(upbeat music) - We're back with guest Francis Chan who joins us from San Francisco. Francis and his wife Lisa wrote a new book, You and Me Forever, Marriage in Light of Eternity. And Francis, you have five daughters, so one day you'll be dealing with suitors at the door, if not already.

And there seems to be a shortage of godly young men for a variety of reasons that is probably connected to porn use and video game addictions, et cetera, et cetera. And on the Ask Pastor John podcast, we get a steady stream of emails from young women who want to know, what should I expect to see in a young Christian man to signal that he's ready for marriage?

How would you answer them? What are you looking for? - Well, you know, it's interesting. My daughter did bring home a guy a few months ago from college. And some of my friends asked her, they say, "Hey, how serious are you with him?" And they told me her answer was so weird.

They said, her answer was, "I just want to hang out with him long enough "to see if God answers his prayers." I mean, that's a weird answer, but in her mind, that was her gauge. Okay, she lives with a dad, or she spent these 18 years with a dad who prays to God, and she would see how, man, my dad knows God.

God answers him when he prays. And so now that she's with these guys, she wants to know, okay, do you really know God? I mean, do you really know him? Is it a true relationship with him? Because growing up, she would see, like sometimes God would answer her prayer, and I'd point it out to her.

And I remember times I would sit her and her, my second oldest down. I'd go, look, you guys, you see the way God answers mom and dad's prayers. And when it comes time for you to get married, that's why I want you so badly to just be with a guy who knows and loves Jesus.

Because if you don't, you're forfeiting all of this. And so in their mind, it's really about this relationship. And I guess her answer tells me that she feels you can tell a lot about a person by how he prays and whether or not God listens. Because prayer is conditional.

We see in scripture, God often hates our prayers. And says, I'm not listening to that. It's a bunch of noise to me. You know, if there's doubting or selfishness or unrepentance, insincerity, it's a lack of reverence. God wants to hear the prayers of those who love him and know him and are walking with him.

And so for them, I think that's the picture. I don't wanna get too much into specific actions because that can be almost religious. It's more, gosh, does God, does he really know him? Does he really love Jesus? And is he truly known by him to where that prayer life is so deep and rich?

- Thank you, Francis. And on a related note, Pastor John has addressed dating in a couple of episodes. Episode number 122, titled, Is My Boyfriend's Porn a Marriage Deal Breaker? And episode number 486, Is My Boyfriend's Video Game Addiction a Marriage Deal Breaker? Those are critical questions we receive often from listeners.

And it's always great to hear from you out there. If you are a listener and you have a question, please send it to us at askpastorjohn@desiringgod.org in an email, of course. And visit us online at desiringgod.org to find thousands of books, articles, sermons, and other resources from John Piper, all free of charge.

We're back with Francis Chan tomorrow to talk about leadership. I'm your host, Tony Reinke. Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John Podcast. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)