(upbeat music) As of this moment, as I record, Pastor John and Noel are on a ministry trip through Holland, France and Germany. Earlier in the year, they were in South America, you might remember. Earlier in the spring, they were in Ireland and in Edinburgh. All those trips being ministry trips on behalf of Desiring God, and I know several financial partners are listening, and you make those trips possible.

So thank you for your partnership with us. Looking back when Pastor John was on his trip to Edinburgh, Scotland, he answered questions from the audience in one setting. And one of those questions was from a wife who is a Christian, but is married to an unbelieving husband. And she asks, "Where do I draw the boundary lines in my submission to him?" Here is the interchange moderated by local pastor and church planter, Andy Prime.

Have a listen. - Staying within the context of family, someone's asked, "I was saved after I got married. I accept the biblical teaching that my husband is the head of the house and family. What advice do you give to a woman in this situation?" So I'm presuming the husband is an unbeliever.

- An unbeliever. - I presume so. - Well, there's a text written for you. It's 1 Peter 3, one to six. It's written to women who are married to unbelievers. So my first advice would be memorize those verses. And they are most remarkable. And I love those verses. I love them for myself, frankly.

Most of the texts that are written for women in the Bible I find very helpful for me. But that's the place. And the burden of that text is that your life is essential to your words. I mean, it says that he may be one without a word. Now, I don't think that is an absolute, I mean, you can't ever talk about Jesus with your husband because he's gotta know you're a believer or he can't be converted.

And it says he will be converted. So he's gotta know the gospel. And so I think it means don't harangue him, don't nag him, don't preach at him. But in all humility, in all lowliness, somewhere along the way, lay your heart bare before this man as to where you stand and why you're there.

Not in a preaching way, but a testimony way. This is why I love Jesus. I believe that loving Jesus will help me love you better. So please don't think that when I put him first, I'm loving you worse. It doesn't work that way, honey. It doesn't. It doesn't. I will love you better for loving him more.

Now, he may find that unintelligible, but you need to then show that, you need to prove that. And it's very complex in a day like ours when spousal abuse is the first thing people think of often when you talk about submission. And there is a real kind of submission that does not make your husband your absolute Lord.

That text makes no sense unless Jesus is your Lord above your husband, because you're aiming to convert the husband to the Lord that's above you, you both. And if you're aiming to convert your husband, clearly you have not submitted to his wrong ideas. I mean, think through the implications of this text for what submission does and doesn't mean.

It doesn't mean that your brain has been surrendered to the unbeliever's brain, because if it were, you'd become an unbeliever. And the text clearly says, "Stand your ground, woman. "Stand your ground." You have an independent relationship with the Lord that's authentic and unshakable, no matter what he says, no matter what he does.

This is real, and Jesus is your Lord, and you want him included in that. That's a remarkably independent, in a sense you might say non-submissive. So at the level of intellectual commitments, you're committed to Jesus, not to what the husband believes, which means that submission has a flavor about it that's not absolutistic in the sense of, this man is my Lord, whatever he says goes.

It doesn't, whatever Jesus says goes. But oh my, once you have rested in Jesus and longed to show this man as a leader, that is honor his leadership. He may not even be a leader, but you're gonna do everything you can to honor that leadership and call out of him all the initiatives, all the protection, all the provision.

Those are the three words that I think headship implies, that is protecting this woman. I'm gonna die for her if I have to. She is my woman, nobody can have her but me, and I'm protecting her against everything that might hurt her. Number two, I'm gonna do everything I can to provide her, even if I've got a disability and she has to work for me, I'm gonna do everything I can to be the provider and I'm gonna take initiatives.

I'm talking to the men now really, but that's what she wants to awaken and win from him. And I think there are submissive ways to say no to an unbelieving husband. If he wants you to do group sex, you're gonna say, I can't, I love you, I think this is bad for you, bad for us, can't do that because of Jesus.

So, with all the texts in the Bible that talk about subordination, children to parents, wives to husbands, citizens to governments and church members to elders, those four groups, all of them are qualified, they're not absolute, right? You don't do everything a government says, you don't do everything a wacko elder says who's left of faith, you don't do everything a parent tells you to do if they try to get you to join them in sinning in some way.

The absoluteness of Jesus relativizes, qualifies the subordination of a child, a wife, a citizen and a church member. Amen, that was John Piper answering audience questions in Scotland earlier this year. Well, Pastor John is with Noel finishing up a ministry trip in Holland, France and Germany. They'll be headed back home to Minneapolis in the next day or so.

Would you please consider praying for their safety as they travel home and for the ongoing fruitfulness of their investment in this trip? We would really appreciate it. Well, before Pastor John left for this trip, we recorded a slew of new episodes in the studio, including the next one which comes out on Friday about false teaching.

We should be aware of false teachers, of course, but should we call out false teachers in public? Why or why not? When or when not and who should do it? It's a great little batch of related questions from you. It's up next in a brand new episode coming up next time on Friday.

I'm your host Tony Reinke. Thanks for listening. We'll see you then. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)