back to index2022-01-30 Tiffany Pham Baptism Testimony
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My name is Tiffany and it's a privilege to stand before all of you this morning and share 00:00:11.800 |
The unfolding of my testimony isn't linear, but looking back, God was working in every 00:00:18.000 |
And by God's grace, he radically transformed my heart, mind, and soul. 00:00:22.360 |
He took my heart of stone and gave me a new heart of flesh. 00:00:26.680 |
Total death reigned in my body and even when I believed, I was saved, but his relentless 00:00:30.960 |
love was greater than any chains of sin that held me down. 00:00:34.560 |
I acknowledge that God's gift of grace through faith saved me and although it took time, 00:00:39.120 |
he allowed me to see my depravity leading me to repentance. 00:00:42.640 |
I am nothing without Christ and even when I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. 00:00:47.160 |
His love is more than I could ever comprehend. 00:00:49.760 |
Because of God's saving grace and redemptive work, I was made spiritually alive by grace 00:00:56.640 |
Although I grew up in a practicing Buddhist family, my parents put me in a Lutheran school 00:01:00.960 |
from preschool until fifth grade, which marked my very first exposure to God. 00:01:05.720 |
Growing up in a Buddhist household made it difficult to explore God to the extent that 00:01:10.760 |
I desired, but by God's sovereign guidance, I was introduced to a handful of brothers 00:01:18.240 |
and sisters in Christ later in my life who helped foster the character I exhibit today. 00:01:24.920 |
As a response to their financial struggle, my parents pulled me out of Red Hill Lutheran 00:01:28.480 |
and I later found myself attending my local public school. 00:01:31.920 |
At this time, my character began to shift from a diligent and humble student to a boastful 00:01:39.200 |
During my rebellion stage, I would partake in illegal drugs and alcohol even during school 00:01:44.000 |
hours and the lack of respect I had for my teachers and parents increased. 00:01:48.600 |
On top of that, I chose to spend time around the wrong crowds, shoplifted when I had the 00:01:55.720 |
However, there was a huge lack of remorse during this time and I found my life continuing 00:02:03.560 |
There was a thrill in engaging in these activities and I never considered the consequences or 00:02:07.520 |
recognized that I was sitting against a holy God. 00:02:10.600 |
Looking back, the most absurd part is that it was all exhilarating to me and I never 00:02:17.840 |
Shortly after, I fell into a state of severe depression that took control of my life. 00:02:23.640 |
I felt an overwhelming weight of darkness that resulted from a lack of identity. 00:02:28.080 |
I didn't know who I was anymore and I didn't know how to respond. 00:02:31.800 |
I sought professional counsel only to end up with a literal pill of a band-aid solution. 00:02:37.200 |
Over time, I felt like I was drowning and often found myself contemplating life and 00:02:44.960 |
My appetite for apathy continued to grow and this led to multiple attempts of suicide as 00:02:53.000 |
During my freshman year in college, I continued to be negligent in the way I studied and the 00:02:59.000 |
Several events transpired not too long after that caused me to disregard pretty much everything. 00:03:03.320 |
Every day became a mindless passing that had no meaning and I no longer wanted to be a 00:03:09.680 |
I was burdened by the guilt and shame that I felt during this time from being suspended 00:03:13.440 |
from a prestigious university to feeling like a disappointment of a child and I filled this 00:03:21.040 |
Amidst the darkest seasons of my life, I was invited by a friend to a church she had been 00:03:26.200 |
Attending that service felt like a breath of fresh air after drowning in sin for the 00:03:31.760 |
I remember bursting into tears after experiencing what it meant to find peace, have hope, and 00:03:37.440 |
Though I was introduced to this newfound hope, I felt myself clinging to the world and everything 00:03:42.960 |
I felt almost comfortable in the darkness I was in even though a small part of me knew 00:03:50.040 |
Unfortunately, this wasn't a truth I had yet accepted and the way I lived outside of 00:03:56.940 |
In May of 2019, I became a part of a church where I would find myself playing Christian. 00:04:02.080 |
I got involved in things like baptism and several church events only to find myself 00:04:06.640 |
with temporary solutions to an otherwise eternal suffering. 00:04:12.000 |
While I was more disciplined to control my behaviors and act like a Christian, everything 00:04:16.040 |
I did was for my own self-righteousness and inside was still a heart that thrived on sin. 00:04:20.840 |
I had terrible issues of personal integrity and I concealed deep anger and resentment 00:04:26.280 |
I identified as a Christian but I was an unrepentant sinner. 00:04:29.840 |
The pandemic was life-changing for me in more ways than one. 00:04:32.760 |
I felt this desire to dive deeper in the word of God and it was a time where I was reintroduced 00:04:38.680 |
to the entirety of the gospel as opposed to the small out of context verses I would see 00:04:45.360 |
I was introspective in the way that I was living as a Christian and questioned my salvation. 00:04:49.920 |
I was reluctant during this time in believing in the God I had just rediscovered but I was 00:04:58.280 |
Several YouTube sermons and one American gospel stream later, God opened my eyes and allowed 00:05:02.520 |
me to recognize that my transformation was not something I had any part in. 00:05:07.780 |
It was foolish and prideful of me to believe that I, a wretched and broken sinner, chose 00:05:11.960 |
Jesus when in reality it was entirely the work of the Spirit and His loving kindness 00:05:17.360 |
and amazing grace that gave me the gift of repentance. 00:05:22.680 |
My life would have been completely different and I wouldn't be here before all of you 00:05:27.880 |
I am grateful that in Ezekiel 36, 26, God gives us a new heart of flesh where we can 00:05:32.640 |
say no to sin and yes to His grace and mercies. 00:05:36.360 |
Not only did He choose me, it was also Him who regenerated me, blessed me with faith, 00:05:41.040 |
justified me, sanctified me, and on top of that, adopted me as His own and promised to 00:05:46.400 |
I know that sanctification is a lifelong process and words will never express how grateful 00:05:55.560 |
By God's grace, He radically transformed the desires of my heart and brought me from 00:05:59.680 |
death to life, from sin to righteousness, from broken to made new. 00:06:03.640 |
I have hope that there is an eternal peace far greater than the fleeting pleasures that 00:06:08.600 |
life offers, freedom from sin that I was bound by during the years leading up to this moment, 00:06:13.960 |
and gratefulness for our Heavenly Father so beyond gracious that He would choose me as 00:06:18.000 |
His own when I could not find a single redeemable quality within myself. 00:06:23.120 |
In Galatians 2, 20, I am reminded that I am crucified with Christ. 00:06:26.720 |
It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. 00:06:30.520 |
In the life which I now live, in the flesh I live in faith, the faith of the Son of God 00:06:37.680 |
My identity is in Christ alone and my soul rests and greatly rejoices in that truth. 00:06:44.480 |
His truth is the cornerstone of my life and despite the trials and tribulations in my 00:06:48.520 |
life, my hope is secured in Christ who is the author and finisher of my faith.