(upbeat music) - How do we love our neighbors when they don't really need us? Worse, how do we love our neighbors when those neighbors go out of their way to ignore us? It's today's question. Hello, Pastor John and Tony. This podcast has been a huge blessing in my life.

I'm a 25 year old man. Last year, I moved into a new house in a new neighborhood. As a brother in Christ, I choose to be respectful and greet my neighbors first because I don't want them to view me as arrogant, selfish, or think I'm better than them. In scripture, Jesus says to love your neighbors yourself.

Living in this neighborhood for almost a year now, I feel unwelcomed. I wave at my neighbors just to show I care for them. Instead of acknowledging me, they ignore me, or a couple of times, they have mocked me back. I began to ignore them back because I don't want them to steal my joy.

Pastor John, how do I obey Jesus's command to love my neighbors when my neighbors basically ignore me? Let me say a big yes and a big no to a quote from this question. He says, "I wave at my neighbors just to show I care. Instead of acknowledging me, they ignore me, or a couple of times, they mocked me back, and I began to ignore them back because I don't want them to steal my joy." So here's my yes and no.

The yes is this. I don't want them to steal my joy. Amen, amen, yes, yes. Absolutely don't let them steal your joy. Yes. The no is this. I began to ignore them back. No, no, no, no, no, no. That is not the strategy to protect and deepen and lengthen your joy.

So let me say a word about the yes and the no from the Bible. First, the yes. I don't want them to steal my joy. I'm with you all the way, because in John 16, 22, Jesus said to his disciples who were sorrowful that he was about to leave them be crucified, and they didn't understand what was going on.

He said, "You have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you." So yes, not gonna happen. Don't let it happen. This is a good desire and a good confidence and a good goal. A Christian's joy is rooted in Christ, who he is, what he's done, and that joy cannot be taken.

It has a deeper, stronger anchor than any other joy. No one will take your joy from you, Jesus said. In fact, this deep, unshakable joy that's not dependent on external circumstances like being waved at or being insulted, but is anchored in the all-satisfying Christ, same yesterday, today, and forever, that joy is exactly what we have to offer our neighbors.

Their joy rises and falls according to circumstances. Our joy is not like that. Our joy is anchored in unchangeable glory. We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God, Romans 5, 2. Therefore, even when we are sorrowful, which is real for Christians, even when we are sorrowful, for example, at being rejected by our neighbors, Paul says, "We are sorrowful, yet always rejoicing," 2 Corinthians 6:10.

Those unsociable, even hostile neighbors might feel to you like a thorn in your flesh. But here's what Paul says about thorns in his flesh. When he asked Jesus to take the thorn away, and I'm sure you have asked that, Jesus responded, "My grace is sufficient for you, "for my power is made perfect in weakness." And then Paul says in response, "I will boast all the more gladly." (laughs) Oh, Paul, "I will boast all the more gladly "of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ "may rest upon me." And then he adds, "For the sake of Christ, then, "I am content." So he's got gladness, he's got contentment with weaknesses and insults, insults.

"For when I am weak, then am I strong." That's 2 Corinthians 12, nine to 10. So you can see that Paul absolutely would not let thorns rob him of his joy. "All the more gladly will I boast in my weaknesses. "I am content with insults, "with neighbors who ignore me or ridicule me." That's a miracle.

We gotta pray for that miracle in our lives. So yes, yes, yes, don't let anyone rob you of your Christ-exalting joy. Now, a word about the no. The strategy of returning ignoring for ignoring, or insult for insult, is not gonna work, period. No, that's not the way Jesus designed for you to protect your joy.

We do it. I know the feeling. I just run away from those things that take my joy. No, that's not the solution if love is at stake. Just the opposite. If you join them in their strategies, the reward you will get is the pleasures they get. And you'll hear Jesus say, "You have your reward." And that's that.

Of course, there is a kind of pleasure. There is. In returning insult for insult and ignoring for ignoring, there is a sinful pleasure. And it's a real pleasure in feeling like you've had the last word, or feeling like you're so above the other people's criticism that you don't even feel it.

There you go. You may insult me, I don't feel it. So there. That's not a Christian strategy. That's a Stoic strategy for maintaining joy. Here's Paul's strategy. 1 Corinthians 4.12. When reviled, we bless. When persecuted, we endure. When slandered, we entreat. Or he might say, when ignored, we smile and wave.

Now, how can that be a strategy for joy? Because Jesus said in Acts 20.35, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." There is a pleasure in receiving greetings. It's good, it's beautiful. We want it. But Jesus says there's a deeper pleasure in giving greetings. I remember 48 years ago, when I was working on my dissertation, my doctoral dissertation on Jesus' command to love your enemies.

And I read articles and books on loving your enemies. And there was this constant effort to resist individualizing enemy love and the desire to turn it into not nitty gritty practical little daily things, but big social issues of the day. That's where enemy love really counts. And I remember responding in one of those interchanges that I had by simply pointing to Matthew 5.47.

I mean, texts are wonderful. (both laughing) In debate with other. So I just went to Matthew 5.47, where Jesus illustrates what he means by love your enemies with this sentence. "If you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?" That conversation was over.

(both laughing) Like greeting your enemy as you pass him on the street with a smile and a hello is not exactly your great social issue of the day. (laughs) It just happens to be tremendously important in the mind of Jesus. Why? Because it reveals our hearts. So I would say to our 25 year old friend in his new neighborhood, don't grow weary in well-doing.

And the more your neighbors feel like enemies, the more you should love them the way Jesus said. And one of those ways is greeting. If you only greet those who greet you, how are you acting like a son of God and not just like everybody else? And let me just add one more practical suggestion.

These greetings and other little kindnesses that you may do thanklessly may feel to you like throwing money down a rat hole, but if you manifest the compassion of Christ and the steadfast goodwill of Christ over time, what might happen is that when crisis or tragedy strikes one of your neighbors, you may be the one they turn to.

So be alert to the moment when they're not so cocky because all is going well. Instead, they're hurting because something terrible just happened in their lives. And then they may turn to you because you may seem to them to be somebody who might care. Who knows how many small evidences of grace like greetings become the very thing, the door through which they might welcome you into their lives.

Amen. I've actually seen that very thing happen in my own neighborhood twice recently. Thank you, Pastor John. Thank you for joining us today. You can ask a question of your own. You can search our growing archive or subscribe to the podcast, all at desiringgod.org/askpastorjohn. While the great C.S. Lewis once called purgatory a self-confirming reality, purgatory is just logical.

We all must get cleaned up before we enter into eternity. Well, no, it's not such a logical conclusion after all. We're gonna look at purgatory and how C.S. Lewis got it wrong next time when we return on Monday. It's an important topic. I'm your host, Tony Reinke. We'll see you back here on the other side of the weekend.

Thanks for listening. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)