Based on the inbox, Pastor John, there are a lot of Christians listening to this podcast who did not expect to be single entering 2017. Ashley, one of our listeners, is among them. She writes in to ask this, "Pastor John, my struggle is singleness. I'm 28, an elementary teacher, and that's not really a profession to meet single men.

I know that with the age of tender and hookups, casual sex will leave me empty inside, and it's not a lifestyle that I'm seeking. At the same time, I feel alone as a Christian single. I feel the church only sees me as serving material because I have "time to serve." In addition to the lack of men at church, I am an extrovert.

I do have a life outside of my singleness, and I try to live as if my singleness doesn't define me. Everyone tells me I'm attractive, outgoing, and have a lot going for me. Well, everyone but a Christian male, which is hard not to take personally. How do I have hope in something uncertain?

I'm not promised a life of marriage. How do I cling to the truth in a world lying to me about the satisfaction of hooking up? How do I not turn to the world when I feel like the church, Christian men, and even God himself seem to have no place for me?" Pastor John, what would you say to Ashley?

Wow, there's so much there that we could talk about. What's clear from the way Ashley asks her question, and I'm going to determine what I say here because of what I hear in the way she asked the question, what's clear is that she knows at one level the essence of the right answers to her own questions.

She asks with regard to a future husband, "How do I have hope in something uncertain?" And she answers, "I am not promised a life of a marriage." In other words, she knows we don't hope in uncertain things. We don't put our hope in what we are not promised. If we do, we're bound to be crushed.

We hope in things that are certain, not uncertain, things that God has promised, not things that we may rightly want but have not been promised and may receive or may not receive. We hope in what is sure, what God has absolutely promised, and he watches over his word to perform it, and Ashley knows this.

And she asks, "How do I not turn to the world when I feel like the church, Christian men, and God have no place for me?" And she answers, "The world is lying to me about the satisfaction of hooking up." She knows it's a lie. She knows it's a lie.

Now my concern for Ashley, and many are like her and we're all like her from time to time, my concern for Ashley is that the lie is already starting to creep into the way she asks her questions. This is exactly the way Satan insinuated his lie into Eve's mind in Genesis 3, and I don't want Ashley to become another Eve in the garden.

Here's what he said, or here's what God said. Now the serpent was more crafty, subtle, than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God actually say you shall not eat of any tree in the garden?" Now you see already what he's doing.

God only forbade one tree. Satan is insinuating the thought that God is stingy and forbade all the trees. Tragically, that seed of God's stinginess took root in Eve's mind, and you can see it immediately. The text goes on. The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat, we may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden, but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree in the midst of the garden,'" and then she adds, "neither shall you touch it, lest you die." God did not say that.

God did not say, "You shall not touch this tree." But Eve was already feeling the lure of resentment against God. God is withholding something from me in my life, and I don't like it. He's a stingy God. He's a narrow God. He doesn't have my best interest at heart.

So when Ashley says, "I feel like the church, Christian men, and God have no place for me," we may understand and empathize with the feeling, but alarm bells should be going off in her and our mind that the lie of Satan is taking root in the statement, "God has no place for me." So in answer to Ashley's question, "How can I not turn to the world?" Even though she knows the world is lying, my answer is, "Swim in the truth.

Swim in the truth of God's Word and promise about you, Ashley. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free from the lies of the world and the devil." That's what Jesus meant when he said that in John 8. So let me point you, Ashley, to one truth.

We could do dozens. One truth, big enough for you to swim in for a long time. When Jesus was teaching about marriage, and he told his disciples, "There's no back door. Once you walk in, you are committed for better or for worse till death separates you. No back door." The disciples were stunned that Jesus shut the back door of marriage.

And they said, "If such is the case," this is Matthew 19.10, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it's better not to marry." And then Jesus said something even more amazing. He said, "Not everyone is able to enter this relationship with such a high demand." And then he uses the word eunuch to describe different kinds of people who don't enter marriage.

Here's what he says, "Not everyone can receive this saying," this high expectation of marriage without a back door. "Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given." In other words, only divine grace. Verse 12 of Matthew 19, "For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.

Let the one who is able to receive it, receive it." Now however literal we may take the word eunuch here, the implication is that there are various reasons why people are not called into marriage. Some forgo it unwillingly, some willingly. What does the Bible have to say about God's grace toward them?

What about their happiness and blessing? And the answer that God gives is found most beautifully in Isaiah 56. He pictures two kinds of people who feel explicitly or especially excluded. The foreigner, the Gentile who's not part of Israel, and the eunuch who feels fruitless and like there's no future for him because he has no family.

And here's what he says. This is Isaiah 56 verse 3, "Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord say, 'The Lord will surely separate me from his people.' And let not the eunuch say, 'Behold, I am a dry tree.' For thus says the Lord to the eunuchs who keep my Sabbath, who choose the things that please me and hold fast to my covenant, 'I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters.'" Now pause there and let that sink in.

Do you believe this, Ashley? That's the question. A monument and the name that will last and be more satisfying than husband's names and children's names and people surrounding you with family. And then he goes on, "I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off." Do you think your name or your identity will not be perpetuated because there are going to be no children bearing your name, no one carrying your DNA?

There is something better, God says, something better that God has for you, an everlasting name. So Ashley, the way to turn—you're asking, "How can I turn from the world?" The way to turn from the world with its lies is to stop focusing on the world and its deceptive images of pleasure, but rather to focus on the infinitely superior promises of God.

And this is one of those hundreds of promises. I don't know if God has marriage in your future. He might. You never know. But I do know this. He will give you in his house and within his walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters, an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.

And don't miss the thing that you're most concerned about, namely that God has no place for you. It says, "I will give you this in my house." He does want you there. He wants you there. And to be wanted by God is better than being wanted by a thousand men.

Thank you, Pastor John, for addressing this question, and thank you for the email, Ashley. We really appreciate these kinds of personal emails that ask for advice when it comes to the most sensitive areas of life in this fallen world. And as long as you have questions and as long as the Lord wills, we will continue to do our best to provide the answers.

As we quickly approach episode number 1,000 now in the history of this podcast, and as our inbox is as full as ever, you can find our audio feeds to track along with new episodes at DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn. We return on Wednesday. I'm your host, Tony Reike. Thanks for listening to year number 5 for us here on the Ask Pastor John podcast.