Take a listening class. There's a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak. You wanna help, you wanna be there, good instincts, but your instinct is to fix. Again, I think this is more male than female. Women are much better at holding space, men wanna fix, in general, not as a rule.

But when somebody is struggling, they don't have the mental capacity to even take in the stuff you're telling them. All they need is to not feel alone. And the funny thing is, is people can take instructions. I called a friend, I was in a dark time, I was struggling, I called her up and was like, "Hey, do you have a minute, I just, I need to talk." And I started telling her how I was feeling.

And she went into fix it mode. And I said to her, "I don't need you to fix anything, "I just need you to listen." I can give the instruction and she goes, "Okay." And she can adjust. The thing about somebody who's struggling or depressed or down or whatever it is, is they can't see the obvious.

That's why they're depressed or down or anxious. You are not depressed, down or anxious in that moment, which is why you can see the obvious. So sometimes trying to fix it and tell them will make them feel worse, right? You're basically calling them stupid. And so to be a good friend, you have to be good at knowing what people need in the moment and you don't even have to be intuitive.