Today we talk about a perplexing struggle for many, the struggle with self-consciousness. Also during this season, we've been talking a lot about preaching with the release of your book, Pastor John, Expository Exaltation, Christian Preaching as a Worship. That was a book that came out in April. All of which leads to this question from Parker, a pastor in Detroit, which opens the discussion I think we can all benefit from.

Parker writes this, "Pastor John, in episode number 49," wow, that was a long time ago, back in episode 49, "you commented on how self-consciousness is the preacher's curse. What steps would you suggest I take or which truths would you suggest I meditate on in order to overcome the curse of self-consciousness in the pulpit?" Well, that's right, I have said many times that I long in the pulpit not for the privilege of being conscious of myself and liking what I hear.

You might think, "Oh, that's what you'd want, be conscious of yourself and like what you hear." No, I would rather be unconscious of myself and so captivated by the truth that I'm preaching and so moved by love for the people in front of me that myself as a preacher is not one moment in my consciousness.

So yes, I'm thinking about God or Christ or salvation or obedience of faith or the cross or the needs of the people or the hope for outcomes. I want so much to focus on that, that standing outside myself and watching myself preach is simply not happening, because if it happens, it produces all kinds of either discouragement or pride.

So Parker's question is, yes, that's my question. Now it's not a simple matter, because not only is the immediate effort to get rid of self-conscious paradoxically impossible, you know, to focus on getting rid of self-consciousness requires self-consciousness, and that's not helpful. But the other reason it's complicated is because the New Testament teaches that there are good kinds of self-consciousness.

They're not evil. For example, we're told to examine ourselves. We're told to deny ourselves, Mark 8:34. And that "examine yourself" text is 2 Corinthians 13:5. We're told to consider ourselves dead to sin, Romans 6:11. Keep watch over ourselves, 1 Timothy 4:16. Preach to ourselves, Psalm 42.5. Put on a new self, Ephesians 4:24.

All of these commands assume that we are aware that there is in us a consciousness that we are not yet completely an integrated whole. We're divided. We are in some sense still split, part of us leaning toward evil, part of us wanting to please Christ. And as long as there is any measure of sinfulness in us, there will be a self that is aware of a sinning self and opposing it.

So I must not create the impression when I say I want to be free from self-consciousness, I must not create the impression that I'm opposed to good kind of self-consciousness. I need to know what is good, what is bad, and what is required. So what must we do here?

We must first make a distinction between the good kind of freedom from self-consciousness, the good kind of division of self, and the bad kind. And second, even with regard to the good kind, we must recognize that there are seasons when it is simply not helpful to have. So what kind of self-consciousness is not good?

Let me read three little verses and then sum up what they say. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. This is James 1.8 and now 4.8. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners. Purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Split. One mind and another mind. Now Colossians 3.22. Bond servants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye service as men-pleasers, but with sincerity. Now that word is so crucial. "Aplatitos" in Greek means essentially singleness, undivided, not duplicitous. So serve not with eye service as men-pleasers, but with this singleness, this sincerity, this undivided, this wonderfully clear-eyed heart fearing the Lord.

And then one more verse, 2 Corinthians 2.17. With regard to preaching, Paul says, "We are not like so many peddlers of God's Word, but as men of," same word, "sincerity, singleness, united, unified mind, as commissioned by God, we speak in the sight of God." So from those three passages, I would say that the Christian ideal in relating to other people and in preaching the Word of God in particular is to be people that are pure in the sense of free from a divided heart that, one, tries to appear one way while being another way; two, tries to say one thing while believing another thing; three, tries to be all there with sincere attentiveness when really part of us is somewhere else.

This kind of divided heart, divided consciousness, is at best insincere and at worst, we call it hypocrisy. So that's the bad kind of self-consciousness, and we should renounce it and avoid it. But like I said, even the good kind of self-consciousness, self-denial, self-assessment, watching over yourself, even the good kind of self-consciousness, the kind that puts to death the old man and denies the unloving self and keeps watch over the self so as not to fall into sin, even that good kind of self-consciousness isn't helpful in every situation.

And preaching, I think, is generally speaking one of those situations. And one reason is that it's just plain distracting. It's distracting. It's not the moment for doing that. It's distracting from the real subject matter of the sermon and distracting from focusing on the people in front of us. And the other reason is that such self-awareness while preaching either leads to discouragement or to pride.

You know, if you don't like what you hear, you feel discouraged. If you do like what you hear, you feel pride. As we stand outside ourselves and watch ourselves, and both pride and discouragement are deadly in the ministry of preaching. So now finally I've arrived at Parker's question, "What can I do?

What can I do to avoid it?" And so here are three short bullet points that I think will make a great difference. This is the way I try anyway. Number one, since this is ultimately a gift of God, since freedom from self-consciousness is ultimately a gift of God—you can't make it happen.

It's paradoxical. If you focus on making it happen, it's not happening. Since it's a gift of God, pray earnestly for the gift of self-forgetfulness in the hours leading up to your preaching. Number two, since the pursuit of self-forgetfulness must be indirect, since a direct pursuit is self-contradictory because fighting self-consciousness in the moment makes us self-conscious.

So since we have to pursue it indirectly, let's pursue it by stoking the fires of love for our subject matter and for our people. The more thrilled you are with what you have to preach, the less you are going to think about yourself preaching. That may be the most important thing I have to say, so I'm going to say that again.

The more thrilled we are with what we have to say about God and about His way and about His Son and about His gospel and about the life we have in Christ, the more thrilled we are with what we have to preach, the less we are going to think about ourselves preaching it.

And the last thing, number three, if in the midst of preaching we do become aware of ourselves and realize this quietly—and God will give us the grace to do this—we need to say to that temptation, "No." Just speak up. "No." And in as much as it lies within us, consciously turn our back on that temptation of self-consciousness and focus again on the glorious thing we're saying and on the people in front of us.

So may the Lord work this miracle in all of us, not just in preaching, but in all of our authentic communication. Amen. That's helpful. Thank you, Pastor John. And thanks for listening in to this episode. For more information about the podcast, you can go to our online home at DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn.

There you can explore all of our now 1,200 past episodes. You can scan through a list of our most popular ones. You can read transcripts and even send us a question of your own. Again, that's at DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn. And if you want to get new episodes delivered to you three times per week, you can subscribe to the Ask Pastor John podcast in your favorite podcast app.

Well, the love of money is the root of every kind of evil. So what kind of warning should be sounded to Christian entrepreneurs who have financially embarked on a venture to raise a lot of cash for a new business? We close the week with that one. That's a great question to be asking John Piper, and we're going to do that next time on Friday.

I'm your host, Tony Reinke. We'll see you then.