All right. Gentlemen, just to let the ladies know that you not are short forgetters, we're going to go back and do a really quick little quiz real quickly right to get this started, and then we're going to talk to the ladies. This is where the men usually take a lot of copious notes as the women's role.

But all right, three things you got to remember in order to be a godly husband. Are you ready? You got to be a learner, lover, leader. There we go. Those three things are really key. Now, really, I want you to take those and stick those in the back pocket of your memory, and think about those, pull those out every now and then, say, "How am I doing?

What's really going on now?" Let me talk to the wives at this particular point. Remember how we said in Genesis chapter 3 and verse 16, when God gave the curse, one of the main things that occurred there, her desire will be to control and manipulate her husband, his desire will be to rule over her, is the idea.

So now, marriage becomes a game of King of the Hill. Now, it becomes the battleground of the sexes in this particular case, and it's really practicing godly roles, Christ-like roles that change and make the difference. This is really critical. So what does God say in relationship to his design for women?

What is his design for women and what should it be? This is an illustration of what some women really think of their husbands. Says, "Now, when we last met, I asked each of you to bring a list of things, the counselor says that your spouse does that really annoy you." Now, notice how he has a little posty note, and she has a whole stack of papers there.

Now, the reason why I put that up there is because this is a true story. Back several years ago, I had a couple, they'd been married for about 25 years. They were having some pretty serious marital problems. They came into counseling. I never knew them, never met them before.

I had prayer with them, and as soon as I said amen on the prayer, I looked up and I said, "What seems to be the problem?" The wife reached into a cloth bag that she had, and she pulled out a ream of paper and laid it in front of me.

I started sifting through the paper, and here typed out single space was every wrong thing that her husband had ever done. She had kept record for 25 years, and she pointed to it, and she said to me, "This is the reason we're having problems." I thumbed through it a little bit, and I looked at her and I said, "You're right.

This is the reason you're having problems." But I didn't mean it the same way as she did. I said to her, "Do you claim to love your husband?" She said, "Well, yes. I love my husband." I said, "Would it surprise you to know that the Bible says that you don't love him at all?

What are you talking about? How can you say you don't know me? How can you say that?" That's right. I don't know you, but the Bible says that you don't. You can't say that. Where does the Bible say that? First Corinthians 13 says, "Love keeps no record of wrongs." Love keeps no record of wrongs.

Really? Here's 25 years worth. I still have that ream in my file. Don't have that. So what's going on? What's really happened here? Well, it's pretty obvious that there are a lot of women who are very unhappy in marriage. There are many unhappy and discontent wives out there, not because they cannot find happiness and contentment, but because they've not known how or even tried to do things God's way.

That's certainly true, and in most homes, roles have been meted out like toss salad. Few couples really have a biblical view on what their role should be in the home. Now, there's three things that I want you as a godly wife to remember. If you're really going to be the type of a woman that God wants you to be, I want to be God's kind of wife in our marriage, and if that is your desire, if that's not your desire in your heart, then everything I'm going to tell you is not going to mean anything to you.

But if you really have a desire to be a godly wife, and you really want to honor Jesus Christ in your marriage, if that's what you want to do, then you're going to listen very carefully to these three things. They're really key. Now, anytime we have to deal with the wife's role, we've got to deal with this one word, and I'm wondering what comes to your mind when the word submission is mentioned.

What is coming to your mind? Some women, this is what comes to their mind. Submission, there it is. All right. That's what submission is. That's what the Bible says. Or maybe it's something like this. This is what submission is. Or maybe it's something like this. This is what submission is.

This is what submission is. That's what the Bible is talking about, which shows that you've been really well-trained according to what the world says, submission is. But what does God say submission is? Well, grab your Bible again. We're going to go back to the Bible. If you don't have a Bible near you, you need to look at this.

Find somebody who has a Bible near you so you can look at this. Ephesians Chapter 5, I'm going to pick up in verse 22. "Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body is himself its savior." So the first thing you got to remember in being a godly wife is to practice biblical submission.

That's the first thing. Submission is the first key thing. Now in order to help you to understand this, let me talk about what it's not, and then I'm going to talk about what it is. And I have to talk about what it's not because we live in an entire culture today who has horribly misinformed us as to what the Bible means when it comes to submission.

So let me identify for you seven things that it is not, and then we'll talk about what it is. When we're talking about submission, it doesn't mean inequality. Never meant that anywhere. The world tries to pour that kind of meaning into it, and therefore they would say that this is a very demeaning thing for a woman, when in reality that's not the case at all, and you'll see why I say that in a few moments.

And in fact, if you take a look at the Godhead itself, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, there is a functional subordination that occurs within the Godhead. Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, before going to the cross, what does he do? He prays, "Let this cup pass from me.

Nevertheless, not my will be done, but thine be done." And in doing so, Jesus Christ voluntarily submits himself to the will of the Father. Now, let me ask you this question. When Jesus did that, did that make him any less God? No. Did that strip him of any kind of attributes of being God?

No, it did not. He was still fully and completely God, and yet he surrendered himself to the will of the Father. It's not as if Jesus didn't know or understand the need of going to the cross. It's just that Jesus Christ was not masochistic. He wasn't looking forward to the pain of the cross, but even more so, he wasn't looking forward for the first time in all of eternity, in eternity, to be separated from the Father by human sin.

That was the worst thing of all. And the excruciating thought of that and that kind of separation. Hence, he prays, "Let this cup of suffering pass from me. Nevertheless, not my will be done, but thine be done." He's voluntarily surrendering himself to the will of the Father. He also said to the disciples, he said to them, "I'm going to return to my Father.

But when I do, I'm going to send forth the Spirit, and he will tell you what I have told him." So in this particular case, now we have the Holy Spirit surrendering himself and doing the will of Jesus Christ. Does that make, at any time, the Holy Spirit any less God?

No, not at all. Not at all. He continually shares all the characteristics and all the attributes of God in his Godhead. But nevertheless, there is a functional subordination even within the Godhead. Submission never meant inequality. It never meant that. But somehow, in the way in which the world uses the term and plugs it within their context, they've turned it into a very nasty thing when it's not at all.

Really, from a biblical perspective, it's a very beautiful thing. Furthermore, it doesn't mean the infallibility of the husband. There are some wives who do this kind of mental dance in their head. Okay, I'm willing to be submissive to my husband. God, you just make it show he doesn't make any mistakes!

All right? Well, anybody can be submissive to anybody who's mistake-less. Anybody can do that. Well, there is no husband like this on this planet! They're all gonna make mistakes. They're all gonna, because they're fallible. Every husband is a sinner except for one, and you can't have him. He's already married to the church.

All right? That's the only perfect husband. You can't have him. Your husband is gonna make mistakes! He's gonna blow it sometimes. Actually, sometimes, some of the things that have happened in our marriage, I think God has had me blow it just to test to see if my wife was still gonna follow.

Oh, I can see what she's saying. Here he goes again. Here he goes again. Oh, my goodness. All right? Is she still willing to follow in this particular case, and then later on, I have to learn, and yeah, Lord, keep teaching him. I know what her prayer is. All right, keep working on that guy.

It doesn't mean the infallibility of your husband. It doesn't mean that. Furthermore, it doesn't mean immobility. There are some wives who think that. I don't do anything. My wife, my husband does everything. In fact, I counseled a couple like that several years ago where they kind of defined submission that way.

She didn't do anything except for basically stay home and cook meals and watch the kids, and he did all the shopping, and he purchased things, and he did all the driving, and he kept the books, and he did the work, his work and his job, and as he got older and now had a really bad heart condition and was close to death, he was scared to death.

His wife didn't have a driver's license. She couldn't keep the financial books. She didn't know what was going on in terms of the bank. None of this was happening at all. He had not trained her in any way on what was going on, and now they're in a terrible fix.

No, it doesn't mean that my husband does everything. No, on the contrary. If you have a wise husband, he's going to work with you, and the two of you are gonna share the responsibilities of that particular marriage in order to move that marriage forward to the honor and glory of Jesus Christ.

That's what should be happening. Furthermore, it doesn't mean inarticulation either. Well, this is the view where I just kind of remain silent. I don't say anything. No, your husband needs your input. I gave you that illustration last hour, how he carries around male blinders all the time. Well, in a similar way, you have female blinders on, and there are certain things that you can learn from your husband too, but your husband needs your input, not all the time, 24/7, but he needs your input.

It doesn't mean you have to remind him 12 times. All right, doesn't mean that at all. It means that you need to give your perspective on it. He needs to weigh it, and then they're gonna decide, he's gonna decide whether or not how far we're gonna move forward here.

It doesn't mean you're inarticulate. God gave you a brain. He gave you gifts. He gave you abilities, and it's important you use them in order to further your marriage in honoring and glorifying Jesus Christ. That's really key. Number five, it doesn't mean intellectual stagnation. I don't do any thinking.

My husband does all the thinking for me. It's that kind of mentality. No, that's not it at all. You need to think. You need to apply your intellect that God has given you. I mean, there are some women who act that way, that God wasted his time giving you a brain.

He didn't do that. He didn't waste his time. This is the doormat mentality. And this is the type of thing that leads a lot of women who think they're doing the right thing into terrible decisions, where they allow their husbands to convince them to do all kinds of ungodly things, when if they were really thinking about it, they would never do it in the first place.

No, God never intended you to be a doormat. God wants you to use your mind to its fullest extent in order to compliment your husband and to further your marriage to Christ's honor and glory. Number six, it doesn't mean your influence is impossible. In fact, I want to argue exactly the opposite.

Jesus Christ, who assumed the most submissive role, even submitted himself into the hands of evil, sinful men and was crucified on the cross, changed all of history. From a biblical perspective, it's the submissive person that has the most influence. I can argue that from now until eternity. In other words, it doesn't mean you're not influential.

You can be incredibly influential. If you try to follow the way the feminists tell you to do in the world today, then you will be rendered ineffective. Because they tell you to be assertive, demanding, insisting on your own rights. That's what they tell you to do, which makes you ugly.

Nobody wants to be around you. It makes you incredibly opinionated. But when you are gracious and smart and honorable, the way Christ wants you to be, then you have incredible influence in this world. Unbelievable influence in this world. And that's the way God intended you to have. Last of all, it doesn't mean iniquitous manipulation.

Now, I'm a pastor. All these things have to start with I, okay? But you know what I mean. You ever heard a woman say, yeah, my husband's the head of the home, but I'm the neck that turns the head, all right? He's the marionette and I'm the one behind the scenes pulling the strings, all right?

I'm the one really making things happen in this home. I'm the one that's making him walk, talk, dance, and do whatever he needs to do in order to, yeah, he's the head of the home, but I'm really the one that's controlling things behind the scenes. It doesn't mean that either.

Never meant that. And if you think that that's true, then you have the opposite view of what God says. Submission doesn't mean that. You say, okay, okay, I got it, I got it. I understand, but what does it mean? What does it mean? Well, I'm glad you asked that question.

Let's take a look at what it means, all right? Well, what is it? Submission is a divine plan of function and order. The Greek term that's used in the New Testament is the word hupotasso, and it's actually a military term. It was used for soldiers that marched in rank or marching in order.

It was used sometimes in architecture to line up Roman columns where they would hupotasso one column to another column. They would line them up in order. So the idea here is the concept of submission is being in rank, marching in order, if you will. The idea is lining up so that orderly fashion.

Why? Why is that so important? Because we live in a world, and you know this, where marriages are in chaos. It's just pure chaos. I'll never forget, 20 years ago, when we moved from Ohio to California to teach there at the Master's University and Seminary, we were put temporarily in a condo.

Lord willing, I hope to never be in a situation like that anymore, in a situation like that, and live in a condo like we did. We did that for a year until we could find a home, but I remember in the morning, my wife and I would get up, and we'd have breakfast together, have prayer together, and read scripture together, and we'd have the windows open, and we could hear people in condos around us getting up, arguing, screaming, yelling, throwing things.

I mean, on all different sides. And we would sit there, and we would pray for those people, and we would say, man, if this is the condition of marriages in our country today, we are in deep trouble. We are in deep trouble. This never should be the way in which people should act with one another.

Just common decency should tell you that, let alone what the Bible says. It should never be. That should never be anything. There's no order, there's no function at all. And listen, the world understands this on one level. The world understands this. Because, let me ask you a question. How many pilots are there on an airliner?

I just flew here. There's only one, right? There's a pilot, and there's a co-pilot, right? Everybody knows exactly where they are, all right? You don't have two pilots. If you have two pilots, in an egalitarian sense, then what if there's a really dangerous decision that needs to be made, and they are different in their decision?

You're gonna have that plane going like this. (grunting) And the people in the back are gonna be bouncing off the ceiling. That's the way kids are in our homes. We've got mom and dad fighting for control of the plane. And the kids are in the back, getting bounced off the ceiling, all right?

And we wonder why our kids are so awful, 'cause mom and dad are awful with each other. No, no, no. How many generals in an army? There's one general that oversees even the lesser generals, and all the people underneath them, and all the people underneath. There's one general, 'cause we know we can't function, we can't accomplish anything, and we can't move forward until somebody makes a final decision.

God has designated your husband to make that final decision. I know he's not perfect. I know sometimes his decisions are unloving. I understand that. He is a sinner. I understand that. But is God, your God, big enough to overrule the stupidity of your husband? (congregation laughing) Yes, he is.

He is. God is, he is big enough to overrule his stupid decisions. All right? This goes back to how much you trust God, and what God is doing in your home, all right? It's a divine plan of function and order. It's a way of life for every believer. You can see this in verse 21, when he talks about submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Why? This is not something that a woman learns when she gets married. If that's true, don't marry that woman. No, no, no. It's something that every man and every woman knows. When they're a baby, and they're a child, they have to submit themselves to their parents. Later on, they have to submit themselves to their teachers.

Later on, they have to submit themselves to their professors at college. They have to submit themselves to the police officers there in society and culture. They have to submit themselves to the leadership of the church, all right? They have to submit. This is what should be an attitude for every believer in every walk of life.

It's not just something a woman adopts when she becomes a Christian. Every man and woman should understand this, because it is a divine plan of function and order. It's a protection for the wife as well. It's like an umbrella. She doesn't have to be exposed to some of the things that are a part of this world the way he is.

He's gonna shoulder those things, and she doesn't have to. This actually gives her freedom, living underneath that shelter, where he's sheltering many of those things. I know there are some husbands who have holes in their umbrella. I know that. So you need to get under the area that doesn't have a hole in it, all right?

But if your husband's doing the right thing, he's going to be a shelter. His leadership's gonna be a shelter, and he should shelter, this is what true masculinity does, on his shoulders a lot of the big issues that you don't have to bother with. But once you decide to walk out from underneath that umbrella and do your own thing, now you're exposed to elements and things in the world that God never intends you to be exposed to.

It's like the man in 1 Corinthians 15 that Paul said the church had to take through church discipline because he was sleeping with his stepmother. Paul says, "Turn him over to Satan "for the destruction of the flesh "that his soul might be saved." In other words, they were removing him from the protective graces of the church, exposing him out in the world to be exposed to Satan and the elements of the world in order to bring him to repentance, to bring him back underneath the protective graces of the church.

And by the way, in 2 Corinthians 2, that man was brought to repentance, and Paul then later says, "Now receive him back and comfort him." The Greek there is pretty explicit. "Throw a party for that repentant man. "He finally repents." Here's a guy who was unrepentant and sleeping with his stepmother.

Things that didn't even occur in the world, Paul said. It was occurring there in the church. So it's a protection for the wife. Furthermore, it's an attitude in her heart. Attitude, it's as unto the Lord. You can see that in verse 22. "Submit yourselves to your own husbands "as to the Lord," it says.

So the way in which you submit yourself to your husband reveals your spiritual walk before God. This is really important for you to understand. When you refuse to do that, that reveals the fact that your walk with God is not good, that there's a major problem in your walk with God.

Furthermore, it's an act of the will, and it's not a feeling. You wait until you feel like it, it'll never happen. There are some women who do that. "I'm waiting until I feel like doing it." And guess what? It never comes. It never comes. No, no, no. It's something that I decide to do.

I decide I'm going to do it. And it's amazing how God actually uses that to change the heart of your husband. When he sees a wife who's really trying to do her best to do that, all of a sudden he becomes a much more agreeable person to live with.

It's not just him that's changing, I want you to know. It's your perception of him that's changing. Not just him. He changes. Yeah, yeah, he does. But your perception of him is changing. So it's an act of the will, it's not a feeling. And it's the proof of your love.

Why do we say that? Because John 14, 21 says, "If you love me," Jesus said, "keep my commandments." You can say that you love your husband, and you can say it until you are blue in the face. You can say it loud and long, but it's absolutely meaningless unless you're willing to follow him.

It's absolutely meaningless. It is the proof of your love for him. Furthermore, not only that, it's an all-inclusive command. Notice this, where he says in verse 24, "Now as the church submits to Christ, "so wives should submit in everything to their husbands." Now, notice that in everything. Now, wait a minute.

You say, "Well, what if my husband tells me to lie?" Or, "What if he tells me to cheat?" Or, "What if he tells me to do something wrong?" Well, if you study this within context again, because a text without a context is a pretext for a proof text, right?

In context, you'll find out that it means in everything that is right. In everything that is right. In other words, if your husband tells you to lie or to cheat on your income taxes or to steal or to misrepresent, you need to say, "Sweetheart, you know what? "I love you.

"I just love you, but I can't do that "because you're not my God. "You're my husband. "There's a difference." So this is where using your brain, living by the word of God, God will honor. This is really important for you. It's in everything that is right. It's an all-inclusive command.

Furthermore, it's a proper relationship to God's authority. The proper relationship to God's authority. That shows that you have a learner spirit. You are being a true disciple of Jesus Christ, and this is a proper relationship to Him when you're willing to be submissive, and it's a way to stay youthful.

Let me show you this. Take your Bible. Let's go over to 1 Peter 3. I told you I'd come back here. 1 Peter 3, we already talked about why 1 Peter was written when we talked in the husband's section. Written to Christians undergoing severe persecution. Well, 1 Peter 3.1, it says, "Likewise," like what?

Well, back in chapter two, like Christ dealt with unjust suffering. "Likewise, wives," this is Christian wives, "be subject or submissive to your own husbands "so that even if some do not obey the word, "they may be won without a word "by the conduct of their wives." In other words, you can win your husband over without lecturing him to righteousness, even if you have an unbelieving husband.

This is really key, because women think that they can lecture their husbands into righteousness, and really, it does just the opposite. It sends up the walls. No, he says, "You live Christlike in front of Him, "that's the most persuasive thing that you can do." In other words, you don't put repent in the bottom of his beer can.

That's not the way you bring him to righteousness, all right? You don't bombard him with words. You don't do that. That's not the way you win him over to righteousness. How do you win him over to righteousness? It's by the conduct of your life. Verse two says, "When they see your respectful "and pure conduct, do not let your adorning," verse three says, "be external, the braiding of hair "and the putting on of gold jewelry and clothing you wear." Now, God's not against braided hair, and He's not against gold jewelry or clothing.

He's saying that that's not where your true beauty is going to come from. But, verse four, "Now, ladies, put your seatbelts on, "helmets, and flak vests. "But let your adorning be the hidden person "of the heart with the imperishable beauty "of a gentle and quiet spirit, "which in God's sight is very precious." This is a very influential woman.

Clear back in 1985, we planted a church in between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio. And I'll never forget, in those early days, we had an elderly couple that came to our church. Their names were Delbert and Evelyn Lakes, really godly couple. They're in heaven now. I so look forward to seeing Delbert and Evelyn someday in heaven.

But they were an elderly couple in our church, and we had a very young church. But I would watch as a pastor at the Collegiate of Services all the young men and women gather around Delbert and Evelyn, not because they were beautiful. They weren't. You never find them on the front page of Seventeen magazine.

They weren't good-looking people at all. But I'm telling you, they were some of the most attractive people on the planet, and especially Evelyn. Evelyn was just a godly woman, and all the women wanted to know what her secret was. Wasn't external. You could buy gallons and gallons of oil of Olay and take baths in it all day long, and you are fighting a losing battle!

All right, this is gonna get wrinkled. You're gonna get crow's feet. All right, you're gonna get stooped over. You can take vitamins, ad infinitum, and calcium, all you want, and age is gonna take its toll. But the way you stay beautiful has to do with the inner person of the heart!

That beauty that comes from the inside, that is a beautiful thing. Any husband that doesn't realize that is not a husband that's interested in godliness. (silence) A gentle and quiet spirit, this is not a woman who's weak, milquetoast type of, this is a very strong woman who knows exactly what she believes.

She trusts in god, she's not demanding, she's not hateful, she's not assertive. She doesn't demand her rights, she doesn't do that. She trusts a sovereign god that's working in her life. She lives out Christlikeness and lets the results, leaves the results up to god. That's what she does. It's a way to stay youthful.

And it's a picture of how the church of Jesus Christ is to obey him. Soldiers in rank, pillars in place, the church obeying god. That's what should be happening. It's a picture of this. Now on what is this based? What is this based? Well notice this. Take your Bible again, let's go over to 1 Timothy, chapter two, 1 Timothy chapter two.

We'll pick up in verse 13. Notice this, it says this submission is based upon creation order. Verse 13 says, "For Adam was formed first, then Eve." Paul's explaining why this is so important here, and in this case, he's saying even if sin had never come into the world, God still would have expected women to follow their husband in terms of leadership.

It's based on the order of creation. For Paul, the order of creation has theological significance in this issue. And then verse 14 goes on and says, now bringing sin into the picture, "And Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived "and became the transgressor." So it's also based upon Eve's fall into sin.

It's based upon Eve's fall into sin. Eve has a problem, that is giving in to people. So this becomes a protection for her. This becomes a key thing. We know that, even in sales, they know this. If they can call a home, and they always call right around supper time 'cause they know everybody's gonna be assembled.

You get those kind of phone calls. Well, people don't have landlines anymore. Now they're getting into cell phones now, but we still have a landline in our house. And we get sales calls right around supper times. Phones silent all day long. Supper time, it lights up. They wanna sell you windows, and they wanna sell you blinds, and they wanna sell you everything on the planet.

And they know statistically, I've read the statistics, if they can talk to the woman of the household, statistically, they can sell more. All right, 'cause men will be rude. They'll just hang up on 'em. All right, women will listen to their whole spiel type of thing. Now, I know you're saying, "That wouldn't happen to my household." I know, but statistics don't lie.

The implication here is that she has a problem giving in to people. That's really such a key thing. This becomes a protection for her. Then it's a lesson that God once taught. That is obedience to Christ. By her doing this, she's teaching other young women, she's teaching her children, she's even teaching her husband obedience to Christ.

And upon that, godly submission is built. It's built upon the order of creation. It's built upon Eve's fall into sin. It's built upon the fact that God wants that lesson to be taught. That's what God has established. So the first thing you gotta remember in order to be a godly wife is submission.

There's a second thing. I want you to grab your Bible and go back to Genesis chapter two and verse 18. Genesis chapter two and verse 18. We were there in our first session last night. Verse 18 says, "Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone, "that I will make a helper suitable for him." The second thing you need to understand in being a godly husband or be a godly wife is to be a suitable helper.

What does that really mean? What does it mean, as I mentioned in our first session, what does it mean to be an eiser conigno? Well, it's someone who is ideally suited for him. She is his perfect complement. She is a completer. She's a fitting help. She's not a dishwasher, she's not a housewife, she's not a babysitter, but she is a completer.

She completes him. She brings companionship into that relationship. That means also that her husband is her primary ministry. There's no one else. It's not the kids that are her primary ministry. It's not other people outside the home. It's not people at church that's her primary ministry. It's not someone in the neighborhood.

Her primary ministry, in God's eyes, is her husband. You say, "Well, what if you have a husband "that's not a believer?" Well, that's still her primary ministry. She is God's called missionary to him. 1 Peter 3, 1 through 6, talks about how she should live with an unbelieving husband.

And if that's true with an unbelieving husband, it certainly should be true of a believing husband as well, how she needs to live. So her husband then is her primary ministry. God has so designed her heart that she will find her greatest joy and contentment in that role, that is being his suitable helper.

He's not put into the home to follow her aspirations. She is placed in the home to follow his aspirations. There's a difference, and it's a huge one. And that priority shift has taken place, and no wonder it has stripped men of true masculinity from a biblical perspective. There's nothing more that a man wants than to be able to protect and provide for their wife.

It's not his job to follow her career. It is her job to follow his career. Now, is it bad that she has a career? No, I'm not saying it's bad. But her primary responsibility is that home, and her primary ministry is her husband. That's really a key thing. And anything less than that is going to introduce misery, strife, difficulty, and hardship into that home.

Now, let me help you see this. Let's go back to 1 Timothy chapter two. This is really important. 1 Timothy chapter two. We already took a look at verse 13 and 14. Now take a look at verse 15. Yet she shall be saved through childbearing, if they continue in faith and love and holiness with self-control.

What does that mean? It doesn't mean eternally saved. That's not what it means here. Saved, the word sozo, can be used in different senses. Here it is, saved from heartache, strife, difficulty, and hardship, if she gets her priorities straight. That's really a critical thing. God saves her from those kinds of hardships and difficulty and heartaches, if she gets godly priorities straight in her home.

She finds her greatest joy, her greatest contentment in that role. She then is a contributing member of a partnership. As Titus two, verses three through five says, she is supposed to be, her primary role is to be busy at home, contributing to that partnership. The result is that God then blesses that home.

And this is where Proverbs 31, verse 28, talks about her husband and her children rise up and call her blessed. Because everything she does in the virtuous woman there in Proverbs 31 is in order to benefit her husband and to benefit her children. Everything that she does, does that.

So, the first thing you gotta remember in being a godly wife is submission. The second thing you need to remember is suitable helper. There's a third thing. Let's go over to Ephesians chapter five. And we're gonna take a look at verse 33. Ephesians chapter five and verse 33. Paul has a summary verse here for both husbands and wives.

And he says, however, let each one of you love his wife as himself. He goes back to the love that the husband's supposed to have and let the wife see to it that she respects her husband. The Greek term that's used there is phobos. It's where we often translate the word fear, but it doesn't mean fear in the sense of horror or terror.

It means fear in the sense of respect. Hence it translated, she sees to it that she respects her husband. The first thing is submission. The second thing, suitable helper. The third thing has to do with being selflessly reverent. Those three things are really key. Selflessly reverent. What does it mean to be selflessly reverent?

It means to honor him, prefer him, venerate him, esteem him, praise him, love him, admire him exceedingly. That's what it means. And I know what you're thinking. I've had women say this to me before. Oh my goodness, you know, if I do that, you don't know my husband. So what?

Well, if I do this, this is just gonna feed his male ego. This guy's gonna be an impossible person to live with. And I want to suggest to you that just the opposite will happen. If he's a godly husband, he'll know above all people on the planet how much he does not deserve that honor, that veneration, that esteem, that praise, that kind of love, that type of admiration above all thing, and it actually has a humbling effect.

When you try to compete with him, then that's going to throw up the walls, that's gonna bring in the strife. When you start honoring him, preferring him, venerating him, esteeming him, praising him, loving him, admiring him exceedingly, when you start doing that, you will have a different husband. You show me a wife that does that, and I will show you a very happy husband.

A wife that does that, and that's what a husband's heart wants. He wants his wife to do that. Not artificially, not fake praise. We're not talking about that. We're talking about genuine praise where you can find your husband does plenty of things, and he does it well, you just ignore it.

You need to find it. You need to start being alert to it. We're talking about honoring him, preferring him, esteeming him, all of these things. She is to hold him in the highest esteem within her own heart and mind. This is really key. This is what she must do.

But the opposite is happening. Instead of she's critical, she's angry, she's bitter, she becomes hateful, terrible things comes out of her mouth towards him. Horrible, hateful things, angry things. She's not honoring him, she's not preferring him. She's not loving him. She's certainly not admiring him. I know that there are things about your husband that's not admirable, I know that.

'Cause I'm a husband. I've worked with lots of husbands. But you need to find the things that are and zero in on them, and all of a sudden, you'll start to find a different husband. It needs to happen. What it doesn't mean, reverence him, don't try to revamp him.

I mentioned this before. You're not his personal Holy Spirit to convict him of sin, righteousness, and judgment. The Holy Spirit will do a much better job. That is not your role. God did not give you that role to be critical to your husband. Let the Holy Spirit do his job.

Get out of the way of the Holy Spirit and let the Holy Spirit work in your husband's life. The Holy Spirit will do a whole lot better job than you ever will in a million years. Reverence him, don't try to revamp him. Focusing on his negatives becomes your excuse not to obey him or follow.

And you can probably find plenty, but when you focus on those, that becomes your excuse. And a failure to do so ultimately will destroy your love for him. It's almost like dominoes that begins to fall. It's dominoes that begin to fall. Then you can see him, one right after another.

Reverence him, don't try to revamp him. Don't try to do that, don't focus on his negatives. Being selflessly reverent means to admire him exceedingly and love him. Build a reverent heart towards him in your heart. That's what needs to happen. Too many women don't do that and they're miserable.

They are miserable, not because they can't be happy, but because they've really not tried it God's way. Those dominoes begin to fall. A failure to actively pursue a high degree of respect for your husband will result in growing tension in your marriage, increasing anger in your life. Discouragement will set in.

Depression will follow right on the heels of that. There will be a general hindering of God's work in your home when you fail to reverence your husband. God knows what he's talking about here in Ephesians 5:33. And if you don't follow it, remember how I talked about, according to Romans 12, nine, we've got to learn to hate our sin.

If I'm not following, if I'm not truly reverencing my husband, then I'm going to pay the price for it, God says. And here's the price. I'm going to be, there's going to be tension. There's going to be strife. There's going to be anger and discouragement and depression. And it can go on for years, for years.

And it doesn't have to, it doesn't have to. Three things you've got to remember in order to be a godly wife. Submission, suitable helper, selflessly reverent. You say, that's more complicated than the men's. Well, because I think you ladies are far more sophisticated in your thinking. All right, three things you remember.

All right, gentlemen, hide your notes. All right, the ladies are all going to look at me and they're going to repeat pop quiz here. Three things you got to remember in order to be a godly wife. Number one, when I, I'm going to be a godly wife when I practice.

We're going to try it again. This time, as my third grade teacher used to say, okay, children, take the smiles out of your pocket and put them on. Okay, here we go. Three things you've got to remember in order to be a godly wife. Now, say them out, submission.

There we go, that's exactly right. In our next session, we're going to take a little bit longer of a break now, but in the next session, we're going to talk about godly communication, but before we go, gentlemen, you're going to delight your wives by recalling the three things you need to remember in order to be a godly husband.

Ready, here we go. All right, ladies, put a smile. Not lever, leader. You're going to put a smile on your husband's face, ladies. One more time. (audience murmuring)