2024-06-19_The_Go-Getter-A_Story_That_Tells_You_How_to_be_One
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00:00:29.080 | Mr. Alden P. Ricks, known in Pacific Coast wholesale lumber and shipping circles as Cappy Ricks,
00:00:38.140 | had more troubles than a hen with ducklings.
00:00:42.560 | He remarked as much to Mr. Skinner, president and general manager of the Ricks Logging and Lumbering Company,
00:00:50.360 | the corporate entity which represented Cappy's vast lumber interests.
00:00:55.160 | And he fairly barked the information at Captain Matt Peasley, his son-in-law,
00:01:00.760 | and also president and manager of the Blue Star Navigation Company,
00:01:05.400 | another corporate entity which represented the Ricks' interest in the American mercantile marine.
00:01:11.220 | Mr. Skinner received this information in silence.
00:01:15.160 | He was not related to Cappy Ricks, but Matt Peasley sat down,
00:01:20.460 | crossed his legs, and matched glares with his mercurial father-in-law.
00:01:26.000 | "You have troubles," he jeered with emphasis on the pronoun.
00:01:31.200 | "Have you got a misery in your back, or is Herbert Hoover the wrong man for secretary of commerce?"
00:01:36.880 | "Stow your sarcasm, young feller," Cappy shrilled.
00:01:40.380 | "You know Dad Blaine well it isn't a question of health or politics.
00:01:43.960 | It's the fact that in my old age, I find myself totally surrounded by the choicest aggregation of mental duds
00:01:51.720 | since Ajax defied the lightning."
00:01:54.820 | "Meaning whom?"
00:01:56.560 | "You and Skinner."
00:01:58.860 | "Why? What have we done?"
00:02:01.060 | "You argued me into taking on the management of 25 of those infernal shipping board freighters.
00:02:06.580 | And no sooner do we have them allocated to us than a near panic hits the country.
00:02:10.620 | Freight rates go to glory, marine engineers go on strike, and every infernal young whelp we send out to take charge
00:02:16.360 | of one of our offices in the Orient promptly gets the swelled head,
00:02:20.160 | then thinks he's divinely ordained to drink up all the synthetic scotch whiskey manufactured in Japan
00:02:25.620 | for the benefit of thirsty Americans.
00:02:27.620 | In my old age, you two have forced us into the position of having to fire folks by cable.
00:02:33.160 | Why? Because we're breaking into a game that can't be played on the home grounds.
00:02:37.520 | A lot of our business is so far away, we can't control it."
00:02:41.620 | Matt Peasley leveled an accusing finger at Cappy Ricks.
00:02:45.480 | "We never argued you into taking over the management of those shipping board boats.
00:02:49.320 | We argued me into it.
00:02:51.320 | I'm the goat.
00:02:52.420 | You have nothing to do with it.
00:02:53.720 | You retired 10 years ago.
00:02:55.480 | All the troubles in the marine end of this shop belong on my capable shoulders, old settler."
00:03:00.520 | "Theoretically, yes.
00:03:02.520 | Actually, no.
00:03:04.580 | I hope you do not expect me to abandon mental as well as physical effort, great wampus cats.
00:03:09.980 | Am I to be denied a sentimental interest in matters where I have a controlling financial interest?
00:03:14.820 | I admit you two boys are running my affairs, and ordinarily you run them rather well, but...
00:03:20.080 | but... ahem.
00:03:21.720 | Harumph.
00:03:22.680 | What's the matter with you, Matt?
00:03:24.180 | And you also, Skinner?
00:03:25.480 | If Matt makes a mistake, it's your job to remind him of it before the results manifest themselves, is it not?
00:03:30.780 | And vice versa.
00:03:31.980 | Have you two boobs lost your ability to judgment, or did you ever have such ability?"
00:03:37.480 | "You're referring to Henderson of the Shanghai office, I dare say," Mr. Skinner cut in.
00:03:42.480 | "I am, Skinner, and I'm here to remind you that if we'd stuck to our own game, which is coast-wise shipping,
00:03:48.680 | and had left the Trans-Pacific Field with its general cargoes to others,
00:03:52.380 | we wouldn't have any Shanghai office at this moment, and we would not be pestered by the Hendersons of this world.
00:03:58.980 | He's the best lumber salesman we've ever had."
00:04:01.580 | Mr. Skinner defended.
00:04:02.980 | "I had every hope that he would send us orders for many a cargo for Asiatic delivery.
00:04:07.780 | And he had gone through every job in this office, from office boy to sales manager in the lumber department,
00:04:12.880 | and from freight clerk to passenger agent in the navigation company," Matt Peasley supplemented.
00:04:18.280 | "I admit all of that, but did you consult me when you decided to send him out to China on his own?"
00:04:23.580 | "Of course not.
00:04:24.880 | I'm boss of the Blue Star Navigation Company, am I not?
00:04:28.080 | The man was in charge of the Shanghai office before you ever opened your mouth to discharge your cargo of free advice."
00:04:34.380 | "I told you then that Henderson wouldn't make good, didn't I?"
00:04:37.680 | "You did.
00:04:38.880 | And now I have an opportunity to tell you the little tale you didn't give me an opportunity to tell you before you sent him out.
00:04:44.380 | Henderson was a good man, a crackerjack man, when he had a better man over him.
00:04:49.980 | But I've been 20 years reducing a tendency on the part of that fellow's head to bust his hatband,
00:04:55.080 | and now he's gone south with 130,000 tales of our Shanghai bank account."
00:05:00.580 | "Permit me to remind you, Mr. Ricks," Mr. Skinner cut in coldly,
00:05:05.580 | "that he was bonded to the extent of a quarter of a million dollars."
00:05:09.380 | "Not a peep out of you, Skinner.
00:05:11.080 | Not a peep.
00:05:12.280 | Permit me to remind you that I'm the little genius who placed that insurance unknown to you and Matt.
00:05:17.880 | And I recall now that I was reminded by you, Matthew, my son,
00:05:21.780 | that I had retired 10 years ago, and please, would I quit interfering in the internal administration of your office?"
00:05:29.880 | "Well, I must admit, your farsightedness in that instance will keep the Shanghai office out of the red ink this year," Matt Peasley replied.
00:05:37.780 | "However, we face this situation, Cappy.
00:05:40.280 | Henderson is drunk and gambled and signed chits in excess of his salary.
00:05:44.480 | He hasn't attended to business, and he's capped his inefficiency by absconding with our bank account.
00:05:49.880 | We couldn't foresee that.
00:05:51.480 | When we send a man out to the Orient to be our manager there, we have to trust him all the way or not at all.
00:05:56.580 | So there's no use weeping over spilled milk, Cappy.
00:05:59.480 | Our job is to select a successor to Henderson and send him out to Shanghai on the next boat."
00:06:04.980 | "Oh, very well, Matt," Cappy replied magnanimously.
00:06:08.880 | "I'll not rub it into you.
00:06:10.480 | I suppose I'm far from generous, bawling you out like this.
00:06:14.180 | Perhaps when you're my age and have a lot of mental and moral cripples nip you and draw blood as often as they've drawn it on me,
00:06:20.580 | you'll be a better judge than I of men worthy of the weight of responsibility.
00:06:24.480 | Skinner, have you got a candidate for this job?"
00:06:27.180 | "I regret to say, sir, I have not.
00:06:29.280 | All of the men in my department are quite young, too young for the responsibility."
00:06:33.280 | "What do you mean, young?" Cappy blazed.
00:06:36.080 | "Well, the only man I would consider for the job is Andrews, and he's too young, about 30, I should say."
00:06:41.480 | "About 30, eh?
00:06:42.780 | Strikes me you were about 28 when I threw 10,000 a year at you in actual cash
00:06:47.280 | and a couple of million dollars worth of responsibility."
00:06:50.080 | "Yes, sir, but then Andrews has never been tested.
00:06:53.080 | Skinner!" Cappy interrupted in his most awful voice.
00:06:56.980 | "It's a constant source of amazement to me why I refrain from firing you.
00:07:01.980 | You say Andrews has never been tested.
00:07:04.780 | Why hasn't he been tested?
00:07:06.680 | Why are we maintaining untested material in this shop anyhow, eh?
00:07:10.580 | Answer me that."
00:07:12.180 | "Tut, tut, tut, not a peep out of you, sir.
00:07:14.780 | If you'd done your Christian duty, you would have taken a year's vacation when lumber was selling itself in 1919 and 1920,
00:07:23.180 | and you would have left Andrews sitting in at your desk to see the sort of stuff he's made of."
00:07:28.780 | "It's a mighty lucky thing I didn't go away for a year," Skinner protested respectfully,
00:07:33.480 | "because the market broke like that,
00:07:35.780 | and if you don't think we have to hustle to sell sufficient lumber to keep our own ships busy freighting it—"
00:07:40.880 | "Skinner, how dare you contradict me!
00:07:43.380 | How old was Matt Peasley when I turned over the Blue Star Navigation Company to him?
00:07:48.180 | Lock, stock, and barrel.
00:07:49.780 | Why, he wasn't 26 years old.
00:07:52.080 | Skinner, you're a dodo.
00:07:54.080 | The killjoys like you who have straddled the neck of industry and throttled it
00:07:58.380 | with absurd theories that a man's back must be bent like an oxbow
00:08:02.780 | and his locks snowy white before he can be entrusted with responsibility and a living wage
00:08:08.580 | have caused all of our wars and strikes.
00:08:11.780 | This is a young man's world, Skinner, and don't you ever forget it.
00:08:15.780 | The go-getters of this world are under 30 years of age."
00:08:19.180 | "Matt," he concluded, turning to his son-in-law,
00:08:21.980 | "what do you think of Andrews for that Shanghai job?"
00:08:25.480 | "I think he'll do."
00:08:27.180 | "Why do you think he'll do?"
00:08:29.480 | "Because he ought to do.
00:08:31.080 | He's been with us long enough to have acquired sufficient experience to enable him.
00:08:35.680 | Has he acquired the courage to tackle the job, Matt?"
00:08:38.880 | Cappy interrupted.
00:08:40.280 | "That's more important than his doggone experience you and Skinner prayed so much about."
00:08:45.880 | "I know nothing of his courage.
00:08:47.680 | I assume that he has force and initiative.
00:08:50.280 | I know he has a pleasing personality."
00:08:52.780 | "Well, before we send him out, we ought to know whether or know he has force and initiative."
00:08:59.480 | "Then," quote Matt, peasily rising,
00:09:03.180 | "I wash my hands of the job of selecting Henderson's successor.
00:09:07.080 | You've butted in, so I suggest you name the lucky man."
00:09:11.680 | "Yes, indeed," Skinner agreed.
00:09:13.980 | "I'm sure it's quite beyond my poor abilities to uncover Andrews' force and initiative on such notice.
00:09:21.180 | He does possess sufficient force and initiative for his present job,
00:09:25.280 | but will he possess force and initiative when he has to make a quick decision 6,000 miles from expert advice
00:09:32.580 | and stand or fall by that decision?
00:09:35.180 | That's what we want to know, Skinner."
00:09:37.480 | "I suggest, sir," Mr. Skinner replied with chill politeness,
00:09:42.280 | "that you conduct the examination."
00:09:45.080 | "I accept the nomination, Skinner, by the Holy Pink Toad Prophet.
00:09:48.580 | The next man we send out to that Shanghai office is going to be a go-getter.
00:09:53.480 | We've had three managers go rotten on us, and that's three too many."
00:09:57.780 | And without further ado, Cappy swung his aged legs up onto his desk and slid down in his swivel chair
00:10:05.180 | until he rested on his spine.
00:10:07.780 | His head sank on his breast, and he closed his eyes.
00:10:12.080 | "He's framing the examination for Andrews," Matt Peasley whispered,
00:10:16.180 | as he and Skinner made their exits.
00:10:21.080 | Chapter 2
00:10:22.980 | The President Emeritus of the Rick's Interests was not destined to uninterrupted cogitation, however.
00:10:30.680 | Within ten minutes, his private exchange operator called him to the telephone.
00:10:35.680 | "What is it?" Cappy yelled into the transmitter.
00:10:39.180 | "There is a young man in the general office.
00:10:41.180 | His name is Mr. William E. Peck, and he desires to see you personally."
00:10:46.180 | Cappy sighed.
00:10:47.580 | "Very well," he replied. "Have him shown in."
00:10:51.180 | Almost immediately, the office boy ushered Mr. Peck into Cappy's presence.
00:10:55.380 | The moment he was fairly inside the door, the visitor halted,
00:10:58.680 | came easily and naturally to attention, and bowed respectfully,
00:11:04.480 | while the cool glance of his keen blue eyes held steadily the autocrat of the Blue Star Navigation Company.
00:11:11.780 | "Mr. Rick's? Peck is my name, sir. William E. Peck.
00:11:15.880 | Thank you, sir, for acceding to my request for an interview.
00:11:19.780 | Ahem! Ahem! Ahem!" Cappy looked belligerent.
00:11:23.980 | "Sit down, Mr. Peck!"
00:11:25.980 | Mr. Peck sat down, but as he crossed to the chair beside Cappy's desk,
00:11:30.980 | the old gentleman noticed that his visitor walked with a slight limp,
00:11:35.480 | and that his left forearm had been amputated halfway to the elbow.
00:11:40.480 | To the observant Cappy, the American Legion button in Mr. Peck's lapel told the story.
00:11:46.780 | "Well, Mr. Peck," he queried gently,
00:11:49.480 | "what can I do for you?"
00:11:51.280 | "I've called for my job," the veteran replied briefly.
00:11:54.680 | "By the holy pink-toed prophet," Cappy ejaculated,
00:11:57.980 | "you say that like a man who doesn't expect to be refused."
00:12:01.580 | "Quite right, sir. I do not anticipate a refusal."
00:12:04.780 | "Why?"
00:12:06.380 | Mr. William E. Peck's engaging but somewhat plain features
00:12:10.280 | rippled into the most compelling smile Cappy Rick's had ever seen.
00:12:14.880 | "I am a salesman, Mr. Rick's," he replied.
00:12:18.080 | "I know that statement to be true because I have demonstrated over a period of five years
00:12:22.480 | that I can sell my share of anything that has a hawkable value.
00:12:26.180 | I have always found, however, that before proceeding to sell goods,
00:12:29.480 | I had to sell the manufacturer of those goods something.
00:12:32.680 | To wit, myself. I am about to sell myself to you."
00:12:37.580 | "Son," said Cappy smilingly, "you win. You've sold me already.
00:12:42.980 | When did they sell you a membership in the military forces of the United States of America?"
00:12:47.280 | "On the morning of April 7th, 1917, sir."
00:12:50.780 | "That clinches our sale. I soldiered with the Knights of Columbus at Camp Kearney myself,
00:12:55.480 | but when they refused to let me go abroad with my division, my heart was broken,
00:12:58.880 | so I went over the hill."
00:13:00.980 | That little touch of the language of the line appeared to warm Mr. Peck's heart considerably,
00:13:04.980 | establishing at once a free masonry between them.
00:13:07.780 | "I was with the Portland Lumber Company, selling lumber in the Middle West before the war," he explained.
00:13:13.380 | "Uncle Sam gave me my sheepskin at Letterman General Hospital last week,
00:13:17.880 | with half disability on my $10,000 worth of government insurance.
00:13:21.680 | Whittling my wing was a mere trifle, but my broken leg was a long time mending,
00:13:26.380 | and now it's shorter than it really ought to be.
00:13:28.980 | And I developed pneumonia with influenza, and they found some TB indications after that.
00:13:33.880 | I've been at the Government Tuberculosis Hospital at Fort Bayard, New Mexico, for a year.
00:13:38.880 | However, what's left of me is certified to be sound.
00:13:41.080 | I've got five inches chest expansion, and I feel fine."
00:13:44.380 | "Not at all blue or discouraged?" Cappy hazarded.
00:13:47.780 | "Oh, I got off easy, Mr. Ricks. I have my head left and my right arm.
00:13:52.080 | I can think, and I can write, and even if one of my wheels is flat,
00:13:55.580 | I can hike longer and faster after an order than most. Got a job for me, Mr. Ricks?"
00:14:00.080 | "No, I haven't, Mr. Peck. I'm out of it, you know. Retired ten years ago.
00:14:04.680 | This office is merely a headquarters for social frivolity,
00:14:08.080 | a place to get my mail and mill over the gossip of the street.
00:14:11.280 | Our Mr. Skinner is the chap you should see."
00:14:14.780 | "I have seen Mr. Skinner, sir," the airstwhile warrior replied.
00:14:18.980 | "But he wasn't very sympathetic.
00:14:20.880 | I think he jumped to the conclusion that I was attempting to trade him my empty sleeve.
00:14:25.180 | He informed me that there wasn't sufficient business to keep his present staff of salesmen busy,
00:14:29.680 | so then I told him I'd take anything, from stenographer up.
00:14:32.980 | I'm the champion one-handed typist of the United States Army.
00:14:35.680 | I can tally lumber and billet. I can keep books and answer the telephone."
00:14:39.780 | "No encouragement, eh?"
00:14:41.380 | "No, sir."
00:14:42.880 | "Well, now, son," Cappy informed his cheerful visitor confidentially,
00:14:47.580 | "you take my tip and you see my son-in-law, Captain Peasley.
00:14:51.680 | He's high, low, and jack-in-the-game in the shipping end of our business.
00:14:55.780 | I have also interviewed Captain Peasley. He was very kind.
00:15:00.080 | He said he felt that he owed me a job, but business is so bad he couldn't make a place for me.
00:15:04.780 | He told me he is now carrying a dozen ex-servicemen merely because he hasn't the heart to let them go.
00:15:09.980 | I believe him."
00:15:11.780 | "Well, my dear boy, my dear young friend, why do you come to me?"
00:15:15.780 | "Because," Mr. Peck replied smilingly,
00:15:18.980 | "I want you to go over their heads and give me a job.
00:15:21.580 | I don't care a hoot what it is, provided I can do it.
00:15:24.480 | If I can do it, I'll do it better than it was ever done before,
00:15:27.180 | and if I can't do that, I'll quit to save you the embarrassment of firing me.
00:15:30.780 | I'm not an object of charity, but I'm scarcely the man I used to be,
00:15:34.580 | and I'm four years behind the procession and have to catch up.
00:15:37.280 | I have the best of references."
00:15:39.180 | "I see you have," Cappy cut in blandly and pressed the push button on his desk.
00:15:45.080 | Mr. Skinner entered.
00:15:46.680 | He glanced disapprovingly at William E. Peck and then turned inquiring eyes toward Cappy Ricks.
00:15:53.680 | "Skinner, dear boy," Cappy purred amiably,
00:15:57.780 | "I've been thinking over the proposition to send Andrews out to the Shanghai office,
00:16:01.680 | and I've come to this conclusion.
00:16:03.480 | We'll have to take a chance.
00:16:05.380 | At the present time, that office is in charge of a stenographer,
00:16:08.680 | and we've got to get a manager on the job without further loss of time,
00:16:11.480 | so I'll tell you what we'll do.
00:16:12.980 | We'll send Andrews out on the next boat, but inform him that his position is temporary.
00:16:17.780 | Then, if he doesn't make good out there, we can take him back into this office,
00:16:20.980 | where he is a most valuable man.
00:16:23.080 | Meanwhile, you'd oblige me greatly, Skinner, my dear boy,
00:16:28.980 | if you would consent to take this young man into your office
00:16:31.480 | and give him a good workout to see the stuff he's made of.
00:16:34.080 | As a favor to me, Skinner, my dear boy, as a favor to me."
00:16:39.280 | Mr. Skinner, in the language of the sporting world, was down for the count and knew it.
00:16:46.680 | Young Mr. Peck knew it, too, and smiled graciously upon the general manager.
00:16:50.880 | For young Mr. Peck had been in the army, where one of the first great lessons to be assimilated is this,
00:16:56.180 | that the commanding general's request is always tantamount to an order.
00:17:02.180 | "Very well, sir," Mr. Skinner replied coldly.
00:17:05.780 | "Have you arranged the compensation to be given, Mr. Peck?"
00:17:09.480 | Cappy threw up a deprecating hand.
00:17:12.080 | "That detail's entirely up to you, Skinner,
00:17:14.680 | far be it from me to interfere in the internal administration of your department.
00:17:18.780 | Naturally, you will pay Mr. Peck what he is worth and not a cent more."
00:17:22.680 | He turned to the triumphant Peck.
00:17:25.080 | "Now you listen to me, young feller.
00:17:27.080 | If you think you're slipping gracefully into a good thing,
00:17:30.080 | disabuse your mind of that impression right now.
00:17:32.880 | You'll step right up to the plate, my son, and you'll hit the ball fairly on the nose,
00:17:36.880 | and you'll do it early and often.
00:17:38.880 | The first time you tip a foul, you'll be warned.
00:17:42.080 | The second time you do it, you'll get a month's layoff to think it over,
00:17:45.080 | and the third time you'll be out for keeps.
00:17:46.980 | Do I make myself clear?"
00:17:48.780 | "You do, sir," Mr. Peck declared happily.
00:17:51.780 | "All I ask is fighting room, and I'll hack my way into Mr. Skinner's heart.
00:17:55.780 | Thank you, Mr. Skinner, for consenting to take me on.
00:17:58.480 | I appreciate your action very, very much,
00:18:00.880 | and shall endeavor to be worthy of your confidence."
00:18:04.080 | "Young scoundrel.
00:18:05.780 | Infernal young scoundrel," Cappy murmured to himself.
00:18:10.180 | "He has a sense of humor, thank God.
00:18:12.580 | Ah, poor old narrow-gauge Skinner.
00:18:15.080 | If that feller ever gets a new or unconventional thought on his stodgy head,
00:18:18.680 | it'll kill him overnight.
00:18:20.180 | He's hopping mad right now because he can't say a word in his own defense.
00:18:24.080 | But if he doesn't make hell look like a summer holiday for Mr. Bill Peck,
00:18:27.180 | I'm due to be mercifully chloroformed.
00:18:29.380 | Good Lord, how empty life would be if I couldn't butt in
00:18:31.880 | and raise a little riot every once and so often."
00:18:34.780 | Young Mr. Peck had risen and was standing at attention.
00:18:37.980 | "When do I report for duty, sir?" he queried of Mr. Skinner.
00:18:41.680 | "Whenever you're ready," Skinner retorted with a wintry smile.
00:18:45.980 | Mr. Peck glanced at a cheap wristwatch.
00:18:48.880 | "It's twelve o'clock now," he soliloquized aloud.
00:18:52.480 | "I'll pop out, wrap myself around some rations, and report on the job at 1 p.m.
00:18:56.380 | I might just as well knock out a half-day's pay."
00:18:58.980 | He glanced at Cappy Ricks and quoted,
00:19:01.280 | "Count that day lost whose low descending sun
00:19:04.480 | finds prices shot to glory and business done for fun."
00:19:09.680 | Unable to maintain his composure in the face of such levity during office hours,
00:19:15.280 | Mr. Skinner withdrew, still wrapped in his sub-Antarctic dignity.
00:19:21.380 | As the door closed behind him,
00:19:23.280 | Mr. Peck's eyebrows went up in a manner indicative of apprehension.
00:19:27.980 | "I'm off to a bad start, Mr. Ricks," he opined.
00:19:31.280 | "You only asked for a start," Cappy piped back at him.
00:19:34.880 | "I didn't guarantee you a good start, and I wouldn't because I can't.
00:19:38.880 | I can only drive Skinner and Matt Peasley so far and no farther.
00:19:42.580 | There's always a point at which I quit—er, uh, William.
00:19:47.780 | More familiarly known as Bill Peck, sir."
00:19:50.280 | "Very well, Bill," Cappy slid out to the edge of his chair
00:19:53.680 | and peered at Bill Peck balefully over the top of his spectacles.
00:19:58.480 | "I'll have my eye on you, young feller," he shrilled.
00:20:01.780 | "I freely acknowledge our indebtedness to you,
00:20:04.080 | but the day you get the notion in your head that this office is an old soldier's home—"
00:20:08.480 | He paused thoughtfully.
00:20:10.580 | "I wonder what Skinner will pay you," he mused.
00:20:14.180 | "Oh, well," he continued.
00:20:16.080 | "Whatever it is, take it and say nothing, and when the moment is propitious,
00:20:19.280 | and provided you've earned it, I'll intercede with the dang old relic and get you a raise."
00:20:23.880 | "Thank you very much, sir. You are most kind. Good day, sir."
00:20:27.480 | And Bill Peck picked up his hat and limped out of the presence.
00:20:34.080 | Scarcely had the door closed behind him,
00:20:36.180 | then Mr. Skinner re-entered Cappy Rick's lair.
00:20:39.080 | He opened his mouth to speak, but Cappy silenced him with an imperious finger.
00:20:44.180 | "Not a peep out of you, Skinner, my dear boy," he chirped amiably.
00:20:47.780 | "I know exactly what you're going to say, and I admit you're right to say it, but as—"
00:20:53.880 | "Now, Skinner, listen to reason.
00:20:55.480 | How the devil could you have the heart to reject that crippled ex-soldier?"
00:20:58.780 | There he stood, on one sound leg, with his sleeve tucked into his coat pocket,
00:21:02.480 | and on his homely face the grin of an unwhipped, unbeatable man.
00:21:06.680 | "But you, bless your cold, unfeeling soul, Skinner,
00:21:10.380 | looked him in the eye and turned him down like a drunkard turns down near beer.
00:21:15.480 | Skinner, how could you do it?"
00:21:18.580 | Undaunted by Cappy's admonitory finger, Mr. Skinner struck a distinctly defiant attitude.
00:21:26.380 | "There is no sentiment in business," he replied angrily.
00:21:30.380 | "A week ago last Thursday, the local posts of the American Legion
00:21:33.580 | commenced their organized drive for jobs for their crippled and unemployed comrades.
00:21:38.680 | And within three days, you've sought off 209 such jobs
00:21:42.280 | on the various corporations that you control.
00:21:44.780 | The gang you shipped up to the mill in Washington has already applied for a charter
00:21:48.280 | for a new post to be known as Cappy Rick's Post No. 534,
00:21:53.080 | and you had experienced men discharged to make room for these ex-soldiers."
00:21:57.380 | "You bet I did!" Cappy yelled triumphantly.
00:22:00.780 | "It's always old home week in every logging camp and sawmill in the Northwest
00:22:04.580 | for IWWs and revolutionary communists.
00:22:07.580 | I'm sick of their unauthorized strikes and sabotage.
00:22:10.980 | And by the holy pink-toed prophet, Cappy Rick's Post No. 534,
00:22:15.180 | American Legion, is the only sort of backfire I can think of to put the wobblies on the run."
00:22:20.380 | "Every office and ship and retail yard could be run by a first sergeant," Skinner complained.
00:22:26.380 | "I'm thinking of having reveille and retreat and bugle calls and Saturday morning inspections.
00:22:32.280 | I tell you, sir, the Rick's interests have absorbed all the old soldiers possible.
00:22:36.780 | And at the present moment, those interests are overflowing with glory.
00:22:40.480 | What we want are workers, not talkers.
00:22:43.380 | These ex-soldiers spend too much time fighting their battles over again."
00:22:47.880 | "Well, Comrade Peck is the last one I'll ask you to absorb, Skinner," Cappy promised contritely.
00:22:53.380 | "Ever read Kipling's Barrack Room Ballad, Skinner?"
00:22:56.780 | "I have no time to read," Mr. Skinner protested.
00:23:00.180 | "Go uptown this minute and buy a copy and read one ballad entitled 'Tommy,'" Cappy barked.
00:23:05.980 | "For the good of your immortal soul," he added.
00:23:09.180 | "Well, Comrade Peck doesn't make a hit with me, Mr. Rick's.
00:23:12.580 | He applied to me for a job and I gave him his answer.
00:23:15.380 | Then he went to Captain Matt and was refused.
00:23:17.580 | So, just to demonstrate his bad taste,
00:23:20.580 | he went over our heads and induced you to pitchfork him into a job.
00:23:24.380 | He'll curse the day he was inspired to do that."
00:23:27.580 | "Skinner! Skinner! Look me in the eye.
00:23:30.380 | Do you know why I asked you to take on Bill Peck?"
00:23:33.380 | "I do. Because you're too tender-hearted for your own good."
00:23:37.780 | "You unimaginative dunderhead! You gibbering jackdaw!
00:23:41.580 | How could I reject a boy who simply would not be rejected?
00:23:45.180 | Well, better write Peach that Bill Peck was one of the doggone finest soldiers you ever saw.
00:23:50.180 | He carries his objective.
00:23:51.780 | He sized you up just like that, Skinner.
00:23:54.180 | He declined to permit you to block him.
00:23:56.380 | Skinner, that Peck person, has been opposed by experts.
00:23:58.980 | Yes, sir, experts.
00:24:00.980 | What kind of a job are you going to give him, Skinner, my dear boy?"
00:24:04.380 | "Andrew's job, of course."
00:24:06.580 | "Oh, yes, I forgot.
00:24:08.380 | Skinner, dear boy, haven't we got about a half a million feet of skunk spruce to saw off on somebody?"
00:24:15.980 | Mr. Skinner nodded, and Cappy continued with all the naive eagerness of
00:24:21.580 | one who has just made a marvelous discovery, which he is confident will revolutionize science.
00:24:27.580 | "Give him that stinking stuff to peddle, Skinner.
00:24:30.580 | And if you can dig up a couple of dozen carloads of red fir or bull pine in transit,
00:24:35.180 | or some short or odd-length stalk, or some larch ceiling or flooring,
00:24:39.180 | or some hemlock random stalk, in fact, anything the trade doesn't want as a gift,
00:24:43.780 | you get me, don't you, Skinner?"
00:24:46.580 | Mr. Skinner smiled his swordfish smile.
00:24:50.380 | "And if he fails to make good, au revoir, eh?"
00:24:54.180 | "Yes, I suppose so, although I hate to think about it.
00:24:58.580 | On the other hand, if he makes good, he's to have Andrew's salary.
00:25:02.580 | We must be fair, Skinner.
00:25:04.380 | Whatever our faults, we must always be fair."
00:25:08.580 | He rose and patted the general manager's lean shoulder.
00:25:12.980 | "There, there, Skinner, my boy.
00:25:14.980 | Forgive me if I've been a trifle...
00:25:19.180 | precipitate, and...
00:25:21.980 | rumpf.
00:25:22.780 | Skinner, if you put a prohibitive price on that skunk fir by the holy pink-toed prophet,
00:25:27.180 | I'll fire you.
00:25:28.180 | Be fair, boy, be fair. No dirty work, Skinner.
00:25:30.380 | Remember, Comrade Peck has half of his left forearm buried in France."
00:25:36.780 | Selman Chevrolet is Orange County's number one volume Silverado dealer,
00:25:40.780 | and they have a huge selection of rugged and dependable Silverados.
00:25:44.180 | Whether you're looking for a workhorse for the job site,
00:25:46.380 | or a reliable truck for your next adventure,
00:25:48.580 | our Silverados are ready to take on anything.
00:25:50.980 | And now is the best time to buy.
00:25:52.580 | With Selman's discount and factory rebates,
00:25:54.780 | you can save thousands on every Silverado in stock.
00:25:57.580 | Stop by Selman Chevrolet.
00:25:59.380 | They're just off the 55 freeway in Orange,
00:26:01.580 | on the corner of Tustin and Chapman.
00:26:03.380 | Together, let's drive at SelmanChevy.com.
00:26:07.380 | Chapter 3.
00:26:09.380 | At 12.30, as Cappy was hurrying up California Street to luncheon at the commercial club,
00:26:14.580 | he met Bill Peck limping down the sidewalk.
00:26:17.380 | The ex-soldier stopped him and handed him a card.
00:26:20.380 | "What do you think of that, sir?" he queried. "Isn't it a neat business card?"
00:26:24.180 | Cappy read, "Rick's Lumber and Logging Company.
00:26:28.380 | Lumber and its products.
00:26:30.380 | 248 California Street, San Francisco.
00:26:33.780 | Represented by William E. Peck.
00:26:36.980 | If you can drive nails in it, we have it."
00:26:40.580 | Cappy Rick's ran a speculative thumb over Comrade Peck's business card.
00:26:45.980 | It was engraved.
00:26:47.980 | And copper plates or steel dyes are not made in half an hour.
00:26:52.580 | "By the twelve ragged apostles!"
00:26:55.180 | This was Cappy's most terrible oath.
00:26:58.180 | And he never employed it unless rocked to his very foundations.
00:27:02.380 | "Bill is one bandit to another. Come clean.
00:27:04.780 | When did you first make up your mind to go to work for us?"
00:27:07.780 | "A week ago," Comrade Peck replied blandly.
00:27:11.380 | "And what was your grade when Kaiser Bill went AWOL?"
00:27:14.780 | "I was a buck."
00:27:16.180 | "I don't believe you.
00:27:17.780 | Didn't anybody ever offer you something better?"
00:27:20.380 | "Frequently.
00:27:21.580 | However, if I had accepted, I would have had to resign the nicest job I ever had.
00:27:25.780 | There wasn't much money in it, but it was filled with excitement and interesting experiments.
00:27:30.380 | I used to disguise myself as a Christmas tree or a boxcar and pick off German sharpshooters.
00:27:36.780 | I was known as Peck's bad boy.
00:27:39.580 | I was often tempted to quit,
00:27:40.980 | but whenever I'd reflect on the number of American lives I was saving daily,
00:27:44.980 | a commission was just a scrap of paper to me."
00:27:48.180 | "If you had ever started in any other branch of the service,
00:27:50.580 | you'd have run John J. Pershing down to Lance Corporal.
00:27:53.380 | Bill, listen, have you ever had any experience selling skunk spruce?"
00:27:58.180 | Comrade Peck was plainly puzzled.
00:28:00.980 | He shook his head.
00:28:02.180 | "What sort of stock is it?" he asked.
00:28:04.980 | "Humboldt County, California spruce,
00:28:07.180 | and it's coarse and stringy and wet and heavy
00:28:11.380 | and smells just like a skunk directly after using.
00:28:14.180 | I'm afraid Skinner's going to start you at the bottom and skunk spruce is it."
00:28:18.780 | "Can you drive nails in it, Mr. Ricks?"
00:28:20.980 | "Oh, yes."
00:28:22.580 | "Does anybody ever buy skunk spruce, sir?"
00:28:25.580 | "Oh, occasionally one of our bright young men digs up a halfwit
00:28:29.180 | who's willing to try anything once.
00:28:31.180 | Otherwise, of course, we would not continue to manufacture it.
00:28:34.380 | Fortunately, Bill, we have very little of it,
00:28:36.780 | but whenever our woods boss runs across a good tree,
00:28:39.580 | he hasn't the heart to leave it standing.
00:28:41.580 | And as a result, we always have enough skunk spruce on hand
00:28:44.380 | to keep our salesman humble."
00:28:46.780 | "I can sell anything at a price,"
00:28:49.180 | Comrade Peck replied unconcernedly
00:28:52.380 | and continued on his way back to the office.
00:28:56.780 | Chapter Four
00:28:58.780 | For two months, Cappy Ricks saw nothing of Bill Peck.
00:29:02.580 | That enterprising veteran had been sent out into the Utah, Arizona,
00:29:07.580 | New Mexico, and Texas territory the moment he had familiarized himself
00:29:11.980 | with the numerous details regarding freight rates,
00:29:14.980 | weights, and the mills he represented,
00:29:17.180 | all things which a salesman should be familiar with
00:29:19.580 | before he starts out on the road.
00:29:21.780 | From Salt Lake City, he wired an order for two carloads of larch rustic,
00:29:26.380 | and in Ogden, he managed to inveigle a retail yard
00:29:29.580 | with which Mr. Skinner had been trying to do business for years
00:29:32.980 | into sampling a carload of skunk spruce boards,
00:29:35.780 | random lengths and grades,
00:29:37.580 | at a dollar above the price given him by Skinner.
00:29:40.580 | In Arizona, he worked up some new business in mining timbers,
00:29:44.380 | but it was not until he got into the heart of Texas
00:29:46.780 | that Comrade Peck really commenced to demonstrate his selling ability.
00:29:51.380 | Standard oil derricks were his specialty,
00:29:53.980 | and he shot the orders in so fast
00:29:55.780 | that Mr. Skinner was forced to wire him for mercy
00:29:58.580 | and instruct him to devote his talent
00:30:00.380 | to the disposal of cedar shingles and siding,
00:30:03.380 | Douglas fir, and redwood.
00:30:05.780 | Eventually, he completed his circle and worked his way home via Los Angeles,
00:30:09.780 | pausing, however, in the San Joaquin Valley
00:30:11.980 | to sell two more carloads of skunk spruce.
00:30:15.580 | When this order was wired in,
00:30:17.380 | Mr. Skinner came to Cappy Ricks with a telegram.
00:30:20.580 | "Well, I must admit Comrade Peck can sell lumber,"
00:30:24.580 | he announced grudgingly.
00:30:26.180 | "He has secured five new accounts,
00:30:27.980 | and here is an order for two more carloads of skunk spruce.
00:30:31.780 | I'll have to raise his salary about the first of the year."
00:30:35.580 | My dear Skinner, why the devil wait until the first of the year?
00:30:38.980 | Your pernicious habit of deferring the inevitable parting with money
00:30:42.580 | has cost us the services of more than one good man.
00:30:45.980 | You know you have to raise Comrade Peck's salary sooner or later,
00:30:49.780 | so why not do it now and smile like a dentifrice advertisement
00:30:53.580 | while you're doing it?
00:30:54.980 | Comrade Peck will feel a whole lot better as a result,
00:30:57.780 | and who knows, he may conclude you're a human being after all
00:31:01.380 | and learn to love you.
00:31:03.180 | Very well, sir.
00:31:04.580 | I'll give him the same salary Andrews was getting
00:31:06.780 | before Peck took over his territory.
00:31:09.380 | Skinner, you make it impossible for me to refrain
00:31:12.380 | from showing you who's boss around here.
00:31:14.380 | He's better than Andrews, isn't he?
00:31:16.580 | I think he is, sir.
00:31:18.380 | Well then, for the love of a square deal,
00:31:20.380 | pay him more and pay it to him from the first day he went to work.
00:31:23.580 | Get out, you make me nervous.
00:31:25.380 | By the way, how is Andrews getting along in his Shanghai job?
00:31:29.380 | He's helping the cable company pay its income tax.
00:31:32.380 | Cable's about three times a week on matters he should decide for himself.
00:31:35.780 | Matt Peasley is disgusted with him.
00:31:38.580 | Ah, well, I'm not disappointed.
00:31:41.580 | And I suppose Matt will be in here before long
00:31:43.580 | to remind me that I was the bright boy who picked Andrews for the job.
00:31:46.980 | Well, I did, but I call upon you to remember, Skinner,
00:31:50.580 | when I'm assailed, that Andrews' appointment was temporary.
00:31:54.380 | Yes, sir, it was.
00:31:56.380 | Well, I suppose I'll have to cast about for his successor
00:31:59.780 | and beat Matt out of his cheap, I-told-you-so triumph.
00:32:03.980 | I think Comrade Peck has some of the earmarks
00:32:06.580 | of a good manager for our Shanghai office,
00:32:08.980 | but I'll have to test him a little further.
00:32:11.980 | He looked up humorously at Mr. Skinner.
00:32:14.980 | "Skinner, my dear boy," he continued,
00:32:17.580 | "I'm going to have him deliver a blue vase."
00:32:21.180 | Mr. Skinner's cold features actually glowed.
00:32:25.780 | "Well, tip the chief of police and the proprietor of the store off this time
00:32:29.380 | and save yourself some money," he warned Cappy.
00:32:32.580 | He walked to the window and looked down into California Street.
00:32:35.780 | He continued to smile.
00:32:38.180 | "Yes," Cappy continued dreamily,
00:32:41.580 | "I think I shall give him the 33rd degree.
00:32:44.980 | You'll agree with me, Skinner, that if he delivers the blue vase,
00:32:47.380 | he'll be worth $10,000 a year as our Oriental manager?"
00:32:50.980 | "I'll say he will," Mr. Skinner replied slangily.
00:32:55.180 | "Very well, then. Arrange matters, Skinner,
00:32:57.780 | so that he will be available for me at one o'clock a week from Sunday.
00:33:01.580 | I'll attend to the other details."
00:33:04.780 | Mr. Skinner nodded.
00:33:06.580 | He was still chuckling when he departed for his own office.
00:33:11.180 | Chapter 5
00:33:13.180 | A week from the succeeding Saturday, Mr. Skinner did not come down to the office.
00:33:18.180 | But a telephone message from his home informed the chief clerk
00:33:22.380 | that Mr. Skinner was at home and somewhat indisposed.
00:33:26.180 | The chief clerk was to advise Mr. Peck that he, Mr. Skinner,
00:33:30.180 | had contemplated having a conference with the latter that day,
00:33:33.580 | but that his indisposition would prevent this.
00:33:37.180 | Mr. Skinner hoped to be feeling much better tomorrow,
00:33:40.180 | and since he was very desirous of a conference with Mr. Peck
00:33:43.180 | before the latter should depart on his next selling pilgrimage on Monday,
00:33:47.580 | would Mr. Peck be good enough to call at Mr. Skinner's house at one o'clock Sunday afternoon?
00:33:52.980 | Mr. Peck sent back word that he would be there at the appointed time
00:33:56.980 | and was rewarded with Mr. Skinner's thanks via the chief clerk.
00:34:01.580 | Promptly at one o'clock the following day, Bill Peck reported at the general manager's house.
00:34:06.980 | He found Mr. Skinner in bed, reading the paper and looking surprisingly well.
00:34:11.580 | He trusted Mr. Skinner felt better than he looked.
00:34:14.380 | Mr. Skinner did, and at once entered into a discussion of the new customers,
00:34:18.780 | other prospects he particularly desired Mr. Peck to approach,
00:34:22.580 | new business to be investigated, and further details without end.
00:34:26.580 | And in the midst of this conference, Cappy Riggs telephoned.
00:34:29.980 | A portable telephone stood on a commode beside Mr. Skinner's bed,
00:34:33.780 | so the latter answered immediately.
00:34:36.180 | Comrade Peck watched Skinner listen attentively for fully two minutes,
00:34:40.380 | then heard him say, "Mr. Riggs, I'm terribly sorry.
00:34:43.780 | I'd love to do this errand for you, but really I'm under the weather.
00:34:46.980 | In fact, I'm in bed as I speak to you now.
00:34:49.180 | But Mr. Peck is here with me, and I'm sure he'll be very happy to attend to the matter for you."
00:34:54.180 | "By all means," Bill Peck hastened to assure the general manager,
00:34:58.380 | "who does Mr. Riggs want killed, and where will he have the body delivered?"
00:35:01.580 | "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" Mr. Skinner had a singularly annoying, mirthless laugh,
00:35:08.180 | as if he begrudged himself such an unheard-of indulgence.
00:35:12.580 | "Mr. Peck says," he informed Cappy,
00:35:15.180 | "that he'll be delighted to attend to the matter for you.
00:35:17.780 | He wants to know whom you want killed, and where you wish the body delivered.
00:35:21.780 | Ha, ha, ha, ha! Peck, Mr. Riggs will speak to you."
00:35:26.580 | Bill Peck took the telephone.
00:35:28.380 | "Good afternoon, Mr. Riggs." "Hello, old soldier. What are you doing this afternoon?"
00:35:33.180 | "Nothing, after I conclude my conference with Mr. Skinner.
00:35:36.580 | By the way, he has just given me a most handsome boost in salary, for which I am most appreciative.
00:35:41.580 | I feel, however, despite Mr. Skinner's graciousness,
00:35:44.780 | that you have put in a kind word for me with him, and I want to thank you—"
00:35:48.780 | "Tut, tut. Not a peep out of you, sir. Not a peep.
00:35:51.380 | You get nothing for nothing from Skinner or me.
00:35:54.180 | However, in view of the fact that you are feeling kindly toward me this afternoon,
00:35:58.980 | I wish you'd do a little errand for me.
00:36:01.580 | I can't send a boy, and I hate to make a messenger out of you.
00:36:04.780 | Ahem. That is, ahem. I have no false pride, Mr. Riggs."
00:36:11.380 | "Thank you, Bill. Glad you feel that way about it.
00:36:14.380 | Bill, as I was prowling around town this forenoon, after church,
00:36:17.780 | and down in a store on Sutter Street, between Stockton and Powell Street,
00:36:21.580 | on the right-hand side, as you face Market Street, I saw a blue vase in a window.
00:36:27.380 | I have a weakness for vases, Bill. I'm sharp on them, too.
00:36:30.980 | Now, this vase I saw isn't very expensive, as vases go.
00:36:34.580 | In fact, I wouldn't buy it for my collection.
00:36:37.180 | But one of the finest and sweetest ladies of my acquaintance
00:36:40.180 | has the mate to that blue vase I saw in the window.
00:36:43.380 | And I know she'd be prouder than Punch if she had two of them,
00:36:46.780 | one for each side of her drawing-room mantle. Understand?"
00:36:50.380 | "Now, I'm leaving from the Southern Pacific Depot at 8 o'clock tonight,
00:36:54.580 | bound for Santa Barbara to attend her wedding anniversary tomorrow night.
00:36:58.380 | I forget what anniversary it is, Bill, but I have been informed by my daughter
00:37:01.780 | that I'll be very much de-trope if I send her any present
00:37:05.180 | other than something in porcelain, or china, or cloisonné.
00:37:08.980 | Now, Bill, this crazy little blue vase just fills the order. Understand?"
00:37:13.180 | "Yes, sir. You feel that it would be most graceful on your part
00:37:16.580 | if you could bring this little blue vase down to Santa Barbara with you tonight.
00:37:19.580 | You have to have it tonight, because if you wait until the store opens on Monday,
00:37:22.980 | the vase will reach your hostess 24 hours after her anniversary party."
00:37:27.180 | "Exactly, Bill. Now, I've simply got to have that vase.
00:37:30.780 | If I'd discovered it yesterday, I wouldn't be asking you to get it for me today, Bill."
00:37:34.580 | "Please do not make any explanations or apologies, Mr. Ricks.
00:37:37.980 | You have described the vase... No, you haven't.
00:37:40.780 | What sort of blue is it? How tall is it?
00:37:43.180 | And what is approximately its greatest diameter?
00:37:45.980 | Does it set on a base, or does it not?
00:37:48.180 | Is it a solid blue, or is it figured?"
00:37:51.180 | "It's a cloisonné vase, Bill.
00:37:52.980 | Sort of old Dutch blue, or Delft, with some Oriental funny business on it.
00:37:57.780 | I couldn't describe it exactly, but it has some birds and flowers on it.
00:38:01.180 | It's about a foot tall and four inches in diameter, and sets on a teakwood base."
00:38:05.580 | "Very well, sir. You shall have it.
00:38:07.780 | And you'll deliver it to me in my stateroom A, car 7,
00:38:11.180 | aboard the train at 3rd and Townsend Streets at 7.55 tonight?"
00:38:15.380 | "Yes, sir."
00:38:16.780 | "Thank you, Bill. The expense will be trifling.
00:38:19.580 | Collect it from the cashier in the morning and tell him to charge it to my account."
00:38:23.580 | And Cappy hung up.
00:38:25.580 | At once, Mr. Skinner took up the thread of the interrupted conference,
00:38:28.780 | and it was not until 3 o'clock that Bill Peck left his house and proceeded downtown
00:38:33.780 | to locate Cappy Ricks' blue vase.
00:38:37.180 | He proceeded to the block in Sutter Street, between Stockton and Powell Streets,
00:38:42.180 | and although he walked patiently up one side of the street and down the other,
00:38:45.980 | not a single vase of any description showed in any shop window,
00:38:49.980 | nor could he find a single shop where such a vase as Cappy had described
00:38:53.780 | might, perchance, be displayed for sale.
00:38:57.380 | "I think the old boy has erred in the coordinates of the target,"
00:39:00.580 | Bill Peck concluded, "or else I misunderstood him.
00:39:03.780 | I'll telephone his house and ask him to repeat them."
00:39:07.380 | He did, but nobody was at home except a Swedish maid,
00:39:11.180 | and all she knew was that Mr. Ricks was out and the hour of his return was unknown.
00:39:16.180 | So Mr. Peck went back to Sutter Street and scoured once more every shop window in the block.
00:39:21.780 | Then he scouted two blocks above Powell and two blocks below Stockton.
00:39:27.180 | Still, the blue vase remained invisible.
00:39:30.780 | So he transferred his search to a corresponding area on Bush Street,
00:39:35.780 | and when that failed, he went painstakingly over four blocks of Post Street.
00:39:41.980 | He was still without result when he moved one block further west and one further south,
00:39:47.580 | and discovered the blue vase in a huge plate-glass window of a shop on Geary Street near Grant Avenue.
00:39:54.980 | He surveyed it critically and was convinced that it was the object he sought.
00:40:00.780 | He tried the door, but it was locked, as he had anticipated it would be.
00:40:05.980 | So he kicked the door and raised an infernal racket,
00:40:09.380 | hoping against hope that the noise might bring a watchman from the rear of the building.
00:40:13.580 | In vain.
00:40:14.980 | He backed out to the edge of the sidewalk and read the sign over the door.
00:40:18.580 | "B. Cohen's Art Shop."
00:40:21.380 | This was a start.
00:40:22.980 | So Mr. Peck limped over to the Palace Hotel and procured a telephone directory.
00:40:28.180 | By actual count, there were 19 "B. Cohens" scattered throughout the city.
00:40:33.980 | So before commencing to call the 19, Bill Peck borrowed the city directory from the hotel clerk
00:40:39.580 | and scanned it for the particular "B. Cohen" who owned the art shop.
00:40:44.380 | His search availed him nothing.
00:40:46.780 | "B. Cohen" was listed as an art dealer at the address where the blue vase reposed in the show window.
00:40:53.380 | That was all.
00:40:54.980 | "I suppose he's a commuter," Mr. Peck concluded,
00:40:58.180 | and at once proceeded to procure directories of the adjacent cities of Berkeley, Oakland, and Alameda.
00:41:04.580 | They were not available, so in despair he changed a dollar into five-cent pieces,
00:41:09.180 | sought a telephone booth, and commenced calling up all the "B. Cohens" in San Francisco.
00:41:14.580 | Of the 19, four did not answer, three were temporarily disconnected,
00:41:19.780 | six replied in Yiddish, five were not the "B. Cohen" he sought,
00:41:24.380 | and one swore he was Irish and that his name was spelled "Cohan"
00:41:29.580 | and pronounced with an accent on both syllables.
00:41:33.580 | The "B. Cohens" resident in Berkeley, Oakland, Alameda, San Rafael, Sausalito,
00:41:40.180 | Mill Valley, San Mateo, Redwood City, and Palo Alto were next telephoned to.
00:41:44.780 | And when this long and expensive task was done,
00:41:47.780 | ex-private Bill Peck emerged from the telephone booth,
00:41:51.380 | wringing wet with perspiration and as irritable as a clucking hen.
00:41:56.980 | Once outside the hotel, he raised his haggard face to heaven
00:42:00.980 | and dumbly queried of the Almighty what he meant by saving him from quick death on the field of honor,
00:42:06.580 | only to condemn him to be talked to death by "B. Cohens" in civil life.
00:42:11.580 | It was now six o'clock.
00:42:13.780 | Suddenly, Peck had an inspiration.
00:42:16.780 | Was the name spelled "Cohen", "Cohan", "Cone", "Cone", or "Cohen"?
00:42:24.380 | "If I have to take a Jewish census again tonight, I'll die," he told himself desperately,
00:42:29.580 | and went back to the art shop.
00:42:31.980 | The sign read, "B. Cohens Art Shop."
00:42:36.980 | "I wish I knew a bootlegger's joint," poor Peck complained.
00:42:40.980 | "I'm pretty far gone, and a little wood alcohol couldn't hurt me much now.
00:42:44.980 | Why, I could have sworn that name was spelled with an E.
00:42:47.980 | It seems to me I noted that particularly."
00:42:51.180 | He went back to the hotel telephone booth and commenced calling up all the B. Cohens in town.
00:42:57.380 | There were eight of them. Six of them were out.
00:43:00.180 | One was maudlin with liquor, and the other was very deaf and shouted unintelligibly.
00:43:05.980 | "Peace hath its barbarities no less than war," Mr. Peck sighed.
00:43:10.980 | He changed a twenty-dollar bill into nickels, dimes, and quarters,
00:43:14.580 | returned to the hot, ill-smelling telephone booth,
00:43:17.780 | and proceeded to lay down a barrage of telephone calls to the B. Cohens of all towns
00:43:22.980 | of any importance contiguous to San Francisco Bay, and he was lucky.
00:43:27.580 | On the sixth call, he located the particular B. Cohen in San Rafael,
00:43:32.980 | only to be informed by Mr. Cohen's cook that Mr. Cohen was dining at the home of a Mr. Simons in Mill Valley.
00:43:41.180 | There were three Mr. Simons in Mill Valley, and Peck called them all before connecting with the right one.
00:43:47.780 | "Yes, Mr. B. Cohen was there. Who wished to speak to him?"
00:43:52.380 | "Mr. Heck." "Oh, Mr. Lake." A silence.
00:43:56.780 | "Then Mr. Cohen says he doesn't know any Mr. Lake and wants to know the nature of your business.
00:44:01.780 | He is dining and doesn't like to be disturbed unless the matter is of grave importance."
00:44:06.180 | "Tell him Mr. Peck wishes to speak to him on a matter of very great importance," wailed the ex-private.
00:44:12.180 | "Mr. Metz? Mr. Ben Metz?" "No, no, no. Peck. P-E-C-K. D-E-C-K. No, P. C-P. Oh, yes. E-E what? C-K.
00:44:29.980 | Oh, yes. Mr. Eckstein. Call Cohen to the phone or I'll go over there on the next boat and kill you, you damned idiot!"
00:44:36.580 | shrieked Peck. "Tell him his store is on fire."
00:44:40.180 | That message was evidently delivered. For almost instantly, Mr. B. Cohen was puffing and spluttering into the phone.
00:44:47.980 | "Is Dr. Fire Marshall?" he managed to articulate.
00:44:51.380 | "Listen, Mr. Cohen. Your store is not on fire, but I had to say so in order to get you to the telephone.
00:44:57.380 | I am Mr. Peck, a total stranger to you.
00:45:00.380 | You have a blue vase in your shop window on Geary Street in San Francisco.
00:45:04.580 | I want to buy it, and I want to buy it before 7.45 tonight.
00:45:08.680 | I want you to come across the bay and open the store and sell me that vase."
00:45:12.680 | "Such a business. What you think I am, crazy?"
00:45:16.180 | "No, Mr. Cohen, I do not. I'm the only crazy man talking.
00:45:20.080 | I'm crazy for that vase and I've got to have it right away."
00:45:23.580 | "You know what that vase costs?" Mr. B. Cohen's voice dripped syrup.
00:45:30.580 | "No, and I don't give a hoot what it costs. I want what I want when I want it. Do I get it?"
00:45:35.580 | "Well, let me see. What time is it?"
00:45:39.580 | A silence. Well, B. Cohen evidently looked at his watch.
00:45:44.180 | "It is now a quarter of seven, Mr. Eckstein, and the next train from Mill Valley don't leave until eight o'clock.
00:45:51.580 | That will get me to San Francisco at eight-fifty, and I am dining with friends and have just finished my soup."
00:45:59.080 | "To hell with your soup. I want that blue vase."
00:46:02.580 | "Well, I tell you, Mr. Eckstein, if you got to have it,
00:46:07.080 | call up my head salesman, Herman Juist, in the Chilton Apartments, prospect 3249,
00:46:14.580 | and tell him I said he should come down right away quick and sell you that blue vase.
00:46:20.580 | Goodbye, Mr. Eckstein."
00:46:22.580 | And B. Cohen hung up.
00:46:25.580 | Instantly, Peck called prospect 3249 and asked for Herman Juist.
00:46:31.580 | Mr. Juist's mother answered.
00:46:33.580 | She was desolated because Herman was not at home,
00:46:36.580 | but vouchsafed the information that he was dining at the country club.
00:46:40.580 | Which country club? She did not know.
00:46:43.580 | So Peck procured from the hotel clerk a list of the country clubs in and around San Francisco
00:46:48.580 | and started calling them up.
00:46:50.580 | At eight o'clock he was still being informed that Mr. Juist was not a member,
00:46:54.080 | that Mr. Luce wasn't in, that Mr. Coose had been dead three months,
00:46:57.580 | and that Mr. Boose had played but eight holes when he received a telegram calling him back to New York.
00:47:02.580 | At the other clubs, Mr. Juist was unknown.
00:47:06.580 | "Licked," murmured Bill Peck.
00:47:09.580 | "But never let it be said that I didn't go down fighting.
00:47:12.580 | I'm going to heave a brick through that show window, grab the vase, and run with it."
00:47:16.580 | He engaged a taxi cab and instructed the driver to wait for him at the corner of Geary and Stockton streets.
00:47:22.580 | Also, he borrowed from the chauffeur a ball-peen hammer.
00:47:26.580 | When he reached the art shop of B. Cone, however, a policeman was standing in the doorway,
00:47:31.580 | violating the general orders of a policeman on duty by surreptitiously smoking a cigar.
00:47:37.580 | "He'll nab me if I crack that window," the desperate Peck decided,
00:47:41.580 | and continued on down the street, crossed to the other side, and came back.
00:47:46.580 | It was now dark, and over the art shop, B. Cone's name burned in small red, white, and blue electric lights.
00:47:54.580 | And lo, it was spelled B. Cohen.
00:48:00.580 | Ex-private William E. Peck sat down on a fire hydrant and cursed with rage.
00:48:07.580 | His weak leg hurt him too, and for some damnable reason, the stump of his left arm developed the feeling that his missing hand was itchy.
00:48:15.580 | "The world is filled with idiots," he raved furiously.
00:48:19.580 | "I'm tired, and I'm hungry. I skipped luncheon, and I've been too busy to think of dinner."
00:48:25.580 | He walked back to his taxi cab and returned to the hotel, where, hope springing eternal in his breast,
00:48:31.580 | he called Prospect 3249 again, and discovered that the missing Herman Joost had returned to the bosom of his family.
00:48:39.580 | To him, the frantic Peck delivered the message of B. Cone, whereupon the cautious Herman Joost replied
00:48:46.580 | that he would confirm the authenticity of the message by telephoning to Mr. Cone at Mr. Simon's home in Mill Valley.
00:48:52.580 | If Mr. B. Cone, or Cohen, confirmed Mr. Peck's story, he, the said Herman Joost,
00:48:58.580 | would be at the store sometime before 9 o'clock, and if Mr. Keck cared to, he might await him there.
00:49:03.580 | Mr. Keck said he would be delighted to wait for him there.
00:49:07.580 | At 9.15, Herman Joost appeared on the scene.
00:49:11.580 | On his way down the street, he had taken the precaution to pick up a policeman and bring him along with him.
00:49:16.580 | The lights were switched on in the store, and Mr. Joost lovingly abstracted the blue vase from the window.
00:49:23.580 | "What's the cursed thing worth?" Peck demanded. "Two thousand dollars," Mr. Joost replied,
00:49:29.580 | without so much as the quiver of an eyelash. "Cash," he added, apparently as an afterthought.
00:49:36.580 | The exhausted Peck leaned against the sturdy guardian of the law and sighed.
00:49:42.580 | This was the final straw. He had about ten dollars in his possession.
00:49:49.580 | "You refuse absolutely to accept my check?" he quavered.
00:49:56.580 | "I don't know you, Mr. Peck," Herman Joost replied simply. "Where is your telephone?"
00:50:02.580 | Mr. Joost led Peck to the telephone, and the latter called up Mr. Skinner.
00:50:08.580 | "Mr. Skinner," he announced, "this is all that is mortal of Bill Peck speaking.
00:50:14.580 | I've got the store open, and for two thousand dollars, cash, I can buy the blue vase Mr. Ricks has set his heart upon."
00:50:21.580 | "Oh, Peck, dear fellow," Mr. Skinner purred sympathetically, "have you been all this time on that errand?"
00:50:29.580 | "I have, and I'm going to stick on the job until I deliver the goods.
00:50:33.580 | For God's sake, let me have two thousand dollars and bring it down to me at B. Cohen's Art Shop
00:50:38.580 | on Geary Street near Grant Avenue. I'm too utterly exhausted to go up after it."
00:50:44.580 | "My dear Mr. Peck, I haven't two thousand dollars in my house.
00:50:48.580 | That is too great a sum of money to keep on hand."
00:50:51.580 | "Well, then, come downtown, open up the office safe, and get the money for me."
00:50:56.580 | "Time lock on the office safe, Peck. Impossible."
00:50:59.580 | "Well, then, come downtown and identify me at hotels and cafes and restaurants so I can cash my own check."
00:51:06.580 | "Is your check good, Mr. Peck?"
00:51:09.580 | The flood of invective which had been accumulating in Mr. Peck's system all the afternoon now broke its bounds.
00:51:20.580 | He screamed at Mr. Skinner, a blasphemous invitation to betake himself to the lower regions.
00:51:27.580 | "Tomorrow morning," he promised hoarsely, "I'll beat you to death with the stump of my left arm,
00:51:33.580 | you miserable, cold-blooded, lazy, shiftless slacker."
00:51:39.580 | He called up Cappy Rick's residence next and asked for Captain Matt Peasley,
00:51:43.580 | who he knew made his home with his father-in-law.
00:51:47.580 | Matt Peasley came to the telephone and listened sympathetically to Peck's tale of woe.
00:51:52.580 | "Peck, that's the worst outrage I ever heard of," he declared.
00:51:56.580 | "The idea of setting you such a task. You take my advice and forget the blue vase."
00:52:01.580 | "I can't," Peck panted. "Mr. Ricks will feel mighty chagrined if I fail to get the vase to him.
00:52:07.580 | I wouldn't disappoint him for my right arm. He's been a dead game sport with me, Captain Peasley."
00:52:12.580 | "But it's too late to get the vase to him, Peck. He left the city at eight o'clock and it is now almost half past nine."
00:52:18.580 | "I know. But if I can secure legal possession of the vase,
00:52:22.580 | I'll get it to him before he leaves the train at Santa Barbara at six o'clock tomorrow morning."
00:52:26.580 | "How?" "There's a flying school out on the marina, and one of the pilots there is a friend of mine.
00:52:32.580 | He'll fly to Santa Barbara with me and the vase."
00:52:34.580 | "You're crazy." "I know it. Please lend me $2,000."
00:52:39.580 | "What for?" "To pay for the vase."
00:52:42.580 | "Now I know you're crazy or drunk.
00:52:45.580 | Why, if Cappy Ricks ever forgot himself to the extent of paying $200 for a vase,
00:52:50.580 | he'd bleed to death in an hour."
00:52:52.580 | "Won't you let me have $2,000, Captain Peasley?"
00:52:56.580 | "I will not, Peck, old son. Go home and to bed and forget it."
00:53:00.580 | "Please, you can cash your checks. You're known so much better than I, and it's Sunday night."
00:53:06.580 | "And it's a fine way to keep holy the Sabbath day," Matt Peasley retorted and hung up.
00:53:12.580 | "Well," Herman Juist queried, "do we stay here all night?"
00:53:17.580 | Bill Peck bowed his head. "Look here," he demanded suddenly.
00:53:22.580 | "Do you know a good diamond when you see it?"
00:53:24.580 | "I do," Herman Juist replied.
00:53:27.580 | "Will you wait here until I go to my hotel and get one?"
00:53:30.580 | "Sure." Bill Peck limped painfully away.
00:53:34.580 | Forty minutes later, he returned with a platinum ring set with diamonds and sapphires.
00:53:40.580 | "What are they worth?" he demanded.
00:53:43.580 | Herman Juist looked the ring over lovingly and appraised it conservatively at $2,500.
00:53:50.580 | "Take it as security for the payment of my check," Peck pleaded.
00:53:54.580 | "Give me a receipt for it, and after my check has gone through clearing, I'll come back and get the ring."
00:53:59.580 | Fifteen minutes later, with the blue vase packed in excelsior and reposing in a stout cardboard box,
00:54:06.580 | Bill Peck entered a restaurant and ordered dinner.
00:54:09.580 | When he had dined, he engaged a taxi and was driven to the flying field at the marina.
00:54:14.580 | From the night watchman, he ascertained the address of his pilot friend,
00:54:18.580 | and at midnight, with his friend at the wheel, Bill Peck and his blue vase soared up into the moonlight and headed south.
00:54:26.580 | An hour and a half later, they landed in a stubble field in the Salinas Valley,
00:54:30.580 | and bidding his friend goodbye, Bill Peck trudged across to the railroad track and sat down.
00:54:37.580 | When the train bearing Cappy Ricks came roaring down the valley,
00:54:41.580 | Peck twisted a Sunday paper with which he had provided himself into an improvised torch, which he lighted.
00:54:47.580 | Standing between the rails, he swung the flaming paper frantically.
00:54:51.580 | The train slid to a halt, a brakeman opened a vestibule door, and Bill Peck stepped wearily aboard.
00:54:59.580 | "What do you mean by flagging this train?" the brakeman demanded angrily as he signaled the engineer to proceed.
00:55:05.580 | "Is that a ticket?" "No, but I've got the money to pay my way,
00:55:09.580 | and I flagged this train because I wanted to change my method of travel.
00:55:12.580 | I'm looking for a man in stateroom A of car 7, and if you try to block me, there'll be murder done."
00:55:18.580 | "That's right. Take advantage of your half-portion arm and abuse me," the brakeman retorted bitterly.
00:55:24.580 | "Are you looking for that little old man with the Henry Clay collar and the white mutton-chop whiskers?"
00:55:29.580 | "I certainly am." "Well, he was looking for you just before we left San Francisco.
00:55:34.580 | He asked me if I'd seen a one-armed man with a box under his good arm. I'll lead you to him."
00:55:40.580 | A prolonged ringing at Cappy's stateroom door brought the old gentleman to the entrance in his nightshirt.
00:55:47.580 | "Very sorry to have to disturb you, Mr. Ricks," said Bill Peck.
00:55:51.580 | "But the fact is, there were so many Coens and Coans and Cohans, and it was such a job to dig up $2,000
00:55:57.580 | that I failed to connect with you at 745 last night as per orders.
00:56:02.580 | It was absolutely impossible for me to accomplish the task within the time limit set.
00:56:06.580 | But I was resolved that you should not be disappointed. Here is the vase.
00:56:10.580 | The shop wasn't within four blocks of where you thought it was, sir, but I'm sure I found the right vase.
00:56:15.580 | It ought to be. It cost enough and was hard enough to get,
00:56:18.580 | so it should be precious enough to form a gift for any friend of yours."
00:56:23.580 | Cappy Ricks stared at Bill Peck as if the latter were a wraith.
00:56:31.580 | "By the twelve ragged apostles," he murmured, "by the holy pink-toed prophet,
00:56:38.580 | we changed the sign on you, and we stacked the Coens on you,
00:56:42.580 | and we sent a policeman to guard the shop to keep you from breaking the window,
00:56:46.580 | and we made you dig up $2,000 on Sunday night in a town where you are practically unknown,
00:56:51.580 | and while you missed the train at 8 o'clock, you overtake it at 2 o'clock in the morning and deliver the blue vase.
00:56:57.580 | Come in and rest your poor old game leg, Bill. Break man, I'm much obliged to you."
00:57:04.580 | Bill Peck entered and slumped wearily down on the settee.
00:57:09.580 | "So it was a plant?" he cracked, and his voice trembled with rage.
00:57:15.580 | "Well, sir, you're an old man and you've been good to me, so I do not begrudge you your little joke,
00:57:20.580 | but Mr. Ricks, I can't stand things like I used to.
00:57:23.580 | My leg hurts, and my stump hurts, and my heart hurts."
00:57:27.580 | He paused, choking, and the tears of impotent rage filled his eyes.
00:57:33.580 | "You shouldn't treat me that way, sir," he complained presently.
00:57:37.580 | "I've been trained not to question orders, even when they seem utterly foolish to me.
00:57:41.580 | I've been trained to obey them, on time if possible, but if impossible, to obey them anyhow.
00:57:47.580 | I've been taught loyalty to my chief, and I'm sorry my chief found it necessary to make a buffoon of me.
00:57:52.580 | I haven't had a very good time the past three years, and you could pass your skunk spruce
00:57:58.580 | and large rustic and short odd-length stock to some slacker like Skinner,
00:58:02.580 | and you'd better arrange to replace Skinner, because he's young enough to take a beating,
00:58:07.580 | and I'm going to give it to him, and it'll be a hospital job, sir."
00:58:11.580 | Cappy Ricks ruffled Bill Peck's aching head with a paternal hand.
00:58:15.580 | "Bill, old boy, it was cruel, damnably cruel, but I had a big job for you,
00:58:21.580 | and I had to find out a lot of things about you before I entrusted you with that job,
00:58:25.580 | so I arranged to give you the degree of the blue vase, which is the supreme test of a go-getter.
00:58:32.580 | You thought you carried into this stateroom a two-thousand-dollar vase,
00:58:36.580 | but between ourselves, what you really carried in was a ten-thousand-dollar job as our Shanghai manager."
00:58:43.580 | "What?"
00:58:45.580 | "Every time I have to pick out a permanent holder of a job worth ten-thousand-dollars or more,
00:58:50.580 | I give the candidate the degree of the blue vase," Cappy explained.
00:58:55.580 | "I've had two men out of a field of fifteen deliver the vase, Bill."
00:59:00.580 | Bill Peck had forgotten his rage, but the tears of his recent fury still glistened in his bold blue eyes.
00:59:08.580 | "Thank you, sir. I forgive you, and I'll make good in Shanghai."
00:59:13.580 | "I know you will, Bill.
00:59:15.580 | Now tell me, son, weren't you tempted to quit when you discovered the almost insuperable obstacles I'd placed in your way?"
00:59:21.580 | "Yes, sir, I was. I wanted to commit suicide before I'd finished telefilming all the C-O-H-E-N-S in the world,
00:59:30.580 | and when I started on the C-O-H-N-S, well, it's this way, sir,
00:59:36.580 | I just couldn't quit because that would have been disloyal to a man I once knew."
00:59:40.580 | "Who was he?" Cappy demanded, and there was awe in his voice.
00:59:46.580 | "He was my brigadier, and he had a brigade motto, 'It shall be done.'
00:59:53.580 | When the divisional commander called him up and told him to move forward with his brigade and occupy certain territory,
00:59:59.580 | our brigadier would say, 'Very well, sir, it shall be done.'
01:00:03.580 | If any officer in his brigade showed signs of flunking his job because it appeared impossible,
01:00:08.580 | the brigadier would just look at him once, and then that officer would remember the motto and go and do his job or die trying.
01:00:16.580 | In the Army, sir, the esprit de corps doesn't bubble up from the bottom. It filters down from the top.
01:00:22.580 | An organization is what its commanding officer is, neither better nor worse.
01:00:27.580 | In my company, when the top sergeant handed out a week of kitchen police to a buck,
01:00:31.580 | that buck was out of luck if he couldn't muster a grin and say, 'All right, sergeant, it shall be done.'
01:00:37.580 | The brigadier sent for me once and ordered me to go out and get a certain German sniper.
01:00:42.580 | I'd been pretty lucky. Some days I got enough for a mess, and he'd heard of me.
01:00:47.580 | He opened a map and said to me, 'Here's about where he holds up. Go get him, Private Peck.'
01:00:53.580 | Well, Mr. Ricks, I snapped into it and gave him a rifle salute and said, 'Sir, it shall be done.'
01:00:59.580 | And I'll never forget the look that man gave me.
01:01:02.580 | He came down to the field hospital to see me after I'd walked into one of those Austrian 88s.
01:01:07.580 | I knew my left wing was a total loss, and I suspected my left leg was about to leave me.
01:01:13.580 | And I was downhearted and wanted to die. He came and bucked me up.
01:01:17.580 | He said, 'Why, Private Peck, you aren't half dead. In civil life, you're going to be worth half a dozen live ones, aren't you?'
01:01:24.580 | But I was pretty far gone, and I told him I didn't believe it.
01:01:28.580 | So he gave me a hard look and said, 'Private Peck will do his utmost to recover, and as a starter, he will smile.'
01:01:36.580 | Of course, putting it in the form of an order, I had to give him the usual reply.
01:01:41.580 | So I grinned and said, 'Sir, it shall be done.'
01:01:45.580 | He was quite a man, sir, and his brigade had a soul. His soul.
01:01:51.580 | 'I see, Bill. And his soul goes marching on, eh? Who was he, Bill?'
01:01:58.580 | Bill Peck named his idol.
01:02:01.580 | By the twelve ragged apostles, there was awe in Cappy Rick's voice.
01:02:08.580 | There was reverence in his faded old eyes.
01:02:11.580 | 'Son,' he continued gently, 'twenty-five years ago, your brigadier was a candidate for an important job in my employ,
01:02:20.580 | and I gave him the degree of the Blue Vase.
01:02:23.580 | He couldn't get the vase legitimately, so he threw a cobblestone through the window,
01:02:27.580 | grabbed the vase, and ran a mile and a half before the police captured him.
01:02:31.580 | It cost me a lot of money to square the case and keep it quiet.
01:02:34.580 | But he was too good, Bill, and I couldn't stand in his way.
01:02:38.580 | I let him go forward to his destiny.
01:02:41.580 | But tell me, Bill, how did you get the two thousand dollars to pay for this vase?'
01:02:46.580 | 'Once,' said ex-private Peck thoughtfully, 'the brigadier and I were first at a dugout entrance.
01:02:55.580 | It was a headquarters dugout, and they wouldn't surrender.
01:02:58.580 | So I bombed them, and then we went down.
01:03:01.580 | I found a finger with a ring on it, and the brigadier said if I didn't take the ring, somebody else would.
01:03:06.580 | I left that ring as security for my check.'
01:03:10.580 | 'But how could you have the courage to let me in for a two thousand dollar vase?
01:03:14.580 | Didn't you realize that the price was absurd and that I might repudiate the transaction?'
01:03:19.580 | 'Certainly not. You are responsible for the acts of your servant.
01:03:23.580 | You are a true blue sport and would never repudiate my action.
01:03:28.580 | You told me what to do, but you did not insult my intelligence by telling me how to do it.
01:03:32.580 | When my late brigadier sent me after the German sniper,
01:03:35.580 | he didn't take into consideration the probability that the sniper might get me.
01:03:39.580 | He told me to get the sniper.
01:03:41.580 | It was my business to see to it that I accomplished my mission and carried my objective,
01:03:45.580 | which of course I could not have done if I had permitted the German to get me.'
01:03:49.580 | 'I see, Bill.'
01:03:51.580 | 'Well, give that blue vase to the porter in the morning.
01:03:55.580 | I paid fifteen cents for it in a five, ten, and fifteen cent store.
01:03:59.580 | Meanwhile, hop into that upper berth and help yourself to a well-earned rest.'
01:04:03.580 | 'But aren't you going to a wedding anniversary at Santa Barbara, Mr. Ricks?'
01:04:07.580 | 'I'm not, Bill.
01:04:09.580 | I discovered a long time ago that it's a good idea for me to get out of town and play golf as often as I can.
01:04:14.580 | Besides which, prudence dictates that I remain away from the office for a week
01:04:18.580 | after the seeker of blue vases fails to deliver the goods.
01:04:22.580 | And by the way, Bill, what sort of a game do you play?'
01:04:24.580 | 'Oh, forgive me, Bill. I forgot about your left arm.'
01:04:27.580 | 'Say, look here, sir,' Bill Peck retorted.
01:04:30.580 | 'I'm big enough and ugly enough to play one-handed golf.'
01:04:33.580 | 'But have you ever tried it?'
01:04:35.580 | 'No, sir,' Bill Peck replied seriously.
01:04:38.580 | But, it shall be done.
01:04:40.820 | [BLANK_AUDIO]