(upbeat music) - This week we are talking with speaker and author Paul Tripp. Paul is the author of a really helpful book titled Sex and Money. And Paul, one of the themes throughout the book that you make, and it's an important one, is that sexuality is never secular. Sex is always spiritual.

Sex is always worship. Explain this dynamic for us. - Well, in order to understand the worship nature of sex, again, you have to go back to how we were constructed. Worship is not first an activity. You know, many Christians, when they hear the word worship, they hear Sunday morning, a service, a gathering, or if it's a real cool church, Saturday night.

What's important to understand is that worship is first my identity before it's ever my activity. I don't just worship on Sunday. I really worship my way through every moment of every day, every situation, every location, every relationship involves worship. I mean, you could argue that if you took apart the motivation of human beings, the only thing we ever do is worship.

Now, what does that mean? It means that something is always Lord over my heart. Something is always controlling my heart, the heart being the seat of my thoughts, the seat of my emotions, the seat of my will and my choices. So it's the control center of my humanness. So it's impossible for my life not to be ruled by worship.

For example, the words that I say to the people in my life are controlled by what I'm worshiping. Think about this. If I'm worshiping pleasure and you're in the way of my pleasure, I'm going to say angry words to you. But if I'm worshiping God and you're in the way of my pleasure, I'm going to be patient, kind, and forgiving to you.

I mean, that's the difference. And so it's impossible for me to take off my worship nature when I'm pursuing human sexuality. It's structured by what I'm worshiping. Now, let's be practical. If I'm worshiping myself, I'll use you for my pleasure and I'll hurt you. If I'm worshiping sex, I'll deny boundaries and go wherever sexual pleasure leads me.

If I'm worshiping the other person, I'll try to find satisfaction in that person that I'm never able to find and hurt them and hurt me. If I'm worshiping God, then I'm going to love the boundaries he set for me and I'm going to love my neighbor as myself and sex will live the way it's supposed to live.

- That's good. So what would you say to an unmarried couple who is presently living together? - This will sound harsh at first, but let me explain. I would say, "God's smarter than you." And when you say, "No, I'm not going to stand "inside of God's boundaries," you're actually saying, "I know more about me and this thing than God." Now, God knows that sex is only safe in the context of a long-term committed relationship between a man and a woman called marriage.

Now, there may be mysteries to that that I'll never understand, but I submit myself to that because I understand God as creator knows me, God as creator knows sex, and he knows that it's best expressed, it's best beautified and protected and made holy inside of these boundaries. What right, how arrogant would it be for me to say, "No, I know better." - Yes, amen, thank you, Paul.

That's Paul Tripp, the author of the book, "Sex and Money." It's a very, very helpful book. You should check it out. And you can get everything you wanna know about this podcast at our landing page. Go to desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn. I'm your host, Tony Reinke. We'll be back tomorrow with guest, Paul Tripp.

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