Happy Friday everyone. We have a lot of questions coming in now about video games as you might expect Pastor John. Here's one from a listener named Elizabeth who writes in and says, "Pastor John, I'm engaged to be married to a man who is addicted to video games. He says he wants to stop but his life shows very little fruit and he keeps playing games.

Should I go on with this engagement or not? How should Elizabeth think about this, Pastor John?" Well, we've been here before, haven't we? Being put in a position to tell women whether or not to marry somebody. Oh my, I feel so, I don't take this lightly at all. I really don't.

I will give a yes or no answer to this question should I go through with this engagement. But before I do, let me ask Elizabeth five questions. Number one, have you considered the implications of 1 Corinthians 6, 12? All things are lawful for me. That includes video games, I think.

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything. Now that word "dominated," "exousias theisomai," that's one long Greek word, "I will not be dominated," is a strong word. It means nothing will have authority over me.

It reminds us of Jesus' final words on the earth. "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given me. Go make disciples." That is, call people out from under every alien authority because you have my authority and they should submit to my authority because I'm the strongest authority on the planet.

And we call them out of demonic oppression and horrific false religions, and nothing is to be enslaving, even the most subtle temptations of video games. Jesus calls us not just to be forgiven, not just to profess faith, but to experience him as the one with all authority, breaking the powers that hold us captive.

It's a serious thing to be held in bondage by anything but Christ. We've all been bought by Christ's blood for freedom. For freedom he has set you free. Do not submit again to a yoke of bondage, any kind of bondage. Christ has set you free, and we dishonor the blood price of that liberation if we don't experience it.

Question number two. What does it say about your fiancé's elevation of mind that he is enslaved by something as trivial and banal as games? And I use the word "elevation of mind" because of Colossians 3.1. "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above," elevated, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on the earth. In other words, the mature Christian mind is elevated. Increasingly, our minds are taken up into great and glorious and beautiful God-like things. This means that the mind addicted to something as trivial and unimportant as games is out of touch with reality.

These preoccupations are not only unimportant, they're unreal. Christ has saved our minds to be set on the most real and the most important things in the world. That's question number two. What about his elevation of mind? Number three, if your fiancé can't control his behaviors in this area, will he be able to control them in other areas?

Jesus said in Luke 16.10, "One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much." Now, marriage is a massive commitment for a woman and a man. There is no back door. That's why the disciples were stunned at Jesus' teaching about divorce, and they said, "Well, then who should marry, for goodness sakes?" And Jesus said, "Well, it's not given to everyone.

Maybe you shouldn't." God gives grace to husbands and wives to deal with the disappointments that always come when we discover things about our spouses that we didn't know would come, and they will. They'll always come. If they haven't come yet, they will. But at the front end, before you are married, be as wise as you can be so that you don't make a covenant with a man who gives little evidence of his ability to control himself.

Question number four, will this man be able to lead you in the way that Ephesians 5 describes as your head? Headship means going ahead and doing many hard things that a family needs a husband to do. Doing hard things, which is what headship always involves, means denying immediate gratification of one of the— and then pursuing the desire of some long-term joy in obedience and love and sacrifice and helpfulness.

If he cannot deny himself a video game, will he be able to deny himself things for the good of the family? Will he be able to get up from the television? Will he be able to leave his hobby in the garage? Will he be able to put his book down?

Will he be able to leave his computer and lead the family in Bible reading and prayer? Or will he just be stuck? He's not leaving his TV, he's not leaving his computer, he's not leaving his garage. It doesn't matter whether the family is perishing in the living room or not if he has no self-denial and no self-control.

Number five, will he be exemplary for the children? Children don't just learn what they're told, they learn what they see. And they will see what daddy defaults to, and that will be seen as his God. So, my answer to Elizabeth is no. Unless you see some significant character growth and freedom for greater things than games, I would not move forward in that relationship.

Thank you, Pastor John. And a while back we published an article titled "Fake Love, Fake War," and it was written by Russell Moore, which you can find at the DesiringGod.org website. It picks up on some of these related themes. And also see episode number 122, which is titled "Is My Boyfriend's Porn a Marriage Deal Breaker?" It's always great to hear from listeners.

If you have a question, please email it in to us at AskPastorJohn@DesiringGod.org and visit us online at DesiringGod.org to find thousands of books, articles, sermons, and other resources from John Piper, all free of charge. We have a new week ahead and a new list of questions queued up for Pastor John.

I'm your host Tony Reinke. We'll see you on Monday.