Everyday Educator - Finishing Strong
00:00:00.000 | Welcome, friends, to this episode of the Everyday Educator Podcast.
00:00:08.480 | I'm your host, Lisa Bailey, and I'm excited to spend this time with you today as we encourage
00:00:14.800 | one another, learn together, and ponder the challenges and the delights that make homeschooling
00:00:22.300 | the adventure of a lifetime.
00:00:23.900 | Now, whether you're just considering this homeschooling possibility or deep into the daily delight
00:00:31.620 | of family learning, I believe you'll enjoy thinking along with us.
00:00:36.200 | But don't forget, although this online community is awesome, you'll find even closer support
00:00:43.720 | in a local CC community.
00:00:45.960 | So, go to classicalconversations.com and find a community near you today.
00:00:54.200 | So, listeners, this is one of our first episodes with video two.
00:01:00.380 | And so, my guest, Deb, and I are sitting here thinking, okay, don't scratch your nose, don't
00:01:07.840 | flick your hair, don't shift in your seat because people are watching us.
00:01:13.660 | So, if I'm a little awkward, it probably means that I all of a sudden remembered that you could
00:01:19.620 | see my facial expressions.
00:01:21.000 | And so, they are sometimes speaking out loud.
00:01:24.780 | And I have a lot of feelings about the topic that we're going to cover today, finishing strong
00:01:32.760 | as we all approach the end of our CC year.
00:01:37.360 | You know, community days are coming to a close.
00:01:40.840 | Our kids are in the thick of last minute projects and end of the year celebrations.
00:01:48.120 | Sometimes, mamas and daddies, I know, we're tired.
00:01:53.360 | And dare I say, sometimes everybody in our family is just the smallest bit tired of it.
00:02:00.340 | And so, we are here to encourage one another in how to finish strong.
00:02:07.860 | And I have a dear friend, Deb Switzer, with me today.
00:02:12.000 | Deb has lots of experience as a homeschooling mom and as a homeschooling community leader.
00:02:19.260 | And so, we're going to pick Deb's brain about how to finish strong with your students and
00:02:25.600 | what you as a parent can do to help your student finish strong and bring your school year to
00:02:32.960 | what you'll consider a successful end.
00:02:35.440 | So, Deb, I'm so glad that you're here with me today to talk about this.
00:02:39.740 | Thanks for coming.
00:02:40.900 | Thanks for having me and picking my tired brain as well.
00:02:45.440 | Because we're in the last five weeks of CC as well.
00:02:48.240 | So, it's fun though.
00:02:49.240 | Yeah, that's what I want people to know.
00:02:51.820 | The podcast guests that I bring to you guys every week and my own perspective are not coming
00:03:01.460 | from a talking head point of view, but from the point of view of moms and dads who are in
00:03:07.260 | the trenches too.
00:03:08.740 | And so, you know, Deb is probably sitting here thinking, I want to talk to these dear folks,
00:03:14.660 | but I also have children who have XYZ Project and students who are working on a senior thesis
00:03:23.460 | or who are waiting for me to give them one more prod of goodness to the end.
00:03:29.760 | And so, we feel your pain and we feel your delight as you are helping your students come to the
00:03:36.600 | end of a great year.
00:03:38.580 | We want to help you help them celebrate success.
00:03:42.940 | So, I'm going to go back.
00:03:44.600 | I'm going to let everybody see how credentialed you are, Deb, for this very thing.
00:03:49.900 | So, I want you to tell people, how long have you been homeschooling?
00:03:55.380 | Oh, so I know when I was thinking about this, I started to age myself tremendously.
00:04:00.460 | Oh my gosh, I know.
00:04:01.520 | You just don't.
00:04:02.440 | What in the world?
00:04:03.420 | So, I've been homeschooling for 20 years.
00:04:05.800 | I've actually hit the 20-year milestone this year.
00:04:09.320 | So, I've been homeschooling for 20 years.
00:04:11.120 | That's awesome.
00:04:12.020 | So, I've been doing CC for 15 of those 20 years.
00:04:18.300 | I came in five years into that.
00:04:21.080 | And I've been directing in the communities or tutoring or directing in the communities from
00:04:24.480 | the moment that I started.
00:04:25.480 | So, I definitely have been hitting the ground running all the way through.
00:04:28.960 | Yeah.
00:04:29.220 | Yeah.
00:04:29.900 | It does feel strange when you think back.
00:04:32.360 | You think, well, I've been doing this for a few years.
00:04:34.520 | I probably have, you know, eight to 10 years of experience.
00:04:36.880 | And then you look back and you think, oh, no, it was 20 years.
00:04:40.900 | And so, I personally can't decide if homeschooling kept me young or has aged me terribly.
00:04:49.220 | I don't know.
00:04:50.000 | Maybe it's a bit of both.
00:04:51.260 | That's right.
00:04:52.140 | I do know that it's been a blessing and that God has, I will say this, and this is a different
00:04:57.900 | podcast.
00:04:58.340 | We'll cover this at a different time.
00:04:59.980 | I feel like God has blessed me and grown me more than I was ever able to grow my children.
00:05:09.340 | And so, homeschooling, you know, parents, if you're coming to the end of the year and
00:05:13.380 | you think, man, I feel like I was the one who was schooled this year.
00:05:17.560 | Just know you're in good company.
00:05:20.220 | And I really do think that homeschooling is the most refining and redeeming endeavor of
00:05:29.200 | a parent's life.
00:05:30.140 | But that, like I said, that's a different podcast.
00:05:32.740 | So, let's think about this, finishing strong.
00:05:35.460 | As a parent, Deb, and as a director, which is harder for you, starting the year or finishing
00:05:44.880 | well, oh, well, I'm sure it all depends on personality.
00:05:50.100 | So, my personality loves to, I have a, I feel like I start well.
00:05:56.180 | So, I'm a planner.
00:05:57.840 | And so, I'm able to like try to get all my ducks in a row.
00:06:01.600 | And I have all these great, wonderful ideas of how I'm going to start the school year.
00:06:08.500 | It's going to be amazing and all this different stuff.
00:06:11.880 | And then, I think finishing is always a lot harder.
00:06:15.640 | I'm like, almost there.
00:06:18.300 | I'm going to make it.
00:06:19.560 | I'm trudging to the finish line and thinking about, yes.
00:06:24.000 | Pulling people in assignments after you on a big chain.
00:06:27.880 | And realizing which ones I've dropped and that that's okay.
00:06:32.120 | And that's okay.
00:06:33.660 | It's, you know, which ones have I been able to keep and what ideas stayed strong and which
00:06:38.620 | ideas fell off the wagon.
00:06:40.240 | And that's all right.
00:06:41.860 | It's all good.
00:06:42.520 | It's part of the process.
00:06:43.680 | And, you know, just remembering it's lifetime.
00:06:45.900 | So, I think we can look at, you know, May as like, it's this hard finish line.
00:06:50.920 | And, you know, but it's, you know, every time I step back and say, hey, I'm in this for
00:06:55.460 | the long call with my children.
00:06:57.360 | And this May, the end of this year, is like a mile marker on your journey.
00:07:04.360 | It's not, perhaps, for many of us, not the final destination.
00:07:09.760 | Now, we'll talk in a minute.
00:07:10.900 | For some moms and dads, this May, there's a definite finish line that they're crossing.
00:07:19.100 | But for most of us, you're right, we are trying to get across the finish line that looked so
00:07:26.180 | full of promise and so far away when we started.
00:07:29.300 | I tend to be like you.
00:07:30.780 | I love the start of a school year.
00:07:33.380 | Even when I was a student, man, I loved the idea of new notebooks.
00:07:37.920 | There weren't any scratched out places in them.
00:07:41.880 | And all my pencils were sharp and all my pens were full of ink.
00:07:46.180 | And, you know, none of, I didn't have any of the little ratty, torn out pieces in my spiral
00:07:51.400 | notebooks.
00:07:51.880 | So something, there's something fresh and exciting and turning a new leaf about the beginning of
00:07:59.900 | the year.
00:08:00.280 | The end of the year for many of us, like you said, just is a fight to the finish.
00:08:06.840 | It is, you know, you had all these plans and now you're looking and you're thinking, well,
00:08:13.060 | some of them are still doable or some of them are barely doable.
00:08:17.580 | And some of those, is that what that was I left back there in the dust?
00:08:21.560 | And so it's just sometimes for most of us, finishing strong is harder because I think because
00:08:33.200 | we're tired and I think for some of us, our goals changed in the middle and we didn't recalibrate.
00:08:41.300 | So we still, you know, on paper still have these goals that maybe we stopped really working
00:08:50.180 | toward.
00:08:50.660 | And all of a sudden we think, oh, I wrote that down and we're for sure not going to make
00:08:55.880 | that because it fell off the radar.
00:08:58.280 | And so some of us can beat ourselves up about that.
00:09:02.620 | And so finishing strong, well, that makes it a challenge.
00:09:08.240 | What else, what else do you think?
00:09:09.700 | I want to talk about why is finishing strong a challenge?
00:09:13.300 | You know, what are the pain points?
00:09:15.940 | What are the issues that we feel in a lot of different ways?
00:09:19.780 | So what are the challenges to finishing strong at home?
00:09:27.720 | So for people, I mean, not even what's due in community and what other people are expecting
00:09:34.660 | of you as a director or your children as community participants.
00:09:39.060 | What makes finishing strong challenging at home?
00:09:44.620 | I think, you know, as I think there's a whole sense of that there, you know, we want to
00:09:50.300 | be done.
00:09:50.800 | Like if you're like my mind, I want to be done so I can have my season of rest.
00:09:56.520 | And because I, I take some, not everybody does, but I take summers off.
00:10:00.280 | And so for me personally, that concept at home of I, I personally want rest.
00:10:07.200 | I want my kids to be done so that I can have rest.
00:10:11.320 | And so I think that I, um, sometimes I need to pull myself back and say, Hey, um, don't
00:10:19.200 | get so, yeah, don't get so caught up in the calendar, get, allow God's grace to really kind
00:10:25.320 | of come in during the season.
00:10:26.960 | And I think, um, different personalities handle things differently, but I definitely get into
00:10:32.480 | a place where I want it done so that it can be there.
00:10:35.880 | And I, the calendar starts to dictate my focus and God spoke to me about just take your eyes
00:10:43.800 | off the calendar and put your eyes on me.
00:10:45.940 | Uh, and when I can do that, when I start to shift, I think that's probably my personal biggest
00:10:52.080 | pain point at the end of the year is that I'm looking at the counter.
00:10:55.460 | I'm seeing all the activities, all the projects, all the assignments that, you know, my kids have
00:11:01.460 | and I just get zoomed in on the calendar and right.
00:11:05.380 | It all has to be done by this block.
00:11:07.460 | Yeah.
00:11:08.100 | And I forget to lift up my eyes and just say, uh, I need to lift up my eyes to the hills.
00:11:13.580 | Where does my help come from?
00:11:15.080 | It comes from the Lord maker of heaven and earth.
00:11:17.920 | And to just sit back and say, you know what, God, you are in charge of this calendar.
00:11:24.060 | You are in charge of every single one of these things that I have color coded and lined up and
00:11:29.980 | everything else.
00:11:31.120 | You're in charge of it.
00:11:32.380 | And some of these things may not be your plan for us this month, even though I think it is.
00:11:39.060 | And some are, and are things that we have to buckle down and do.
00:11:42.040 | And can you lead me, God, can I lift up my eyes from what I think we have?
00:11:46.540 | And can I lift up my eyes and let you show me what we have the grace for in this season of life
00:11:53.300 | and what you are calling us to, to work hard on?
00:11:56.540 | What are you calling us to maybe let go of?
00:11:59.160 | Uh, what are you calling us to do the best that we can in at this moment and balance that for me,
00:12:06.280 | God, so that I'm not, I'm not running my family or like trying to show my family away.
00:12:11.900 | That's made by, you know, man, but that's made by you.
00:12:15.280 | Um, and my calendar is helpful.
00:12:16.820 | I love calendars.
00:12:18.000 | Absolutely.
00:12:19.320 | It can keep us focused and moving ahead instead of just spiraling.
00:12:23.760 | Like, Oh, I don't want to be like, I don't want to be all over the place.
00:12:28.700 | I want to help my children by giving them direction.
00:12:31.320 | You know, they need direction and they need, um, guidance, right?
00:12:34.960 | They need those boundaries during the season.
00:12:36.940 | So giving up focus to our kids helps remove the pain points a little bit.
00:12:41.160 | Cause they're like, I don't know what to do next.
00:12:42.880 | They need a little bit more help at the end of the year with all those projects and the different
00:12:47.220 | things coming in.
00:12:48.020 | They need a little, let me walk you through this and show you how to manage your time
00:12:52.120 | and balance your time.
00:12:53.100 | So it's just, it's, it's just helpful for them.
00:12:56.200 | You know what?
00:12:57.000 | You have said so many wise things.
00:12:58.640 | I wish I could just like go back and replay it in slow motion.
00:13:02.460 | I love, I love your testimony because I think a lot of us can feel it of, um, falling into
00:13:11.920 | the trap of having the calendar dictate our pace because we're so focused on this was the
00:13:21.280 | plan.
00:13:21.640 | And this is the date on the calendar.
00:13:24.820 | Here's my red X.
00:13:26.580 | All this stuff has to be done by then.
00:13:30.180 | And then we start to feel it all piling up behind us like a tidal wave ready to crash on us instead
00:13:38.180 | of the gentle swell.
00:13:40.860 | That's going to take us along.
00:13:43.260 | I tend to fall into that too.
00:13:45.860 | Like once I have made a plan, it's really hard for me to accept a change to the plan.
00:13:53.040 | And so if I think we're going to be done, then like, there's something in my spirit that
00:13:58.320 | has been pressing toward that.
00:14:00.060 | And, and I guess internally thinking I can keep going because there's the end, there's the
00:14:06.020 | end, but your counsel to stop and breathe and look up and ask the Lord it, that is, that
00:14:15.100 | is the end, but does it have to be right there?
00:14:19.200 | We do want to accomplish these things, or maybe that's no longer ours to do.
00:14:25.600 | Maybe, you know, the focus has changed.
00:14:29.100 | And I think sometimes like there are things that are the hard deadlines and we know, but
00:14:34.120 | then sometimes God extends things out for us that in ways that we don't know that he's
00:14:39.080 | going to do.
00:14:39.740 | I love this.
00:14:40.720 | My daughter told me this story when she was, and I use it for an analogy for homeschool all
00:14:46.940 | the time now where she had to go to, she went to summer camp when she was younger and
00:14:51.980 | she had to pass a pretty rigorous swim test.
00:14:54.180 | And so, you know, she was trying to get ready for it.
00:14:57.140 | And this swimming is not our natural thing.
00:14:59.100 | We don't do a ton of swimming in our home, but you know, she was fine.
00:15:01.900 | Like she should be able to do it.
00:15:02.980 | And so it was a four lap swim test and then some other things.
00:15:05.900 | And so she said four laps.
00:15:07.280 | And so she did up and down and up and down and she thought she was done.
00:15:12.880 | So she thought that that was four laps.
00:15:15.640 | And so she got to what she thought was the end and she realized, I'm only halfway.
00:15:23.640 | I'm only halfway.
00:15:25.900 | And all of a sudden, everything that she thought she could do in her own strength was gone.
00:15:30.520 | And she said, she literally prayed, God, I need you because that mental block of I'm only halfway
00:15:37.780 | there and I thought I was done.
00:15:39.880 | And she had to just rely on grad's grace to do another full, you know, two laps.
00:15:46.480 | And, and she said, I felt something kick in, mom, you know, I felt something kick in.
00:15:52.240 | And, and she passed the test and we talk about that all the time.
00:15:55.920 | And I say, I feel that way sometimes with school that, you know, we're doing all this, all this,
00:16:02.120 | you know, learning at home and these projects.
00:16:04.300 | And I thought we were done.
00:16:06.000 | And then I go and see, Oh, we didn't, we didn't do that as fully as I thought we did.
00:16:12.020 | You know, like maybe we got to like a project and you did it, but Oh, all the, maybe some
00:16:17.340 | of that back work that was supposed to have happened.
00:16:18.920 | Maybe we were winging it a little bit and we have to go a little bit longer to just ensure
00:16:25.340 | that we finished that.
00:16:26.700 | Right.
00:16:27.060 | And I was like, that's when God's grace kicks in.
00:16:30.340 | God's grace kicks in when we need it and that we don't have to keep trying to do it in
00:16:34.700 | our own strength.
00:16:35.340 | We can rely on God's strength to take us all the way through to bring it to full completion.
00:16:40.600 | It is by God's grace that we do that.
00:16:44.220 | That is great.
00:16:45.200 | Hey everybody.
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00:17:32.020 | Let's get back to the show.
00:17:33.520 | That is really, that's very, that's very heartening testimony, Deb.
00:17:40.100 | And I appreciate it.
00:17:41.200 | You said one thing about your students that we're going to come back to in a moment.
00:17:45.380 | Sometimes at the end, when there are a lot of things that you're bringing to the end, bringing
00:17:55.660 | full circle, what our students need from us at the end is different from what they need from
00:18:03.520 | us in the early days and in the middle.
00:18:06.440 | So we're going to talk about that in a minute, but what is, cause you've been a director for
00:18:11.860 | a lot of years also, and there are unique challenges to finishing well in community.
00:18:19.600 | What are some of those challenges?
00:18:21.600 | Yeah.
00:18:22.820 | Well, spring fever hits, right?
00:18:25.700 | And confidently felt that is a big thing across the whole community.
00:18:30.480 | It doesn't matter the age, like spring fever hits, everyone senses the end coming and everybody's
00:18:35.580 | like the doing wild crew that I have sitting here before me.
00:18:41.880 | And so, um, helping everybody kind of, um, like capturing that energy, like how can we use
00:18:48.320 | that energy to actually, um, propel us forward.
00:18:52.640 | And so, uh, you know, taking students outside, uh, if you have the opportunity in the spring and letting
00:18:59.460 | them relish, uh, the, the warmer weather, if you've been somewhere that's cold and still continuing
00:19:06.160 | learning, I think really helps the, the, um, the dynamic and community to be able to get out there and
00:19:12.920 | spend some time outdoors.
00:19:14.100 | They need it.
00:19:14.820 | Let them run around for a minute.
00:19:16.340 | I don't care what age from four to 18, they still need to do it.
00:19:21.060 | They need to run around.
00:19:22.600 | They have a lot of pent up energy.
00:19:24.400 | Um, really sitting down and meeting with the students.
00:19:27.660 | Like, so I just had a touch point with all of our families.
00:19:31.020 | I said, okay, so this is where we are.
00:19:34.260 | How do we finish strong?
00:19:35.740 | I said, let's make sure we see what's coming.
00:19:39.200 | Let me help you think through all of the stuff that's coming at the end of the year
00:19:44.400 | and what's vital for your family and your educational goals.
00:19:48.300 | And I think that's a great question.
00:19:50.600 | Directors can ask families.
00:19:52.300 | Yes.
00:19:52.900 | Here's this, you know, here's what's left.
00:19:55.840 | Yeah.
00:19:56.280 | What's important right now?
00:19:57.900 | Like what's key in your child's education right now?
00:20:01.820 | What do, what does he or she need to improve in or focus on or thrive in at this point?
00:20:08.960 | Um, and how can we not drop everything else, but put some focus there and tailor some of
00:20:15.880 | these other things to ensure that that sense of accomplishment comes, uh, at the end of the
00:20:21.440 | year, you know, we don't want to end the, the, the academic year and say, Hey, I, I feel
00:20:28.020 | like I didn't do anything right at the end.
00:20:29.880 | Right.
00:20:30.180 | I made a mess of all of it.
00:20:32.120 | Yeah.
00:20:32.680 | Oh, wow.
00:20:33.420 | That is so good.
00:20:34.560 | Okay.
00:20:34.880 | Listeners.
00:20:36.220 | If your director has not done this with your students, you can do it, but you can also ask
00:20:43.580 | your director.
00:20:44.600 | Okay.
00:20:45.020 | Could you maybe help me help our, our community see what's left to do and, and help us prioritize.
00:20:54.960 | That is what a blessing, Deb, you are to those families.
00:20:59.580 | That's really good because you're right.
00:21:01.260 | There's a lot going on in the community and for older students.
00:21:07.460 | Okay.
00:21:07.820 | So here's a real pain point.
00:21:09.700 | Usually our challenge students still have some weeks to go when our foundation students
00:21:16.540 | are done, done.
00:21:18.040 | And so in the community now I can remember, um, sometimes my challenge students were actually
00:21:26.300 | kind of glad when all the hubbub of foundations and essentials kids were gone.
00:21:34.060 | It was a quieter campus.
00:21:35.900 | It was a quieter church building.
00:21:38.820 | The halls were not as busy.
00:21:41.020 | The bathrooms were not as crowded.
00:21:43.160 | Um, they, I don't know.
00:21:45.640 | It's almost like the tone of the conversations went up when it was just the older kids left,
00:21:52.620 | um, in community.
00:21:54.280 | But it is a challenge, uh, for families that have kids that are done and families that have
00:22:00.840 | kids that are still working.
00:22:02.420 | And sometimes still working on the hard stuff or the stuff that is the showcase of all the
00:22:12.440 | skills that they have sharpened over the years.
00:22:16.340 | So, all right.
00:22:17.400 | We've talked a little bit about what are the challenges for parents to finish strong.
00:22:23.680 | Um, cause it, you're right.
00:22:28.700 | As a parent, you're ready for a break too.
00:22:31.520 | I mean, I can remember being a student thinking about my parents.
00:22:35.780 | You have no idea the stress I'm under with all of these exams coming up and all these big
00:22:41.900 | papers and all these projects.
00:22:43.460 | You just, I wish I had your life because you really don't have any problems.
00:22:47.960 | Spoken like, or thought, thought like a true teenager, but there are things that are difficult for
00:22:56.600 | us as parents.
00:22:57.400 | Some of it, some of the problems for parents in finishing strong is that juggling of all
00:23:03.960 | the needs of all of your children at once.
00:23:08.460 | speak to that Deb and, and, and the other challenges that parents feel about finishing strong.
00:23:16.600 | Yeah.
00:23:17.720 | Well, I can definitely just say like, I, I have been reduced to tears numerous April and May
00:23:24.380 | months, you know, not because.
00:23:26.600 | Oh my gosh, me too.
00:23:27.880 | Just cause it just, it can just, there's so, there are so many things happening and, you
00:23:34.180 | know, as much as we want to be relying on God's grace, there are just times and seasons where
00:23:40.080 | you're just like, I cannot do this.
00:23:42.300 | Right.
00:23:42.580 | And yeah, you want to say to your kid, you have these three things, but so does your sister
00:23:49.300 | and your two brothers.
00:23:50.400 | And I have all 12 of them.
00:23:53.160 | Yes.
00:23:54.660 | It's like, you know, and somehow we're going to do this.
00:23:58.380 | And, um, and I just remember when I had, uh, so my son was doing memory master, my daughter,
00:24:05.000 | I had a, I had a daughter in challenge for a son and challenge two.
00:24:10.480 | And I was directing, I had a daughter in challenge a, and a son doing memory master and essentials
00:24:16.040 | and faces of history.
00:24:17.020 | Oh my word.
00:24:18.140 | It's all coming at once.
00:24:19.860 | And I was like, I was like, and they're all like, mom, I need this.
00:24:23.440 | Mom, I need this.
00:24:24.520 | Everybody needs it at the same time.
00:24:27.860 | And I'm just being stretched, you know, here and there and everywhere.
00:24:31.960 | And, uh, just, you know, I think I would normally, um, have a mental breakdown and then after I
00:24:39.240 | had my mental breakdown.
00:24:40.200 | After that five minutes of allotted time.
00:24:42.480 | God would gently remind me again, this is not about you.
00:24:46.260 | Uh, and that, you know, my grace is sufficient for you in this.
00:24:50.560 | If your grace is sufficient for Paul, then your grace is sufficient for me.
00:24:54.700 | Uh, and so then I just, uh, one of my tips was that I always just tried to schedule at the
00:24:59.600 | end of the year, like make sure I had individual time with each.
00:25:02.860 | You know, like sometimes we're doing the, you know, with a, the one room school house and
00:25:08.440 | we have everybody together and we're used to that.
00:25:10.600 | Uh, but during the end, um, it's important that they get individual time was my big takeaway
00:25:17.280 | that I need to really spend some individual time with my youngest.
00:25:21.060 | So if he's doing memory master and faces, I, and my olders too, like we get so used to their
00:25:27.020 | independence as homeschoolers, we're like, you have just been sailing, you are independent,
00:25:33.440 | you're doing this.
00:25:34.420 | And then it frees us up and we're just having these conversations with them.
00:25:37.860 | But at the end of the academic year, from the youngest to the oldest, they all just need
00:25:44.740 | some individual time of just, Hey, let me sit down with you and see how the, see how
00:25:51.040 | this project is coming along.
00:25:52.760 | Let's make sure we're touching base on this one and that we're looking at your schedule
00:25:58.200 | and how your time is going and what's distracting you, what's helping you.
00:26:02.120 | And, uh, they just need that.
00:26:04.200 | So my biggest takeaway in my really busy time when all four were doing this thing at once
00:26:09.760 | was, um, pull back Deb for a minute and just make sure you're having that individual time
00:26:15.720 | because then they can take it and they can, they can, they can run more.
00:26:20.160 | Right.
00:26:20.480 | And so I need to equip them to run the race.
00:26:23.800 | Um, and so that just requires a little bit more individual time.
00:26:27.560 | Yeah.
00:26:28.080 | At that end of the year.
00:26:29.060 | Yeah.
00:26:29.660 | That is really, really good.
00:26:31.680 | That's wise counsel.
00:26:32.840 | And somehow Deb, it's counterintuitive because for, for those of us who have multiple children,
00:26:40.700 | who are freaking out about multiple different things all at the same time, we think, okay,
00:26:46.680 | I got to sit you all down and get everybody, they're marching orders.
00:26:50.560 | And, but you're right.
00:26:52.200 | What they need is the individualized attention for their specific freak out moment.
00:26:59.000 | What's yours?
00:27:00.000 | Yeah.
00:27:00.320 | What's yours?
00:27:00.940 | Yes.
00:27:01.580 | So, because sometimes it is, um, an older student who sees this huge task still to go, I am here
00:27:14.400 | and I have to get here and I don't have very long.
00:27:18.340 | And, and I had a daughter who was paralyzed by those, she would such a good student, but
00:27:26.300 | she would get to a certain point and there's like a week left and she knew what to do, but
00:27:31.620 | she's like paralyzed.
00:27:32.600 | And so she needed me, even as an older student, she needed me to say, and she knew all this,
00:27:40.620 | but in that time she needed me to say, okay, honey, I think that you need to work on this
00:27:47.360 | for an hour.
00:27:48.480 | And then I'm going to need you to take a 10 minute break, run around, go walk the trail,
00:27:53.820 | go get a drink, go check your email.
00:27:56.720 | And then I'm going to need you.
00:27:58.120 | I think you need to come back and work for 45 minutes and then we're going to have a check-in
00:28:03.800 | time.
00:28:04.260 | And then I need you to work for an hour and then we're going to have lunch and we're just
00:28:08.200 | going to, and I would say, and she knew that she needed to work and break and work and break,
00:28:14.360 | but she almost needed somebody to tell her, she needed a schedule to say, okay, because
00:28:20.140 | this is going to help me move forward.
00:28:22.880 | And then at the end of the day, she could look back and be heartened that, okay, so I did bite
00:28:30.400 | off those pieces and I did chew it up and I am farther along.
00:28:35.120 | And so you're right.
00:28:36.460 | They just need individual time and sometimes they need help that you think they've grown
00:28:42.580 | past.
00:28:43.900 | Yes, because that executive function paralysis that you're talking about is real.
00:28:48.340 | It is a real thing.
00:28:50.300 | It's a real for them and it's real for us, right?
00:28:52.840 | So I, that's why I was like, I would get in that mode.
00:28:55.940 | And when I'm in that mode and I'm like, I'm just looking at it.
00:28:59.660 | I'm just looking at my calendar and I'm looking at everything.
00:29:02.200 | And you don't know how to start.
00:29:03.940 | Like 20 minutes have gone by and I'm still looking at my calendar.
00:29:07.800 | What on the world is going on?
00:29:10.060 | And so pausing ourselves and remembering, we're like, that's what we need to do is remember
00:29:15.120 | we need to go for a walk as homeschool mamas.
00:29:17.880 | We need to go out in the fresh air and take a minute and just let God order our thoughts
00:29:22.900 | for a little bit.
00:29:23.780 | And then we can come back and help our children get out of that paralysis as well and say,
00:29:28.740 | hey, you need this too.
00:29:29.940 | This is so important for you, right?
00:29:33.480 | To be able to just take a, take a breath and remember.
00:29:36.720 | And then just that resetting just helps so much to let some other things go and just get reset.
00:29:43.600 | Okay.
00:29:43.920 | This is what I'm going to do right now.
00:29:46.440 | Yes.
00:29:47.080 | And, and what we want to do for our children is call them back to the joy of learning.
00:29:55.360 | So if, when you get caught up in the spinning, I have so much to do, then it just becomes
00:30:03.120 | something to finish, not something to relish and learn from.
00:30:08.160 | So let's think about, okay, what's the challenge for our younger kids?
00:30:12.940 | So let's think about like for foundations and essential students, many of them are coming
00:30:19.760 | to the end and they are interested in becoming memory masters, maybe, or subject matter experts
00:30:27.740 | for kids who are going to choose a strand to memorize.
00:30:32.780 | For essential students, a lot of them have one last big paper that they're showing what
00:30:40.760 | they've learned.
00:30:41.420 | Faces of history has come up.
00:30:44.000 | How, what are the challenges for our younger students?
00:30:47.680 | And, and how do we, as parents help them?
00:30:50.940 | Yeah, I, you know, that, uh, again, I think that individual times, so for memory master,
00:30:57.120 | there's, there's no way that a child's gonna be able to get through all of that.
00:31:01.920 | If they're working at it without mamas or a sibling's guidance.
00:31:05.780 | And so that's the blessing of, uh, you know, larger families is that we can have an older,
00:31:12.960 | older, uh, child say, Hey, help your younger child by going through the questions, uh, and
00:31:19.360 | being able to create that family dynamic, which by the way, has the added bonus of your older
00:31:24.360 | children who think they know everything going over the memory again.
00:31:27.400 | Reminding themselves that's perfect.
00:31:30.280 | Let's remember that timeline and all those fun history and science facts.
00:31:34.380 | So that actually works out really well.
00:31:36.700 | And with, uh, with the larger families to be able to do that, but, you know, and then just
00:31:40.640 | encouraging them.
00:31:41.380 | Like, I remember when my, um, my son wanted to do memory master, uh, you know, just saying,
00:31:47.680 | you know, I, first of all, I was like, you don't have to do it.
00:31:50.280 | Cause he saw an older sibling do it.
00:31:51.760 | It's like, this is not a requirement of you.
00:31:53.660 | This is one thing we're learning as we go.
00:31:55.900 | This does require more work on your part.
00:31:58.360 | Do you want to do it?
00:31:59.600 | And when he said yes, then that was more of his, like at a young age, starting that personal
00:32:05.020 | ownership.
00:32:05.400 | And I said, all right, let's set it up for you.
00:32:07.580 | Let me find some ways to make this.
00:32:09.580 | And that was more pre-work type of thing so that the end could go a little bit better.
00:32:14.000 | Just setting up those things that they could be like, I'm just going to practice this.
00:32:18.120 | And I have a sheet to practice on, or I have a way to practice.
00:32:20.660 | But at the end, as they're going through that, that time with mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins,
00:32:26.440 | siblings, neighbors, uh, who are all willing to kind of help in with that.
00:32:31.300 | It reminds me of, um, the movie Akilah and the bee when she was doing the spelling bee.
00:32:35.920 | Yes.
00:32:36.280 | All the people in the neighborhood helped her.
00:32:38.720 | Everybody can use those resources.
00:32:40.640 | You can only do so much mama.
00:32:42.320 | So, you know, use all those resources and let everyone help you along, uh, in that memory
00:32:47.700 | master drilling.
00:32:48.640 | And, you know, I think Deb, one of the best things that we can do for our children at the
00:32:53.300 | very end is to remind them of why they wanted to do it.
00:32:58.620 | Um, instead of just feeling the stress.
00:33:01.160 | So what excited you about this?
00:33:04.260 | What do you enjoy?
00:33:06.120 | What have you enjoyed about the year and reminding them that it's not all about performance and
00:33:15.000 | it's not only about the destination.
00:33:18.280 | It's about the journey and your attitude about the journey and what you pick up along the way
00:33:24.440 | that you never expected to get along the way.
00:33:28.640 | You know, and just as an encouragement, because there is so much that happens if, you know,
00:33:32.860 | whatever you're doing, whether you're a subject matter expert, if you're going for memory master
00:33:36.300 | or whatever it is, my son, my oldest son, uh, he struggled with, you know, some dyslexia and
00:33:42.120 | things like that.
00:33:42.660 | And he always struggled when he was younger, not feeling like he could do things.
00:33:47.740 | And at some point, uh, he decided that he wanted to do the memory master.
00:33:52.540 | And at the end of it, he looked at me and he said, mom, I'm smart.
00:33:58.920 | Isn't that the best?
00:34:02.120 | Crying, bawling my eyes out.
00:34:05.640 | Because before he was so down on himself and did he do everything perfectly the first time?
00:34:12.200 | No.
00:34:12.700 | And that was okay.
00:34:13.640 | He was seeing that he could learn, that he could, that he could understand things and
00:34:18.520 | express things.
00:34:19.500 | And all of a sudden his whole, his whole attitude toward education changed in a major way because
00:34:26.800 | he was like, I can do stuff.
00:34:28.780 | And that changed everything.
00:34:30.360 | Then I was like, well, remember how you did this?
00:34:32.220 | You can do that with writing too.
00:34:34.100 | You didn't think you could do it, but you can.
00:34:36.400 | And he's like, you're right, I can do it.
00:34:38.720 | And was it perfect?
00:34:39.620 | No, but he could do it.
00:34:41.640 | And that's, I think, part of the beauty of the journey.
00:34:44.900 | Yes.
00:34:45.860 | Part of finishing strong is remembering it's a journey.
00:34:50.140 | Even when your challenge for a student graduates and walks down that aisle for a cap and gown,
00:34:56.860 | it's still a journey.
00:34:58.940 | Right.
00:34:59.600 | That was not the last exit on your journey.
00:35:04.220 | Yes.
00:35:04.660 | Yes.
00:35:04.940 | You know, it's one season ending, but the learning journey has not ended.
00:35:09.780 | And to know that we're creating that lifelong learning, I think it just gives a little bit
00:35:15.480 | of a sigh of relief.
00:35:16.560 | It does.
00:35:17.540 | Finishing strong does not mean that everything was checked off at the end of this year.
00:35:21.980 | Finishing strong means that my child is learning to love learning and is learning how to learn
00:35:27.800 | in the process.
00:35:28.780 | And that's finishing strong.
00:35:31.340 | And I think if we can help our students realize that, like you said, that end is a false finish
00:35:40.780 | line.
00:35:41.260 | Yes.
00:35:42.380 | It's going to keep going.
00:35:44.620 | But that the beauty of crossing that finish line is in the looking back to where you started
00:35:53.680 | and seeing the progress that you made.
00:35:58.200 | One of my daughters was like your son in writing.
00:36:01.880 | She just said, she would say to me, I don't think that way.
00:36:05.800 | I don't.
00:36:06.480 | She asked me one time, do you just think in five paragraph essays, mama?
00:36:11.840 | And I thought, I mean, yes, I kind of do.
00:36:15.240 | And do you not?
00:36:17.360 | And the truth was that it was not, she said, I don't, words don't flow like that for me.
00:36:23.360 | It was a real struggle.
00:36:24.880 | And as a challenge A student, she just never felt like she was a good writer.
00:36:33.160 | In the last paper she wrote, though, she had worked hard.
00:36:41.480 | And this was at a point where they were, they were still doing a lot of writing instruction
00:36:47.800 | in challenge A.
00:36:49.320 | And so she got to the end of the year and she read her paper to me and her daddy out loud.
00:36:56.780 | And she looked up at me and she just had this amazement on her face.
00:37:01.800 | And she said, I am a good writer.
00:37:05.620 | And that was another one of those bawling moments.
00:37:08.880 | And she was able to look back and she was able to say, at the beginning of the year, I couldn't
00:37:15.940 | do this.
00:37:17.120 | And now I can do this.
00:37:19.880 | And was it, you know, she would look at it now and think, well, that was really mechanical
00:37:24.280 | and that was very stiff.
00:37:26.020 | But as a child, she was able to look and see where she had come from.
00:37:33.900 | And so crossing that line was a huge celebration for her.
00:37:38.660 | And we celebrated that she could see herself in a different light.
00:37:44.260 | That's what we want for our children at the end of the year.
00:37:47.780 | Finishing well doesn't mean they won all the prizes and maybe won the $10,000 National Memory
00:37:55.460 | Master Prize.
00:37:56.200 | It is, can they look back and see how far they came?
00:38:02.500 | And how far we've come as moms, as a family, did we come?
00:38:07.800 | Because now we know what to celebrate and we know what better assessment is and what a blessing
00:38:16.140 | to our students.
00:38:17.580 | I think one of the best ways to finish strong, to bless your family, is to take time when you
00:38:29.060 | can, to pause, like when the breath comes, but pause and spend some time reflecting on
00:38:36.700 | the year.
00:38:37.120 | Spend some time looking back at what did we start?
00:38:41.500 | Where did we start?
00:38:42.900 | How did we start?
00:38:44.200 | What were we trying to learn in this strand or in, you know, like what did, what facts did
00:38:50.220 | we memorize if we were younger or what paper, what paragraph did we write to this year that
00:38:56.080 | stands out?
00:38:57.200 | And to take the time to celebrate with each, each of your kids, the, the process that they
00:39:03.620 | went through for the year.
00:39:04.760 | I mean, you know, my son is like, when can, when I finished challenge one, can I burn my
00:39:09.720 | Henley book?
00:39:10.200 | You know, like, so like these are the things that, you know, but I was like, no.
00:39:15.800 | And instead let's think about what concepts we actually, you know, what do you know now that
00:39:24.040 | you didn't know and what did you learn in economics that you didn't know?
00:39:28.320 | You just finished your policy debate.
00:39:30.040 | Let's talk about what you actually discovered.
00:39:32.600 | And that let's celebrate the fact that you just did an incredible speech that you didn't
00:39:37.560 | think you're going to be able to do.
00:39:38.380 | You did a rebuttal.
00:39:39.140 | Right.
00:39:39.400 | Right.
00:39:40.080 | In the world, you did it, you know?
00:39:41.800 | And so, um, all of these things and just celebrating with them and just saying, you know, all of these
00:39:46.920 | things are worth a celebration.
00:39:48.280 | You've, you've done so much.
00:39:50.620 | And instead of them thinking, I didn't get that paper done and I didn't finish that assignment
00:39:55.960 | or, you know, or I rushed this or, right.
00:39:59.600 | Cause we all do, we all do, you know, and there's always room for growth.
00:40:04.080 | You can set new goals.
00:40:05.300 | You can change things around eventually, but celebrate, really celebrate the, the, the goodness
00:40:12.760 | of God, the truth, beauty, and goodness that you've discovered, uh, in this, in this year,
00:40:17.680 | the one that you've had, there is goodness in it.
00:40:20.440 | There's beauty in it.
00:40:21.540 | There's so much truth in it.
00:40:23.100 | So celebrate it.
00:40:24.320 | Uh, enjoy that moment with them.
00:40:26.260 | That's so good, Deb.
00:40:27.720 | And I love the idea of looking back to see how much you've learned and what you've learned
00:40:33.220 | and how you've grown.
00:40:34.260 | And parents, I want to encourage you that doesn't happen just in your academic subjects.
00:40:41.200 | It's not just that you did a rebuttal for the first time or that you wrote an actual
00:40:47.360 | senior thesis or that you participated in a mock trial and did a great job of all your
00:40:55.220 | speeches.
00:40:55.720 | Maybe it's looking back.
00:40:59.040 | Okay.
00:40:59.540 | What did God teach you this year about perseverance?
00:41:03.980 | Yes.
00:41:05.360 | About pride, about mercy, um, about being kind.
00:41:13.060 | If we can look back and help our students see how they have grown in taking ownership for
00:41:21.660 | their own work and not passing blame, um, what a great, the spiritual aspects of growth that
00:41:32.160 | that we see in our children, um, are sometimes overlooked, especially by our kids because they're
00:41:39.960 | so eager to finish their work and they don't see that really that's what blesses our hearts.
00:41:46.920 | When we can see that the Lord has grown them in maturity and we are celebrating that, but I think we
00:41:53.560 | need to help them celebrate what God's done in their hearts.
00:41:56.740 | There's so much discipleship that is happening through homeschooling, right?
00:42:00.440 | That it goes so much deeper than academics.
00:42:04.020 | There's so much growth.
00:42:05.820 | I know.
00:42:06.820 | I can't even imagine my life without homeschooling in the way that I've personally grown, let alone
00:42:12.100 | seeing the change and the transformation in my children and just knowing the work that God's
00:42:19.000 | done and the good and the bad and the ugly, it's all been working together for his good and his
00:42:24.420 | purposes.
00:42:24.800 | And I just, I'm so thankful that we have the right, the freedom to be able to homeschool our
00:42:30.920 | kids and be able to have an opportunity, not just to teach them, but to disciple them that
00:42:36.800 | what a, what a gift from the Lord, uh, to be able to have that in our families.
00:42:40.740 | That is so encouraging.
00:42:42.640 | And so I sort of want to say at this point, and that's how you finish strong.
00:42:47.620 | You, you stop, you take a deep breath.
00:42:52.420 | You have one-on-one time with your kids.
00:42:55.080 | You assess what, where are we and where do we still want to go and map out some steps for
00:43:03.460 | how to get there.
00:43:04.280 | But also one of the ways to finish strong is to look back and see where the Lord has brought
00:43:11.760 | you and be sure that you include celebration.
00:43:14.860 | Deb, thank you for all the, you have given us so much to think about and so much good wisdom,
00:43:20.820 | but also some really good practical tips that I feel like we're all going to go and massage
00:43:25.880 | over the next couple of weeks as we finish strong.
00:43:29.760 | So thank you, Deb.
00:43:30.780 | I appreciate it.
00:43:31.720 | Thank you so much.
00:43:32.800 | Awesome.
00:43:33.000 | All right, guys, we'll see you next week and, um, go celebrate something today with your kids.
00:43:39.980 | Yes.
00:43:40.960 | Bye-bye.
00:43:41.860 | Bye-bye.