Casey in Michigan writes in with a very perceptive question, "Pastor John, I have battled depression for about two years. I have this view of myself as a vile, horrible, disgusting creature whose good works are filthy rags. When I sin, I tell myself, 'Of course I sinned. I'm a vile sinner.

I don't know how to do anything else but sin. This is all I will ever do.' These views don't come out of nowhere. In fact, I always thought they were biblical views of mankind and that I was simply being humble, but reading the Word more and more, I see the Christians are supposed to have victory in Christ and they are beloved children of God." Yes, amen.

"But I don't know how to view my sin in any other way than becoming completely depressed. So my question is, how do I balance being humble yet not completely disgusted with myself and knowing I have value in the eyes of the Lord yet not becoming prideful?" Casey's question is so well crafted there at the end that I can't help thinking she knows the answer.

She really, that was really well said, and that's hopeful to me. That's hopeful to me. I mean, she is, I'm not making light at all, and I take her at her word that she feels paralyzed by a sense of self-condemnation. So let me see what I can say, and I really do believe that the Lord has the answer here and applies the answer.

My words may be a means, but God is the one who lifts us out of these kinds of darkness. Tim Keller, I think, is the one who has made famous the gospel formulation. "You are more sinful than you ever thought you were." I'm gonna say that even to Casey, who's, you know, she stated her sense of self-disgust pretty strongly, but I would say Casey hasn't gotten to the bottom.

None of us has. So the first thing he says is, "You are more sinful than you ever thought you were, and you are more loved than you ever dreamed you could be." And that's true for Casey, too. So the beauty of that statement is that it doesn't become unrealistic at either end, not the sin end or the grace end, and surely for Casey, believing this double gospel formulation—more sinful than we could know, more loved than we could dream—surely this gospel formulation is the key to both humility without despair, because that's what she said there at the end, "How do you know your sin without despair?" and at the other end, a feeling valued without feeling proud.

So Casey, your sinfulness, which is worse than you think, is paid for at infinite cost, and God's valuing you is a free gift of grace that you don't deserve, but he delights to give. That's why he gives. He wants to value you. And so go ahead and let yourself see the fullness of the sinfulness of your sin, but with every glimpse remind yourself of the infinite cost that was paid so that you don't dishonor the beauties of the Lord's sacrifice by holding on to the guilt that he paid to remove.

And every time there's the slightest sense, "He loves me. He values me. He's making me his daughter. He's taking me into his family," don't let that produce a big hit. It won't, because you don't deserve any of that. It is a free, blood-bought gift of grace overflowing from the heart of God.

You didn't earn it. You didn't constrain it, but he loves to give it. Now that's the basic gospel answer to someone struggling like Casey, I believe. But let me say a little more, because I'm sensing as I hear the question that there are a few things that need clarification that just might be liberating for Casey.

I got two or three. First, let's clarify this text about filthy rags. I have heard that text quoted since the time I was a kid. It comes from the King James Version of Isaiah 64, 6, and every time I've heard it used, it's used to describe Christian obedience. That is emphatically not what the text means, and it's wrong to describe Christian obedience that way.

Here's the context. Let's read verses 5 and 6. I just want to liberate Casey from the weight of even thinking about her efforts at true Christian obedience being filthy rags. They're not. Verse 5, "You meet him who joyfully works righteousness." So the very first thing in this context is God loves and honors and sees real righteousness in his people.

We'll come back in a minute to whether it's perfect or not. It's not perfect. "Those who remember you in your ways, behold, you were angry and we sinned. In our sins we have been a long time, and shall we be saved? We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment, like filthy rags." Now, those righteous deeds are not righteous.

They're not righteous. He's already talked about how he feels about righteousness. These righteous deeds are the kind Paul was talking about in Philippians 3, 5, where he says, "As to the law, I was a Pharisee. As to zeal, I was a persecutor of the church. As to righteousness under the law, I was blameless." So there's righteousness, and it's blameless, and what does he say about it?

He says it's filthy. It's dung. But those were not real righteousness. That was pure, self-reliant legalism. That righteousness is dung. That righteousness is filthy rags. That's not the righteousness that Paul was talking about in chapter 1 of Philippians when he prayed, "Oh God, grant that they would be filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God." Christian obedience in the power of the Holy Spirit is not dung.

It's not filthy rags. It's the answer to prayer. It's the work of Christ. It's the work of the Holy Spirit. It's wrong to describe the beautiful work of the Holy Spirit as filthy rags. The fruit of the Holy Spirit— love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, meekness, faithfulness, self-control— are not filthy rags.

Now, second clarification. Casey might be helped in being reminded that while every good deed that we ever do is imperfect— that's what's tripping her up here, I think. She knows that and feels that, and I do too. Our motives, John Piper's motives, in my best moments are never completely free from indwelling sin and some kind of selfishness or pride is creeping in there, and that sinfulness, I must remind Casey, is covered by the blood of Christ, which is why Christ can delight in the good deed, because he covers the aspects of it that are not good.

And Casey might have the unconscious sense—I think a lot of people do—the unconscious sense that Christ died for her bad deeds, but the good deeds are so imperfect that they leave her defiled and hopeless. This notion that, "Well, if I really sin, he might cover that, but my good deeds, those are supposed to be really good, and they're not really good, and so nothing is covering those, and I just want to cry out from the housetops that Christ died for my good deeds.

He died for my good deeds so that they could be acceptable, so that all the contamination in them could be covered. And if you need a text for that, consider this. 1 John 1:7, "If we walk in the light as he is in the light"—now that'd be good deeds—"if we walk in the light as he is in the light"—doing good things—"we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin." Well, now, wait a minute.

You just said you were walking in the light. What's this "cleansing you from all sin" stuff? Well, he means none of our walking in the light is sinlessness. The next verse says, "If we say we have no sin"—and I would add while we're walking in the light—"we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

But if we confess our sins"—which is part of what it means to walk in the light—"he is faithful and just to forgive our sins." So I just want to make crystal clear, the blood of Jesus is given to cover our bad deeds and cover our good deeds so that it is possible for the living Christ in infinite holiness to delight in the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our life, even though Casey and I see every day that it's not what it ought to be.

And here's the last thing that she might need to hear, because I've talked to people recently about this. God's disapproval of our imperfections, which Casey feels in a paralyzing way—God's disapproval of our imperfections, which are real and daily, is never a contempt for us. His disapproval of things in us is never contempt.

So Hebrews 12 speaks of discipline, right? He's disciplining us, even bringing about suffering in our lives, because He disapproves of something in our hearts or in our behavior. He disapproves of it. And what are the words used to describe that? Verse 6, "For the Lord disciplines the one whom He loves and chastises every son He receives." And Proverbs that's being quoted here is even stronger.

It's more paradoxical. The Lord reproves Him whom He loves as a father the son in whom He delights. Now Casey needs to get a handle on that. She knows the Father is reproving her. She knows He disapproves of her sin and the good deeds that are contaminated, but she's dropping this verse halfway through because it says He's doing that to people in whom He delights.

Now most people did not grow up in homes where this was modeled. That is, a dad or mom with strong disapproval of things in the children, attitudes in the children, or behaviors, and a strong sense of being dad's delight, mom's delight. Those things feel separate to most of us, and so we have to re-school ourselves with texts like this for God's children, God's children, even while He is spanking them, even while there is a frown of disapproval on a behavior or an attitude.

He never holds them in contempt. He never ceases to love them. He never ceases even to delight in them as His children. So Casey, let's you and me, and everybody else because we're not by ourselves, let's dwell on the wonders of grace. Let every sense of unworthiness, which come daily, hourly maybe, let every sense of unworthiness send you higher into orbit of praise for the infiniteness of the price paid for you.

It is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Brilliant. That is counsel we can all take every day of the Christian life. Thank you, Pastor John. Well, for everything you need to know about this podcast and to send Pastor John a question, a carefully crafted question like this one from Casey, go to DesiringGod.org/AskPastorJohn.

I'm your host Tony Reinke. We'll see you tomorrow.