How can I be freed from my obsession with my appearance? It's an ever-important question and it comes in today from an anonymous young woman who listens to every episode of this podcast and no doubt is listening right now. "Hello Pastor John, I am 19 years old. I've been listening to your podcast for a few years now and it is, well, a little embarrassing how much I binge your episodes, but they have helped me so much.

Thank you. I have a question that I have been wrestling with for a while about self-image. For years now I have dealt with hating what I see in the mirror. It's been a frustrating and emotional journey. I struggle with a lot of self-comparison and am very critical of my own appearance.

I get very self-conscious when I'm not wearing makeup or when I wear certain clothes. I know this is a huge problem for young women. Women need Jesus to forgive their sins, not to make them feel beautiful, and yet knowing that I still struggle here. I know that this is a branch of pride and self-love to be so caught up in appearance.

It's very damaging and discouraging and it affects my daily life. I was wondering how you would biblically encourage women who struggle with the same thing." Let me begin with a story. Evelyn Brand was born in England in 1879 and grew up in a well-to-do British family. She studied at the London Conservatory of Art and she dressed in the finest silks of the day.

She was resoundingly converted to Christ, married, and went with her husband to minister as missionaries in the Kohli Malai mountain range in India. After about 10 years, her husband died at the age of 44 and she came home broken, beaten down by pain and grief. But after a year's restoration and against all advice, she returned all by herself to India.

Her soul was restored. She poured her life into the hill people, nursing the sick, teaching farming, lecturing about guinea worms, rearing orphans, clearing jungle land, pulling teeth, establishing schools, spreading the gospel. She lived in a portable hut, eight feet square for a season, that could be taken down and moved and then put up again.

At age 67, she fell and broke her hip. Her son Paul, famous surgeon, Paul Brand, her son Paul, encouraged her to retire. She had already suffered a broken arm, several cracked vertebrae, recurrent malaria. Her response? "Paul, you know these mountains. If I leave, who will help the village people?

Who will treat their wounds and pull their teeth and teach them about Jesus? When someone comes to take my place, then, and only then, will I retire." So she worked on, and then almost 30 years later, 67, 30 years later, at the age of 95, she died. The villagers buried her in a simple cotton sheet so that she would decompose and be part of the mountains.

Her son commented that, "With wrinkles as deep and extensive as any I have ever seen on a human face, she was a beautiful woman." Now, here's the great part. For the last 20 years of her life, she refused to have a mirror in her house. I love this. She was consumed with ministry, not mirrors, not self.

A co-worker once remarked that Granny Brand was more alive than any person he had ever met. Now, the world is spending billions of dollars and endless media time to persuade women that life consists in their looks, their skin, their shape, their hair. The scam is as old as history.

At the center of it is the attempt to trick women into the habit of comparing themselves with other women, even though Paul wrote, "When they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding." That's referring to another situation, but the principle is still the same.

Second Corinthians 10.12. Three thousand years ago, the Old Testament wise men pleaded with women not to be tricked. He said, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31.30. In other words, true beauty, the real praiseworthiness in life, is not outward appearance but reverence for God and a life lived for others.

Two thousand years ago, the apostle Peter said, "Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair, the putting on of gold jewelry, the clothing that you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." And Paul said, "Let women adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold and pearls and costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness, namely, with good works." In other words, true beauty is a life lived in the service of others.

The greatest beauty is a life of self-forgetfulness for the good of others in the name of Jesus. And let me throw in a little personal aside that will encourage a few thousand women and offend a few million, maybe. I don't speak for all men, but I do speak for, I don't know, a few thousand, when I say we don't find makeup attractive.

Lipstick, eye shadow, facial colors, nail coloring, they're off-putting. We love natural, authentic faces. Now if that sounds liberating to you, I'm glad. If it doesn't, if it's offensive, threatening, annoying, well, don't worry. It's just John Piper's weird opinion, and there are a lot of godly people who would disagree with me.

In fact, more godly than I am, I am sure. And it's not the main point of this asbestos, John, so end that little tirade and back to the point. So what is the main point? The main point is that outward beauty is insignificant compared to inward beauty of humility and wisdom and love, a life lived for others.

And believe it or not, not only God, but the world sees this at its common grace best. How many millions of people would say that Mother Teresa, old, wrinkled Mother Teresa, had a beauty more powerful than all the models of the world put together? Just like Evelyn Brand, who refused to have mirrors in her house for the last 20 years of her life.

Let me end with another story. A long time ago in our neighborhood, a man appeared for a short time. I don't know where he came from or where he went. He was only here a short time, as far as I could tell. And I noticed that he only came out of the subsidized high-rise near our house at evening.

And he would generally be on the other side of the street from wherever people were. And I caught a glimpse of him one evening while I was out with the dog and noticed a massive purple birthmark covering most of his face. There was not only discoloring, there was disfiguring.

I mean, he would have frightened virtually any child that saw him and probably caused most people to cross the street. So one evening I timed my walk to meet him. And as we passed, I greeted him and asked if I could say a word to him. This is hugely risky, what I'm about to do.

Don't necessarily recommend it, but it's just what I felt led to do. He stopped and I just cut straight to the chase. I said, "My name is John. I live down the street over there at that red house. And I'm a pastor at the church over there. And I just want you to know that I know you're here and I don't want to avoid you.

And I realize life must be hard for you. But I want you to know two things that are true because of Jesus. One is that I care about you and am not put off by your looks." You can see why this is risky, right? I mean, just no idea whether this is going to make him angry or not.

And the other is I have spectacular news for people with every kind of disability. Namely, everyone who trusts in Jesus will be completely healed in the resurrection. And we will have brand new bodies, new faces, new legs, new arms, but we'll still be ourselves. He actually thanked me and then went on his way.

I don't think I ever saw him again. The reason I tell that story is this. Virtually all of us are way too wrapped up in our relatively minor problems. That man's face puts my concern with wrinkles and sagging and blotching in a proper light. What we all need is a good dose of exposure to real suffering, which we have not yet known, and perhaps a few decades of glorious service in the mountains of India with no mirrors in our house.

Wow. Amazing stories. Thank you, Pastor John, and thank you for sending in the important and honest question like this one. We need your honest questions because we publish this podcast three times for a week with over now 1,500 episodes in the archive. You can find all those episodes. You can subscribe to the podcast or send us your own question.

Do all of that online at DesiringGod.org/askpastorjohn. I am Tony Reinke, and we will see you on Wednesday when we look at how God called us to himself. Some glories to relish in coming up on Wednesday. We'll see you then.