(upbeat music) - Welcome back to the podcast. Well, how much jewelry is too much jewelry? It's a question of concern on the podcast because you ask about it. And more importantly, it's a question of concern because it's a topic of concern in the Bible, specifically in 1 Peter 3, 3, a text that has provoked many emails to us over the years on how to limit adornments.

Here's a representative question I pulled out from a husband and a father. Hello, Pastor John, I thank you for this podcast. My wife and I are trying to figure out if it's good to allow our daughter to wear nail polish. She's two and loves to play dress up. I don't want this to become a necessity, but I suppose it's fine as an expression of her childlike creativity.

It's ultimately a question for my wife as well. She doesn't wear makeup or jewelry often and I'm happy with that. She does however, enjoy having her toes painted and considering 1 Peter 3, verses 3 to 4, I don't know many people who argue that all feminine adornments are bad, but clearly some are wrong.

So where do we draw that line today? Let me start with a general observation and analogy from the New Testament and then talk about some specifics. Consider the analogy between adornment of hair and stylish clothing and use of makeup on the one hand and riches and wealth on the other hand.

Here's the analogy. The New Testament does not call riches and wealth evil in and of themselves, but almost the entire New Testament has the trajectory away from luxury, away from opulence and toward simplicity, toward a kind of wartime lifestyle that is aware of the dangers of money and the appearance of loving this world more than we love God.

Now then the comparison or the analogy is the Bible does not call fashion or makeup or hairstyling evil in and of itself, but the trajectory of the New Testament is toward simplicity and modesty and inward beauty of character and what you might call on distracting personhood revealing as opposed to body revealing apparel.

Now that's my general observation. Let's take a few specifics. It would be good to put in front of us first, I think, two of the most straightforward texts about women's clothing and adornment and how she presents herself. And there are, you can see in these, clear implications for men as well, but they're addressed to women.

So first, 1 Peter 3, 3 and 4, "Do not let your adorning be external." Saying this to wives who are married to unbelieving husbands probably because the temptation to use their sexual reality to somehow influence this unbelieving husband. And he's saying, "Do not let your adorning be external. "The braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, "the clothing that you wear, "but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart "with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, "which in God's sight is very precious." That's 1 Peter 3.

Now here's 1 Timothy 2, 9 and 10. "I desire that women should adorn themselves "in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, "not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, "but with what is proper for women who profess godliness, "that is, with good works." Now, from these two texts, we can say the following.

First, "Don't focus more on the external beauty "than the internal beauty." 1 Peter, "Do not let your adorning be external, "but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart." So there's the great principle for women, and I would say that's just obviously for men as well. Like bodily exercise, you know, that analogy, we like to quote this, "Bodily exercise is of a little value, "but spiritual exercise is of value in every way." And so outward adornment, you could say, is of little value, and internal adornment, that's valuable in every way.

So that's the first thing we can infer from those texts. And then the second thing is this. Peter's and Paul's restrictions are not meant to be total. And the reason we know that is because right after saying, "Don't let your adorning be the braiding of hair and jewelry," he says, "Don't let your adorning be "the clothing that you wear." That does not mean don't wear clothing.

It means don't devote your main efforts and concerns to your clothing, but to inner beauty. So it doesn't mean no jewelry, no hairstyles either. Third thing we can say to this is the language of Paul in 1 Timothy 2, 9 and 10 about clothing is almost entirely about what is, quote, "fitting," or, quote, "becoming," or, quote, "appropriate." (speaking in foreign language) Becoming attire.

(speaking in foreign language) These are Greek phrases that I made sure I got right. With respect for convention or what's fitting. (speaking in foreign language) Not in costly attire, not lavish or gaudy. (speaking in foreign language) As is proper for women who profess godliness. Now, the implication of these guidelines seems to be within an ever-changing, highly corrupt culture, then and now, with fringe elements of grunge and gaudy and provocation, focus on what your clothing and adornment and makeup say about you as a person, not you as skin or you as shape.

Paul calls this what is proper for women who profess godliness. So now, back to the question about the little girl who wants to paint her nails. Okay, that's where we started. Now we're back. This brings up the issue, and it's just such a relevant, hot issue, the issue of male and female sexuality and what they are.

What's the difference between male and female? Which, 20 years ago, we might have felt like, we don't need to talk about that. Everybody knows what that is. Well, now, we need to be alert to the fact that our little girl should grow up with a happy, thoughtful awareness that God made her a girl and not a boy.

And our son should grow up with a happy, thoughtful awareness that God made him a boy and not a girl. So I will unashamedly say we should be happy when our daughter, at two years old, wants to paint her nails. And our son does not want to paint his nails.

And we should affirm her inclination toward this expression of femininity. And we should discourage our son's dabbling in this expression of femininity. And there are sensitive ways to do that. And I use the term expression of femininity because I'm fully aware that nail polish is a cultural expression, not an innate one.

It's not in her genes that nail polish has to be on her fingernails. Girls aren't born with painted nails. But what is innate, God-given innate, is that healthy boys moving toward mature manhood are inclined by God, God-given nature, to embrace culturally appropriate expressions of manhood. And we should help them with this.

And healthy girls moving toward mature womanhood are inclined by God-given nature to embrace culturally appropriate expressions of womanhood. And I believe Paul teaches that very thing in 1 Corinthians 11, five through 16. "Does not nature teach you?" he says. And Romans 1, where people are acting against nature. So I would be thankful that my daughter wants to paint her nails.

And I would, along with my wife, train her up in how innocent and utterly insignificant nail polish is in her worth as a person and her influence in the world. We want her to have a worldview so that even if her fingers are all cut off in a machine accident, she would know she can be a beautiful, worthwhile, fruitful person as a believer in Jesus Christ and as the daughter of the King of the universe.

So besides getting our priorities right and embracing the goodness of maleness and femaleness and dressing in ways that are becoming and fitting our devotion to Christ and dressing in ways that point to our personhood instead of our body and avoiding the arrogance that seeks to defy convention in shocking ways, besides all that, I would add a special concern here that we raise our daughters and sons not to be sexually provocative.

Now that means exposing less skin, not more skin, and it means less tight-fitting leggings, shirts. And if a woman gets upset with me at this point and says, I don't need to calculate my clothing according to male sexual temptation, which is just such a common retort if you try to say anything about modesty these days, but my response to that retort is, well, that's true, that's true.

You don't have to calculate your clothing that way. You don't. But I would ask you this question, which I think women understand who want to embrace feminine beauty and feminine godliness. Do you believe that beautiful attractiveness is increased by the amount of skin you expose? Here's my answer. The eyes that are drawn to more skin are not drawn to more skin because it's beautiful, but because it's more skin, period.

More skin is not beauty. It's a magnet. Has nothing to do with beauty. It has everything to do with pure, physical, magnetizing skin. The real test of whether one is beautifully attractive is not how sexy she can be or he can be, because sex and beauty are not at all the same.

And a godly woman knows this. She does not want to be a skin magnet. She wants to say with her clothing, I'm thankful I'm a woman. I love beautiful simplicity, and Christ is my greatest treasure. - A lifestyle that speaks and influences even without words. Thank you, Pastor John.

And thank you for joining us today. You can ask a question of your own, search our growing archive, or subscribe to the podcast all at DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn And speaking of a lifestyle that speaks and influences even without words, that's the theme next time as we look at the godly woman's charm.

It's right here in 1 Peter 3, and we return to the chapter next time. I'm your host, Tony Renke. We'll see you back here on Wednesday. Thanks for listening. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)