Throughout the arc of Radical Personal Finance, I've sought to emphasize for you some themes that I believe are very, very important and are often underrepresented in the world of financial advice. One of those themes that I've encouraged you to continually focus on is to put money in its rightful place.

Money is important, but it's not of utmost importance. It's not of the highest importance. In fact, if you were to sit down and to write down a list of the things in your life that are important, if you were to be honest about it, I think you'd have to put money pretty far down the list.

Now the trick with money, of course, is that it influences all those other things. So in many ways, it doesn't even belong on the list because money is the fuel. It's the energy that allows so many other important things to be accomplished. It's engaged in part of every other aspect of life.

But money is not of utmost importance. I was reminded of this over the weekend. I was reading my friend J.D. Roth's website, getrichslowly.org, really well-done website. J.D. Roth, he's been on the show, a personal friend of mine. He's one of the people in the world of personal finance that I most enjoy spending time with.

He started Get Rich Slowly back in 2006 in the early days of the online financial blogosphere, built the site up to be one of the leading personal finance sites, sold it. That capitalized him to a place of being financially independent. He retired. You all know how much I love that word.

He retired for a number of years. Recently, he bought the site back from the people that he sold it to and he's taken back over control of it and he's been steadily writing again. He wrote an article over the weekend called On the Importance of Putting First Things First.

It's very well done. J.D. has a philosophical bent. He's well-studied in philosophy and he does a good job on discussions like this to really articulate the things that matter. I want to read you one tiny excerpt from his essay. Again, this is entitled On the Importance of Putting First Things First.

He writes this, "Here's a classic example. Yesterday in the Financial Independence Forum on Reddit, an anonymous user posted a heartbreaking story about losing the love of his life because he was too focused on money, too obsessed with how and what, and not enough on why. Here's his story." Now we're reading the quoted post from the Reddit user.

"I should be clear, it's because I obsessed over FI, financial independence, FI, and ignored my life goals. Together for seven years, living together for most of it, she was perfect for me and was also very frugal. I had it all. I read the sticky post, 'Find the life you want to live and save for it,' or whatever it's called, but I didn't take it to heart.

I thought I was doing this. I didn't understand. I was so wrong. I was blind. I was living the life I wanted to, but I was ignoring the life that my partner wanted. I didn't spend money with her to do the things she really valued. I didn't buy plane tickets to go visit her family with her when she desperately wanted me to come.

My whole life I said I wanted kids and then discovered FI and changed my mind because they were too expensive. I refused to buy nicer furniture for our apartment and made her embarrassed about our place and not comfortable in her own home. Over and over I made this mistake and we drifted apart.

She wasn't asking for much, just for things she really valued. She is frugal. I was selfish and I lost sight of the fact I always wanted kids. I realize this all now, but it's too late. I told her all of this, but it's too late. Don't be me. Examine every facet of your life and think about it.

I regret it all. FI ruined my life, but it's my fault, not FI's fault. It was my obsession. So here's my advice. Focus on the life you want to live, but compromise with your partner too because I'd trade all the money in my bank for that relationship back. And once you're in the boring middle, focus on what makes you and your family happy today.

Don't be me. Don't get obsessed. Live in the present." End of quote. I hope you hear the pain in that post and I hope you take that pain to heart because wisdom ensures that you'll listen to other people's pain and avoid the causes of that pain. It's a fool who says, "I need to experience everything myself.

I have to see everything myself. I have to know everything myself." And it's a wise man who says, "I'm going to learn from the example of others." Don't be a fool. When somebody who is obsessed and committed to financial independence writes these words, focus on the life you want to live, but compromise with your partner too because I'd trade all the money in my bank for that relationship back.

You should pay attention. Now let's say that your marriage or your, I don't know what to call these relationships, your romantic liaison is rock solid. You and your romantic partner share common goals, common values, a common approach. Everything is great. My friend, that's not the only relationship in your life that matters.

Now this is a big deal for me personally because I have this obsessive personality. It's very easy for me to become obsessed with things. When I grab onto something, I go into it as fast as possible. And that in some ways can be a blessing. It gives me the ability to do radical personal finance.

I get interested in a subject and I go and read dozens of books on it. I try and search out every idea that I can. I chart them all out. I organize this little mental map that I live by and I try to go all the way to the extreme end of it.

That's good, right? But it's also very bad because I share this obsessive personality where if I focused on Phi, I would do what this man did. I think that's part of why I have such a burden to help you and to help myself continue to avoid it. Money is easy to become obsessed about because it's so easily measured.

And since, as we learned from Drucker, what gets measured gets managed, money can be managed very well. And because it's so easily measured and so easily managed, it's easy to obsess over the numbers. There are very few other things in life that are so intensely numerical. It's very hard to put the quality of your relationship with your wife or your husband into a spreadsheet.

It's very hard for you to put your relationship with your children into a spreadsheet. You can find some metrics that are helpful. In the past, I tracked the number of hugs that I gave my wife per day because I realized I'm not hugging her enough. In fact, today, I'm going to say the words, I realized I'm not hugging her enough.

I need to add more hugs to my daily schedule. I have to track something to build it. But the number of hugs that I give my wife on a daily basis doesn't actually predict the quality of my relationship. They contribute, but it's not a perfectly predictive factor. There are some things that are even more easily measured than the quality of relationships, something like your weight or your blood pressure.

But we all know that those are not de facto guarantees of good health. Good health goes far beyond the numbers on a scale. But money is so numerical and it's easy to be obsessed over and it's easy to lose perspective. I beg you, do not lose perspective. Recognize the value of money in your life, but do not lose the perspective.

I want to emphasize this on two levels. One is the level that this anonymous writer on Reddit wrote about. The money in your relationships here, now, in your life. Recognize what you may miss out on. Would you really trade an extra few hundred dollars or extra few thousand dollars in your bank account for a chance to sit down with your grandparents and hear their stories again face to face?

They will be dead and gone before you know it. How's your relationship with your mom and dad? Have you taken the time to embrace them and to engage with them and to listen to them and to let your relationship grow? Some people's relationships with their parents start off good, go bad, and never change.

Some people's relationships with their parents start good and get better throughout their lifetime. Some people's relationships start good, get bad, and then get better for the rest of their life. But it's worth spending money and time and effort and energy on those relationships. Go down the list. Think about your friends.

Think about your family. Think about those you love. And don't prioritize your money over the people. That's the first level. I couldn't help though, of course, I think about the second level, which is to think from an eternal perspective. And I immediately thought of the account that's recorded from Jesus of the account of the rich man in heaven and the poor man, sorry, the rich man in hell and the poor man Lazarus.

And I pulled out and found it in my Bible and I read it. And it just, to me, is so utterly important to put this into perspective. I want to read you this story. If you're not a regular Bible reader, this particular one, this particular story for context comes from the book of Luke.

Book of Luke is really the only history book in the Bible from a strict sense. Luke was not a man who, he wasn't one of Jesus' disciples. He never met Jesus. He never knew Jesus personally. He was a physician who, after Jesus died and rose again and the church was founded, he was a physician from, and he wasn't even a Jew.

He wasn't most of Jesus, all of Jesus' disciples were Jews in the early years, but Luke himself wasn't a Jew. He was a Syrian. And he, through a series of circumstances that I won't take the time to talk about here, he went and he started to build this history of the life of Jesus.

And so Luke is the one who includes all of these interesting details and these things that aren't present in the other three gospels. The other three gospels were written by eyewitnesses to the life of Jesus, but Luke is different. Luke was a journalist. He was the one who went and interviewed all of the people who were around the life of Jesus.

For example, the only place that we get the details of Jesus' birth in detail come from the book of Luke. And historians would generally agree that that's because Luke would have taken the time to go and interview Mary, the mother of Jesus. And she was the one who knew these details, who knew the things that had happened, who knew the details of the conception of Jesus, who knew the details of the cousin of Jesus, John the Baptist, and Elizabeth, and all of these circumstances of their early years.

And so those all come from Luke. And Luke did it very, very carefully. He was a very precise man. When you're reading Luke, you get much more precise language than you read in others of the gospels. For example, Luke, especially with medical terms. Luke was a doctor, and so it's interesting you hear constantly this medical terminology when Jesus healed Peter's mother-in-law.

The other gospel that that account is recorded in says that she had a fever. Luke says that she had a high fever, which is a medical terminology. Luke was the one who was really amazing when I studied the history of it. Luke was one who was very, very detailed in recording many of the healing miracles that Jesus did.

He was very precise with the medical details. And so he records in his gospel, he records this account of Jesus preaching about the rich man and Lazarus. And this is Jesus who, remember, this is Jesus, the one who has the inside knowledge of what actually happens in the spirit world.

There are many in this world who are very perceptive spiritually. I'm always amazed to see this perceptiveness come out. And there are many who have an ability to see at a deeper level. Just last week, a friend of mine had an encounter with a witch on the street who was just amazing, this woman's spiritual perception just as their family was walking by.

But this is Jesus who's preaching and he's preaching about the rich man and Lazarus. I guess, forgive me, I forget that this is Radical Personal Finance and that I'm not preaching and so I go into too many details. But let me just read to you the account here. This is Jesus speaking.

He says this, "There was a rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. And at his gate was laid a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man's table. Moreover, even the dogs came and licked his sores.

The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. And in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he called out, 'Father Abraham, have mercy on me and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.' But Abraham said, 'Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus and like men are bad things.

But now he is comforted here and you are in anguish. And besides all this, between us and you, a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us.' And he said, 'Then I beg you, Father, to send him to my father's house, for I have five brothers so that he may warn them, lest they also come into this place of torment.' But Abraham said," one of the most chilling passages in scripture that I know of, "Abraham said, 'They have Moses and the prophets.

Let them hear them.' Then he said, 'No, Father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent.' He said to him, 'If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.'" Now I'll forego here in this context, preaching on that scripture passage for the next hour.

And I'll just simply emphasize this. Your money may buy you some certain pleasures, but those pleasures may be only for a season. There are things that go far beyond what your money can buy for you. We all believe it. You believe that. I believe that. But we don't all manage our money in accordance with that belief.

I recommend it to you. As we go, I want to play for you a song. It's two short songs put together. And I want to encourage you to think very carefully about the words of the song, because I was just struck at how valuable this is. And of course, the verse that is of most note is towards the end where it says, "Like a king I may live in a palace so tall, with great riches to call my own.

But I don't know a thing in this whole wide world that's worse than being alone." Friend, keep your money in its proper place. It's very important, but it's not of utmost importance. Live according to that truth. Don't live according to the idea that your money is most important. There's a great danger, and it's one that we all have to constantly, constantly be reminded to avoid.

Just one voice singing in the darkness. All it takes is one voice singing so they hear what's on your mind. And when you look around, you'll find there's more than one voice singing in the darkness. Singing in the darkness. Joining with your one voice. Each and every note, another octave, hence our joy and fears unlocked.

If only one voice would start out on its own, we need just one voice facing the unknown. And then that one voice would never be alone. It takes that one voice, just one voice singing in the darkness. All it takes is one voice, shout it out and let it ring.

Just one voice. It takes that one voice and everyone will see. Once I stood in the light with my head bowed low. I looked in the darkness as black as could be. Hold my hand all the way. Every hour, every day. From here to the great unknown. Take my hand, let me stand where no one stands alone.

Like a king, I may live in a palace so tall. But you know a thing in this whole wide world, that's worse than being alone. Hold my hand all the way. Every hour, every day. From here to the great unknown. Take my hand, let me stand where no one stands alone.

Take my hand, let me stand where no one stands alone. This show is part of the Radical Life Media network of podcasts and resources. Find out more at RadicalLifeMedia.com