(upbeat music) - Charlie writes in to ask a sobering question. Pastor John, what can a person do to restore the softness of their conscience? I once had a softer conscience towards impurity, injustice, and sin in general. I desire to restore my heart to a sensitive state, but feel as though time and the world have made it very calloused.

I want sin to bother me more. How can one gain back a tender and sensitive heart towards these things? - I love the spirit of that question. It's a beautiful longing, and it points in a frightening way to a really clear biblical reality, namely that believers can drift into calloused, hard, indifferent frames of heart.

Basically, Charlie, I think, is asking how to reclaim his heart when Hebrews 3, 12 to 13 has begun to happen. Here's what that says. Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God, but exhort one another every day, as long as it is called a day, that none of you may be hardened, none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

So we're hardened by sin's deceit, and Charlie has described it clearly. He said, "I once had a softer conscience "toward impurity and justice, sin in general. "I want it back. "I want to restore that sensitivity "so that I won't be callous. "I want sin to bother me more. "How can I gain back a tender, sensitive heart?" And that's exactly what Hebrews 3, 13 says.

We can lose, we can become hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. So I'm very, very thankful that God has arrested Charlie before it's too late, which he clearly has in the way he's asking that question. The key in this text is pretty clear. Sin is deceitful. Don't be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

It lies to us. It tells us that there's no problem with doing wrong, thinking wrong, watching wrong, speaking wrong. It lies to us. And the solution to the hardening effect of those lies is truth. The opposite of being deceived is being shown the truth, seeing and loving the truth.

So here's what I would suggest to Charlie. Number one, these are from my experience and from the Bible. Number one, get a copy of Jonathan Edwards' book, "The Religious Affections." You get paperback, and I would suggest, not a paraphrase, but the original wording. "No book had a greater impact on making me hate my sin and long for holiness as much as that book." There may be other books that do it better for different people, but in 1971, '72, sitting in a rocking chair on Sunday evenings, reading that book very slowly, was a unforgettably devastating and glorious experience of being filled with the horrors of sin and the glories of holiness and the desire for the latter.

Number two, recently I read Stephen Westerholm's new little book, "Justification Reconsidered," and there's a chapter in there on the depth and seriousness of sin, and it had a very similar effect. So if you want a shorter, small thing, that little chapter on Paul's view of the exceeding sinfulness of sin, in other words, we just need help from the Westerholms and the Edwardses of the world who have thought deeply and seen deeply about these things.

We need to be confronted with truth about sin so that it wallops us like it may not be walloping us when we are reading the Bible for ourselves because we've got some kind of blinders on that these guys may break through. Number three, on the other side, God uses beautiful portraits of purity and holiness to fill us with a longing for goodness and a tenderizing, a melting sense of how wonderful it would be to be a kind and godly and tenderhearted person.

So here I would say, get Jonathan Edwards, "Heaven is a World of Love." It's the last chapter of "Charity and Its Fruits," which is an exposition of 1 Corinthians 13. And the whole book might have the same effect, but for me, that chapter was one of the most glorious and beautiful descriptions of holiness and goodness and beauty and what God is for us and what we can be in Him.

I was just blown away reading that with my wife years ago. Number four, pray that God would deliver you. And so underline the word pray. Pray that God would deliver you from hardness and make you tender. Believe it or not, Charlie, I have on my phone an app called Do in which I can set reminders for me.

And I have a reminder set for every single day, the verse, "Be kind to one another, "tenderhearted, forgiving one another." And I chose that verse as a daily reminder. It's been there for weeks because of the word tenderhearted, because I felt like you. I don't want to grow calloused or hard towards God, towards my daughter, towards my wife, towards my kids, towards anybody.

I want to be a tenderhearted man with a steel of spine, but a heart of warmth and kindness and patience. And so join me in daily prayer reminders to go hard after God in asking Him to do that miracle. Number five, surround yourselves with those who are sensitive to sin and who love holiness.

That's the point in the text, isn't it? Exhort one another every day as long as it is called today, lest there be this hard heart in you. So evidently community is helpful. And a text that doesn't get quoted very often because I think we tend to think it might be a little bit moralistic.

First Corinthians 15, 33, Paul said, "Bad company corrupts good morals." And I read it in Greek this morning just to make sure I had it. And it's interesting that it is talking about, when it says good morals, it's kind morals, kindness. It corrupts kindness. And so I would say, I don't know who you're hanging out with but a lot of Christians I think are trying to be missional by hanging out with worldly people.

And it turns out they're not being missional, they're being malleable. You didn't convert them, they conformed you. And so now you're loving all the same things they love because you were watching all the same movies and hearing all the same stories and using all the same language. And suddenly you realized, I guess I wasn't being as missional as I thought I was.

And I was just enjoying myself with ungodly people and I have absorbed their values. And if that's the case, you probably need some new friends who are loving holiness and loving or hating sin. Last piece of counsel. Be in a worshiping community where every Sunday you stand with God's people in heartfelt praise to God for His mercy.

Focus on the beautiful love of Jesus for you in worship. In particular, say with Paul, sing with Paul. He loved me and gave himself for me. I close with this because it's been my experience in all my pastoral ministry that to stand and let the singing of the people cascade over me while I join them in it, it has been melting and softening to my soul, my heart, like few things have been.

- Thank you, Pastor John. And thank you, Charlie, for the humble question. If you have a question for Pastor John, please email it into us at askpastorjohn@desiringgod.org. And there were a couple of book recommendations in this podcast. First, an old book by Jonathan Edwards titled "Charity and Its Fruits." Most recently, that book has been edited by Kyle Strobel and released in 2012 by Crossway under the title "Charity and Its Fruits, Living in the Light of God's Love." Also, Pastor John mentioned a new little book, "Justification Reconsidered" by Stephen Westerholm.

Both books can be found online. Well, can a sovereign God ever be surprised? That's the question tomorrow, and it comes from a curious little passage in Jeremiah 19, verses four and five. Until then, I'm your host, Tony Reinke. Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)