Good Monday. We're back, and we're back to the theme of gender confusion. We have a load of emails on the topic, on this theme, and we're slowly working through them. Right now, you might remember at the end of last year, we fielded a question from a nurse who worked in "gender reassignment surgery" in pre-op and post-op.

She doesn't make the decision. She only offers care. Should she stay or find another job? That was APJ 1881. And then we took up an email from a young woman entertaining the idea of erasing her gender. That was more recent in APJ 1909. Today we address the gender question inside a local church.

The question is from a listener named Cindy. Pastor John, hello and thank you for this podcast. It is a place meant to receive challenging questions, and I have one to ask of you. We have a young couple in our local church congregation that lets their small son wear dresses.

They seem to let him choose most of what he wants to do. We, of course, see a lot of danger in this parenting method. They were asked to leave a previous church over this issue. What would be your approach to helping these parents with Scripture on this issue? I think the first thing to say is that they do need to be addressed.

In other words, we shouldn't evade the issue in the church, but realize that in a culture like ours, especially, not only, but especially, where God's created order of manhood and womanhood is being undermined, not only by the sinful celebration of same-sex romance and the legalization of so-called same-sex marriage, but also by the so-called transgender denial that there is such a thing as God-given stable sexuality.

In view of that cultural reality, we should realize that parents who encourage their girls to dress like boys or boys to dress like girls or let them should be pastorally approached first with questions, trying to understand what they think. And then, if necessary, with admonitions based on Scripture. And of course, we're not so naive as to be ignorant that there is now, and there always has been, an overlap between the way boys and girls and men and women dress.

That's not a new thing. But it is just as true that in every culture and in every age, along with that overlap, there have been cultural symbols in hairstyles and clothing and adornment which signaled the difference between masculinity and femininity. So, what we need today is to help each other and parents in particular to bring up the next generation in the wise and faithful use of those cultural symbols to reflect and embrace God's beautiful ordering of manhood and womanhood.

So, if I were counseling parents who seemed oblivious to the importance of bringing up children to embrace their God-given sex as male or female, I would remind them of at least six biblical realities in the hope that they would gladly submit to God's Word and adjust their parenting strategies.

First, God created man, male and female, Genesis 1:26. Then God said, "Let us make man in our image after our likeness." So, God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. And God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth." God did not create a generic human designed to choose his sex.

He created males to be males and females to be females. Boys and girls should be taught this from the very beginning of their lives as a great and wonderful thing. Number two, God created man, male and female so that there would be a beautiful and happy and fruitful complementarity in marriage.

So, Genesis 2:24, "A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Now, God's design of the one flesh union of male and female in marriage in the act of sexual intercourse is a confirmation that the way he created us is not negligible.

It was part of his plan for our good, for filling the earth, for our joy, our pleasure. Boys and girls should be raised toward this natural outcome of their sexuality. Whether they marry or not in God's providence, we should raise them with the conviction that the difference between boys and girls is designed for this beautiful outcome, the one flesh union in marriage of a man and a woman.

Number three, we should help the parents see that God takes these sexual differences so seriously that he bases leadership roles on them. In 1 Timothy 2.12, he assigns the authoritative teaching and governing role in the church to men. And in Ephesians 5.22-24 and Colossians 3.18-19, he assigns the headship of the family to the husband and father.

The natural superior strength of men is drawn out by Peter in 1 Peter 3.7 as a reason why women should receive special honor as the weaker vessel, as well as another kind of honor as the fellow heirs of the grace of life. Children should be brought up with the awareness that their sexuality matters that much and in that way.

Four, what follows then is that parents should in a natural way encourage their boys not to embrace effeminate ways of dressing or acting. And they should not encourage their girls to embrace masculine ways of dressing or acting. In most situations, these things come very naturally and a parent doesn't need to be fastidious about them.

The parent can simply redirect a child's attention away from experimentation with cross-dressing or excessive interest in behaviors that are almost certainly going to confuse a child's sexuality. The Bible warns boys and men, for example, against effeminacy. In 1 Corinthians 6.9, you have to look at the King James Version to see that most clearly.

The later versions coalesce it with other translations about homosexuality. But it's really there that boys should not be effeminate. They should move against culturally confusing hairstyles, for example, in 1 Corinthians 11.14. And it warns men and women against cross-dressing in Deuteronomy 22.5. So, these cultural symbols of what manhood is and womanhood is become significant.

Number five. Therefore, parenting should take all of this into account because Ephesians 6.4 says, "Bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." And that instruction, as it regards sexuality, includes at least these previous four points. And finally, number six. It should help the parents feel there is a special urgency about these things in our day and that if they don't help their children in a natural and happy way to grow up into mature manhood or mature womanhood, they may be serving a wave of cultural rebellion against God that is not only destructive to their children but to the world at large.

Now, of course, let me say again that we come to parents first with questions for the sake of understanding, not first with condemnation because we don't even know what's in their minds. And we come with prayer and with an awareness that our own imperfections need to be dealt with by ourselves all the time.

Few things, and we all know this if we've had any experience at all, few things are more volatile than suggesting to parents that they're not doing a good job parenting. Wow, you want to get somebody's dander up. Say that. Wisdom and courage, therefore, are required here. We should not shrink back from giving biblical counsel just because it's relationally difficult.

Most acts of love that involve correction are difficult. But God has promised grace for every good work, and this is one of them. Thank you, Pastor John. And as a sub-theme in this episode, I hear in the original question the danger of a child-centric home, homes where children control the atmosphere, which sets the stage for the clothing dilemma here.

Warnings on the child-centric home have been sounded twice in the podcast in APJs 437 and 1066. You can check them out, and you can find APJs 437 and 1066 at AskPastorJohn.com. God commands us to love him. He commands us to delight in him. He commands our cheerfulness. It may sound odd to say it that way, but it's not unbiblical, as we'll see next time.

I'm your host, Tony Reinke, and we'll see you back here on Wednesday. Thanks for listening. (Music playing) (Music playing) (Thanks for watching)