>> A refreshment got something. Make sure you make your way back. In terms of the questions, thank you for sending them in. Because of the sheer number, I'm going to be selecting from the text messages that came in. So some people have asked, is there open mic? No open mic time.

I'm just going to be filtering through. Again, for those of you guys who are in the back, start taking your seats, and in a minute, we'll begin. >> There, that's better. >> Okay, everybody. We are gonna begin at this time, so if you're in the back, please take your seat now.

And then let's all quiet down and settle in for our Q&A time. We're gonna just go for one hour and cap it there, okay? So thank you, whoever was trying over there to get everybody's attention. Shh, oh nice, very good. Well, I wanna begin with just a couple quick announcements wise.

So I do have the winners of our free books, okay? Thanks to you for everybody who sent in a question. We actually had tons of questions come in and I can't get to every single one. But the first person to text me today was Tiffany Yu. Now, I'm not gonna call you up here for the sake of time.

But because we surprisingly actually have now three Tiffany Yus who registered, your phone number ends with 8248, okay? That's you, so congratulations on being the first winner. Also, the winner of the Men Discipling Men one is our brother Patrick Choi. So let's give him a round. Thanks for sending in that question.

And the final winner of the third book is Huber Kim. All right, just for the sake of time, we're not gonna have you guys come up. But please see me after and we'll give those books to you. Also, we passed out to you this info literature about the Master's University program.

I wanted to give you an opportunity just to share with a little bit about the program. >> Yeah, you received a little bit. In fact, that's one of the reasons why Master's lets me go on the road once in a while, is to be able to kind of represent the program.

Now, you may not be interested in it, but maybe you know somebody that is. So I'd recommend you save that and give it to them. This is a fully accredited graduate program. We've been in existence for 26 years. So we have a long track history, a really good one.

It goes way, way back. Most of the people that teach in our program are all ACBC certified, and they're actively involved in their local churches as well. And very, very well known, all of them are published authors in the Biblical Counseling Movement as well. So if you're interested at all in the--it's a two-year program, graduate program, that consists of 34 graduate hours in the MABC, which is the Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling.

Just tell you a little quick story. There was a woman who joined our program, and she told me the story. She had two Master's degrees and a doctorate degree, and she was teaching at a major university, med students. She was teaching psychology. And she and her husband were having serious marital problems.

They went to their pastor for help, and he helped them so much. Here's all of her training in psychology, and they didn't get any help, none whatsoever. And the pastor helped them, and she said to the pastor, "Well, where did you get this?" He says, "Well, I learned this out at the Master's University in the graduate teaching program out there in Biblical Counseling." And she said, "Well, do you suppose they let me in?" And so she applied, went, and graduated, and now she is actively involved now in Biblical Counseling and actually traveling around the world doing Biblical Counseling right now.

So it's really exciting. She sent me an email after she graduated from the program saying how much she had learned. She said basically her other three graduate degrees didn't teach her as much as she learned in our program, which is really, really significant when it comes to using the Word of God effectively in the lives of people.

So if you're interested in doing that, sign up. In fact, there's a sign-up sheet in the back table back there somewhere. The table is where you did the registration. After the Q&A, we're going to have some volunteers actually man that booth, and they'll direct you to where you can sign up for that.

So just visit the table right out the exit on the left. And we're really close to, in fact, probably this November, we'll get the final word for it. It's taken seven years to get this point, launching a doctoral program fully accredited in Biblical Counseling as well. So that's where our next step is, and we're looking forward to it.

And, in fact, on that sign-up sheet, you can mark whether or not you're interested in the graduate program or the doctoral program, whichever one you would be interested in. Our whole purpose here is to not--we don't want to train people to go out and hang up a shingle and do counseling.

We want them to go back underneath the authority of their local church and work under the authority of their leadership and their elders in their church to do counseling in that context. That's what we're after, all right, those kind of people that are interested in doing that. Amen. I'll just say it would have been really nice if you guys set up that doctoral program.

Because I'm flying out to Kentucky right now. It would have been nice if we could set that up. You pray for accreditation. They're the ones holding us up right now. I see, I see. Okay. So we're going to just start with some of the questions. And, again, because you guys submitted the questions just today, we're just having him answer on the fly.

So thank you for doing that. First one I'll give you is an easy one. I like easy ones. The easiest one is how did you meet your girlfriend? That is an easy one. That's good. We met in college. Interesting the way it unfolded because she was a freshman that had come into college, and I was a junior at that particular time.

She knew my sister who was there. And she expressed to my sister that she needed a ride to a nearby town to catch a bus to go home for the weekend. And, actually, she was going home to break up with her high school sweetheart. Okay. I didn't know that at the time.

And my sister said, "Oh, my brother's got a car. He can take you." So I was going through the cafeteria line one day, and she was working in the cafeteria. And she introduced herself, and she says, "Would you be able to take me to Springfield, Ohio, to catch a bus to go home for the weekend?" I said, "Well, when do you need to go?" And she told me.

It was right on top of a big Greek class at that time. Dr. George Lawler was the professor. He was a very formal professor. He always came to class with a three-piece suit on and a tie and everything. And he made you stand. He sat the whole class. He made you stand with your Greek text and translate everything, parse every verb and every part of speech and the whole thing.

And you're standing there trembling while you're doing it. He's looking at you like, all right, he's going to eat you or something. You never skip Dr. Lawler's class. Never. Under penalty of death. All right. And so I had this terrible dilemma. Pretty girl, Greek class. This is a horrible dilemma to be put into.

All right. Pretty girl won out. I paid for it later in the Greek class. So I took her on the way to Springfield. We got to talking. I thought, man, I've got to figure out a way to ask this gal out. We just see eye to eye on so many things, and it's just really interesting conversation.

So we get there, and I sit there with her waiting until the bus to show up. And so she's getting on the bus. I said to her, I'll send you a bill for this. And she kind of looked surprised, and she said, okay. So she got on and went home for the weekend.

And so that whole weekend I made out in hand calligraphy, do one date for John Street's taxi service to the next basketball game type of thing, sent it to her in inter-campus mail, and then I got cold feet. I thought, man, this is really corny. All right. So I tried to get it back, and they treated inter-campus mail like it was the U.S.

mail system. No, I'm sorry. We can't do that. Can't give it back. Whoa. So it went through. So a couple days after she had returned, I get this envelope in the mail, and I open it, and it has a check in it for a million dollars worth of fund.

And that was our first date. We still have those two pieces of paper. Funny thing about that is our second date we went with my roommate. He was engaged to be married, he and his fiancee, and in those days didn't have to wear seat belts, so bench seats in cars.

His fiancee was sitting up real close to him as he's driving the car, and Janie and I are at either ends of the back seat, okay? And his fiancee leans over to him and says, "I love you." And I looked at Janie, and I said, "What did she say?" Janie said, "I love you." I said, "No, no, no.

What did she say?" So on the second date, she told me she loved me, and I -- It's a true story. >> Thank you for sharing with us. Two people who could be corny together. You guys are meant to be. That's great. Okay. So now to some serious stuff.

Well, actually a lot of people were dying to know. This question came in a lot. Which was ending your first sermon, everybody felt like, wow, I've got so much sin in my heart, and then it ended at that. So people were dying to know what is the difference between regeneration and rehabilitation.

You don't necessarily need to finish your sermon, but what's a little mini-rehabilitation? >> Oh, wow. How do I sum this up? Well, when we're talking about rehabilitation, we're talking about basically a view of the human heart that's radically different from what the Bible presents. Because you'll see this a lot, especially in Christian psychology today, where the heart is passive, empty, wounded, needy.

You'll hear a lot of that terminology going through a lot of Christian psychology books. Passive, empty, wounded, needy. And you'll hear that needs-based kind of theology bleeding through people who have been integrated into psychology more than integrated really into scripture. And that's not at all the way in which the Bible pictures the human heart.

It's not empty, needed, wounded, needy, empty, wounded, needy, and I forget the passive. There we go. It's not that way at all. In fact, it's sinful. And at its very core, the human heart is full. Now, fasten your seat belts. Ready? Here we go. It's full of self-love. It's full of self-love.

Nowhere in the Bible does it ever say that people love themselves too little. The Bible constantly warns that people love themselves way too much. That's what gets them into trouble. All right? That's what really gets them into trouble. But yet, that's a cornerstone to a lot of Christian psychology today, that people don't love themselves enough.

That's such a key thing. And this becomes the very reason behind sin. I remember I had a student come in to me a few years ago. That's when I was still teaching a couple undergrad classes. I don't do that anymore, but she was a senior. She was a really good student, smart.

And I was grading papers, which is the bane of every professor. All right? I'm grading papers in my office, and she comes and knocks on the door, sticks her head in. "Dr. Street, you got a moment?" I look at my papers, and I look at her, and I look at my papers, and I'm going, "Uh, sure.

Come on in." I know these things don't just take a moment. She came in, plopped down in a chair, looked at the floor. I said, "What's wrong?" She said, "I hate myself." I said, "You do?" "Yep." "I hate myself." "Are you miserable?" "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Are you depressed?" "Mm-hmm." "Mm-hmm." "Yep." "I hate myself." Now, I know never to ask this question, but I do it anyhow.

Why do you hate yourself? Now, if you ask that question, be prepared for a long answer. Okay? Be prepared for a long answer. She started in, and it goes something like this. I'm too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny. I'm not athletic enough. I'm not academic enough. Nobody likes me.

Everybody hates me. Think I'll go eat worms type of thing. And she went in 40 minutes. 40 minutes, she goes on and on, all the reasons why she hated herself. And finally, she comes up for air at the end of 40 minutes. And I look at her, and I said to her, "I'm really confused." And she said, "What are you confused about?" I said, "Well, I'm trying to put myself into your shoes." "Okay.

Well, you said that you hated yourself, right?" "Mm-hmm." "You said that you were miserable, right?" "Mm-hmm." "Yeah. You said you were even experiencing serious depression, right?" "Mm-hmm." "Yeah. Yeah." I said, "Well, that makes no sense to me." She said, "Well, why doesn't that make sense to you?" I said, "Well, listen, if I hated me, I mean I really hate me, I hate me.

If I really hate me, and all these other things were wrong, I'm too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, I've got a crooked nose, I've got big ears, nobody likes me, everybody hates me, you think I'll go eat worms?" Then I'd say, "Ha! I hate me anyhow. This is what I deserve." So I'm trying to figure out why you're so miserable.

That makes no sense to me. Nowhere in the Bible, there's not a single reference anywhere in the Bible that says we love ourselves too little. If that's the key to our well-being, then God left out a significant help to us. The Bible is replete with the fact that we love ourselves too much.

That's what Jesus said when he was confronted by the Pharisees, right? What is the greatest commandment? The greatest commandment is, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself." You say, "Wait a minute, there it is. There it is.

Love your neighbor as yourself." Really? I mean, I've heard people say that turns what Jesus said into three commands. I have to learn to love myself, then I can learn to love God and love other people properly. So that's three commands, Jesus. But in the very next verse, this is Matthew 22, verse 40, Jesus says, "On these," wait for it, "two commands the entire law hangs." Not three, two.

What is that? How much we love God and how much we love other people. As much as we love ourselves, Jesus actually assumes in that, that we love ourselves too much and if we loved God and loved other people to the degree that we already love ourselves, we'd have great relationships, but we don't.

On those two commands, on those two pegs, the entire law hangs. We talk about this in our graduate studies. Every counseling situation that our students will ever face will go back to how much a person loves God and how much they love other people. Everything goes back to those two, everything hangs on those two pegs in life, everything.

So it's interesting, but by the time I was finished, she was in tears. She said, "Nobody's ever told this to me before." I went to several passages and showed her about it. So about an hour later, I saw her in the cafeteria there at the university. She's going through the salad line and she comes up to this big bowl of red cherry tomatoes and I'm watching her from across the cafeteria, all right?

And she had a pair of thongs, tongs, excuse me, tongs, not thongs. Wow, that was a Freudian slip, wasn't it? We'll just quickly go by that one. And she was picking up each red cherry tomato, looking at it, putting it back in, picking up another one, looking at it, putting it back in the bowl, picking up one.

Oh, there's one she puts on her salad. What is she doing? I know what she's doing. She hates herself. So she's looking for the worst cherry tomato in the bunch because that's what she thinks that she really deserves, not... What is she looking for? The best one, right? Why?

Because that's always our default nature. That's always our default nature. Now if we're really thinking like a Christian, we'd find the best red cherry tomato in the bunch. We'd find it and go, "Oh, there it is," and put it on the salad of the person behind us. Now we're thinking like a Christian type of thing.

No, but our default nature is to always look out for self. I'm going too long on this, aren't I? This is great. I don't know what the question was, but I'm getting like a sermon right in my face. I know, sorry. We got other questions. I got to get the other questions.

Well, let's think about this. I mean, that just segues into a common question that came up, which is we're thinking about the heart and we just all realize that we're not thinking about the heart. And I think for a lot of people in here, we have so many young working professionals, young families who are trying to establish themselves.

And so they have to care about things like their careers, their next job, and their future. And then the next thing you know, you consume their thoughts and their question is, "I have to do it because it's my responsibility. How do I know it's too much and inappropriate? Are there some benchmarks for us to test our hearts that it's not too big?" Yeah.

You know, the way that you asked that particular question is really important because oftentimes our benchmarks are humanly derived and they're not biblically derived benchmarks. And that's where we get ourselves into trouble. I have to, you know, I met a bunch of guys in counseling before who, they had it in their head, "I want to be a millionaire by the age of 35," type of thing.

In other words, I'm like a bulldozer and I'm going to run over everybody and everything until I reach that particular goal. That is so pagan. All right? And it just is. It's almost as bad as a gambler because, you know, I've met people who were gamblers and they, you know, especially before they were a Christian, they gambled hundreds of thousands of dollars.

And then when they become a Christian, they know that gambling is all wrong, so they stop gambling, but they carry the same heart pattern right into their Christianity. They go right into really risky business ventures. All right? So what are they trying to do really? They're trying to get past one central command in Scripture.

What is that? "Six days thou shalt work." You know, I want to get to a place when I'm young where I don't have to work anymore. Really? When God has commanded, "Six days you need to work." It's not the amount. God doesn't say, "By the age of 40, you need to be a millionaire." He doesn't say that at all.

He says, "You need to learn to work and that's going to be your life and you need to be happy at working at what you're going to do." But if you have this alternative, in a sense, ungodly goal of reaching some kind of status or something like that, it's one thing to want to strive.

That's okay to do better. That's one thing. It's another thing to set that as an idolatrous desire that commands all of your thoughts and your thinking so much that you sacrifice your marriage, you sacrifice your relationship with your children, you sacrifice your commitment to Christ and your involvement in your church.

When you see these things starting to suffer, you know something is seriously wrong in your life. It may start off very imperceptibly, but then it grows as time goes by. And all of a sudden, now this person is middle-aged and they have all this regret. Their kids are growing up, angry, hateful, mean kids.

He and his wife are now distant. It's not a real marriage anymore. It's just a convenience. At that particular point, he's making terrible decisions now, putting those things above people and above relationships. Your first relationship has got to be to God himself. Your second relationship is going to be to your spouse.

The third is going to be your children. The fourth is to your church. And you've got to make decisions based upon that. And then your fifth is to your job and your responsibility in your job. So now I could go into a lot of detail on that, but that's decision-making.

I appreciate that. I think as you were talking, just reflecting on my own thoughts, just as a young man, I have thoughts of certain wishes for my own family and things like that. But when you talked about having a specific vision that's so specific, it starts to garner your commitments and then your decisions.

And therefore, you're no longer thankful for what God has allotted you and given you, but you have a goal that you have established. And then you know, "Oh, my desire, my intention is going to really understand." That's really good. Thank you. So that were just some of the questions in follow-up to the first session that we had.

I want to move now to a second question that's more general and something that you alluded to is, in the goal of reconciliation, is there always a way to reconcile with all the people you have conflicts with or are there just times it just won't work? And what do you do if, let's say, you may intend to reconcile with somebody, that person, the other party, just doesn't want to do it?

Yeah. I think it's vitally important that that should always be our goal, but that doesn't mean it's going to be possible. And let me explain to you why. Grab your Bible. Let's go over to 1 Corinthians 11. I may touch on this tomorrow in our last session, but if I don't have time, I might as well do it now.

1 Corinthians 11, and here the Apostle Paul is describing the church of Jesus Christ, and he says, verse 19, he says, "For there must also be factions among you so that those who are approved may become evident to all." In other words, sometimes in the church, it's a necessity that there's division, all right?

Because it is that division that proves that some are approved of God and others are not. And there's nothing you can do about that because you're taking a stand on truth, you're trying to be as loving to the opposing party as you can be, you're still open to have a reconciled relationship with them, but they are just adamantly opposed to the truth.

That's the reason why Paul says sometimes there has to be factions, there has to be divisions to see who's approved of God and who's not approved of God. All that is important. And then if you go over to Romans 12 there, and I highlighted this verse or I just mentioned it once earlier, he says in verse 18, "If possible," sometimes it's not, "so far as it depends upon you, be at peace with all men." Sometimes it doesn't depend upon you.

In other words, you've done everything you can in order to be at peace with that other person, and yet it's not possible, you can't do it. Then you have to conclude that God is not at a point where He has really changed that other person's heart or their life, and if God hasn't changed their life at that point, then you need to pray for them that God will change them and work in their life so as to help them to be willing to reconcile.

So you've got to trust God's timing in this. We would like to punch button A, B, C, and get a response, right? Because we love computers, we like that. We hit a few keys, we get a response. Hit a few keys, get a response. That trains us for instant gratification.

That's not what happens in spiritual growth. That's not happen, doesn't happen in the dynamic growth life of the church. Sometimes it's hard, it takes a while to rebuild a relationship. It's not going to happen instantly. Sometimes it takes years to do so, to rebuild a relationship. But you've got to remain committed to do that.

Even if the other person is close to do it at this particular time, that doesn't mean they're always going to be. You need to pray for them that God will open up their heart so that they will be willing to do that, so that you have a better relationship than what you had prior to that conflict.

And then, of course, later on in verse 12, he says this. He says in verse 20, Romans 12, he says, "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he's thirsty, give him a drink. For in doing so, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Now, when he's talking about heaping burning coals, that's just ancient warfare terminology.

He's not talking about heaping guilt on people. Our goal is not to heap guilt on people. Our goal is to heap good on them, all right, to heap good on them. That's the goal. In order to have a right relationship. All right, let me tell you a story real quick.

I'll try to keep it short, all right? Several years ago, our oldest daughter, Krista, was going to school. We lived in Ohio. We're still pastoring in Ohio at that time. I pastored there for almost 25 years. And she would get on the bus to go to school, and there was a girl that was a year or two older than her that, for some reason, I don't know why, decided to take it upon herself to make Krista's life miserable.

She would knock her books out of her hand. She would draw all over her homework. She would, you know, before she had a chance to turn it in, then she'd have all this messed up homework, and she'd just irritate her. She'd just, I don't know. So one day, I'm at home, and Krista came home from school, got off the bus, walked in the door, and she had tears in her eyes.

I said, "What's wrong, Krista?" And she said, "Well, Rachel's been bothering me again and doing some bad things and saying terrible things about me." Now as a human father, this is as a human father, Krista was always tall and big for her age. I wanted to say to her, "Krista, just turn around and pop Rachel once real good.

She won't do that anymore, all right? She won't do that anymore," type of thing. And my wife steps in, and she says, "Well, let's practice Romans 12." All right, practice Romans 12. Yeah, and she says, "Well, you know, we've got this chocolate chip cookie recipe." And my wife does have a really good chocolate chip cookie recipe.

It's the reason why I'm in the condition that I'm in. Really good chocolate chip cookie recipe. And so that night, they made piles of chocolate chip cookies, put them on a big plate, covered them with aluminum foil, and Krista and I walked them two blocks up the street to Rachel's house.

And I stayed on the sidewalk, and Krista walked up to the door and knocked on Rachel's door. And of all people in the household, Rachel came to the door, and she was shocked to see Krista there. Krista said, "You know, my family and I were making cookies tonight and thought you and your family would like them.

And Rachel's looking at these cookies like it's a bomb." You know, I'm watching out of the corner what's going on. And so Rachel said, "Okay." And she took them in the house, and Krista walked back. And on the way back, we're walking, and I said, "You know, nothing may come of this, Krista, but God is super pleased with what you did today.

Even if Rachel just continues this way, God is really pleased." So heaping on good means heaping on really good chocolate chip cookies. Do you know that Rachel became a really good friend of Krista's? And her whole family started coming to church and became believers. And when her family left, her father got a job in Wisconsin and moved.

She wrote a long letter to Krista and signed it, "Your best friend, Rachel." Wow. Now I'm not saying that heaping on good will always end up that way. I'm not saying that. But I think that should be our mentality. When people do us evil, we overcome that evil with goodness.

We overcome that, especially another brother and sister in Christ, especially that. Now Rachel and her family were not believers, but especially that should be a brother and sister in Christ overcome evil with goodness. So I want to get to a more generic question in relation to the biblical counseling world as it relates to psychology.

Now I know in terms of on an academic level, it could take a long time to answer. What's the relationship between the two at that end? But as you know, Dr. Street, in the experience of counseling, there are many people within the church where perhaps they were struggling with the idea of counseling.

And they were searching for help in any place. And they were not always able to find it. And in the end, they were in the same place. And I think that's why there's so much confusion with the relationship between the two. I'm not sure that's the best way to put it.

But I think in terms of the general, it's more so not on the lines of academia, but within the church, how would you describe the relationship between psychology and biblical counseling, if there's any role at all for psychology within the church? >> I think it's a very good question.

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