(upbeat music) - Lately we are working our way through some frank questions from married couples. And we have an email from a husband today. "Pastor John, my wife and I are happy "and thank God a healthy couple. "We live in Mexico City and we are in our late 30s.

"We have been Christians since our adolescence. "We have two kids and one more coming in the next month, "a great blessing for us. "We would like to know what the Bible teaches "about birth control, especially permanent surgeries "like a vasectomy or other options out there for men. "Are permanent birth control decisions "aligned with God's will?" - Let me talk through, walk through principles that have guided me in this.

Been married for 46 years. We have used various methods of, I like the term conception control now and it'll be clear why before we're done. Abortion is birth control and I don't like that. I don't claim infallibility here, of course, and we have to talk so carefully when there are no very direct instructions in scripture.

In Genesis 2.18, so I'm gonna go back now. This may not make sense at first, but it'll start making sense in about two minutes. In Genesis 2.18, it says, "The Lord said, 'It is not good for man to be alone.'" Now that makes marriage normal and good. And then if you add Genesis 1.28, be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth.

Now the normal good reality of marriage is strengthened with the normal rightness and corporate obligation on humanity to have babies and fill the earth with faithful image bearers. Then comes the fall. So you see, you've got marriage and baby having as virtually normative before the fall. Then comes the fall of man into sin and what was normal and good and to be expected and a corporate obligation on humanity, what becomes of it?

Well, astonishingly, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 2.19, 1 Corinthians 7, that he loves his singleness and he wishes everybody could be in his condition. He says in 1 Corinthians 7.7, "I wish that all were as I myself am." But he knows that's not gonna happen and it's not God's will.

Each one has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another, as though singleness might be a gift from God. I mean, he's like, "Whoa, whatever happened to Genesis 2.18? It's not good for man to be alone." And then he explains why in chapter seven, verses 32 to 34 of 1 Corinthians, "I want you to be free from anxieties.

The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he can please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how he can please his wife and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.

But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband." That's amazing. And here's what I infer from it, that there are realities that came into the world after the fall that make life more complicated than it was before the fall in regard to marriage and having children.

If there were no sin, if there were no need for a world mission of sacrifice and martyrdom and suffering, then everybody marrying and everybody having children would be virtually an absolute. In other words, if we live before the fall. But we don't live in that world, and other factors determine how we live.

So Paul is not driven by Genesis 2.18, "It is good for men, not good for men to be alone." He's driven, he's not even driven by Genesis 1.28, "Be fruitful and fill the earth," by having babies. He's driven by reach all the nations, pour out your energies to present them obedient and mature in Christ.

Be ready to go to prison in every city you visit. Be ready to be in danger on every road, in every river, in every city. Be ready to die at any moment, Paul. That's what's driving Paul. That call of God on his life in a fallen age to be a unique instrument to spread the gospel.

For him, that meant singleness, which is a very effective birth control if you're chaste. So I infer from this pattern that the post-fall order of redemption qualifies the pre-fall order of creation that applies to both marriage and having children. Having them, I would say, is not an absolute command anymore.

What principles then should guide a couple? That's what they really asked, I think, and here are five principles that I draw out of that reflection. Number one, sex is not just for procreation, but for Christ-exalting delight, Song of Solomon, and for protection against sexual temptation, 1 Corinthians 7, 5.

So I don't think a Christian couple is obliged to aim at procreation each time they have sexual relations. That's principle number one. Number two, not killing a conceived child is a top-level Christian commitment, which means not getting an abortion and not using a contraceptive that works as an abortifacient.

And from that, I mean, from the little reading that I have done, I think most of the pills do run the risk of functioning as an abortifacient. I'm no authority there, I can't say that. I just know reading Randy Alcorn on this has given me much pause, because Randy's very vigilant on this, and I respect that a lot.

I think, I mean, one of the things I tremble most about from 45 years ago is whether Noelle and I may have inadvertently aborted a baby because of pills that I wasn't even thinking in those terms, that some of these pills work that way. So that's principle number two.

Whatever method of guarding against conception that you use, don't go the route of aborting fertilized eggs, which have become human beings. Number three, don't make long-term commitments to sterility when you don't have sufficient information to know if it's wise. So that's good at getting at their vasectomy and tube tying question.

Unless you know that these operations are affordably reversible, tying the tubes, getting a vasectomy, may be presumptuous in the mind of God, not pleasing to God. I have told couples many times over the years, premarital counseling and after, what if your spouse dies? So say you're 30 years old.

What if your spouse dies? And two years later, healed in measure, you remarry a woman or a man who really wants to have children with you. And you've already made that impossible. Those are the kinds of circumstances I mean, when I say you may not have information to tell you that it's wise to do this now.

And there are other situations that I could think of as well. So I would just caution that kind of permanent sterilization. Number four, principle number four to guide us. Avoiding conception may or may not intrude upon the rights of God to decide the number of your children. A lot of people are concerned like, do I have any right to do anything here?

Isn't that God's prerogative? It would intrude, I think, if you pursue contraception for your own selfish ends and not his priorities. But I don't think it would intrude on his rights and priorities if you humbly submit to biblical principles and guidelines like these that I'm trying to develop here.

Then you become, I think, an instrument of God's sovereignty, not an intrusion. And the last one, the last principle to guide us. Don't decide against children because they're a burden to your lifestyle of travel and free evenings. In other words, everything I have been saying assumes a radical commitment to kingdom purposes, not worldly conveniences.

If we decide to have children or not to have children, let it be worshipfully because we have said yes to God's radical call on our lives, not selfishly, because it spares us some discomfort. - Excellent counsel, Pastor John, thank you. And this is one of many questions from married couples we have received on sex, which we have addressed and which you can find in our new landing page.

Go to DesiringGod.org. At the top of the page, click on the tab that says More, and then click on Ask Pastor John. And there you can search hundreds of past episodes, get the free apps, ask John Piper a baffling question or a follow-up question, all that. And it's all made possible because of our generous financial donors who are behind the mission of Desiring God and who make this podcast possible.

So thank you to all of the donors out there listening. I'm your host, Tony Reinke. I'll see you on Monday. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)