(upbeat music) - We are back with pastor and author Ray Ortlund, filling in for John Piper, who is on an extended writing leave right now, working on his next book, which I hope to tell you more about soon. Ray, in your Proverbs commentary, which is outstanding, and I commend it to every listener, in your Proverbs commentary, you write this, quote, "I have never seen adultery "send a whole church into meltdown.

"Gossip, by contrast, is often perceived as a little sin, "but it destroys churches," end quote. Those are strong words. Explain the devastating power of gossip. - Yes, well, the Bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. What an amazing thing. The old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, "but words will never harm me," that is not true.

But how does that actually work? Life and death in the power of the tongue. As I've thought about it, Tony, it seems to me that we really experience reality within community. We figure out, as we go through life, we figure out who we are by the paying backs we get from other people.

We go to the Bible for the big question, who's humanity? But when it comes to the smaller question, who am I, within that humanity, we have to notice how other people are responding to us and what they're saying to us, especially what they say to us about us. And the impressions that we pick up from other people by their words can be life-giving or that can be life-depleting.

So in our churches, when we say to one another, especially when we say explicitly, "You don't matter," and to the extent that you do matter, you're poisonous and you're radioactive and you're a leprous and so forth, those words and suggestions and impressions kill the soul. Because even if we are able to have enough strength within to disagree with that assessment, still we can't help but reel under those hammer blows.

So to be cautious and restrained and careful in what we say to one another is so important, but words can also be life-giving. We can, by grace, in obedience to the Bible, to the glory of God, breathe life into one another. Romans 12, 10 says, "Outdo one another in showing honor." I mean, it's competitive.

This is a win-win competition. So we have, for example, in our men's ministry on Tuesday nights, "Emmanuel Theology for Men," part of what we do is we take time for what we call honor time. And it's not flattery, it's honest, but the scripture speaks of Christ in you, the hope of glory.

So we open it up and guys will say, "Well, here's how I see Christ in you. "Last Tuesday, when I faced this challenge, "you stepped out of, at great inconvenience to yourself. "You helped me. "I saw Christ in you and I honor you for that." And typically, Tony, when I throw that open, immediately guys start speaking in it.

And it's hard to shut it down. - Beautiful, thank you. And really quick before we go, flattery is a word we don't use a lot. What is flattery? - Well, flattery is telling a lie. Flattery is telling people something nice about them that just isn't true. But in a real Christian, Christ, the hope of glory, lives in that person.

And if that person is trusting him and walking with him, the glory is not hard to read. It's wonderfully obvious. And we need to talk to each other about that. Because of course, our enemy, Satan, is accusing us and telling us that we don't count and we're failures and so forth.

So this is one way we fight back to joy in the Lord. - Yes and amen, thank you. This is a glimpse into the kind of wise counsel you'll find in Ray's books. Specifically his commentary on the book of Proverbs, a book I featured in my top 10 favorite books of 2012.

It's titled, "Proverbs, Wisdom That Works." And it's published by Crossway, be sure to check it out. Well, Easter is just days away. And I wanna finish out the week with a series of three sermon clips from John Piper's best Easter sermons. Each clip focuses on the implications of Easter.

And Pastor John will help remind us how Easter breaks our sin, how it breaks our heartbreak, and how it breaks our mediocrity. That begins tomorrow. I'm your host, Tony Reinke. Thanks for listening to the Ask Pastor John podcast. (silence) (silence) (silence)