back to index2018-01-20 Anger Management
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Why don't we pray and then we'll get into the Word. 00:00:08.320 |
Lord, we thank you for the freedom to worship you this morning. 00:00:15.560 |
And we thank you for just allowing us to learn and to hear and receive your Word. 00:00:24.680 |
We pray, Father, that as we hear, God, you would, by the power of your Spirit, etch the 00:00:30.300 |
words into the fabric of our hearts so that we will leave here resembling Jesus a little 00:00:37.240 |
bit more and shining our light a little bit brighter and being a little bit more salty 00:00:44.320 |
So we pray for your help for us to be spiritually alert, awake, and sober as we hear your Word. 00:00:57.480 |
When I go on a double date with my wife, I'm with a couple who's been married for some 00:01:03.280 |
One of the questions that I like to ask is, "What are you like when you get into an argument 00:01:09.760 |
I ask that question because it helps to get to know the people as individuals a little 00:01:16.880 |
And usually when the answers come, the answer to the question is just usually lighthearted 00:01:25.160 |
And we usually end up having a good chuckle because the stories that are shared are definitely 00:01:32.800 |
And if you've been married for any length of time, you are fully aware that it's not 00:01:37.040 |
about if you fight, but rather how you fight that determines the health of your marriage. 00:01:44.460 |
So answers to the question, "What are you like when you get into an argument or a fight?" 00:01:56.780 |
You have your passive aggressive powders who say, "Fine." 00:02:03.420 |
You have those who quietly just seethe and shut down on you. 00:02:17.160 |
And I'm sure you and I know people in our workplaces, our schools, and members of our 00:02:21.160 |
family who deal with conflict in varying other ways. 00:02:25.840 |
Some people try and escape, whether it be through entertainment or even shopping sprees. 00:02:34.000 |
Some people react when they're aroused to profanity-laced tirades. 00:02:40.740 |
Some slander or gossip whoever has offended them. 00:02:49.360 |
And some even physically attack whoever is angering or upsetting them. 00:02:56.200 |
I want to pose a question pertaining to the relationship between anger and our circumstances. 00:03:03.840 |
Do negative circumstances cause anger or do they simply expose the anger that already 00:03:14.120 |
Again, do negative circumstances cause anger or do they simply expose the anger that already 00:03:25.520 |
In other words, are you and I emotionally neutral until something stimulates or arouses 00:03:32.920 |
Or is anger already there, laying dormant in our hearts? 00:03:37.360 |
And the negative situations simply give our anger an opportunity to expose itself. 00:03:43.940 |
It may very well be a combination of both, but I do like to use the analogy of a sponge 00:03:56.440 |
You don't really see what's on the inside of the heart until you give it a little squeeze. 00:04:03.080 |
I want to draw our attention back to the passage, and it would help you to just keep your Bible 00:04:08.240 |
open to James chapter 1 because we're going to be jumping in and out of the different 00:04:12.600 |
verses in that passage, but let's read 1.6 to 22 again. 00:04:18.200 |
It's up on this slide, but I do encourage you guys to follow along in your Bibles. 00:04:28.160 |
Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father 00:04:31.800 |
of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. 00:04:37.760 |
In the exercise of his will, he brought us forth by the word of truth so that we would 00:04:41.260 |
be a kind of first fruits among his creatures. 00:04:45.060 |
This you know, my beloved brethren, that but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, 00:04:49.400 |
and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. 00:04:55.640 |
Therefore putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility 00:04:59.480 |
receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls. 00:05:03.660 |
But prove yourselves doers of the word and not merely hearers who delude themselves. 00:05:08.960 |
And I'm going to read verse 19 to 20 just one more time. 00:05:12.440 |
This you know, my beloved brethren, that but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, 00:05:16.680 |
and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. 00:05:27.320 |
And we often think that only those who have explosive tempers have anger issues, but the 00:05:33.080 |
emotion of anger is expressed by different people in differing ways. 00:05:39.480 |
And oftentimes when we discuss anger in the church, in our Bible studies, in discussions 00:05:45.600 |
on like interpersonal conflicts when you're counseling, or we talk to people who have 00:06:03.680 |
In fact, one of the parents of the children at our church just told me that she quoted 00:06:08.280 |
James 119 to her daughter just a couple days ago. 00:06:13.780 |
And I've heard people elaborate on this and say things like, "God gave you two ears and 00:06:19.320 |
one mouth, so listen twice as much as you speak." 00:06:25.460 |
And the book of James is often called the Proverbs of the New Testament, and there definitely 00:06:29.560 |
are things in this epistle that give us insight into how God would desire for his people to 00:06:37.400 |
But is James 119 a verse that gives wisdom and speaks into our interpersonal relationships? 00:06:46.080 |
Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man does 00:06:54.520 |
If you look at the context of the verses surrounding James 119, you'll discover that James is not 00:07:05.880 |
In James 119 to 20, James is addressing the issue of anger that grows in our hearts toward 00:07:12.760 |
God, especially when we face trials and painful circumstances. 00:07:19.880 |
He is speaking about the anger that wells up in our hearts when we instinctively or 00:07:24.960 |
innately feel that God is being unfair, unjust, or unkind, or when we do not agree with or 00:07:31.920 |
understand the way of God in a particular moment or circumstance. 00:07:37.080 |
So in context, the whole book of James, all 108 verses, these are the only two verses 00:07:48.920 |
So contextually, you want to ask the question, what exactly is James advising here when he 00:07:55.720 |
tells us to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger? 00:08:01.560 |
Because if you want to apply James 119 to human relationships, then the conclusion you 00:08:07.160 |
almost have to draw from verse 20 is, hey, a good handle on your temper can achieve the 00:08:16.540 |
Are you guys following that logical conclusion? 00:08:19.760 |
If you apply this to human relationships, you almost have to conclude a good handle 00:08:24.920 |
on your temper can achieve the righteousness of God. 00:08:33.080 |
So inasmuch as people have differing ways of expressing their anger when they fight 00:08:37.080 |
with those closest to them, each of us may have a differing way of expressing our anger 00:08:47.520 |
So as you guys well know, at the fall, humanity became cursed with an innate hostility and 00:08:57.720 |
And at birth, every single person enters a world broken, corrupted, and flawed. 00:09:06.480 |
And there is in your hearts and there is in mine a natural distrust and fear of God. 00:09:19.280 |
And our perception of right/wrong, just/unjust, is definitely skewed. 00:09:28.800 |
And in our fallen and corrupted states, we cannot but see through sin-tainted, sin-colored, 00:09:52.960 |
Our children's ministry, actually, they memorize this verse. 00:09:56.240 |
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my 00:10:07.840 |
Because God is saying that His wisdom and His ways are not just superior a little bit, 00:10:16.160 |
or just maybe at a little bit of a different level than ours. 00:10:20.480 |
What He is saying is, "My ways and my thoughts are infinitely different from yours, and they're 00:10:33.160 |
So that is actually very offensive if you meditate on that in your natural self. 00:10:41.080 |
So though it isn't necessarily unbiblical to say that we need to be quick to listen 00:10:45.160 |
to one another, slow to speak when others are expressing themselves, and slow to anger 00:10:57.880 |
That is not James' point here in this passage. 00:11:04.880 |
James 1:19-20, these two verses are addressing how we as the people of God are to be one, 00:11:17.080 |
Two, just be slow to speak foolish things in times of weakness about God, such as, "God 00:11:35.240 |
He allowed for this circumstance to happen because His will is perfect. 00:11:46.080 |
And third, be slow to anger towards God, is what James says. 00:11:53.780 |
So yes, be quick to hear, but if you just look down two verses later, he says, "Don't 00:12:06.080 |
"Don't just hear the Word of God and be quick to listen to what God has to say, do 00:12:13.840 |
it," is what it just says in context of this passage. 00:12:20.760 |
Some of you guys are like, "Okay, that's not the sermon that I've heard before." 00:12:23.600 |
So just let's go through this passage together. 00:12:26.040 |
Verse 19 starts with, "This you know, my beloved brethren." 00:12:32.020 |
So I want to look at what is the "this" that these brethren know. 00:12:41.240 |
And I've made a list for you on this next slide. 00:12:52.520 |
They perfect us as we respond in wisdom, verses 2-8. 00:12:59.080 |
And then, trials level the playing field for all people, verses 1, or chapter 1, 9-11. 00:13:06.320 |
Whether you're rich or poor, if your child is struck with a disease, you are in complete 00:13:17.840 |
If your child has an issue you can't solve, you cannot throw any amount of money at it. 00:13:29.160 |
Third, trials though, when we persevere through them, result in blessing, verse 12. 00:13:36.720 |
Verses 13-17, God the Father of Lights is both the ordainer of trials and paradoxically, 00:13:49.920 |
And fifth, God the Father of Lights created us, and his desire for us is to reflect his 00:14:02.920 |
So these are truths that you and I also know. 00:14:07.100 |
But often in our weakness and in our taintedness, these truths leave us feeling perhaps a little 00:14:13.120 |
anxious and maybe even a little offended by God. 00:14:18.680 |
So we don't quite understand how to reconcile the fact that God is both love and he allows 00:14:29.840 |
So theologically we trust that God's will is perfect, that he makes no mistakes. 00:14:35.400 |
We theologically trust that God is good, but then when something comes out of nowhere to 00:14:42.400 |
ruin our world, we ask how can he in his goodness and perfection allow us to suffer such heartache 00:14:55.760 |
So he ordains circumstances in our lives that apply a very hard squeeze. 00:15:04.600 |
And it sometimes is only natural that we respond in a degree of anger. 00:15:23.440 |
Job responded with a degree of anger when he suffered. 00:15:27.120 |
He just didn't sin in what he said, and he didn't blame God, Job 122. 00:15:33.400 |
Jonah the prophet went as far to say twice in Jonah chapter 4, I am angry enough to die, 00:15:43.580 |
And if you actually don't know the context, it's almost comical because I am so mad. 00:15:50.960 |
Because you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger, abounding in love. 00:15:56.080 |
It's almost comical, but he is mad at the fact that God is extending an invitation to 00:16:01.720 |
repentance to a wicked people, and his skewed sense of justice has been offended. 00:16:16.120 |
Ephesians 4.26 says, "Be angry and yet do not sin." 00:16:24.840 |
Because that, so it's out of Psalms chapter 4. 00:16:38.040 |
Trials come, they're from God, and God is good. 00:16:47.760 |
Trials come, and they're from God, and God is good. 00:16:56.240 |
What purpose do these trials serve in our lives? 00:16:59.400 |
We also see the answers to this question in both the immediate context of chapter 1, and 00:17:04.520 |
then the broader context of James' epistle, and I've listed them for you here. 00:17:09.840 |
The first one is to wean us off of this world. 00:17:17.600 |
And it'll say in James 1.25 and in chapter 2, "So that we have liberty." 00:17:25.640 |
We are slaves to this world, so when trials come, it weans us off it. 00:17:29.400 |
We get distaste, we get a little bit offended by it, and we experience a little joy of freedom. 00:17:37.200 |
Second, it's to expose our sin, to discipline, and to humble us. 00:17:45.080 |
Trials expose our sin, they discipline, and they humble us. 00:17:48.960 |
Proverbs 3, 11 to 12 reads, "My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe 00:17:55.720 |
For whom the Lord loves, he reproves, even as a father corrects a son in whom he delights." 00:17:59.960 |
Hebrews also has something similar, chapter 12, verses 9 through 10. 00:18:04.400 |
"Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them. 00:18:09.200 |
Shall we not much rather be subject to the father of spirits and live? 00:18:13.080 |
For they disciplined us for a short time, as seemed best to them, but he, God, disciplines 00:18:19.320 |
for our good, so that we may share in his holiness." 00:18:22.280 |
And it goes on to say, "Discipline is not pleasant, it's painful. 00:18:27.800 |
But they come to expose our sin, to train us, and to humiliate us, sorry, humble us." 00:19:01.280 |
And the only way to clean a sponge is to squeeze. 00:19:16.920 |
Charles Spurgeon once wrote, "Trials teach us what we are. 00:19:21.000 |
They dig up the soil and let us see what we are made of, and usually it's not good." 00:19:26.680 |
So trials expose the ugliness and hostility that is hidden deeply in our hearts, and they 00:19:32.580 |
show us that we cannot save ourselves, and that we need saving, because we are utterly 00:19:48.680 |
We don't like being exposed in our sins, but sometimes the squeezes come, and they shock 00:20:02.920 |
Third, trials come to serve as a testimony of God to the world. 00:20:15.840 |
In James 1.18, we read that God's desire was that His people would be a kind of firstfruits 00:20:26.920 |
And our innate human anger does not help us to heed the call to be firstfruits. 00:20:39.840 |
It's all over the Old Testament, but to put it simply, a firstfruit is this, the first 00:20:44.920 |
and very best of offerings to be reserved and presented to God. 00:20:51.400 |
The firstfruits are the first and very best of offerings to be reserved for and presented 00:20:56.900 |
And when Hebrew Jewish men would offer their offerings, a lot of times they had their kids 00:21:04.080 |
This beautiful, stainless, spotless fruit is devoted to the Lord." 00:21:12.160 |
That is our purpose, to be set apart to the pleasure of God. 00:21:27.680 |
So I said, the third reason is to serve as a testimony of God to the world. 00:21:33.720 |
The world watches and observes you as you suffer, as you endure. 00:21:40.880 |
So when trials come into our lives, we need to be acutely aware that the world is watching 00:21:47.840 |
to see how real our faith is and how truly real our God is in our lives. 00:21:54.480 |
When persecution, suffering, and death come into your life, the world is observing you 00:22:02.600 |
to see if you really believe what you say you believe. 00:22:14.480 |
Have you or someone you know been diagnosed with a terminal cancer or some major debilitating 00:22:25.280 |
They're not reading a theology book, they're reading your life. 00:22:28.600 |
But are you raising a child maybe with special needs? 00:22:36.520 |
In the womb, you are told there is a child that might be born with special needs. 00:22:44.320 |
Are you facing a major crisis and are you tempted to compromise your principles? 00:22:52.160 |
Are you unfairly treated, persecuted, and hated? 00:22:58.720 |
It says, again in 1 Peter, don't fight fire with fire because the world is watching. 00:23:08.160 |
And this is near and dear to my heart because I'm a single pastor. 00:23:15.400 |
What is your attitude like about life and about singleness? 00:23:21.400 |
The world is listening, observing, and watching. 00:23:34.160 |
Do you work under or work with very difficult people? 00:23:38.080 |
Again, they may be provoking you, but they're also watching you. 00:23:44.600 |
You are being watched and God wants them to watch you. 00:23:52.700 |
God wants this blind and decaying world to see the brightness of your light and taste 00:24:05.300 |
The world around you is watching and listening to everything you have to say because that's 00:24:10.560 |
their Bible that illustrates what God is like. 00:24:18.900 |
Verse 19 to 20, this you know my beloved brethren, but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to 00:24:25.240 |
speak, slow to anger for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. 00:24:31.520 |
So then the question, how then are we to respond when we face these trials? 00:24:37.400 |
If anger is an innate emotion, how do we respond when God ordains suffering? 00:24:47.840 |
How do we manage this anger, hence the title, anger management? 00:24:55.440 |
And then verse 21, we get our very first therefore in the book of James. 00:24:58.800 |
And if you guys study any language, the word therefore is important. 00:25:03.920 |
You always have to ask, what is this therefore therefore? 00:25:07.640 |
And usually a therefore is a bridge to show a connection between what has just been said 00:25:18.320 |
Therefore is a bridge of what has just been said to the expected or appropriate application 00:25:26.880 |
Therefore, you know all this stuff, therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that 00:25:36.080 |
remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted which is able to save your 00:25:43.960 |
Upprove yourselves, doers of the word and not merely hearers who delude or deceive themselves. 00:26:00.520 |
What's the first therefore and what's the application? 00:26:02.760 |
He says in chapter 1 verse 21, first we are to continue in holy, untainted living. 00:26:14.520 |
We are to continue in holy and untainted living. 00:26:19.560 |
The idea of separation from the world of holy undefiled living is brought up several times 00:26:31.240 |
James 1 27 is often quoted about how the church needs to champion the cause of orphans and 00:26:49.840 |
Yes, pure and undefiled religion is to visit orphans and widows and to be unstained. 00:27:08.440 |
We are more likely to respond to trials in our flesh, in our sin, when we are constantly 00:27:21.280 |
We are more likely to respond to the trials in our fleshly reaction when we are constantly 00:27:31.840 |
So here is an admonition that you can draw from the text. 00:27:34.900 |
The more you befriend the world, later in chapter 4 verse 4 he's going to say that's 00:27:39.560 |
The more you befriend the world, the less you will care about holiness, the less you 00:27:45.760 |
will care about the Bible, the less you will care about widows, the less you will care 00:27:52.420 |
You may find it trendy to get the likes on Facebook, but the less you will care about 00:27:56.440 |
that from your heart, and the less you will care about the dying world around you, the 00:28:02.880 |
So for a Christian, God wants to snap you out of that. 00:28:13.800 |
And he sends a trial to remind us that we are supposed to respond in holiness. 00:28:17.520 |
So when trials come, you are supposed to hunker down and pursue holy living. 00:28:26.160 |
Respond in the ways that the Bible prescribes. 00:28:30.160 |
And remember the more you give your attention to the things of the world, the less you will 00:28:33.680 |
be able to discern God's will, God's heart, God's voice, and the more susceptible you 00:28:39.920 |
will be to be slow to hear, quick to speak, and quick to anger, the more you indulge the 00:28:55.080 |
First of all, this is, the definition of humility is a little bit interesting, but this one 00:29:06.100 |
This is an important theme all over scripture. 00:29:10.560 |
Is humility one of the hallmarks of a Christian? 00:29:21.840 |
Do you chant some magical formula to humble yourselves? 00:29:34.440 |
This is an important question because it's emphasized not just here in verse 21, but 00:29:43.320 |
In order to answer this question, I'm going to first share with you what humility is not. 00:29:47.640 |
First one, it's not an external show or pretense of piety. 00:29:54.640 |
It's not an external show or pretense of piety. 00:30:07.040 |
In verse 16, Jesus says, "Don't be like the hypocrites. 00:30:10.920 |
When they fast, they're like, 'Oh, I'm starving,' and then they're like looking like they're 00:30:19.040 |
Don't make it obvious to people that you are fasting before the Lord." 00:30:22.800 |
So it's not an external show or pretense of piety. 00:30:27.560 |
Second, it is not an inferiority complex or an insecurity. 00:30:42.960 |
Moses, who was called the most humble man on the planet by God himself at the burning 00:30:48.080 |
bush, was not humble because God doesn't rage against a humble man. 00:30:57.560 |
And at the burning bush, Moses, Acts 7, 22, Moses was trained up in all the wisdom of 00:31:02.680 |
Egypt and he was powerful in speech and in action, Stephen said in his speech. 00:31:08.040 |
But you know what happens when you don't use something for 40 years? 00:31:12.040 |
For 40 years, he was just like, he's just hitting the animals and that's it. 00:31:18.760 |
So he's thinking, "Dude, you should have sent me 40 years ago when I was at the top of my 00:31:30.280 |
Inferiority complex is wounded pride and that is not humility. 00:31:33.040 |
And the third one is not cowardice, it's not passivity, it's not a quiet personality. 00:31:38.160 |
Some of the most arrogant people I know pretend to be quiet. 00:31:50.680 |
So loud people, they may be annoying, but that's not necessarily arrogance, okay? 00:32:09.160 |
So bold that he told the king, "Hey, that's adultery and that is sin." 00:32:17.480 |
David, he looks at Goliath, he's like, "How dare this uncircumcised Philistine speak against 00:32:23.560 |
And you know his brothers actually called him arrogant at that moment. 00:32:27.080 |
David's not arrogant, he was humble before God. 00:32:29.440 |
Moses, when he leads Israel through the wilderness, he's always angry. 00:32:37.920 |
And you see it when Miriam and Aaron say, "Does God speak to you only?" 00:32:42.600 |
Moses is like offended a little bit, but he responds in humility. 00:32:46.480 |
God strikes him with leprosy, what does he say? 00:32:59.280 |
So humility is not an external show, an inferiority complex or insecurity, cowardice. 00:33:05.720 |
If you are told to be humble, humble yourself before the Lord, if you take it incorrectly, 00:33:11.360 |
you're going to end up defaulting one of these three. 00:33:20.960 |
Now that doesn't mean you're humble, you're like excited, you're like, "Oh, if I only 00:33:32.420 |
It is the attitude that results from God being elevated to his rightful place in our lives. 00:33:44.040 |
The attitude that results from God being elevated to his rightful place in our lives. 00:33:49.920 |
If God truly and rightfully is God in our lives, we will respond appropriately and we 00:34:05.360 |
There's a quote by a man named W. Glyn Evans. 00:34:08.480 |
He says this, "I will not demand that God explain himself to me at any time, but this 00:34:22.720 |
I must be willing to let God be unreasonable in my view because he is not concerned with 00:34:32.000 |
The unregenerate man sees contradiction in the world and demands that God justify himself 00:34:36.360 |
before him, but the believing man makes no such demand but believes God supremely. 00:34:45.880 |
So what is the appropriate response to the trials in our lives? 00:34:49.120 |
One, we mentioned before, to continue in holy and untainted living. 00:34:53.320 |
Two, to be humble before God, having him elevated as Lord of my life and not just my get out 00:35:04.280 |
Every thought, attitude under the submission to the authority of God. 00:35:09.440 |
Third, to be quick to receive, hear, obsess over, and do the Word of God. 00:35:15.560 |
James 1.25 reads, "But the one who looks intently, obsesses over, stares at, scrutinizes 00:35:24.720 |
the law of liberty, and tabernacles there, abides in it, remains in it, he will be blessed 00:35:33.920 |
in all that he does because he is not someone who hears and forgets, he's a doer." 00:35:43.560 |
So the application here is, James says, study God's Word, obsess over it, scrutinize it, 00:35:52.400 |
not to just glance at it on your daily devotions, but to obsess over it. 00:35:59.320 |
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way 00:36:02.320 |
of sinners, or sin in the seat of mockers, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, 00:36:05.520 |
and on his law he meditates on it day and night. 00:36:10.760 |
All hours of the day his mind is on God's Word. 00:36:18.200 |
John 8.31, Jesus says to those Jews believing in him, "If you remain in my words, if you 00:36:25.600 |
abide, if you tabernacle in my words, you are truly my disciples, and you will know 00:36:43.520 |
This is not in James, this is just, I think, the whole of Scripture. 00:36:51.280 |
When a difficult trial hits your life, fix your eyes on Jesus. 00:37:01.120 |
Hebrews 12.3 reads, "For consider him who had endured such hostility by sinners against 00:37:10.080 |
"So that you will not grow weary or lose heart." 00:37:13.880 |
That starts the whole section on how a father disciplines a son he loves. 00:37:22.880 |
Fix your eyes on Jesus, cry out, "Hallelujah!" 00:37:31.080 |
And praise him in difficult circumstances, because he's risen, and one day, "This 00:37:44.040 |
He's defeated and conquered sin, and his resurrection proves that. 00:37:52.880 |
Fix your eyes on Jesus, praise him, and then wait. 00:37:58.480 |
And that third one's hard, because that waiting could be a week, it could be 20 years. 00:38:07.360 |
And I'm going to wrap up with a little bit of a, like, I'm going to expose the sin in 00:38:15.960 |
So some of you guys know, and I shared this before in a sermon, maybe last summer, but 00:38:23.760 |
I grew up under a very difficult father to live with. 00:38:28.520 |
Three divorces, different addictions, very irresponsible humanly and in human standards. 00:38:34.840 |
And I prayed a lot for him when I became saved in high school. 00:38:39.340 |
And I gave up in college, because I was just so discouraged, and I don't want to pray for 00:38:45.360 |
And 20 years later, 2014, and I thought by then, you know, so I've become friendlier 00:38:53.480 |
with my dad, just kind of sweep issues under the rug, because you know, no water under 00:38:59.960 |
So I had thought I had dealt with different emotions and bitterness and rage and anger, 00:39:04.720 |
because the Bible says, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger." 00:39:08.960 |
I was like, "Okay, I got to have a good attitude toward my father." 00:39:12.400 |
So in 2014, I was in Korea, that was our third year there, and I got a phone call saying 00:39:18.720 |
that he got diagnosed with colon cancer, stage 3B. 00:39:22.580 |
He had surgery, and then we arranged it, and I took a seven-week leave of absence, and 00:39:26.400 |
I flew to America to try to take care of him, because he had three divorces, so he was living 00:39:31.740 |
So by that point, six years of living by himself, there's no one to take care of him. 00:39:38.460 |
But 40 years of irresponsible living doesn't go away overnight. 00:39:46.400 |
He refused to get any kind of treatment, any kind of chemotherapy, because even though 00:39:50.080 |
he had surgery, the scans showed that it had spread. 00:39:58.280 |
I said, "Dad, I'm just going to go back to Korea. 00:40:01.160 |
And I was just so frustrated, because I was spending all of the waking hours of my day 00:40:05.640 |
trying to find him senior homes, but then he had to sign off on it, try to find him 00:40:13.120 |
And then, because of jet lag and because of anger, just in the middle of the night, maybe 00:40:22.080 |
First thought I had was, "You know, it'd be nice if he just died." 00:40:36.840 |
I was so frustrated, I wished my own dad dead. 00:40:42.680 |
It was like three in the morning, and I was like, "Praying God, I am a sinner." 00:40:53.160 |
I travel the world speaking toward reconciliation, taking care of children, and I'm here thinking 00:41:02.520 |
that it'd be nice if he just made me less uncomfortable and was no longer a distraction 00:41:11.120 |
That squeeze brought out that emotion, and I prayed. 00:41:16.980 |
And then I called my wife, because she was in Korea, and it was evening time, and I confessed 00:41:20.440 |
to her, and she said, "I thought a similar thought." 00:41:32.440 |
And to this day, I don't believe that that was a sin I committed against God. 00:41:36.520 |
That was a temptation, because I immediately sought God's help. 00:41:43.000 |
What that did do, that exposed the anger, the bitterness that I just tried to mask. 00:42:10.160 |
But just a couple months later, we've been praying for babies for so long, and then I 00:42:14.760 |
got to make a phone call to my dad saying, "Hey, you're going to be a grandpa." 00:42:26.400 |
He's like, "No, I'm not qualified to name them. 00:42:43.440 |
So he came up with two Korean names for them. 00:42:47.120 |
The first one for our daughter was, in Korean, is Chu-hyang, which means fragrance or aroma 00:42:54.360 |
The second one, our son, he named him Chu-won, which in Korean is translated, hope in Christ. 00:43:06.920 |
He's still like being a 70-year-old kid, roofing. 00:43:25.400 |
But I've learned to love him because I was squose. 00:43:31.240 |
Because that was revealed in my heart, I asked God to help, and we waited. 00:43:55.860 |
They're used to sanctify us, to prune us, to wean us off the world, to serve as a testimony 00:44:05.340 |
But the funny thing is, those prayers I prayed as a high school kid got answered 20 years 00:44:10.080 |
later through cancer and was healed by what I believe, the arrival of grandkids. 00:44:17.660 |
After eight years of just struggle on our end, wait. 00:44:26.500 |
When a really difficult trial hits, fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of 00:44:34.380 |
your faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, born into the shame. 00:44:39.780 |
Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful man so that you do not grow weary of 00:44:59.820 |
Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. 00:45:12.380 |
For the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God, but faith in his atoning 00:45:20.540 |
sacrifice, life, death, and resurrection brought me to Christ. 00:45:29.520 |
And I am righteous before him because of my faith in Christ. 00:45:40.020 |
My encouragement is simply to be quick to hear, quick to obsess over his word. 00:45:54.700 |
Wean yourself off this world if you can and watch the world. 00:46:09.660 |
That's what it says in both Matthew 5 and 1 Peter 2. 00:46:19.500 |
Father, help us to manage our holy anger, manage our unrighteous anger in a way that 00:46:30.340 |
is appropriate for a saint purchased by the blood of Christ. 00:46:38.420 |
Help us to be humble through your exaltation in our lives.