All right, I'm going to go ahead and jump right in. There's a couple of things, and we gave-- just a couple of things I want to say by way of opening. Some of you got a pamphlet called the Master's Fellowship. And there is a booth out in front of the sanctuary where we have Brett Zamross and Todd Fletcher.

Brett and Todd, are you somewhere in the neighborhood like right here? These guys are teammates in the Fellowship Administrator and Regional Leader Director. The fellowship is for guys like us, guys in ministry, guys who are serving in leadership function in a local church, guys that would come to Shepherds Conference and leave going, man, that was one of the best weeks of my life.

Guys who have common convictions about the things that matter, the Word of God, the Son of God, the way you do church, the way you preach the Word of God. Guys like us need guys like us. And so not just once a year in a fellowship setting like this, but the Master's Fellowship is men who share convictions that are common and affections that are common-- love for God, love for His Word, love for His people.

And the fellowship is designed for you to have relationships with guys like you. So the fellowship is populated by men who say by application, the mastersfellowship.org-- it's on the brochure. You can just find it, Google it. You apply, and you apply because you're going to answer some questions and important questions about what you believe and about your convictions about how to do ministry and your convictions about the person and work of Jesus Christ, the Word of God, its authority, inspiration, et cetera, things you would expect.

Because what we're after is guys like us having benefit from other guys like us. Because here's the bottom line. Brothers need brothers. Pastors need pastors. Leaders need other leaders to the end that we maximize our potential for the glory of God. Guys like us don't always fulfill our potential because we're isolated and alone.

And we're going to need each other. You may not need someone today, but you're going to need each other. And as the culture continues to spiral and erode, you're going to need spaces and places where you can be encouraged. We meet online once a month. We'll lead a Zoom call.

Dr. MacArthur's with us once a month, typically. And then we have a monthly Zoom call, not his, but another one that we will do around some subject-- pastoral, theological, practical-- so that it's meant to help you, give you a chance to Q&A. And we have some questions. And I wanted to make you aware of it because, as a pastor, I'm convinced that we need each other and we'll be better together.

And as the culture journeys forward, you're going to need relationships. The Master's Fellowship-- and I would call it its genius and not meant to elevate anything. But the genius of it is its regional leadership, its regional gatherings. It's fine to Zoom. It's great to come to Shepherd's Conference. But this is not accessible to you all year long.

You need spaces and places and brothers that you can access-- regular fellowship. And that's what the fellowship is. So when you see the Master's Fellowship, you're really seeing guys like us who want to gather with guys like us to become what God wants us to be individually and collectively.

So I want you to know about that. You don't have to have a brochure to find us. Just the mastersfellowship.org. Or we're at the booth out in front of the sanctuary. As you go in, we're to the right, right next to Grace Advance. That's not a commercial. It's really meant as information.

So if you want to be a part of that, you're more than welcome. All right, 1 Peter chapter 3-- where you expected me to go today. This is an assigned subject. It is a very important subject. Obviously, you're standing here. It's important. Some of you are sitting here. You understand the high priority of your relationship with your wife and how, according to the Bible, it affects your relationship with God.

I teach a seminary class across the hall weekly. And I say to the men who are part of the practice of pastoral ministry, this is how I start each semester. You fail at home, you fail. I don't care how many books you write, how many blog posts you have, how many conventions or conferences you speak at, how many people know your name.

Your first ministry, job one, is at home. That's why 1 Timothy 3 looks like it does and Titus 1 looks like it does because of the credentials that qualify you for credible biblical ministry, which is the model of a true Christian. It's the qualification of elders. But elders are not super saints.

They're just model followers of Christ. This is what you should look like and aim at for every man. So job one, and that's what I've kind of subtitled this, or maybe titled it and put under it, so that your prayers may not be hindered. And I didn't pick that title.

That was picked for me. Put in your program. And obviously, your wife saw it, and here you are. So if they'd have seen job one, you wouldn't be here. But this is that. This is the high priority of relating well and biblically with your wife. And here's the obvious connected thought.

Because you need God in everything you do, when God says that your relationship with her will help or hinder your connection with him, you could say, you fail at home. You really will fail. Because without me, you can do nothing, Jesus said. Everything of eternal importance happens because of prayer.

Not your hard work, but by the work of God, because you are desperately dependent upon him. And so I feel like I'm convincing you of something you're already convinced of. The passage that we're going to look at, one verse, and then I'm going to try to unpack it for your benefit in terms of its implications.

And it is thick with principle and practice. Verse 7, 1 Peter 3, "You husbands, likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman. And grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." Now, the word hindered means totally cut off.

There's a big wreck on I-5. The black and whites are in the roadway. The lights are on, and nobody's passing. There's a wreck. There's an obstacle. That's this word. It's not hindered like it's hard. It's not hindered like somebody's holding you back. It's hindered like you're blocked off. Paul said, I wanted to go, and I couldn't go.

I was prevented. It is an absolute block between you and God. That's sobering. And that is the consequence, the result clause in this verse is, so that doesn't happen to you, so that you are not cut off from the blessing and benefit and access of the living God that has impact in your life, your family, and your ministry.

That's why this is so important, let alone its impact on the wife you made promises to. This is impactful to everything in your life that matters, because prayer affects everything in your life. Notice the word, verse 7, likewise. Likewise introduces us to the fact that this is a connection to what he's already said.

Just like who? Well, verse 1 of chapter 3 says, in the same way you wives. So you have wives, 1 through 6. Aren't you glad she has six verses and you only have one? What he just said to her, likewise, as it relates to the main verbal idea, you are to apply.

And because it says, in the same way, this is informed by the context which precedes that. So I want to start with this big thought for you. And the idea that I'd like to offer to you is that if you want to be God-honoring, gospel-validating, and someone who enjoys God's blessing, you need to be this kind of husband.

God-honoring, gospel-validating, and enjoying God's blessing, you need to be this kind of husband. Why would I say that? Because likewise connects to the whole context. And I'm going to track you back to that here in a minute. But the benefit of what you're about to hear is in recognition that this is connected.

1 Peter is written to encourage you to stand firm. It is also written to tell you to stand out. He's writing to encourage persecuted Christians to triumph in trouble and difficulty and stand firm in their faith. That's how the book begins, anchored in the recognition of what God has done and what God guarantees to do.

Listen, life's hard. It's not going to get better for a Christian. The more it heats up, you're going to need to be anchored down. You need to be strong and convinced. And this is designed to help you stand out in your faith and stand firm in your faith. The other big idea that Peter is promoting is that in a culture that's dark, you're to be a standout light.

You're to be an influencer for the gospel. And I'm going quickly because we don't have a lot of time. So if you know this book, you're already connected. But if not, I want to highlight some key ideas. And one of those ideas is found in who we are, verse 9, chapter 2.

"You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood." Talking about those who are redeemed by the precious blood of Christ. "If you're a Christian, you're a living stone, and you're a royal priest. A holy nation, a people for God's own possession. Watch this, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who has called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." If you're a Christian, you're a priest.

You're part of a priesthood. Priests were God connectors. Pontifex is the Latin words for bridge builder. Priests were God connectors, connecting people to God and God to people. You're a go-between. The ultimate mediator is Jesus Christ, the great high priest. And as his representative, you connect people to God.

That's the big idea I want you to hear, because it's all going to go back for you to verse 7, chapter 3. "You are a God connector. Wherever you walk, wherever you live, whatever you do, your neighborhood, your vocation, your schooling, your activities, your hobbies, you're the guy that God has appointed as a part of his divine family to connect people to him.

And you do that according to verse 9, in part by proclaiming the excellencies of him who has called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." You're a God proclaimer. You're a God talker. It's by what you say about him and by what he has done for you. I needed mercy.

I hadn't experienced mercy. I have a personal testimony. And if I'm a priest, I'm to declare that. That's validating in words the gospel of God that changed you. He says in verse 10, "You were once not a people, but now you are the people of God. You had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." Verse 11, "Act like it inwardly.

I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against your soul." Priests have to not only say it, but inwardly, you need to reflect it. That will apply to what we're going to talk about at home. What you are as a Christian is to validate and honor the greatness of God by what you say, by what you are inside, and what you display outside.

Verse 12, "Keep your behavior excellent." Excellent God, excellent proclamations, internal moral excellence, because it'll kill your soul. And verse 12, outward excellence, your behavior. Keep it excellent among the Gentiles. So in the thing in which they slander you as an evildoer, because they don't give credibility to your claims, but because they are watching your life in addition to your words, someday on account of your good deeds, verse 12, as they observe them, consequence, they will glorify God in the day of visitation.

Now, I'm going to argue this is not the visitation where every knee will bow and every tongue will confess. This is the return of Jesus Christ, the rapture of Jesus Christ, where all of those converted to Christ as part of the family of God will bear witness to the glory that belongs to God.

Because everybody's going to give some witness to who Jesus Christ is, saved or unsaved. Every knee will bow, every tongue will confess. This is not that. This is the confession of a former mocker who is now a God glorifier. And why is he a God glorifier? Because of what you say, the priest of God, in the community with which they have to do what they say, what they are, and what they display.

All of that I put in the category of honoring God. This is what this context, chapter 3, verse 7, is connected to, because it's God-honoring behavior that validates the gospel you proclaim, that mercy and grace. It validates it, because it displays the effect of it. So what I am in words, I need to be in practice.

This is the conduct that honors God. And this is the conduct that validates the gospel of God, gives it credibility, so that a mocker becomes a professor and a God glorifier, a worshiper. Here's why I'm sharing the context with you. Because God-honoring, gospel-validating husbands who enjoy blessing from God and answered prayers from God are governed by a compelling conviction that this matters.

My conduct with my wife, which is a subset of the work that validates the gospel and honors God, it matters. It matters to God, and it matters to anybody watching my life who's measuring the veracity of the gospel of God. Which is why it says in verse 15, "For such is the will of God that by doing right, you may silence the ignorance of foolish men." You take away their claim that this is not believable, credible.

The mocking is unjustified, because your life undermines the mocking. It puts them to silence. And their talk is stopping, not because they don't have a tongue and a mouth, but because of the quality and the caliber and the credibility of your life, what you say and what you display, they're muted.

They can't argue with that. The context of chapter 3, verse 7 is the display of the conduct that mutes the mocker. It honors God, and it validates the gospel of God. In the same way, verse 1, connected to verse 7, "You husbands likewise," is connected to the main verbal idea of that conduct that Peter is unpacking.

And that is the main verb, verse 13, chapter 2, "Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake." Submit is the governing verbal behavior, the prescriptive requirement, the commandment, the imperative, not optional. This is what good behavior looks like that validates the gospel of God and honors God. It involves submission, submission to rightful authority.

Submit, verse 13. Then he says, in the larger conduct, citizens, verses 13 through 17, citizen conduct is submission. Slave or employee conduct submission, 2, 18 through 20. Wife submission, in the same way, she should submit, chapter 3, 1 through 6. And I'm going to argue 3, 7, "You husbands likewise," likewise what?

Submit like she submits. Who are you submitting to? God's authority over you. In the same way, "be subject," and let me just give you a little bit of verbal definition. "Be subject," tasso, "is to arrange," hupo, "under." You voluntarily arrange yourself under the leadership of another. I choose to follow.

It's willing and respectfully following. Whether it's a governor, whether it's an employer, whether it's a husband or a husband, his divine authority in the home is Christ himself. And really, the centerpiece of this whole passage is chapter 2, 21 through 25, and that's the submission of the son to the father's will.

Like Christ did, like a Christian citizen does, like an employee should or a wife or a husband should, in order to be a God presenter, a God connector, you need to connect or you need to conduct yourself excellently and honorably. How? By submitting to your authority. Gentlemen, this starts with the compelling conviction that not only does this matter to God, His honor, not only does it matter to the hearers of the gospel the credibility of it, but it matters because you are saying, I am submitting to Christ.

This is about honoring Him and surrendering and obeying Him. Conducting yourself excellently and honorably by submitting to your authority, even in the face-- and this is another theme in this section-- even in the face of unjust, unfair, and difficult circumstances. You have the employee, verse 19, that finds favor.

Well, verse 18, you're to do this. It's good even to those who are unreasonable. Verse 18, verse 19, for this finds favor, submitting to your authority. If for the sake of conscience towards God, a man bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly, for what credit is there when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience.

But if and when you do what is right by submitting with the right attitude and right behavior, you suffer for it-- in other words, it's not going well-- and patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. And then chapter 3, 1 through 6 says to the wife, even if your husband is AWOL, he's not following God, you in the same way submit, even if it's not just, even if it's not fair.

Likewise, you husbands, if you're living with someone who's not a God follower or God honoring, even if it's hard and it's unjust and it's difficult, you in the same way follow Christ by following his prescription in this verse, in the same way. So here's the characteristic of a God honoring, gospel validating, and gospel blessing husband.

And I say gospel blessing because it's a God who listens to the prayers of such a man and brings blessing and benefit to that man because he qualifies. Remember James 5. I'm teaching it on Sundays here at our church. The effectual, the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

You know what 1 Peter 3.7 does? It qualifies rightness at home. And if there's no righteousness at home, there's no effectual praying that accomplishes much. How much? Well, it can stop it from raining for 3 and 1/2 years. It can start it raining again. That's a lot. Would you agree with that?

But you have to be qualified to pray a prayer that does a lot. And in 1 Peter 3.7, qualified praying is honoring and submitting to the prescriptive authority of the Son of God to husbands who are living with a wife for the glory of God and for the validating of the gospel of God.

That's the big idea. So the first thought is, if you want to be that kind of man, you have to have and possess a compelling conviction that this matters. How a wife treats her husband and how a husband treats a wife matters to God and affects the impact of the gospel of God.

Listen, you need to recognize that your marriage is not first and just about your satisfaction. It is about God's reputation. It's about your neighbor's conversion. This perspective and heart conviction is foundational and non-negotiable for the God-honoring, gospel-validating, and I expect to be blessed by God, husband. It starts there.

And frankly, everything else that we will unpack from this passage is undermined if there's not a bedrock conviction. And you know what a conviction is. It's a compelling belief. It's not just something you give mental assent to. It's something that motivates you and your actions and your behaviors and your attitudes.

You don't have a conviction unless it's a compelling belief. This is about a compelling conviction which says, man, this matters. Now you're standing here today, however you got here, whether you're here because she made you come or whether you're here because you know what, I need this. I need to understand what I don't understand.

Second characteristic of a God-honoring, gospel-validating, and God-blessing husband is they express faith-filled submission. I've already touched on this. This involves submission. And I'm saying it's faith-filled because what is being done is something that requires faith. They express faith-filled submission to their authority in the home and in all things Christ.

They actively and voluntarily submit to the sovereignty and the authority of God. If you're a keeper of verse 7, it's because you're submitting to his authority and his sovereignty, his right to rule, recognizing-- listen to this-- that God created your marriage. What God joins, that God defines the nature of your marriage.

It's a covenant, not a contract. You do. If you do, I will. That's not what this is. This is I will even if you don't. This is for better or for worse. And that God rules over the circumstances of your marriage. This is-- what I have is what he wants.

It may not be what I expected, but he rules in it, he governs it, and he expects me to act like it. They express faith-filled submission to the plan of God, recognizing he designed and defined the purpose of marriage. You know what purpose marriage is first and most about?

A picture of the greatest love relationship in the universe, that of Christ and his bride, Ephesians 5. The greatest love and the duration of your marriage, you submit to this until death do us part. Submission is cardinal to success in honoring God, validating the gospel of God, and having your prayers not hindered as you pray them to God.

Thirdly, they express faith-filled submission to the capacity of God, recognizing his ability to change and use your marriage. To save through it, because you're going to hear me argue, it could be that the fellow heir of the grace of life is talking about an unbeliever, not a believer. Because chapter 3, verse 1, is talking about an AWOL husband who is probably not a believer.

He may be. And what a husband does by his behavior with someone who shares life, but not spiritual life, is he influences them by living as a husband should under the authority of God. He's a God follower submitted to God's lordship and leadership. Let me summarize it this way.

In the same way as the aforementioned citizens, employees, and Christ did, the husband is to subject himself to God's expectation in the home and the culture by conducting themselves honorably, even in the face of unjust, unrighteous, and difficult circumstances. Verse 23, Jesus accepted a lot of reviling, didn't revile in return.

Verse 23, chapter 2, he did not revile in return. While suffering, he uttered no threats, but he kept entrusting himself to him who judges righteously. I'm not only submitted to him, I'm trusting him so that you can be a God-glorifying, standout witness for Jesus Christ. Number three, God-honoring, gospel-validating.

And husbands who enjoy God's blessing through prayer are characterized by committed-- I'm going to give you several words that are housed in this verse-- committed, engaging, and considerate. Committed, engaging, and considerate cohabitation and collaboration. I know that's a big sentence, but I couldn't help myself. That's what's in this verse.

They are characterized by committed, engaging, and considerate cohabitation and collaboration. The characteristics of a God-honoring, gospel-validating, God-blessing husband is they are willing, they're engaging, they are a gracious and honoring leader. You display committed and considerate cohabitation. That's personal engagement. I wrote this. He commits to considerate collaboration, not just "I have to" cohabitation.

By living with your wife in an understanding way. Let's look at verse 7 specifically. "You husbands likewise." "Likewise" introduces the main verb. You submit, like she does in the same way, like Christ did to His Father, like citizens do to governors. That's the main verb. "You husbands likewise submit." Now, this is a participle.

It modifies the main verb. That's important because it explains how you're to live out the submission. It's an instrumental participle, "by." It's a present tense verb participle, which means this is a progressive, active, habitual behavior. If you're a submitter, you're going to display that submission by ongoing, regular, daily living.

Living with her. It picks up its imperatival sense from the main verb, which is not optional. So "you husbands," I'm just unpacking it so that you own the authority of the scripture behind it. "You husbands submit." Just like she submits to you, you're to submit to Christ by living with her.

Let's talk living for a minute. The word means dwelling with, residing with. It has the idea of personal engagement, not just you're in the same house. By living and dwelling with, let's just start with the basics. You live and dwell with them, not divorcing them, not separating from them, not running away from them, not escaping from them.

You're living with them, not just rooming with them. This is not separate lives or separate beds. The word "living" has to do with engaging. It's personal interaction. Living with is not just eating, showering, and sleeping in the same house. The word involves proximity and engaging relational activity. It's doing a life with them, not just living life in the house.

Now, I think that's important because part of what you do when you honor God is proactively pursue relationship. You're not too tired when you come home from work or from ministry. You have some spoons or money in the relational bank. You haven't used up all your words or all your interest.

You are coming home, and you're engaging with her. You're the proactive pursuer. Living with her is submitting to Christ at home by proactively engaging her. And how does he live with her? Considerately. Live with your wives in an understanding way, literally according to knowledge, the knowledge of what she is.

She's a woman, which is what the passage says. The knowledge of what she is, this is general knowledge you need to have. She's a woman. You say, thanks a lot. I already know that. No, you need to understand what a woman is by virtue of these two big categories, her constitution, a weaker vessel, and her social status or station, lesser, not respected.

She's a woman, and her physical constitution and her social position are normatively weaker. You live with her as-- that's a comparative word-- as with a weaker vessel. The presumption is she's physically weaker. I mean, if you have a jar that can't be opened at home, do the kids bring it to you or her?

Don't answer that if they bring it to her. There's a reason that the world powerlifting champion for women is a trans guy. That's a true statement. Look, if you arm wrestle and she wins, we need to talk after. Weaker, it means without strength, lesser strength by comparison, not strong compared to you.

You need to recognize that in her physical constitution, she's in need of support and protection. That's the idea. He tells Peter here that husbands, God-honoring, gospel-validating, and God-blessing husbands are to live with their wife according to the common knowledge that as a woman, she's generally weaker physically than her husband is, who's a man.

The key idea would imply personal and physical protection, the assumption being she's vulnerable without that protection. She's vulnerable to injury and harm. Ellicott, the commentator, says all of chivalry is in these words. "Weakness itself," he writes, "by being weakness has a claim upon the stronger man's deference and self-submission." This is about considering her and living with her in a way that recognizes she needs your protection.

I write it this way. Practically, he, you, walk on the vehicle side of the street. You remove the snakes and you kill the spiders. You check out the noise in the night. Honey, go check that out. What is that? You're the one who provides protection from predators and bad actors.

This kind of husband keeps his wife out of situations that endanger her. Listen, I live in a very safe neighborhood if there is such a thing in Southern California. It's the country and the city. But Karen's not going for a walk around our college campus without our German shepherd walking with her.

I tell her, I said, honey, I don't know of a guy that you're going to win over. Overpower is what I mean by that. You're not walking alone at night. And you're not driving alone at night into that part of town. No way, no how. Otherwise, I'm going. Because a husband who lives with his wife according to knowledge understands that.

And he treats her like that, chivalrously. And by the way, weaker is not a reference to tougher. You ever see a woman birth a baby? She's tough. This is not about smarter. She's not intellectually weaker. Do you know how many women are compellingly bright? This is not about smarts.

And it's not about she's lesser because she's weaker. It's not like we're better because we're stronger. This is simply a reference to the fact that she's vulnerable and you're to protect her. My wife would expect me to protect her by what comes across the television screen at our house, what she gets exposed to.

She's actually under the conviction that it's her husband's responsibility to watch out for her, not just physically, but emotionally. That's what these words-- and let me add this. And women in that day-- listen to this-- not regarded in society at all, treated like a Gentile or a dog. In other words, she had no status in that culture when Peter's writing this.

Oh yeah, they could have babies. They could own property. They were considered citizens. But that's it. No societal influence, no social influence. Part of what a husband does is recognizing her physical station as weaker and her social status is lesser. So I'm going to argue, gentlemen, you live with her in a right way.

You're going to treat her with honor and respect in ways a culture never could. It's not about her demanding anything. It's about you honoring her because you are the stronger, both socially and physically. Let me add this too. Cohabitation, considerate cohabitation is more than general knowledge. Gentlemen, you need to have specific working knowledge.

Notice what the passage says. Live with your wife in an understanding way. You know what that introduces? My wife is not your wife. Your wife is not my wife or somebody else's. Well, you need to know your girl. You need to be a master at knowing her. My wife, horses, not motorcycles.

Chocolate chip, not oatmeal raisin. Country, not city. Boots, not heels. Jeans, not dresses. Chocolates, not jewelry. Russell Stover's or C's. Craftsman, not modern. I'm talking about architectural and interior design. My wife needs time to decide. She's a time to process decider, not a turn on a dime decision maker.

I'm the one who can turn on a dime. But learning to live with her is recognition she needs time. And Karen, my wife, it's time with her and for her, not we in a group. Now, I'm a pastor. Guess what I do? Groups. But my wife needs time not in a group.

Your wife is not my wife. You need to know your wife. You need to be a specialist. You live with her according to knowledge. You're a student of her. This is what submitting to Christ looks like if you're going to honor God. Your wife doesn't have to clamor for attention.

She does not have to demand your interest. You're showing up ready to engage, informed by the reality of who she is as a woman generally and who she is as your wife. Listen, Deuteronomy 24.5, and it ought to get our attention, says this, "When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out with the army nor be charged with any duty.

He shall be free at home one year and shall give happiness to his wife whom he has taken." Now, you can interpret that a lot of ways. But I don't think I'm staying at home for a year so she can learn how to make me happy. This is I'm learning how to make her happy.

I'm learning how to minister to her specifically and uniquely. There's a second thing about considerate cohabitation, and it does involve considerate collaboration. I'm going to just mention this for the sake of time today, but your marriage is about a divine partnership and friendship. This is Genesis 128. God made them male and female.

He dispensed and deposited His glory into two who in a complementary marriage relationship represent the glories of God together. "It is not good," this is God in a perfect world, six days of creation not complete. He looks at the world He's made and He said, "It is not good for Adam to be alone, man to be alone." Remember this?

Not good to be alone. What do you mean He's alone? God's there. Got a whole wealth of the animal kingdom, spot and all of His other breeds are there. Some people think spot's all you need. God didn't think that's all you needed. He looked at a perfect world that He had created and He said, "Adam, it's not good for you to be alone." So I'm going to make a helper.

Do you know what that word means? Someone who makes up what that which is lacking. Lacking for what? The purpose for which I made you. I made you, and gentlemen, God made every one of you. This is the, you know that, but for a purpose. Acts 13, 36, when David finished his purpose in his generation, he fell asleep.

Now, does anyone even want to argue that David's the only guy that had a purpose from God? Every designed child of God, every man of God, every human being is purposed by God for a purpose in your generation. You are missional by design, and your mission is your mission.

I'm doing my mission, and critical to my mission is somebody who makes up what I lack. Because I can't get this done without the partner that God said I needed to do what He created me to do. So if you're going to cohabit with her, you need to collaborate with her, because she's your partner.

I would put it this way. You lack a practical partner, a teammate, so that you can fulfill the destiny and purpose and mission for which God made you. And if you're living with her according to knowledge, you get that, which made you include her. It's not like you leave it all at the office or all at the church.

You actually have a partner to walk with you. Now listen, there's certain spaces and things you can't talk about at home with your wife. I have a thing with my elders. We have a confidential environment unless we release you from confidence because you can't go home and tell her because she wasn't in the meeting.

So I'm not advocating that she becomes, it's Pastor Harry and Pastor Karen. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying she's your partner essentially. That's a collaborating relationship, and it's a necessary one. Your wife needs to own your journey. The greatest advocate, cheerleader in your life, committed to your calling should be your girl.

And she's not gonna be unless you include her because this is living with her in an understanding way. The second thing it says she is, she is a helper suitable. It's a Hebrew word which means she fits, like a puzzle piece used to broken pottery. Translated in the book of Proverbs as intimate companion.

Do you know what your wife is? You're living with her in an understanding way, a necessary intimate friend. Your best buddies ought not be ministry buddies because they're not suitable for that. She's God-crafted for that. So this is about collaborating with her as a partner in your mission and as a companion for your life.

And if there's not time for that, you're not submitted to the requirement of living with her in a way that's according to knowledge. The fourth characteristic of a God-honoring gospel validating a God-blessing husband is he's committed to displaying a respectful disposition and honoring his wife's high position. Now I know if you read Ephesians, there's a book title that says love and respect.

Let me tell you what you are commanded to do as a husband. Love your wife. Present active imperative, Colossians chapter three, verse 19 says, "Husbands, always love your wife." It's non-negotiable, it's a requirement. By the way, only two verbs for husbands in Colossians. A lot written in Ephesians, 11 verses, one verse to husbands.

You only have to memorize one verse because her verse isn't for you. Her verse says, "Wives, submit yourself to your husbands." Notice what doesn't start, "Husbands, make your wife submit," doesn't say that. She's got one verse, you have one verse, you have two verbs. Husbands, love your wife. And then he goes on to say, "And don't ever be harsh with her." You know what's housed in harsh?

Don't be embittered. The word embittered means you've been injured by her and you injure back. Typically, she's gonna injure you with words. Rarely is she gonna beat you up. Going back to the weaker vessel thing. So when she injures you with words, what do you not do ever? Injure her back with words.

This is what you always do, you love her. You consider her needs greater than your own. We know, loved by this, that he laid down his life for us. It's sacrificial. For us, it's beneficial. When did he do that? Why we were his enemies, unconditional. We know, loved by this, that he himself, that's personal.

He didn't hire somebody as a surrogate. Laid down his life for us. That's what love is. That's what love does. That's what we're commanded to do. And the thing we're never to do is to treat her with disrespect, harshly, and harm her. Listen, your woman, your wife, comes soft.

You want her to stay soft. You can callous by harshness what you need most from her, which is intimacy. Vulnerability in every kind of way. This is the divine design when God said, I'm going to make a helper, a practical partner, intimate companion for you. Remember what Adam did?

He looked at every other option. Started naming the animals, and at the end of that exercise, which showed his missional calling as regent over the created world, what did it say? And there was not found anyone or anything suitable to him. So then he gets put to sleep. God takes from his core, out of his core, the rib which he fashions, that is an art word, custom makes, a woman from his rib.

So from his core, for his core need, God supernaturally creates from him, for him, masterfully and artfully, a solution to what he didn't have, a helper suitable. You may not know this, but when it says, and God brought her to the man, the word brought means he unveiled her to him.

That's why brides used to wear veils, because the father who represents God would bring her down the aisle, and at the appropriate time, he would unveil her. That's what God did. It's not like, hey, check it out. I'm imagining it was much more like this. God in front, her behind, and he steps aside and said, this is, this is what I did.

And you know what Adam did to that? Now we're talking, right? (audience laughing) That's what he said. This is now, emphatic, now this is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. This is what I couldn't find anywhere in a perfect world. Remember that? Bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh, she shall be called Esha, woman, because she was taken out of Esh.

Do you hear the similarity? I want her to have a derivative of my name because I want everybody to know I agree with God, and she goes with me, which is why she gets your name. She gets your name because it's your way of saying, I agree with God, this is what I needed and didn't have, and this is what he gave to me, and I want the world to know this is what he gave to me.

Are you tracking with me? All right, now, so here's the deal. If you don't live with her in an understanding way and high recognition of her high station in her human creation and God's custom provision, you're not gonna live with her according to this verse. It's according to knowledge.

What knowledge? That knowledge. If you would happen to pick up my phone and my wife is calling, it would say Princess Karen, and you say aww, all the women would say aww, but you know why it says that? Yes, she's a princess, yes, she's my princess, but you know why that is?

'Cause I forget that. I just forget who she is. I need to remember who she is, so whatever you do to help you live with her in according to a way that recognizes real knowledge and real revelation so you'll treat her like that, do that. Otherwise, your prayers are hindered.

Respectful disposition, not a harsh one. Honoring your wife's high station. Let's go back to the verse, verse seven, 'cause we're kinda unpacking it. Since she's a woman, do you see the and? It's a connective. It's adding one other participle saying this is what submission looks like. It begins with engaging, considerate, cohabitation, involvement, and this is a participle, verse seven, and granting her honor.

So I'm only submitting, I'm only honoring the Lord, I'm only validating the gospel if I add to my living with her according to knowledge by elevating her, granting her honor. Granting her honor. He daily shows his wife honor. This word simply put means you treat her as if she has high value and great worth.

You pay your respect towards her and you behave respectfully towards her because you recognize the value she shares. You grant her honor. Someone has said honor and love are not the same things. Love is a willful sacrificial action and strong affection. Honor is to think highly, to respect highly, to show respect for, to recognize the value of and bestow regard for in light of that value.

Here's what a God honoring gospel validating, God answering and blessing a husband does. He assigns and displays value and worth to his wife by respectful, you have high value and you are my equal attitudes and actions. First he honors his wife as an equal. She's a fellow heir. Fellow means she's on my par.

She has an equal station with me. She's a share of similar condition or status that I do. She has different roles, responsibilities, abilities and capacities, but what she possesses is equal value and position. She's a fellow heir. Fellow makes her equal. She is not inferior. She has a secondary responsibility and leadership, but that doesn't make her lesser any more than when Jesus said I come to do your will, not my own, makes him lesser.

Second he honors her as an equal heir. That is someone who shares a high station by grace. That's what it says, a fellow heir of the grace of life. She has a unique position in creation with you and if she's a Christian, she has a unique position with you in salvation because this is unmerited life and I'm gonna argue it's life in two potential ways.

The reason you treat her as an equal is because she enjoys what you enjoy, which is natural life. So I don't find any good reason to say this has, to say exclusively, it only involves to the shared space we have as children of God. She's a fellow heir of the salvation benefits that I enjoy.

No good reason to restrict this phrase to a reference only to spiritual and eternal life. Matter of fact, one commentator says here, therefore we may well suppose that he's thinking chiefly of the case of believing husbands married to unbelieving wives. The first thing is that they are to dwell with these wives, not to divorce them, not to see cease with conjugal cohabitation with them.

Such harshness would inhibit the gospel and misrepresent Christianity. This is the potential, this commentator writes, application of Paul's declaration that the unbelieving wife is sanctified by her husband. Now I wanna argue exegetically, that means based on the context and everything else going on, this whole section is one example after another of living honorably and differently in the face of difficulty.

I'm gonna argue it's likely that this girl that you're supposed to grant honor to may not be having in honorable ways. But she's a fellow heir of the life that you breathe and the life you enjoy, treat her with that. So you honor her and respect her in view of the purposeful creation by God, that she's your partner, your companion, she's the co-regent with you over God's natural creation.

You honor her in recognition of that. Listen, the world should not have to clamor to elevate a woman in marriage. That should start with us. Further, if she's saved, she's an equal heir with you and she shares the high station and unique position in redemption that you share. Her worth is not just in her creation, but in her salvation.

A God-honoring husband renders his wife honor in light of the fact that they are co-heirs as children of God enjoying the grace of eternal life with all of its presence and future benefits. You know this, of all Christians, male and female, the scripture says that we are all children of God and heirs, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ.

So that whatever Christ has, we share, whatever I share with Christ, she shares. It is a high station. You grant her as a woman, remembering Galatians 3:26, "There's neither bond nor free, nor rich, nor poor, "nor male, nor female." Our identity in Jesus Christ is equal and therefore we treat her with that equality and that high station.

I'm the pastor, I'm the husband, I'm the father, I'm the leader of the home. Those are responsibilities that I have. They are not status symbols or definitions or titles. Are you with me? This is biblical Christianity. This is what's to cause the world around you to listen. All right, I'm gonna flesh this out.

I only have a few minutes left so you take notes fast or you're just gonna have to listen hard. (audience laughing) 'Cause I got some things I want to share by way of the unpacking of the grace of life. Seven ways, okay, so they're gonna be fast. God honoring, gospel validating husbands.

Respect and honor the reality of this shared grace of life station. Creation and salvation. Treating his wife as an essential kingdom mission partner, not just a housekeeper. He solicits, receives, respects, and values her input on life, family, and ministry priorities. He respects her opinion. Number two, he treats his wife as an intimate companion with whom he shares his life and soul.

He values her as a one-of-a-kind solution to his aloneness problem. Therefore, he prioritizes time with her. He communicates his heart with her and ask about her heart. He does life with her, not just lives in the house with her, sharing duties with her. He respects her as a life partner and best friend.

Three, he partners with his wife in their shared family responsibilities in the home. I don't have time to go into this, but during COVID, a lot of guys demonstrated whether they were owners at home or not. They were at home, they just didn't do the work of a home sharer, partner.

We should be people that enter into the responsibilities of leading a home. Somebody's put it this way. We need to involve in the unpaid work that she has. We share it cognitive labor. We help lead at home. Men need to do their fair share of this labor. I'll just say it simply as that.

Four, he affirms her rarity and beauty. This is the grace of life. If you get it, you're gonna affirm her rarity and beauty. She's one-of-a-kind, she's custom-made for you. You acknowledge her God-given talents and passions and you support their growth and expression for the glory of God and the good of men.

You are the leader of your wife first. You maximize who she is. You understand, according to knowledge, her giftedness, her passions. That's what you do for people in the church. You teach them the word of God and then you help them to realize their potential for the glory of God.

Job one is at home. My wife needs to flourish. Your wife needs to flourish. Why? Because she's in a good church? No, because she's in a good home with a good husband. He promotes her strengths and protects her weaknesses. I'm hurrying, I know we need to go. He respects his wife spiritually and recognizes her before God equality as a sister in Christ.

He does not regard himself as better than her or more important than her. And finally, this is number seven. He acknowledges and values her spiritual giftedness and promotes and supports her necessary and essential contribution to the body of Christ. She is a fellow heir of everything I have. We share it together.

And if I live with her in an understanding way that maximizes that, and gentlemen, you can agree with me, I'm 42 years in this June. Dated her for two 42 years as her husband come June the fifth. Guess what I am? Still learning. So whatever Harry Walls has said to you today out of this passage, it's not because I have achieved or accomplished it all.

I am convinced that this is required of me before I taste heaven to secure this ground so that God is honored, the gospel is validated, and God hears and answers my prayers. And guess what I need? That, can you say amen to that? - Amen. - All right, gentlemen, thank you.

God bless you. (audience applauding)