Everyday Educator - Simplify Advent: Play Together
00:00:00.000 | (soft music)
00:00:02.420 | - Welcome friends to this episode
00:00:06.520 | of the Everyday Educator podcast.
00:00:09.040 | I'm your host, Lisa Bailey,
00:00:11.060 | and I am excited to spend some time with you today
00:00:14.660 | as we encourage one another, learn together
00:00:18.080 | and ponder the delights and challenges
00:00:20.940 | that make homeschooling the adventure of a lifetime.
00:00:24.140 | Whether you're just considering
00:00:26.140 | this homeschooling possibility
00:00:28.260 | or deep into the daily delight of family learning,
00:00:32.440 | I believe you'll enjoy thinking along with us.
00:00:36.580 | But don't forget,
00:00:37.780 | although this online community is awesome,
00:00:41.440 | you'll find even closer support in a local CC community.
00:00:46.340 | So go to classicalconversations.com
00:00:50.380 | and find a community near you today.
00:00:54.920 | Well, listeners, I have a suggestion for your family,
00:00:59.040 | actually for all our families this Christmas.
00:01:01.700 | What if we intentionally spent time together
00:01:07.780 | doing the simplest things?
00:01:11.500 | What if we practice simple habits
00:01:14.140 | designed to draw us to one another
00:01:17.240 | and to start meaningful conversations
00:01:19.760 | and to provoke us to deeper thinking
00:01:22.960 | and even to encourage us to true worship?
00:01:26.540 | What if in this season of busy,
00:01:30.460 | we celebrated Christmas by praying together,
00:01:34.740 | playing together, reading together,
00:01:38.300 | exploring together and serving together?
00:01:43.020 | This Advent season, the Everyday Educator
00:01:46.280 | wants to practice these habits along with you.
00:01:50.180 | And we're gonna talk to others
00:01:51.700 | who want to try this plan too.
00:01:53.820 | So you listen in every Tuesday to ponder the next habit.
00:01:58.820 | Today, we're gonna be thinking about playing together
00:02:03.940 | and I have one of my favorite playmates,
00:02:06.700 | Kelly Wilt here with me to talk about Christmas
00:02:11.900 | and simplifying Advent.
00:02:14.500 | So Kelly, thanks for joining me.
00:02:16.820 | - Absolutely, Lisa.
00:02:18.340 | I am so excited to talk about this with you today.
00:02:21.660 | I am sitting here in front of our own Christmas tree,
00:02:25.300 | which we are hoping to decorate this week
00:02:28.880 | at the time of this podcast.
00:02:30.980 | And Christmas is my favorite holiday for many reasons.
00:02:35.700 | So I'm excited to talk about that today.
00:02:38.380 | - I'm so excited.
00:02:39.360 | We are getting our tree tonight
00:02:43.140 | and then decorating it tomorrow.
00:02:44.980 | So you and I will be in joyful community
00:02:49.220 | when we get to do that.
00:02:50.500 | Let me ask you, I know you said
00:02:51.900 | that you were a big Christmas lover.
00:02:54.100 | What is it that you love about Christmas?
00:02:58.920 | - Well, I think some of the things
00:03:00.500 | that I love about celebrating Christmas are,
00:03:04.500 | well, the very first one that I can think of
00:03:07.900 | is that Christmas was always a time set apart in our family.
00:03:12.700 | Our church would do specific fun activities,
00:03:18.020 | thoughtful activities around this time of year.
00:03:21.300 | And so my little heart, even as a little person,
00:03:25.740 | was always tuned in to that Christmas season
00:03:29.500 | and to the special things that only happened
00:03:32.820 | during that time of year.
00:03:34.740 | And I loved all of the activities our church would plan.
00:03:39.220 | It just made Christmas something special in my eyes,
00:03:43.580 | even when I was young.
00:03:45.340 | And so that combined with the fact
00:03:48.380 | that our family would get together
00:03:51.060 | and we would sing and we would feast.
00:03:54.660 | I sound like, you know, I sound like Dr. Seuss.
00:03:57.420 | We would feast on Christmas. - I'm not the feast,
00:03:58.660 | feast, feast, yeah. (laughs)
00:04:00.660 | - And we would fellowship together and celebrate,
00:04:04.740 | which, you know, to us as believers,
00:04:07.620 | is the special holiday for this time of year,
00:04:11.740 | celebrating the birth of Christ.
00:04:13.660 | - Yeah, so it sounds like Christmas was kind of a big deal
00:04:17.860 | in your home and your family when you were growing up.
00:04:20.820 | - Yes, yes, I would say for certain,
00:04:23.660 | that is a true statement. (laughs)
00:04:25.340 | - Yeah, I think, and my parents both loved Christmas too,
00:04:29.420 | 'cause I can remember, kinda like you,
00:04:31.820 | that my family, there were certain things that we did.
00:04:35.340 | I can actually remember going with my daddy
00:04:39.180 | and sometimes my little sister out to property
00:04:42.700 | that he owned out in the country and pulling running cedar
00:04:47.540 | and we made our own Christmas wreath for the front door.
00:04:51.780 | And so, I mean, just little things like that,
00:04:55.020 | he invested a lot, he and my mom invested a lot
00:04:58.700 | in creating Christmas rituals and traditions
00:05:02.900 | that we kept up with and that was really special to me too.
00:05:06.900 | So tell me one of your most vivid Christmas memories
00:05:11.380 | with your family and it can be silly or serious
00:05:15.140 | or embarrassing, we're all friends here.
00:05:17.300 | (laughs)
00:05:18.820 | - Or a little bit of all of that, right?
00:05:21.900 | Oh my, I think one, when I think about Christmas,
00:05:26.260 | particularly when I was young,
00:05:27.620 | one of the things that immediately comes to mind
00:05:30.460 | is the fact that every Christmas Eve,
00:05:33.780 | my mother's side of our family would get together
00:05:36.500 | and we would have a Christmas Eve party for family
00:05:40.860 | who lived close by, but just life happened
00:05:44.460 | and we never really got together on a regular basis.
00:05:48.220 | And everyone would bring food and we would sit around
00:05:51.260 | and we would talk and the grandchildren in the family
00:05:54.540 | would play games and it reminds me a lot of what I read
00:05:59.180 | in Charles Dickens where all the adults sit together
00:06:02.820 | and talk in fellowship and the kids play games.
00:06:06.020 | It was just so memorable and I remember,
00:06:08.700 | even as I sit here thinking about that,
00:06:10.820 | distinct smells and tastes and sounds come to mind.
00:06:15.820 | I had one aunt that always brought the same pea salad.
00:06:20.460 | - Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
00:06:22.900 | - I remember looking at that when I was five, six,
00:06:25.020 | seven years old and going, oh, what is that?
00:06:27.260 | Well, by the time that I got to be 12, 13, 14,
00:06:30.220 | that pea salad tasted pretty good.
00:06:31.980 | - Isn't that hilarious, oh.
00:06:34.860 | - Remember, it was a special time for me to see people
00:06:38.820 | who now have gone on to be with the Lord,
00:06:41.620 | but at that time, when I reflect on that,
00:06:44.220 | it was such a special time for us as a family
00:06:47.260 | to be together and to celebrate the birth of Christ
00:06:51.340 | and to celebrate our relationships with each other.
00:06:54.140 | And that just was so special.
00:06:56.180 | - Yeah, it's so funny, the things that kids remember
00:06:59.460 | always surprise their parents.
00:07:01.380 | 'Cause I know there are things that I remembered
00:07:04.460 | and they made such an impression on me
00:07:06.700 | and I would mention it to my mom and dad
00:07:09.500 | and they were like, yeah, that never happened.
00:07:11.980 | (laughing)
00:07:12.820 | And I'm like, it did, or they have no memory of it.
00:07:16.020 | But what I've discovered is that some of the things
00:07:20.300 | that are most memorable to me and the ones
00:07:25.020 | that my parents remember too come from,
00:07:28.900 | it became kind of like a shared joke.
00:07:31.140 | I know that when my sister and I were little,
00:07:35.340 | we loved Christmas Eve.
00:07:37.780 | We loved going to church on Christmas Eve,
00:07:40.460 | but we loved the special time that we had at home
00:07:43.740 | just with our family because we opened gifts
00:07:47.340 | from one another on Christmas Eve.
00:07:51.260 | And so we looked forward to that.
00:07:53.780 | And some of the best excitement came from seeing
00:07:58.780 | what somebody else thought about the gift you gave them.
00:08:02.660 | So it wasn't all just that we couldn't wait to get new stuff.
00:08:06.420 | But I can remember every year we would get ready,
00:08:09.480 | we would parcel the presents out and my dad would say,
00:08:13.260 | well, before we open presents,
00:08:15.620 | I really think we need to go look at the Christmas lights.
00:08:19.140 | And he would do it every year.
00:08:21.100 | And it became a moan and groan time.
00:08:25.740 | So we usually opened gifts,
00:08:29.340 | but then we would put on our pajamas
00:08:31.840 | and we would go look at the Christmas lights.
00:08:33.960 | And so that becomes one of my most treasured
00:08:38.760 | childhood memories, both because of the moan and groan
00:08:43.040 | that was the shared joke every year.
00:08:46.380 | But also it was a time when we were just in the car,
00:08:50.500 | just the four of us, it was dark, it was quiet.
00:08:54.460 | We were looking at things that were beautiful
00:08:56.740 | in our community and it drew us together.
00:09:00.120 | So a lot of times I think what makes those memories
00:09:03.620 | so vivid to us is their shared nature.
00:09:08.620 | And then what you talked about,
00:09:10.660 | you know, that there are smells and sounds.
00:09:13.460 | So it's very sensory.
00:09:16.940 | Those kinds of memories are vivid
00:09:19.380 | because they're so sensory.
00:09:21.840 | So think about your family today.
00:09:24.940 | I know that you and Kim have three lovely children.
00:09:28.420 | So what are the hallmarks of your Christmas
00:09:32.980 | celebrating in your family today?
00:09:35.240 | And what are the things that your kids look forward to?
00:09:38.480 | - Oh, well, let me preface this by saying
00:09:40.580 | that we as a family are in a time of transition
00:09:43.880 | right now at the time of this podcast.
00:09:45.860 | So our eldest is graduating from college this year.
00:09:50.860 | And so Christmas is going to be looking a little different
00:09:54.480 | for us as a family, you know,
00:09:56.340 | moving forward into the future, our middle son
00:09:59.100 | is graduating from high school
00:10:00.820 | and heading off into the future.
00:10:03.060 | And so as of next Christmas,
00:10:05.380 | we will only have one child who is still at home.
00:10:10.380 | And so that is a change for this mama
00:10:13.060 | because I can remember, you know, when they were little,
00:10:16.520 | I had certain things that I planned on certain days
00:10:19.360 | and we would do them together.
00:10:21.080 | And so now Christmas takes a little more effort on my part
00:10:24.380 | because I need to reach out to my children
00:10:28.180 | who are no longer under our roof
00:10:30.720 | and still involve them in the celebration
00:10:34.380 | and in participating, even at a distance,
00:10:37.540 | what we're doing together as a family.
00:10:40.100 | So it will look a little different for us this year,
00:10:42.520 | but that's not a bad thing.
00:10:43.980 | It's just going to take some growing and stretching
00:10:46.720 | as our children move from under our roof out into the world.
00:10:50.260 | - Yes, yes.
00:10:52.120 | So things can look different and I, you know,
00:10:54.580 | I'm here to say, it's true, it does change.
00:10:58.420 | No matter how much you love all the things
00:11:01.040 | that you've always done,
00:11:02.200 | no matter how much of a traditionalist you are like I am,
00:11:06.440 | and one, especially of my daughters as well,
00:11:08.680 | we did it this way one time.
00:11:10.160 | So that has set a precedent and we must do it that way
00:11:12.980 | until Jesus comes back.
00:11:14.300 | As hard as we want to hold to all the things
00:11:17.800 | that we always loved, you do have to flex a little bit.
00:11:21.300 | But you know what, Kelly, I'll tell you,
00:11:22.980 | from the perspective of a mama
00:11:25.580 | with two grown married daughters
00:11:27.820 | who have their own families that they do celebrations with,
00:11:31.900 | there are things that your kids will continue
00:11:35.620 | to want to do with you.
00:11:37.660 | They're family traditions that will endure.
00:11:41.300 | - Yes, yes.
00:11:43.340 | It's funny that you say that because our eldest,
00:11:45.740 | who is away and will be coming home
00:11:47.300 | for Christmas break soon, has already messaged me
00:11:50.160 | with the Christmas cookies
00:11:51.620 | that he specifically wants to go home and bake with me.
00:11:55.420 | And so I know that there are, in their minds,
00:11:59.380 | those traditions are a tapestry
00:12:01.900 | that we have woven over time as a family.
00:12:05.040 | And each year they want to see that tapestry rolled out
00:12:09.540 | so they can find all of those threads
00:12:12.260 | that we had so carefully placed over the years before.
00:12:15.640 | And so his threads, I think,
00:12:17.340 | primarily involve things he can eat.
00:12:19.440 | - Yes, yes, yes.
00:12:20.900 | - Which is pretty typical, I think, for his age.
00:12:23.980 | But it gives me joy to begin preparing for that
00:12:27.260 | because I know it is so meaningful,
00:12:29.260 | not only for me, but also for him.
00:12:31.980 | - Yeah, oh, it's so true.
00:12:33.900 | And there are traditions that you,
00:12:36.620 | I alluded to it a minute ago,
00:12:38.340 | there are traditions that you start intentionally
00:12:42.940 | with your family. - Yes.
00:12:44.060 | - And then there are things that become tradition
00:12:46.580 | and you have no idea that this was gonna catch hold.
00:12:49.880 | And there are certain meals that I ask the girls,
00:12:53.600 | so you're coming home, so what is it that you,
00:12:56.640 | if you're coming for Christmas Eve, what do you want?
00:12:59.120 | You're coming, okay, so I can ask that.
00:13:02.400 | But if I ask them, what do you want for breakfast
00:13:04.320 | on Christmas morning or supper on Christmas night,
00:13:07.500 | they look at me like I have two heads.
00:13:09.340 | And they're like, well, I mean what we always have,
00:13:12.100 | why would you change that?
00:13:13.320 | And so one year, one year, I made chicken and dumplings
00:13:17.680 | for supper Christmas night.
00:13:19.420 | And I mostly think it's 'cause it was cold
00:13:22.020 | and we didn't need a super heavy meal.
00:13:24.720 | But that became the tradition.
00:13:26.960 | And now, I mean, if you come to my house on Christmas night,
00:13:30.080 | you're welcome, but we'll be having chicken and dumplings.
00:13:32.380 | (laughing)
00:13:33.220 | And so that's just gonna, so I'd like to know
00:13:35.300 | what is one tradition that you started intentionally
00:13:39.540 | with your family and then what is one that began
00:13:43.820 | unintentionally but continues?
00:13:46.340 | - Oh, okay, so my intentional tradition
00:13:50.060 | that Ken and I both decided to do with our children
00:13:53.680 | involves decorating the tree.
00:13:55.620 | So we always, our tree is very full, very, very full.
00:14:00.620 | And so we put on all of the, what my husband calls
00:14:04.220 | the fluffy ornaments, the things that really don't have
00:14:06.520 | significance but are beautiful to look at.
00:14:09.080 | And the very last thing that we do when we decorate the tree
00:14:12.780 | is each year as a family, we lay out our ornaments
00:14:16.880 | that are associated with each year
00:14:20.060 | that our family has celebrated together.
00:14:22.340 | And so we put them, we lay them out on the floor
00:14:24.660 | almost like a timeline of our family.
00:14:28.300 | And as we are putting one ornament at a time up on the tree,
00:14:33.300 | we actually are telling the story of our family.
00:14:37.460 | And it brings me to tears almost every single year
00:14:41.440 | because we are decorating the tree and making it beautiful,
00:14:45.260 | but we are reflecting on the goodness of God
00:14:48.420 | in the life of our family.
00:14:50.040 | And so that either began very intentionally
00:14:53.200 | and I will say, our children still say,
00:14:56.100 | not the year ornaments, not the year ornaments,
00:14:58.400 | I want to put up 2004 or let me put up 2007.
00:15:02.980 | And it just is a wonderful time of intentional reflection
00:15:07.580 | on the goodness of God in our family.
00:15:10.980 | - I remember when my girls got married
00:15:13.340 | and their husbands helped us decorate the tree.
00:15:15.800 | One of the boys, I mean, we had been at this for a while
00:15:19.060 | and he looked up and he said to his wife,
00:15:22.580 | "Man, it takes your family a long time
00:15:25.100 | to decorate the tree."
00:15:26.940 | And she looked at him like, "I mean, you have married
00:15:29.300 | into the wrong clan if this bothers you."
00:15:31.220 | And I said, "Yes, honey, it takes a long time
00:15:35.160 | because we tell the stories every year.
00:15:39.180 | It is the story of our family's life together in the Lord
00:15:44.180 | and in the midst of what he brought to our life
00:15:48.900 | through the years."
00:15:49.900 | And so, yeah, I completely understand that.
00:15:52.220 | Okay, so what is your unintentional attention?
00:15:56.380 | - So this is a funny story.
00:15:58.060 | So when our children were little,
00:15:59.220 | we were really concerned about our porcelain nativity
00:16:04.220 | because they just wanted to hold baby Jesus.
00:16:09.300 | They wanted to hold Mary and Joseph
00:16:11.200 | and their little pudgy fists.
00:16:13.380 | And I just had visions of them being dashed on the floor.
00:16:17.100 | And then I wanted to preserve that beautiful set.
00:16:20.280 | So we went out to the store and we bought a Fisher Price
00:16:25.060 | little people nativity set so they could hold the baby.
00:16:29.700 | They could put him in the manger.
00:16:31.000 | They could play the song and the star would light up.
00:16:33.860 | And the funny thing about that is we always put it
00:16:38.060 | on our kitchen table because that was where we did school.
00:16:41.620 | - Right, you did your devotions and there it is.
00:16:44.060 | - Yes, so they could pick the pieces up.
00:16:45.740 | As we read through the Bible, through the Christmas story,
00:16:48.660 | during the month of December, they could hold those pieces
00:16:51.280 | and it made it very real and tangible
00:16:53.660 | for them as little people.
00:16:54.580 | Well, we got maybe three or four years
00:16:58.860 | after we started doing this together, just very casually.
00:17:03.460 | One day I got to the part of the story about the wise men.
00:17:08.300 | And it was the first time I think any of my children
00:17:10.940 | had connected the fact that the wise men
00:17:13.780 | were not standing there when baby Jesus was born.
00:17:17.620 | - They do not belong in the stable, yes.
00:17:19.340 | - Exactly, exactly.
00:17:20.500 | It wasn't like baby Jesus was born and he was swaddled
00:17:23.280 | and there were the gold frankincense and myrrh.
00:17:25.340 | And they were horrified that that little people,
00:17:28.900 | nativity set had the wise men.
00:17:30.940 | - Right, but that is not accurate.
00:17:33.540 | - So our eldest took them and our nativity was,
00:17:37.300 | our manger was sitting on the table and he took the wise men
00:17:40.580 | and he put them on the bookshelf in the hallway.
00:17:43.100 | And he said, "They're not there yet,
00:17:45.300 | "but they're gonna get there."
00:17:46.620 | And I watched in amusement over the next few days
00:17:50.840 | as the wise men would show up a little closer
00:17:54.540 | and a little closer and a little closer
00:17:57.180 | to our nativity sitting on the table.
00:17:59.580 | So I know a lot of people have Elf on the Shelf
00:18:02.180 | and we had, and we still do have wise men in the kitchen.
00:18:05.940 | - That is so perfect, I love that, I love that.
00:18:09.980 | I always struggle 'cause I don't really want
00:18:12.100 | to put the wise men with the manger and with the stable,
00:18:16.800 | but it's like, okay, but it belongs to the set,
00:18:18.760 | where am I gonna put it?
00:18:20.260 | So that is awesome, that is awesome.
00:18:23.220 | So I can tell, I mean, you have lots of traditions already
00:18:28.180 | that you've told us about that really helped you
00:18:32.300 | and Ken keep the deeper meaning of Christmas
00:18:36.120 | at the forefront, you know, the nativity
00:18:38.320 | and talking over the providence of God
00:18:41.280 | through all of the years.
00:18:42.780 | Are there other things that you guys did intentionally,
00:18:46.300 | especially when your kids were young,
00:18:48.620 | to keep the deep meaning of Christmas
00:18:51.180 | at the forefront of your celebrations?
00:18:54.020 | - Wow, well, you know, I think it goes without saying
00:18:56.540 | that we would always make an effort
00:18:58.660 | to read the Christmas story to our children
00:19:01.480 | and we would not only read it, but we would talk about it.
00:19:05.000 | We would talk about what do you think Mary felt?
00:19:07.900 | How would you feel?
00:19:09.240 | You know, what do you think,
00:19:11.680 | why do you think the wise men brought these gifts?
00:19:14.340 | We would ask questions to our children.
00:19:17.420 | And so, you know, it made them really carefully ponder
00:19:22.180 | not only the words that you see in scripture,
00:19:25.500 | but the humanity surrounding that moment.
00:19:29.420 | We also, as a family, love to sing together.
00:19:33.380 | And so we would sing, and we still do,
00:19:36.300 | sing Christmas carols together.
00:19:38.580 | We play Christmas music constantly
00:19:41.220 | in the house on the Alexa.
00:19:43.540 | You know, I think our poor Alexa is probably already tired
00:19:46.100 | of playing Christmas music at this point in the year.
00:19:48.740 | - She'll get over it, she'll get over it.
00:19:50.980 | - Even now, you know, when the kids come downstairs,
00:19:55.780 | you know, from their rooms in the morning,
00:19:58.060 | you know, they will begin playing music
00:20:00.480 | and they're in a constant state of Christmas.
00:20:04.040 | And you know, when they were young,
00:20:05.460 | we really tried to set the season apart,
00:20:08.460 | not as a season of commercialism,
00:20:11.120 | but as a season of reflection on the goodness of God.
00:20:16.060 | And so, you know, we would collect items
00:20:19.660 | for Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes,
00:20:23.460 | and we would take those to church.
00:20:25.860 | And, you know, we've tried to look for, as a family,
00:20:29.980 | opportunities to serve others in this season.
00:20:33.300 | So it became a season of just quiet reflection for them
00:20:38.300 | in a world that can be very preoccupied with busy,
00:20:43.140 | you know, during this time.
00:20:45.060 | And that's not to say that we didn't do lots
00:20:47.260 | of fun things too, you know, but we, you know,
00:20:51.380 | in the midst of all of, you know, the hustle and bustle
00:20:55.380 | and shopping and wrapping gifts and going here and there,
00:21:00.140 | we wanted them to be able to reflect
00:21:02.020 | on what is truly the heart of Christmas,
00:21:04.340 | and that is Christ coming to this world as a baby.
00:21:07.140 | And so that was always something
00:21:10.280 | that we really tried hard to prioritize with them,
00:21:14.140 | particularly when they were young and shaping their ideas
00:21:17.500 | of what Christmas is and what it should be.
00:21:20.100 | - Right, and what is important to your family?
00:21:22.060 | What will you spend the most time talking about?
00:21:26.060 | And it does, you're exactly right, Kelly.
00:21:29.620 | It really shapes the way they see the holiday
00:21:33.180 | and the way they experience the holiday as they grow up.
00:21:38.180 | And I can see now, you know,
00:21:40.300 | my girls shaping their own families around that reflection
00:21:45.160 | on the goodness of God and the gift of baby Jesus.
00:21:49.520 | And you're right, there are lots of ways
00:21:51.800 | to still make it a delightful, fun celebration
00:21:55.760 | that your kids can understand
00:21:58.380 | and they can take delight and joy in.
00:22:01.340 | 'Cause I know you and I are on the same page
00:22:04.100 | when it comes to playing.
00:22:06.020 | We are in favor of it.
00:22:07.900 | I mean, I think that probably when our team gets together,
00:22:11.600 | we are among the most playful people.
00:22:14.060 | I really, I honestly think that play
00:22:18.860 | is the work of childhood.
00:22:20.340 | I actually think Einstein might have said that,
00:22:23.180 | but I actually think we teach our children so much
00:22:27.500 | through engaging their playful natures.
00:22:31.060 | And so as we talk about ways that families
00:22:34.480 | can simplify advent by playing together,
00:22:39.480 | I want us to focus a little bit specifically on play.
00:22:44.840 | So let me ask you, I wanna pick your brain.
00:22:47.400 | How do you think play helps children learn?
00:22:52.200 | - Oh, I remember reading a quote
00:22:54.400 | that play is the work of childhood.
00:22:56.480 | And I think that is so true because when you're young,
00:23:01.400 | and you're imagining and you're laughing
00:23:05.760 | and you're just entertaining the idea
00:23:10.520 | of what imagination allows you to believe
00:23:15.360 | and to experience.
00:23:18.500 | There is a deeper work that has begun at that point
00:23:23.300 | in the mind and the heart of a child.
00:23:25.820 | Because I look at all three of my children now
00:23:29.420 | and they are rife with imagination.
00:23:31.840 | And I think it's because when they were younger,
00:23:35.080 | I would pretend with them.
00:23:38.280 | And as an adult, I made it acceptable for us to play.
00:23:43.280 | And Lisa, in the years before we began our family,
00:23:47.340 | I was a classroom teacher.
00:23:49.600 | And so I worked with little people even then.
00:23:54.600 | And so in my mind, I thought, how can we use play
00:23:58.880 | to help us to learn?
00:24:00.540 | So, even thinking about that in the Christmas season,
00:24:03.640 | one of the things that I did for my children
00:24:05.440 | when they were little was I would make play dough,
00:24:08.720 | homemade play dough for them.
00:24:10.560 | And at Christmas time, I had to give them warnings
00:24:13.320 | because I didn't want it to end up in their mouth.
00:24:16.220 | That would be a not tasty surprise.
00:24:18.180 | - Not a good surprise.
00:24:19.860 | - But I would put cinnamon and ginger
00:24:23.480 | and all of these spices that would make that play dough
00:24:27.000 | seem like gingerbread dough.
00:24:29.300 | And they would roll it out and they would smell their hands
00:24:33.640 | and they would make gingerbread men using my cookie cutters,
00:24:36.960 | even when they were little and put beads on them for eyes.
00:24:41.660 | And we would read the story of the gingerbread man.
00:24:44.820 | And there were so many wonderful things
00:24:48.160 | that we did when they were little
00:24:49.880 | that I still have conversations with them about now.
00:24:54.520 | And our youngest has said, "Oh, when I have a family,
00:24:57.360 | "I'm going to fill in the blank here."
00:24:59.860 | And so, playing with our children
00:25:03.160 | not only increases their scope for imagination,
00:25:07.160 | but it also gives them the foundation
00:25:11.780 | for what they may want to do in the future
00:25:14.360 | with their own families.
00:25:16.280 | And I think that's a pretty great thing.
00:25:18.440 | - Oh, I do too.
00:25:20.040 | I think a lot of times play will really help kids
00:25:24.200 | engage their emotions.
00:25:26.240 | I think imagination is so great
00:25:31.800 | and stories for the same reason,
00:25:33.960 | because they help our children experience things
00:25:37.720 | that they're not experiencing in real life.
00:25:41.120 | And so I know one of my daughters says,
00:25:45.580 | "Oh, I've lived a thousand lives through the books
00:25:49.560 | "I've read and through the history sentences
00:25:53.140 | "I have played in the backyard woods.
00:25:55.240 | "I have lived a thousand different lives."
00:25:57.400 | She'll say, "I've been an orphan, I've been a pirate queen,
00:26:01.440 | "I've been a pilgrim, I've been an Indian princess."
00:26:06.200 | She's been all of these things.
00:26:09.120 | She's lived all of these lives and it helps them to feel.
00:26:13.200 | We used to act out the Christmas story.
00:26:15.900 | But one of the years, one year,
00:26:19.420 | this was just so traumatic for me as a young mom,
00:26:22.840 | but my kids thought it was wonderful.
00:26:24.680 | We lived in this drafty old parsonage
00:26:26.800 | and one Christmas Eve, it was the coldest
00:26:29.360 | I ever remember it being and the power went out.
00:26:34.360 | And so we had nothing but one fireplace in the living room.
00:26:38.300 | And when the power went out, I had my sweet little girls,
00:26:41.200 | two and four years old in the bathtub with wet hair
00:26:45.380 | and I'm freaking out.
00:26:47.560 | And so we bundled them up and brought them to the fire
00:26:50.500 | and we made it such a fun thing.
00:26:52.060 | So we spread a big picnic cloth blanket out.
00:26:55.020 | And like you said, we made lots of things out of Play-Doh
00:26:57.740 | and then they really needed to get up and move around
00:27:00.400 | and they were like, "Well, we'll just act out
00:27:02.660 | "the Christmas story."
00:27:03.560 | So they went and they found props.
00:27:06.180 | And you know, Daddy had to be the shepherd and Joseph
00:27:09.400 | and the white man and then we all took turns being animals.
00:27:13.320 | We acted it out 40 different ways.
00:27:15.920 | Everybody got to be a character.
00:27:17.720 | And we talked about what did those characters feel or think
00:27:21.660 | or what did they see?
00:27:22.500 | And we would get down hands and knees and say,
00:27:24.600 | "What do you think the donkey can see?
00:27:26.840 | "And what do you think the donkey thought?"
00:27:28.620 | And so that imagination, that is great.
00:27:31.860 | It helped my kids when they were preschoolers
00:27:35.060 | think about the Christmas story as something real
00:27:39.220 | that real people experienced.
00:27:42.380 | But we asked them to imagine
00:27:44.820 | what those feelings could have been.
00:27:46.560 | And that was really cool.
00:27:47.900 | That was a good thing.
00:27:49.900 | - Yes, I'm sitting here thinking about
00:27:52.220 | when all three of ours were young,
00:27:55.340 | one of the ways that we engaged their imagination
00:27:58.660 | was that we had supplies at the ready
00:28:02.060 | for them to wrap up things in their rooms
00:28:04.900 | or to put them in gift bags with tissue paper
00:28:07.820 | and then to present each other with presents
00:28:10.980 | from their rooms.
00:28:12.220 | And I still remember our youngest,
00:28:14.860 | she was maybe, oh, maybe four or five years old,
00:28:18.380 | just old enough to really begin to understand
00:28:22.340 | the giving of gifts at Christmas time.
00:28:26.540 | And I remember she had this Christmas bag
00:28:30.060 | that was, oh, it was so raggedy-taggedy
00:28:32.100 | because she loved it so much.
00:28:34.100 | And she would bring me, throughout the day,
00:28:36.940 | random items from her room in this Christmas bag.
00:28:41.200 | And so I would always make sure to open it
00:28:45.340 | as if I was surprised and then pull out the tissue paper
00:28:49.220 | and go, oh, it's just what I wanted.
00:28:52.420 | And she would cackle.
00:28:54.180 | And then I would find some humorous way
00:28:56.940 | to use whatever she had brought me.
00:28:59.300 | If it was a baby doll bottle,
00:29:01.260 | I would pretend to drink out of it.
00:29:03.180 | Or if it was a blanket,
00:29:04.840 | I would wrap it around my shoulders like a shawl
00:29:07.240 | and we would dance around together.
00:29:10.180 | And it made her, it delighted her to give.
00:29:15.220 | And I think, just like you were saying,
00:29:17.900 | I think that is a wonderful thing.
00:29:20.380 | She was playing a giving.
00:29:22.220 | Now, as a teenager, she comes to me and says,
00:29:24.980 | "Wow, Mom, you know what?
00:29:26.380 | I think this person needs this.
00:29:29.020 | And I think I'm gonna see if I can give that to them."
00:29:31.180 | And it created this spirit of generosity in her
00:29:35.500 | as a little person that, probably at that moment,
00:29:39.260 | we were just having fun and celebrating together.
00:29:43.500 | But it brought about beautiful consequences for her
00:29:47.540 | as a teen that will hopefully carry on with her
00:29:50.580 | into the future.
00:29:51.520 | So I agree with you.
00:29:52.980 | Imagination is a powerful tool to help shape our children
00:29:57.980 | into the people that they are going to be.
00:30:02.020 | And we have to harness that as parents
00:30:06.300 | and use it wisely to shape them into people
00:30:10.100 | who are seeking what is good and true and beautiful.
00:30:15.020 | - I love that.
00:30:15.920 | I love that, Kelly.
00:30:16.840 | And it happens in ways that you don't realize
00:30:21.840 | are becoming so ingrained.
00:30:25.500 | I know that one of the things that we did with our family,
00:30:29.580 | my husband likes to work with wood.
00:30:31.740 | And so he made a little manger and we would get some hay
00:30:35.100 | and we would put it in there.
00:30:36.000 | And the manger was out on a low table
00:30:39.080 | where the girls could see it all through December,
00:30:41.220 | the empty manger.
00:30:42.560 | And we would, every day, every morning,
00:30:44.580 | when they were really little, they would get up.
00:30:47.460 | Even when Stephanie was young,
00:30:49.200 | I would get her out of the crib
00:30:50.620 | and we would go and look at the manger.
00:30:52.420 | No, baby, Jesus is not there.
00:30:54.260 | It's not Christmas morning yet.
00:30:56.340 | And so it became a thing where they always, as they grew,
00:31:00.860 | they would pass by and see the manger well
00:31:05.940 | on Christmas morning when Stephanie woke up,
00:31:09.440 | when she was a little tiny child.
00:31:11.840 | The habit was go to check and lo and behold,
00:31:14.520 | baby Jesus was there.
00:31:16.000 | We had talked so much about Christmas is about Jesus
00:31:21.880 | and we focus on Jesus and we're always thinking,
00:31:24.200 | so when we go to get the tree,
00:31:26.160 | what kind of trees might Jesus have sent?
00:31:27.800 | We were always talking about Jesus.
00:31:30.400 | And so she was like, "Oh, baby Jesus has come!"
00:31:35.600 | And so she grabbed him.
00:31:37.180 | She said, "Come on, baby Jesus, let's go see the presents."
00:31:41.180 | And so she was little.
00:31:43.380 | So she grabbed baby Jesus.
00:31:45.300 | She was almost two the first year that we did that,
00:31:49.220 | but she was a precocious talkative, too.
00:31:51.820 | And so she grabbed baby Jesus
00:31:53.340 | and she would unwrap a present
00:31:56.140 | and she would hold baby Jesus up,
00:31:57.360 | "Look, baby Jesus, see it, see it?"
00:31:59.620 | And then she would tuck it back under her arm.
00:32:02.320 | And so Kelly, I hope, I don't know,
00:32:04.360 | I guess they would be okay
00:32:06.060 | if I had told this out to the world at large.
00:32:08.920 | That manger, the very same manger
00:32:12.260 | is still part of our Christmas decorations.
00:32:14.760 | And my kids still, although they have their own homes,
00:32:18.000 | they spend Christmas Eve night with us.
00:32:21.000 | And when they come up, the manger on Christmas Eve
00:32:25.720 | is moved to downstairs where their bedrooms are.
00:32:29.000 | And when they come upstairs to see the tree
00:32:31.000 | on Christmas morning, they have baby Jesus in their arms.
00:32:34.480 | Still.
00:32:35.760 | - I love it.
00:32:36.600 | - And so I'm like, okay,
00:32:37.780 | that was an unintentional random thing
00:32:41.600 | that this little young mama did,
00:32:44.120 | not thinking it was gonna be a tradition.
00:32:46.960 | But it is such a tradition that Jesus has stayed the focus
00:32:50.880 | of Christmas for them.
00:32:53.220 | And I'm super glad about that.
00:32:55.880 | All right, let's brainstorm.
00:32:59.080 | 'Cause I know you have a very fertile imagination, friend.
00:33:02.220 | And some of our listeners might be thinking,
00:33:06.160 | y'all had a lot of fun in your family,
00:33:07.660 | but I'm not sure that I can play like that with my kids.
00:33:10.640 | Let's brainstorm some ways to play as a family this season.
00:33:15.640 | Give me an idea.
00:33:19.960 | - I think the first thing I will say
00:33:21.720 | before I generate any ideas
00:33:23.480 | is please don't be afraid to get messy.
00:33:26.920 | Because play is not always organized and clean.
00:33:31.320 | Sometimes it is messy.
00:33:33.580 | So I would say if you have younger children,
00:33:36.680 | one of the things that my kids loved,
00:33:39.000 | we would squirt some shaving cream on the countertop
00:33:41.860 | and they would draw with their little fingers.
00:33:45.280 | And I would say, draw a Christmas tree.
00:33:47.880 | Draw, and they would draw those out
00:33:50.780 | and then we would clean off the countertop.
00:33:52.800 | Or if you're a little less inclined to mess,
00:33:56.720 | you can always put hair gel or something like that
00:33:59.840 | into a Ziploc bag and tape it shut.
00:34:02.360 | And then they can draw on top of that.
00:34:05.520 | I think also for little people,
00:34:09.280 | like what I was saying before,
00:34:11.200 | making Play-Doh is so simple.
00:34:13.800 | It only takes a few ingredients,
00:34:15.620 | but when you mix in spices
00:34:18.000 | that just remind you of the Christmas season,
00:34:20.680 | it makes it come alive for your children.
00:34:24.320 | Just make sure to warn them not to put it in their mouths
00:34:27.000 | because typically that kind of Play-Doh has a lot of salt.
00:34:30.160 | And so it will not be as pleasant to taste
00:34:32.680 | as it is to smell.
00:34:34.840 | I would also say for students who are children
00:34:38.520 | who are a little older,
00:34:40.440 | just because you haven't done something in the past,
00:34:43.440 | don't be afraid to start a new tradition with them
00:34:45.880 | at any moment.
00:34:46.920 | Like you were saying, chicken and dumplings
00:34:50.400 | was something that happened out of necessity
00:34:52.380 | because it was cold
00:34:53.680 | and probably because you had chicken in your fridge,
00:34:55.560 | but it became a tradition.
00:34:58.440 | Put your children in the car
00:34:59.920 | and take a thermos with some hot chocolate in it
00:35:03.320 | and just go look at Christmas lights together as a family.
00:35:06.320 | Play Christmas music on the radio.
00:35:09.880 | If your church has services that you can attend together,
00:35:14.880 | do that.
00:35:16.240 | Even doing something as simple as standing outside
00:35:19.920 | with candles or even for the littlest people,
00:35:22.960 | battery operated tea lights
00:35:24.760 | so they don't catch anything on fire
00:35:26.680 | and singing "Joy to the World, Our Silent Night"
00:35:30.200 | is simple but meaningful to your family
00:35:34.920 | as long as you're doing it together.
00:35:36.800 | I think that's the key, Lisa, really.
00:35:39.480 | The memories that my children have around this season
00:35:43.280 | regarding play were special,
00:35:45.600 | not just because of what we were doing,
00:35:47.300 | but because of who we were doing it with.
00:35:50.280 | - Oh, so much.
00:35:51.800 | - And I mean, that just to me,
00:35:54.080 | the togetherness and the communal delight
00:35:59.080 | of doing those things as a family
00:36:01.960 | makes them the memories that will last.
00:36:05.480 | And so it does not take a lot of time or energy
00:36:09.680 | to get a shoebox and put a blanket in it and a baby doll
00:36:12.760 | and to do the exact same thing that you did
00:36:15.440 | with your girls when they were young.
00:36:17.760 | Just being intentional to think about the Christmas story
00:36:21.560 | through the eyes of a child, what would they imagine?
00:36:26.520 | What would they want to pretend?
00:36:28.920 | I mean, I can remember both of my boys
00:36:31.800 | pretending to be wise men.
00:36:33.120 | They would wrap blankets around themselves.
00:36:35.840 | And I think I'm trying to remember now what it was.
00:36:39.440 | There was a shoebox that I think they wrapped
00:36:41.180 | in aluminum foil and that became the gold
00:36:44.080 | and a perfume bottle from my vanity tray
00:36:47.520 | became the frankincense and then also the myrrh
00:36:50.640 | and they would travel together to bring those things.
00:36:54.880 | And just giving your children permission to wonder
00:36:59.880 | I think is also a Christmas gift that we can give to them
00:37:05.480 | that will continue to be given year after year after year
00:37:09.240 | as they take those traditions
00:37:10.520 | and they pass them on to their children.
00:37:13.320 | And I think as parents, one of the best gifts
00:37:17.000 | that we can give our children is to allow them
00:37:20.280 | to use their imagination to wonder.
00:37:22.960 | Because even as an adult, I still read the Christmas story
00:37:27.280 | and I wonder about so many things.
00:37:30.600 | How could God send his only son to earth as a baby?
00:37:35.000 | How could Mary, now that I'm a mother,
00:37:37.840 | how could Mary endure that trek
00:37:41.120 | knowing that she was pregnant? - Oh my word, yes.
00:37:43.640 | - There are so many things that in my mind I wonder
00:37:46.240 | and I imagine.
00:37:47.480 | And play as an adult to me now doesn't look quite the same
00:37:51.760 | as it did when I was little, but that spirit of wonder,
00:37:55.640 | of wondering about why and how still continues on.
00:38:01.680 | And hopefully that gift I've been able to pass on
00:38:06.920 | to my children and hopefully, like you,
00:38:10.560 | to my grandchildren in the future as well.
00:38:14.480 | - Yeah, I love, you know what, the best thing to me
00:38:18.840 | about what you said was a great encouragement
00:38:23.840 | that playing together with our children,
00:38:28.240 | it doesn't depend on you thinking up some grand,
00:38:32.600 | new, flashy plan or something utterly outrageous.
00:38:37.600 | It can be something that your children play
00:38:41.440 | or that you've played with them a hundred times
00:38:44.720 | like dollhouse, but you are intentionally doing it together
00:38:49.720 | and that is what makes it special.
00:38:55.240 | That is how you can simplify your Advent celebration
00:39:00.240 | this year, families, is by doing life together.
00:39:05.320 | Play together.
00:39:07.040 | Some of you probably recognize those verbs of pray together,
00:39:12.040 | play together, read together, explore together,
00:39:16.240 | and serve together as the backbone
00:39:19.480 | of what we encourage young families to do in Scribblers.
00:39:23.200 | And so I just wanna say, I wanna be transparent,
00:39:26.240 | those ideas come from our new resource,
00:39:29.920 | Scribblers at Home, Recipes from Lifelong Learners.
00:39:33.760 | And right now, if you are looking for a Christmas gift
00:39:38.560 | for a family that you know and love,
00:39:41.480 | a copy of Scribblers at Home might be just the ticket.
00:39:45.480 | It is full of lots of fun, intentional play
00:39:50.480 | that families can do together.
00:39:52.080 | It's easy to follow those step-by-step activities
00:39:55.440 | and you've got something for everybody.
00:39:57.880 | The art lover, the history lover, the math person,
00:40:01.400 | the science explorer, everything is in there
00:40:05.320 | that you would need to play with your family.
00:40:07.880 | So make a family's Christmas unforgettable
00:40:11.240 | this year with Scribblers.
00:40:12.800 | And if you want to learn more about that resource,
00:40:17.360 | visit classicalconversations.com/scribblers.
00:40:22.360 | It is really true that the best gifts
00:40:28.720 | that we give our family involve time spent together.
00:40:33.200 | So this Advent season, you guys,
00:40:36.160 | be encouraged to simplify, cut out some of the busy
00:40:40.760 | and substitute some togetherness.
00:40:44.280 | Kelly, thank you so much for helping me think about
00:40:47.160 | how we can play together with our families
00:40:50.360 | and why that is so desirable.
00:40:52.440 | - Absolutely.
00:40:54.440 | Well, and I would just say to parents,
00:40:56.840 | the key is not just to play, but to do it together.
00:41:01.840 | Because in years to come,
00:41:03.760 | your children may forget the activity,
00:41:06.720 | but they will certainly not forget who they did it with.
00:41:10.320 | - Oh, that's so perfect.
00:41:11.920 | Thank you, that is the perfect spot to say Merry Christmas
00:41:15.640 | and goodbye.
00:41:17.320 | And listeners, I'll see you next Tuesday
00:41:21.200 | and we will talk about another one of our ways
00:41:25.560 | to simplify Advent.
00:41:27.800 | See you next time.
00:41:29.600 | (gentle music)
00:41:32.200 | you
00:41:34.260 | [BLANK_AUDIO]