittent fasting.

00:32:25.400 | You just I'm just lazy.

00:32:26.840 | I have just I forget.

00:32:29.000 | Sometimes it's been intermittent fasting.

00:32:30.800 | Sometimes it's just one more thing to think about during the day.

00:32:33.600 | Now, when you do eat breakfast,

00:32:35.000 | what's one of your favorite things to eat for breakfast when you do?

00:32:37.120 | I mean, I do eat breakfast.

00:32:38.200 | It's usually some ridiculous make an amazing breakfast

00:32:41.080 | for the weekend kind of thing, like lemon ricotta pancakes.

00:32:43.960 | Are you lemon ricotta pancakes?

00:32:46.160 | Are you kidding me?

00:32:47.880 | That's like a go to once a month kind of thing in our house.

00:32:50.960 | I've asked this icebreaker hundreds of times.

00:32:54.120 | I've never heard somebody say lemon ricotta pancakes.

00:32:58.680 | That's incredible.

00:33:00.280 | So I think it's like I don't make a lot of breakfast.

00:33:02.080 | So if I do make breakfast, yeah, I'm going to step it up.

00:33:04.680 | And I have this recipe.

00:33:06.200 | Now I feel like I should put in the show notes that I think is just like

00:33:09.120 | every time I make these lemon ricotta pancakes and they're not that hard.

00:33:11.840 | It just wins every time.

00:33:13.640 | Wait, now I got to know how long does it take you to make?

00:33:16.160 | OK, look, if we're doing this at my party, I just want to show you right there

00:33:20.120 | what just happened.

00:33:21.200 | You expressed a piece of your personality that you share

00:33:24.640 | and you make your secret thing, lemon ricotta pancakes.

00:33:28.600 | Now, you might not always eat breakfast,

00:33:30.480 | but you did get to share when you do make breakfast what you make, OK?

00:33:34.320 | Everybody chooses or not chooses to eat breakfast every single day.

00:33:39.920 | And it is generally a positive, happy feeling that we have.

00:33:44.280 | A good green level icebreaker is an icebreaker that's quick to answer.

00:33:49.360 | It's fast and it doesn't incur judgment from others.

00:33:53.640 | A bad green icebreaker, which I would never do, would be something like,

00:33:58.960 | say your name, so what you do for work and say your favorite book ever.

00:34:02.880 | OK, because that's subjective.

00:34:06.120 | That's definitive.

00:34:07.880 | That's very hard to pick.

00:34:09.840 | It's going to maybe elicit a little bit of judgment.

00:34:12.040 | People are going to try to show off.

00:34:13.240 | They don't know.

00:34:14.600 | Now, how do we modify that? Right.

00:34:15.840 | It's what I said.

00:34:16.400 | What's one of your favorite things to eat for breakfast?

00:34:18.720 | I still wouldn't ask.

00:34:20.080 | What's one of your favorite books?

00:34:21.640 | I would ask that later because a book is an intellectual thing, right?

00:34:25.760 | Breakfast is a human delicious thing.

00:34:29.240 | It's a fun thing.

00:34:30.440 | It's an easy thing.

00:34:32.160 | So we ask that as just a way for everybody at your party

00:34:36.320 | to sort of sound off and express a piece of their personality.

00:34:39.960 | You do it very quick.

00:34:41.520 | A good icebreaker is a quick icebreaker.

00:34:43.520 | So you're not going to allow for follow up questions

00:34:45.680 | like I was drilling you on, right?

00:34:47.320 | You're just going to have everybody go around.

00:34:49.400 | And then you just say, all right, thanks, everybody.

00:34:52.200 | I do those icebreakers so we can all meet somebody new.

00:34:54.800 | Maybe I hope you'll say hello.

00:34:56.480 | And then you as a host shut up and you just let the party go,

00:35:00.960 | which is so awkward as a new host.

00:35:03.120 | If you've never done this, you're like, this is terrifying.

00:35:06.360 | But then you do it and the room explodes.

00:35:09.400 | It comes alive.

00:35:10.120 | People go up and they talk to new people.

00:35:12.040 | You turn the music back up and everybody's making these conversations.

00:35:15.520 | So we do that because most parties you go to, you just what?

00:35:19.480 | Like you went to your kid's birthday party recently.

00:35:21.600 | They didn't do icebreakers.

00:35:22.840 | Maybe you bumped into somebody and started the conversation.

00:35:26.040 | I'm guessing. Right.

00:35:27.160 | It's just physical prowess.

00:35:28.240 | Like don't let your kid drink that juice box

00:35:30.120 | because my daughter just threw it on the ground like that was our icebreakers.

00:35:33.760 | Yes, yes. And there's nothing wrong with those.

00:35:36.520 | Those are fine gatherings.

00:35:37.600 | But for listeners of your show, they're interested in how to get more out of life.

00:35:41.680 | They're interested in optimizing things.

00:35:43.720 | And as cliche and as ridiculous as it sounds to optimize your social situations,

00:35:49.440 | it does help if the goal is to help your friends make more friends,

00:35:52.880 | to do a survey of the room, do a couple of them during your party

00:35:56.760 | to give people excuses to go start a new conversation.

00:36:00.160 | Because, by the way, the other reason we do icebreakers

00:36:03.280 | is it gives people an easy excuse to end their conversations.

00:36:08.080 | So are you doing these like every 30 minutes you pop into an icebreaker

00:36:12.840 | and then turn it off?

00:36:14.800 | That's exactly right. You do them every 30 minutes.

00:36:16.720 | You're going to do them three times, two or three times.

00:36:19.280 | And they should only take five or so minutes.

00:36:22.600 | By the way, a hack that everybody needs to know the icebreakers.

00:36:25.880 | You have to be standing.

00:36:27.520 | You cannot let people sit down.

00:36:29.480 | It is the kryptonite to a successful.

00:36:32.080 | You can't do icebreakers sitting down.

00:36:33.880 | People ask follow up questions.

00:36:35.240 | They'll drone on a good icebreakers, a fast one.

00:36:38.200 | OK, you said you go from green to yellow to red.

00:36:41.520 | What are the more advanced ones?

00:36:43.000 | And because people are coming going, do you redo the names

00:36:45.800 | and the works each time?

00:36:47.840 | Yes. You redo the names.

00:36:49.240 | You do that for all of them.

00:36:50.600 | So your first icebreaker, I'll give them the details with you.

00:36:53.280 | Your first icebreaker.

00:36:54.560 | You're going to do when there's only five or six people who've shown up.

00:36:57.400 | And that is what I call lovingly the awkward zone at a party.

00:37:02.520 | It's the first 10 or 20 minutes when not many people are there.

00:37:06.280 | It's a little bit awkward.

00:37:08.480 | There's not enough energy in the room.

00:37:10.760 | You do the icebreaker to bust out of the awkward zone.

00:37:14.040 | You're going to do that same icebreaker about 20 minutes later

00:37:16.800 | when now everybody has arrived.

00:37:18.720 | And then 30 minutes later, you'll do your last and final icebreaker.

00:37:22.000 | And what I like to ask is, say your name, say what you do for work,

00:37:26.480 | and then say one of the favorite pieces of media

00:37:30.960 | that you've consumed over the last couple of months.

00:37:33.320 | That could be a show on Netflix.

00:37:35.600 | It could be a podcast like this.

00:37:37.120 | It could be a great book that you read, a long form article,

00:37:40.240 | a funny meme that you saw, a TikTok video, just a cool piece of media

00:37:44.680 | that you consumed and enjoyed.

00:37:47.200 | And Chris, this one works so well because everybody's sharing

00:37:50.680 | great recommendations for a book, a movie, something.

00:37:53.720 | And people are wanting to write down stuff.

00:37:55.800 | They're feeling smarter because everybody's sharing these great ideas.

00:37:59.800 | So I love that one.

00:38:01.240 | OK, what about that middle break?

00:38:02.720 | Any other tips for icebreakers beyond the two you shared?

00:38:05.640 | One more that you could do.

00:38:07.720 | And this is you've probably seen this online used for engagement bait.

00:38:10.920 | What is one of your favorite purchases of the last year?

00:38:14.000 | It could be a service or an activity, or it could be a physical object

00:38:17.680 | that you've purchased.

00:38:18.520 | Maybe it's a new car.

00:38:19.400 | Maybe it's a kitchen appliance.

00:38:21.120 | But what's one of your favorite purchases

00:38:23.160 | that's made your life better during the last year?

00:38:25.720 | And people love to show.

00:38:27.520 | I love this one. Yeah, that's good.

00:38:29.800 | OK, there's one more thing I tell you about this.

00:38:31.800 | OK. Reminder messages.

00:38:34.200 | You need to do three reminder messages leading up to your party

00:38:38.160 | to keep it top of mind.

00:38:40.320 | And you'll send those reminder messages, one of them

00:38:43.800 | one week before the party. Simple message.

00:38:46.240 | Hey, everybody, what's up? Excited to have you guys over.

00:38:48.240 | We'll see you next week on Wednesday night at 5 p.m.

00:38:51.160 | More details to come.

00:38:52.840 | OK, the next one you'll send is three days before your party.

00:38:57.680 | And for that one, you're going to use something I call guest bios

00:39:01.960 | and guest bios you're going to do for half or more of your attendees.

00:39:05.520 | It's a brief blurb about your guests.

00:39:09.200 | So for me, it could be Nick Gray recently moved to Austin, Texas.

00:39:13.400 | He lived in New York for 13 years.

00:39:15.320 | Ask him about green tea. Right.

00:39:17.880 | It's a quick little blurb or summary

00:39:21.360 | that you could pull from their LinkedIn or their Instagram

00:39:25.120 | or something like that.

00:39:26.520 | And it doesn't have to be 100% right.

00:39:28.240 | You're not asking for permission from other people to get this right.

00:39:31.840 | You're just writing some stuff to give these conversational access points

00:39:35.680 | and also to get them locked into attending and to give those sort of introverts

00:39:41.120 | or shy people an idea of who's going to be there,

00:39:43.960 | an idea of who they might want to talk to and to raise the excitement

00:39:47.800 | of all the other people as well.

00:39:50.000 | But not everyone. Just a few people.

00:39:52.040 | You don't have to do it, everyone.

00:39:53.240 | What I suggest is half or more.

00:39:55.680 | I'm more focused on the minimum. Don't do any less than half.

00:39:58.120 | So if you have 16 people coming, you need to do the minimum of eight.

00:40:02.000 | But don't feel that you have to do every single person.

00:40:04.520 | I generally feel more is better, but don't feel like it has to be work.

00:40:09.160 | You're not going to spend an hour writing this thing.

00:40:11.840 | It's just a quick little blurb.

00:40:14.520 | OK, so I think I got it handled.

00:40:16.640 | I think I'm ready to go. Good.

00:40:18.480 | Any follow up after?

00:40:19.680 | Do you try to get feedback on how it went?

00:40:21.560 | Yes. So right before you do your third round of icebreakers,

00:40:25.360 | you are going to do a group photo, right?

00:40:27.840 | A quick selfie. What's up, everybody?

00:40:29.400 | Turn around and take a selfie real quick.

00:40:31.000 | OK, group photo.

00:40:32.640 | The next morning you will send them a thank you message.

00:40:35.880 | Thanks, everybody, for coming.

00:40:37.560 | You include everybody on BCC.

00:40:39.200 | Thank you guys all for coming.

00:40:40.480 | Can I invite you next time? Right.

00:40:42.120 | Simple question.

00:40:42.840 | It's easy for them to say yes to.

00:40:44.240 | And you attach the group photo. That's it.

00:40:46.480 | That's all that you do. Yes, you can do surveys.

00:40:49.640 | That's an advanced level move.

00:40:51.520 | I don't recommend it yet.

00:40:53.520 | But yes, surveys are helpful as you start to host more.

00:40:56.160 | Any other advanced moves for people who are hearing this?

00:40:59.560 | And they're like, no, no, I'm ready for them now.

00:41:01.520 | Oh, gosh, I hesitate to say this.

00:41:04.280 | But yes, I will tell your listeners, but please don't do this first.

00:41:07.080 | Please do not do this first.

00:41:08.960 | OK. A popular theme that you can do.

00:41:12.280 | I'm trying to teach and I wrote this book and all this stuff that I'm sharing

00:41:16.640 | because this is an operating system to run events.

00:41:19.640 | You can use it at kids birthday parties.

00:41:22.120 | You can use it at a lot of different type of events.

00:41:24.720 | For your first one, just do a cocktail party.

00:41:27.640 | Don't try to get fancy.

00:41:28.920 | The one that is an absolute banger.

00:41:31.160 | Huge success is for your neighbors and friends to do a book swap.

00:41:36.280 | Everybody likes books.

00:41:38.960 | Everybody has extra books they want to get rid of.

00:41:42.120 | Everybody likes to get new books.

00:41:44.760 | A book swap is so easy.

00:41:47.080 | You use the same exact formula name what you do for work,

00:41:50.560 | but maybe instead of something else, you'd say,

00:41:52.720 | and tell us about one of the books that you brought. Right.

00:41:55.960 | Why is it a great book?

00:41:57.760 | This book swap thing, I'm telling you, I've had people do it

00:42:00.880 | and it's their most well attended event. So that's a good one.

00:42:03.880 | You can host a clothing swap.

00:42:05.600 | I have a formula for hosting a clothing swap.

00:42:07.880 | All of these things that you can do, you can do more thematic ones if you want.

00:42:12.760 | But those are sort of advanced level.

00:42:15.160 | Get the formula first.

00:42:17.200 | Most people have never run an icebreaker before.

00:42:19.600 | Can I tell you about how to run a good icebreaker? Yeah.

00:42:22.320 | So here's a key thing.

00:42:25.120 | A lot of people don't like icebreakers because the host, all right,

00:42:27.800 | we're going to do an icebreaker.

00:42:29.240 | Say your name and what you do and the worst first date you ever went on.

00:42:32.480 | Chris, you go first. Right.

00:42:34.320 | It's like terrible. It's so bad.

00:42:36.560 | It's a good example of a red level question

00:42:38.320 | where there's not enough rapport built up among people yet.

00:42:41.200 | So we wouldn't do that one.

00:42:42.920 | But a good icebreaker always has the host go first.

00:42:47.800 | Ask permission for who can go next and then indicate to the group

00:42:53.000 | which way the round of icebreakers would go.

00:42:55.360 | So as an example, if I was setting up the icebreaker, I would say.

00:42:58.880 | All right, so now we're going to do this round of icebreakers.

00:43:01.880 | You're going to say your name, what you do for work

00:43:04.000 | and one of your favorite things for breakfast.

00:43:05.440 | I will go first and then looking to my left.

00:43:08.640 | Chris, can we go to you next?

00:43:10.880 | And hopefully you'll say yes. I'll say great.

00:43:13.520 | So I will go first.

00:43:14.720 | We'll go to Chris next.

00:43:15.880 | And then we're going to go around the circle this way.

00:43:18.520 | It sounds childish.

00:43:20.120 | It sounds like I'm a clown telling multiple times

00:43:24.400 | the instructions and which way to go around.

00:43:27.040 | But it just makes the instructions crystal clear.

00:43:29.680 | It makes it run fast and it gives power to those.

00:43:33.120 | I don't know those people with social anxiety.

00:43:35.680 | I dated a woman who had a lot of social anxiety.

00:43:37.480 | And she said the more that I could know

00:43:39.080 | which way it was going, the less surprises, the better.

00:43:41.960 | I love it.

00:43:43.360 | Unfortunately, you are coming to San Francisco soon, but not later.

00:43:47.000 | So you won't get to see me do this in action.

00:43:49.480 | But I will let you know how it goes.

00:43:51.280 | And we'll maybe save some of those advanced tactics for later.

00:43:54.480 | I'm going to give one last thing.

00:43:55.640 | When you do your round icebreakers, I want your wife to stand next to you.

00:43:58.720 | And I want her to talk too much

00:44:02.120 | so that you can actually kind of cut her off.

00:44:05.200 | Why do you want to do that?

00:44:07.160 | Because then you can signal to everybody else

00:44:09.480 | that we're not going to use these icebreakers to drone on and on and talk too long.

00:44:13.160 | You can cut her off first.

00:44:14.760 | People will laugh a little bit.

00:44:16.680 | And I think that'll help.

00:44:18.600 | Or she can go first and cut me off.

00:44:20.600 | She could go first, but then she needs to facilitate it

00:44:23.280 | and she needs to be the one who is the facilitator.

00:44:25.520 | So, yes, absolutely.

00:44:27.000 | There's nothing worse than doing icebreakers and one person talks forever.

00:44:30.080 | So, yes, I'm a big fan of finding a way to politely show people

00:44:34.080 | that this is not a time to give a presentation.

00:44:36.600 | Yes, yes. And sometimes we have to do that.

00:44:39.120 | We have to lead a party with generous authority.

00:44:41.760 | And that means that what is best for the whole group

00:44:45.120 | is not always being ultra polite to one person.

00:44:49.120 | So with a successful cocktail party, what do you hope people feel after it?

00:44:52.840 | And what kind of comes out of this whole experience?

00:44:54.880 | A successful cocktail party has the energy in the room very high.

00:44:59.760 | And somebody leaves your party saying, wow, that was like the best party.

00:45:04.480 | That was awesome.

00:45:06.240 | And it's so simple.

00:45:07.280 | I got a message from a woman who just read my book

00:45:09.240 | and she hosted a party with name tags and icebreakers.

00:45:11.920 | And she said that night she and her husband got multiple text messages

00:45:16.080 | from friends saying that it was the best party that they'd ever thrown.

00:45:19.400 | Why? Because they just added a little structure to it.

00:45:22.840 | So what's the feeling?

00:45:24.480 | It's that feeling that when you're done hosting, you say that was awesome.

00:45:28.880 | And that was also easy.

00:45:30.760 | Like I could do that again, because I think we've all hosted parties

00:45:34.160 | where we're absolutely drained afterwards.

00:45:36.360 | And while it may have been a success, we never want to do it again.

00:45:39.480 | What's the energy that your guests have?

00:45:42.000 | It's that they met so many people.

00:45:44.320 | They had a really great time.

00:45:45.680 | You let them go early, right?

00:45:48.000 | They didn't feel like they had to.

00:45:49.120 | Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:45:50.240 | We have to see that.

00:45:50.960 | No, you're telling them they got to go get out of here.

00:45:53.760 | You're ending it while it's going great.

00:45:56.040 | I want to turn to talk about this business.

00:45:57.960 | You started Museum Hack.

00:45:59.440 | And my understanding is you started a little accidentally

00:46:02.200 | and you became a lover of museums, not intentionally.

00:46:06.280 | And you probably started on the other end of the spectrum.

00:46:08.240 | How did this all come about?

00:46:10.080 | Yeah, I hate most museums.

00:46:11.800 | I think they're really boring

00:46:13.480 | and they just don't have anything to do with me.

00:46:15.720 | I didn't grow up going to museums.

00:46:17.000 | I think they're stupid.

00:46:17.760 | However, I lived in New York City where they had the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

00:46:21.400 | And it's a big museum.

00:46:22.720 | Have you been to the Met?

00:46:23.920 | I haven't.

00:46:24.880 | OK, it's enormous.

00:46:25.720 | It's the most popular museum in America.

00:46:27.560 | It's 2.3 million square feet.

00:46:29.600 | It takes up 11 acres of Central Park.

00:46:32.000 | It's enormous and it's overwhelming.

00:46:34.240 | And for many New Yorkers, it's just a tourist attraction.

00:46:36.880 | It's not a place they have a relationship with.

00:46:38.800 | This woman brought me there on a romantic date and she showed me things.

00:46:43.120 | And she talked to me at my level, which I have like a third grade reading level.

00:46:47.560 | And so she just sort of talked to me like, wow, look at these

00:46:51.360 | Egyptian artifacts, sculpture, furniture, paintings.

00:46:54.400 | And so I started to go back to the museum because I was like,

00:46:58.080 | I think I moved in New York to hang out at places like this.

00:47:01.000 | And so I'd go to the museum and just explore.

00:47:03.440 | I'd look things up on Wikipedia.

00:47:04.840 | I'd watch YouTube videos.

00:47:06.520 | And I started to do these tours for my friends,

00:47:09.000 | just showing them around when they'd come visit.

00:47:11.520 | And they became like a famous thing because my tours were basically

00:47:15.360 | 10 cool things I found and three things I wanted to steal.

00:47:18.800 | Not like a narrative arc of art history, just cool stuff I found.

00:47:22.720 | And then it became very famous and celebrities started to come.

00:47:27.040 | And I hired some tour guides to lead the tours.

00:47:29.760 | And what was special was Museum Hack would hire Broadway actors

00:47:34.520 | and stand up comedians to be the tour guides instead of the museum volunteers.

00:47:39.480 | And they would work for me, not for the museum.

00:47:42.120 | And so they would tell the juicy backstories about the art,

00:47:45.960 | about how much the art cost, about stories of the donors,

00:47:50.680 | things like that, that people wanted to hear.

00:47:52.960 | And so that was our whole thing was attracting new audiences

00:47:56.040 | into these storied museums.

00:47:58.800 | Obviously, people can go take a Museum Hack tour,

00:48:01.120 | which is still running as a business.

00:48:02.920 | But if someone asked me the question, how do you do a museum?

00:48:05.960 | I don't feel like I would have the answer.

00:48:07.680 | You would. And I feel like you have a better answer.

00:48:09.920 | Yeah, I'll tell your listeners exactly how to visit a museum.

00:48:12.400 | And they're in San Francisco. Have you been to the Legion of Honor?

00:48:14.800 | I have. Yeah, it's a nice museum, right?

00:48:16.920 | That one and the DeYoung are two really nice museums there.

00:48:19.800 | So here's how to visit.

00:48:20.960 | Here's exactly from all my time.

00:48:22.760 | And I've been to the Metropolitan Museum of Art more than a thousand times.

00:48:25.480 | And I've been to many other museums.

00:48:27.640 | Here is how you should go about experiencing a museum for the first time.

00:48:33.120 | So you're going to a new museum, any museum, or is it, you know,

00:48:36.680 | specific categories work better than others for this?

00:48:39.120 | This applies to any museum.

00:48:41.120 | Museum Hack, in my opinion, works best for art museums.

00:48:45.160 | But the thing, the hack, the special sauce I'm about to tell you,

00:48:49.680 | the way to approach works for any museum.

00:48:52.640 | And here's what you're going to do.

00:48:54.440 | As soon as you get there, you're going to go in right where you buy your ticket.

00:48:58.200 | You'll get a map and you are going to walk the entire floor plan

00:49:02.760 | and you're not going to stop.

00:49:05.520 | You're not going to stop and look at it.

00:49:07.720 | I don't care if you love it. You're not going to stop.

00:49:09.720 | You can circle it on the map and you'll come back later.

00:49:11.800 | But you're not going to stop.

00:49:13.880 | You're going to walk the entire floor plan

00:49:16.520 | to build a mental map of the space and to know where you want to go back to later.

00:49:22.640 | So first, you'll walk the entire floor plan.

00:49:25.600 | It could take you between five and 45 minutes, depending how big it is.

00:49:29.720 | You will then go to the museum cafe.

00:49:33.080 | Almost all museums have a cafe.

00:49:35.560 | If they don't have a cafe, you can just sit down

00:49:37.720 | and you're going to take a little break.

00:49:39.520 | I like to go there and I like to get a cup of coffee.

00:49:42.280 | You can get a glass of wine if you want and you get a little snack.

00:49:45.520 | You're going to replenish your glycogen or your glucose or whatever.

00:49:49.720 | You're just going to have some carbs, maybe some sugar to build up

00:49:53.600 | your energy store to go back now that you've seen everything briefly.

00:49:58.560 | You will now go back and look closer at the things that captured

00:50:02.320 | your mind and interest.

00:50:03.440 | What happens to many people, why we do this is have you ever done this?

00:50:06.680 | You go to a new museum and you waste all of your cognitive load

00:50:11.080 | and looking energy on things that you don't even want to look at

00:50:15.000 | because the best stuff sometimes is at the very end.

00:50:17.240 | The stuff that you're most excited about.

00:50:19.520 | And by the time you get to that stuff, you're tired and you're exhausted.

00:50:22.360 | So the way to do it is to walk through the entire floor plan.

00:50:25.360 | Do not stop at anything.

00:50:26.680 | Circle things on the map, go to the cafe, take a break

00:50:29.760 | and then go back and look closer and deeper at the things you're curious about.

00:50:34.240 | And how long would you tell someone to budget for a trip to a museum?

00:50:38.040 | I personally can't spend more than two hours.

00:50:40.600 | I think that this is one of the biggest things that I changed.

00:50:43.840 | A lot of my friends thinking about is that you don't have to go

00:50:47.560 | try to get every single dollar's worth and stay there as long as possible.

00:50:52.000 | I can spend about two hours at a museum before I get tired.

00:50:55.160 | This is a real thing.

00:50:56.720 | Getting tired at a museum, it's called gallery fatigue.

00:51:00.160 | It happens because we're not in an activated space.

00:51:04.080 | We're quiet. We're thinking we don't know how we're supposed to act.

00:51:07.560 | It can be stressful sometimes.

00:51:09.440 | So I spend about two hours total.

00:51:11.480 | OK, so about half that time is a run through and a cafe.

00:51:16.480 | And then the other half is actually spending time in the things you're interested in.

00:51:20.160 | Yes, yes, yes.

00:51:21.120 | Sometimes if I go to a museum for two hours, I'll spend an hour in the cafe

00:51:25.720 | because I just want to go approach it with a strategy.

00:51:29.280 | And many times we don't have a strategy

00:51:31.160 | when we go into a new physical space like a museum.

00:51:33.320 | We're just walking where our body takes us and we're looking.

00:51:37.080 | And before we know it, we've wasted an hour and we're tired

00:51:40.360 | and we didn't even get to go see the really cool stuff

00:51:42.720 | that's on the second floor back in the modern way.

00:51:45.160 | And could you do that from the map at home or do you need to be there?

00:51:49.760 | I think you need to be there because you need to walk it.

00:51:52.880 | You need to physically get in your body and see the stuff firsthand.

00:51:57.120 | For example, I love that the Metropolitan Museum of Art,

00:52:00.000 | there's this beautiful green sofa.

00:52:02.480 | It's not going to be on any of the museum website or featured top galleries.

00:52:07.200 | I don't know why I like it, but it was owned by the King of Spain or something.

00:52:10.760 | And I love that thing.

00:52:12.160 | And you're not going to find that when you do the museum's website

00:52:14.680 | tour of the galleries.

00:52:16.520 | Do you have some favorite museums?

00:52:17.880 | If you've been to the Met a thousand times, I imagine when you're in a new city,

00:52:21.320 | how could you help yourself from going to check out a new museum?

00:52:23.640 | Yeah, I love to go to new museums.

00:52:25.680 | So the Metropolitan Museum of Art is my favorite in the whole world.

00:52:28.400 | And it's what's called an encyclopedic museum.

00:52:31.200 | That means there's many different galleries and curatorial departments.

00:52:35.360 | So I love encyclopedic museums, maybe similar to the Legion of Honor

00:52:39.800 | there in San Francisco, in Washington, D.C.

00:52:42.440 | I like the National Gallery.

00:52:43.920 | I like the enormous big museums

00:52:46.760 | because they have a little something for everyone.

00:52:49.720 | And using my strategy maybe will help your visitors

00:52:53.360 | approach these really big museums that can be so intimidating

00:52:57.160 | to feel like you don't have to get it all in at once.

00:53:00.240 | It's OK to leave and not see everything.

00:53:03.360 | What about deals on going to museums?

00:53:05.800 | I feel like running Museum Hack while the whole brand

00:53:08.760 | wasn't getting a deal on getting into museums, what have you found in that space?

00:53:12.240 | For deals, I could tell you how to beat the line

00:53:15.360 | so I can tell people how to skip the line.

00:53:17.480 | Deals, it's really. Oh, yes. Oh, my God.

00:53:19.480 | Wait, I completely forgot I have the best deal ever.

00:53:23.120 | I've won. Oh, my God.

00:53:24.920 | I have the best.

00:53:25.720 | I hope I'm not blowing out my mic levels being too loud.

00:53:28.320 | I have the best hack ever.

00:53:31.000 | And don't put this in the show notes.

00:53:33.760 | There is a membership called the American Alliance of Museums.

00:53:38.600 | It's essentially an industry trade group for museums in America.

00:53:44.240 | You can join as a non-employee.

00:53:47.200 | It's called a friend of the association or something.

00:53:49.680 | It's called AAM, American Alliance of Museums.

00:53:53.640 | You can join as a friend of the association for under $100 per year.

00:53:58.640 | It will grant you access, a free ticket

00:54:02.200 | to almost every single museum in America.

00:54:05.440 | Wow. Do not blow up my spot.

00:54:08.120 | Don't blow up my spot.

00:54:09.160 | American Alliance of Museums.

00:54:10.880 | It's like the friend membership or something.

00:54:12.960 | It should be $100 or less.

00:54:14.720 | And me and my friends have done this for many years.

00:54:17.160 | Now, you should also support if you're listening to museums.

00:54:20.040 | I'm not trying to scam people out of how to pay

00:54:24.200 | for these culture institutions that largely are underfunded.

00:54:27.000 | I want to tell you about this, though, so that you feel like

00:54:30.480 | you can go to a museum for an hour and fall in love with it.

00:54:34.400 | And you can go multiple times.

00:54:35.680 | You can buy this and go to the Legion of Honor for 45 minutes.

00:54:38.360 | And hopefully you'll fall in love with it and buy a membership

00:54:41.240 | and support it in other ways.

00:54:43.920 | I just want to thank you quick for listening to and supporting the show.

00:54:47.320 | Your support is what keeps this show going to get all of the URLs, codes,

00:54:52.680 | deals and discounts from our partners.

00:54:54.880 | You can go to all the hacks dot com slash deals.

00:54:58.120 | So please consider supporting those who support us.

00:55:01.520 | What about skipping the lines?

00:55:03.000 | You said there was another thing for skipping the lines.

00:55:05.480 | Yes. So for skipping the lines, some museums have additional entrances.

00:55:10.680 | Major museums like the Metropolitan Museum of Art

00:55:13.120 | will have an education entrance that's for school groups and other things.

00:55:17.720 | At the Metropolitan Museum in New York City, there is almost always

00:55:21.960 | an enormous line out the main entrance, but no line at the education entrance.

00:55:27.880 | Doesn't mean you have to be part of a school group to use that entrance.

00:55:31.200 | You can just go in and buy a ticket like normal.

00:55:33.760 | That's another hack.

00:55:36.000 | Love it. The one hack I want to share.

00:55:38.800 | It's not for everyone, literally, because it's a Capital One related deal right now.

00:55:43.200 | But I mentioned this in the last episode, but since this is all about museums,

00:55:48.640 | if you have a Capital One card, I think for almost the next year,

00:55:53.400 | it's until June 2024, I think you can with any Capital One membership

00:55:57.960 | get a six month membership to this site called the Cultivist,

00:56:01.240 | which gives you and three guests access to 100 museums around the world.

00:56:05.960 | I know it includes the Louvre, the Guggenheim, the MoMA and a lot more.

00:56:09.800 | After that six months, you have to pay $40 a month if you like it

00:56:12.720 | and you want to keep going. Great.

00:56:14.000 | But there is a six month free membership that I'd recommend

00:56:17.000 | anyone with a Capital One card check out.

00:56:19.000 | And I'll put that in the show notes as well.

00:56:21.760 | Great one.

00:56:22.640 | And then the other one, most museum memberships are all tax

00:56:25.840 | deductible donations. Yes.

00:56:27.600 | Most museum tickets are not.

00:56:29.800 | So if you ever see that thing where it's like, buy your ticket,

00:56:32.600 | you can apply the cost of your ticket to your membership.

00:56:35.120 | Technically, the ticket price is not a deductible contribution,

00:56:38.640 | but the incremental cost is.

00:56:40.200 | So if you're going to join, join before you buy the tickets.

00:56:42.320 | But we looked into it.

00:56:43.720 | And after you factor in the deduction you get for making a contribution,

00:56:48.360 | it was cheaper for us to buy a one year membership to the Academy of Sciences,

00:56:52.040 | which allowed us a certain number of guests

00:56:54.760 | than it was to actually just buy the tickets the day of. Yes.

00:56:57.960 | So in many cases, that's true, which has now resulted in us

00:57:01.720 | being members of the Oakland Zoo, the Academy of Sciences,

00:57:05.880 | a place called Curiosity on the peninsula,

00:57:08.280 | which is kind of like half kid science museum, half zoo.

00:57:11.000 | So I feel like we're collecting memberships because it turns out

00:57:14.040 | that factoring in the cost, it actually ends up being about the same cost

00:57:17.960 | as going sometimes once, sometimes twice, but almost never more than two times.

00:57:22.280 | It's really not that expensive.

00:57:24.920 | You're exactly right to join at the lowest level for many of these institutions

00:57:28.760 | with unlimited membership.

00:57:30.280 | I'll tell you something else for your listeners, a hack

00:57:32.360 | for many of these organizations, the biggest ones I'm talking about

00:57:36.600 | in major cities, New York, Chicago, D.C.,

00:57:39.400 | Seattle, Denver, big, big cities.

00:57:42.440 | Their art museums and sometimes science museums

00:57:46.040 | will have something called a young members program,

00:57:50.480 | young patrons program, something like that,

00:57:54.480 | that typically goes after members 45 or 40 and younger.

00:58:00.680 | And gives you extremely VIP access

00:58:04.720 | at a disturbingly discount rate.

00:58:07.920 | I'll give you an example in New York City at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

00:58:11.200 | There was something called the Apollo Circle Group

00:58:14.360 | that was a thousand dollars a year.

00:58:16.440 | Now you might think, wow, that is expensive.

00:58:17.960 | It is expensive for some people that gave you once a month

00:58:22.280 | after hours parties at the museum

00:58:26.120 | with incredible past appetizers, open bar, private tours from the curators.

00:58:31.520 | Insane level of access that for older members,

00:58:36.280 | they were charging five, 10, 15, 20 thousand dollars a year.

00:58:39.440 | But they subsidize this for young people, hoping that you will develop

00:58:43.640 | a long term relationship and donate a lot more.

00:58:46.080 | So young patrons programs at these museums.

00:58:49.320 | The key word would be to ask if you're looking to buy a membership

00:58:53.080 | and you're curious about this, say, oh, what type of young patrons

00:58:56.480 | memberships might you have?

00:58:58.040 | And I forgot about Bank of America.

00:58:59.960 | If you have a Bank of America card, I think the first weekend of every month,

00:59:04.320 | you can go to a ton of museums around the country for free.

00:59:07.600 | Yes, I know.

00:59:08.640 | In San Francisco, it includes the Legion of Honor in the DeYoung Museum.

00:59:11.760 | Even like a free Bank of America checking account would, I think, qualify.

00:59:15.280 | If I remember correctly, that's another one.

00:59:17.000 | I'll link to that in the show notes.

00:59:19.120 | With Museum Hack, you probably talk to lots of people and learn a lot about

00:59:22.520 | planning tours, booking tours.

00:59:24.320 | What do you do if you're in a new country and you want to find a tour?

00:59:27.800 | Do you have a way to do that that cuts through the noise and finds the best tours?

00:59:32.080 | I'll tell you right now, the people that are killing it are Airbnb experiences.

00:59:38.160 | Have you done an Airbnb experience?

00:59:40.680 | We've done a bunch of virtual ones that were kind of company

00:59:43.720 | organized events during COVID.

00:59:46.040 | No way.

00:59:46.560 | You got to do the real in-person Airbnb experience.

00:59:49.920 | And I would even challenge you

00:59:52.240 | to set up a date night with your wife and do one of them in San Francisco

00:59:56.000 | on the Airbnb experiences.

00:59:57.680 | The problem is now they're spamming them a lot with these photo things

01:00:01.640 | where they're just trying to juice for photos.

01:00:03.680 | Skip all of those.

01:00:05.040 | I'm looking for food tours and walking tours

01:00:07.600 | that have an average rating above 4.9 with at least 25 reviews.

01:00:13.480 | Generally, you're going to get some really good tour guides.

01:00:16.680 | And what I like about that is they're empowered tour guides

01:00:19.720 | that have set up their own businesses that are going to be very passionate.

01:00:22.560 | So I like Airbnb experiences, and I will generally schedule it.

01:00:26.240 | The first thing I do to a city, because then I can ask the guide for advice.

01:00:29.720 | Awesome.

01:00:30.800 | This show isn't usually a show about someone's story,

01:00:34.480 | their resume and that kind of stuff.

01:00:36.360 | But I looked and I was like, "Oh, you sold your company. Cool."

01:00:38.600 | You know, a lot of shows would be like, "Tell me about that."

01:00:41.240 | I wasn't that interested for the purpose of this show.

01:00:44.200 | And then I saw that it was actually a very interesting way you sold your company.

01:00:47.400 | Something that I think most people probably as business owners

01:00:50.760 | wouldn't think of and most people as employees wouldn't think of.

01:00:53.600 | And so I would love to just hear the quick version of that

01:00:57.120 | and how it's gone, because I thought it was something that at least

01:01:00.440 | one person listening might get a lot out of hearing.

01:01:02.640 | Yes, I sold my last company, Museum Hack, to my then CEO and marketing director.

01:01:09.680 | They came to me with an offer to buy the business.

01:01:12.680 | I never thought that I would sell it.

01:01:14.280 | It didn't seem like a business you could really sell to somebody.

01:01:17.040 | And I sold it to them using seller financing.

01:01:19.800 | What that means is that they put zero money down and they said,

01:01:23.680 | "Look, we're just going to run the business like we've been doing.

01:01:26.400 | And yet we will pay you off over five years from all the profits.

01:01:30.920 | So you get to lock in five years of profits of the business

01:01:34.600 | and have zero responsibility."

01:01:37.200 | And so that's how I sold the business.

01:01:39.240 | And they've done so much better than I ever could have done.

01:01:41.960 | They've taken the business to new places and it was a big win for everybody.

01:01:46.200 | That's great.

01:01:46.680 | There's an episode I think you've done on a podcast about it

01:01:49.280 | that I listened to briefly.

01:01:50.400 | I'll link to that in the show notes.

01:01:51.520 | But I just thought it was a cool story because most small business sales,

01:01:55.440 | nobody really talks about how that works.

01:01:57.080 | And this was a different one.

01:01:58.120 | Yeah, it was super unique.

01:01:59.360 | And it now would give me the opportunity to do a lot of traveling myself,

01:02:02.800 | which I do have some questions for you about traveling myself

01:02:06.480 | whenever it's appropriate.

01:02:07.840 | OK, so Nick ended up asking some great questions

01:02:10.520 | about round trip versus one way flights, getting flight refunds,

01:02:14.120 | using chase points on Southwest, avoiding jet lag and travel gadgets.

01:02:18.000 | We also talked about where we'd go

01:02:19.760 | if we magically got a free weekend vacation without kids.

01:02:22.680 | I got Nick's take on his trips to Kyrgyzstan and the Azores,

01:02:25.960 | two places I've never been.

01:02:27.960 | And I shared why we ended up deciding on an au pair versus other

01:02:31.640 | child care options.

01:02:32.960 | However, despite that, those questions were really great

01:02:36.120 | since it was a bit off topic and ended up going almost half an hour.

01:02:39.240 | I'm going to release it as a bonus episode this Friday.

01:02:42.320 | So come back and check it out then.

01:02:44.120 | And now back to the conversation.

01:02:45.840 | You run a friend's newsletter,

01:02:49.080 | and I think I've seen you write that everyone should you talk about it?

01:02:52.120 | I think everyone should have a friend's newsletter.

01:02:54.560 | When you were growing up, did your parents send like an annual

01:02:58.160 | Christmas card or holiday card with family updates?

01:03:01.400 | My grandparents always did.

01:03:03.520 | Your grandparents always did. All right.

01:03:05.560 | And what would be in that card?

01:03:07.160 | It was just here's everything we and all of our kids

01:03:10.720 | and grandkids families did this year. Yes. Yes.

01:03:13.800 | My friend's newsletter came out of that tradition.

01:03:16.440 | My parents were in the military.

01:03:18.160 | And so that idea of giving this annual status update

01:03:21.880 | before social media, where we do daily status updates,

01:03:24.960 | that annual status update was something I wanted to do

01:03:28.000 | on a quarterly basis for my friends.

01:03:30.240 | But I tried to add value.

01:03:32.200 | So it wasn't just about me.

01:03:33.960 | I'd include a nice Netflix show.

01:03:35.840 | I'd seen a great movie or a book.

01:03:38.000 | I'm making recommendations for my friends about cool stuff.

01:03:41.000 | And I started it just every quarter sending to my friends,

01:03:45.000 | throwing them on BCC, adding a little note.

01:03:47.640 | Hey, if you don't want to get this, just write me back.

01:03:49.400 | We'll still be friends. I won't be offended.

01:03:51.440 | And it has been so powerful and helpful to me.

01:03:53.960 | I'd encourage everybody to think about starting a friend's newsletter.

01:03:57.160 | In many ways, the origin of the all the hacks newsletter

01:04:01.200 | was that many, many years ago, how I started this newsletter

01:04:05.680 | called Life Updates, and it was like once a year,

01:04:07.840 | a life update of what I was up to.

01:04:09.640 | And then every time I started some new project, like somewhat

01:04:13.280 | folded them together and it kind of evolved and evolved.

01:04:15.800 | And some people have been on it since then.

01:04:18.000 | Some people have obviously just found out about it since launching the podcast.

01:04:21.440 | What things when you were sending that newsletter?

01:04:24.640 | Think back to the earliest days, for example.

01:04:27.280 | I can't talk about this now, but I added people who didn't ask to be added.

01:04:33.600 | I just sort of spammed my friends a little bit.

01:04:36.120 | And that helped me get started, to be honest.

01:04:38.520 | But I'll tell you what, if I did 100 friends and if five of them

01:04:42.320 | were mad that I spammed them, the other 95 were not mad.

01:04:46.960 | And some weren't even happy to receive my updates.

01:04:49.800 | So because everyone likes to travel, I love to ask every one of my guests

01:04:52.920 | to pick a place anywhere in the world that they know well

01:04:55.560 | and tell someone who's there what they should do, what they should eat,

01:04:59.880 | where they should have a drink and kind of give them a few ideas.

01:05:02.120 | All right, because I spent 13 years there, I'm going to say New York City,

01:05:05.400 | but I'm going to give some new ideas that maybe people may not have heard elsewhere.

01:05:08.920 | Number one, the second best park in New York City.

01:05:11.960 | The first best, obviously being Central Park.

01:05:14.200 | The second best park in New York City is Washington Square Park.

01:05:18.240 | It is a locals only filled with characters.

01:05:21.840 | The vibes are immaculate.

01:05:23.920 | You can go almost any time for people watching.

01:05:26.600 | And it's very centrally located there at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

01:05:30.160 | I mentioned that there's two entrances.

01:05:32.600 | There's two entrances at the Met.

01:05:34.520 | You, listeners, can take the entrance at 81st Street to skip the lines.

01:05:39.680 | Now, when else should you go to the Met?

01:05:41.720 | Well, on Friday and Saturday nights, because the Met stays open late till nine o'clock.

01:05:45.640 | Most people do not know this.

01:05:47.200 | I would suggest arriving at seven and you can enjoy the museum

01:05:51.280 | almost all to yourself.

01:05:53.120 | So I would suggest that before the Met, why don't you go to Central Park

01:05:56.280 | and go to my favorite place in Central Park called Sheep Meadow?

01:06:00.320 | Sheep Meadow is a sprawling green area with skyscraper views.

01:06:04.960 | It's a great place to have a picnic.

01:06:07.320 | Really the best place in Central Park, in my opinion.

01:06:10.000 | And then the last thing that I'll suggest is if you want a fun activity

01:06:13.760 | in New York City, I'm not sponsored, but there's a thing called Scott's Pizza Tour.

01:06:18.120 | Scott is a classic tour guide in New York City,

01:06:21.720 | and he has a whole network of guides where they show you the behind

01:06:25.040 | the scenes of how the pizza is made and things like that.

01:06:27.440 | I love that place. Scott's Pizza Tour.

01:06:29.840 | That's awesome.

01:06:30.800 | You've written about a ton of things on your blog,

01:06:32.920 | everything from Chrome extensions, you love using a virtual assistant,

01:06:36.560 | saving money, buying a car.

01:06:38.360 | I had this lofty dream of getting to all of these topics.

01:06:41.080 | We're not going to do that.

01:06:42.080 | I definitely recommend people check out the book, check out the blog.

01:06:45.120 | Where else can people find you online?

01:06:47.440 | What do you want them to check out before we wrap?

01:06:49.720 | So I wrote a book called The Two Hour Cocktail Party.

01:06:52.120 | If you like this show, it's incredibly tactical and practical

01:06:55.240 | with a lot of specific instructions.

01:06:57.400 | And the name of that book is called The Two Hour Cocktail Party.

01:07:00.360 | If you go to my book website, www.party.pro,

01:07:07.600 | www.party.pro, you can get a free two page party checklist

01:07:12.960 | that includes an executive summary of my book with all that you need to know.

01:07:16.800 | And you can download that there.

01:07:17.960 | It's like a PDF file.

01:07:19.200 | And then I do have a friend's newsletter, which I think is like my favorite

01:07:22.600 | newsletter.

01:07:23.320 | Nobody likes to read my friend's newsletter more than I do.

01:07:26.160 | And it's great.

01:07:27.280 | Some people say it's one of their favorite newsletters

01:07:29.360 | after the All the Hacks newsletter, of course.

01:07:31.280 | And you can find that on my website, which is www.nickgray.net

01:07:35.720 | n-e-t, nickgray.net.

01:07:40.520 | And on social media, I'm @nickgraynews.

01:07:43.280 | And the show notes will include how to host a clothing swap,

01:07:46.360 | how to host a happy hour, how to plan a networking event.

01:07:48.960 | Other ideas that you can use to just bring people together.

01:07:52.080 | Oh, here's the last thing I'll say.

01:07:54.080 | All the stuff I've taught about is not rocket science.

01:07:56.920 | Hosting a party is something anyone can learn,

01:07:59.920 | but no one really teaches us how to throw a well-run event.

01:08:03.240 | This is something you can learn and you can become good at.

01:08:06.200 | That just might change your life.

01:08:08.640 | I love it. Thank you so much for being here.

01:08:10.720 | Thanks for having me.

01:08:12.440 | I really hope you enjoyed this episode.

01:08:15.960 | Thank you so much for listening.

01:08:17.760 | As I mentioned earlier, you can catch the great travel questions

01:08:20.720 | Nick and I discussed in a short bonus episode on Friday.

01:08:24.240 | And if you haven't already left a rating or review for the show in Apple Podcasts,

01:08:27.840 | I'd really appreciate it.

01:08:29.560 | I'm on a quest to get to a thousand reviews.

01:08:31.600 | And every single one means so much to me.

01:08:33.800 | Thank you so much to everyone who's already written one.

01:08:36.480 | Finally, if you have any feedback on the show, questions for me

01:08:39.880 | or just want to say hi, I'm Chris and all the hacks.

01:08:42.720 | Or you can DM me on social.

01:08:44.520 | See you Friday.

01:08:45.160 | [music]

01:08:52.160 | [music]

01:08:57.160 | [music]