Do you use any of these tactics with family and friends? I do. I think the biggest one that I use is the word because the thing that happens in conversations is we say what happened is factual. It's interesting, but it doesn't tell me why you're doing something, why it matters.

The problem is if I say, well, tell me why you feel that way, or tell me why you did that. I'm putting you in this self-evaluation mode that you can't really tap into in a conversation. Even with a therapist, you have a hard time doing it. But if you're telling me that you did this and you did that.

And I say, because now I'm just handing you the next word for you to have to respond to it, I'm almost insisting that you tell me I'm creating a gap that you feel you have to fill in. I say, because you feel like you have to pick that up and say, well, because I wasn't feeling very good because I'm feeling this way that now you understand why, because it's an easy one to use with people.