Is it sinful to desire death as an escape from the pain of this world and to escape the pain caused by our own sinfulness? Marissa, a listener to the podcast, is brave enough to ask it. Dear Pastor John, is it a sin to long to go home? I am a 31 year old and my life is ruined.

I dread the rest of my life. Because of sin, I have lost everyone I love most, and I mean everyone. I feel like my very poor choices can't be redeemed while here on earth even though I have repented and confessed of my sins. I am terrified of what awaits me including having to remain single until I die because of an ensuing divorce that I don't want but did cause, and never having the blessing of forming a family.

Is it a sin to want to go home and to be with Jesus? Your teachings are among the few things that keep me going. Pastor John, what would you say to Marissa? Marissa, let me give what I think is a clear biblical answer in general to your question and then circle around to your situation in particular with some, I pray, hopeful words.

The biblical answer in general is that it is not a sin to long for heaven and for the presence of Christ with a sense of aching dismay over the sin and sorrows of this world and of our own lives. In fact, I would say that the more one knows of the real condition of this world and the more one grieves over the remaining corruption of our own hearts, the more natural it is to long for heaven and Christ.

"Oh, that day when freed from sinning I shall see his lovely face, full arrayed in blood-washed linen, how I'll sing his sovereign grace. Come, come, my Lord, no longer tarry, bring thy promises to pass, for I know thy power will keep me till I'm home with thee at last." When Robert Robeson wrote that verse of "Come, Thou Fount" 150 years ago, he was not mentally unstable.

He was full of the Holy Spirit, full of grace, full of wisdom, and full of longing, a longing that every saint tastes. That's what we long for, the day when we'd be free from sinning, the thing we want most to be free of in this life is dishonoring the Lord by our own sin.

I mean, there are troubles in the world and there are pain in the world, but the most grievous thing is sin in our own soul in the world. So Paul says more than once, Philippians 1, 21, "My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better." And then he adds, "But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.

And convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith." Or here he is again, 2 Corinthians 5, 6-9, "We are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body, we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith and not by sight.

Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord." There it is, so clear. So whether we are away or at home, we make it our aim to please Him. So there's the biblical answer, Marissa, in general. To long to be at home with the Lord is not a sin.

It is biblical, and it is healthy. Now the reason I say that's the general answer is that I can imagine a situation when it would be a sin to want to die and go to be with Jesus. Did you notice that in both Philippians 1 and 2 Corinthians 5, Paul knew that going home to be with Jesus was not yet God's will for him, and he took this from the hand of God with confidence that God would give him the strength and the grace for the life that was not his first choice, the life he was going to live as he remained on the earth.

He said, "I know that I will remain and continue with you all," though my first choice would be to go and be with the Lord. And the key is found in 2 Corinthians 5, where he says, "We walk by faith and not by sight." And that brings me to your situation, Marissa.

I want to encourage you that the ruin and dread that you see in front of you for the rest of your life is not in fact reality. At least it need not be. Here are your key phrases. They're very bleak. My life is ruined. I dread the rest of my life.

I feel like my very poor choices can't be redeemed while on the earth. I am terrified of what awaits me. But Jesus would say, "When you say this, is this faith talking or sight talking?" We live by faith and not by sight. Is this faith talking or is this sight talking?

Jesus is calling you, Marissa, to walk by faith and not by sight. I agree. From what you can see—see with the eyes of your head—from what you can see, the future looks hopeless, dreadful, terrifying, unredeemable. That's true. It does. But that's just not the way you have to live.

We walk by faith, not by sight. And remember—this is so amazing—Paul said this about himself. He said this in the same breath as saying, "We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord." He wasn't blind. He knew that his future on earth would be full of sorrow, full of pain.

Listen to this verse from Acts 20.23. "The Holy Spirit testifies to me in every city that imprisonment and afflictions await me." It wasn't a possibility for Paul. It was guaranteed. Pain is on the way, Paul. Till you have your head chopped off, it's on the way. He's not going to be ripped out of a life of comfort when he's martyred.

He's going to be ripped out of a life of misery when he's martyred. He had no prospect of retirement with ease. He would be killed for Christ in the midst of afflictions, not the midst of comfort. That's what he saw with the eyes of the flesh. But with the eyes of faith, he saw miracles happening in him and through him.

So he said, "Whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him." So here's a promise for you, Marissa. I believe God has given me this for you. Isaiah 58, verse 10, "If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noon day." The Lord will guide you, Marissa, continually, and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong.

And you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters do not fail. And then Isaiah 56, "I will give in my house and within my walls, I will give you a monument and a name better than sons and daughters. I will give you an everlasting name that shall not be cut off." So yes, Marissa, long for heaven, long for Christ, long for the day when we will sin no more, but trust His promises now, like Paul, as he faced a painful future and walked by faith, not by sight.

God's promise for you is fruit in the midst of this sorrow. Thank you, Pastor John, and thank you for the question, Marissa. You know, we sometimes get emails from people struggling with depression, so it's really important to implore you. If you are struggling with ongoing depression, you need to bring this to the attention of your pastor, your doctor, and likely to a counselor, too.

You will need the kind of in-person help that we cannot offer through this podcast. And if this is true of someone you know struggling with depression, too, you need to help them find help. As we talked about on this podcast, depression is complex, from low-grade depression to debilitating depression.

It's all made complex by this marriage of our physical and spiritual lives together. But I can assure you, depression is not uncommon to Christians. If you struggle here, you're not alone, and you should not remain alone. Many Christians have struggled, and there is nothing to be ashamed of in speaking up and seeking out help.

Well, Wednesday we return to take up one of the increasingly common questions faced by pastors, and that is when a gay couple is converted and regenerated, or even if one partner is, and he or she needs wisdom on how to proceed in thinking about their living arrangements, what should be done?

What counsel should be offered by the pastor? This is not a hypothetical question, trust me. It's one we see more and more as pastors send in email questions to the inbox, and it's a question on the table on Wednesday. I'm your host Tony Renke, we'll see you then. 1.

What counsel should be offered by the pastor? 2. Should a gay couple be converted? 3. Should a pastor be a Christian? 4. Should a gay couple be a Christian? 5.