Hi, my name is Tim Tang and I'll be sharing my testimony today. I'm the youngest boy, and only boy of three, and I grew up in a single mother household while visiting my father on occasion. The messiness of the divorce left a lasting wound in the whole family, me included.

Throughout elementary school, my parents would take me to church habitually. I did the usual Christian kid experience, BBS, Sunday school, etc. Even so, I did not understand what was going on around me, and that feeling changed when my parents left to China, they did for separate reasons. I began hopping around different auntie, uncles' houses, church parents, and at this time, my youth group pastor took a stint taking care of me and introduced me to Christ.

I bought into the idea that Christ is my savior and started attending church due to an overwhelmingly love that my pastor shared with me. However, my understanding of Christ was not founded on the Bible. I had my own understanding of the Bible that would lead me astray throughout high school.

While living in sin, whether it was drinking, drugs, partying, I became reliant on false pretenses I had of Christ, that Christ wanted me to succeed, that I suffered enough through life and Christ will pour his care over me in the way I desired. In actuality, though, I lived two lives, the church me and secular me.

I was serving two masters. Before my freshman year of college, these misconceptions of the Lord came to a head, and I noticed the holes in my faith. I started to look for the meaning of my faith in the word and trusted false teachers of the word. I became involved with Shincheonji, a Korean cult led by Man-hee Lee.

Their knowledge of the word surpassed anyone I met thus far and is still better than most brothers and sisters I know. In reality, they twisted the word by discrediting the Holy Spirit and instead claiming their church is the only church that has the truth. John 14.26 says, "But the advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." For a year, I unknowingly learned how to cherry pick the word and twist the word to take the Holy Spirit out of the equation and replace it with false teachings.

My experience with the cult soured continually as my intimacy with the Lord lessened. By the grace and guidance of the Holy Spirit, I started to find small holes in their arguments, inconsistencies from other verses, and I left the cult unsure of where I stood with my faith and where was God in all of this.

I wondered why God led me down this road that would make me question his existence. I would look at my previous experiences of my faith and the word with a sour feeling that was impressed to me by the cult. I decided to forego my relationship with the Lord due to this turmoil.

I did everything in my power to fill a Christ-shaped hole in my heart. I started an extremely successful business selling computer components. I went back to drinking and forsook my connection with the church. I lived amidst my sin for a year and a bit, hoping my pain and guilt would go away.

I thought I could live a life content with the omission of Christ. But when quarantine started, my business was shut down, and I was alone with myself in my apartment in Irvine, and I went crazy a little bit just from staying at home by myself. However, I had time to reflect on my spiritual health, and nothing could fill or fit the role of being the center of my life.

My greed, my deception, pride, envy, malice, the list goes on. It all tried and failed to be the center, and all came from a heart that was too scared to put its faith in Christ. However, as much as I could draw myself in the world's pleasure, I could not escape the facts laid out in the world that Christ is still searching for me, knocking on my door, beckoning me to trust in him and in him alone.

The almighty God who has died for my transgressions against him is still holding on to me, that my sins pale in comparison to what God has done for me. This broke me in every single way possible. I never thought I would consider myself Christian again in my life, but my only response was to go back and find him again.

I started reading the word again, decided to go back to church, and my brothers and sisters at Bernie encouraged me to look through the word myself, not rely on others or my salvation or other people's teachings. Through God's endless grace and gentle guidance and many loving rebukes, I learned how to read and apply the word in my life.

This led to a true understanding of what Christ has done, that he calls me to surrender all I am, not just my sin. I finally understand that Christ is my Lord and Savior. I have found my hope, my faith, my love in the aftermath of the cross. I still have much to grow, but I finally understand my calling to continue to love my God with all I am, sin, brokenness, and all.

I am no longer lost amidst the solution of the word and that Christ has loved me all this time. Thank you.