...worship has not been restored, you missed the whole point of salvation. That if your life is still lived with you at the center, and the whole point of your relationship with God is what can God do for you, then the whole point of salvation, you missed the whole point.

You've entered the race, but you're running the whole opposite direction. So lordship is central to what it means to be saved. It is not one of many things that Christians should know. Because to be restored into a proper relationship with God is to be restored as worshipers of God, not ourselves.

And that's how he concluded the text, concluded his message. So for the next chapter and a half, what is he going to talk about? He's done, should be, we're done, goodbye, see you later, right? Well for the next chapter and a half, he's going to be explaining about his own ministry.

Why he wrote what he wrote, what his intentions are, and he basically is going to be giving an exposition of his ministry itself. Typically we would think that somebody would begin the letter like that, right? They begin the letter and say, "This is why I'm writing to you, and this is how I'm going to speak to you, and this is what I'm going to say," and then he would say it, but Paul says it at the end of his letter, right?

And so we have to be careful that we don't read the last chapter and a half thinking, "It's a postscript, and he's just saying bye, so we don't need to pay much close attention." But in fact, what Paul says in the last chapter and a half really reveals the application in his own life.

The application of everything that Paul has been teaching and encouraging the churches to practice, it's a revelation of Paul himself practicing it in his own life. So what I'm going to start today is going to go on, obviously, for maybe a couple of months, describing Paul's ministry. And so in particular, verse 14 through 21 is a defense of Paul's ministry.

Why did he write this letter? How did he write it? Why is he doing what he is doing? And so, again, there's about four or five things that he mentions in this text. I thought we were going to take two weeks, but it's going to take at least three weeks to get through this text.

And so hopefully you guys can follow along. I want to read a quote from J.I. Packer, and it's from his book, "The Little Book on the Word of God." This is what he says, "Certainly about the great issues of Christian faith and conduct is lacking all along the line.

The outside observer sees us as staggering on from a gimmick to gimmick, stunt to stunt like so many drunks in a fog, not knowing at all where we are or which way we should be going. Preaching is hazy, heads are muddled, hearts fret, doubts drain strength, uncertainty paralyzes action.

Unlike the first century Christians who in three centuries won the Roman world, and those later Christians who pioneered the Reformation and the Puritan awakening and the Evangelical revival and the great missionary movement of the last century, we lack certainty." We have to admit that we live in a culture where everything is okay unless you're certain about something.

It's arrogant to speak with any kind of authority, any kind of certainty. And sad to say that's true even in the church. You can hold on to your doctrines, but don't be too strong. Don't speak with certainty. So we live in a culture where if you really love Christ, that we're accepting of everything.

And as a result of that, we have strayed away from the doctrines of the scripture, and we have, like, you can hold on to your opinions, but you don't be too strong on anything. And as a result of that, what J. I. Packer describes of haziness in our doctrines, haziness in understanding our faith, and as a result of this confusion as to what the Word of God says, he says, "Uncertainty paralyzes action." So when you're not certain about something, when you're not convicted about something, it naturally, the fruit that it produces is uncertainty.

That's why we have Christians who profess to believe, but very few who are actually committed. Because to say, "I am committed to this," oh, that's his personality. You know, he has that way, or he goes to this church, or he does that. But to be convicted about something, naturally you get criticism.

That guy's self-righteous. He's judgmental, or maybe this or that, and kind of, you know, the pressure is to come to the middle where everything is okay. And sad to say, that's kind of like the culture that you and I live in. You can belong to a church, you can belong to a denomination, you can be active at church, and you can do all these things, but don't speak with absolute certainty about anything.

Because if you do, you're self-righteous. You're proud. Paul, in describing his own ministry, he says in verse 15 and 16, "But on some of these points that I have written to you, very boldly, by way of reminder, because of the grace given to me by God." Paul describes what he says.

He said, "I spoke to you boldly for a reason." The first thing that we want to understand about Paul's writings and all the doctrines that he says, there is absolute certainty with what Paul is saying. Paul doesn't say, you know, "Here are some suggestions. These are things that I think are true." He said, "I'm writing these things.

Even the things that may make you feel uncomfortable. This is absolute truth." And the reason why he's able to speak so boldly, he states it in verse 15 and 16, he says, "I speak boldly in reminder because, one, grace was given to me by God." In other words, Paul was absolutely certain that what he is saying is because God told him to say it.

It is not just regurgitation of information. It's not because I read some books and I went to seminary, so I learned these truths, and so I'm going to take what I have learned and I'm going to disseminate it to you. Paul says, no, he is absolutely convinced that he is speaking for God.

The words coming out of his mouth represents God himself. You can't be an ambassador to the UN with uncertainty. You can't say that I'm an ambassador to the United States and say, "What does America think about this?" Well, you know, they think this and we think that, and this is my opinion.

Then you can't be an ambassador. An ambassador has to be certain where he stands. An ambassador has to be certain what the president desires to say, and he's just simply a mouthpiece. Paul's certainty came from knowing that his calling was from God. Secondly, he says to be a minister of Christ, that he was called from God for the purpose of representing Christ.

His primary goal is not to be overly concerned about his listeners. Now, that may sound weird to some of you, you know, but I'm going to say that my primary goal as a pastor is not to make sure that all of you want to hear me. I am very aware that there's some things that I say that some of you are not going to like.

But my primary concern is not how you will respond to what is said. My primary concern is, am I saying what Jesus would say if he was standing up on his pulpit? So Paul says, "My calling is from God, so therefore he's a minister of Christ, first and foremost." Every once in a while, I would get somebody who tells me that I don't think my non-Christian friends would be comfortable at this church.

Now, I have no intention of deliberately making non-Christians uncomfortable. I don't want to deliberately use big words, dispensationalism and hypostatic union of Christ. There's no need for me to sound with high vocabulary and confuse people. But the primary goal of the church is not to make non-Christians feel comfortable in the church.

The church was called to be distinct from the world. The problem that you and I get into in our generation is that we are so concerned about being distinct from the world that more and more you can't tell the difference between Christian and non-Christian. Nobody ever travels to different countries and complain that the country that you are at is different than the country that you came from.

You don't go to Japan and say, "You know what? Japan doesn't look anything like the United States. I don't think I'll ever come back here again." Because there's that understanding that when you enter into their world, their culture, that there's going to be different things. You don't travel to Kenya and say, "You know what?

The food tastes so different." You expect it to be different. You don't go in there and the leaders of Japan and leaders of different countries say, "You know what? We want Americans to feel comfortable where we're at, so we're going to change our food to make sure that they're comfortable where we're at." We expect when we travel to different kingdoms, different countries, that there's going to be distinct things about them.

When non-Christians come into the church, they are entering into a different kingdom where Christ rules. The god of this age is Satan. Satan has rule over the entertainment, over the values, over the direction of the world. So if they enter into a church body of Christ where Christ is the head of the church, there should be distinction.

It should look distinctly different. There should be a culture shock. And as a result of this culture shock, to open their eyes to see the god that we worship. See, Paul says he speaks with boldness and clarity because he's clear who he serves. And as a result of that, he says he's a minister of Christ Jesus to the Gentiles.

He recognizes that God has called him specifically for them. He didn't only preach to the Gentiles, but he represents Christ to the Gentiles in the priestly service of the gospel of God. Of the gospel of God. Again, in our churches, if we're not careful, we can be a self-help instructional place where people who are having hard times raising kids and how to be a good mother, how to be a good father, how to organize your family, how to reach the poor and do social justice.

And all of these things are good things that the scripture teaches. But the primary calling of the church is to preach the gospel. To bring sinners to repentance and reconcile them to the holy God. Our primary calling is not to feed the poor. He called us as Christians to be concerned for the poor.

Our primary calling is not to make a community of people who care about each other and raise our children together. All of these things are byproducts of people who have been reconciled to God. But the primary calling of the church is to reconcile sinners, to bring them to repentance, to be reconciled to the only source of life.

To preach the gospel. In season and out of season. That's why Paul speaks with such clarity, with such boldness. He does not apologize about anything that he says. 2 Timothy 1.7, "For God gave us a spirit not of fear or timidity, but of power and love and self-control." The reason why he writes that is because Timothy, when Paul is writing the second letter to Timothy, the spiritual environment has changed drastically from the first time he was in prison in Philippians.

In Philippians he says, "I thank God for my imprisonment because it has emboldened other brothers to preach the word of God more boldly." And so it was actually producing more boldness in other people. But by the time he's writing 2 Timothy, he's writing this last letter, and people are beginning to fall out.

Even his fellow companions who are with him suffering for the gospel saw that Apostle Paul was waiting for death to come, and some of them were starting to return back. And he's writing to this young protege, telling Timothy, concerned that he might fall into this fear. And he's reminding them, commending him, challenging him, that the spirit that leads you back into your old life is not from God.

God called us, and he gave us a spirit, not a spirit of fear or of timidity, but of power and of love and self-control. You always hear from people saying, "You know, we need to get back to the early church. We need to be like the book of Acts." One of the primary characteristics of the early church was boldness, clarity.

In Acts 4.13, after Peter and John gives their testimony about Christ preaching the gospel, this is what they said. "Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John..." I mean, think about everything that they could have observed about Peter's preaching. It was clear, he exposited the Old Testament.

But of all the things that they could have said, after being convicted about the Word, he said, "Wow, they were amazed by his boldness." They were amazed by his boldness, how he spoke with authority. And they said, "These are just fishermen." And they perceived that they were uneducated, common men.

So in other words, their boldness did not come from education. Their boldness did not come because they went to some specific schools and got an MDiv or a PhD. Or from their many experiences, they were raised in a priestly home. Or maybe their parents were from San Hedron. They said they had no connection whatsoever from the religious order of that time.

They were just uneducated fishermen. So where did this boldness come from? They said, "And they recognized that they had been with Jesus." And immediately they gave credit to Christ. What made these men and their preaching and their lives so powerful is their proximity to Christ. And that's exactly what Paul was saying.

He said, "I speak with boldness because God called me to be a minister of Christ to the Gentiles for the preaching of the Gospel." And he was clear. Peter and John is standing in the presence of the same people who cried out and wanted to crucify Christ. He's standing before the leaders of Israel who had the authority to put him in jail, beat them, and possibly crucify them as well.

What gave them this boldness that even they were willing to even give their life? And they recognized that they were with Jesus. Acts 4, 31, "And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness." Their proximity to Jesus and the filling of the Holy Spirit immediately led to boldness, clarity, conviction.

Acts 13, 46, "And Paul and Barnabas spoke out boldly, saying, 'It was necessary that the word of God be spoken first to you.'" So over and over again, if you read the book of Acts, it is the movement of the Holy Spirit as it empowers people to speak with boldness.

God has ordained the preaching of his word, the foolishness of preaching, to bring about the salvation of the lost. But it is not just any kind of preaching. It is not just regurgitation of information. It is not just things that you have read that you are transferring for somebody else.

It is the boldness that is accompanied by the presence of the Holy Spirit. That is what the early church was characterized by. And that is what Paul says. He says, "I am preaching to you with clarity and boldness because this is from God." Most of Paul's letters, he writes with the introduction, "A bond slave of Jesus Christ." So I remember early on when I would read that, I thought, "Oh, Apostle Paul is humbling himself." He is trying to serve the church, and he is saying, "I am a bond servant of Jesus Christ, so I am here to serve you." And I realized, the more I studied the text, that though, yes, Apostle Paul recognizes that he is a servant of Christ, but the reason why he calls himself the bond servant or the slave of Jesus Christ is to establish authority in that letter.

That these are not his words. This is not an opinion of many experiences, and he tried this and tried that, and he found that these things work. So I am writing these things to you because I know better than you. Instead, Paul establishes authority right from the beginning of the letter, saying, "Listen to what I have to say because it is coming from Christ himself." And that is why he is able to speak with such boldness.

In particular, the book of Galatians. Galatians 1.10, it says, "For I am, am I now seeking the approval of man or of God? Am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Those of you who know the content of the book of Galatians, Paul is writing to a church, not just one church, but many churches in that area, because of Judaizers were coming in and they were trying to mix the gospel with the Jewish laws.

And so Paul begins the letter by saying, "If anyone preaches a different gospel, other than what you already know, let him be anathema, let him be condemned." In other words, it is a modern way of saying, "Let him go to hell." It is the harshest statement that he can say.

But the reason why he writes Galatians 1.10 is because he was rebuking Peter and Barnabas by name, publicly. If there was any two people that Apostle Paul may have been tempted to compromise in order to not cause conflict and embarrassment, the first person would have been Barnabas. Because Barnabas was Apostle Paul's mentor in the beginning, when everybody else was like, "How can that guy who was just a few months ago trying to kill everybody, how can he be now preaching the gospel?" So even the people who saw Jesus resurrected from the dead had a hard time believing that his conversion was real.

That's how radical his conversion was. So Barnabas was the first one who stood up and he said, "I can testify that his conversion is real." So Barnabas was the first guy who stood up for him to be accepted in the church. So if there was anybody that he would have been tempted to compromise the gospel for, it would have been Barnabas.

If there was a second person he would have been tempted, it would have been Peter. Because he knew if he got on the other side of Peter, he could have had the whole early church turn against Apostle Paul. Because Peter was a leader among the apostles. Who was this latecomer who was about to kill us and now he's calling Peter out, embarrassing him, because he was confusing the gospel.

He says in Galatians that Peter and Barnabas were being affected by the Judaizers coming from Jerusalem and they refused to sit with the Gentiles and would only eat with the Jews, confusing the gospel. That the lines, the hostility between Jews and Gentiles has been abolished by the blood of Christ and now we are one.

But because of their action, because of their compromise, the gospel is being compromised. So Paul calls them out. If we are more concerned about the opinion of man, we are automatically disqualified. Automatically disqualified. If we are more concerned about if I say this will more people come, we are disqualified.

If I say this, will people leave the church, then we are disqualified. First and foremost, are we called by God? Are we convicted of the things that we profess or is it enough that you just sing the songs? Is it enough that you are just part of the church?

See, when we are hazy and our convictions aren't strong, it's enough to just belong to the right church. To sit under a man of conviction rather than being convicted yourself. When you are not clear. But when we are clear, when we are convicted, when we are certain that this is from God, it leads to boldness.

Now let me give an encouragement and a warning at the same time. Let me just sidetrack for a second because whenever we say this, we can easily apply it in the wrong way. One, an encouragement. We named ourselves Berean Community Church for a reason. Because as you guys know, that Bereans were commended for testing what Paul was saying to see if it was scriptural.

So right off the bat, we wanted to make sure that the authority is established in the word of God. I don't want ever for anybody in our church, for my words to be the final authority. If you ever get in an argument and you say, "But Pastor Peter said this." Don't ever think that I'm like, "Hmm, they're quoting me?" Job well done, right?

The whole purpose of why we named ourselves Berean Community Church is because we want you to test the leaders. We want you to test the teaching. So the final authority isn't what does the church believe. What does it matter what the church believes? What do you believe? What are your convictions?

So that whatever conversations that we have, whatever conflict that we have, that we make sure that it's a biblical conversation. That quoting leadership doesn't end that conversation. So we encourage you and we challenge you. If our church is going to be where Christ is the head of the church, and our church is going to have convictions, that you do not coattail, you do not just get on the train just because I'm convicted.

You need to be convicted. You need to see what the word of God says. So that's my encouragement to you. But the other part of caution, one is don't let your authority come from the leadership. But the warning is don't let your authority come from yourself either. Where we, our danger could be that we have all kinds of thoughts and opinions, and we want this and we want that, and don't let that be from you either.

Not from your experience, not from your personality, not from your intellect, not from your education. That it needs to be from his word. That's why Jesus says, "Before you judge others, make sure you take out the log out of your eyes, so you can see clearly the speck in someone else's eye." In other words, if we're not right with God, if we're not saturated with his words, our vision is tainted.

So we want a church that debates and has conversations and have Bible studies centered around what is the meaning of the text, but we want to make sure that whatever conversation we're having, that the end conclusion is the text. End conclusion is what he is saying, not my opinions.

Paul was clear and convicted. We need to be a church, not just from the pulpit, but congregation who is committed to the truth themselves. Jeremiah 14, 13-15, Jeremiah says, "O sovereign Lord, the prophets keep telling them, 'You will not see the sword or suffer famine. Indeed, I will give you lasting peace in this place.'" Why were the false prophets telling them this?

Because who wants to go and tell a bunch of people that judgment is coming, that if you don't turn from your sins, that judgment is coming, because that's the message that God gave Jeremiah. And the reason why he's preaching peace is because he is more concerned about their opinion and what they think of him than what God sent him to do.

And so the common message of the false prophets was to tickle their ear, to encourage them, to strengthen them. Verse 14, "And the Lord said to me, 'The prophets are prophesying lies in my name. I have not sent them or appointed them or spoken to them. They are prophesying to you false visions, divination, idolatries, and delusions of their own minds.

Therefore, this is what the Lord says about the prophets who are prophesying in my name, I did not send them, yet they are saying, 'No sword or famine will touch this land. Those same prophets will perish by sword and famine.'" The reason why there's fuzziness, there's reason why there's haziness and lack of conviction is because, again, at that time, because these false prophets were there to tickle their ears.

Again, you and I have to admit, we are living in a generation that in order for the Protestant churches to succeed, we need to gather as many people into the room and pay their tithes so we can grow. But the danger behind all of that, the way that the church is being established today, it naturally leads to haziness.

Today, if somebody wants to go into ministry, and this is very typical, this is not an extraordinary way somebody comes into ministry. You go short-term missions, you get convicted, or you're active in campus ministry, and so you really enjoyed what you did, and so you unilaterally decide, maybe opinion of a few of your friends, decide to go into ministry.

And so you choose to go and you apply for a seminary, and seminary, the threshold of getting into seminary is pretty low. And I went to seminary, but let's be honest. You don't need to be an A+ student to be a seminary student. I'm a living testimony of that.

You could be a C-, C-, maybe a D if you know what to say, right? But it's just basically they'll accept you. You got money, they'll accept you, basically. Oh, is that too harsh? That's the truth. That's the truth. You can get in. Basically, if you want to get in, you can get in.

When's the last time you met somebody that got rejected from seminary? Anyway, let me move on. Okay. That's typically how it works. You decide to go, you go into seminary, and then you start studying. Some are good students, some are not good students, right? But once you enter, there's plenty of churches who are in need, right?

You have youth groups, and you have children's ministry, college ministry. We have more churches than pastors who can fill the role. So if you happen to be in seminary, because so few people want to be full-time ministers because the draw isn't money, right? So even to do that, you have to have some kind of sacrifice.

So if you're willing to sacrifice, then you come into ministry, and then you become a pastor. Because as soon as you have one class under your belt, you're a pastor. And then once you enter in and you become a pastor, you're no different than John Piper. Because you're standing up on, at least to your authority, in front of people who don't know much of Scripture, whatever you say goes.

And then typically what happens, you become a pastor, but he never went through any kind of filtering. So Scripture says not to lay hands hastily. Because some men's sins are obvious, some men's sins trail behind them. So I'm not saying that everybody who enters into ministry that way are all bad, and they're not representing Christ.

But the thing is, there is no filter. And so if you want to get ordained, all you have to do is say, "Hey, I want to get ordained," and you get tested. And so if you were a C+ student, you can pass an ordination, because most denominations have a board of elders that will test you.

They say, "These are the facts that you need to know." They were already tested, or they wouldn't have graduated seminary. So all they have to do is answer these questions and get a decent grade, and you're ordained. And so once you get ordained, you have authority to speak the Word of God.

It's just a matter of where. So that's typically--I'm not telling you like an extraordinary way that somebody comes into ministry. Nine out of ten people who come into ministry come into ministry through those channels, because the church is not well. And because the church is sick, anybody who wants to can easily become a pastor.

So it's kind of like, well, we hope that they do well. We hope that they have integrity. We hope that they're not coming to please man. But the truth is a lot of people come through these doors simply because they wanted to, period. When the Scripture clearly says not to lay hands hastily, because some mentions are obvious that everybody is going to see and say, "Why?

That guy is going to be in ministry?" And then some mentions trail behind them, like when they are tested. You can see. You can see their flaws, and clearly they shouldn't represent God in that way. And so he says to warn them that if you lay hands hastily, that you will participate in their sin, and you will also be guilty.

And so he tells Timothy to be cautious. The way that someone enters into ministry, there are a lot of people who shouldn't be up in the pulpit. There are a lot of people, a lot of churches. Again, my goal is not to paint the picture of despair in the churches.

But when the Scripture says these false prophets are running, and they are saying what people want to hear because they want to have a successful church, and as a result of that, they will distort and say and do whatever it takes to be successful. But their idea of success is very worldly.

Paul's boldness came from clear guidance that God sent him for the purpose of ministering in Christ to the Gentiles in preaching the gospel. He was handpicked by Christ, and that's why he was able to speak with such boldness. In Jeremiah 6.14, the false prophets are described that they have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, "Peace, peace, when there is no peace." You know the wound that he's talking about?

He's not talking about broken relationships. He's not talking about hardships in raising children. You know the wound that he's talking about? He's talking about their idolatry. He's talking about their sin. He says these false prophets are looking at the sin and the judgment that they're under, and instead of warning them for their sins, their wounds, he's treating it lightly.

Basically putting a band-aid over their cancer, and making them feel better, and telling them everything is okay. Part of the reason why the affection for Christ is hazy is because the way that the gospel is being preached today. See, the reason why these false prophets were being convicted and under the judgment of God is because the primary purpose of the church is to bring unrepentant sinners to repent and to be reconciled to a holy God.

It is not people who are lonely, who need community, that that's why he established the church. He didn't establish the church because there's a lot of hungry people that need to be fed. He didn't establish the church because the world is filled with orphans that need to be adopted.

He didn't establish the church because it's hard living and we have financial problems to deal with that issue. All of these things are a byproduct of people who are saved, but the primary reason why Christ came was to reconcile sinners to a holy God. Everything that he did, everything that he said was for that purpose.

See, when the gospel is presented properly, it brings sinners to their knees. In desperate need for Christ. When a church is filled with people who want Christ, but doesn't need him. You have a church filled with people who are singing songs, regurgitating information, attending Bible study, but never fully committed.

Never fully committed, because it is enough for people who are half convicted to just listen to good messages. It is enough just to read the books. It is enough to be in the community of people who are doing the right things. But when we are convicted of this truth, it brings to every single person, including myself, on our knees desperate for a Savior.

Desperate for a Savior. That's the purpose of Paul's letter. He said, "I write these things with boldness, because life and death was on the line." He wasn't just simply covering over their cancer with band-aid. Even though it hurts, this pain is good for the sinners. When people are convicted over their sins, they may not like what they hear, and at times they picked up stones to stone him.

He never held back this message, because he was dealing with cancer, not a cut. That's where his boldness came from. Clarity, conviction, his proximity to Christ and to the Holy Spirit. Until you and I are connected with the Savior, we will always be satisfied with someone else's testimony. We just regurgitate, "Oh, my pastor said this, these people went there, and I read a story about this." But it's never our testimony.

It's never about us. We're not witnesses for Christ. We're witnesses of witnesses of Christ. And it loses its power. We are called to be near Christ. That's where our boldness and conviction comes from. Ezekiel 2.3-10 "Ah, he said to me, 'Son of man, I send you to the people of Israel, to nations of rebels who have rebelled against me.

They and their fathers have transgressed against me to this very day. The descendants also are impudent and stubborn. I send you to them, and you shall say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God.' And whether they hear or refuse to hear, for they are a rebellious house, they will know that a prophet has been among them." Now, I want you to listen very carefully.

He calls Ezekiel to a stubborn nation, obstinate, impudent. And he said to preach this to them. And then he says, "Whether they hear or refuse to hear." Now, does God know that they're not going to listen to him? Of course, he already knows. Then why send him? He calls Isaiah.

He shows him this awesome vision of God. "Who will go for me and represent me and speak on my behalf?" And Isaiah nobly says, "I will go. Here am I. Send me." And then God says, "Go to these people who are stubborn, stiff-necked. They will not listen to you." He said, "What?

How long? I'll put in my time." A year, two years? When are they going to repent? He said, "Until judgment comes." "What? Then why are you sending me? Why go through all that drama of showing your kingdom and cleansing my mouth so that I can be your mouthpiece to people who aren't going to listen?" You know, the very first temptation that I ran into in ministry was this.

You know, when I first came into ministry, I saw what I thought was a lot of fruit. I was a youth pastor and started with five youth group kids, and then they grew to 16. So revival, right? And then I went to Oron Baptist, and I was in a youth group, and it started with 30-something, and then it grew to about 70, 80.

And then they transferred me to the college ministry. It started with 15, and at one point it grew to almost 100 people. So on the surface, it looked great. And I started getting support from the parents, like the youth group is growing, our children who didn't want to come to church are now coming to church.

And at one point, our church was the biggest college ministry. This is before Bethel. Those of you guys who know this, Bethel Church, before they started really growing. So ours was the biggest English ministry in this area for two reasons. One, our church was known to be a sports church.

So annually we had a volleyball tournament, and our church dominated because we had all the varsity volleyball players of Irvine High School at our church. So we had the best setter, we had the best spiker, and so we were known as the sports church. And then we built the outside basketball court, full court, and we would finish service, go out and get lunch, and we have to hurry up and run back, or else you're going to have to wait three games to play a game.

So we would play anywhere from 1 p.m. to sometimes 8 o'clock during the summer, right? And so we played like crazy. So that was one of the reasons. So we attracted all these guys who were interested in sports, and then we had some attractive people at church. That was the second reason, maybe the bigger reason.

We had some cheerleaders at Uni High School and Irvine High School, and so a lot of these guys that I didn't see in worship, I would see them around the church. And routinely I would have to ask them after church, "What are you doing here?" And I would chew them out of the church.

But they were coming to church, so it was growing in number. And so on the surface, it looked like, "Wow, great things are happening in church," but then the more I looked into the church, it wasn't real fruit. And the reason why I wasn't satisfied with that is because I grew up-- I'm a third-generation pastor in our home, and I saw everything behind the curtain.

At one point, my dad was a pastor of a large church out in Korea, but he was also a pastor of a church of 30 or 40 members, so I've experienced both ends. And I was around famous pastors, revival speakers, people who were scholars who were professors and teaching at large seminaries.

So I was sitting in the back listening to all this and know all the drama in the church, and I knew that so much of Christianity is just the presentation, and that's part of the reason why I hated the church. So when I began to see this in the church, it grieved me that it looked great on the surface, but behind the scene, people were telling me things like, "Hey, Peter, can you keep your sermon short?

We need more time to play basketball." And it was genuine advice, concern that they figured out how to do ministry. And sure enough, it's true. There's easy way to double the attendance of this church. One, keep the sermon shorter. That's the first thing, because I've heard so many people who refuse to come to our church because my sermons are over 30 minutes.

So if I kept it around 25 minutes, I know it would attract a lot of your friends, because I've been told that, so I'm very aware of that. Don't be too strong in your sermon, because it makes people feel uncomfortable. I've had people stand up in the middle of the service and just leave, and I know why they were leaving.

They weren't going to the bathroom. I've seen it enough. So I know, keep it light, encourage them. Life is hard. So they want to come to church and be encouraged. And again, there's nothing innately wrong with all of that. But I was so frustrated, even at the peak of ministry, when the numbers were growing, because it wasn't what I wanted to see.

And I began to feel like I was more of a recreational leader than a minister of God. And so I was starting to wrestle with this. Why do I really want to do this? I've seen what my mom went through. I've seen what our family went through, because my dad was in ministry.

It's one thing to sacrifice to see real fruit. It's another thing to sacrifice to see this. So I tried everything. I started fasting. I did morning prayer. Friday night prayer. And there was a period when street preaching was a regular part of our life. And street preach in parades, on campus, in classrooms.

And so the first youth group that I led at Irvine Baptist, I used to take them in front of Irvine High School and have them preach. They would stand in a corner, and when their friends would go during lunchtime, they would stand and they would preach the gospel. And for two reasons.

One, I wanted them to preach the gospel. I was kind of training them to be bold in preaching the gospel. The second reason was so that they would never be able to embrace this world. Because you can't be cool after you preached in front of your friends. So they would have no option but to embrace Jesus after that.

So, you know, Elder Joe, he was one of those students. There he is right there. So he remembers. Right? And I tried everything. And you get an immediate response, but the total byproduct wasn't what I wanted. And so I really wrestled with that. And I don't know how many times I discussed with Esther, I don't know if I want to keep doing this.

It's one thing to sacrifice to see noble end. It's another thing to sacrifice and then have nothing. At least that's what it seemed like. And then God began to convict me. Are you in ministry because you want to see the byproduct or are you my servant? Are you my servant?

We all want to be Apostle Paul and sacrifice, even die in the context of preaching the gospel, establishing churches, and then die gloriously. But then Jeremiah is a weeping prophet. And all his ministry, he wept and then he died. And then after he died, they said, oh, he was the real prophet.

These guys were fakes, but he died. God called Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Isaiah to preach the word in season and out of season because their calling was not to get people to come. Their calling was to represent Christ, to say what he would say. Verse 6, "And you, son of man, be not afraid of them, nor be afraid of their words.

Though briars and thorns are with you, and you sit on scorpions, be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks. For they are a rebellious house, and you shall speak my words to them, whether they hear or refuse to hear, for they are a rebellious house." And I'll tell you that this is probably the most important lesson that I learned as a pastor.

I will preach the same thing and in the same way, and there are times when people come and they want to listen. I have preached the same thing in the same way, and people refuse to come to church for the same sermons. I've been preaching since I was 19.

For the most part, for the last 20-some years, my preaching has been the same. And I've seen fruit, and I've seen people refuse to come for the same sermon. But I have not been called to build a large church. I have not been called to build a small church.

I've been called to speak his word and to do it faithfully. And there are times when it will be in season, and there will be times when it is not in season. But I do not have that option. See, boldness comes from conviction, and I had to repent of that.

I had to repent, because when I decided to go into ministry, I thought I was surrendered. And it revealed to me when I was frustrated in ministry that I wasn't. I had my own thoughts of what ministry should look like, and when it didn't, I wanted to quit. But if I'm a servant of God, I'm his conduit for what he desires to do, in season and out of season.

And he says, verse 8, "But you, son of man, hear what I say to you. Be not rebellious like that rebellious house. Open your mouth and eat what I give you." Eat it. Before you are sent out, you need to know what the word of God says. You need to know who I am.

Look at this scroll. Read it. Meditate on it. Eat it. Digest it. "When I looked, behold, a hand was stretched out to me, and behold, a scroll of a book was in it, and he spread it before me, and it had writing on the front and on the back, and there were written on it words of lamentation, mourning, and woe." Every time God calls people to preach, and when I say preach, I'm not talking about here.

This is definitely part of it. You can't be in the law. You can't be a lawyer and not know the law.