(upbeat music) - Well, welcome back to the podcast on this Wednesday. We have often taken up the topic of anger on the podcast. And that's because, well, we get a lot of questions on anger to the podcast and hundreds of questions over the years have come in on this topic.

Last time we looked at one dimension, namely getting mad at God when life doesn't turn out the way that we had hoped. Is it ever virtuous or righteous or godly or innocent, or even morally neutral to feel heartfelt anger at God? That question we took up last time on Monday in APJ 1828.

But most of our emails on anger are in the context of the home, in wondering what Pastor John has said here. I searched the sermon archive and found this clip that I wanna play for you today, it's for dads. And it's a reminder of how dad's anger in the home kills the kindness and the tenderheartedness that he is called to display to his family.

So how do we confront such a powerful and seemingly unstoppable force of anger inside the home? Here's Pastor John with a wonderful gospel answer and a clip taken from one of his 2007 sermons. Here he is talking about the fatherhood of God. - So here he is as our father, and he has never done us wrong or done anything to give us a legitimate cause for anger.

And the relationship is broken with everybody in the world. Whose fault is it? It's man's fault. It's always our fault. It's always our fault when the relationship breaks down between us and God, always. Now, here's the point of making that. Who takes the initiative to fix that? Our Father in heaven does, at the price of his son's life.

This is not a small little, well, I'm gonna give it a little try here to see if I can save my children. This is the father and the son from all eternity knowing our rebellious anger against him and saying, "Son, we're not gonna let him go. "We will not let our elect go.

"We will do everything it takes "to have them in this family and have them happy." Now, I mention it, dads, 'cause that's our pattern. And it was all our fault. It'll never be all your children's fault when they give you trouble. Some, but not all. And therefore, the call to be like God to our children will be more warranted than if we were perfect fathers.

And if we were perfect fathers, the knock on the door would be, "I would like to talk to the man of the house "and we'll work on this. "We will lay our lives down to have these children back "and to have them free from anger "and to have them whole emotionally "and moving into their own little nests whole." Now, I said I would point you back to the way Paul worked with anger.

If you wanna move a page, you may not have to move a page. Chapter four, verse 31. This text, 431 to 5.2, is a model for fathers and how to attack the anger in the family, in himself, in his children, wife. Let's start reading at 431. "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger "and clamor and slander be put away from you." You could say you dads.

"Along with all malice, be kind to one another, "tenderhearted, forgiving one another." Now, stop right there. That's all command. And as command, powerless. You go to a dad who's angry in this church tonight, say, "Stop feeling that way." He'll look to you like, "You mean you want me to fly?" "It doesn't work." That's what he would say, probably, if you just said, "Stop being angry." Or, like Paul, "Put it away." That's powerless.

But the next phrase is all power. "As God in Christ forgave you." There's the only hope, dads. The gospel is the only hope for child rearing. The main issue in making kids mad is that we're mad. And if we're gonna pull the plug on our anger, this is it.

I don't know any other Christ-exalting answer to how to overcome anger than to do the way Paul says here. "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger "and clamor and slander be put away from you." Reverse it. "Let there be kindness and tenderheartedness." That's those other sweet emotions that are being slaughtered by the anger.

"Replace the anger with tenderheartedness "and forgiving one another." And then here it comes. "As God in Christ forgave you." So the text is God doesn't just come to us, dads, and say, "Stop being angry "and stop provoking your kids to anger, period. "I mean it, I'm God, do what I say." That's not the gospel.

What God says is, "From eternity, I plan to save you. "My son and I, in a covenant of redemption, agreed to do it. "I'm gonna let him go. "He's gonna die. "He's gonna rise again." For every dad who will look away from himself to Christ as the punishment he deserves, the righteousness God requires, and receive all that precious, glorious treasure, at that moment, God says, "I am totally for you forever." And out of that forgiveness, out of that right standing, out of that sweet, tenderhearted experience of the living God folding me like a father into his family, a soul that has shriveled up to one solitary emotion, anger can begin to melt under the smile of God.

It can happen. It will happen. - A hopeful gospel word to address anger in the home. I took this clip from a John Piper sermon preached on June 17th, 2007, titled, "Marriage is Meant for Making Children "Disciples of Jesus, Part Two." And that sermon is subtitled, "A Father's Conquest of Anger in Himself "and in His Children." It's really important.

You can get the entire thing, both parts, online in audio. I think just audio. I'm not sure if the video's online. I know the audio is. Go and check it out online. If you have a sermon clip to share, email me. Give me your name, hometown, the sermon title, the timestamp of where the clip happens in the audio, and make a note of what stands out to you in it.

Put the word clip in the subject line of an email and send it to me at askpastorjohn@desiringgod.org. That's an email address, askpastorjohn@desiringgod.org. Well, as Pastor John says, "Not many things weigh heavier on the heart "than long-term marital disappointment." And we return Friday to hear from a disappointed wife who wants to know how to address the very deep disappointment she faces over her husband's ongoing sin.

It's a heavy topic and sobering. Hit us up on Friday. Next time, I'm your host, Tony Renke. We are rejoined in the studio with Pastor John on Friday. We'll see you then. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)