There's just like so much pressure to try to raise the perfect child, be the perfect parent. What can people do? Because it seems like a lot of parents carry a tremendous amount of burden and stress about trying to make sure their kid has every opportunity, gets the perfect school, gets the perfect this.

The amount of control you have over your kid's success and outcomes is quite a bit less than many of us think. So the corollary of a lot of the choices we make probably don't matter as much as we think is that, you know, you could do everything right, even if that were a thing.

And then your kid might not turn out to be an Olympic athlete like you had hoped or whatever was your was your dream. And that loss of control, that's I think really that's really hard for a lot of people. And I think sometimes people would benefit by asking a little bit more.

What do I want my life to look like with my kid right now rather than what am I trying to build?