Well, how should we consider our life regrets? The small regrets, the big regrets, the medium regrets. We all have regrets of various sizes. The question comes in from Marvin, a podcast listener. "Hello, Pastor John. I'm a 72-year-old man with four grown children. My wife is with the Lord now.

All in all, my life has been good, and I think I served the Lord for a lot of those years, but I can look back on many opportunities I missed in life. Business trips I didn't take, missionaries I didn't support, even professional opportunities I did not take and probably should have, ways to better invest and redeem my time at every stage along the way.

At my age, I harbor a bunch of little regrets about my past. All those small regrets add up and leave me wondering. Is it possible for an older man to look back over his life and conclude that I frequently missed God's will over the years? Or is who I am now the will of God perfectly manifested in all my decisions, and therefore I should have no regrets at all?

How should an old man in Christ who believes in the sovereign orchestration of God's providence look back on his failures and his missed opportunities?" Well, as you can imagine, this strikes very close to home. He's, what, 72, and I'm 73. I am that man, right? Marvin and I are both in our early 70s.

We both look back over most of our lives already being lived, I mean way most, and nothing, this is what hits me sometimes so hard, nothing, absolutely nothing we do can change the past. It sometimes hits me with tremendous force. My 33-year chapter as a pastor is complete. It had a beginning, 1980, it had an ending, 2013, and every second of it, every word spoken, every attitude felt, every deed done or undone is written in the books of heaven, and they are more fixed and unchangeable than Mount Everest.

Nothing I do, nothing, makes those years better or worse. That's an awesome thought. That's an awesome thought. I mean, it's obvious this can be, right? Duh, but it doesn't hit you until you're almost done with life and you look back and say, "I used to think in terms of, 'I'm going to make my pastor better.

I'm going to be better. I'm going to get better.'" Well, it's over. You're not going to make it better. It's over. You're not going to make those 33 years better or worse, and so Marvin is just forcing the issue again. Thank you, Marvin. It's good for me. It's really good for me.

At this point in my understanding of how to look back at the past, I have four things that I can make fit into an APJ. Number one, let's begin, Marvin, by remembering that we have the kind of Savior and the kind of salvation that says to the thief on the cross, just hours before he dies, "Today you will be with me in paradise." Think of it.

Just before he dies, he realizes that everything, everything in his past is regrettable. Everything. Nothing was done from faith. Nothing was done for the glory of Christ, and he will be with Jesus forever, welcomed. That's an amazing reality, unspeakably sweet reality of grace. If you, Lord, should mark iniquities, Lord, who could stand Psalm 130?

That's where we start, Marvin. We just start there. Christ died to cover a thousand regrets. Ten thousand. A million. Number two, Marvin, your memory and my memory and everybody's memory of our past is utterly unreliable. If you start to try to measure the spiritual successes and failures of your past, the good versus the bad, the loving versus the unloving, the helpful versus the unhelpful, you're kidding yourself.

My memory, your memory is utterly not up to the task for four reasons. One, many of my sins were hidden from me. Who can discern his errors, declare me innocent of hidden faults, Psalm 19. Number two, I have long forgotten many things entirely. Paul said, Paul, Paul said, 1 Corinthians 1:16, "I did baptize also the house of Stephanas." Beyond that, I don't know whether I baptized anyone.

Thank you. Thank you. Paul didn't remember who he baptized. Well, there are 10,000 things I don't remember, which may have been good or may have been bad. I don't know. I can't remember them. I'm absolutely hopeless if I try to rehearse my past and add things up like that.

The third reason, my heart is deceitful, recalls something good that weren't good. I'm going to deceive myself. Jeremiah 17, the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick. Who can understand it? And the fourth reason, Paul ponders his own record of faithfulness. And here's what he says, 1 Corinthians 4, 4, "I'm not aware of anything against myself, but I'm not thereby acquitted, is the Lord who judges me." In other words, even a good memory and a good record is not decisive.

Christ is decisive. So beware of thinking too highly of your memory, whether good or bad. Third, it's good to remember our sins and feel regret. It's good. Good to feel regret. Up to a point, and I say this again for four reasons. One, a life without regrets is built on a mirage.

If you don't see sins when you're looking back over your life and you don't regret those sins, you're not seeing reality. You're not feeling reality. You're seeing a mirage. We all have sinned. There were plenty of attitudes, words, deeds that were not for the glory of God, but selfish, not loving, but uncaring, not from faith, but from fear.

Plenty of things that came out of your mouth that were not designed for up-building, plenty of good paths taken with defective motives. A life without regrets is a life built on a mirage. Second, Paul said to the Gentile converts in Ephesus, Ephesians 2, "Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel, strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope without God in the world.

But now in Christ Jesus, you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ." Their memory of their regretful condition was commanded. Remember. Third, surely the reason for this, this memory, is that it deepens and intensifies our thankfulness for grace. And lastly, the reason for this remembering of sins in our lives, Paul never forgot his regretful past.

Writing near the end of his life, he said, "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am foremost." That was a regret, and he never forgot it. So I conclude it is good, it's good to remember our sins and feel regret.

And I said, "Up to a point." So my last consideration is, "What point?" So this is my fourth consideration. The time for forgetting. What is it? Philippians chapter 3, verse 13, Paul said this, "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own." That is, I haven't become perfect.

I haven't arrived yet. "One thing I do, forgetting." Here's the key word. Oh, Marvin, let's get this. "Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." So in Ephesians 2, Paul says, "Remember." And in Philippians 3, he says, "Forget." And if you say, "Well, when do you do which?" Here's my sense of what he means for us old men.

Wherever remembering our failures will help us fly to Christ, love Christ, rest in Christ, cherish grace, sing of mercy, serve with zeal, then let's get on with remembering and regretting. But wherever remembering begins to paralyze us with the weight of failure and remorse so that we don't love Christ more or cherish grace more or serve with greater energy, then let us forget and press on by the power of grace for the little time we have left.

That's the main word. Press on in faith for the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ. Magnificent. That's super helpful. Thank you, Pastor John. That was, I think, useful for a range of ages. All of us have regrets. And Marvin, thank you for the question.

Thank you for listening along. Be sure to subscribe to Ask Pastor John in your favorite podcast app or on YouTube. For our archive of episodes or to send in your own question, go to DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn. We are going to celebrate Thanksgiving here in the States on Thursday. So how do we feast to the glory of God?

And what does it mean to glorify God through the goodness of creation? Pastor John will lead us through 1 Timothy chapter 4 verses 1 to 5 next time. I'm your host Tony Reinke. We'll see you on Wednesday. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.