back to index2022-04-03 Dianne Lee Baptism Testimony
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- Hi everyone, my name is Diane Lee and I'm a first year student at UC Irvine. 00:00:13.400 |
Growing up in a Korean Presbyterian church for the majority of my life, I was always 00:00:19.840 |
I collected biblical head knowledge, which was something I prided myself of as a young 00:00:24.680 |
However, I was not able to accept these biblical truths in my heart. 00:00:28.800 |
Although I never doubted God's existence or Christ's sacrifice that was mercifully gifted 00:00:32.520 |
to us, it never became a personal testament to my faith until much later in my life. 00:00:38.280 |
At the age of 12, during a junior high summer retreat, I experienced what I thought was 00:00:43.400 |
It was the first time my biblical head knowledge pierced my heart and allowed me to see what 00:00:48.000 |
it truly means to follow Jesus and live for his kingdom. 00:00:51.720 |
However, my emotion driven spiritual high died down as soon as we drove off from the 00:00:57.120 |
This pattern continued for the rest of my years in junior high and high school. 00:01:01.000 |
I saw my spiritual life in waves that would rise during and after a spiritual revival 00:01:05.720 |
and later die down during the stagnant periods of my life. 00:01:09.000 |
I was afraid to let go of my sinful desires because I was self driven and prideful in 00:01:17.240 |
In fact, I wanted to reap the benefits of salvation without dying to my worldly desires. 00:01:22.760 |
Despite my lack of true salvation, I was under the impression that I was truly saved because 00:01:27.060 |
of this, I made the choice to get baptized in ninth grade through the sprinkling of water, 00:01:31.440 |
motivated by my selfish desire to join an exclusive club of young baptized believers. 00:01:36.520 |
Even in my sprinkling baptism, I was driven by external motives and I lacked a true heart 00:01:41.360 |
During my senior year of high school, in the midst of the pandemic, I fell into a period 00:01:45.920 |
of depression that stemmed from the contentment I felt sitting in my sin. 00:01:49.920 |
At this point in my life, I pushed God away and placed my trust on the world rather than 00:01:55.360 |
I was a slave to sin, feeding into my own desires while still considering myself a believer 00:01:59.920 |
because I believe the events of the Bible to be true. 00:02:03.400 |
I try to fill the emptiness I felt with sinful pleasures and although only God can bring 00:02:07.280 |
true joy and fulfillment in my life, I had no real desire to turn to God nor put my trust 00:02:13.620 |
After all the time I spent constantly relying on the world, my older brother urged me to 00:02:17.640 |
read the book of Ecclesiastes as a reminder that the pleasures I find in the world are 00:02:21.520 |
fleeting and temporary, but God's promises are forever. 00:02:25.400 |
Ecclesiastes 2, 11 says, "Thus I considered all my activities which my hands had done 00:02:30.480 |
and the labor which I had exerted and behold all was vanity and striving after wind and 00:02:37.400 |
Through the book of Ecclesiastes, God convicted my heart and reminded me that my depression 00:02:42.120 |
stemmed from my desire to worship myself through what the world had to offer. 00:02:46.480 |
For the first time in my life, I understood the weight of God's promises and how they 00:02:50.160 |
are so much greater than the futile pleasures I had been pursuing for my entire life. 00:02:55.240 |
Coming into college, God continued to reveal his glory to me and ultimately led me to a 00:02:59.280 |
church that would grow my faith and give me a solid foundation of the word. 00:03:03.160 |
I came to Berean by mere chance when a mutual on Instagram recommended me to come to Berean's 00:03:09.520 |
God led me to Berean in the strangest way and continued to get me plugged into the church 00:03:14.120 |
Towards the beginning of my first winter quarter, I felt a deep need to examine my heart and 00:03:20.760 |
I realized how much of my life had been displeasing to God and how much I went to church for my 00:03:27.240 |
Although my head knowledge of the Bible led me to think that I had salvation, I couldn't 00:03:30.960 |
let go of my worldly desires and try to love both God and the world thinking that I can 00:03:34.800 |
enjoy the pleasures of both, although God's promises truly outweigh the world's. 00:03:39.120 |
I became a true believer at this time when I truly died to my worldly desires and offered 00:03:43.260 |
up my whole life, not just part of it, to Christ. 00:03:46.720 |
By his grace, God planted this conviction in me after 19 years of being a superficial 00:03:53.320 |
The spirit has allowed me to see the weight of my sin and how it isn't possible to love 00:03:59.200 |
As a sinner, through the resurrection of Christ on the cross and the atonement for sin, I 00:04:03.360 |
am truly able to come before God as his child. 00:04:06.400 |
Ultimately, as a true believer, I now live not to fulfill my own desires, but I live 00:04:10.680 |
to glorify God in all that I do, for his promises are eternal and much greater than anything 00:04:20.440 |
>> And you understand when you go into the water, you're in the United States, right?