So we got a question from Michael. He's a 41 41 year old engineer from the UK. This is what he has to say I have worked hard to clarify ideas outside of my work that feel important to me. However, I still struggle for example Creating a garden is something I've always envisioned in my life for a long time But now that I'm doing it, it feels like endless drudgery labor and effort However, I've sunk so much effort and expense into getting here.

I cannot just reset and walk away Is it normal to find conflict between one's cultivation of a deep life on paper and how it actually happens in the real world? That's an interesting question Let me give you a short answer in a long answer Michael. The short answer is stop gardening.

I Won't tell anyone Jesse won't tell anyone You don't like it and I get it Like here in DC. Here's what I've learned It's often the season in which you'd be maintaining a garden or a yard It's often terrible outside and it's not that fun Because the humidity is roughly Whatever it is, I don't know how to measure humidity.

I guess dew point the humidity is terrible. You're in a swamp. It's hot There's bugs and there's mosquitoes and you know, this is why God invented air conditioning. So I'm stop garden. You don't like it long answer and we talked about this last week to be wary about a Mental conception of the deep life that is too heavily focused on hobbies That is not going to be a successful recipe if all you think about is What do I do outside of work in terms of my leisure time?

What's going to be like interesting and fulfilling to me? It's too self-focused That stuff matters, but it cannot be central to your conception of the deep life If you go back and think about the deep life bucket, so we're talking about craft community constitution contemplation and celebration what you talk about as hobbies is maybe just in Celebration.

I mean, I don't know if you acted the Constitution maybe like there's some exercise you do that could be hobbyist sometimes in craft There could be something like you're really into an instrument. You might put that on their craft, but most of the deep life is more about Keeping your body in shape serving your community Engaging your brain in the world of ideas and philosophy and theology so that you can be a moral intellectual being so that you can follow Aristotle's theory that it is in deep thought that humans reach their Deepest potential it's craft.

Okay. I'm spending my 80,000 hours in my life in a job Like what am I doing? Am I producing things of value? Am I am I a leader to other people and my a useful member my community a lot of that is not What's gonna make me, you know entertain me?

What's going to be something that's kind of fun to do And so if you really go through those buckets one by one, the reason why this works is that the human brain is not So happy if all it thinks about is how do I make myself happy? You know, how do I be happy in the moment?

Like that's important in moderation, but basically the history of ideas tells us that just the hedonic pursuit of What's going to be fun doesn't work as an organizing principle for life So when celebration is just this one part like having things you really enjoy doing then it's the stakes are lower You know You're doing other things that sacrifice and service and important and you're gonna be a lot more confident and fulfilled And then when it comes to that, let's say celebration bucket where it's like appreciating the things that makes life cool having gratitude Then I'm just going to suggest have a more experimental approach Don't dive in fully into something that you hope will be something you really like because you might not So garden, I don't know Let me get a garden box and see if I like that minimal impact if I really like it expand out with that bucket Larger and larger people who have these big all-consuming hobbies usually work their way incrementally.

You have to discover what's the right fit for you So just don't go into it. Don't just say like I want to be a cinephile. I think that'd be cool I'm gonna sign up for this film course and start watching all these movies. You might not actually like movies that much you're right, but instead if you're like, I've always liked movies and I've started to study them a little more and I'm enjoying that So now let me ratchet up to like go watch this series at the local theater now I'm gonna sign up for this film class when things ratchet up in terms of self-directed autonomous non-instrumental hobbies That's how you figure out what you really like.

Okay, so stop gardening. You don't like that experiment with other things but remember that is just one small piece out of many on what goes into making a deep life and most of what makes a deep life deep As much less about what is gonna make me happy tomorrow and more about what's gonna make my life feel more grounded What's gonna make my life feel more?

centered and meaningful and important and that's a very different than enjoying pruning your roses *outro music* *outro music* *outro music* *outro music* *outro music* *outro music*