We are joined again by Matt Chandler, the lead pastor at The Village Church. Matt is the author of the new book, The Mingling of Souls, God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption, and he joins us by phone in Dallas. Question number 10 in my list of questions for you, Matt, is this, "How does the gospel change or inform or help those who are dating who have been victims of past sexual abuse, large numbers of men and women in the church represent this population?

How does Jesus Christ help the unique struggles that those Christians will face in the dating relationship and as they look forward to marriage?" Yeah, the first, I'm grateful to answer the question because I'm actually present in this question. The home I grew up in was wrought with just about every type of abuse imaginable, and it does leave some marks and it does leave some dents and create some baggage that not just in dating but then on into the marriage are going to need to be gospeled.

And what gospel change and help occurs is that for the one that has not sat under the abuse but is free from that type of baggage, the gospel should create patience, compassion, and empathy to walk alongside of the person who has bore the brunt of this abuse. Now, for the one that has bore the abuse, the gospel begins to reshape our identity, begins to reshape our hearts and wounds, enables us to begin to trust again, slowly but surely.

And so when the gospel is at work, both in the one that was not abused and in the one that was, you have a person who is patient and empathetic and compassionate and a person who is being reshaped and healed by the gospel in such a way that there's an opportunity to grow into intimacy that wouldn't have been possible outside of the gospel.

And so that's really how I know the gospel has worked in my own life and in my own marriage is Lorne was able to be very empathetic and compassionate and gracious and not demanding while the gospel did its work of healing and repairing the broken parts of me. Amen.

Thank you, Matt. And for more on this, pick up Matt's book, The Mingling of Souls, God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption. In chapter three, there's good instruction on how to talk about the abuse that you've experienced and to talk about it during courtship when things begin progressing towards marriage.

Well, we have time for one more question, a bonus question for tomorrow. What gospel hope is there for singles who are lonely and for whom marriage seems so unlikely? I'll ask Matt in our final episode together. I'm your host, Tony Reinke. We'll see you tomorrow. 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1