Hi, my name is Nick. I've been coming to Berean since January, and I'm very excited to get baptized today. I grew up going to church with my family. I absorbed everything I learned in Sunday school and tried to be a good kid for my parents' sake. As a child, life seemed to be all about following the rules, and this seems simple enough.

In ninth grade, I made the choice to follow Christ but did not get baptized because I felt like I had no testimony. If you were to ask me then how Jesus changed my life, I would say, "What do you mean? I'm just doing what I'm supposed to do." My life since then has not been a God-honoring one.

My heart has been filled with anger, lust, grudges, self-hatred, and beneath it all, pride. When I think about how utterly sinful I am, I'm reminded of shameful moments in my life, many of which stem from pride. I harbored bitterness toward church peers because I felt like they didn't give me enough respect or time.

I raged uncontrollably at home when my parents challenged my infinite teenage wisdom. I became a hypocrite, obsessed with keeping up the image of being a good Christian, especially to my secular friends. I confessed to follow Christ but contorted God's word in my heart to excuse my own sinfulness, even despising God because I wrongly felt like I wasn't getting what I deserved.

Last year, God finally showed me what a fool I'd been. He took away nearly every relationship I had, and it was just him and me, and I had a lot of time to reflect on how my life was going. Despite how ugly I was and how much I pushed him away, God comforted me in my solitude.

I was so overwhelmed by his love and saw the wickedness of my desire to build up my own image. God tore me down to reveal the truth for the millionth time, that to live, I must accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior, that his sacrifice has freed me from my sin, and that the purpose of my life is to glorify God.

While this moment drove me to seek God earnestly and walk away from a life of self-seeking hypocrisy, I still behaved like I was trying to save myself. I read the Bible more, prayed more, and immersed myself in the church community, but I never went to God and asked for his forgiveness.

But through Berean, God opened my eyes again to just how much my pride was still hindering me, and I was crushed knowing that all I wanted to do was obey, but failing so much because I was ultimately still depending on myself. Again God brought me to a place of repentance.

I saw his forgiveness for my deep and sinister pride, and he has poured it out generously. By his grace, I am learning to live in real freedom from my sin and to have the right posture before God. I am continuing to unlearn, leaning on my own ability, and to instead remember Christ's sacrifice and trust in the hope he brings.

God is so, so good. He's teaching me that it's not about being perfect, but being obedient. Jesus is the perfecter of my faith, not me. I want to keep humbling myself before him and stop fighting his way. I want to follow him and live. Thank you. >> >>