When Worldly “Freedoms” Become Sinister Shackles
00:00:00.000 | For the first time ever in the United States, unmarried women outnumber married women.
00:00:10.520 | And when I read the literature on this phenomenon, Pastor John, what is often applauded is the
00:00:15.080 | liberation of women who have escaped the cultural norms of the shackles of marriage and expectations
00:00:21.160 | of children in order to be free from these so-called oppressions.
00:00:27.120 | That's putting it rather bluntly, but that's the tenor of the literature.
00:00:31.360 | There are other factors here, of course, including male immaturity.
00:00:35.400 | For now, the freedom language is very thick.
00:00:38.120 | That's what I want to address here today in this episode, because the more books I read,
00:00:41.960 | the more I sincerely don't think that modern day feminists know that 1 Corinthians 7 exists
00:00:49.160 | and that the Bible commends lifelong singleness on purpose, for a purpose, of course.
00:00:55.540 | But many feminists seem to assume that the default position of the Bible and the Church
00:00:58.660 | is that all women are to find meaning and purpose in marriage, and that's simply not
00:01:03.840 | exclusively true.
00:01:05.320 | So how would you explain 1 Corinthians 7 and Paul's words to unmarried women to the women's
00:01:10.360 | liberation movement today?
00:01:12.400 | Well, I don't know if this is going to get at it exactly the way you would get at it.
00:01:18.120 | You should probably do this podcast, because you've clearly thought a lot about this, so
00:01:23.160 | that's great.
00:01:24.160 | But I sat here and I thought, "Let me come at 1 Corinthians 7 in a roundabout way, and
00:01:32.720 | I think if I do it this way, it might open up people to some unexpected things in the
00:01:39.000 | chapter that they're not as familiar with."
00:01:43.400 | It seems to me that we are trying to avoid a misunderstanding on two fronts.
00:01:49.820 | On one front is the misunderstanding of marriage as bondage and oppression, and on the other
00:01:57.380 | front is the misunderstanding of singleness as liberation and freedom.
00:02:03.940 | But the reality is that pursuing the unfettered autonomy of singleness may be a deeper bondage,
00:02:15.240 | and embracing the sorrows of a disappointing marriage may be a more profound freedom.
00:02:22.780 | Now, of course, that way of talking, that way of seeing the world makes no sense to
00:02:31.000 | those who define freedom as doing whatever you feel like doing when you feel like doing
00:02:38.160 | it.
00:02:39.160 | But thoughtful people don't define freedom or liberation that way.
00:02:44.380 | That kind of freedom will get children killed by running out in the street or putting their
00:02:51.100 | finger in an electric socket because they feel like it right now.
00:02:55.860 | It doesn't matter what anybody else says.
00:02:58.580 | That kind of freedom leads to thousands of free people being in the state penitentiary.
00:03:04.800 | It leads to thousands more being in bondage to venereal disease and thousands more leaving
00:03:11.420 | a carnage of broken relationships behind them.
00:03:16.940 | Doing what you feel like doing when you feel like doing it has never proved to be a life
00:03:24.220 | of liberation, but only bondage.
00:03:28.680 | True freedom isn't just doing what you want to do, period.
00:03:34.460 | It's doing what you want to do and wanting what you ought to do.
00:03:41.820 | In other words, there's something crucial that defines freedom underneath "want to"
00:03:49.760 | and "feel like," namely "ought to" and "the person you were meant to be."
00:03:57.900 | And of course, as soon as you bring an "ought to" onto the table or a "person you were
00:04:05.860 | made to be," we're confronted immediately with a higher or deeper authority than ourselves,
00:04:15.260 | namely God.
00:04:18.700 | There can be no true freedom when a person tries to ignore God's design for their life,
00:04:28.220 | just like there's no true freedom if you try to ignore the law of gravity.
00:04:33.520 | If you jump off a cliff, you may feel the exhilaration of freedom for three or four
00:04:41.180 | seconds, then you die.
00:04:44.980 | And living your life without reference to God is like jumping off a cliff.
00:04:49.500 | It just takes a little longer to hit bottom, but you will.
00:04:53.940 | So now we come to 1 Corinthians 7.
00:04:56.700 | Yes, it does have to do with 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul deals with two issues.
00:05:04.700 | One is marriage and singleness, and the other is slaves who get converted to Jesus, and
00:05:13.220 | the question is whether they should stay in their present condition or not.
00:05:17.280 | And it's very interesting to me that those two issues happen to land interwoven in the
00:05:24.940 | same chapter.
00:05:27.300 | So he says to slaves—this is going to be relevant for marriage and singleness—he
00:05:31.580 | says to slaves, "Were you a slave when called," that is, called to be a Christian, "do not
00:05:37.140 | be concerned about it," and then Parentis says, "but if you can, get your freedom,
00:05:41.780 | avail yourself of it, for the reason you shouldn't be too concerned about spending your life,
00:05:47.380 | even if you have to, in the present difficult situation, for he who is called in the Lord
00:05:55.700 | is a slave, as a slave, is a freedman of the Lord.
00:06:01.300 | Likewise, he who was free when he was called," namely to be a Christian, "is a slave of
00:06:08.060 | Christ.
00:06:09.700 | You were bought with a price," that is, the blood of Jesus, "so do not become slaves
00:06:14.900 | of men."
00:06:15.900 | Now, there's the key to the Christian life and to all of our relationships, including
00:06:22.980 | singleness and marriage.
00:06:24.620 | What makes for true freedom is belonging to Jesus, who bought us with his blood, who owns
00:06:35.420 | us by purchase, who loves us, who designs the best life for us, the most beautiful life
00:06:42.560 | for us, and who will bring us to everlasting and deepest possible joy.
00:06:48.420 | That is freedom, which means that if we are in a painful relationship, like slavery or
00:06:58.420 | a deeply disappointing marriage, and we are there with Jesus, belonging to Jesus, owned
00:07:08.020 | by Jesus, loved by Jesus, getting help from Jesus, experiencing his fellowship, enjoying
00:07:15.020 | his guidance, following his will, we are walking in great freedom.
00:07:22.900 | That's why I said at the beginning, there may be more freedom by embracing a painful
00:07:27.260 | relationship than in embracing unfettered autonomy.
00:07:32.420 | It also means that if we are free from all human commitments and restraints and living
00:07:40.720 | a life of unfettered autonomy, not submitting to Jesus, not enjoying his fellowship, we
00:07:48.780 | are in the profoundest bondage to sin and selfishness, and we will hit the bottom of
00:07:57.460 | the cliff sooner or later.
00:08:01.000 | So this is the principle that Paul applies in 1 Corinthians 7 to marriage and singleness.
00:08:06.740 | He loves his singleness.
00:08:10.220 | He wishes others could have this particular life of Christian freedom.
00:08:17.300 | This is what you were talking about at the beginning, Tony, when you said people don't
00:08:21.060 | even know that this is in the Bible, that the exaltation of a life of devoted singleness
00:08:27.260 | is there, rather than idealizing marriage as the only way to live.
00:08:32.700 | Amazingly, he says, 1 Corinthians 7, 7, "I wish that all of you were as I myself am."
00:08:39.500 | Well, you crazy?
00:08:42.420 | There wouldn't be any babies if we were all single.
00:08:45.840 | But he says it, "But each has his own gift from God, one kind or another.
00:08:53.440 | To the unmarried and the widows I say, it is good for them to remain single as I am."
00:09:00.940 | And then he adds, lest we draw the wrong inference, he's not telling anyone, he says, not to marry.
00:09:08.900 | So verse 36, it's amazing how he starts and ends with this kind of thing.
00:09:13.660 | If anyone thinks that he's not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are
00:09:21.520 | strong and it has to be, let him do as he wishes, let him marry.
00:09:27.860 | It is no sin.
00:09:31.700 | So he's not condemning marriage.
00:09:34.440 | He's just exalting in his singleness and wishing others could join him in it.
00:09:39.620 | Well, here's the question, what makes his singleness so great in his mind?
00:09:45.980 | What should make it great in our minds?
00:09:48.900 | It's because singleness offered him a unique experience of devotion to the Lord.
00:09:57.820 | He said, "I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to
00:10:04.640 | promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
00:10:11.840 | There's the bottom line of freedom, devotion to the Lord, belonging to the Lord, living
00:10:17.340 | in joyful submission to the Lord who loved us and gave himself for us.
00:10:23.260 | So when Paul says that marrying is no sin and singleness provides undivided devotion
00:10:29.820 | to the Lord, he's not saying that marriage means you don't walk as closely with the
00:10:37.460 | Lord or depend as deeply on the Lord or enjoy the Lord with less sweetness of fellowship.
00:10:47.100 | He means the challenges in both states, marriage and singleness, the challenges in both states
00:10:55.260 | are different, very different.
00:10:58.180 | There are unique distractions in marriage.
00:11:01.540 | That's what he's drawing attention to in particular.
00:11:04.260 | There are unique distractions in marriage that we must guard against lest our hearts
00:11:11.780 | be divided and the Lord take second place.
00:11:15.700 | But I think if we pushed on Paul, he would say there are other kinds of distractions
00:11:20.260 | for single people that require similar vigilance.
00:11:24.640 | So the point is Christian freedom, whether in lifelong commitment to marriage or in a
00:11:31.220 | lifelong state of singleness, means belonging utterly to the risen Lord Jesus, trusting
00:11:39.500 | him completely with our lives, submitting all our decisions to his will, enjoying all
00:11:45.620 | his fellowship, expecting all his promises of help, and finding ourselves wonderfully
00:11:52.640 | useful in our marriage or in our singleness in serving other people.
00:11:57.560 | So yes, Tony, I do encourage people to go deep into 1 Corinthians 7.
00:12:05.380 | I think there are profound things there about marriage, about singleness, because there
00:12:12.100 | are profound things there about the Lordship of Christ and what it means to be totally
00:12:18.220 | his and totally free.
00:12:20.420 | Amen.
00:12:21.420 | Thank you for addressing this crucial chapter, especially as younger Christians face these
00:12:25.820 | new cultural temptations.
00:12:28.380 | It's good to see the depth of scripture in this profound chapter on self-giving.
00:12:32.820 | And I mean, that's what I was looking for, whether by marriage or by singleness, true
00:12:37.580 | freedom is self-giving.
00:12:39.260 | Well, we're going to break for the weekend now, and you can look back on the episodes
00:12:42.860 | from this fruitful week and search our archive of hundreds of episodes in our landing page.
00:12:48.060 | Go to desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn.
00:12:52.380 | Feel free to take some time this weekend to search our collection of episodes.
00:12:56.060 | You can even ask John Piper a question, get the free apps, or subscribe to the podcast
00:12:59.820 | through your favorite podcast app.
00:13:02.060 | I'm your host, Tony Reinke.
00:13:03.940 | I'll see you on Monday when we talk productivity with Pastor John.
00:13:06.820 | [end]
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