I'm not teaching good side of life. So I had to figure out a way when I came on in 2016 of teaching you what life really is for the majority of us is hell. And so while people love to show you the cars and the house and the vacations and shit, all that's good, all that's happy.

I'm gonna show you the side that I know most of you are going through. And people hide very well. I don't want to hide anymore. I hid for 24 fucking years. That's why now I told you, we can talk about whatever you want. Because as human beings, the first thing we have to learn, I also stuttered real bad growing up.

So if you hear me stutter every now and then, it's because that was part of my life also. So it's funny, human beings want to show you the best side, and they want to hide the worst side. For me, I'm gonna teach you how to be vulnerable. Cuz that's the only way you fix yourself.

You don't fix yourself by coming out here and me selling you some fucking books. That's why I don't have them, I forgot them. I'm glad people got something from the book. I want you to learn that the only way you grow is how to look at yourself and say, okay, like I did, table longer than this.

What the fuck I have to do to get somewhere? There was nothing good on there, nothing. Yeah, I love playing basketball, I left that out. That's something I love to do. I don't care about that, that didn't make the fucking list. Cuz the list that I had to live by was the very list that was to get me at this table with you, to talk to you, to the normal human beings which I once was, about how you can get somewhere.

And how it looks, looks very ugly. There's no fucking passion, no fucking motivation, there's no, my God, man, I fucking, this is, no, it's every day of your life just doing. No passion, no discipline, no motivation, all these words, I hate people, I hate that so many people fucking use these words now cuz it's watered.

It's someone sitting in a room by themselves and they figure themselves out and say, God, this is gonna fucking suck. Where's passion when you're 300 pounds? Where's the motivation when you can't read and write? Where is it? So how did this happen? I just fucking did, I just did.

I said, maybe at the end of this journey, there'll be something there for me. If not, I can read, if not, I'm 185 fucking pounds. There's no magic potion, there's no, let me wake up and look at some shit, no. All those words are overused, they're bullshit, it's all bullshit, just do.

You're living, how do you wanna live? How do you wanna die? How do you wanna fucking be remembered? That's it, that's it, period. >> The word haunted is ringing in my head. >> Yep. >> I think it's such a powerful word. >> Yep. >> Because I was about to say, it seems like a huge part of your process, maybe the entire process is it's all stick, no carrot.

You talk about the carrot, the positive thing, and then there's the stick, the thing you're trying to avoid. >> Yep. >> Feel like it's, the way it's landing for me is, it's all stick and gas pedal. >> That's it. >> There's no carrot. You're not imagining, when I'm a paramedic, when the book is published.

And obviously you set those goals and you make those targets. >> Yep. >> But it's all stick. >> All stick. >> No carrot. >> Think about that. I'm waking up right now, studying, I have a test tomorrow. I already passed the fucking test. Think about that. Every day of my life, that's what I must do just to retain what I learned.

Four hours plus a day, I go through and do that. There's no stick, or there's only a stick. There's never been a carrot. Which is why, when I speak to people, I have to figure out a way to resonate with them. Because all I want to say to them is, let me teach you the real life.

How it really is. The reason why you're a loser, and the reason why you're not fucking making it. And the reason why you're trying to go through all these, I go to all these fucking conventions. Speak all the fucking time. I look in the fucking audience, and these people sign up, sign up, sign up.

Fucking every year, go to convention. Thinking they're gonna learn something fucking different. No, you're lazy, you know exactly what to do, exactly what to do. Cuz even me, in my state of, I can't read or write, I knew exactly what to do. It just sucks doing it. It sucks to do it.

It sucks to wake up every morning of your life and say, God, man, I'm not smart. So guess what I gotta do? I gotta study the same shit that I got one of the highest scores in the nation on. And do it again, do it again, do it again.

It's not just there, it's not just there permanently for me. So yeah, it's all stick, it's all stick. The only care that you have is like, maybe, maybe. Cuz whenever I take these tests that are real hard, in the back of my brain, it's like, there's a good chance you're not gonna make it, Goggins.

This ain't you, bro, this ain't you, you weren't born like this. This ain't you, the real you, bro, study all you want to. But the second that fucking computer comes on with 150 questions, this ain't you, man. Somehow, comes back, I passed, I passed again, passed again. But that real me back here every fucking time is saying, that ain't you, bro.

That ain't you, and I have to outwork that voice. When I'm taking that test and I get to a question, I don't fucking know the answer. I'm like, fuck, man. And then say, I told you, man, that ain't you, you're 300 pounds, man. You sit at home, you figure out how to do your hair, that's what you do.

How to come to school with the reverse baldness when you're 16, that's you. So there is no get out of jail free card. This is why I say stay hard. Because when you weren't given the gifts, the only thing you can do in life is stay hard. And I know people cannot stand me, they can't stand this talk.

This is all you can do, there's no magic pill or a magic potion. All you can do is outwork the man that God created or woman in you. And what that looks like is unfun. That's why I said, do not do a documentary on me. Because people will not see the truth.

They will see what they wanna see is, I don't wanna live like that, good, good. And you will live exactly the way you live now, questioning who you are, wondering what is possible, wondering what you are capable of doing. That's how that looks, or you can be me, which, am I happy?

I don't know, never thought about it, don't really care about it. Cuz all I really cared about was when I looked in that fucking mirror, I saw a piece of shit. Happiness wasn't on the mirror at 16, or I was 300 pounds. It wasn't like, I'm looking for happiness.

No, I'm looking at myself in the mirror and say, all right, motherfuck, you did it again today. You're a bad boy, cuz that shit sucks. I have about a couple minutes of that, when I got the carrot. The second I lay down to go to bed, the carrot's gone, because I'm waking up all through the night to check the work I did that day.

Did I get this drug right? Did I get this right? Did I get that right? What did I do? My God, fuck, I'm already losing it, it's a stick.